JT Board
January 2, 2005
GN 1105 FD/MM/FM
For Family Discipleship Homes
By the International JT Board‚ January 2005
FD/MM/FM
Dear Family,
God bless you. We love you! In this GN we are presenting the JETT/teen board criteria which Family discipleship Homes will be reviewed by at Home review time.
As you read through the criteria, you will find selected portions of the vast amount of marvelous and in-depth Word that has been given to us over the years in regards to raising and training our young people. We've inserted Word Basis for every clause of the criteria. The jewels contained herein will help give you the Lord's perspective on the criteria points, and we hope it will inspire and challenge you to reach the goals and standard contained in each one.
Each criteria point also comes with an explanation that we pray will be a blessing and help in giving you a fuller understanding of what each point entails, while at the same time serve as a reference to help you implement and carry out the practical application of the criteria within your Homes.
Much love, your International JT board
Our young people are the hope of the future, and in order to raise them as our future disciples and Endtime witnesses, we must focus on their training by making it a priority in each of our Homes.
There is so much in the Word, both new and old, on the need to pour into our teens and invest in them in order for them to feel motivated and inspired in the Family, and challenged to fulfill their destiny. Our JETTs and teens were not born into the Family by accident. Although each of them must make a personal decision as to whether they will serve the Lord when they come of age‚ it is our job to pray for them, pour into them, give them a good foundation in the Lord, and show them what serving the Lord is all about so that when the time comes for them to make that choice, they will have the preparation to make the right one.
Pouring into our JETTs and teens isn't always easy. Adolescence can be a difficult age both for the JETTs and teens themselves, as well as for those living around them. They are emerging from childhood into adulthood, and the transition isn't always smooth. They are experiencing new things both physically and emotionally. They have a lot of energy and idealism that needs to be harnessed and channeled. But no matter how difficult, the Lord has the keys to each one of their hearts and each of them has the potential to be a Family disciple. The Lord has called them and it's our job as parents, shepherds, older brothers or sisters‚ and Family members, to help them find their calling and make the choice to serve Him.
We are building the future of the Family when we pour into our JETTs and teens, and whatever we put into them today is an investment in tomorrow. That's what these criteria are all about. It's about giving our JETTs and teens what they need today in order to help them be dedicated, revolutionary, sold–out disciples for Jesus now and in the future. If they decide to follow another path in life, fulfilling these criteria will also help you prepare them to make the most of that life, equipping them with the fundamental character traits and training needed for success in any walk of life.
Our goal when putting together this JETT/teen criteria for the Homes was to make it Word based and uncompromising, yet doable. Looking through the criteria at all that there is to do to meet it can be daunting. But it can be done—and it's essential for our young people's future as disciples. This set of criteria is not just "pie in the sky" or a list of things that would be nice to do if your Home has the time or the opportunity to do them. Every aspect of it is a vital piece of our JETTs and teens' training and a crucial step toward making them Family disciples. If you don't do your utmost to implement each one, your JETTs and teens will not be getting their needs met and they will most likely be unchallenged, bored, dissatisfied with Family life, and unhappy.
In order to help your Home focus on the various aspects of meeting your JT's needs‚ we've divided the criteria into five main aspects.
*Shepherding and Supplying the Needs of the JETTs and Teens
*Christian Conduct and Sample
*Disciplinary Standard
*Spiritual Training
*Witnessing
Each aspect is equally important to meeting the needs of the JETTs and teens and raising them as disciples. Together they form the basis of the criteria by which your Home will be evaluated within the JETT/teen board pillar. Some aspects of the criteria will take more effort for your Home to fulfill, while others might be easier to enact right away. It's important to seek the Lord together as a Home as to what areas your Home needs to improve in, as well as in how to have the proper balance in implementing the criteria so that all aspects are covered and none are neglected.
For example, you might be taking your JETTs and teens out witnessing and providing them with plenty of opportunity to get involved in your Home's outreach ministries. That's wonderful. Each Home does have certain areas in which they will shine more than others, but it can't end there. That's only one aspect of their discipleship training, and if you are not tuning in to their training in other areas and are not providing them with the rest of their needs, then your Home needs to check yourselves‚ look at those areas, discuss them, pray and ask the Lord for His solutions, and make the adjustments that are needed so you can have the right balance which will enable you to effectively meet all of the criteria. You may not always be tops in every aspect‚ but you should be giving your best in each of these areas.
You'll notice that some of the points within the five main aspects of the criteria have an asterisk (*) by them. These are points that the JETT/teen board feels, from researching and studying the counsel in the Word, are key areas that your Home should be focusing on and which carry more weight in determining at what level your Home is meeting the criteria. This doesn't mean that the other points are unimportant or do not carry any weight at all when it comes to the Home review. All of the criteria are important, but some of the criteria, or aspects of the criteria, are more important than others, and your Home should be putting the majority of your efforts into fulfilling those. There are no individual "make or break" questions in this review. You will be evaluated on your efforts in each of the five main areas of this criteria and how effectively you are meeting the needs of the JETTs and teens in your Home.
As you read over the criteria you will notice that the criteria and the majority of the questions on the Home report form are not necessarily focusing on whether your JETTs and teens are doing well, but rather what your Home is doing in order to inspire discipleship in your JETTs and teens (and the shepherding and training that is being given them). Occasionally there will be a question for your Home to fill out relating specifically to the JETTs and teens in the Home and how they are doing in some aspect. These are for the information of the JETT/teen board (and will have [info] before the question), so that we are better able to identify your Home's needs so we can help you as a board.
We are not expecting perfect teens. Because of the nature of adolescence and the fact that each JETT or teen must make their own choices before the Lord, we realize that often when it comes to JETTs and teens, the Home (and parents) may be doing all they can for them‚ but they may not seem to be responding. They may be going through a difficult stage in their teen years or making the wrong personal choices. We don't expect that everything your Home tries or implements for your JETTs and teens will always work or have the desired effect in their lives. Sometimes in finding out what works, it takes finding out first what doesn't work. Something that worked successfully with a group of teens in the past may not work the same way with your adolescents of today.
The key is not to give up, but to keep trying and seeking the Lord for the answers. The criteria provide the basic outline of what your Home should be doing in regards to your JETTs and teens, but your Home will need to seek the Lord for the specific keys in fulfilling these criteria with your particular JETTs and teens, because each JETT or teen is different and their specific needs also change as they go through their teen years. As well, each age group, be it JETTs, junior teens or senior teens, have diverse needs.
The main question that we seek to address through this criteria and the point that will be the basis of evaluation throughout the Home review is whether your Home is faithful to pour into your JETTs and teens and is actively seeking to fulfill their spiritual, physical and emotional needs. In other words, the focus will be on what you as a Home are doing and not necessarily on how your young people are doing. Are their needs and discipleship a priority for your Home? Or are they often neglected and left to themselves, with little attention given them? If you as parents, shepherds and members of the Home are following the Word and the counsel given in the New Wine in regards to your JETTs and teens and their needs and how to shepherd them, then you will be fulfilling the criteria and eventually your efforts will be apparent through the fruit borne in their lives. There will be a difference.
As was brought out in "Forward, Always Forward" (ML #3479)‚ there will also be a JETT/teen shepherding "handbook" coming your way soon. This handbook is being developed in order to help your Home with the practical application of fulfilling the criteria. It will cover in more detail how to meet the needs of the JETTs and teens, giving helpful tips and counsel from the Letters, Family pubs, and other material on how to interact with, shepherd, teach and inspire discipleship in them. We pray that having all this counsel together in one place will be a blessing to you as you pour into your JETTs and teens and prepare them for their future!
Family discipleship Homes should:
*1. Have a voting member 18 years or older be a JETT/teen counselor who represents the JETTs and teens‚ and is tuning in to their shepherding, oversight and needs.
The JETT/teen counselor works under the oversight of the body of Home shepherds, who are ultimately responsible for the spiritual shepherding of the Home and all its members. The JETT/teen counselor should also counsel and work together with the JETTs and teens' parents, the Home managers, and the Home in matters relating to the JETTs and teens.
If there are JETTs or teens in the Home with nonresident parents, the parents should be kept informed on a regular basis, by the JETT/teen counselor or the Home shepherds, of their JETT or teen's physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being.
While praying about and discussing the needs of the JETTs and teens and seeking the Lord for direction on how to best meet their needs amongst all there is to do in our busy Homes, He showed us that it's important for each Home to designate a specific person to shoulder this responsibility. This person would be the JT counselor (formerly known as a JETT or teen shepherd).
This position is different than that of the JT monitor. However‚ even though the JT monitor and the JT counselor are different positions in the Home, we suggest that they be the same person, if possible. To explain the differences of the two: The minimum responsibility of the JT monitor is to be mindful of the criteria for the JT board, to study the handbook and practical how–to pubs‚ and to help raise the awareness in the Home about any lacks or needs regarding the JT pillar. The JT counselor's specific portfolio is distinct in that, in addition to being knowledgeable of the criteria, the "JT handbook," and other pubs related to the JETTs and teens, he or she is assigned by the Home to be involved in the JT's lives on a daily basis and to be tuning into their shepherding, oversight and needs. Depending on the need and situation, the JT counselor can also be one of the Home shepherds.
The Lord explained that having someone in each Home who is responsible to represent and tune in to the JETTs and teens in this way will be a key element and will make all the difference in whether or not the requirements and goals outlined in this set of criteria will be reached and followed through successfully and bring forth positive results in the lives of the JETTs and teens in the Home.
Of course, the parents of the JETTs and teens are ultimately responsible for them, and the Home shepherds will play a big part in the adolescents' lives by the fact that they are responsible for the spiritual shepherding of all the members of the Home. The JT monitor (if not the same person as the JT counselor) will also be thinking about the JT board criteria and raising the awareness of the Home regarding such. However, having someone who is thinking and praying about the JETTs and teens themselves and tuning into them as one of their specific portfolios will help challenge the young people and inspire them to become the disciples the Lord wants them to be!
While everyone in the Home should be involved in some way or another with the JETTs and teens, some things (and this is not a complete list by any means) a JT counselor should be doing are: praying about the JT's Word time and ways to make it inspiring and feeding, organizing activities for the JTs‚ taking personal time with the JTs, and along with the parents and Home shepherds, taking questions to the Lord about problem areas in the JT's lives to get His counsel and direction in helping to shepherd them, and any other duties the Home assigns them in regards to the JETTs and teens.
Since the Home shepherds are ultimately responsible for the spiritual shepherding of all members of the Home‚ the JT counselor (even if he or she happens to also be one of the Home shepherds) would work under the oversight of the body of the Home shepherds and should work closely with and counsel with them on a very regular basis.
There are times when JETTs and teens, usually senior teens, are living away from their parents in another Home. When that's the case, it's important that the JT counselor or Home shepherds of the Home where the teen is residing maintain faithful communication with the parents of the teen and keep them updated and informed on a regular basis of their teen's well-being. No matter where they live, until they are of age, teens are ultimately their parents' responsibility‚ and it's important that the parents are aware of their teen's physical, spiritual and emotional well–being in order to be able to give prayer, support and counsel if needed.
Word Basis:
(Jesus:) Dear Family, I know you're looking at this criterion with wide eyes‚ wondering how you're ever going to be able to see to it that all of these aspects are taken care of and that you're really giving your JETTs and teens the proper care, shepherding, time and investment that they need. Well, one thing that will make it easier for you to stay on top of all these criteria points is if you designate a specific JETT/teen counselor for your Home. This person should be someone who has a heart for the JTs and who is willing to let Me work through them to help raise them to be disciples.
The JT counselor can't do it alone; that's not the goal. You can't just appoint a JT counselor and then think your work is done and that you can expect that person to miraculously turn your JTs into model disciples. No, it doesn't work that way. The whole Home will still need to be involved in the JETTs and teens' lives, and each person will need to devote some of their time and energy to help with the JETTs and teens in one way or another—it's got to be a common goal amongst all your Home members. But having a designated JT counselor will mean that you're putting importance on the JTs; it shows that you think their needs are important and that someone needs to be praying about them and asking Me for direction and help and getting ideas from Me for the JTs.
You need someone who is thinking proactively, not just defensively like so many Homes do with their JETTs and teens. You can't win a defensive warfare. You can't wait until the JTs' problems are so big that you have to take time away from your work to tune into them and help them with their problems. You need to build a fence at the top of the cliff rather than a hospital at the bottom, and one very good way of doing this is by having someone in your Home whose responsibility is the JETTs and teens. Even if your Home only has one or two JTs, you still need to raise up a JT counselor! It's important, folks‚ and something you've got to do if you expect to build a winning team and make your JETTs and teens a part of that team!
The JT counselor should work very closely with the Home shepherds and managers in order to have a good balance of counsel and input so that the JT department in your Home is working well with and blending in with all the other important ministries that are going on in your Home. (Previously unpublished prophecy.)
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(Note: The following excerpt was taken from "Call to the Rescue" when the Lord was challenging the YAs and SGAs to help with their younger brothers and sisters. Although these quotes are referring to YAs and SGAs‚ we're including them here because they are a perfect example of what a JETT/teen counselor needs to do to help our JTs‚ whether the JT counselor is 20 years old or 55!)
(Mama:) …Each of our junior teens, JETTs, and OCs‚ too, needs an older buddy, shepherd or bellwether friend. Will you be the one? You may not feel like a shepherd or a bellwether, but the Lord knows you can be if you will pray desperately for Him to give you the love and the vision to help these younger ones.
They need positive role models who they can look up to and who will help show them the way, and one of the main things that's going to make them feel challenged and inspired and turned on to the Lord and the Word is your sample, your shepherding, your love and your friendship. They look up to you. They want to be your friend. They want to emulate what you do and be what you are. They look up to you even more than they look up to their parents, because you're closer to their age and they figure you will understand them better since you went through the same things not long ago.
Be a friend to them. Don't just "take care of them" out of duty or because you're asked to or the Lord says to. Ask the Lord to put a real love for them in your heart‚ so that you can develop a rapport with them as their friend and shepherd, a role model who's interested in them and whose sample they want to follow.
Be there to hold their hand as they walk through the tunnel of their lives. It's pretty dark right now for some of them, and because of their lack of experience, they can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel. But you can, because you've been through that tunnel before. You know what it's like, and you can hold their hand and help lead them through. One day they'll be forever grateful to you for having helped them get through and come into the light of the other side, and it will be worth it all! ("Call to the Rescue, Part 1," ML #3114:133, 134, 141‚ 142, Lifelines 24)
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Parents are entitled to know the physical, spiritual and educational well-being of each of their children, and they should be informed of such on a regular basis. ... If the child lives in a different Home than the parents, the parents must be informed of the overall state of their child no less than once every three months. ...If the teen or child is going through a difficult period, or in the case of a serious sickness or accident, we would, of course, encourage more frequent communication with the parents, if possible, to gain their needed prayer, support and counsel. (The Love Charter: "Rights of Parents," E.)
a. Does your Home have a JT counselor?
i. Is the JT counselor in your Home allotted sufficient time to plan and prepare Word classes (as needed) and JETT/teen activities, and shepherd and communicate regularly with the JETTs and teens in your Home?
ii. Is there good communication between the JT counselor and the Steering Council, parents and other members of the Home?
b. If you have any JETTs and teens in your Home with nonresident parents, have you communicated with the parent(s) according to the Charter guidelines (listed in The Love Charter: "Rights of Parents," E.2.)
*2. Have a well-balanced schedule for the JETTs and teens that includes all aspects of Home life: spiritual training‚ academics, witnessing, Home duties, vocational training, physical education‚ fun and relaxation in order to help them be challenged and happy in the Family.
Having a well-balanced schedule is a vital key to the JETTs and teens feeling challenged and being happy. This schedule is something that the JT counselor in the Home could pray about and work with the parents and Home managers to develop. If there is a good balance between the JTs getting the quality spiritual input they need‚ scholastics, fun/recreation and activities, get-out‚ spending time learning certain skills and going through CVC courses that are of interest to them, as well as having rousing and inspiring times of witnessing and pouring out to the sheep through personal witnessing and other forms of outreach, they will most likely have less problems, they won't be bored, they'll be more enthusiastic about their lot in life, and more willing to cooperate when asked to pitch in and do things that might not be their favorite activity. Just as Dad taught us, we all need a just balance in our work and play, and it's so true for our JETTs and teens too!
Word Basis:
(Jesus: ) Teens need to learn, they need to grow, they need to have a challenge. They must have responsibility, yet at the same time variety, and you must realize that. They want to be trusted, but they also want to be able to learn new things and have the opportunity to find their place. They need to see the importance of schooling and doing their best to learn, and they can be inspired to do it. They don't want to just be cleaning, cooking, and taking care of the toddlers all the time. They do need ministry training, but they also need variety and opportunities for new experiences. Most of all, they need to experience what you're here for, what your whole life for Me is about—witnessing, winning others to My Kingdom, and feeding the sheep. ("Jewels on Junior Teens, Part 1," ML #3439:33, GN 1025)
a. Do your JETT/teens have a well-balanced schedule that allots time for each of the following:
Spiritual training
Academics (during school year)
Witnessing
Home duties
Vocational training/CVC courses
Physical education
Fun and relaxation
*3. Lovingly shepherd their JETTs and teens using the Word‚ prayer, wise counsel, and hearing from the Lord in prophecy. Allot personal talk time and/or open forums so the JETTs and teens can express their needs, questions and concerns.
Using the Word, prayer‚ wise counsel and hearing from the Lord in prophecy is the best step-by-step how-to for lovingly shepherding your JETTs and teens. The goal is to help our JTs be fulfilled‚ challenged and inspired disciples and missionaries, so it is important that we follow the Lord's guidelines on how to shepherd them and raise them in His nurture and admonition.
If our Homes are faithfully following the above standard and guidelines, are shepherding them in a loving manner and resisting the temptation to use the arm of the flesh through legalism and self-righteousness, while at the same time upholding the standard of the Word, this formula, coupled with sufficient opportunity for the JETTs and teens to effectively express their needs‚ questions and concerns‚ will be a winning combination for JT shepherding.
Word Basis:
(Jesus: ) My precious ones, My Word never returns void‚ for it will accomplish the purpose whereunto I have sent it, and return again to Me fruitful and unchanging even as I have sent it forth. So do not worry for your children, if you have given them the Word!
There is much to be done, but the solution is the same—My Word, giving them My Word lovingly‚ gently, in an appealing form, giving it to them faithfully, consistently as much as you can.
(Dad:) The answer [to our kids' problems] is just that simple—it's learning to ask the Lord about each of the kids and how to best help them. … Hearing from the Lord is the personal solution that is available to you. As you take time with the Lord‚ He will not only give you the solutions that will help and encourage the kids, but He will comfort your hearts, relieve the pressure, and give you faith. ("Shepherding Our Children and Young People," ML #3191:72-73, 18-19, GN 796)
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(Mama: ) As Dad said, it takes the love of God, the patience of Job and the wisdom of Solomon to handle young people properly, but love, patience, wisdom and tolerance‚ while still upholding the standard, pay off. Whereas cracking the whip out of frustration will only alienate the teens and possibly even cause an explosive backlash. Lowering the rod out of frustration and impatience will not bear good fruit in your teens' lives, and may even make them more rebellious and difficult to handle. So pray for love, understanding and tolerance, while at the same time standing firm in your convictions and adherence to the general principles of the Word.
And when problems come up, remember that getting together with your teens and discussing the problems together usually brings the best results. Ask them what they think the problems are, and what they think the solutions are, based on what they have been taught from the Word. Our teens have a pretty good knowledge of the Word, and they'll probably come up with the right answers, with some help if necessary. And they'll be much more willing to follow through with those solutions, because they'll have reached those conclusions themselves, rather than having had them simply handed down to them by the "older generation."
Please do all you can to treat the teens respectfully and lovingly, but firmly, and expect them to comply with your Home rules just like everyone else. ("Loving Shepherding and Interaction—Charter Style," ML #3018:78-80‚ Lifelines 22)
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H. All members ages 9 through 17 must have a minimum of one hour of personal time every two weeks with a shepherd or designated adult, or participate in a one-hour weekly open forum discussion chaired by a shepherd and comprising other members of their age group.
1. Personal time may be conducted by a Home officer or parent(s)‚ or another competent voting member assigned by the Home's officers.
2. Members ages 12 through 17 may put forth suggestions as to whom they would prefer to have personal time with.
(The Love Charter: "Required Meetings and Activities," H.)
a. Does your Home faithfully counsel, pray, hear from the Lord and go to the Word for answers and direction in shepherding your JETTs and teens, so that your style of shepherding is in line with the New Wine?
b. When interacting with and shepherding your JETTs and teens‚ do your Home members treat them in a respectful and loving manner?
c. Do your JETTs and teens have biweekly talk times and/or weekly open forums as per the Charter guidelines (Required Meetings and Activities, H, I)?
*4. Invest time in their JETTs and teens so that their physical, emotional and spiritual needs are met. Homes should be aware of and help to develop the interests, talents and skills of their JETTs and teens, and strive to help them be happy‚ inspired, self-motivated, fulfilled and challenged—the goal being that they are not bored and neglected.
Finding the time to tune in to all of the above needs of your JETTs and teens, while keeping up with all the regular activities and responsibilities that you as a Home must attend to‚ can seem like an overwhelming and unattainable task, and perhaps you are wondering where to start. But if you are feeling this way, take a moment to step outside of the present and focus on the bigger picture, which is the future of our Family, and ask the Lord to help you realize the value of what you have in your hands. If invested in, in time your young people can become productive members of your Home (or any Home they may move to), playing an important part in your Home's ministries and work and becoming the prophets and prophetesses of the Endtime that will wreak havoc on the Enemy's kingdom!
When finalizing this particular criteria point, the Lord reminded us of the wonderful and specific counsel that was given in the renewal GN "Renewal: A JETT and Junior Teen Challenge." In paragraph 10 of this GN the Lord says, "If your JETTs and junior teens are to grow into dedicated disciples and Family members, then they need to receive input."
If someone were to come to your Home and ask you the following question, "Do you want your teens to grow into dedicated disciples and Family members?" you would undoubtedly answer, yes! If as a Home you are praying and seeking the Lord and doing your best to show the JETTs and teens what it means to be in the Family; if you are helping them to develop their skills and talents and are striving to keep them happy and challenged, then with time they will go on to become your teammates and comrades in arms‚ and as they grow up and mature, they will take their place in His Kingdom. We must look at every sacrifice now as an investment in the future.
You may have JETTs and teens in your Home who are generally good kids and don't cause trouble, or you may have those who are quite a handful, but please don't just limit yourself to only keeping them occupied, relatively content‚ and not bored nor left to themselves. Go further by actively investing in them now while you can, and do your best to pour into them, train them, and develop their skills and talents.
Word Basis:
(Jesus:) …I want to show the JETTs and junior teens what it means to be in the Family. I want them to experience the joy and highs that come from serving Me. I want to ignite the fire of revolution in their hearts. But I can't do this on My Own. I need you adults and senior teens to make it happen. You make it happen by helping the Word come alive to them like never before‚ by taking them out witnessing and soul winning so that they can gain a love for the lost, by helping them to search the Word for the answers to use when witnessing, by engaging in radical forms of witnessing, even if they're not your favorites. Parties and activities are fun and have their place, but if that's all the JETTs and junior teens get out of the renewal, then they will have missed some of the most important benefits.
If your JETTs and junior teens are to grow into dedicated disciples and Family members, then they need to receive input—not just fun activities and fellowships, but also life-changing experiences that are going to put them on the map of service to Me. They need to start being challenged to take on more responsibility, to grow into disciples.
(Mama:) [The JETTs and junior teens] need spiritual input and challenges, because many of them need to grow up, be cleansed, and learn what it means to be a disciple. But the other needs they have are very physical and practical, and must also be met—such as excitement‚ change, physical exertion, fun, witnessing adventures, recreation, and input. ("Renewal: A JETT and Junior Teen Challenge," ML #3492:9, 10, 15, GN 1077)
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(Jesus: ) Caring for teens takes time. It's not an easy task to inspire them, train them‚ shepherd them, and relate to them. You have to always be one step ahead of them and be there for them. A lot of folks don't want to take this time. The parents are busy and need them to help out in the Home‚ and many times people feel they don't have time to give them all they need and they just let them do whatever they want. But you have to make the time! It's not optional! If you want your teens to turn out well, you must invest the necessary time. There's no way around it. Being left to themselves continually is one of the worst things for teens, because idleness is the Devil's workshop.
If you want to relate to teens, take time for them‚ do things with them, think about them, teach them, train them, pray for them, hear from Me about them and for them and with them, love them‚ have fun with them, and be a sample of My joy of living to them! Pick them up when they fall, forgive them when they stumble, show faith that they can overcome, help them do so‚ and they will! ("Jewels on Junior Teens, Part 1," ML #3439:34-35, GN 1025)
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(Jesus:) Teens at this age [junior teens] need to have hobbies and things they enjoy doing in their time off. You can't expect them to just work all day and then go study or get in the Word at night. They need to have fun things to do, and their idea of what's fun varies from person to person. For one kid it might mean computer games, and you can find some that are decent enough and keep it in check. For others it might mean learning some skill, like how to play an instrument‚ or taking apart and fixing electronic gadgets. It might be videos, books, or games for others. If you're providing them with fun relaxation activities that they desire, of course they'll be more willing to play "give and take" when it comes to their work‚ school, behavior, and the things you expect of them. ("Jewels on Junior Teens, Part 1," ML #3439:45, GN 1025)
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(Jesus: ) My heart breaks as I see the state of many of My junior teens. So many of them are enclosed in a bubble‚ a bubble of protection, and they look out the windows of their confines and see the pleasures of this world, the excitement of the outside world, the lights and siren songs that call to them. They long for something more‚ they feel bored, but they see no freedom, no excitement where they are. They feel cooped up, confined, and restricted.
The reality of this picture, and the way I see it‚ is that they are living in a type of UFO or spaceship, a heavenly bubble of protection and love and peace, yet they don't know it. This UFO can fly to so many places and your junior teens could be doing so much that would thrill them and excite them, but they're not. The UFO is grounded, and most of the junior teens don't even know how high their UFO can fly. It's not the fault of the junior teens, but it's the fault of the shepherds, the parents, the older brothers and sisters‚ those who I have put in positions of responsibility, the drivers of these great UFOs—My Family Homes.
I look into the cockpit of the UFO, and there are folks milling around. There is a computerized flight book that details every destination imaginable, all of the locations this vehicle can travel to that the worldlings can never even experience or reach from their worldly plane, but no one is punching in the codes and making it happen. Nobody seems to notice the junior teens' discouragement, boredom, and dissatisfaction. Slowly they are walking out the door, one by one, to try to find some excitement and fun elsewhere. It seems to them that the world is the only place they see anything happening‚ so it hardly leaves them a choice.
This UFO vehicle—your Home—is made to go places and do things. It's a training facility for My disciples. Those in the cockpit are My parents and shepherds and bellwethers who I have instructed to fly this machine. But who is flying? Who is taking the junior teens where they want to go? Who is showing them the fun and enjoyment they can have serving Me? There are so many destinations—spirit trips, communication with spirit beings, cool witnessing adventures, inspiring and uplifting get-togethers and times of relaxation for them, fun sports events and games, ministry training possibilities, responsibilities that could make them feel needed, and so much more. But instead‚ so many of our Homes, just like this UFO I'm describing, are sitting still, not providing their youth with the excitement they desire and need.
The junior teens of yesterday are not the junior teens of today. My people—My junior teens—seek a new thing. They need more to keep them challenged, more to keep them busy, and I'm not just talking about jobs and chores. These are needed to keep your Homes running and operational, but junior teens need so much more. They need avenues to express themselves‚ avenues to let off steam, avenues to physically exert themselves and work up a sweat, avenues where they can have fun and enjoy themselves with others, avenues where they can experience the spirit world and the things of the spirit‚ avenues where they can really reach out to others and help change lives.
Someone in your Home needs to take the junior teens places. Someone in your Home—and it could very well be you—needs to get in the driver's seat and show the teens what living for the Lord is really all about. You need to start mapping out those cool destinations of excitement that will add fire and fervor to your Home‚ to your teens, to your young people! If you don't start doing something today, more will walk out the door, more will leave their calling and election, all because they were bored and dissatisfied, and because no one cared enough to show them the joy that can be found in serving Me. ("Raising Junior Teen Disciples," ML #3419:60-65‚ GN 1006)
(Note: Please be sure to read the next section in the above Letter, titled "Practical Ideas to Get You Started," for lots of good ideas of things you can do with your teens!)
a. Since your last Home review, has your Home or assigned members (i.e., parents/JT counselor/Steering Council) discussed and prayed about the physical‚ spiritual and/or emotional needs of your JETTs and teens?
b. If any decisions were made regarding your JETTs and teens, in order for your Home to fulfill the above criteria, were they enacted to the best of your Home's ability?
c. Is your Home investing sufficient time in your JETTs and teens, so they have the opportunity to develop their interests, talents and skills?
d. [info] Do you feel that the JETTs and teens in your Home are generally happy, inspired, self-motivated, fulfilled and challenged?
5. Ensure that the JETTs and junior teens are receiving age-appropriate sex education, and counsel and shepherding regarding dating.
Parent(s)/guardian(s) or shepherds should counsel and shepherd their senior teens in matters relating to dating and sexual relations. (See Charter for specifics regarding age guidelines for the JETTs and teens' dating and sexual interaction.)
Sex and relationships may seem like a sensitive subject—and a difficult one to start talking about with your adolescents—but it's not something that can be overlooked or put aside. Young people need someone who will give them a listening ear and can help them with the myriad of emotions and battles that come with maturing sexually, and to help them develop the right attitudes and mindsets about sex and relationships. They need godly counsel on this subject and need to know what the guidelines of the Charter are in regards to these matters. Otherwise they'll default to wrong mindsets through coming to their own conclusions about things, picking up the attitudes and mindsets of the world and talking amongst themselves about it. (See the Charter for specifics regarding age guidelines for the JETTs and teens' dating and sexual interaction.)
The JETTs and teens need physical sex education as well. They need to learn about their growth, development and physical changes, the process of pregnancy, etc., so they understand what's going on in their bodies. The older teens may act like they know all there is to know and don't need a "lecture" from you, and a lecture probably isn't what they need, but they do need communication, education‚ shepherding, and someone to be there to answer their questions.
Word Basis:
(Jesus:) When was the last time you had a talk with your JETT or junior teen son, when you talked specifically about the birds and the bees? When was the last time that you sat down with your daughter and gently, with love and understanding, tried to draw out those deep questions she may have concerning the issues of love, marriage, boyfriends and sex? All those questions are there, and there are lots of thoughts about such things in the minds of those this age.
You can't assume that because they live in the same house as you‚ they're going to catch things by osmosis, nor have a healthy outlook on love, marriage, sex and relationships. It just doesn't happen that way; it never has and it never will. You need to communicate with your children! ("Living the Lord's Law of Love, Part 12," ML #3212:29‚ 30, GN 864)
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(Mama:) Perhaps since sex has been so "hush-hush" in the Family for quite a few years now, and sex education classes have been sorely lacking, and System movies and videos have been the prime source of influence about attitudes toward sex‚ our young men have gotten a rather distorted idea of what godly sex should be like. It might be good to discuss what kind of concept movies portray of sex, and how it is contrary to the way the Lord wants us to look at sex and male-female relations. What is godly sex like? And what needs to accompany it, such as good manners‚ gentleness, tenderness, consideration and patience—not only in bed, but out of it as well. ("The Summit '96 Letters!—Part 3‚" ML #3079:123, Lifelines 23)
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(Mama:) One of the main points the Lord brought out when giving you 16– and 17-year-olds the freedom to share sexually was the need for you to have shepherding in this area of your lives. Many of you who have turned 16 since the Charter went into effect have mistakenly gotten the idea that once you become voting members, you no longer need to pay attention to the counsel of your parents or your shepherds. Many of you buck against it when either your parents or shepherds try to correct you, counsel you, or become involved in your personal lives. However, the Charter specifically commissions the [Home shepherds] to shepherd those in their Home. ("Living the Lord's Law of Love!—Pt.4‚" ML #3204:11, GN 807)
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(Mama:) People need shepherding, counsel, and prayer regarding sexual activities and relationships. Our young people who are just entering that phase of life really would benefit from having that input and shepherding. But even those who are more experienced could use at least the open line of communication and the extra prayer for that area of their lives.
It's a difficult topic to get involved in as a shepherd and requires real desperation and humility and wisdom on your part, but it's part of your responsibility and you can't shirk it. The Lord will help you and give you the anointing as you seek Him. ("Shooting Straight, Part 6," ML #3505:56‚ 60, GN 1094).
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Each parent or guardian of children in the Family is responsible to:
K. Properly counsel and guide their 16- and 17-year-old teenagers in matters regarding sexual activity. (See also Word Rules‚ D. page 261.)
L. Grant or deny their 16- and 17-year-old teens permission to engage in sexual intercourse. (For further details see Sex and Affection Rules, E. 1) page 277.)
(The Love Charter: "Responsibilities of Parents," K. L.)
E. For teens (16 and 17), sexual activity is permitted only with consenting partners ages 16 through 20.
F. For junior teens (14 and 15), dating with other teens ages 14 through 17 will be governed by the junior teens' parent(s) or legal guardian(s). However‚ sexual intercourse or skin to skin touching of genitals is not permitted either by or with those under the age of 16. Teens 14 and 15 are not permitted to date or have any sexual activity with anyone over the age of 17.
G. For those under the age of 14, dating is at the parents' discretion, but only nonsexual affection is allowed.
(The Love Charter: "Sex and Affection Rules," E. F. G)
(Note: To refresh your memory on this subject, please reread the explanations in the Charter, given for the above clauses, for very helpful counsel on this subject.)
a. Have your senior teens read (or are reading) the publications listed in the Charter (The Love Charter: "Word Rules," D.E.F.) and was time taken (or is being taken) with them by a parent/guardian or shepherd to answer any questions they had (or have)?
b. Are your senior teens adequately shepherded and counseled in matters regarding dating and sexual relations?
i. Has the issue of parental/guardian permission being needed before engaging in sexual intercourse been addressed with the senior teens in your Home? (The Love Charter: "Responsibilities of Parents‚" L.)
c. Are the JETTs and junior teens receiving age–appropriate sex education and being shepherded and counseled so that they understand the Charter clauses governing sex and affection and that there are consequences for their actions‚ both for themselves and others? (See Sex and Affection rules F and G in the Charter and Charter Amendments 2003, GN 1033).
*6. Shepherd their JETTs and teens in minimizing and resisting ungodly and worldly influences in conjunction with the counsel and guidelines given in the Word and the Charter, and be in agreement as a Home on these matters.
Minimizing and resisting ungodly and worldly influences is something we all know that as disciples we're supposed to do. The Word is very clear on it. We've all seen the good fruits in our lives and our young people's lives during the renewal when we set aside the things of the world.
In putting forth this criteria‚ we are not advocating a self-righteous attitude toward these issues, but neither do we want to compromise our convictions in these areas and allow our JETTs and teens to fall back into any bad habits along these lines that they had prior to the renewal. If we're doing what we can to make the JETTs' and teen's lives exciting and full of challenging activities, witnessing experiences, and helping them to develop their talents and skills, they won't be bored and want to fall back into using these System pastimes to fill up all their time.
Remember that it's important to uphold the standard that's in the Word, not your own personal standard or likes and dislikes. It's also important to come to an agreement as a Home on what your Home policies are for these things, so please do it with lots of love, prayer, communication, and most of all looking to the Lord and His Word for your direction.
By including this point in the criteria, we are not implying that all recreation or activities that may involve a worldly influence necessarily need to be forbidden. The standard of the Word makes it clear that there is a balance. The purpose of this criteria point is to encourage you to find this balance together as a Home and have a standard that mirrors the Word.
For lack of space we were unable to include Word on these specific topics here in this GN. However, these issues have been covered in the JT Handbook.
Word Basis:
(Mama: ) The guideline for what's right, also known as the standard, has already been decided. It's in the Word. It's not negotiable. You do not have the right to unite around some other standard‚ whatever you happen to think is better or more comfortable or seemingly more convenient or appropriate for your situation. ("Keep Fighting!—Conviction versus Compromise, Part 6," ML #3366:61, GN 969).
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(Mama: ) First, let's discuss more in depth what it means to "minimize and resist ungodly and unedifying influences in your life." The Charter membership contract and the Provisional Charter membership contract, which are based on the Love Charter, say that one of the responsibilities of those in the CM Family is the following:
A. Maintain a close connection with God through personal communion with Jesus, personal and united prayer and praise, personal and united reading of His Word (both the Bible and the Letters), Scripture memorization, and the minimizing and resisting of ungodly and unedifying influences in my life; thus exhibiting the fruits of the Holy Spirit, which are: "love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith‚ meekness and temperance."
(From WS Leadership: Since it is not fully spelled out in the above point, we wish to make it clear here that failure to minimize and resist ungodly and unedifying influences includes consistently reading unedifying or ungodly material, including pornographic material, in books, magazines or on the Internet; watching unedifying videos, movies or TV; playing unedifying computer games; sending ungodly e-mail; listening to ungodly music; using foul language or engaging in other activities deemed by the Family's governing bodies to be a reproach to the cause of Christ.)
"If you are unsure about whether something is unedifying, go to the Word, go to the Lord‚ counsel with your shepherds and be open to what the Word, the Lord and your shepherds say" ("Charter Responsibilities," ML #3197:61). If you wish to keep your Charter membership, then you are required to minimize these ungodly influences in your life.
As with all other individual Charter responsibilities, we want to make it clear that discerning whether you are minimizing and resisting unedifying and ungodly influences in your life will be determined by the agreement of any two of the Family's governing bodies—your Home‚ your area office‚ and your continental office—and not by you.
When you think of activities that can be ungodly and unedifying, the most common ones that come to mind are the ones listed in the above explanation. While these activities might be the most obvious ones that can be ungodly and unedifying influences in your life‚ they aren't the only ones. …. Peter and I expect that you will very carefully monitor the negative influences of the activities listed above‚ but we also want to alert you to some involvement with the System that is having a detrimental effect on many CM Family members at this time. These activities, when not handled well or when they're not the Lord's will, also fall under the category of ungodly and unedifying influences, which you should pray about and minimize. Here is a message from Dad with more details and explanation on this subject.
(Dad:) Exactly what is an "unedifying" or "ungodly" activity? That can be a pretty tough question to judge. Many people have different ideas or opinions on whether some particular activity is "unedifying" or "ungodly," and that difference of opinion can sometimes be a bone of contention between individuals, between parents and children, between Homes‚ or between shepherds and their flocks.
…You can't make a black-and-white list and say, "This is ungodly‚ but this isn't; this is unedifying, but this isn't." Well, you can with some things that are pretty black and white and spelled out in the Charter. Listening to poisonous music with devilish lyrics is obviously ungodly; there's no question about that. Or smoking dope. Or watching horribly violent, senseless movies. That's pretty clear and easy to recognize. But there are lots of other influences that can be ungodly and unedifying that you can't put down in black and white because so much depends on the people involved, the degree of involvement, the circumstances, the effect it has on them, the extent or frequency with which they partake of such activities, etc. So in cases where it's questionable, you can tell by the fruit.
…If it's bearing bad fruit, then it is ungodly and unedifying‚ and it should be stopped or minimized! "Wherefore by their fruits, you shall know them." It's the fruit you judge by! If the fruit is ungodly, then the tree—in this case, the activity—is ungodly.
So watch the fruit. Is it negative? Is it tearing people down spiritually? Then it's an ungodly and unedifying influence, and according to the Charter it should be minimized.
You can probably pow-wow within your own Home a list of things that could be ungodly or unedifying if done in the wrong spirit. Actually, a lot of things can be unedifying if not done in the right spirit or in moderation, so the main way to stay on the straight and narrow is just to stay in prayer and hear from the Lord and make sure that you're following Him!
Going out to follow up on sheep is a godly and edifying activity, but if you're really just going out to hang out with your System friends instead of witnessing to them, and if attending their parties and going out dancing with them is pulling you out of the Lord's service instead of pulling them closer to the Lord, then it's unedifying and ungodly. It's fine to go out and visit friends you're ministering to, and even do fun activities together sometimes, like have parties, play and relax together, etc. You don't want to come across like self-righteous church people.
But what you should be actively striving for is to teach them more about the Lord and how to give His love to others. If you're not doing that, and they're not getting closer, or if they're not hungry for the Lord and the truth, then you're wasting your time, because there are other people who need your time and attention who are hungry! So instead of that follow-up and involvement with System friends being an edifying influence or activity, it becomes an unedifying one. Do you understand? Do you see the difference?
Just remember, "By their fruits you shall know them!" That's the criteria you should go by for activities that are not obviously or always ungodly or unedifying‚ but which can be. ("More on 'The Shakeup 2000,'" ML #3262:15-19, 22-24, 32-38, GN 863)
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(Peter:) Our responsibility as Christians is to minimize the influences of the world as much as possible, not as least as possible. The Bible says, "Come out from among them‚ and be ye separate" (2Cor.6:17). That doesn't sound like just a little bit of minimizing, does it? Please, let's all make an effort to rid our lives of these negative influences and inroads of the Enemy!
It is very clear from the Word, both old and new, that some things are unedifying‚ and a steady diet of them is an ungodly influence. There have been a number of GNs that touched on movies, music, foul language, Internet usage and other aspects of worldliness, both specifically and generally, and that have clearly stated the Lord's views on them. Whether you realize it or not, regular intake of things of the world does have a detrimental effect on your spirit, and will affect your service for the Lord and loving interaction with others if it hasn't already—all the more so if you're not getting a steady diet of Word to counteract and cleanse you from the System input.
Since the Lord's counsel on these matters has been published in the Word, and since you as a Charter member are expected to read and believe the Word, it is expected that you'll accept what the Lord and we have to say about these things. Whether you personally feel that these affect you negatively or not, God's Word says they do, and as a Charter member you should avoid and minimize them in your life. ("Charter Responsibilities," ML #3197:64-66, GN 803).
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(Mama:) I've heard that some of you parents and teen shepherds have questioned whether you should be shepherding your young people. Somehow you have come to the mistaken conclusion that the Charter means that you're supposed to let them do what they want.
You parents cannot abdicate your responsibilities to shepherd your junior teens or JETTs or any of our young people. They still need your love, direction‚ inspiration, encouragement, instruction and correction.
If you want to know the rights of junior teens‚ read the Charter. You'll see that there is nothing in there that gives junior teens (or JETTs) the right to watch unrecommended television, play hours and hours of unedifying computer games, refuse correction from their elders, call their parents old bottles, etc.
I want to remind you that the Charter has not done away with shepherding, parenting, discipline and obedience! We still have shepherds‚ we still have parents, we still have discipline and obedience. Any of you parents who let your kids—of any age—get away with such behavior for any length of time are failing as parents and may eventually find that no one wants to live with you because you've allowed your kids to become rotten apples and teen terrors. "A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame" (Pro.29:15).
When you make decisions and pray about what to do, you need to take into consideration the applicable points in the Charter, but I would expect you to also use all the wisdom and training that you've received through years and years of studying the Word! The Charter gives you the general guidelines and principles by which to live, but you can't just throw out all the guidance and counsel in the Letters on a subject. For example‚ there are numerous Letters that talk about how to teach, train and discipline teens, the need to avoid the evil influences of the System, how to correct kids‚ as well as how to understand, challenge and inspire them. When you think about all that has been printed on these subjects, along with the guidance in the Charter, you'd think it would be fairly easy to … come to the right conclusion—that you can't let your teens just run wild! You'll have hell to pay if you do! ("Loving Shepherding and Interaction—Charter Style," ML #3018:4, 11-13, 33, Lifelines 22).
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(Mama:) Following is a potpourri of excerpts of personal messages that some of our dear folks in WS units have received on the topic of their personal System input, including reading, as well as movies, etc. Not every message can be applied across the board, but there are some good lessons in here that I think will benefit you and help you to see more clearly how the Lord views these things.
In some messages, the Lord is strongly urging the person to lay aside novel reading—or whatever form of System entertainment they're asking about—completely. Just because I'm publishing them for you‚ that doesn't mean that I or the Lord are asking you to give up everything. There's a time and a place for everything, as you'll see in some of the other messages where the Lord gives His permission for the person to read a book, or gives counsel on what types to read or guidelines on when. It's not that the Lord is against all these forms of recreation. But He does want our cooperation to minimize the ungodly influences in our lives, so that we can be as fruitful for Him as possible.
The key is to ask the Lord and be open to whatever counsel He wants to give you at the time. There will probably be times when He knows that you're not strong enough to engage in a certain activity without being affected or weakened by it. At those times‚ it's very important that you're yielded and open enough to receive that message and obey it. At other times, He'll give His permission, probably with some guidelines to follow, which also grants you His protection as you obey.
The Lord is so sweet. He doesn't forbid us from doing these things that are enjoyable, but He gives us plenty of good counsel and guidelines so that if we abide by them, we won't hurt ourselves or the work by being weakened and drawn away spiritually. ("Issues, Part 14—Novel Reading," ML #3442:62-64, 160, GN 1026).
a. Does your Home have an agreed upon, Word-based standard in order to minimize and resist any of the ungodly influences in the following:
(Note: whether or not you have access to or engage in any of the following regularly, it's still important to have a standard on these issues, as your JETTs and teens at some point will, in all likelihood, come into contact with each of these and need to know how to deal with any of the ungodly influences in them according to the standard of the Word.)
Listening to non-Family music
Internet surfing
Chatting/e-mail
Computer games
Movie watching
TV viewing
Reading non-Family material
Negative interaction with non-Family or former member young people, such as at parties, during sports‚ or hanging out at malls, etc.
b. Are your JETTs and teens receiving shepherding in accordance with the counsel and guidelines in the Word regarding minimizing and resisting any ungodly and worldly influences in such things as:
Listening to non-Family music
Internet surfing
Chatting/e-mail
Computer games
Movie watching
TV viewing
Reading non–Family material
Negative interaction with non-Family or former member young people, such as at parties‚ during sports, or hanging out at malls, etc.
*7. Ensure that parents/guardians or shepherds have prayerfully read and explained the Provisional Family disciple contract with those turning 16 and that the teen has made a decision, within three months of turning 16, as to whether they will sign the Provisional Family disciple contract.
A. If the 16- and 17-year-olds have signed the Provisional Family disciple contract, the Home must fulfill its responsibility to shepherd its senior teens and ensure that the senior teens abide by the guidelines therein.
B. If those turning 16 decide not to sign the Provisional Family disciple contract, then the parents must take the necessary steps regarding the teen's future outside the FD Family as per the guidelines in the Provisional Family disciple contract.
A few years ago when the "Shakeup" GNs were written, the Provisional Charter member contract (now called the Provisional Family disciple contract) was introduced and our senior teens, 16 years or older, were asked to prayerfully read it and sign it if they wished to remain Charter members. Subsequent teens were meant to sign it upon turning 16 in order to affirm their desire to grow into Family discipleship.
Over the years, however, it seems this is something that many have forgotten to take the time to do, or perhaps have even wondered if it's still necessary. We'd like to make it clear that it is still very important to read through this contract with your young people and help them understand what it means to sign it, and also to help them prayerfully make the decisions they need to make about their future. Your senior teens need to know what the Provisional Family disciple contract contains and what it is requiring of them, and if they sign they need to be shepherded and held to it.
Turning 16 is a very important time in the lives of our teens‚ and we want to be sure they don't just pass through this turning point without getting the attention and input they need. Senior teens should have read the Provisional Family disciple contract and prayerfully discussed it with a parent or shepherd within 3 months of turning 16. While we don't want them to feel rushed in making their decision, in reality they should be prepared well in advance of turning 16 for the decision they need to make and be able to sign or not sign by the time they turn 16 and become voting members.
When asking the Lord to give any updated information on this subject and to clarify how the parents and Homes should handle 16-year-olds who decide not to sign the contract, He said:
(Jesus:) The need for your senior teens to sign the Provisional Family disciple contract is still as important today as when "Shakeup 2000" came out. The Family is getting back to the basics of what real discipleship is all about‚ and the requirements that your senior teens are agreeing to uphold when they sign the provisional contract are key requirements to learning to live the discipleship life. None of that has changed over the years. All the counsel in those Letters is still as applicable today as ever.
Just because that Letter was written a number of years ago doesn't mean it's not still important. Let Me ask you something: Is the Charter still important? Are the responsibilities of the individual still important today? I think you all know the answer to that. Of course! They are absolutely necessary for Family discipleship! And if you take a look at the Provisional Family disciple contract, you'll see that practically all of it is taken from those responsibilities—because those form the basis of discipleship.
So now that we've established that the Provisional Family disciple contract is important, this is something that you parents and shepherds can't let slide. You've got to be thinking ahead and preparing your teens with the Word, counsel and input so that when they turn 16 and the time comes for them to make the decision‚ they will fully understand what it means and will be able to make a knowledgeable decision.
I don't want this to just be a routine thing in their lives, because it's not. The Provisional Family disciple contract is not something that they can just glance over once and sign just to get it over and done with. It's a declaration of their intent to follow the Charter responsibilities of voting members. And though what I have said about giving some leeway to the senior teens in this time of decision still applies, the provisional contract and the standard therein is still going to have to be lived by them, and they need to be shepherded and required to uphold it. It's all there in My Word—and it hasn't changed.
Turning 16 and becoming a voting member of the Family is an important event in the lives of your teens, and you shouldn't wait too long after their 16th birthday to have them come to a decision about signing the provisional contract. You want them to be fully aware of what it's asking of them and you want to have time to go over it with them and prayerfully explain it to them, but it shouldn't drag on. When "The Shakeup" first came out, I gave one month for all the senior teens to sign the contract. However, because there are times when a little more time than that is needed, I am now allowing it to be extended to three months to give them the extra time to study the material with a parent or shepherd, and to make a prayerful decision.
If after taking the time to read the material, talk with a parent or shepherd about it, and pray and think about their decision, a senior teen decides that he or she does not want to serve Me in the FD Family, they can choose to become a Missionary or Fellow member (provided they agree to live by the MM or FM Statutes respectively) or they can decide not to remain in the Family at all. In either of these scenarios, their parents will need to take responsibility in helping them get set up outside the FD Family according to the options available to them in the Charter and as I lead.
This is all in My Word and has been covered before. It may be difficult for some of you parents to come to grips with a decision of this nature by your senior teen. It could bring about big changes for your family if one or both of you decide to move to Missionary member status in order to help them, but remember that all things do work together for good, and even this investment in setting up your senior teens outside of the Family will bear fruit in their lives and show My love and concern for them. And always remember My promise that if you train up your child in the way that he or she should go, when they are old they will not depart from it. That's My guarantee to you. You do your part, and although it may be a long time coming, you will see the fruits of your faithfulness to pour into your children. (End of message.)
Word Basis:
(Note: Some changes have been made [in brackets] to some of the quotes in this section‚ in order to update them to current terms and Charter amendments.)
(Mama: ) … You senior teens are voting members, and many of you carry a very big load in the Home in which you live. Many of you are dedicated to the Lord and the Family, but Peter and I were not sure if you should be required to make the same commitment as those who are 18 and over.
When we sought the Lord about it‚ He made it clear that a commitment will be required of you, but it will be slightly different, in order to accommodate the different levels of commitment and dedication that are present amongst you senior teens. He is asking you to sign the Provisional [Family disciple] contract. ... I suggest you [seek the Lord and discuss] any questions you have with your shepherds or parents. ("The Shakeup 2000—the S2K," ML #3257:127, 128, GN 857)
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(Mama:) All who sign the Provisional [Family disciple] contract will be expected to uphold, to the best of their ability, the standard presented therein. We understand that you senior teens are maturing and learning‚ and it takes time to grow spiritually. The Lord, Peter and I are willing to give you some space as you make your personal decisions regarding what you will believe or not believe. We understand that there are commitments that must be made just between you and the Lord, and we're not rushing you. You're not expected to be perfect, or to have a complete overnight change, but there must be a willingness to live in unity with others regarding your behavior. If you go overboard in something or get involved with things that hurt you or others spiritually‚ you will be shepherded. Mercy and grace will be shown, as long as you try to progress and to act in such a way that limits any negative influence you might have on others or your Home and the work.
You senior teens should be trying to uphold the [Family disciple] standard. If you don't want to try, then you shouldn't be in a [FD] Home. If you do want to try, you will be given mercy and grace, as you approach 18 and prepare to make your decision of whether to sign the full contract or not. But our [FD] Homes are not the place for those of you who don't want to even try.
You senior teens who have already determined that you don't want to serve the Lord in the [FD] Family should make that known at this time. If you know for sure that you don't want to be a missionary in the [FD] Family, then you should say so. You must also realize that your parents might have to ... move out of their [FD] Home and open their own [MM or FM] Home … in order to take care of you, should you choose to not stay in the [FD] Family. Your parents may also seek permission from their Home for you to remain in the Home as a non-Charter member [following the guidelines in the updated Charter regarding this], though the Home is under no obligation to grant this.
These are important decisions, and I expect you senior teens to pray very desperately about them, and if you choose to sign the Provisional [FD] contract, it is with the understanding that you will do all you can to be strengthened in your weak areas. ("The Shakeup 2000—the S2K," ML #3257:151, 156-158‚ GN 857).
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(Jesus:) If you [teens turning 16 years old] feel you cannot make the commitment to sign the Provisional [Family disciple] contract, you are free to become a [Missionary member or Fellow member], or you can leave the Family (if your parents allow you to and can make arrangements for you). If you do sign the contract and then you consistently do not fulfill the requirements put forth in that contract, or you consistently disregard or disobey the regulations and guidelines decided on by your Home, or if you are a negative, divisive, or destructive influence in your Home, you will be disciplined. Your shepherds and parents will try to help you and discipline you, according to the guidelines of the Charter‚ but if you do not improve your behavior‚ then you will be recommended for [Missionary member or Fellow member] status.
If two of the three governing bodies of the Family (your Home‚ the VSs and/or the [COs]) agree with the recommendation for your reclassification, then various options are open to you: If you're living with your parents, they will either have to decide to move to [MM or FM] status so you can continue to live with them as a [Missionary member, Fellow member or non-Family member]; or they can seek the permission of their Home for you to live with them as a [non–Family disciple according to the allowances in the updated Charter]; …or they can find a suitable place for you to live outside of a Family Home. If you're not living with your parents at the time it is deemed you should not be in the [FD] Family, you'll be returned to them at the earliest possible opportunity, at which time they will be faced with the same options listed above.
If you're not sure whether you want to commit to full-time discipleship, you can wait until you're 18 to decide. But while you're living in a [Family discipleship] Home, you must abide by the regulations of that Home. Each [FD] Home is to agree together on such things as movies, computer games, novels, etc., and you must abide by those regulations while you are living in the Home. If you are not sure that you want to commit 100% to being in the Family‚ you can still sign the Provisional [Family disciple] contract. However, in signing you're agreeing to live by the [FD] standard as put forth in the contract, and by the regulations of whatever Home you reside in. ("The Shakeup 2000—the S2K," ML #3257:140-142, GN 857).
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(Mama:) The provisional contract is to allow the 16- and 17-year-olds to move through the decision–making period with shepherding (emphasis on with shepherding), so they can mature so that when they're 18 they can sign the CM [FD] contract with full faith and understanding. It does not mean that the years of 16 and 17 are the years when they can just go to pot in the spirit, with the hope that when they're 18 they'll get serious about serving the Lord! It allows them some room to learn without being disciplined as quickly as someone 18 or over, in that they wouldn't necessarily get put on [Home censure] the first time they do something, whereas you might put an 18- or 20- or 40-year-old on [Home censure] without hesitation for doing the same thing. It's a time to understand that these young people are making decisions, but it's not a time to let them just go their own way and be junked out in the spirit. They have to be shepherded! ("More on 'The Shakeup 2000,'" ML #3262:115‚ GN 863).
a. [info] Have any teens in your Home turned 16 since the last Home review?
i. Have their parents or shepherds prayerfully explained and read the Provisional Family disciple contract with them?
ii. [info] Have any of them (who are 16 and three months, or older) decided not to sign the Provisional Family disciple contract?
b. Is your Home shepherding the senior teens who have signed the Provisional Family disciple contract and requiring them to uphold it?
*8. Be diligent to know the state of their JETTs and teens. When spiritual or behavioral problems are discovered, the Home should take steps to remedy the situation and help their JETTs and teens overcome through the Word, prayer, hearing from the Lord, shepherding, appropriate discipline, personal time, and seeking counsel when necessary.
The first question under this point asks if you are doing your utmost to be aware of any spiritual or behavioral problems with your JETTs and/or teens. It is worded this way because we realize that it can be very difficult to know everything that's going on in the minds and hearts of our JETTs and teens. However, it is important that as parents and shepherds you do all that you can to dig a little deeper into their spiritual lives by asking them questions, having talk times, being concerned and showing interest in them and what they're going through, and asking the Lord to help you be in tune with any signs of problems that may crop up, so that you can help them through their rough times.
The Enemy can attack our JETTs and teens with any number of spiritual problems‚ including anorexia/bulimia, a fascination for the dark side, depression, worldliness, wrong attitudes, and many more things. So it's important to not just look on the surface but to really try to find out what's going on in our JETTs and teens' hearts so we can help them grow into the strong disciples of the End that they are destined to be.
Word Basis:
(Mama: ) Besides the common problems that all children experience‚ most children are bound to have special problems, individual fears and individual worries at some time.—And taking personal time with them is the only way that I know of to let the kids really unburden their hearts‚ and for you to see where they're at so you can effectively address their problems. How else can you do that, but by spending time with them? If you're going to get good results with your children and really help them get over their problems, you're simply going to have to make such time with them.... All children need somebody special to be close to and occasions upon which they can pour out their hearts to someone who will patiently hear them out ("Applying the Techi Series," ML #2631:10, 26‚ Lifelines 19).
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(Dad:) I've told you before how the Enemy is fighting [our young people] so hard because they're the hope of the future, so that's yet another reason why they're having more of the Enemy's junk thrown at them. Consequently, they're bound to fall and make the wrong choices from time to time, and some do so fairly often until they commit themselves or have a few sobering experiences themselves. If they're not willing to learn from the mistakes and experiences of others—which oftentimes young people are not particularly keen on—then they have to go through the school of hard knocks themselves‚ or at least a grade or two. Some get the point quicker than others.
Please have patience with them, though! Some just take longer than others to come around. Ask the Lord for a look inside their heart, to see if their heart is generally in the right place or not. If so, then pray and love them through. It's your responsibility as parents and shepherds to know the state of your flock. You don't want to be entertaining the Enemy in your midst, so you have to be able to discern the difference—whether it's simply the Enemy attacking, or a teenage phase your son or daughter or another young person is going through, or whether they're purposely making wrong choices and are headed out, and are just contaminating and polluting others in the process.
How can you know the state of your flocks? By asking the Lord, of course! What may look to you like a rotten apple could just be a desperately needy young person who's hoping for some shepherding and help. With a little love, prayer and determination‚ they could have a turnaround and you could find yourself with a solid and committed disciple on your hands. It's happened before, folks! Don't fail any of these young people by neglecting to hear the Lord's voice and receive His instruction for them personally. Amen? ("Hold On to the Reins," ML #3239:81-83, GN 841).
Note: You may want to have only the parents or guardians, JT counselors and Home shepherds discuss and fill out the following questions. However, the whole Home must see the answers given.
a. Are you doing your utmost to be aware of any spiritual or behavioral problems in any of your JETTs/teens?
i. If you are aware of any problems‚ have you as a parent/guardian or shepherd done, or are you doing, any of the following?:
Note: It is not required that you be doing all of these things when shepherding spiritual or behavioral problems in your JETTs or teens. Some of the following may not be warranted in each situation. However, you should be doing a fair few of these if you are truly going to help your JETT or teen overcome a serious attack of the Enemy and gain victories.
*Read the Word on the subject, prayed and counseled together in order to get direction from the Lord and the Word on how to help the JETT or teen
*Given reading assignments or had Word classes with them on the subject(s)
*Given suggested questions to ask the Lord about
*Given prophecies of instruction and/or encouragement
*Had additional personal time if needed
*Taken steps to address any situations that may be contributing to the problem
*Had personal or united prayer together
*Given loving correction‚ or when warranted, appropriate discipline
*Sought counsel from JT or VS boards if needed
*Taken the time to follow up on their Word and other assignments to help them hold on to their victories
*1. Teach their JETTs and teens to live in accordance with the discipleship standard in the Word and the "Responsibilities of Individual Members" as outlined in the Charter. The Home is responsible to instill in their JETTs and teens character-building qualities such as love for the Lord and the Word, respect, honesty‚ godly speech, responsibility‚ personal accountability, stewardship, faithfulness‚ diligence, obedience, gratitude, etc.
While praying about this topic and the need to address it in the criteria, the Lord said, "Even the 'good, Christian parents' in the world teach their children and young people good morals and conduct as is listed above in this point. How much more should it be expected of My Family, who I have poured so much Word and counsel upon in this respect, who are supposed to be head and shoulders above all of those in the world, who I have called to be My elite.
"Many of My Family parents have gotten slack and compromised in this way. It takes conviction, diligence, faithfulness, and a lot of plain hard work to train up your young people. I will help parents rise to this challenge if they will call on the keys and be determined to follow My Word and teach and train their young ones to do the same.
"It is a duty that I have given to all parents to train up a child in the way which he or she should go. It can be a challenge, but I never said that parenting or shepherding is easy‚ especially with young people, but I did say it must be done."
Word Basis:
Each parent or guardian of children in the Family is responsible to:
A. Raise their children in a godly manner according to the spirit of the "Charter of Responsibilities and Rights" and as outlined in the "Fundamental Family Rules," and to give them knowledge of God through His Word. (The Love Charter: "Responsibilities of Parents," A.)
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Children under the age of 16 are legally under the jurisdiction of their parent(s) or guardian(s), and it is the right and responsibility of the parent(s) or guardian(s) to require their child to abide by the Charter. (The Love Charter: "Rights of Parents," C.)
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(Peter: ) …You are to refrain from activities or behavior that would be a reproach to the cause of Christ, or reflect negatively on the Family. If you engage in activities which are not in accordance with the Charter, if you act in a manner that isn't Christlike, if you are a reproach to your Home or to the Family at large‚ you are not fulfilling your responsibility as a Charter member.
Dealing deceptively with each other or outsiders, stealing, shoplifting and getting drunk are examples of unchristian activities and certainly are a reproach to the cause of Christ and to the Family. Using foul or unacceptable language, or having a dirty, slovenly or unkempt appearance reflects negatively on the Family‚ as does going out dressed in a manner that is not acceptable in the country in which you're living. If you want to be a Charter member, then you need to be a positive reflection of the Family instead of a negative one.
As a Family member, you represent the Family to others. If you're disrespectful to outsiders or if you act in an ungodly manner‚ people will take what you do as a representation of our entire Family. Their impression of the whole Family—and in some cases, of Jesus and of Christianity—can be spoiled because of you and your bad sample.
If you are being a reproach to the Lord or the Family, then you need to shape up in spirit and deed or ship out! If you act in an un-Christlike, or un-Family manner on a regular basis, then why be part of the Family? If you act‚ talk, dress and conduct yourself just like the world, then perhaps the world is where you belong.
We have a standard to uphold as Christians and Family members. We do have rules‚ regulations, and responsibilities that every Charter member is expected to adhere to and obey. You're here of your own choice, and if you believe this is where the Lord has called you and wants you to be, you should live up to your Charter membership requirements. You're a Christian, so act like one! You're a Charter member, so act like one! That's your responsibility; it's expected of you. The Lord expects it, and we do as well! ("Charter Responsibilities," ML #3197:134-138‚ GN 803).
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(Talking about senior teens, but applicable counsel for JETTs and junior teens as well)
(Mama: ) To make lots of mistakes in a variety of areas and to have bad moods and bad days is to be expected with teens, because they're learning‚ maturing, and having to deal with all kinds of emotions. It's a difficult age for all young people, but especially for our Family teens who the Enemy attacks and tries to derail even more than the teens of the world.
You should be understanding and help them along, and discipline them when needed according to the Charter. But when they make the same mistakes over and over, or are obviously rebellious to your counsel and the Word and Charter standard, or when their bad attitudes are long-lasting and affecting others negatively, that cannot be tolerated. If you've tried to shepherd them and help them, but they continue in the same sins or they lead others into the same wrongdoing, then that's where you must draw the line.
[The Lord said:] "...Leeway should be given for mistakes, if they respond to correction for those mistakes with fruits meet for repentance. Leeway should also be given for bad attitudes or lack of faith, provided they keep these to themselves. But leeway should not be given for repeated deliberate transgressions, for open rebelliousness, for causing harm to others, or for being a reproach to My work." ("More on 'The Shakeup 2000,'" ML #3262:111‚ 112, 114, GN 863).
a. Are you teaching and training your JETTs and teens to understand and live the character-building qualities listed above through Word classes, shepherding, personal talk and prayer times, as well as through the personal sample of the Home members to help them learn to live in accordance with the discipleship standard in the Word and the "Responsibilities of Individual Members" as outlined in the Charter?
b. [info] How would you describe the general conduct and behavior of the JETTs and teens in your Home?
c. [info] Since your last Home review have any of your JETTs and teens been in trouble with the law or been involved in illicit activities (i.e., shoplifting, drinking‚ smoking, physical violence, or substance abuse?)
i. Was the incident shepherded, rectified, and if necessary was additional counsel sought from the JT board (and the shepherding desk in the case of a Charter infraction)?
2. Require their JETTs and teens to uphold the standard in the Word in regards to cleanliness, dress‚ and deportment so as to be a positive reflection of the Family.
If there are questions or controversies in the Home in regards to these matters‚ the Home must discuss the matters and agree on a united standard concerning them in accordance with the counsel in the Word.
Deportment is defined as: the way a person behaves toward other people. Synonyms are: manner, demeanor‚ behavior.
When you as a Home discuss this aspect of the lives of your JETTs and teens, it's good to keep in mind that the most important thing is their attitude of heart. Having said that, it is also very important that parents/shepherds and Home members train and shepherd their young people by helping them to have a good standard in these areas so as to be a positive reflection of the Family. This standard includes not only the way they dress or look, but also the way they present themselves. Are they well–mannered, polite and respectful?
Our sample, the way people view us, can affect whether or not people will receive the message that we are giving them. How we look and conduct ourselves can make a difference in whether they choose to partake of and/or join our fellowship.
Another very important aspect to keep in mind in regards to the dress and deportment of our JETTs and teens is the aspect of cleanliness. Regardless of the styles and dress codes that you as a Home agree upon for your JETTs and teens, all should understand that cleanliness and being well groomed is important if they are going to be the sample missionaries that the Lord wants them to be. (See Word on this in: Witnessing E.2 of the JT criteria.)
Perhaps the most difficult aspect in regards to implementing this criteria, and the greatest challenge that our Homes encounter when trying to come up with a united standard together with their JETTs and teens in this regard, is the aspect of learning how to communicate about these issues. This topic can be a very sensitive and personal one for both the JETTs and teens as well as the adults. The Enemy will try to use differences on small details to derail your communication and unity and prevent you from building a good relationship with your JETTs and teens. It takes a lot of love, prayer‚ hearing from the Lord, and honest communication to find the Lord's solutions together.
Word Basis:
T. Refrain from activities or behavior that would be a reproach to the cause of Christ and/or reflect negatively on the Family.
Each of us should be a good example of a Christian and of a Family member, for our sample speaks much louder than our sermon. As much as possible, our actions should lift up Jesus, and none of them should defame or blemish either the Lord or the Family.
In different areas of the world, this could mean refraining from different things. Wherever we live, we must take into account the traditions and culture of the community or country and try not to do things that would offend individuals of that culture. This is part of trying to comply with the Biblical counsel to "become all things to all men" (1Corinthians 9:22). (The Love Charter: "Responsibilities of Individual Members," T.)
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(Mama: ) The Lord also talks about the importance of the younger and the older generations communicating on the issue of dress and appearance. From what we've heard, in a number of Homes outward appearance has been a very divisive issue, leading to a breakdown in communication between adults and young people; making them unable to calmly and openly discuss and reach agreements on much more important issues and decisions. However, if you listen to each other, try to accommodate each other, and counsel and decide together on what would be best‚ then this issue can actually bring you together and help unite you—as loving, open communication always does.
You adults need to be tolerant and learn to accommodate our young people's individuality and desire to do things differently than you do. Let them be teens! What should be of primary concern is not how they look, but their attitude of heart.
For your part, you teens need to be mindful of the sample that you are both to your younger brothers and sisters as well as to your outside friends and contacts and those that you witness to. You also need to be mindful of the influence that these things have on you, and your motives for wanting to do them.
As you adults take your teens' needs and individual personalities into consideration, and you young people take your parents' and shepherds' concerns into consideration, you'll have a much better chance of reaching a solution that is agreeable to all. This issue is something that the Enemy will use to try to divide and conquer and drive a wedge between the generations. But the Lord can reverse that and use it to bring you closer together, if you strive to maintain unity and have a good channel of communication between yourselves, seeking the Lord together and being open and accepting of each other's differences of taste and opinion. ("Man Looketh on the Outward Appearance‚ Part 1," ML #3124:18-21, Lifelines 24)
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(Jesus: ) You don't usually have the extremely poor over to your house for Bible classes and Activated meetings, do you? The people who are labor leaders, who have potential to really go somewhere for Me and become teachers and preachers, teaching others and spreading the message, are usually going to be those who will appreciate and respect a higher standard. If you are ill-mannered and lack a vision for your life or work, if your children are rude and dirty; you live in shabby, unkempt‚ run–down Homes, you're going to turn off and turn away those who need you, and who you need in order to reach your country. ("Reach the Rich," ML #3400:61, GN 992)
a. Is your JETT and teen's conduct a good Christian sample and testimony and a positive reflection on the Family?
b. Is their appearance and clothing in accordance with the counsel in the Word and the Charter and acceptable in your field, and therefore a good sample of a Family member?
c. If the JETTs and teens in your Home have any weaknesses in these areas (see questions a. and b.), have you taken steps to strengthen them and to find solutions?
(Note: These discipline guidelines are for JETTs and junior teens. Senior teens must abide by the Provisional Family disciple contract and should be disciplined according to the Charter guidelines for voting members.)
1. Have a united disciplinary standard for the JETTs and junior teens that has been prayed about and agreed upon by the voting members of the Home in accordance with the Word and the "Family Discipline Guidelines." This Home disciplinary standard should be explained to and discussed with the JETTs and junior teens. It should be documented, easily accessible, and reviewed periodically.
Since we live communally and we all play a part in the lives of our JETTs and teens, it is necessary that the discipline be administered according to a united disciplinary standard. The disciplinary standard should be discussed with the JETTs and junior teens, allowing them to participate in the process as much as possible.
Word Basis:
Each parent or guardian of children in the Family is responsible to:
H. Discipline their children according to the standard agreed upon by the voting members of the Home in which they reside‚ providing it is in accordance with the Child Discipline Rules on page 247 in the "Fundamental Family Rules" and more fully expounded in "Family Discipline Guidelines" (ML #2919). Take appropriate action in disciplining their children whose behavior has become a reproach to the cause of Christ and/or reflects negatively on the Family.
(The Love Charter: "Responsibilities of Parents," H.)
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(Jesus:) You need to be in unity with those you live with to properly discipline your children. ("Solutions for Shepherds, Parents and Everyone," ML #3389:97, GN 985).
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(Dad:) Not only the adults should agree to the rules‚ but you should give the kids some say-so too. Let them make their own rules within reason and decide what punishment they think they deserve if they disobey. But remember, kids are normally harder on themselves than you would be. Give the children a chance to speak up too, let them learn to help make decisions.
So get together, decide what behavior and house rules need to be made, agree upon them, and then enforce them. The main key is to get everyone in the Home together on it, make the rules together and agree together‚ because it's very hard to live together and have your children grow up in harmony if everyone doesn't train and discipline the children in the same way. You should be able to get together, agree to some guidelines according to the Letters, and be consistent! ("Rules Are to Be Obeyed," ML #1707:7, 21, GN Book 18).
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(Jesus: ) While the raising of children, which includes discipline, is the responsibility of the parents, because of the communal lifestyle that I have asked you to live, you are "one wife"; thus the children of one couple or parent, though still the main responsibility of these ones, are also the responsibility of all. The Home should discuss together its discipline standard so that those in the Home other than the parents are aware of how to discipline the children in accordance with the guidelines set. ("Are You a Delinquent Parent?" ML #3388:151, GN 984)
a. Does your Home have a Word-based united disciplinary standard for the JETTs and junior teens?
b. Have you discussed with and explained this standard to the JETTs and junior teens?
c. Is the discipline standard current, documented, clearly defined and reviewed periodically?
*2. Ensure that all members uphold, and those that are designated (the JETTs or junior teens' parents, guardians or shepherds), enforce the Word–based disciplinary guidelines that have been agreed upon by the Home in accordance with the Charter.
It's important that all Home members support and uphold the disciplinary guidelines that you as a Home [should] have agreed upon. However, it would be very discouraging for the JETTs and junior teens if every single voting member of your Home felt they themselves had to enforce your Home's disciplinary guidelines with your JETTs and teens.
Because of this, we have worded this clause to say "those that are designated (i.e., the JETTs or junior teens' parents, guardians or shepherds), enforce the disciplinary guidelines." That's not to say that other Home voting members should do nothing or cannot correct and admonish your JETTs and teens if they are contravening the guidelines your Home has set, only that infractions of the discipline standard should in most cases be reported to those that are responsible for the JETTs and teens to administer discipline as needed.
Word Basis:
(Jesus:) Every teenager and young person needs discipline. Everyone needs to go through times in their lives that help to make a "man" or "woman" out of them. Some people have those experiences come to them naturally, and some people have to put themselves into that situation, or be put into that situation by their parents or guardians. ("Renewal: A JETT and Junior Teen Challenge," ML #3492:79, GN 1077)
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(Jesus:) My plan for you is to live in unity, in harmony, speaking the same thing‚ joined in unity for the care of your children. Anything short of this is not in complete obedience to My will. I give you parents many others—shepherds, caregivers, helpers—who all have a part in helping you raise your children. All must be united in visions and goals. This includes supporting and backing up one another when it comes to the children's care, especially in front of the children themselves. It takes great love, faith, and humility to accept the safeguarding of others. It takes admitting you're wrong when necessary. It takes forsaking your own inclinations and ideas at times, when My Spirit is guiding differently.
Remember‚ I have set you in tribes. I have called you to unite together‚ to fight together, to do all things together, including your child-rearing.
This unity of spirit must be manifest in genuine action. If you are truly seeking to be united and acting upon it, it will show in your fruits. You will be united in your actions, in your handling of the children, in backing up one another in love and prayer, in forming a united front in your discipline standard, and in demonstrating to the children your oneness and unity.
As you strive to be united in spirit around My standard, all else will then fall into place. Then, together and united, as you seek Me for your children's care, I will lead and guide with more specifics, geared to each situation as it arises, and your children will benefit‚ grow, learn and prosper. Then and only then will they be truly happy and secure in My love and care. ("Are You a Delinquent Parent," ML #3388:170, 176–178, GN 984)
a. Is the disciplinary standard that has been agreed upon by your Home upheld and enforced?
1. Allocate the resources and personnel needed for the JETTs and junior teens in their Home to be given 2 hours of quality united and/or individual Word time and intercessory prayer vigil time daily.
A daily minimum of 1½ hours of Word time and 30 minutes of intercessory prayer vigil should be scheduled for senior teens.
Although JETTs and junior teens don't have a time requirement for their prayer vigil like voting members do, they do still need to have some prayer vigil time daily, either separate or included in their two hours of daily Word time.
Word Basis:
(Mama:) We all know that no matter how much we would like to do something, if we don't schedule it we usually don't do it! We have scheduled devotions, scheduled meals, scheduled get-out‚ scheduled nap time, scheduled prayer vigil, scheduled meetings—not because we want to regiment or make everything so "letter of the law," but just because human nature being what it is, if things are not scheduled they usually don't happen‚ or else they take place very sporadically or inefficiently. ("Affection Time With Jesus," ML #3013:5, Lifelines 22)
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C. Minimum schedule requirements for school-age children (except for family day):
3. Two hours Word daily (may be united, private or a combination).
a) On days when school-age children and teens go witnessing‚ only one hour of Word time is required.
(The Love Charter: "Scholastic and Schedule Rules," C.)
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Charter members must:
A. Spend a minimum of 1½ hours daily (or 10½ hours weekly) in quality study and communion with the Lord through the reading of His Word and other WS publications (private or united), praise time, or personal prayer and hearing from the Lord in prophecy.
Family members should have 1½ hours daily‚ or 10½ hours weekly, of quality Word, praise, personal prayer and hearing from the Lord, as outlined in "What Is Jesus Worth to You?" (ML #3433, GN 1016). This is not the recommended amount of personal time with the Lord; it is the minimum and it should be quality time. As the Lord exhorts us in this same Letter: "The one-and–a-half-hours in the Word should be quality time. What is quality time? That is to be determined by the conscience of the individual. The onus is on the individual to determine what is 'quality.' The key is in quality‚ deep, feeding Word time. It's not in just putting in the hours. The point is to be fed, trained, and inspired!"
Generally speaking, the following things would usually count toward the minimum one-and-a-half hours of quality Word time:
*Feeding study time, either privately or with others.
*Personal prophecy time, but not work-related prophecies.
*Memorization and review.
*Occasional meaningful discussions about the application of the Word.
*Some classes you teach others, provided they are feeding for you personally.
*Devotions with JETTs and teens, especially if you read the New Wine.
*Praise time.
*Loving Jesus intimately.
("Charter Amendments 2003, 'Word Requirements'")
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Charter members must:
B. Spend a minimum of 30 minutes daily in intercessory prayer.
The Lord said‚ "I want to institute a new Charter requirement of 30 minutes of intercessory prayer each day. This should be each person's prayer vigil time. This is time you spend working for others, pouring out in spirit. This is not time in which you are feeding your own spirit. While intercessory prayer is edifying and inspiring, and you do come away from such prayer time feeling that you accomplished a lot and having a sense of peace, it's not time when you're feeding your own spirit or being trained in the Word and in My ways. So this time should be set apart from the Word requirement" (ML #3433:236). This intercessory prayer time for others is not to be counted as part of the 1½-hour minimum daily Word requirement.
("Charter Amendments 2003, 'Word Requirements'")
a. Do your JETTs and junior teens have 2 hours of individual or united Word time daily?
b. Do your senior teens have a minimum 1½ hours of Word time daily following the guidelines in "What Is Jesus Worth to You"?
c. Does your Home's schedule allot time for personal or united intercessory prayer vigil for your JETTs and teens?
2. Provide the opportunity for the JETTs and teens to follow the current JT Word Course and the memorization program contained therein.
There must be a plan for the 15-year-olds to read the Charter-required reading lists for their age found in the JT Word Course.
The JT Word Course (the updated version of which can be found on the MO site under "Pubs/Word Curriculum") was created with the vision to help give a good foundation in the Word to our JETTs and teens and to provide them with a ready-made reading list, compiled from pubs created for them on a variety of topics. While the Word Course doesn't exclusively provide all of the necessary Word input for our JETTs and teens' quality Word time, it offers a well–balanced Word diet and contains Word that covers a variety of subjects and topics that are important and vital in helping the JETTs and teens build a good foundation in the Word. So they should be allotted time to work through it on a regular basis, either individually or in a group setting. Portions of the Word Course may also be used as the basis for Word studies and united Word times.
Memorization is an important requirement for all disciples and should be part of the JETTs and teens' daily Word time. It's important that our JETTs and teens have their faith grounded in the Scriptures, and the memorization program contained in the Word course should be their first priority when it comes to memorization.
However, since the Lord has also commissioned us to memorize the key promises as part of our spiritual arsenal, we would recommend that you include the key promises as a regular part of the memorization plan for JETTs and teens.
The Charter-required reading lists for teens who are turning 16 found in the Word Course are very important because they prepare the teens to be voting members and provide them with an understanding of the responsibility and rights they will have at that time. If they are going to be solid voting members and uphold the Provisional Family disciple contract, they must be well informed and prepared, and the reading list is designed to do just that.
When teens turn 16, the Charter also opens up to them the realm of sexual relations within their appropriate age groups (with parental consent required, if they wish to engage in sexual intercourse). The Charter-required Letters that need to be read before turning 16 are listed in the Word Course and cover important aspects that will give them the proper Word–based perspectives regarding sex and relationships, and it's important that they read these Letters and apply them in their lives. These should not just be read on their own, but a parent or shepherd should read them with the teen, explaining the Word and giving them input and answers to their questions.
(Note: When teens turn 16, there is also a list of Letters to read that they must complete before they can be permitted to engage in sexual intercourse. This requirement is covered in point A.5. of this criteria. Please note that there are Daily Bread versions of the "Law of Love" series, posted on the MO site‚ that you can read with the teens to fulfill their reading requirement for these Letters.)
Word Basis:
B. Children must be given sufficient Word time, individually or in united classes, to consistently study and make significant progress in the Word Curriculum course [JT Word Course] for their age.
(The Love Charter: "Scholastic and Schedule Rules," B.)
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Scripture memorization was included as a responsibility to ensure that Family members would commit to memory the basic scriptures published in the Memory Book, and any other scriptures that they feel would be useful in their witness or personal life. Scripture memorization is not required on an ongoing basis, but each member is expected to have memorized at least the Memory Book scriptures and to be able to use them in their witness and in their personal lives when fighting the Enemy, claiming verses in prayer, etc. (The Love Charter: "Responsibilities of Individual Members," A.)
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(Dad: ) Your children should be focusing on memorizing from the Memory Book, and then the key promises.
For children, memory work comes easily. It's not going to be difficult for them to memorize more than just what is in the Memory Book. Where it gets difficult is that many children have sadly been allowed to fall behind in their memory work. If you've got a teen or JETT or preteen who hasn't memorized much, that child hasn't been well prepared for learning the keys, and there's some catch-up work to be done.
Those older kids will need to be memorizing both. I'd have them concentrate on getting the Memory Book down. But even with that, the keys are so simple to memorize, they can easily memorize one or two key promises a week as well.
One purpose of memorizing the Bible is so that you have a rock-solid foundation of Word in your heart.
The purpose of memorizing the key promises is so that you learn to wield this new power that has been granted to you.
Because of this, you need to memorize both. And because of this, your new disciples and your children need to concentrate on the Bible memory work in the Memory Book.
However, they can also be memorizing key promises, one or two a week, at the same time as they're concentrating on getting their basic Bible verses down. With the key promises, they don't have to get them so word perfect, and that makes it easier to memorize them. So it won't be difficult for them to add a couple of key promises into their memory work each week, even while mainly focusing on memorizing the most important Bible verses until they've completed the Memory Book or the Word curriculum [JT Word Course] standard for their age. ("The Mysterious Keys, Part 2," ML #3473:17-23, GN 1061)
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To prepare teens for becoming voting members of their Homes, they need to read through the Love Charter during the year preceding their 16th birthday. It is a vitally important document, so reading through it should help them to grasp the general policies by which the Family is governed, so as to be prepared for making responsible decisions when they become voting members. (The Love Charter: "Word Rules," C.)
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(Mama:) …Anyone who turns 16 should read this series of "Law of Love" GNs, as well as the other GNs included in the list of required reading for young people who are in the last quarter of their 15th year. All senior teens must have read the GNs in this list, together with a parent or shepherd, before they will be allowed to engage in sexual activity. ("Living the Lord's Law of Love!—Part 4," ML #3204:10, GN 807)
a. Are you working through the JT Word Course with your JETTs and junior teens?
b. Are your 15-year-olds either working through or have they completed the Charter reading assignments for their age found in the JT Word Course?
c. Are your JETTs and junior teens memorizing and working steadily through the memorization program from the JT Word Course for their age?
*3. Discuss, develop, implement and regularly maintain a Word program designed to inspire in the JETTs and teens a hunger for the Word.
Along with reading the New Wine, new pubs for their age group‚ and following the JT Word Course, this Word program could include such things as (but isn't limited to): songs, skits, active participation, research, note-taking‚ united times of hearing from Jesus, quizzes‚ games, animated presentations, movie clips, CVC courses and much more, with the purpose of making their Word time as alive, exciting, and applicable as possible.
Because the Enemy fights so hard against our young people reading and absorbing the Word, we need to counteract his attacks by investing time to develop and follow an inspired Word program for our JETTs and teens. The Word is the secret to everything—power, victory, overcoming, fruitfulness, fire‚ life, warmth, light, leadership and all that we want for our JETTs and teens. If we can help instill in them a hunger for the Word, we will have linked them up to the Source and their foundation will be established, so they can go forward and become the disciples that they are destined to be!
Word Basis:
(Jesus:) The main goal is to train your children to develop a personal relationship with Me—a relationship that doesn't depend on anyone else to be kept alive. This is going to be their greatest strength in the years to come—their love for and closeness to Me—because that is the standard by which they will measure everything. Their link with Me is what will keep them, protect them, instruct them‚ and give them power and anointing in time of need. ("Solutions for Shepherds, Parents and Everyone," ML #3389:188, GN 985)
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(Jesus: ) You must make a concerted effort to ground them in the Word. Whether your Home has four voting members or 16, whether you're busy full time with Activated meetings or you're a service center, you must make time to pray about how to get your teens turned on to the Word, and then you must make time to implement what I show you. This is very important.
(Mama:) If you will stop and ask the Lord about your individual teens‚ I don't doubt that He will give you excellent ideas as to what to start with, how to find their key, what will interest them and get them turned on‚ and even how to adjust your schedule in order to accommodate the increased work it will require to get a program rolling and be consistent with it. But it's one of those things that you can't afford not to do.
The Lord might show you to have a separate devotions or Word study for them. Or He might show you to gear your morning devotions to them, with the songs, skits, participation, movie clips, research, united times of hearing from Him, and applying the Word that they would relate to and which would help them to grasp it better. He might show you to include them in your Bible studies for your Active members, or to get them to help you teach the Bible study, which would require you going over the material beforehand together to help them learn it and be familiar with it.
Once they get more turned on to the Word and the treasures that it holds, you can give them projects to do on their own with a goal. For example, reading all the age-appropriate Letters on a certain subject and compiling the key quotes, and then giving a devotions or class on the subject to your Home or Active members; making a quote book along a certain theme that they or someone else could really use; working through the CVC reading lists on a certain subject. There are many possibilities or combinations‚ and the Lord will show you what will work best in your situation. ("Raising Junior Teen Disciples," ML #3419:36, 39-41, GN 1006)
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(Jesus:) Teens need variety in their Word diet. While the adults will be fine with reading one GN for the whole devotions and will get fed by it, teens and JETTs will probably only pay attention for 25% to 30% of the reading and miss the rest. They need discussion‚ Bible classes‚ and a variety of Word to read and absorb. They would probably be much more fed if someone "taught" the GN and called for audience participation with songs, verses from the Bible to support the lesson, examples, personal life testimonies, an anecdote or two thrown in, a poem‚ and wrapped it up with a time of hearing from Me unitedly. They have to learn the joy of swimming in My Word. ("Jewels on Junior Teens, Part 1," ML #3439:27, GN 1025)
a. Is sufficient prayer, planning and time being invested in your JETTs and teens' Word time in order to make these times feeding and inspiring and tailored to their needs?
b. Do you feel that your JETTs and teens' Word time is feeding and inspiring? (You may want to ask the JETTs and teens what they feel about this.)
*4. Strive to teach their JETTs and teens the use of the new weapons as presented in the Family publications. The weapons of praise, prayer, hearing from the Lord, use of the keys‚ working with spirit helpers and building a personal relationship with Jesus, are all vital aspects of the spiritual training of our JETTs and teens.
Teaching JETTs and teens how to use the new weapons is something you can do throughout the day! Using the new weapons should be a part of their daily lives.
You can teach them how to absorb the Word and apply it in their lives during their daily Word time; you can teach them how to claim the keys in fervent prayer during daily prayer vigil times, united Home prayer, or during any situation that arises throughout the day that needs prayer and key power; you can teach them to use prophecy throughout the day when they need to make decisions and get direction‚ and your Home's monthly prayer day or special Word-based activities can be ideal times to teach them the importance of hearing from their spirit helpers; you can teach them how to use the weapon of praise during your praise times and throughout the day, and show them how to use the key of praise to bring down the Lord's miraculous supply, protection and miracle-working power! The opportunities are limitless!
And one of the best ways to teach them not only how to use the new weapons but to develop a love for them and a respect for their importance is by you being a sample of it yourselves! A sample speaks louder than a sermon! If you're a sample of using the new weapons in your life‚ that enthusiasm will be contagious and they'll want to do it too!
Word Basis:
(Mama:) It's important that you realize that the spiritual warfare is more intense now, because your life for the Lord and your future in the Family are at stake. And the Devil and his team are not content to use the same old tactics or weapons. He's constantly updating and improving, trying to find something comparable to our increased spiritual power.
Satan's ability to hurt you when you're unguarded and unprotected has increased. He has more power to attack you in these Last Days, just as you have more power—much more power—to resist and defy him. As was brought out in "The Era of Action, Part 1" (ML #3288:53–54, GN 882), that isn't a problem for those who have kept up with the new weapons the Lord has given us, because his power is no match for ours‚ provided—and that's the key word, provided—we're using those weapons and becoming masters in the art of spiritual war!
If you don't keep up with the new weapons, you'll be outgunned by the Enemy. The new weapons are found in the Word. That's where you'll discover them‚ receive them, and be trained in their use. The new weapons and the Word are practically synonymous! Hence, your defense in this war is tied directly to the Word! ("What Is Jesus Worth to You‚" ML #3433:107-109, GN 1016)
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(Mama:) The Lord says, "This Revolution was built in the Spirit!—Not on schedules, not on rules, but the Spirit. Are you burdened to see the joy sparkle in your children's hearts?"—Not just the children, either, but the whole Family, everybody! "Are you burdened to see them carry on the Revolution?—Then you must give them the Spirit!" And it's not enough just to give them the Word. If they don't see the Word alive in you, and if you're not giving them the Spirit‚ then the Word will just become dead to the kids.—And not just to the kids, the Lord is speaking to all of us! ("How to Have a Happy Home‚" ML #2956:94, Lifelines 21)
a. Is your a Home a sample to the JETTs and teens of actively promoting and using the new weapons?
b. Are you teaching and shepherding them in the use of the new weapons?
*1. Train their JETTs and teens in well-rounded missionary work. Provide sufficient opportunity for them to actively participate in and contribute to the various aspects of the Home's witnessing ministries; i.e.: outreach and personal witnessing, soul winning, Activated, follow-up, Bible classes, reaching the rich and labor leaders, tool distribution‚ performing, CTPs, provisioning, road trips, etc.
Witnessing is one of the keys to making disciples out of our JETTs and teens. If they don't develop a love for lost souls and a passion for teaching others about Jesus, it's going to be hard for them to have the vision to stay in the Family. The whole reason for being in the Family is to be His witnesses, so we've got to teach them how to do it and to love doing it!
Besides your JETTs and teens just joining you in your outreach ministries, you'll probably want to create special witnessing opportunities geared to their needs. There are so many fun and exciting forms of witnessing you can do with your JETTs and teens, so please be willing to try new methods, even if it isn't one of your Home's normal outreach ministries.
Personal witnessing is something that our JETTs and teens need a lot of training and opportunities in. JETTs and teens need to learn how to talk to people one-on-one, as that helps to build their confidence in being a soul winner. And as they see hungry sheep who really want the Word, and lives changed as a result of their witness, it will ignite their fire like nothing else can!
Of course, your JETTs and teens can and should participate in your regular outreach ministries as well‚ and by giving them training and some real responsibility in those ministries, they can become inspiring and challenging for them.
Word Basis:
(Mama:) Witnessing adventures: The young people need to learn how to witness, feed the sheep, and follow up. The renewal is a time when the Lord wants to hook the JETTs and junior teens on the Family and help them to make their calling and election sure as His disciples, or at least begin moving them in that direction, and witnessing is a major part. So we need to teach them to be professional witnessers and soul winners. Witnessing, and the thrill that comes with it‚ is something the JETTs and junior teens desperately need to experience on a regular basis.
More than almost anything else we can do for them, the fulfillment of witnessing is what will motivate them to want to give their lives to Jesus as disciples and missionaries. As one CO who read an advance copy of this commented:
Witnessing will cause them to see their upbringing with different eyes, as everything they've been taught will suddenly click and make perfect sense when they are face to face with a sheep who is clinging to their every word for the answers. When they realize that they have the key within their hearts (all the Word stored in them) to unlock the mysteries and resolve the deepest secrets in the lives of those they come in contact with who are desperately searching for the answers, they will value their birthright.
("Renewal: A JETT and Junior Teen Challenge‚" ML #3492:24, 25, GN 1077)
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(Jesus: ) Get them out witnessing and feeding the sheep. Ask Me how to incorporate them into that aspect of your Home, and be willing to make sacrifices in order to implement My answer.
Your teens need to be able to pour out and feed others the meat of the Word. They need that training and that experience. Seeing the hunger that the lost have for the Word, seeing My counsel change someone's life, will inspire their faith and help them to realize the wealth that is theirs. It will bring to life all that they've been taught and become familiar with. Witnessing on a deep level, being faced with the questions of your sheep and Active members, will make them want to dig in to My Word and find the answers themselves. It will give them a sense of fulfillment, of belonging, of being needed.
Include them in your classes and Bible studies as assistants, inspirationalists, and hosts. Give them real responsibility—not just in name only, or busywork, but real serious responsibility. Give them training as they go. Teach them the classes, and then turn them around and have them teach the classes. That's how they'll really learn. That's how they'll be inspired to learn. That's how they'll have a vacuum for more‚ is if they are pouring out.
(Mama:) Of course, you can't sit them in front of a full class of sheep and expect them to carry it alone on the first day. But please ask the Lord what you should start them on, where to go, who should take them‚ what the approach should be, and any preparations you need to make beforehand‚ and then follow through. Once the Lord sees you're serious about this, He will start dropping opportunities in your lap, opening doors for not only cool, in-depth witnessing, but also accompanied by the fun and excitement and adventures that the teens crave so much.
(Spirit helper:) Give your junior teens the responsibility of praying about and planning an upcoming Bible class or get-together with your sheep. Give them the full responsibility of praying about the theme‚ making the outline, and doing all the footwork. Of course, if they've never done anything like this before, they'll need your help and guidance; but don't squelch them. ("Raising Junior Teen Disciples," ML #3419:48, 50, 51‚ 53, 77, GN 1006)
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(Jesus:) With teens it's important that they be involved in witnessing that requires them to be on-fire and radical, and doesn't always focus on the raising of funds. They need to go to where their own generation is and just witness. They need to be taught to witness with their Bibles and win souls. How many of you are training and teaching your young people to personally witness? How many of you are taking your teens to places where they can pour out and not worry about anything but just winning and feeding lost souls of their generation? That's what your teens need. If you look back at what kept the first Family disciples on fire, it was personal witnessing.
The verse "without a vision the people perish" couldn't be truer for teens! If they don't have a spiritual vision, they will perish spiritually. If they don't have a clear imprint on their lives of what it is to be a true missionary and what it's like to witness and win souls‚ then their growth as missionaries is going to be stunted, and you shouldn't be surprised if they don't end up living for Me and serving Me. Witnessing is what kept you when you were young, and that's what's going to keep them. You have to keep that in mind and relate to them in that way. ("Jewels on Junior Teens, Part 1," ML #3439:31, 32, GN 1025)
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(Jesus:) Get your children or teens involved with your witnessing ministries. Whether it's tool distribution, singing and performing‚ follow–up, mail ministry‚ or whatever type of witnessing you specialize in, help them become a part of it. Singing and performing are not embraced by all children, but some can really get into it and just love it‚ and will be happy to devote their evening hours to learning new choreography or practicing playing an instrument. Or the computer-inclined might completely enjoy learning graphic design and layout, and can use those skills for your mail ministry, for advertising and promoting your show group, your distribution tools‚ etc. Whatever you have the opportunity to teach or let your child learn on their own, with approval and assistance, that could somehow help your witnessing ministry should be what you encourage them in most. ("Solutions for Parents, Shepherds and Everyone," ML #3389:147, GN 985)
a. Are you investing time and effort into the training of your JETTs and teens in well-rounded missionary work in order to help them be effective and confident witnessers?
b. Are you providing sufficient opportunity for your JETTs and teens to go out witnessing, and actively participate in and contribute to the Home's witnessing ministries?
c. [info] What kind of witnessing do your JETTs and teens engage in and how often are they given opportunity to go out witnessing? Please explain briefly:
2. Be sure that their JETTs and teens' dress and deportment are appropriate for the type of witnessing they are doing.
When it comes to witnessing, something we can all agree on is that there is no end to the variety of methods and types of witnessing that a Home or individual can engage in. Needless to say, there are limits regarding the kind of dress we can wear, and the guidelines are outlined in the Word, but the point is that different witnessing methods could call for different dress, deportment and styles.
If you as a Home are aware of this and if both you, the adults and the JETTs and teens see eye-to-eye and agree that there is give and take involved; if you understand that a happy medium must be found to ensure that you as a team are the correct sample of a Family Home, then it's very probable that you will be able to cater to each other's needs, personal likes and styles, dress and conduct yourselves appropriately for the type of witnessing that you are engaging in or the kind of people you are witnessing to‚ and make good decisions along these lines that you will all be happy with and that are in line with the standard given in the Word.
Word Basis:
(Comments from SGA CO:) The first impression we make on people is crucial in determining the amount of future contact people will want to have with us. The level of society we're trying to reach is more often than not made up of very busy people. If we hope that they'll take the time and want to come to our Homes, then the first impression we make or our "outward appearance" has to inspire confidence. Because "appearance" is such a big deal in the upper echelons of society‚ at least in our continent, our physical sample has to be clean and presentable, and our way and mannerisms have to reflect education and courtesy.
We can't expect to sell someone on the Gospel when our personal "look" says anything but "I'm a success." People won't ever take us into their confidence or want to be taken into ours if their first impression of us is a bad one, and if we're dirty, shoddy, slack and sloppy, we can be sure that our ratings will be anywhere from bad to worse. That kind of sample reflects an attitude of carelessness and lethargy, terms that are not associated with success.
The world is extra leery of "religious" folks and expects a lot more from Christians‚ especially "professional" missionaries, than they do from just about anyone else. So our whole presentation of the Gospel is either helped or hindered by what we look like and how we treat people. If we hope to change them, we have to give them a good reason to want what we have. This is where "becoming one" is very important.
Unlike ministering to the poor, it's very important that we "become one" with those who can help us to change the world through their positions of influence or through their financial help. That doesn't mean "one in spirit," but it does mean that if you look, act‚ dress and behave like the poor, you won't get anywhere with the rich. Unfortunately‚ some of the Family young people have to some extent "become one" with the "lower" class. The baggy pants, heavy piercing, untied big tennis shoes‚ and in general the bum look is the way that some people express their individuality. Dad said that in some cases it's more revolutionary to not appear to be revolutionary in order to reach a certain type of people. At least in this part of the world, the "rich kids" or successful kids, the labor leaders, don't look like bums; in fact, they are usually at the other extreme. Even if they have an earring or long hair, they are clean-cut and classy and "together."
Children who are ill-mannered, sloppy and rude are never going to be a testimony to anyone; in fact, they'll only be a testimony against us. It's heartbreaking to see how some Family kids seem "neglected" in the way of being properly educated in etiquette and respect for others and even for themselves. It's pitiful.
The wonderful thing about the Family has always been how we can adapt to any level or class and become anything to anybody in order to win them. We've learned to not be intimidated by the rich, nor to feel "better" than the poor. We're adaptable and can be comfortable in any situation.
[Our kids] were born with a specific charge and we need to prepare them to fulfill their destiny. We're robbing our kids of a heritage that is rightfully theirs, and that's the heritage of faith to hitch their wagon to a star knowing nothing can stop them. Our kids are born into a royal priesthood; they are called out, set apart for the Lord, and we need to treat them like it and teach them to act like it. People don't seem to realize that the way they treat their kids is the way their kids will act‚ and that's a day in and day out thing. It all begins at home. They try to give their kids pointers on how to behave in front of visitors, but they should be stressing that as normal behavior, not a once-in-a-while, special–occasion act. It's crazy. It's teaching kids to be a fake and phony, instead of the real genuine princes and princesses that they are.
All that to say, we must raise our standard even if for our kids' sake, otherwise we're ruining them. As a parent, I don't think that I would listen to a thing "the missionaries" had to say, no matter how clean or nice their house was, if their kids were out of control, grubby, destructive, impolite, foul-mouthed, etc. Whatever you were trying to offer me, I'd figure it was ineffective and certainly not my idea of "help" for my own problems. People want to raise their kids to be successful‚ and if our kids are not winning material, then others will figure that we're not worth their time or interest, and certainly they won't want their kids to be influenced by ours. ("Reach the Rich," ML #3400:85-86‚ 88-94, 96, GN 992)
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(Jesus: ) The overall standard for hairstyles, dress styles, makeup and jewelry must be judged according to many factors. What is your motive? What is the purpose for the way you want to dress or look? Who are you witnessing to and how can you best become one? What kind of effect will it have on your younger brothers and sisters? What kind of testimony is it to those who see you? Is your dress a distraction to your witness and your testimony, or is it a help? Does it help you become one? Does it help others relate to you? Does it help others want to listen to you? Does it show people you're not part of the church system, that you're different‚ that you're not churchy Christians, lukewarm and conservative? Does it show that you're new bottles? Does it show that you're not stuck in a rut, but that you can change with the times‚ that you're adaptable?
Different situations call for different dress codes. Witnessing to different people requires a different look, for different people are baited in different ways. As you have been instructed from the Words of David for years, you should become one, that you may win those to whom you're witnessing. But in your effort to become one‚ don't become entrenched in worldly ways or entrapped in the bondage that the poor victims of the System suffer. Strive continually to stay, above all‚ yielded to Me and free in the Spirit.
Freedom of the Spirit is the ability to change, to adapt. Being truly revolutionary is being whatever you need to be, moment by moment‚ day by day. In a certain situation, you might feel led to dress in such a way that those you minister to can relate to you, be they gang members or the homeless or the poor people who walk the strips—the drug addicts and the prostitutes. They won't be drawn to you or willing to listen to your message if you look like you just walked out of the corner Baptist church.
Likewise, if you are called to minister to your kings and contacts or the top in your city, or those who long to understand your work and who have a desire to help you, and those who respect what you're doing, you would not approach these people looking like a gang member or a homeless person, but you would look respectable. You would become one, that you might win them, that they might be able to relate to you, that you might be able to witness and give My message.
This is the most important criterion: Does what you're doing help you to witness and get out the message, or does it distract and hinder? What is your motive? This is the question that I ask you, and that you must answer personally on a day–by-day basis. Are you truly seeking to please Me and to do your best to get out the message? Or by your actions and through your dress are you seeking to please yourself and those of the world who look upon you? Who do you love the most and who do you seek to please—Me or those of the world?
You will be able to tell if your dress is of Me by judging according to the fruit that it bears. If it turns off those you minister to or are in contact with and is a bad sample to them, this is not good fruit. If it confuses your younger brothers and sisters, this is not good fruit. If you don't have a good explanation as to why you dress the way you do that will be acceptable to your younger brothers and sisters, this is not good fruit. If you're not concerned about the people that you're witnessing to, the older folks, the contacts‚ the supporters, the kings and queens, and you don't care whether you blow them away or show disrespect, this is not good fruit. Likewise, if you cannot relate to the young people, if you cannot approach them and become one with them so that they feel comfortable with you and feel a kindred spirit with you, this is also not good fruit. ("Man Looketh on the Outward Appearance—Part 1," ML #3124:50-54‚ 56, Lifelines 24).
a. When your JETTs and teens are witnessing, is their appearance and conduct appropriate and are they a positive reflection of the Family?
b. When your friends, contacts and active members visit your Home, are your JETTs and teens a good sample in their appearance and deportment?
For Family Discipleship Homes, January 2005
*1. Have a voting member 18 years or older be a JETT/teen counselor who represents the JETTs and teens, and is tuning in to their shepherding, oversight and needs.
The JETT/teen counselor works under the oversight of the body of Home shepherds, who are ultimately responsible for the spiritual shepherding of the Home and all its members. The JETT/teen counselor should also counsel and work together with the JETTs and teens' parents, the Home managers, and the Home in matters relating to the JETTs and teens.
If there are JETTs or teens in the Home with nonresident parents, the parents should be kept informed on a regular basis, by the JETT/teen counselor or the Home shepherds, of their JETT or teen's physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being.
a. Does your Home have a JT counselor?
[ ] Yes [ ] No (If no‚ please explain)
i. Is the JT counselor in your Home allotted sufficient time to plan and prepare Word classes (as needed) and JETT/teen activities‚ and shepherd and communicate regularly with the JETTs and teens in your Home?
[ ] All or nearly all of the time
[ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time
[ ] Hardly ever
ii. Is there good communication between the JT counselor and the Steering Council, parents and other members of the Home?
[ ] All or nearly all of the time
[ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time
[ ] Hardly ever
b. If you have any JETTs and teens in your Home with nonresident parents‚ have you communicated with the parent(s) according to the Charter guidelines (listed in The Love Charter: "Rights of Parents," E.2.)
[ ] Yes [ ] No (If no, please explain)
*2. Have a well-balanced schedule for the JETTs and teens that includes all aspects of Home life: spiritual training, academics, witnessing, Home duties, vocational training, physical education, fun and relaxation in order to help them be challenged and happy in the Family.
a. Do your JETT/teens have a well-balanced schedule that allots time for each of the following:
Spiritual training
[ ] Yes [ ] No (If no‚ please explain)
Academics (during school year)
[ ] Yes [ ] No (If no, please explain)
Witnessing
[ ] Yes [ ] No (If no, please explain)
Home duties
[ ] Yes [ ] No (If no, please explain)
Vocational training/CVC courses
[ ] Yes [ ] No (If no, please explain)
Physical education
[ ] Yes [ ] No (If no‚ please explain)
Fun and relaxation
[ ] Yes [ ] No (If no, please explain)
*3. Lovingly shepherd their JETTs and teens using the Word, prayer, wise counsel, and hearing from the Lord in prophecy. Allot personal talk time and/or open forums so the JETTs and teens can express their needs, questions and concerns.
a. Does your Home faithfully counsel, pray, hear from the Lord and go to the Word for answers and direction in shepherding your JETTs and teens, so that your style of shepherding is in line with the New Wine?
[ ] All or nearly all of the time
[ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time
[ ] Hardly ever
b. When interacting with and shepherding your JETTs and teens‚ do your Home members treat them in a respectful and loving manner?
[ ] All or nearly all of the time
[ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time
[ ] Hardly ever
c. Do your JETTs and teens have biweekly talk times and/or weekly open forums as per the Charter guidelines (Required Meetings and Activities H, I)?
[ ] All or nearly all of the time
[ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time
[ ] Hardly ever
*4. Invest time in their JETTs and teens so that their physical, emotional and spiritual needs are met. Homes should be aware of and help to develop the interests, talents and skills of their JETTs and teens, and strive to help them be happy‚ inspired, self-motivated, fulfilled and challenged—the goal being that they are not bored and neglected.
a. Since your last Home review, has your Home or assigned members (i.e., parents/JT counselor/Steering Council) discussed and prayed about the physical, spiritual and/or emotional needs of your JETTs and teens?
[ ] Yes [ ] No (If no, please explain)
b. If any decisions were made regarding your JETTs and teens, in order for your Home to fulfill the above criteria‚ were they enacted to the best of your Home's ability?
[ ] All or nearly all of the time
[ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time
[ ] Hardly ever (If hardly ever, please explain)
c. Is your Home investing sufficient time in your JETTs and teens, so they have the opportunity to develop their interests, talents and skills?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
d. [info] Do you feel that the JETTs and teens in your Home are generally happy, inspired, self-motivated, fulfilled and challenged?
[ ] All or nearly all of the time
[ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time
[ ] Hardly ever
5. Ensure that the JETTs and junior teens are receiving age-appropriate sex education, and counsel and shepherding regarding dating.
Parent(s)/guardian(s) or shepherds should counsel and shepherd their senior teens in matters relating to dating and sexual relations. (See Charter for specifics regarding age guidelines for the JETTs and teens' dating and sexual interaction.)
a. Have your senior teens read (or are reading) the publications listed in the Charter (The Love Charter: "Word Rules," D.E.F.) and was time taken (or is being taken) with them by a parent/guardian or shepherd to answer any questions they had (or have)?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
b. Are your senior teens adequately shepherded and counseled in matters regarding dating and sexual relations?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
i. Has the issue of parental/guardian permission being needed before engaging in sexual intercourse been addressed with the senior teens in your Home? (The Love Charter: "Responsibilities of Parents," L.)
[ ] Yes [ ] No
c. Are the JETTs and junior teens receiving age-appropriate sex education and being shepherded and counseled so that they understand the Charter clauses governing sex and affection and that there are consequences for their actions, both for themselves and others? (See Sex and Affection rules F and G in the Charter and Charter Amendments 2003, GN 1033).
[ ] Yes [ ] No
*6. Shepherd their JETTs and teens in minimizing and resisting ungodly and worldly influences in conjunction with the counsel and guidelines given in the Word and the Charter, and be in agreement as a Home on these matters.
a. Does your Home have an agreed upon, Word-based standard in order to minimize and resist any of the ungodly influences in the following:
[ ] Yes [ ] No - Listening to non-Family music
[ ] Yes [ ] No - Internet surfing
[ ] Yes [ ] No – Chatting/e–mail
[ ] Yes [ ] No - Computer games
[ ] Yes [ ] No - Movie watching
[ ] Yes [ ] No - TV viewing
[ ] Yes [ ] No - Reading non-Family material
[ ] Yes [ ] No – Negative interaction with non-Family or former member young people, such as at parties, during sports, or hanging out at malls, etc.
b. Are your JETTs and teens receiving shepherding in accordance with the counsel and guidelines in the Word regarding minimizing and resisting any ungodly and worldly influences in such things as:
[ ] Yes [ ] No - Listening to non–Family music
[ ] Yes [ ] No - Internet surfing
[ ] Yes [ ] No - Chatting/e-mail
[ ] Yes [ ] No – Computer games
[ ] Yes [ ] No - Movie watching
[ ] Yes [ ] No - TV viewing
[ ] Yes [ ] No - Reading non-Family material
[ ] Yes [ ] No - Negative interaction with non-Family or former member young people, such as at parties, during sports, or hanging out at malls‚ etc.
*7. Ensure that parents/guardians or shepherds have prayerfully read and explained the Provisional Family disciple contract with those turning 16 and that the teen has made a decision, within three months of turning 16, as to whether they will sign the Provisional Family disciple contract.
A. If the 16- and 17-year-olds have signed the Provisional Family disciple contract‚ the Home must fulfill its responsibility to shepherd its senior teens and ensure that the senior teens abide by the guidelines therein.
B. If those turning 16 decide not to sign the Provisional Family disciple contract, then the parents must take the necessary steps regarding the teen's future outside the FD Family as per the guidelines in the Provisional Family disciple contract.
a. [info] Have any teens in your Home turned 16 since the last Home review?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
i. Have their parents or shepherds prayerfully explained and read the Provisional Family disciple contract with them?
[ ] Yes [ ] No (If no, please explain)
ii. [info] Have any of them (who are 16 and three months, or older) decided not to sign the Provisional Family disciple contract?
[ ] Yes (if yes‚ please list who, and explain what steps your Home has taken to follow the guidelines given in the S2K regarding senior teens who do not sign the contract.)
[ ] No
b. Is your Home shepherding the senior teens who have signed the Provisional Family disciple contract and requiring them to uphold it?
[ ] All or nearly all of the time
[ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time
[ ] Hardly ever
*8. Be diligent to know the state of their JETTs and teens. When spiritual or behavioral problems are discovered, the Home should take steps to remedy the situation and help their JETTs and teens overcome through the Word, prayer, hearing from the Lord‚ shepherding, appropriate discipline‚ personal time, and seeking counsel when necessary.
a. Are you doing your utmost to be aware of any spiritual or behavioral problems in any of your JETTs/teens?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
i. If you are aware of any problems‚ have you as a parent/guardian or shepherd done, or are you doing, any of the following?:
Read the Word on the subject‚ prayed and counseled together in order to get direction from the Lord and the Word on how to help the JETT or teen
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Given reading assignments or had Word classes with them on the subject(s)
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Given suggested questions to ask the Lord about
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Given prophecies of instruction and/or encouragement
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Had additional personal time if needed
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Taken steps to address any situations that may be contributing to the problem
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Had personal or united prayer together
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Given loving correction, or when warranted, appropriate discipline
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Sought counsel from JT or VS boards if needed
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Taken the time to follow up on their Word and other assignments to help them hold on to their victories
[ ] Yes [ ] No
*1. Teach their JETTs and teens to live in accordance with the discipleship standard in the Word and the "Responsibilities of Individual Members" as outlined in the Charter. The Home is responsible to instill in their JETTs and teens character-building qualities such as love for the Lord and the Word, respect‚ honesty, godly speech, responsibility, personal accountability, stewardship, faithfulness, diligence, obedience, gratitude, etc.
a. Are you teaching and training your JETTs and teens to understand and live the character-building qualities listed above through Word classes, shepherding, personal talk and prayer times, as well as through the personal sample of the Home members to help them learn to live in accordance with the discipleship standard in the Word and the "Responsibilities of Individual Members" as outlined in the Charter?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
b. [info] How would you describe the general conduct and behavior of the JETTs and teens in your Home?
[ ] Good [ ] Fair [ ] Poor
c. [info] Since your last Home review have any of your JETTs and teens been in trouble with the law or been involved in illicit activities (i.e., shoplifting, drinking, smoking, physical violence, or substance abuse)?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
i. Was the incident shepherded, rectified‚ and if necessary was additional counsel sought from the JT board (and the shepherding desk in the case of a Charter infraction)?
[ ] Yes [ ] No (if no, please explain)
2. Require their JETTs and teens to uphold the standard in the Word in regards to cleanliness, dress, and deportment so as to be a positive reflection of the Family.
If there are questions or controversies in the Home in regards to these matters, the Home must discuss the matters and agree on a united standard concerning them in accordance with the counsel in the Word.
a. Is your JETT and teen's conduct a good Christian sample and testimony and a positive reflection on the Family?
[ ] All or nearly all of the time [ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time [ ] Hardly ever
b. Is their appearance and clothing in accordance with the counsel in the Word and the Charter and acceptable in your field, and therefore a good sample of a Family member?
[ ] All or nearly all of the time [ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time [ ] Hardly ever
c. If the JETTs and teens in your Home have any weaknesses in these areas (see questions a. and b.)‚ have you taken steps to strengthen them and to find solutions?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
1. Have a united disciplinary standard for the JETTs and junior teens that has been prayed about and agreed upon by the voting members of the Home in accordance with the Word and the "Family Discipline Guidelines." This Home disciplinary standard should be explained to and discussed with the JETTs and junior teens. It should be documented, easily accessible, and reviewed periodically.
a. Does your Home have a Word-based united disciplinary standard for the JETTs and junior teens?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
b. Have you discussed with and explained this standard to the JETTs and junior teens?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
c. Is the discipline standard current, documented, clearly defined and reviewed periodically?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
*2. Ensure that all members uphold, and those that are designated (the JETTs or junior teens' parents, guardians or shepherds), enforce the Word–based disciplinary guidelines that have been agreed upon by the Home in accordance with the Charter.
a. Is the disciplinary standard that has been agreed upon by your Home upheld and enforced?
[ ] All or nearly all of the time
[ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time
[ ] Hardly ever
1. Allocate the resources and personnel needed for the JETTs and junior teens in their Home to be given 2 hours of quality united and/or individual Word time and intercessory prayer vigil time daily.
A daily minimum of 1½ hours of Word time and 30 minutes of intercessory prayer vigil should be scheduled for senior teens.
a. Do your JETTs and junior teens have 2 hours of individual or united Word time daily?
[ ] All or nearly all of the time
[ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time
[ ] Hardly ever
b. Do your senior teens have a minimum 1½ hours of Word time daily following the guidelines in "What Is Jesus Worth to You"?
[ ] All or nearly all of the time
[ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time
[ ] Hardly ever
c. Does your Home's schedule allot time for personal or united intercessory prayer vigil for your JETTs and teens?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
2. Provide the opportunity for the JETTs and teens to follow the current JT Word Course and the memorization program contained therein.
There must be a plan for the 15-year-olds to read the Charter-required reading lists for their age found in the JT Word Course.
a. Are you working through the JT Word Course with your JETTs and junior teens?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
b. Are your 15-year-olds either working through or have they completed the Charter reading assignments for their age found in the JT Word Course?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
c. Are your JETTs and junior teens memorizing and working steadily through the memorization program from the JT Word Course for their age?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
*3. Discuss, develop, implement and regularly maintain a Word program designed to inspire in the JETTs and teens a hunger for the Word.
Along with reading the New Wine, new pubs for their age group, and following the JT Word Course, this Word program could include such things as (but isn't limited to): songs, skits, active participation, research‚ note–taking, united times of hearing from Jesus, quizzes, games‚ animated presentations, movie clips, CVC courses and much more, with the purpose of making their Word time as alive, exciting, and applicable as possible.
a. Is sufficient prayer, planning and time being invested in your JETTs and teens' Word time in order to make these times feeding and inspiring and tailored to their needs?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
b. Do you feel that your JETTs and teens' Word time is feeding and inspiring? (You may want to ask the JETTs and teens what they feel about this.)
[ ] All or nearly all of the time
[ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time
[ ] Hardly ever
*4. Strive to teach their JETTs and teens the use of the new weapons as presented in the Family publications. The weapons of praise, prayer, hearing from the Lord, use of the keys‚ working with spirit helpers and building a personal relationship with Jesus, are all vital aspects of the spiritual training of our JETTs and teens.
a. Is your a Home a sample to the JETTs and teens of actively promoting and using the new weapons?
[ ] All or nearly all of the time
[ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time
[ ] Hardly ever
b. Are you teaching and shepherding them in the use of the new weapons?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
*1. Train their JETTs and teens in well-rounded missionary work. Provide sufficient opportunity for them to actively participate in and contribute to the various aspects of the Home's witnessing ministries; i.e.: outreach and personal witnessing, soul winning, Activated, follow-up, Bible classes‚ reaching the rich and labor leaders, tool distribution, performing, CTPs, provisioning, road trips, etc.
a. Are you investing time and effort into the training of your JETTs and teens in well-rounded missionary work in order to help them be effective and confident witnessers?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
b. Are you providing sufficient opportunity for your JETTs and teens to go out witnessing, and actively participate in and contribute to the Home's witnessing ministries?
[ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time
[ ] Hardly ever
c. [info] What kind of witnessing do your JETTs and teens engage in and how often are they given opportunity to go out witnessing? Please explain briefly:
[ ] Explain here:
2. Be sure that their JETTs and teens' dress and deportment are appropriate for the type of witnessing they are doing.
a. When your JETTs and teens are witnessing‚ is their appearance and conduct appropriate and are they a positive reflection of the Family?
[ ] All or nearly all of the time
[ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time
[ ] Hardly ever
b. When your friends, contacts and active members visit your Home, are your JETTs and teens a good sample in their appearance and deportment?
[ ] All or nearly all of the time
[ ] Most of the time
[ ] Some of the time
[ ] Hardly ever
Copyright © 2004 by The Family International
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