Solutions for Shepherds, Parents and Everyone!

Maria
May 7, 2003

By MariaMaria #604 CM/FM 3389 1/02

Dear Family,

1. Peter and I are praying very desperately for you parents as you work to build better communication, clearer understanding, and stronger love between you and your children. We pray that the GN "Are You a Delinquent Parent?" helped to show you where you need to improve, and provided the motivation to change. If you're having difficulty having the faith that you can change the deep-seated bad habits you have in your interaction with your children and in their discipline and training, I suggest you read "Changing Deeply Ingrained Habits and Mindsets!" (See ML #3324, GN 929.) It is possible to change, that we know, especially as we call on the keys of the Kingdom, become doers of the Word, and put on the mind of God.

2. This GN is a compilation of practical advice from the Lord and Dad on parenting, much of which focuses on your relationship with your children and young people. Whatever kind of relationship you parents have with your children, this GN is for you. If you presently have a shaky relationship with your kids and need to improve; if you need to change in areas where you've compromised your convictions and become very lethargic, selfish‚ lazy or lacking in faith; or if you have a sweet relationship with your kids, but you've fallen down in disciplining and properly training them and you consistently let them get away with things they shouldn't—if you wonder how to go about turning things around, I believe this counsel will help you. Of course‚ the Lord could give you these practical tips personally, if you were to look to Him and hear from Him in prophecy. But I know you're very busy, and it's terribly hard to find the time to get detailed answers to a lot of questions. So hopefully this GN can be a mini-manual that lays out the basics for you, and then you can invest your personal prayer and prophecy time in seeing how to apply this to your personal family situation.

Take It Slow and Be Loving!

3. If you've been compromising or disobedient for some time and have many bad habits, if you're not giving your children the proper discipline and training, or if your relationship with your young people is rocky to the point that you hardly have faith that it can be salvaged, then you might feel totally overwhelmed. The idea of having well-behaved, disciplined kids might look like a pie-in-the-sky goal. If that's the case, please relax. Remember, the Lord loves you and He's going to help you. No matter how bad the situation or what the lack is, you have the love of the Lord, the power of the keys, the Word, the knowledge that nothing is impossible, and the ability to rise above to help you over the rough spots.

4. Please don't set your goals too high or expect overnight changes. If you take it slow and easy, take time to prayerfully assess your situation and your children's spiritual state‚ talk to others about what needs to improve in your parenting approach, study the Word on the subject, and really love your kids through this time of change, it will go well. If you get frustrated or panic–stricken, worrying that you're going to lose your CM membership, so you get tough and loud and pushy, that will not work.

5. You parents can't think about yourselves if you want to make this work. Think about your kids; think about what they need‚ think about their future. Then really seek the Lord and do the humble thing, the loving thing‚ the unselfish thing. Yes, you need conviction and you need to rid your life of lethargy, compromise, and the sins that are spoiling your sample to your kids‚ you need to give your kids better training, you need to pull up your socks in the discipline department, but you also need to be loving! Try not to get upset, stay calm, and have faith. Take your time, listen, pray in faith‚ laugh, keep things in perspective, don't overreact, refuse to get pressured, give your kids time, and use gentle, slow healing methods. In short‚ be like Jesus.

6. As you parents know‚ you can't take these tips and try to practice them legalistically, forcing the issue. Kids really don't go for that approach. Hurrying and trying to whip everyone into shape won't bear good fruit. It will only alienate your kids and could make them rebellious and hardened toward you. Please, take the time to communicate, confess your own mistakes, show your kids how sorry you are for your own failures, break down the walls of division and hurt, and then let the Lord work.

Where Are the Prayer Warriors?

7. There's one "parenting to-do" that can easily be overlooked, but it's one of the most important things, if not THE most important: Pray for your children! Really fight for them in prayer, labor in prayer, get desperate in prayer. Don't take the privilege of prayer lightly; commit to being a dedicated, on–the-job prayer warrior.

8. Regarding the need for more prayer warriors, the Lord recently said:

9. (Jesus speaking:) In this day and age‚ there is a greater need for prayer than ever, and yet so few take this responsibility seriously. To pray is the greatest duty of man, and yet My army of prayer warriors sadly dwindles as man proceeds into the 21st century. It is heartbreaking to see how many situations are not helped because no one prayed. The needs of My lost children loom before Me as they wander as sheep with no shepherd, and I weep for them. I wait for the petitions of those who know Me to plead their cause, and yet there is silence. I cannot do many mighty miracles because My people fail to pray as they should.

10. The ministry of prayer is a very precious one, but so neglected. It is a great privilege that I bring this need and challenge to your attention, for through this, not only will you find great fulfillment and satisfaction personally, but you will help to change the course of history. You can change the world from your humble prayer corner. You can take hold of the power of God and change lives through your faithful, importunate prayers. (End of message from Jesus)

11. (Mama:) In a different message‚ the Lord said:

12. (Jesus speaking:) I am so desperate for prayer warriors. There is so much to be done, and more can be accomplished through prayer than through any other means. Yet, in spite of prayer being the absolute most efficient and productive activity in the world, there are very few who fully embrace the calling and make the most of it. There are so few who are faithful with their prayer vigils. There are so few who labor in desperate prayer. There are so few who allow My Spirit to move them and burden them for others, to the point that they feel the need to pray consistently and wholeheartedly‚ calling on the keys and commanding Me to work on their behalf. (End of message from Jesus.)

13. (Mama:) I challenge each of you to become militant prayer warriors. Will you make a personal vow to uphold our children both in and out of the Family in prayer? I'm talking to all of you, not just the parents!

Keep Your Prayer Fires Burning!

14. I know many of you parents still battle with discouragement and condemnation and have a hard time getting over the fact that your kids have left the Family. I know you worry that your kids will keep leaving‚ one after the other, when they come of age, once their older brothers and sisters are established in the System. This is very disheartening, and we need to do something about it!

15. The goal of these GNs about parenting is to salvage our kids who are on the verge of giving up their calling. We want to save our children, to preserve them for the Lord's service! The first and foremost responsibility we all have in solving this problem is to pray!

16. As we delve into the subject of our children and salvaging them for the Lord, I anticipate that you who have kids who've left the Family will feel bad, lamenting that this counsel is either coming too late or wishing you would have been more on the attack to get similar answers yourself while there was still time to save your kids' service for the Lord in the Family. It's very natural that you parents worry about your kids who are out of the Family; it's a real soft spot. In some ways that's good, as it makes you pray more and raises your concern for the children still in your care. But as I said in "Are You a Delinquent Parent?" there's a lot of accompanying condemnation, remorse, fear, heartache and other negative emotions that are not good.

17. When thinking about the importance of intercessory prayer for our children, I was reminded of a message that the Lord recently gave about the need to pray for our kids who are out of the Family. Of course, the need for intercessory prayer applies to those who are lost within the Family too.

18. (Jesus speaking:) There will always be this tender spot in parents' hearts for their children‚ and this is a focal point where the Enemy attacks and will continue to attack, with feelings of remorse‚ condemnation, hurt, blame, lamenting that they didn't do enough, or that even now they can do more regarding their children who have chosen to leave My service, or those who are considering doing so. These struggles that parents continue to battle are natural and are part of the test of parenthood.

19. The Enemy is well aware of these tender spots in the heart of every parent, and this is where he wages fierce warfare, especially with you, My brides. The Devil will continue to try to strike these tender spots as often as he can and in a variety of ways, first from one angle, then from a different angle, then another and another. I forewarn you that you might be aware‚ that you might raise your shields and be on guard against these attacks of the Evil One.

20. These tender spots are not to be feared, but rather you must let them work for your good. If you parents will let these tender spots provoke you to prevail in prayer, to fight in prayer, to take an unbending, unwavering stance in prayer, though the Enemy attacks from varied angles‚ through calling on the keys and the power of prayer, I am able to turn around each and every attempt Satan exacts on you parents so that it backfires right in his face.

21. I allow these battles in order to make you strong, that I might guide you into the position I wish for you to take—the stance of courageous prayer warriors, those who stand strong, who do not waver, who wield accurately the weapons I have equipped you with to face down the Enemy, to thwart his efforts, to push him back and back and back until he is pinned in a corner with no escape.

22. The most definite and best thing that parents can do is to gird on their armor, raise the banner of the keys of the Kingdom and prevail in prayer. Prayer is the most you can do. Prayer is the best you can do. Prayer is the answer. Nothing is impossible to the man or woman of prayer. There is no barrier that strong prayer and the power of the keys cannot break through; there is no enemy that prayer and the keys cannot conquer. There is so much more you can do through prayer than by any other means available to you. Laboring prayer‚ prevailing prayer, intercessory prayer‚ unfailing prayer is the answer.

23. If you parents will let the revival of prayer begin in your own hearts‚ it will start a revolution that will be heard round the world. Through prayer, you can not only intercede, not only set the Enemy back‚ not only raise a great wall of protection around those for whom you pray, but through prayer I will give you the answers, the personalized solutions to each situation. Through more prayer, more answers and more solutions are yours for the asking, for the taking.

24. You must not only pray, but you must listen. Call on Me to receive the daily battle plan, and ask Me what action in prayer I wish for you to take that day. If the Enemy is hitting one of your tender spots, I will give you specifics on the best way to fight back. Ask Me for moment-by-moment instruction in every situation. I will punch through in ways you never anticipated.

25. This concept of asking Me everything and asking for specifics is not new to you; these are not new instructions, but I know that the flesh grows weary in prayer. Therefore I reiterate that you must not slack off in asking Me everything, in getting My specific instructions on these matters, and in beseeching Me through intercessory prayer.

26. Likewise‚ because some of your children have now been out of the Family for some time and are becoming established in the world‚ and pulled deeper and deeper into the System, and others appear to be deeper and deeper into wayward ways, the temptation grows stronger to let up on your fervency in prayer for these who have strayed—thinking they are so deep into the slime pit of the world that your prayers do not matter as much. This is when the Enemy will tempt you with the thought that it's impossible to change their situation, and then he'll hit you with feelings of hurt, blame, condemnation, and a never-ending list of woes.

27. But‚ My loves, where there is life there is hope. Be not weary in prayer for your children who have ventured out from among you, for they need your prayer support more than ever. Your prayers play a vital part in each life. Your prayers can do what you cannot. Those who have gone out need this support, and so do you. If you will take up this challenge‚ it will not only carry your children through, but you will then find greater strength to fight the Enemy's attacks on your tender spots, for you will know you are doing all you can, that you are doing your part, that you are answering My call to stand strong and be faithful to the greatest duty I give you—to fight in prayer.

28. Seek Me for how I want you to attack in prayer; ask Me for new ways to pray, for instruction on how I want you to direct your prayers for your young ones and those in need, and I will direct you. I will show you each time which approach you need to take, whether it's fasting, or committing to a special time of prayer vigil, or organizing a prayer chain. I will show you how you can have a revival in your prayer life, how you can launch a new attack in prayer, how you can redeem more minutes throughout the day in prayer‚ which new methods and approaches to use in prayer.

29. The important thing is that you must prayyou must not give up in prayer, and you must see that the answer is this weapon of prayer, together with the keys and the additional weapons I have placed in your hands. These are your best defense; use these weapons together with faith and trust‚ and stand back and see Me fight for you.

30. I hold your children in My hand. They are Mine first and foremost‚ and I desire that not one is lost. Some have lessons to learn; some will have to pass through raging fires and walk down roads that you, as a parent, would prefer they could escape. This is where your faith will be tested, for you must trust through all of this that I have My hand on them, that I am in ultimate control, and that I will never leave or forsake them.

31. I promise you, your prayers will make a difference. Even in the times when your children seem far from you and far from Me, your prayers can make a great difference in their lives even if they are not with you. Your prayers will help determine their walk in the world. This does not always mean that they will not have to have problems or go through the fire, but your prayers will help determine the outcome. Your prayers will help them to handle the fires. Your prayers will play a part in what they learn from it, how they come through it.

32. So much is dependent on your prayers. Your prayers can do so many things; the frequency and strength of your prayers make a marked difference. I do not ask you to pray, pray, and pray again to bring you to boredom, but so that you can explore new frontiers in prayer, thrill to new ecstasies in prayer, and gain new ground and ever greater victories in prayer.

33. If you parents do not uphold your own in prayer‚ who will? Others might, but I give this great duty of prayer to every parent. I command you to fight for your children in spirit, to always surround them with your prayers. You must not let the Enemy discourage or sidetrack you with his cunning attacks on your tender spots‚ with hurt feelings, discouragement, condemnation, and so forth, but let your tender spots provoke you to prayer.

34. Hold on to your children in prayer, for this is the answer, and this will see them through. No matter how dark the picture looks‚ no matter how far they seem to stray, they are tied to Me and the chains cannot be broken. Where there is life there is hope, but you must do your part—you must see them through with your prayers, you must not doubt for a moment‚ you must fight for them in prayer.

35. For the younger ones who see their older brothers and sisters leaving one by one, as they come of age, the answer is the same—the solutions for these young ones will come through prayer, through prevailing and fighting in frequent fervent prayer. I will give the solutions that are needed through calling on the keys in prayer‚ through asking Me for specifics often and consistently in each situation, through listening to Me and following through on the things I tell you to do.

36. As the great work of My Family was launched in prayer and prospered in prayer, so it must continue in prayer. The battle for your youth and these who are tempted to look to the System will be won through prayer. You can never pray too much. Any time you grow weary in prayer, that is the time for revival!

37. As parents and others catch the fervor and excitement of prayer fire, it will have an effect on everyone. Even the young ones who eventually decide to venture out will have seen the fire and it will affect them, for it will be implanted in their hearts. Just as the helmet of salvation cannot be removed, so their exposure to your prayer fire, your enthusiasm and dedication to prayer, will never leave them, and I will use this to work in their lives. They might try to hide it; they might fight hard to not let on that they know the power of prayer, yet it will be implanted deep within them. As My Word never returns void, so your prayers never return void. Keeping your prayer fires burning brightly is the answer. (End of message from Jesus)

38. (Mama: ) Again‚ this message applies just as much to our kids who are still in the Family. Why wait until they've left to fight for them in prayer? Start today! Obey the Lord's command to labor in prayer for your children. Be a doer of the Word. (For more on the importance of praying for your teens, see also "How to Keep Our Teens," ML #3154, GN 760/Lifelines 24.)

Have Faith for Your Kids!

39. If you are to keep up your "prayer fire" as the Lord wants you to, you'll need to keep the faith for your kids! Sometimes when kids are struggling, hopelessness overwhelms them. They feel "that's just the way I am," and they don't have faith that they can change. It compounds the feeling if they're labeled and constantly told what problem cases they are. "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he" (Pro.23:7), and we know that kids usually adopt the impression of themselves that others have of them. If they're often told that they'll never change, they'll never amount to much, they're undedicated and worldly, then that's how they'll see themselves, and their will to try to change and their faith that the Lord can help them are lost. That's a very sad thing. It makes me cry, because that's not how the Lord wants us to treat our children and young people! That is the opposite of how He treats each one of us!

40. Parents, teachers and shepherds, ask the Lord to give you faith for the children and young people in your care, especially when they hardly have faith for themselves. Kids go through so many battles, they are tossed about with extreme emotions, they struggle so with the Enemy, that if you just listen to what they say or watch how they act and you judge a surface judgment‚ you can easily give up too soon.

41. JETTs and teens are explosive, they yield to anger‚ they express themselves unclearly, and they are prone to isolate themselves and be obviously rebellious. For these reasons, sometimes you parents or other adults are tempted to or actually do throw up your hands in despair! Then you quit trying. This, of course, is very damaging, because then you fail to do what you could and should do. Then you fail to pray for your kids‚ thinking they're past hope. You fail to love and help them through, even when they don't seem to want the help. You fail to continue to be positive and express faith regarding the young person's battles and ability to overcome his or her doubts, anger, frustration, or spiritual problems.

42. So much has to do with you parents having faith for your kids. The Lord is very disappointed that many of our young people have not felt the support and understanding they needed. He said:

43. (Jesus speaking:) I'm sad to say that many kids who are doing poorly, or who have even left the Family altogether‚ feel that their parents lost faith for them. Then they lost faith for themselves. They needed their parents to hold on to them, no matter what. But when the parents let go, then the kids felt like I had let go, and they gave up.

44. Everyone needs someone in their life that understands them, loves them unconditionally, and never gives up on them. Love has creative power‚ and My love never gives up‚ never stops trying.

45. I beg you parents and shepherds, let Me break your hearts for these young ones that bring out the worst in you. You feel so righteous; you appear to be so obedient and good by comparison to the obvious and blatant sins of the young ones. In many cases, it is that very sin of self–righteousness that is impeding the spiritual growth of the children and teens in your care. They need you; they need your unconditional love, acceptance and support. They need you as a role model, a mentor, and a friend. They need to know that you love them and that you will never stop loving them.

46. Sometimes even if you don't understand why a young person is reacting a certain way, or you feel that that JETT or teen is not living up to their potential or training and they're letting you down, that doesn't give you an excuse to let them down. As the parents and shepherds‚ I hold you responsible to let things pass without getting upset and certainly without giving up and showing a lack of faith or even contempt for the child. You are the adult; they are the children. You are strong spiritually and experienced in life. You should be able to sort things out with Me, so that you can unload any of your hurt, frustration, impatience or self-righteous pride before you interact with the young people who depend on you.

47. You need such strong faith and love that you're there for them, even when they've lost faith for themselves. No matter how hopeless they feel about themselves, even when they hate themselves, you need to demonstrate unchanging, constant, warm support and love!

48. You will find yourselves in situations where young people will feel they can't make it. Now that the standard of the Word has become much clearer, and the challenge of the "Conviction versus Compromise" series and the Feast messages have shown what I expect of the children of David, there will be young people who will lack faith that they can make it. Maybe they will even confess that they have doubts about some aspect of the Word, Mama and Peter, the Endtime, or Family doctrine. They might love the Family and desire to continue living in a Family Home, but they might be torn up inside, because they feel they're no longer worthy of that, because they feel like hypocrites. They'll feel their faith is not strong enough, and therefore they can't be My disciple.

49. The key in these situations is to see their desire. Beneath the declarations of their doubts and battles are they really saying, "I believe; can't you help my unbelief?" Are they finally coming clean about the battles they've had, possibly for a long time, wondering if there is any place for them, knowing that "to whom shall I go; you alone have the words of eternal life"? Are they looking to you with their last bit of hope, wondering how you'll react, hoping against hope that you'll have the faith to see them through, to help them over these obstacles and to answer their questions and give them what they need?

50. Dear loves, remember that the hearts of these young ones are tender and moldable. Even if they seem very strong in their feelings‚ even if they seem totally decided‚ once they've gotten things off their heart, if you pray desperately and don't prejudge the situation, you might be surprised at the will to believe in their hearts that is uncovered with time. Many young people are weighed down with unconfessed battles and sins. They have kept things inside for too long. But when they finally do get things out in the open, compelled by the conviction of the Holy Spirit brought about by the New Wine, then they have the chance to be strengthened.

51. Don't give up prematurely. Don't overreact and get upset. Don't be self-righteous and say, "I knew it all along!" Love, pray, understand, weep, support, and never give up! (End of message from Jesus.)

52. (Mama:) Besides the Lord's stirring explanation of what true love is, there is a very important point in this message that I don't want you to miss. As a result of the recent New Wine and the Lord's challenge of full–time discipleship, some young people will declare that they can't be in the Family because they don't believe or they have doubts. The Lord is asking you to not prejudge the situation. Even if they seem very decided and determined that they're just not cut out for the Family, give the Lord a chance to work. It's very possible that once they get their doubts out in the open‚ you'll be able to help them.

53. Of course, if with time they prove to be completely closed to your shepherding, if they don't want help, if they refuse to accept the answers you give them, then that's a different matter. But there will be cases where young people expressing their doubts will be the key to their overcoming them. The Lord is asking you parents and shepherds to be open, listen to their complaints or explosions of doubt and criticism with an open heart, then seek the Lord and wait to see how they react since they've unburdened their hearts. They could be testing your love. They could be under extreme attack of the Enemy and in need of your understanding, prayer‚ and support. If you see that their confessions are really a plea for help, if they want to grow in faith, if they're willing to try, then have faith for them and don't close the door on them or write them off as lost causes.

Keys of the Kingdom Promises

For Our Young People!

54. This is quite a challenge from the Lord! This kind of love and wisdom is impossible for natural man. We need the Lord's supernatural power to attain this. To help you have greater faith for your kids‚ I asked the Lord for some additional keys of the Kingdom promises, specifically for our young people and their spiritual growth. Remember, the keys promises are real, as the Lord explained in "Call on the Keys":

55. Knowing I gave these promises, just as I gave the promises you claim and stand on in the Bible‚ will increase your faith, for you will know clearly that what you're praying for—whether it's healing‚ supply, deliverance, open doors, unity, the power to forgive, whatever—has been accounted for in the power of the keys. When you see your need specifically mentioned, then you have more faith that it's within the power and it's My will to supply that need and to do it through the keys.

56. You know that "faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God." According to that spiritual principle, faith in the keys will come by hearing these promises, and knowing that I want you to claim them in your prayers. I want to work miracles through the keys, but you must release that power; you must claim it and demonstrate your faith in it through calling on it. Just as you claim promises in the Bible and it strengthens your faith, so you can claim these modern-day promises with as much confidence. They are My promises to you and they will not fail you (ML #3368:57-58, GN 962).

Promises you can claim:

57. Call on the power of the keys for the young ones in your care and I will work miracles.

58. I have given you your children‚ and through the keys of the Kingdom, the Word, and My love‚ you have access to all that you need to raise them right.

59. Nothing is too bad, too hard, or too ugly for the miracle-working power of the keys of the Kingdom.

60. Unity between parents and children can be restored through the power of the keys. Claim that power in humility and honesty, and you will find the joy of forgiveness and the power of love.

61. Call on the power of the keys for your children's needs, and your prayers will be powerful. Angelic helpers will be sent, and you will see change, improvement‚ and even miracles.

62. The keys of the Kingdom bring freedom from bitterness. Claim them‚ and you will find the liberty of My Spirit and renewed faith.

63. No child is past being helped by My love, the keys of the Kingdom, and My living Word.

64. I will make you the role model, mentor, friend‚ and shepherd you need to be, as you call on the power of the keys and are a doer of My Word.

65. No matter how deep the hurt‚ how distant the relationship, or how many wrongs have been committed, love can be restored through calling on the keys of the Kingdom.

66. There is no problem too great for the keys, the Word‚ and My love. Call on that power and there will be deliverance, breakthroughs, and spiritual progress.

67. I will give you insight, wisdom, love‚ understanding, foresight, tolerance, communication skills, and all that you need to relate to and shepherd your children, if you will call on the power of the keys of the Kingdom in faith and desperation.

68. When you're at the end of your rope and feel there's nowhere to turn and no solution in sight, call on the keys; they will light your path and make your way clear.

69. The keys of the Kingdom, My love, and the Word are one—this great power of the universe can conquer all evil, solve all problems, and forgive all sins.

70. You can find freedom from self-righteousness and lack of tolerance through the keys of the Kingdom.

71. Children and parents will be brought together in love, respect, and mutual appreciation through the power of the keys.

72. Calling on the keys will lead you to the secret to building a loving relationship with even the most problematic personality.

73. Children can be delivered of every evil work of the Devil through the keys. There is no habit, addiction, or hatred stronger than the power of the keys of the Kingdom.

74. Faith to keep trying in love and understanding will come as you call on the keys.

75. Fight in desperate prayer for your children's future by calling on the keys of the Kingdom. Through such prayer will come the victory you desire.

76. Importunate prayer, calling on the keys, is the most powerful force on Earth. Never give up, keep your prayer fires burning, and you will see miracles.

Text box:

77. (From "Focus on the Power":) As My Father and I are One, so are the keys to the Kingdom and the Word one. … Being an instant doer of My Word is directly linked with your ability to access the power of the keys. Living all the Words I speak to you is directly linked to the power you are able to access. … Nothing can stand against My Word! Nothing can stand against the keys to the Kingdom!

78. Love is the greatest force; My Word is the greatest force; the power of the keys to the Kingdom is the greatest force in the world, in the heavens, in the universe! These three are one, just as My Father and I and the Holy Spirit are one—three separate beings with different attributes, and yet one in the spirit (ML #3374:33‚ 35‚36, GN 971).

End of text box.

United Prayer Power!

79. (Mama:) Besides fighting in prayer for the young people in your care, I want to remind you also of the power of united prayer. Parents and children both should be willing to ask for prayer. I believe you will find that it works wonders.

80. Recently in one of our WS units one of the dear children asked for prayer on his 11th birthday. It was his idea, and he asked his teacher to help him formulate his prayer request. He went to her of his own accord, asking for help in preparing what he would have prayer for before the whole Home. Of course, it's not necessary to have united prayer before the whole Home. If that's too much for your children, or even for you parents‚ you can do so with a smaller group.

81. This young man had the following prayer request: "That I would not argue so much with people. That I would be able to control my temper. The keys promise I claim is: 'Every evil oppression of the Enemy is brought into submission through the power of the keys.'"

82. This same young man has also grown in his faith in the keys. Just a few days before his birthday he was praying desperately about a matter that was of particular interest to him personally. The Lord answered his prayers in a very miraculous way, as he called on the power of the keys. He later testified‚ saying: "I really believe that the keys of the Kingdom can work miracles—I saw the proof! Thank You Jesus!" Take a tip from this, dear parents, that even our children can learn the power of the new weapons the Lord has blessed us with!

Practical Tips!

83. Now I want to share various messages that have practical counsel for some of the difficulties you are probably facing right now. It's extremely challenging to change habits and established patterns of behavior, but the Lord can do it! Peter and I pray that these tips will help things to go more smoothly and bring about faster, happier progress.

84. I will use the question/answer format with little commentary for this part of the GN, as these prophecies are self–explanatory. Please try to find the time to study these. They're packed with many good ideas and suggestions.

nHow to have a new start and break the chains of habit!

85. (Question:) How do you bring more discipline into the lives of spoiled children without them just getting rebellious? And if they do get rebellious‚ what should parents do? Is it inevitable that things will have to get worse before they get better? And if so, what can parents do to make it through the "worst" stage and hang on until things get better?

86. (Jesus speaking: ) If parents have started out with overly lenient standards with their children‚ then habits are formed on both the side of the parents and the children that can be hard to break. The parents habitually react a certain way, and the child reacts a certain way. It's as though an agreement has built up that must be broken. There must be a break in the pattern, which will allow both to build new habits.

87. But if the pattern continues unhindered, then the result is disaster—for the child suffers greatly, and as a result, the parents suffer. And not only do they suffer, but all the people who could have been reached and helped by this child of Mine may not be reached, may not make it to Heaven, may not have the help in their lives that I can give, because the child has not been raised in My nurture and admonition‚ but allowed to grow and develop with bad patterns and even evil tendencies in some cases.

88. My loves, it is as has been said before: The chains of habit can be too strong to be broken except by Me. I can rewire people. I can give a new start. I can build these relationships anew.

89. But first the parents must realize that there is something fundamentally wrong with their approach and must be willing to make a new start. I can't give them a new start, a rewiring, a new set of habits, if they want to hang on to their old ways and just have minor adjustments. The parents need to see that leaving their children to do as they wish, without guidance and without correction when they are off track‚ will be disastrous, and if this is their approach, this is in effect deadly for their children spiritually. And there are also multitudes who will suffer because My plans for a child of Mine will not be fulfilled. So if the parents can shake off their lethargy, rise up out of their selfishness, and realize that the future of their child is at stake, as well as the future of many more of My sheep who this child can reach, this is the first step.

90. If the parents feel they are lethargic, they must first of all ask for deliverance from this influence. They must ask Me and ask themselves if they are truly ready to make a new start. Are they truly ready to change deeply ingrained habits? Are they willing, for the sake of the spiritual life of their child and that of many other people, to make great changes? If they can answer yes to these questions, if they are prepared to change whatever in their lives needs to be changed‚ then I can help and answer.

91. Then before embarking on a new course in their relationship with their child, they must examine their own lives and be sure that they are as disciplined as they should be. Are they allowing System influences to control them? Are they stopping short of obeying Me in My requests concerning adequate Word time, prayer time, time in the bed of love with Me listening to My Words and loving Me in return? Are they truly following Me wholeheartedly to the best of their strength and ability? Are they yielded to Me in being where I want them to be, doing what I want them to do? In other words‚ are the parents themselves dedicated to Me and to My work and to My plan for their lives?

92. The parents can't discipline their children and ask them to toe the line if they themselves are delinquent. They can't be just slipping and sliding by and not expect their children to do the same. It's not that I require perfection; My saints in the Bible and in modern times were imperfect men and women, but they allowed Me to empower them. They gave Me their lives and did their best to follow Me, in spite of their failures and mistakes and shortcomings, and I used them beautifully.

93. Just so, I wish for you parents to be examples of people who are weak in yourselves, conscious of your own lacks and shortcomings‚ not lifted up in pride and self-righteousness, but humble servants of Mine who would give anything to follow Me closely and to do as I ask.

94. Your children will not obey you fully if they see that you are not obeying Me fully. They will not have the respect and the admiration that they need to have to listen to what you say. But if they know that you have given all for Me and that you continue to do so‚ day in and day out, to the best of your ability‚ this will cause your children to have respect for you. And as they see My blessings on your life because of your obedience and love for Me, they will want the same.

95. Next, dear parents, My loves who wish to raise godly and dedicated children, children who love Me—you must ask Me to rewire you, to break bad habits and start new ones. What are these habits? How can you see when you have failed, and in what way you have failed, and which habits you need to change? Often the best way is in counsel with others. Go to those who love you, either shepherds or other parents whose children are doing well‚ and ask their advice. Ask them in what ways you need to change.

96. This can be very hard to do, because perhaps you have even experienced contention with these very parents. Maybe their standard has been higher than yours, and you didn't agree with their approach. Yet now you can see that their fruit is better than yours. So humble yourself and ask their advice! It's never too late to change. It's never too late to humble yourself and ask for specific advice from others. It's never too late to ask for forgiveness for not having had a believing and accepting attitude toward others.

97. You need to be in unity with those you live with to properly discipline your children. Many of you have moved away from others, thinking that it would make it easier to raise your children as you like. But the opposite is true. Often someone else can help to set you on the right course in the discipline of your children, and by living together with others who can help you, there can be better results, and you can learn from others. This takes great humility, great yielding, great acceptance of others' good fruits, and realizing that you are not sufficient in yourself, but that you need the help of others. Sometimes it may be easier for others to discipline your children than for you to do so, until you have established new habits.

98. In the case when you move together with others so that your children can benefit from the discipline and care of others who are more experienced than you are, you can explain the situation to the children. You can say that you have made a new start with Me, and that it's wonderful and exciting and will help all of you to come closer to Me, have more of My blessings, and more good fruit in your lives. You can explain that because of this you will be learning new ways of childcare and teaching‚ and this will result in some changes in all of your lives.

99. Sometimes the children will accept strong discipline more easily from others than they will from you, their parents. However‚ it is very important in this transition period, when you are learning how to be a better disciplinarian yourself, that you don't back down from this commitment. If you move together with someone else so that you can learn better how to discipline your children, it is very important to back up the discipline administered by others to your children. Make an agreement with them beforehand as to what will be allowed and what will not be allowed.

100. Much of the success of making a move like this will depend on your own yieldedness and desire to change yourself and change your relationship with your child. No longer can you be permissive, seeking the sort of weak love of your children that is not respectful and not obedient. This type of love can even cause your child to turn on you, when he or she sees that you have been weak in following Me and are not strong in your convictions yourself. But with children who are old enough to understand, you can explain to them that this is a new start, there will be new things expected, and you are making a change.

101. Explain that it's because you love them. Explain that it will bring My blessings. Explain that in this way they can learn better how to live their lives, so that they will be closer to Me rather than far from Me, and as a result they will be happier in the long run.

102. This will be a big change in the life of your child, so how can you ensure that they will make the change without resentment and bitterness and rebelling in anger? They might feel that it's unjust, that at one time you had one standard and now you have another one, and it's just not fair. They may rebel at the thought of giving up what they consider to be blessings—fun or advantages or just freedom that they like. They may have a very strong reaction, if not handled lovingly and if the change is not explained and prayed through.

103. It will help a lot if you can explain from the Word what is taking place. Use Biblical examples, such as that of Eli who was disciplined by Me for not disciplining his children. The beautiful thing about that incident is that I chose to speak through Samuel to correct Eli. I took a child to tell an older person that he was not handling his children right. So in this story you can emphasize not only the fact that Eli's children were so bad, but that Samuel was close to Me, following Me‚ and that I'm looking for those whose hearts are right toward Me and whom I can use—even if they're children.

104. There aren't many child evangelists in the Family now. There are singers, witnessers, performers, but not evangelists. I say that in the Endtime people will listen to children. They will see their purity and conviction, and will open their hearts and ears to what they say. There have been servants of Mine who started their ministries at young ages, even JETT age or younger, such as Charles Spurgeon, who brought many to Me. That can be true of children in the Family as well. I can inspire and fill them and cause them to bear great fruit as they speak before the nations. This is My desire and My will. So you can hold out the promise of the great fruitfulness that I desire for My children when you explain the change toward more discipline.

105. It's not just a change to more discipline, but it's a change to more concentrated training of prophets and teachers and men and women of God for the future. These little children will be great prophets‚ the flaming evangelists that I spoke of through David. They will win many, and their training must begin now.

106. So if you inspire your children with not just the fact that they're getting more rules or more restrictions, but that they will be given more opportunities and more fulfillment in their ministries for Me, starting at a young age, this will bear great fruit.

107. With regards to young teens, it is unfulfilling and uninspiring for them to have no responsibility. Some of them are dissatisfied or bored, whether they admit it or not, and as a result, they get into mischief. So you, their parents, must find outlets and ministries and jobs for them to do which use their energy and creativity and which channel their abilities, so that they feel My need for them and My call upon their lives. Too many of My JETT-age children or My young teens are bored—bored stiff! This ought not so to be. They ought to be given challenges, jobs, ministries, and responsibility. They ought to feel that they are needed and important. They ought to be filled with the urge to find their ministry, their niche‚ the calling that they have from Me.

108. So when you present to your young teens the idea that you will be changing in the attitude that you have toward them‚ you need to also present the positive—the goal‚ the desire I have to use them RIGHT NOW! Not sometime far off when they're so hardened in their boredom and frustration that they see no way out but to desert Me and to desert the Family! They need to see the need now! They need to feel useful now! They need to know there is an important job for them now! They need to grow up, and to do so, more must be required of them—not just in their behavior, but also in their ministries and their lives for Me.

109. Now for younger children, there is also a challenge to be laid out. You can also find things that they can be responsible for—whether it is the care of their rooms, their pets, their younger brothers and sisters, or whether it is in outreach, singing, witnessing and reaching others. You must always couple your increased discipline with the positive side—the reason for it, the fruits of it‚ and My blessings that will come down as a result of it.

110. Do you understand? The increased discipline must have a purpose attached to it or the child will be discouraged. He or she will feel that it's not fair, that there's no purpose to it or reason for it. But if challenged with the positive as well, there will be a great renewal of a desire to succeed in their lives for Me.

111. My dear ones, I know that there will be some who will not submit to the change that I want to make in your lives and theirs. There will be those who will rebel and try to make your lives miserable for even trying to change in your attitude toward them. So don't be discouraged. This is ultimately the choice of each one. But if you have done what you could in not only adhering to a good standard but in praying and seeking Me about how to administer it, I will not fail you. I love you, and I will not fail to give you the love that you need for your children.

112. Ask Me to show you how I see each one. Ask Me to let you see the pearl that is encased in the oyster, the diamond inside the lump of coal. Ask Me to let you see the future—what I have intended for each one—and then express this to the child. Let them see that you believe in them, that you have faith in them, and that I have shown you a wonderful vision for them, and you don't want to fall short in doing your part to train them and prepare them for this.

113. Ask Me for a great measure of patience, for unending love‚ because it will be a hard transition to make. But as you approach your child‚ not in harshness or legalism, but in firm dedication to what I have shown you about the changes that need to be made, I will bring forth fruit.

114. You are the caregivers, the stewards of these treasures that I have sent you from Heaven. I will not leave you without instruction and guidance in each and every aspect of their care. If you feel you have failed in the past, ask Me how to rectify the situation. Ask Me how you can change your interactions and form new habits, the routines you have become comfortable with involving your child. Ask Me how to encourage your child through the rough times when the discipline is stepped up. Ask Me how to be there for them in times of trouble, without wanting to take away trials that I may send so that My child can be strengthened through them.

115. I love you, My dear parents‚ My custodians of these precious gifts from Heaven—your children. I will not leave you comfortless‚ without counsel. I will give you adequate, specific counsel for each situation you find yourselves in. I will help you and keep you along the way. I will not fail to instruct you as the need arises. And I will keep your children close to Me as you and they obey and follow what has been laid down as necessary for following Me. This will bring blessings upon you!

116. Following Me more closely will bring you into line for receiving so many of My promises and benefits! You'll wonder why you waited so long, why you held on to old habits, why you resisted change. As you change and cling to Me and resolve to do all you can to follow Me, I will bless you and bring you into happy pastures of blessing and feeding and enjoyment, and yes, much greater fruitfulness. For I love you, and you are My delight. (End of message from Jesus.)

117. (Mama: ) The message you just read talked about the need to work in unity and teamwork with others. This was also covered in "Are You a Delinquent Parent?" I can't emphasize enough the importance of this point. It's very easy as parents to become independent regarding the care and discipline of your children, and with time you can become very sensitive and resistant to others' help and counsel. If you're in this state, you're only hurting yourselves and your children.

118. Please understand that you alone don't have every single thing that your children need. You don't have all the answers, all the insight, all the wisdom needed to guide them in their spiritual lives and train them for the future. You really do need the help of others—your peers, shepherds, and other parents or childcare personnel.

119. If you've reached the point, which I believe many of you parents have, where you resent others' involvement in your children's discipline and you're not open to receiving counsel from others, and you certainly don't go out of your way to seek such counsel and genuine teamworking, then you're really missing out‚ and you'll be sorry in the end. Your children will sense the lack of unity in spirit between you and others‚ and the sad result will be that the motives behind their obedience will be shallow. When there is a double standard amongst parents and others in the Home, often the kids obey just because they have to, not because they have a personal conviction in their hearts about doing the right thing. I'm sure you'll agree that the goal is to train our children so that they know in their hearts why they should or shouldn't do things. The goal is to help them have the personal conviction to do right and to shun wrong.

120. There may be times when others who discipline the children come on too strong or are self-righteous in their approach, and this causes you parents to resent or shy away from others' help or counsel. That's not the solution. If disunity erupts between parents and others who interact with their children, please pray together‚ seek the Lord, and work out your differences. Please ask the Lord to help you have the right attitude regarding these points, and pray for a change of heart and mind if needed. Call on the power of the keys, actively put on the Lord's mind, and then fight to obey and be a doer of the Word!

121. (Jesus speaking:) Discipline is never welcomed by spoiled children. However, as much as they may initially resent discipline‚ it's something that they're going to have to accept as part of their lives‚ even if they don't understand all the reasons why they need it.

122. With children who are already spoiled and used to getting their own way, it will be quite an adjustment bringing more discipline into their lives. Children are naturally selfish, and especially with spoiled children, discipline will represent an end to a good deal of their selfishness and willfulness, so they'll initially be quite anxious and rebellious. This is something the parents should expect and be prepared to deal with, as it's never easy for any of My children of all ages to forsake their own ways, their own desires and wants, and start living a more disciplined life. This is especially true of spoiled little children.

123. When more discipline is introduced into the lives of children, there will be an initial period of rebelliousness. This is to be expected, something which I want to prepare parents and caretakers for. The children are covering new ground, and they will flounder around for a while seeing just where their limits are and if these new limits and boundaries are indeed something they will have to adhere to, or if they are negotiable and something which they can weasel out of with certain people. There will be a period of testing, floundering, and rebelliousness.

124. The parents or caregivers who have previously spoiled their children will need to explain to the children what is happening. They will need to sit down with the children and apologize to them for not having given them loving discipline and for spoiling them. They will need to introduce discipline from My perspective to the children and how they have failed their children in not giving them the boundaries and discipline they need. If introduced this way‚ as a new mode of operation‚ one that is My way and My plan for all My children of all ages, then discipline will be more gracefully ushered into the lives of spoiled children. However, if the door is swung open with no mention beforehand of this new "discipline" guest, then the children will be even more rebellious and resentful of this sudden disruption of their modus operandi.

125. Of course, even with a loving explanation and apology given to spoiled children, having more discipline in their lives is never going to be joyously received. This is a situation where parents and caregivers are just going to have to "weather the storm" of any initial rebelliousness and outcries from the children. Parents are going to have to stand their ground no matter what, once boundaries and dos and don'ts have been clearly established with the children.

126. What parents and caretakers cannot do, if they want to achieve long-term success in discipline and training‚ is give in to the children, even if they have been spoiled and allowed to have their own way for a long time. This will be difficult and hard on the parents‚ especially when the parents and/or caregivers may feel responsible and bad for having spoiled the children in the first place. But as hard as it may be on everyone, once you have unitedly determined to have a clear-cut discipline standard and to live by it‚ there is no turning back. This is a commitment that the parents, caregivers, and Home members will have to make if they want to achieve success in changing the behavior of spoiled children for the better.

127. Things will in most cases get worse before they get better, as is the case with many things in life requiring change. Sometimes you take two steps forward, but then one step backward. But despite any backward steps, it is vital for parents to believe My Word and to hold onto My Word and My Scriptural principles that loving discipline in the lives of all children is a necessary and good thing.

128. You may have to read and study My Word and counsel on the subject of discipline to bolster and reinforce your faith along these lines. You'll probably need prayer and yet more prayer, even "booster" prayers to give you the oomph and strength to keep persevering with discipline in the face of seeming despair or seemingly small results in the beginning.

129. Try to calmly administer discipline to the children in a spirit of faith and trust‚ without getting visibly flustered by your children's reactions, which may be quite negative. It's important that the children realize this is just a new fact of life, and discipline is going to be a part of their lives just like eating or sleeping. It's a natural, godly part of their lives and something that is going to happen no matter what. So try not to let their negative reactions to any discipline you administer affect your faith and convictions and demeanor. It's important that you reflect a spirit of trust in discipline as being a good thing, and that they see this trust.

130. Initially it may seem like discipline is creating more havoc, headache, work and effort than it's worth—but you must hang on. The Enemy will likely try to play on your emotions, making it hard on you, making you feel like you're alienating your children. When this happens, cling to Me and My Word. Ask for prayer, come to Me for guidance and encouragement. Hang on, knowing it is worth it, because it's My way, and you will see the rewards of your labors. Hang on, even when emotions and circumstances might be telling you differently, even if your hearts are hurting at the seeming "pain" this new guidance and direction is causing in the lives of your children.

131. The key here is believing—believing that a firm, consistent‚ godly discipline standard is going to benefit your child in the long run. You may not see it in the beginning—and the beginning might be rough, as you learn to navigate the sea of disciplining your children—but I promise you that you will see the fruits of your labors. And I promise you that you will see the best reward of all—happier and more secure children.

132. Children need discipline. They need boundaries. They need the security of knowing how far they can go and how far they can't go. They'll flounder initially‚ but soon they'll settle into the comfort of discipline and feel more secure and loved for it, you'll see. (End of message from Jesus.)

133. (Mama:) If you have been a delinquent parent, when you first start disciplining your children more consistently and more according to the standard of the Word and the Charter, it will no doubt be difficult. Some of you delinquent parents have not said "no" to your kids because you wanted them to be happy, you thought you were showing them love in letting them have their own way‚ and you didn't even see that such an approach to parenting was wrong. But as a result, you've probably developed some bad habits and it will take a lot to overcome them, and it will take an absolute miracle for you to now be able to say "no" to your kids and stick to the standard.

134. We had a situation in one of our WS units where a couple had been delinquent with their children and it had been going on for quite a while. When counseling with the mother‚ I came to the conclusion that she just didn't have it in her to say "no" to her kids. After months or years of indulgence, it becomes very difficult to change your way of reacting and relating to your kids. I honestly didn't think she'd have the strength or the faith for it, so I was desperately seeking the Lord for a solution.

135. Then, like a revelation, the Lord showed me that the secret was in their asking Him! I explained to this mother that she and her husband could sit down with their children and explain how they (the parents) had been wrong, where they had not been obedient to the Word, etc. They could explain to their kids that they now want to put all the Word into practice, including the "Ask Me Everything" instruction‚ so from now on they'd be asking the Lord—and expecting the children to ask the Lord, too—before making decisions. In other words, instead of the kids just naturally opting to get the answers from mom and dad, they would know that mom and dad would ask the Lord‚ which would lead to good training and explanations from the Lord, as well as lots of lessons on prophecy. Whenever the Lord says "no," He does so with lots of love and wisdom. He presents His reasoning in such a way that He knows you'll be able to handle it. So that, of course, makes it much easier for the kids. We've seen that some of our children really respect the Lord and prophecy, and accept instruction better that way sometimes than from their shepherds or parents.

nHow to make the transition easier—children need action and fun!

136. (Question:) In many cases, bringing children in line will require cutting way back on ungodly and unedifying influences in the kids' lives—such things as bad movies‚ excessive or bad computer games, novels, System music‚ too much free time, independence, hanging out with System friends, etc. The kids are not going to like this at all and will likely get rebellious. What can the parents do to make the transition easier? The parents have to give them something in return, but what?

137. (Jesus speaking:) You quote the saying often that "God never takes anything away without giving you something better." As you are examples of Me to your children, this should be a part of your motto as parents, too. You cannot ask for sacrifices to be made unless those sacrifices are somehow rewarded. You can't always give kids just what they want or think they want most—just like I don't always reward you in the way you think you should be rewarded, or answer your prayers exactly as you think they should be answered. You know better what's good for your children, just like I know better what's good for you. Although the reward or replacement of what is lost may not be exactly what you hoped for, at least you're grateful for My love and care in rewarding you, and in time you see the wisdom of My choices.

138. That's how it will be with your children and teens as well. Even if you make wise choices and wise replacements, they may balk at your decisions and at what they're given, but you have to have the conviction that you know better than they what's good for them. And if you're praying and seeking Me and getting My guidance, then you can know for a fact that you've made the right choice and are giving them the right thing.

139. Children and teens will usually claim to prefer computer games and movies to almost anything, and there's not a specific "thing" that's on that same level that they would consider equivalent‚ at least not right off. Something that they do all long for, though, and need, is quality time with quality people.

140. They also need action, motion! There are many ways you can provide that. There are as many ways as there are parents, for each of you has your strong points, the areas you naturally excel in or that I have gifted you in, and within these gifts are things you can impart to your children and fun times you can share with them.

141. I'll list here many things that you can do to keep your children occupied and having fun. Some of these may not sound like that much "fun" right off‚ but in the long run, they will prove to be both beneficial and enjoyable for you and your young ones.

142. 4 Arrange for your children, JETTs and teens to be able to fellowship with other Family children and young people. If there are other Homes in your city or immediate area, try to organize regular fellowships and fun activities. If you live far away from other Homes, make trips or move if you have to, if it's going to make the difference for your kids! If they're hanging out with System friends, they probably don't have enough friends that share their beliefs, so do what you can to find them some and give them opportunities to have fun together with their Family friends.

143. 4 Become better friends with your own children. Do things together. Even things like computer games, movies, and novels can be used for good, if chosen wisely. These things can be channeled, they can be done as a united activity with parents or teachers, rather than being a time for kids to be on their own, shooting the breeze and killing time, and making their own choices in movies‚ games, and books—which are probably going to be bad choices if they've had unbridled access.

144. Of course, even if you provide good books, good movies, and good games, if the children have been used to certain bad ones and really like them, it's going to be a sacrifice for them. But the enthusiasm that you have for the things in better taste and with a more godly standard, and the fact that they can share these experiences with you and still be doing things that are entertaining and interesting, will in time more than make up for it. It may take a little time‚ because their tastes have become perverted, but you can help them little by little to develop a taste for what is good.

145. I'm trying to make it clear here that you don't necessarily have to just take away a certain activity completely because they've abused it; for example, computer games. You can make it a united activity, a time of togetherness, and make joint decisions on the types of movies, games, and books and the amount of time and the conditions under which they will be viewed, played or read. You, of course‚ have the ultimate say as a parent‚ but you should still try to discuss these issues with your kids and get their agreement as much as you can. Be open to a little negotiation‚ and at least hear them out and let them express their reasons for wanting a certain thing.

146. 4 Take your kids places! Every city has some interesting spots or activities that can be enjoyed by families and people of all ages—whether it's the beach, the mountains‚ a zoo, or amusement parks. Kids love doing and moving. Though you can't do these kinds of major events every day, you can do them as regularly as you can, and you can offer them as rewards or incentives for the kids behaving themselves, or for giving up a certain bad activity that they've gotten used to having.

147. 4 Get your children or teens involved with your witnessing ministries. Whether it's tool distribution, singing and performing, follow-up, mail ministry, or whatever type of witnessing you specialize in, help them become a part of it. Singing and performing are not embraced by all children‚ but some can really get into it and just love it, and will be happy to devote their evening hours to learning new choreography or practicing playing an instrument. Or the computer-inclined might completely enjoy learning graphic design and layout‚ and can use those skills for your mail ministry, for advertising and promoting your show group, your distribution tools, etc. Whatever you have the opportunity to teach or let your child learn on their own, with approval and assistance, that could somehow help your witnessing ministry should be what you encourage them in most.

148. 4 They might also have other hobbies or skills they'd like to develop. Maybe those things aren't something you can teach, or something that directly relates to witnessing, but maybe it's something a whole lot more profitable than the time-wasting junk they're filling themselves with now! Ask them what they're interested in learning‚ what skill they'd like to develop‚ or what specialty they'd like to learn about, and do what you can to assist them. Maybe it's something that requires money, and their helping to raise the funds for such a venture is also a worthwhile endeavor as it teaches them responsibility and can even be quite fun, as well as a witnessing opportunity. Maybe it's something that they can learn from one of your friends or sheep.

149. Don't try to push them into what you think is best, but don't just let them push to get their way either, if what they want to learn or do is obviously off track. Find a balance, be wise, and remember that the goal is for them to become responsible, to develop their skills and talents to be able to be used in My service somehow.—Or even if they leave the Family, to be able to fend for themselves and make wise choices and use their talents for the good of themselves and others.

150. Within these ideas and activities there are, of course, yet more options to be explored‚ and beyond this there are more as well. Yet most of the things you can do with or for your children will likely fall into one of these major categories. The key is to be looking out for things that are fun that are also uplifting‚ and it can be work to find them. It's worth it‚ though.

151. The other key is doing things together‚ taking more time with your kids to have fun together. Doing things together, even if they aren't their favorite activity, is something that they'll look back on with affection in their later years. Whereas hours and hours of gaming or movies all blend into one another in time and become truly boring and a drudgery, even though at the time the kids may think it's all they want and enjoy.

152. Remember, children—and even many teens—don't really know what they want; they don't really know what's best, because often they don't know or haven't experienced much else. So it's up to you as parents to help broaden their horizons, to introduce new activities and experiences, to constantly remind them that there's a great big world out there full of things to do that are of value, and to help them as they find their way through it all, to find the things that they enjoy and excel at, and which benefit them and others. (End of message from Jesus.)

153. (Jesus speaking: ) It's all about getting them so busy feeding the lost that they don't miss these other things. If you as parents can get their priorities right; if you can get them involved in activities that help get the message out, and follow-up meetings and Bible classes with sheep; if you can get your kids so hooked on these things, they'll barely notice that they've had to give up some of the other things!

154. What you can start out doing is giving them a time period in which they won't do the things that have become a worldly influence on them. For example‚ you could tell them that for the next month you're going to concentrate on Activated and activities relating to feeding the sheep and getting out the Word. For that month you can say that there will be limited or no computer games or novels, and instead of those times you'll be having Bible classes and you'll be going out witnessing.

155. You're going to have to make it fun for them! Give them some stake in the outreach funds they bring in, or have them reenact the Bible class in their own modern way. You've got to give them liberties, but you can direct those liberties in the right direction.

156. It's not going to be easy at first, but you have to make it inspiring for them by finding ways that make it relate to them. It can't all be talk; there has to be some serious action involved, and in some cases, rewards, or godly competition, or a goal they're striving for. Tell them that if they do well and really get out there, that you'll take them to a special theater showing, or to a fair, or to a water park—and then follow through on it.

157. At the beginning it's going to take a bit of pushing, effort, thought and prayer to get them started—but once you ignite their fuse, they'll explode! I know, because I created them that way. They just need a little help to get going, and once they get moving they will then carry the ball on their own and you'll just have to give them instruction and direction.

158. Take them on a road trip for a month where they're away from all the System influences and aren't able to get involved in worldly pastimes. Challenge them to call on the keys to supply food, fuel and shelter on your trip, or even at home, and involve them in your provisioning and follow-up. Pioneer a new young person area of town; get them involved somehow in reaching other young people with Activated. Do something new with them! I'm not going to kid you into thinking that it's going to be easy and they're just going to willingly give up all these things which are fun and enjoyable to them, but the solution is to give them something better that makes the games and novels and negative movies and System influences pale by comparison. When they start to see lives changed they will get on fire for Me and they'll burn for Me.

159. Your job is going to be a bit more difficult at the beginning‚ because you need to get the ball rolling, but once it's rolling it'll snowball and catch on! Get stirred up yourself! Get excited and start sharing testimonies of how you "met so–and-so today and they took a subscription and were flipped out about it!" Make it exciting! You've got to do a bit of a song and dance to get the kids interested, but once they're there, it'll be much easier and you may find that they're dragging you out the door!

160. It's all about finding their fuse and asking Me to help you light it. I will light their fuses so that they burn brightly for Me, but you've got to help Me prime the pump, and it'll be a bit of work at the start. But once you get the ball rolling it'll carry itself‚ and I'll be able to inspire the kids to keep going. Try it! You'll love it! (End of message from Jesus.)

161. (Dad speaking:) One reason so many of the kids are bored and not stirred up is that they haven't been seeing good samples of the SGAs and adults being stirred up and excited about living for the Lord. If they'll get on board and really get excited and show those kids that there's something worth living and sacrificing for, then the kids are going to get inspired and want to help out and want to live the life of a missionary.

162. There has to be a good reason for them to live it, and if they don't see the SGAs and adults living it‚ they figure there's nothing there that they want or need. But if you'll get the SGAs and adults so excited about Activated and getting out the Word that their Homes are brimming with the vision, then the younger ones will just have to join in and they'll take part in the fun!

163. Once those adults get stirred up, the kids will follow. (End of message from Dad) (Note: For more inspiring tips and counsel on things to do with your kids, see "How to Have a Happy Home" in DB 12, ML #2956:22-25‚ 29-67.)

nRegaining the respect of your kids

164. (Question:) When parents have lost the respect of their children, how can they regain it? What practical steps do they need to take? What should they avoid doing that would only make matters worse?

165. (Jesus speaking:) The first step in correcting the misbehavior of your children and trying to tighten the reins is remembering that it is largely your fault that they got to this state in the first place. As with most things, you have to start with yourself, with an examination of your own heart, and a desire to make changes in yourself before you can expect to start making changes in others.

166. If you've been overly lenient and indulgent with your children for a long time, it's difficult to suddenly step in and enforce more discipline without your kids being really surprised, and getting confused and resentful about this sudden change in policy. But just because it's tough doesn't mean that it doesn't need to be done. This is what I'm calling My Family parents to do, and it will be in your best interests to receive My counsel on these subjects and act on it.

167. So, to begin to make the changes and restore your place of respect in your children's eyes, you need to change your own attitudes first. Ask yourself if you truly believe and understand the need for the changes that your kids need to make. Are you aware of exactly what is not up to standard in their conduct? Are you aware of what the Word has to say on the issues involved? It comes down to being full of your subject and being fully persuaded in your own mind. Kids are sensitive‚ and they will know whether it's just a shallow attempt at surface change in their lives, or if you are really sold on what you're selling and are personally fully behind the changes and improvements.

168. The way for this to happen is through plenty of hearing from Me, and receiving and even asking for godly shepherding and counsel. It can be painful to hear about the mistakes your kids have made and that you have made as a parent, but to hear some of these things, as well as the suggestions of your shepherds on how to improve, is valuable counsel. You have to realize that your objectivity is always a bit skewed, because you see everything through the eyes of love that I have given you for your child. Don't feel bad about this, because this is how I intended it to be. I need you to see your children always with love that covers a multitude of their sins. But at the same time‚ this means that you can't always raise your kids only by your counsel. You have to be open to the suggestions of others, and especially the suggestions of My Word.

169. Once things have been pointed out to you as being amiss, either from Home members, shepherds, the GNs, or some other source, you need to search your heart on these matters. Ask yourself if you support the need for change in these areas, or if you still see such behavior as allowable and acceptable. That is the core of the problem with delinquent parenting. When you begin to compromise yourself‚ you allow the same level of compromise in your children. So to root it out of your kids, you must first root it out of your own heart.

170. If it's difficult for you at the beginning to support the increased discipline and rules, ask Me for My help to have the faith to cooperate with your whole heart. Or ask a shepherd to pray for you‚ or do a Word study to help you gain faith. Many Family members do believe the right things deep in their heart, it's just that with time they've drifted away from some of the core standards in the Word. You'll be surprised how much truth and desire for obedience can come gushing to the surface once you dig back into old Letters long forgotten. Faith comes by hearing the Word of God. That's how to regain your faith and conviction for going ahead with the challenging job of changing your kids.

171. So, once you're fully persuaded in your own mind that what I'm asking you to do is what needs to be done, you're probably going to be in the mood for action, for starting the reforms that need to happen. This is a very crucial and delicate time in your kids' lives. You can't just come in yelling and screaming and laying down rules right and left and trying too hastily to change things. Two of the first things you should do are:

  1. Pray! Get My answers on how to approach it with firmness‚ yet with love and gentleness. Ask Me for the right methods and motivational ways to reach your goal.
  2. Read appropriate Word, including on how to motivate children and on shepherding skills. Whether you're an official shepherd with a title or not, you are a shepherd to your children, and some of the basic Letters on shepherding, both new and old, are perfect for you to read at this time—Letters such as "Prayer for Love and Mercy‚" "Love Never Fails," "Loving Shepherding and Interaction," and so on.

172. It's important that you take those two first steps in order to get things started on the right foot—to come in with the appropriate firmness, yet also show the appropriate restraint from trying to do too much all at once. Ask Me for patience.

173. Something that would also greatly benefit you at this time would be to recall major changes that had to come about in your own life. Think about times when you've had to get major shepherding and correction. Think about the S2K, or the "Conviction vs. Compromise" series, and other milestone changes in your life.

174. Did you just get My message and then you were cured overnight? Were all your wrong attitudes and ingrained responses swept away in one day, and from then on you were a happy, yielded, obedient‚ 100% disciple? Most likely not. Most likely you needed time and help and shepherding to fully expunge what was old and wrong‚ and to learn to desire to take hold of the new. And quite likely you're still working on it. Many of you parents are also still in the middle of some personal change and are still desiring greater progress in your personal life. I'm making this point to help you remember that such changes aren't completed in short amounts of time, and to bring them about requires patience.

175. Armed with this information, and hopefully My personal words on the subject, you should be ready to start making some changes in your kids' lives and modes of operation. At times like these there is no substitute for My personalized counsel, because what could help one child greatly may not work for all. But something you could generally consider, depending on your level of communication with your kids, is to have a talk and explain what's happening, how the Lord is moving‚ and how it will affect them.

176. The best way to start such a talk is to relate it to yourself. If you can get in the same boat with them, you'll be a lot better off in terms of their respect. You can admit upfront that you've done things wrong‚ you've needed correction yourself, and "now the Lord is expecting more from all of us, and that includes me and you." Tell them that some of what you've allowed them to do has not been right and it makes the Lord sad, and it causes disunity and a lack of fruitfulness, and that you're going to try to change things. Admit that you don't know all the answers and that you're still learning and changing yourself, but that you're going to try to the best of your ability to start leading your family in the right ways, and you will begin by setting a good example yourself.

177. Then you can share details about the specific ways that changes need to be made in their behavior. This will help them start to see you in a new light, and it will dawn on them that times are changing, and hopefully they will have a better idea of the reason why such things need to be done. This is when being fully persuaded in your own mind will come in handy, because a lot of the kids won't see any problem with how things have been. They like the way they've been acting and they've enjoyed being able to get away with so much. This is when you need to share what you learned and how you came to the realization that "the right way is to obey, and that come what may, we have to obey the Lord and our shepherds; any less leads to rebellion, doubts, and alienation from the Lord, His will, and His Family."

178. It will depend on your children's age, level of maturity, and degree of disobedience as to whether they require this direct approach. Depending on the circumstances, or in the case of younger children, you might need to give more explanation in terms they can understand, allowing for more back and forth exchange. Ask Me each time, and I will lead you as to how to best explain things to your children on their level, in terms they can relate to and best understand.

179. After your initial "breaking of the ice," you'll have to proceed consistently‚ gradually, and firmly. A plant that has grown crooked is never straightened by fast, brutal chops and whacks back into place. It's strengthened and straightened by constant restraint or pressure to grow in the right direction, and being restricted from growing in the wrong direction. This is the key to getting your kids back under the standard of the Word. Don't overburden them with too many new rules and mandates‚ but rather correct the bad behavior as you see it, and try to only work on one or two main things at once. Ask Me for a priority list of what's most important to tackle first. Of course, you should not tolerate bad behavior, but in all of this you're trying to do more than just purge the bad behavior. You're trying to build new habits as well to replace the old, and this you cannot do too quickly or all at once. So prioritize.

180. At the same time, you need to show them the brighter side of obedience. They need encouragement and rewards for the good that is done. You need to teach them that "the Lord always keeps us happy, if we make Him happy." You need to show them that "the Lord allows plenty of entertainment and joy, if we're faithful to stay within the bounds that He has set for us." The awards and compensations and replacements will be different in every case, so please do pray and ask Me what are the best things to use for each child.

181. But no matter how much of this counsel you use, how many rewards you enact, and how gentle and loving you are‚ it's still a difficult job. It will try your faith and test your patience. You'll have to be willing to commit yourself to the long haul, because if you begin to try to re-establish their respect for you and the standard but then you give up because the fight is too long, you will leave your kids worse off than before‚ with even less of a respect for you and any changes you try to make in the future. So don't start‚ then stop and start again. Start once and keep at it! (End of message from Jesus)

nTo help your children, develop an appetite for the things of the spirit

182. (Question:) We know that the things of the spirit are the most important to turning kids around, but the parents can't just cram the Word and Word-based activities down their kids' throats in a threatening, demanding way; that will be counterproductive. How can parents make those things attractive to their kids who might not have much spiritual hunger?

183. (Jesus speaking:) The surest way to teach your children something is through your own sample—not what you preach at them, not what you tell them they should do‚ but what you yourself believe and act upon. If the things of the spirit are important to you and you love Me and have the heart of a missionary‚ it will rub off on your children.

184. The first step to helping your children develop an appetite for the things of the spirit is to start with yourself. Ask Me what you can do to draw Me in more, in your words and your actions as well. If you aren't putting Me first in your life, if you don't desire the things of the spirit above the things of the flesh, then how do you ever expect to pass it on to your children? And if you try, they'll be turned off by your self-righteousness.

185. Practically speaking, you have to get serious with Me about your goals, attitudes, and perspectives on things. This isn't to say you have to always be serious or can't have fun; but no matter what you're doing, you can find a way to bring Me and the lessons of the spirit into it. If you're a parent whose children are in the care of someone else most of the day while you go out witnessing or do other ministries, then it's only natural that you want to spend whatever time you do have with your children having fun.

186. So have fun! Make a snack with your children while you sing praise songs to Me together, or tape record your own Word-related drama‚ with each of your children choosing a different character's voice. Take your children on a nature walk and collect different kinds of leaves, and in the course of your walk, talk about how much fun I must have had creating the world. Ask them what kind of flower they would have designed if they could, and then check out the encyclopedia to see if I made something similar. When you play board games or other games‚ call on the keys for help with the answer, or what have you. While you're caring for your pet, talk about My love and how I care for you and keep you safe, etc.

187. It comes down to being faithful to acknowledge Me and bring Me into every activity that you do. That is what will inspire your children to do the same. (End of message from Jesus.)

188. (Jesus speaking: ) The main goal is to train your children to develop a personal relationship with Me—a relationship that doesn't depend on anyone else to be kept alive. This is going to be their greatest strength in the years to come—their love for and closeness to Me—because that is the standard by which they will measure everything. Their link with Me is what will keep them, protect them, instruct them, and give them power and anointing in time of need.

189. Strengthen this link through your sample, and through establishing a firm foundation in the Word—not only in the allotted hour or two of Word time daily‚ but in your schooling‚ in your play, in your daily interaction with them. Glorify Me. Bring Me into your conversations. Let them hear you asking Me everything. If you knew how important it is for them to establish a solid connection with Me, you would make much more of an effort to give them the sample that they need of someone who loves and respects Me and comes to Me first.

190. Refer to the Word you've read‚ to the things you're memorizing. Make practical applications of the Word in everyday life as often as you can. Make it a goal to be partly responsible for sparking a fire in their little hearts that will burn brightly and become their salvation in the dark days ahead.

191. It's also important to pray for and work toward instilling in them the heart of a missionary, the heart of David and his love for the lost. This takes extra effort, but there are plenty of examples in My Word and in the words of your Father David to teach the children what being a missionary is all about. Pray for the missionaries. Encourage them to write to or send gifts to those on the frontline fields when they can. Help them to be more aware of the goals of the Family, the history of the Family, and your whole purpose for living, which is to lead others to Me.

192. Do your children know what they've been put on Earth for? Do they have a vision for the job they will soon be called to? Do their hearts break for the lost and those who are dying without having known My love? Do they understand what they see in the Vine videos, and do they receive enough explanation about what's going on? Do they know the stories of the heroes of faith and the missionaries who gave their lives to searching out and saving lost souls? Do they have the conviction in their heart that they have a purpose for living and the driving motivation to do what they can, which is learning how to witness and preparing for the time when I will call them into a more open ministry? Are they stirred up and on fire? If not, then ask yourself what kind of sample you're being, because most likely they're emulating you.

193. When it comes to training children, you cannot point them to the way they should go; you have to lead the way and they will follow. If you're lacking inspiration or vision and you don't know what your calling is, chances are that's exactly how your kids feel, too—every day is just another ho-hum day to play and have school and get-out and eat and go to sleep. Why should they obey and press in to learn? What's the point if it's just another day‚ just like the last? Without a vision the children perish.

194. But you have the power to inspire them‚ to give them the world vision, to help them to understand how important they are to Me, and that each one of them has a calling and they don't have long to prepare. Once they understand that, you'll notice the inspiration level soar! They'll want to learn all they can while they still have the chance. They'll want to obey because they finally have a long-term vision and a reason to be living. Give them a life, not just an existence. What power you hold in your hands—power to shape a future! And you just might find your inspiration and vision renewed as a result! (End of message from Jesus.)

195. (Mama: ) We pray that this counsel has been an inspiration to you, has increased your vision, and given you greater faith and conviction to do all you can to be that sample of an on-fire, obedient, happy disciple. So much depends on you, dear parents! Peter and I are praying for you, calling on the power of the keys, and claiming the keys promises for your success in this wonderful challenge. The Lord can help you to be the role models and disciplinarians you need to be! He wants to, and nothing can stop you if you just don't give up. We know you can do it‚ and you and your children will be so much happier as a result! God bless and keep you fighting in intercessory prayer, the power of the keys, the Word and our wonderful Husband's love!

With much love in the Keeper of the Keys,

Mama

Questions to ask the Lord:

  1. Dear Lord, which of my attitudes are not in line with the Word, and how are they holding me back from obeying the Word regarding the discipline of my children?
  2. Jesus‚ You said: "Don't overburden [your children] with too many new rules and mandates, but rather correct the bad behavior as you see it, and try to only work on one or two main things at once. Ask Me for a priority list of what's most important to tackle first."

  Lord, can You please tell me what one or two things I should focus on first with my children?

3)How is my teamworking with others regarding the training and discipline of my children? Am I truly open to others' input and ideas and even correction? If not, what's causing me to be resistant and what should I do to overcome it?

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