DO 2519 4/89

—And Prayer for Backsliders!

1. I've had to suffer many losses, but none have been insufferable & most have been good & understandable, except Deborah! But I guess I had to have one like that. She is the worst! The Lord Himself had betrayers. He Himself had a Judas!

2. My God! The Lord has been so good to our children! (David & Techi) They haven't yet had to suffer the loss of any close relatives. Our children haven't yet had to experience such a loss, whereas losses must come. I have lost grandfathers & grandmothers & mothers & fathers, aunts & uncles & a sister, a son, a daughter—over 20 close relatives—& I survived.—Including many dearly beloved like Doctor Koger, & others that hurt like Deborah & Rachel.

3. I think Emanuele still loves me. Don't you? (Maria: Yes, Sir! Yes, I don't know why he wouldn't.—And even Timothy.) I still love him, too, although they grieved me. Those are the ones that hurt. But I think they still love me, don't you? (Maria: Yes‚ Sir!) They hurt me by deserting, by leaving me. Even Jethro I love, but he hurt me by leaving me after all those years.

4. I still love the backsliders! As the Lord said, "I am married to the backslider."—Jer.3:14. They hurt me, but I love them. And do you know what? I think many of them still love me, like Joab, Joel & Carmel & some of those. Don't you think they still love me? (Maria: Oh, yes, Sir!) Because I still love them! (Dad weeps.) Yes, how could they hurt me like that? That's the worst loss‚ even death is not as big a loss as those that forsake me.

5. I pray for our children, that they may be strong to stand the loss of those they love, even their little pets, because loss must come & death is inevitable.—And it teaches us so many lessons. I've lost grandparents & aunts & uncles & cousins, mother & father‚ sister, children, wife, loved ones‚ close ones, so many! I was just counting them, probably around 30 close ones of those that I loved & those who loved me once.

6. Yet I'm still here! I survived all these losses without total injury. Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus! Praise You Lord!—So my children can, too! Thank You Lord! There are those closer to them than relatives, those they love & know & live with, whom they would miss more‚ & many of whom they have already lost & left behind.—And they've survived because they are strong. They love Jesus most. Amen? (Maria: Yes‚ Sir! Amen!)

7. I was just thinking about that.—Deaths that must come. But they who die in the faith are precious & wonderful & are easy to bear. It's those deserters, backsliders, betrayers, those who have left us, turned against us, those who have tried to hurt us, those are the ones who hurt.—The Judases that we loved, the betrayers that we loved.

8. "How oft would I have gathered them under My wings, but they would not!"—Mat.23:37. My God, how could they, Lord? "The time will come, the Time of Shame when they will come & they will be ashamed, but they will return." Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus! Praise You Lord!—"The Day of Return in the days to come!" Thank You Jesus! Because I am married to the backsliders, & I love them & I desire them. And I want God to forgive them & return them to me, & for them to know that I love them, though they have hurt me deeply & betrayed me to our enemies!

9. My God, how could they do such hurt? Why do they hate me? It's jealousy! "Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated."—Rom.9:13. It's God's doing‚ & He Himself decides those who will be forgiven & those who deserve punishment.

10. I was just thinking‚ God has been so good to us & it's been so easy. We've had nearly all happiness & almost no sorrow, so I've been wondering what's next. There must be sorrows, but our children will be strong & stand them. Even if they lose me they will be strong & they will stand in my words & in God's Word. They will be strong! Nothing shall deter them! Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus! Praise You Lord! In Jesus' name! Amen? (Maria: Yes, Sir! Amen!) The little ones & the big ones. Thank You Jesus! Hallelujah! What is that Scripture?—"Offenses needs must come."—Sorrows, betrayal, backslidings, denials needs must come, "but woe unto them through whom they come!"—Mat.18:7.

11. Thank God for those who have remained steadfast, immoveable, loyal, faithful! My God, the faithful are so wonderful, so precious! Amen? (Maria: Yes, Sir!) Yes, it's wonderful! You know them. You are the Chief amongst all of the most faithful, & Peter & so many more—we cannot number them all—are still with us, still loyal, still faithful, still strong & mighty!—The mighty ones, the faithful, the strong who shall shine in the Judgement as the stars in the Heavens! Hallelujah! Thank You Lord! They who win many to righteousness, the wise who shall shine as the stars!—Even more than me.

12. I'm really not very much. I'm just a delivery boy that gives'm the messages God gives me. But I have tried to be faithful. I have tried to do His Will & give His Word, so maybe I'll make it & maybe I will receive His commendation for having delivered His Word to all these. Amen. Amen.

13. Do you think the Lord will receive me for this? (Maria: Yes! There's no doubt about it!) Because I have given them His Word & been a faithful delivery boy. That's all I am, Honey, I'm nothing. I'm just a little messenger boy, that's all, & I just give them His messages. Hallelujah! TYL! In Jesus' name!

14. I don't know why they hate me!—Why these betrayers & backsliders go back, when all I did was love them‚ try to win them & help them. But my God‚ they were so jealous! So selfish! They wanted too much for themselves. They couldn't be satisfied. My God! How pitiful, how awful, how terrible is the way of the backslider!

15. Oh God! Have mercy, Lord! Yet have mercy, in Jesus' name. I was just praying & wondering & asking the Lord if our children could stand bereavement, sorrow, death of loved ones, but I believe they can. I think they have strong faith, a good hold on the Lord & His Words, so that they can stand even great bereavement.—Even the loss of me.

16. Do you think they could stand the loss of me? (Maria: I believe they could.) I think they're firmly grounded in His Word, & they really love Jesus. And I believe they'll be very loyal to you, Honey. I often think about that, if they could stand to lose me. And I believe they could, don't you? (Maria: Yes, Sir‚ I think they could.) Because they'll still have you‚ Honey. And you are even stronger than me! Praise You Lord! Thank You Jesus!

17. I want to make sure & know for sure. I hope I've given them enough. (Maria: More than enough, Honey! More than enough, much more than enough!) (Tongues & weeping:) I only want to know that I have been faithful & I've given them enough & I've helped them enough. (Tongues: )

18. I don't want to fail them. Do you think I've helped them? (Maria: Very much! Much more than they could ever ask or think.) Do you think they'll still love me? (Maria: Of course, Honey!) Do you think they'll remember me? (Maria: They'll never forget you! How could they forget you?)—And that I loved them & tried to help them? (Maria: Of course! Of course, they'll remember you more than anyone!)

19. All my children? (Maria: Yes, all of them!) Really? (Maria: Yes, really! There is no question about it!) You don't think I've failed, though? (Maria: Honey‚ you couldn't ever think of failing them! You've done more than we can ask or think! Above & beyond anything that you had to do, you've poured out everything!)

20. They know all my weaknesses, they know all of my failures. Do you think they understand? (Maria: Oh yes, Honey! They definitely understand.) You don't think I failed them? (Maria: Never!) Oh yes, but I have!—And don't you see that even my failures & weaknesses taught them something? (Maria: Oh yes, they've been wonderful for them!)—To show them it's only Jesus! I can't do it, they can't do it, only Jesus can do it!

21. Do you think they will love me? (Maria: I know they love you, Honey.) And not feel that I failed them?—Even if I die? (Maria: No, Honey‚ they know Jesus is in control.) Will they still love me? (Maria: They'll never ever stop loving you!) Even if I fail them & die? (Maria: You won't be failing them, Honey. You'll be helping them from the Spirit World. They'll know that's the Lord's Will.) Even if I die will they still love me? (Maria: More than ever!)

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