July 19, 2003
FSM 248 / FN 357
—Part Three of a Three-Part Series
Summit '92, Special Issue
Copyrighted December, 1993, by Family Services, Zurich, Switzerland
In the two previous parts of this series we've been talking about loving shepherding & how to take care of people. In the first part we shared some Word on the subject, various practical tips, & different true-life examples. We also introduced some new shepherding Home Requirements that we believe will help Shepherds schedule their time & priorities so that our adult & YA Home Members will be better shepherded. In the second part of this series, there were numerous optional questions to be used with OHRs, Personal Time & open-forum discussions, as well as comments about the use of OHRs, three new OHR forms, & some helpful tips about "Shepherding by Wandering Around". Along with the second part we published Christian Digest #9, excerpts from a book entitled "A Passion for Excellence—the Leadership Difference".
Putting these different pubs together, you have quite a gold mine of valuable counsel. But if you happen to be a Home Shepherd, especially one who has not had a lot of personal training in shepherding or much experience working directly with your over-Shepherds, you might still be wondering, "Well, exactly how do I show love to my flock? What do I do? What do I say? How do I make people feel loved? How do I know if I'm doing the right things, or doing enough?"
Well, by now you may have a pretty good idea of how you're doing in your shepherding & you have probably gotten quite a bit of feedback from your flock through the adult/YA pow-wow that you had after reading "Loving Shepherding Part 2" & the accompanying Christian Digest. By now you may very well have come to the conclusion that there is room for improvement in your shepherding, & you're hoping to make some changes & do better.
At the Summit '92 Meetings, during a Sunday Fellowship, Peter asked the staff members, "What is a loving Shepherd? What do you consider to be the qualities of a good Shepherd, & what actions or reactions from your leaders especially touch & encourage you & make you feel loved?" Later the same questions were asked of Dad & Mama's staff, & various WS Units. In this FSM we are publishing some of the candid thoughts, feelings, ideas & experiences that were shared. You will notice that many of the points are just little things, little sweet tender precious memories, which have stayed in someone's heart & mind, & which are still a source of encouragement to them.
It's important to remember when reading this FSM that this is a compilation of many people's comments, which have been drawn from their personal experience with many different, well-trained Shepherds over a period of many years. Of course, it's impossible for any one person to have all the qualities talked about in the following pages, so please don't look critically at your Shepherds or judge them if they seem to fall short in some of these points. Since our Homes are now shepherded by Teamworks, we pray that all the gifts, talents & personality traits of your Home Teamworkers combined will hopefully include many of the following points. But we stress that no one is perfect, no Teamwork is perfect, & we're not publishing these tips as a license to criticise your Shepherds.
Besides, the lessons & tips in this FSM don't apply only to Home or Area Shepherds. As was explained in the first part of this series, we are all Shepherds to some degree. The points in this FSM can be applied to the care & shepherding of our mates & personal little families, our school groups, the people in our department, the young people we have Personal Time with, or our inter-relations with each other, including our JETTs and teens' interaction with their peers & younger brothers & sisters. As Mama said, "If we ask ourselves, `Am I my brother's keeper?' (Gen.4:9), the answer is obvious. Of course we are our brother's keeper!" (DB2, ML#1793, page 344.)
We pray we can all take to heart the lessons in this FSM & seek the Lord about how we can apply them to our individual situations & interaction with others, so that we can all become more loving Shepherds. Before each person's comment or suggestion of what they consider to be the qualities of a good Shepherd, we have also included yes/no boxes, so you can evaluate yourself on how you are faring as a good Shepherd! And remember, when Jesus said, "Lovest thou Me, feed My sheep," He was making us all Shepherds, responsible to minister His Spirit to others. We love you & pray this FSM will be a good reminder to all of us of what good & loving Shepherds really are.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A good Shepherd is faithful to regularly & lovingly greet people when he sees them. He greets everybody he comes in contact with during the course of his daily rounds, etc., & not just those he is the most fond of. He is faithful to try to greet every single person.—And it's not just once in awhile, or when he feels like it. Surely there are times he doesn't feel like it, but he's just real faithful to show you that you mean something to him, you're important to him, important enough to stop whatever he's doing & greet you.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
You feel very comfortable & at ease around loving Shepherds. I'd say that with most of the Chain leaders I was around, it was the opposite. You'd feel nervous around them, uneasy, a little bit on edge. With good Shepherds, you want to be with them. It's not like you want your time with them to hurry up & end, but you like to be close to them.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds are encouraging about your NWOs. I've had them encourage me & say, "Oh yes, you're doing much better with that NWO. God bless you! You must've really been working on it." For leaders to give encouragement like that is important, because everyone needs praise & encouragement.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Along the line of NWOs, whenever my Shepherds have asked for united prayer when they were battling something, it's been a real good sample to me of being desperate and dependent on the Lord. Also it showed they need help & prayer, just like the rest of us.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
One sample of loving Shepherds is they try to be faithful to acknowledge the Lord & pray in every situation, so you feel that things are Spirit-led. It's so comforting to be around Shepherds who are prayerful.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Another important thing about good Shepherds is that no matter how bad a mistake you make or how much you blow it, they don't show shock or horror. They're not "blown away" by something you do, no matter how bad it is. They always keep a positive attitude about it, which really helps, because usually when you really blow it, you're feeling pretty badly about it yourself. But they don't go, "Ohhhhhhh! You did that??!! Eeekkk!" They just take things in stride, & no matter how bad it is, they continue to have a real full-of-faith positive attitude. Of course, they may need to talk with you about your mistakes, to help you correct them.
You can't be too bad for them. I remember an incident when I first came to one Home: I opened my heart & poured out to my Shepherdess about all the past & bad things I've ever done in my life, & that was pretty bad! The next time I saw her I felt like, "Oh dear, what is she going to say?" I met her on the walkway & she looked up & said, "I'm proud of you for sharing all that!" I felt like, "Wow! I should've done that sooner!"
[ ] Yes [ ] No
The best Shepherds faithfully share their lessons. When things happen, they draw lessons & share their lessons spontaneously, which shows a lot of love & humility. They don't try to be perfect examples of people who never make mistakes or who don't have lessons to learn. Often when they have to judge situations or if they hear about a problem someone has, they'll think about themselves & say, "I do the same thing in those areas," or, "I react the same way sometimes." They are not self-righteous or critical or condemning.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Whenever my Shepherdess corrects me about something, first of all she asks me to explain what happened. She doesn't just take what she heard from someone else. Then she tries to find out the reasons why it happened. Was I just plain being negligent, or did my angry impatience lead to a mistake, or was I sick that day with a headache or a backache? She doesn't just dive right in with a How could you have possibly done such a thing?" But she lets me explain & then she helps me to see how I could do better next time. She even brings up some of the instances where she made the same mistakes & what lessons she has learned through it. If it is a serious mistake, she points that out & discusses with me how we can rectify or redeem the situation. If there is correction involved, she lovingly & sympathetically lets me know about it & I get the feeling that she wishes that she didn't have to correct me.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Even when you do something completely the wrong way & you have to be corrected, a good Shepherd will still be encouraging so you won't feel too badly. Even when it's obvious you did something wrong, he really goes out of his way to make you feel comfortable & not condemned or embarrassed.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds are very considerate of your schedule. Say they want to do something with you at 3:00 in the afternoon, if at all possible, they'll let you know in the morning by saying, "Is it okay if we go over this at 3:00?" That allows you to plan your day so you can fit in everything else you have to do & it's not a rush or jolt in your schedule.
They are also very considerate of your time & energy, not wanting you to work too hard or go out of your way unnecessarily.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A good Shepherd keeps his word & is on time. Unless some unexpected emergency comes up, he'll be on time. He doesn't keep you waiting. If for some reason he is going to be late, he lets you know & will be very considerate & respectful of your time. He will be polite & courteous. For example, if he can't be at dinner on time because he has to go to a meeting or something he'll say, "Could you please excuse me? I've got this timely work to go over with my Teamworkers." He'll take the time when possible to explain why he can't be with you for a certain event or activity, which is very considerate & makes you feel a part & included.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds think in terms of solutions instead of problems. In other words, when there is a problem or even if you made a mistake, they take the approach of finding a solution instead of laying the blame.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
There are several sides to every story & a good Shepherd has enough love to try to see all sides to the story. He doesn't just read one report or hear one side of the story & pass judgement. He'll leave himself open to other possibilities & all sides of an issue or a story.—And he counsels & prays with others about it.
He has a really good quality of having empathy & concern for the sheep. He understands, he is able to feel the pain, & he tries to understand both sides. He tries to be objective in his judgement, & he doesn't always just take it for granted that things are so just because of one person's angle or the way one person sees it. He's real thorough & clear.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Loving Shepherds have a knack for asking direct questions in order to inspire deeper, more personal conversation. They'll ask questions that help you open up like, "What was the biggest thing that happened to you this week?" This puts you on the spot, but in a good way, not a bad way. They're usually direct & to the point. They don't just try to make idle conversation, but they try to make the time they have with you really count.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds are like normal people. They don't put on airs & make you think they are special or more important than everyone else. When you're around good Shepherds you sometimes have to remind yourself that they are leaders, because they're so humble & sweet & willing.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
When a loving Shepherd has something to point out to you he tries to say it in a really sweet way.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A good Shepherd is quick to forgive. No matter how bad a mistake you make, he shows forgiveness & love.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds show a good example of forgiving & forgetting. They don't hold your past sins & mistakes against you.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Loving Shepherds are very concerned with people's comfort. They show love by going out of their way & going the extra mile to make others feel welcome & comfortable.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherds' simplicity in the way they live is such a good sample. It's just amazing how they make do with the little they have.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherdess is very reassuring when she wants to talk to me, she doesn't make me feel worried. She'll say, "I need to talk to you, can you come to my room? Don't worry, you're not in trouble, I just want to talk to you about such-&-such."
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherdess is very faithful to make sure that I understand any instructions she gives me. For example, sometimes she'll give me a list of things I need to do, & then she'll go on to talk about other things. Then at the end of our conversation she'll go back & briefly repeat the list of what I need to do as a reminder, so I can be sure I got it all & understood the instructions.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A good Shepherd doesn't greedily take the best things for himself & his family (or children).
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A good Shepherd has faith that the Lord is going to change you. He doesn't get mad or impatient; he's consistent in his correction, & has faith that eventually you'll come around.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
It's so sweet when our Shepherd is concerned that we have our needs met. He'll take a little time to occasionally ask you, "Are you happy? Do you have everything you need? Is your bed comfortable? Is everything okay?" That shows concern & that he wants us to be happy & well taken care of.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A good Shepherd shows concern about you after you've had to have some correction. He'll check on you after he's corrected you, to make sure you're okay & to pray with you.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds understand & have compassion on those who are weak physically. They're concerned about whether you need to take a nap or if you just started your period & you need extra rest. Loving Shepherds make you feel that the worker is more important than the work. To them the work is the workers. The work is important, but the workers are more important, because without the workers you don't have any work. They see long term. They don't mind investing in the workers, or giving people time to rest, or giving you time to get in the Word if you are having some problems & need to get strengthened spiritually, or whatever the need is.—Because in the long run it doesn't pay to plow over the workers just to get the work done.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds not only speak highly of everybody in person, but in private also. Although many times they have to discuss a problem, or a person's NWOs, they "love the sinner, but hate the sin," & their goal is to help you. They really love & respect the people in the Family. It reminds me of Jer. 29:11: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, & not of evil."
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherdess is very faithful when someone says something nice about somebody else to pass it on to that person. Just last week she repeated something encouraging to me that someone had told her about me. She said, "I just want to pass that on to you, I thought that would be really encouraging for you." It's really nice if you know that people speak nicely about you behind your back. I thought that was really sweet & considerate of her to share that with me.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
If you have to be away from the Home for a few days, or even just a day or two, when you come back & your Shepherd says, "We really missed you," it means a lot!
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherd will often say, "Thank you for your patience with me." He has had so much patience with us, but then he sincerely says, "Thank you for your patience with me." It makes me really love him.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
It's sometimes the little things, the little times when a Shepherd shows that sweet personal love that's so special—a little hug or kiss. It's just one of those little things that are really big things. It may only take 30 seconds, but it's so special when they take that time to show you personal love. Good Shepherds are affectionate & faithful to give hugs & show people they really care & truly love them.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
One time my Shepherd came into our room while we were sleeping to pray for one of the sick children. He's faithful to go around to check on things. He had heard that one of the babies had a cold. He came in real quietly & gently leaned over her crib & prayed a really fervent prayer, "Lord, I rebuke this cold, in Jesus' name! Now take it away & heal this baby, Lord!" It was a real sweet, concerned prayer.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds are fun to be around. They're cheerful & humorous, not to just make light of things, but to try to make things real easy & fun. They do their best to make you feel at ease.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Another special trait that good Shepherds have is that they're not sarcastic. Sarcasm is harmful, even when done in a joking way. Good Shepherds say what they mean. You don't have to read between the lines of sarcastic jokes, they're not trying to hint at something. They're unpretentious.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Another good quality of my Shepherdess is that she carries a spirit of faith. Her positive, encouraging, uplifting attitude & spirit is contagious; it helps me to have a good, trusting, praising spirit. She carries & portrays a spirit of faith & confidence in you as a person, which is also very encouraging.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherd is a sample of real love in that no matter how big & important the problems he is dealing with are, he is very concerned about the state of his Home—if anyone is having trials or battles, or if anybody needs prayer. He's very faithful to take care of his flock. It's important to him that everybody's happy & has all their needs met & that nobody's going without needed prayer.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherd manifests love in that he's someone who has been touched with the feeling of our infirmities. When I was having jealousy battles, I knew I could go to him. His desperation about my jealousy battles showed me he knew exactly what I was going through. Also, if I ever expressed that someone else was going through jealousy battles, he would stop his work & say, "Jesus, please do bless & help that person & rescue them from these horrible battles." He would pray for them very sincerely. He has also gone through big battles of discouragement, so he can feel the suffering that others go through.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A very encouraging quality about my Shepherd is that when I was going through a time of serious battles he made himself available any time or anywhere, if I needed prayer. He said, "Be sure & call on me any time, day or night, 24 hours a day, if you need prayer." He makes himself completely available, which makes it real easy to go to him. I don't feel uneasy about asking him for prayer. Also, the fact that he's told me that I can approach him any time I need to, night or day, really makes me feel at ease; I know that I have a loving Shepherd who's always there.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherd is a very good sample of being strong in the Word & pointing us to the Word. He's also firm in his convictions, & he shepherds by a sample & not just a sermon. He is really sweet & tender-hearted & loving.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherd is very faithful to answer any questions or any comments I've made, which I really appreciate. Whenever I've written anything important on my OHR, I've always gotten a response.
Sometimes after I write my OHRs, I tend to worry about what I said, but the way he always acts so sweetly & lovingly, & gives me a hug & kiss & smile really helps, as I then feel that he loves me no matter what. It really helps when he asks how I'm doing, as I then feel that he's personally concerned about me.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A couple of times I've talked with my Shepherd about something that was a real big deal to me, but which in the overall scope of things was really piddly. But I could tell, even though he had lots to do, that he put everything out of his mind, all his work, & fully concentrated on listening to me. It was such a help! He wasn't in a hurry & we had good prayer before & after we talked.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
I really appreciate it when leaders don't over-voice their opinions, or use their position to sway things in the Home. With my Shepherd you wouldn't know he was the leader when discussing various Home matters. He isn't always expressing his opinion or coming off as an authority on everything. He doesn't carry a know-it-all spirit.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Another important quality of good Shepherds is that no matter how busy they are with their work, when they see you, they often take time to give you some personal attention & ask how you are & how everything's going & chat a little bit.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A good Shepherd manifests his love by taking care of his flock physically, as well as spiritually. He will ask, "Do you have good light? Do you have good ventilation? Are you staying cool? Do you need anything?"
[ ] Yes [ ] No
I feel our Shepherd's love through his concern about our safety, that we won't hurt our bodies, damage our eyes, etc. He makes sure we have safety glasses on when necessary when we do handyman work, & that we do things the safest way.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Another very encouraging quality of my Shepherds is, contrary to what I experienced under the Chain, they do not condemn or belittle anybody. Everybody in our house is real special to them & they try to make each person feel special, no matter what their ministry or job is.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
One of the things I really like about my Shepherd is that he's so natural & human. Even though he is the leader, he is not so highly exalted that you can't relate to him, which is a real relief. I feel that he is a good sample of how Jesus is—so understanding & loving.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Eye contact is also something I appreciate. Whenever my Shepherd is talking to our Home, he tries to look at everybody. He makes you feel like everybody in the room is important & what he's saying is for you.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good leaders have an ability to forget your past mistakes. Several times I've mentioned to my Shepherd, "Remember the time I blew it doing such-&-such? Or the time I was really out of it?" And he says, "No, I don't remember." It's really nice when your Shepherd forgets your boo-boos.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds always make me feel so encouraged & loved, as they show lots of love with hugs, kisses, smiles & encouraging words. They say words of appreciation & thankfulness, which makes me feel like all the work I do is worthwhile.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Loving Shepherds don't harp on or magnify your weaknesses. After working under the Chain for so many years, I was under quite a cloud of condemnation about the weaknesses in my spiritual life & my personality. But after working for many years in my present Home, I wondered if my Shepherds saw my weaknesses, because they didn't magnify them or harp on them. Of course, good Shepherds do see our weaknesses, but the way our Home's Shepherds accentuate the positive in our personalities & in our lives is very encouraging. It's not that they aren't aware of our weaknesses, & don't work with us to help overcome them, but they accentuate & show an even greater appreciation of our strong points.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Loving Shepherds talk to you on a friend-to-friend basis. Like when I first arrived at my present Home, I didn't realise the girl I was talking to in the pool was my Shepherdess! After our talk I thought, "Oh, what a sweet sister." She didn't have a "big leader" spirit at all.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds have humility. They're willing to admit mistakes & faults, & share where they've blown it along the same line. My Shepherdess is often sharing her mistakes & telling us where she's blown it, so we can learn from it. You see that she's not trying to hide her mistakes & give herself an air of importance or put herself above you. She puts herself down on your level by sharing her mistakes & battles often.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherdess is very generous with affection & hugs. Every morning I can be assured I'm going to get a hug from her. This is a small thing, but coming from your Shepherds it means a lot. If your Shepherds don't make eye contact or say hello, you feel like something is wrong or that they don't like you & they just tolerate you being in the Home. I don't feel that from my Shepherdess, she's so sweet & giving.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A good Shepherd is very understanding & really listens. It's wonderful to have somebody who's willing to listen to you even though you may not be clear or eloquent. They're willing to listen & hear you out, & through prayer, give you some very helpful counsel.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A good Shepherd is approachable. You can be assured that when you really need help, he will be available to help & pray with you.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds are not afraid to correct the sheep, not harshly, of course, but in love & firmness & openness & honesty. I appreciate that, & it makes me feel like somebody is really watching over me. It's good to know I'm not getting away with things. In our hearts & lives for the Lord, we all want to be given correction when it is given in love, as hard as it may be sometimes.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Our Shepherds always encourage us to communicate. If I'm not communicating, I get a little reminder, a little hint to be sure to communicate. We are assured that openness & honesty on our OHRs is valued & respected. A good Shepherd makes you feel free to pour out & be open & honest & bare your soul.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A good Shepherd is someone who is touched with the feeling of others' infirmities, who has real compassion & tenderheartedness. I've often seen my Shepherd-ess crying because of someone else's burden. To me that's a sample of being truly concerned for others.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherdess makes life fun, she has a spark in her. Life is interesting around her. She's flexible, she can change the course of things according to the Spirit. She's Spirit-led, flexible, spontaneous, alive. She makes you feel like life is worth living.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
When my Shepherdess corrects me, she says, "Is that all right? Is it okay that I said that to you?" She checks to see how you're doing & feeling.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A good Shepherd avoids a spirit of condescension. He doesn't act like, "I'm the rod of God, the disciplinarian, the one who keeps the standard around here, the razor that is hired!" He doesn't build this idea of "I'm the king here & you're all the little workers."
[ ] Yes [ ] No
With mature Shepherds, if something happens that's a controversy or conflict, you always know that your side will be heard & your point of view welcomed.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
On the point of responding to OHRs, if I write something that I'm worried about, my Shepherdess gets back to me right away & I don't have to wait for a week or two wondering what she is going to say. But if she does forget, she's told me before to remind her, if she hasn't been able to get back to me, which I will do, as that helps me not to worry.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
With good Shepherds you are not threatened about your weaknesses, you're helped with your weaknesses. The attitude is not, "If you don't get over your problems you'll be replaced!" Your mistakes aren't held over your head. It's more like, "We know you have weaknesses, we all do, & we're going to work together on them." You're not living in fear of being replaced because of your weaknesses.
On the other hand, your good points are enlarged upon. You get a lot of praise for your good points & that inspires more faith. You feel your Shepherds believe in you, even if you blow it, because they praise you for your good points.
Whatever you have to offer as an individual, you're encouraged to use it. Your talents & gifts are drawn out of you.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
In clothing, good Shepherds that I've worked under dress simply. They don't have scads & scads of clothes, as if they have an exclusive tap into the forsake-all or the provisioning. The same with their rooms: They're not fancier, & they're not living more luxuriously than everybody else. Also, they don't have more or special things for their children only.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Our Shepherdess has fun with us, she gets excited about little things & little celebrations, like birthday snacks. She's not above that. She doesn't retire to her room to have fun with just her mate or Teamworker, but she has fun with all of us.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherdess also has a real knack for being able to anticipate whether something's going to make you feel sad, embarrassed or hurt. She has a real supernatural gift for anticipating your feelings & talking with you about it, to see if it's going to cause you problems.
Along with that is the "explain explain" policy, where she goes out of her way to explain things so that there are no misunderstandings or you don't draw the wrong conclusions about something or get your feelings hurt.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds have the ability to bring out the best in you by putting you in situations where you can grow or be challenged to learn new things & be used to your top capacity. They let you burn free & be used as much as possible by the Lord. They make you feel like you're being challenged more & more as time passes. They're not trying to keep their place by keeping you in your place. They delegate & let others shine, they don't try to do everything themselves.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Loving Shepherds try to help you stay "in the know", as much as possible. They have a way of making you feel a part of what's going on. They don't make you feel like you're not a part of their lives or that they know so much more than you do. If Shepherds give off vibes that they're so important & they know so much selah information, it makes you feel left out & it's really hard. But, as much as possible, good Shepherds attempt to draw a circle that brings you in. There are no airs of great secrecy or mystique, like "I'm in the know & you're not!"
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds don't just give a big confession session once every six months or so, but apologise often & are open about their weaknesses & daily battles. Recently my Shepherdess wrote a little note of apology to me about some little comment she made earlier that day that she didn't think was the proper sample. Sometimes those little apologies take more humility than the fanfare of a big confession.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
When Shepherds confess their mistakes, it makes me want to confess. When our leaders are honest, I think it helps others be honest.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherdess is really good about not answering a matter before she hears it. And she's really good about making sure the "punishment" fits the "crime". If you did something wrong that's not really serious, you don't get a big correction, you just get a little teenie weenie reminder. She can really tailor her correction according to the seriousness of the problem.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds don't carry an air of super spirituality. They're just simple normal people.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherdess takes an interest in the personal things in my life. For example, she's interested in hearing about the letters I get from my kids & seeing their pictures, which is really sweet.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherd often reassures me that everything is okay. Whereas I've been around leaders (many years ago) who wanted you to worry that you might be in trouble, because if you thought they were holding something over you, then you'd squirm & kowtow & give them more reverence. That gave way to that awful, icky, "fear of Man" feeling.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherdess shows love & is not condemning, she's always uplifting. If I tell her I'm having problems, or I discuss a problem with her, she's always bringing out the positive. She'll say, "Yes, but look how far you've come! Remember where you were at this time last year? You're doing well now!"
And when she needs to give me some correction, she lets me explain my point of view & then she answers. For example, one time she answered something like, "The only thing is that I'm concerned about your attitude when you spoke about this, because it seems to me you're angry, & I'm a little concerned you have that attitude." She presented her concern to me & left it with me to make the decision. Or she'll say, "That's one way of looking at something, but on the other hand, you could look at it like this too," & she'll present an alternative point of view. I never feel forced or condemned. She allows me to make my own decisions. She gently leads me, she doesn't force me.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherdess doesn't announce it, but I know she prays for me in her private prayer life, & I think that's one reason why I feel loved by her. She prays for us in her private prayer life, she has a connection with us in the Spirit.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Sometimes announcements are brought up, & they are phrased in such a way that we are asked, "Should we do such-&-such?" There might be one person who is "guilty" of doing something the wrong way, but rather than pinpointing that one person, it's brought up as a general announcement suggesting we do it a certain way. This way we can all learn from it, & that one person doesn't feel badly & isn't put on the spot.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherdess is careful to make sure I don't have too much work, because she knows I don't work well under pressure. She gives me work priorities, so I don't have 10 things to do "immediately". This really helps me to not be frustrated or feel like I'm failing.
She is also concerned about redeeming the time & not going overtime in meetings. For example, she keeps the schedule running on time, & if we occasionally go overtime in work or have an extra late pow-wow or meeting, we can have a sleep-in the next morning.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Like in the Letter, "Morning Prayer", good Shepherds have a spirit of peace & calm about them, which emanates faith & trust.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Even when writing me about business points, my Shepherdess prefaces them with a personal greeting, or includes hearts & greetings & words of love in her business notes.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherdess is not concerned about always holding the reins in meetings. If there's someone that knows more about a certain subject she'll let them talk, or she'll have other people lead pow-wows or discussions or meetings. She's not so concerned that she's always the leader, or that she's got to always be in charge.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds are enthusiastic, there's a "can-be-done" spirit. They have the ability to help people to be used to their fullest. They know people's weaknesses & strengths, & they use their strengths & work around their weaknesses.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
I remember getting correction by leaders in the past, big correction, & they made me remember it for days afterwards in their countenance, & in the way they acted around me. It was like they still felt they had to drive the point home. Whereas with my Shepherd, I can say anything to him & afterwards he will not react any differently towards me than the way he normally did before, except more compassionately. He doesn't try to drive the stake in deeper.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A good Shepherd doesn't play favourites. He gives you the benefit of the doubt in everything, & makes you feel trusted. He also shows lots of appreciation.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
My Shepherdess shows great love for the Word, which inspires the same in me.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds realise how much you love your children. They sense how much your children mean to you & they're sensitive to when you're worried about them or missing them or anything like that. If a Shepherd can't understand my concern about something to do with my children, it really causes me battles. Good Shepherds feel the same concern for others' kids that they feel for their own.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds are lovingly honest concerning your mistakes or NWOs & don't try to hide things from you. They bring up problems when needed, rather than holding them back & waiting until a whole lot of things have piled up.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
It's very loving when Shepherds help relieve your burdens. Sometimes I've talked to my Shepherdess when I've been uptight with a big work load, not knowing how I was going to work things out. The first thing she says is, "Don't worry, it'll work out fine." And even if she's busy, she stops what she's doing & goes over my work & sorts it all out according to priority. It's a real relief, & helps me to focus on the work at hand, & not at all the other things that are not getting done.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A good Shepherd has the ability to look past people's little idiosyncrasies & hear what they're saying. For example, if someone has a little bit of an odd personality, or maybe they're giving a suggestion when they're a bit out of it, a good Shepherd doesn't let the person's personality or the way they say things affect their judgement about what the person has to say.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Something I admire about my Shepherd-ess is that she doesn't talk about other people in a gossipy way. That's really comforting, because I know when she's talking to others she won't be talking to them about my personal life. If she does occasionally share something personal with me about someone else, it is to help me in some lesson I'm learning, to show me how I'm not the only one who has this trial or battle, & not to just talk about the other person. It is a comfort to know she really values my sharing my heart & that whatever is shared confidentially with her isn't going to be taken lightly or told to the next person lightly.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
This is an experience of having faith in people, in situations, and leaving some things up to the Holy Spirit. One time after some different changes in personnel, my Shepherdess asked, How would you like to teamwork with So-and-so?"—And I didn't particularly like the idea. Lord help me! But she didn't come back with, Okay, now you don't have to like him, but you do have to love him and work with him." And you dig in your heels, Oh God!—Suffer for Jesus!" But instead she very sweetly asked if I would be willing to give it a try for a while, and that if I wasn't happy or couldn't work with him, then we could of course, work out other arrangements. I thought, Okay, sure, why not. I'll give it a go." And in time I really liked that person, and our teamworking together worked out really great. She had faith and left it to the Holy Spirit to work in my heart, and it worked out fine.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
I can always get sympathy from my Shepherd. If I'm really on a bummer or discouraged, or if I blew it or I got a rebuke, or something I did crumbled & went to dust & my lip's trembling, he will not condemn me. He'll say, "I'm sorry," & he'll really sympathise, & it's real, it's genuine. He's not just saying what a leader's supposed to say, but he's showing real sympathy & compassion. And that's done more to help me & touch my heart than anything.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
I've never felt pigeonholed or categorised by my Shepherdess like, "You're this way, you're this kind of a person." "You're just this way." "Your problem is this & therefore . . . "—which gives you that awful hopeless feeling that all your past is forever in your Shepherd's mind. Instead, I feel that there's always hope. Even if I know I am that kind of a person, she has hope that the Lord is going to help me. That means a lot to me.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A loving Shepherd will weep for you & feel sorry. That to me is one of the most important things, to suffer with those who suffer, & if something hurts you, to know that your leaders hurt for you. I've seen my Shepherd do that not just with me but with everybody in our Home, when someone's really hurt or really going through it or there's a crisis in their lives or something's happened with one of their children, something like that. Like Dad says, you'll never be a truly great Shepherd until you learn to have compassion on the sheep. That's an important point, to have sympathy & to really feel for them.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Follow-up after correction or bad news means the world to me. After you've bombed out or gotten a big correction, instead of, "Have you learned your lesson? Did you get the point?" a good Shepherd will say, "Are you okay? Did you sleep all right? Do you want me to pray for you?"
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds take time to pray about problems. When a problem comes up, they don't just go jump right into it & deal with it. Almost every time a problem comes up, our Shepherdess will just sit on it & pray about it & counsel about it & really take it to the Lord & get all sides of the story, & then she'll address it.—Instead of dealing with the situation by saying, "They broke the rules—pow!" A real good way to show love is to take time to pray about things & make sure you have the mind of the Lord on them before taking action.
Yes No
To me personally, as a sheep, the most important thing about a Shepherd is that you feel you can go to them at any time about anything that is on your heart or that you need help with. They are very approachable & you feel there's always an open door for you whenever you need it. You feel comfortable & relaxed in their presence, you don't feel you are imposing on them or taking their time (even if you know you are) & they are willing to take the time to listen & help. You feel that personal warmth & concern.
You respect a Shepherd for any of the wonderful talents & abilities the Lord has given them, such as organisation, administration, time efficiency & good management, scheduling, coordination of the work & many ministries we have, etc., but you love a Shepherd because of their loving care & concern for the sheep.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
To me, a good Shepherd cares for the sheep. A manager manages, an administrator administrates, an organiser organises, etc., but a Shepherd cares for the sheep & all that he does reflects that care & concern.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Even when they correct you, you can feel that it's just because they love & care for your soul, & when the correction is over you feel challenged & have hope & faith that you can make it because of the way they presented it.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
When you can tell them something that you really hate about yourself & that you know the Lord doesn't like, but they still love you & show their acceptance of you even after knowing the worst about you. That really makes you feel loved.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
When there's been some kind of a misunderstanding or problem that's come up, I appreciate the Shepherd coming & asking me my side of the story or doing a little "investigation", rather than them just hearing something from someone else & then coming & sitting down & giving me a talk or correction. Knowing that the Shepherd has considered all sides & prayed & counselled about things makes it easier to trust & have faith.
When I've shared something really difficult or embarrassing, my Shepherds have thanked me & encouraged me.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds: I feel I can tell them anything, & when I'm with them they just seem to draw it out, because I know they won't condemn me for it.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
One time when I was really struggling with a besetting sin & constantly being attacked with it, I determined that no matter how many times it happened & no matter how humbling it was, I was going to go & ask for prayer every single time I got hit with it. What really helped me was that my Shepherdess was willing to stop whatever she was doing at the time & pray for me, no matter how many times I came to her for prayer, which was a lot of times. And it was after that, that I made some major strides against that particular weakness.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
One time I had a little talking to about NWOs, & that evening my Shepherd came to me with a glass of wine & a snack, which we shared & had a real sweet time of talking & fellowshipping & heart sharing. I thought that was very sweet & loving of him. Little things like that really make an impression & lighten things up, TYJ!
[ ] Yes [ ] No
You can feel what a Shepherd's motives are, whether they're of a real concern for you, or whether they're just going through the motions of wanting to appear as a good leader. When a Shepherd's motive is your welfare more than his, you can feel that. Good Shepherds don't just live for themselves.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They are concerned about others' feelings more than their own, & they're very concerned about not hurting anyone's feelings, even during times of correction.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds don't set themselves up as anybody that deserves special treatment.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A loving Shepherd doesn't over-react, doesn't give harsh discipline, & especially not public exposure, unless it's really warranted as a last resort, & handled properly.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds "shepherd by wandering around." They don't just appear on the scenes for meetings, but they're also around for fellowship, meals, get-out, etc. They visit your department & see first-hand how things are going.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds are not trying to prove themselves & they don't try to make their followers act & behave a certain way to make themselves look good.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
When making serious decisions, good Shepherds draw on the counsel, opinions, & experience of many counsellors.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They're not cliquish with other leaders. You don't feel a barrier.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Listening & responding to our OHRs is important. If you get a response, it primes the pump & keeps you wanting to pour out. Even if they just say, "GBY, thanks for sharing it."
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds not only pray for you, but also get the Home to pray for you too. Like when I was sick, the Home's prayers for me were a real big thing. I felt everyone fighting in prayer, & it helped me to have faith & turn to the Word & the Lord.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds are concerned about their sample & willing to forego things to be a good example.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Loving Shepherds see the very big importance of all the little things that make your Home really homey.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds don't put the doorknob too high, especially in areas that they're not directly involved in or things that they personally don't do. It really is difficult if Shepherds give a big unrealistic sermon about raising the standard in some area that they are out of touch with.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Loving Shepherds look at weaknesses & ask, "What can we do to help you overcome that weakness?"
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Good Shepherds put you at ease to where you feel you can be yourself. You're relaxed, but not familiar. The respect is there, but there's a line you don't go over. You fear to murmur or gripe, but you're relaxed at the same time.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Speaks encouragement & emphasises the positive side of things no matter how badly you may be doing at the time.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Manifests faith in you (regardless of your failures or mistakes) that you want to do what's right & want to get the victory over any problems you may have.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Speaks the truth in love. Gives consistent discipline. Corrects you when you need it. Corrects firmly when needed but lovingly, & always ends it on a positive note. You feel he (or she) has a genuine concern & desire to help you. Is merciful & puts himself in your shoes & relates to how he would feel in the same situation. Sympathises & shares the same mistakes, but doesn't water down the truth or convictions about what's right.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Is patient with you even if you may be trying their patience.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Doesn't compare you or your abilities negatively with another.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
You feel free to share any ideas, comments, or opinions even if they differ from your Shepherd's opinions. A loving Shepherd doesn't just sort of "tolerate" others' ideas, but really encourages & pumps people to share their ideas & suggestions & opinions on things.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Regularly confesses mistakes & failures, & if need be, apologises for them, which greatly encourages others & makes them feel their Shepherds are more relatable.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Is considerate of people's physical weaknesses or inabilities, & need for rest & restrengthening.
Is more concerned about the worker & his spiritual health than his accomplishments or works. Is genuinely concerned about you, your physical as well as spiritual needs, such as if you're getting enough rest, Word time, etc.
Listens carefully, & really understands.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Makes you feel needed & appreciated.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Trusts you & speaks well of you & has faith in you—even when you might not have much faith in yourself!
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Is encouraging & uplifting, always saying sweet words of encouragement.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Has a good sense of humour, & helps make the Home a happy place, doesn't take life too seriously.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Makes you feel "at home", that you're really an important part of that Home & that's where you belong, not like you're just passing through.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Even though you know that you blew it, you're not afraid to approach them—knowing that they'll understand.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Reports fairly & unbiasedly, without exaggeration, & leaving room for the benefit of the doubt.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Informs you ahead of time if a surprise could cause you trials. Thinks of things ahead of time. For example, if you're in love with someone who's going on a trip, they let you know about it beforehand, so you don't have to hear about it at the last minute in a public announcement.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Tries to draw out the people who aren't real outgoing, & tries to give them a chance to be heard & give their opinions, & makes them feel real important too, even though they're quiet.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Doesn't take sides. When you pour out one side of a story, they don't immediately just accept that, but they help you see the other side of what the other person or people may have felt or thought. (But they still make you feel that they understand what's on your heart.)
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Directs you to the Word for answers.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Passes on correction before things get big. Not waiting until they blow their cool. Nipping things in the bud. Getting little corrections as things come up really helps.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Has an attitude of faith when a situation comes up, to face it, take it to the Lord in prayer.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Has a spirit of enthusiasm in everything.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Delegates as much as possible so everybody feels included.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Encourages people to speak up with good ideas, which makes you want to contribute.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Doesn't beat around the bush about things, but makes things real simple & straightforward.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
When giving public correction, talks to the person privately first so the person is prepared.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Confesses mistakes, even when it's unsolicited. Doesn't just say, "I've done the same myself," & then, the "pow pow pow" of correction, but shows real humility.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They explain, explain, explain.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They're human in that they are not afraid to admit their mistakes or ask for prayer when they're having trials. Saying little things like, "I'm such a mess." Then you don't feel your Shepherds are some saints way above you who can't relate to you or feel the things you go through.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They can laugh at themselves & laugh along with everybody.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They make life fun!
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They are cheerful despite the battles, & they smile through their tears.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
If they have a relationship or are mated, they keep it discreet, so it doesn't make the single people feel lonely.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They love without partiality—a male Shepherd showing the same love to all the girls, or a female Shepherd being equally affectionate to all the boys.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Are willing to take time & give 100% to you when you really need help & prayer.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Tell you honestly where you're at when you're off the track.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Give a little "powder puff" before a correction, it really helps!
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Try to explain when possible, if something will involve you personally, so you can take some time to adjust to whatever it is that will be happening.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They give the "personal touch" either back on notes or when talking, even when discussing work. Just saying something that's personal to you, like, "You led an inspiring devotions," is very inspiring.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They are considerate, saying, "please," & "thank you." And if you have to work overtime they acknowledge that & really thank you for it. The Shepherds I've loved most say, "I'm sorry to ask you to do this now since I know it's late & you've been working all day already, but would that be okay with you? Thanks so much for working overtime on this." And later they asked if I got time to make up for the lost sleep or they tell me to be sure to get extra sleep the next morning.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
When they need to give correction, they sweetly share stories of mistakes they've made along the same line. This shows a lot of love & makes it easier to receive correction. You don't feel singled out & it doesn't make you feel like a total failure. It's also comforting to know you're not the only one or first one to blow it along that line. That sort of approach helps the Shepherd not to come across self-righteous.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They act natural, versus having the "leader" attitude. Some people have this air of "I am a leader", an air of authority that rubs you the wrong way.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They love you for what you are, they're not trying to put you in a box. Yes, you can improve, but they're not trying to make you something else. They take you where you are & improve on it.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Check up on & follow up on in my work. To me that shows love.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They ask if you'd like to do something rather than outright telling you to do something.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They don't encourage familiarity.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They really enjoy the fellowship of the sheep, it's not just as a duty.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
When they're going through something, they let you know where they're at, rather than you having to form your own theory about what's happening.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They don't treat you like inferiors or children. They don't take on a paternalistic attitude.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
They often subcommittee things that are beyond their ability & quickly let you know that's just not one of their particular skills.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
When something is going to be brought out publicly that will be embarrassing for a person, they try to ease the embarrassment by explaining to others the extenuating circumstances.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
If they have bad news to tell somebody, they try not to tell the person before bedtime, so it won't cause them to stay awake worrying. They tell the person at a good time when there will be other people around who can help them & pray for them.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Someone who'll take time to just talk to you, just because you're you—not because of any problems, or because there are specific subjects to cover, but just to show you they think you're enjoyable to talk to.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Someone who takes you seriously when you share something that's real difficult to pour out & doesn't laugh at your trials, no matter how ridiculous they may seem.
Someone who doesn't give up on you after the 100th time you ask for prayer for the same type of problem, but a different angle of it. Someone who'll keep praying for you & having faith in you.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Someone who doesn't try to keep the upper hand over me or isn't aloof. We enjoy our time together.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Someone who is interested in what I have to say. Loving Shepherds convey the attitude & spirit of "you're of worth & value & what you feel & think is of value."
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Someone who doesn't frown on you or ridicule you when you're weak & emotional, but upholds you through those times.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Someone who is not all "business & stats".
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Obedient in little things. I'm really encouraged to be obedient in little things when I see my Shepherds saving on toothpaste & toilet paper. They don't give me legalistic sermons or vibes when they see me do things I shouldn't, but when I need a reminder they have a real sweet way of giving one. But it's mostly their sample that speaks to me.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Someone who, when I have something on my heart, listens to all I have to say without interruption, even when there are faults on my side or I may be completely off the track. He'll listen to the whole thing, just absorbing & taking it in, & then he'll pray about it & get back to me, rather than interrupting & starting to give his opinion or correction, without my having been able to pour the whole thing out. I'm so thankful my Shepherds are willing to listen, because then what they have to say doesn't come off as a sermon or that they're answering a matter before hearing it. It can be very frustrating if your Shepherd gives counsel & correction but hasn't really listened to you.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Someone who takes the form of a servant, not to be served, but to truly serve others.
Someone who has the ability to make others feel important. They are able to esteem others above themselves.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Someone who doesn't ask anyone to do something that they themselves wouldn't do.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Someone who is dedicated & loves the Word & Dad & Mama.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Someone who is not hasty in making decisions.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Someone who has conviction.
Someone who is very careful of not showing preferential treatment in front of others.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Consideration of your physical needs: "Do you have enough clothes? How are you sleeping? What do you think we should have in our meal plan?" There are a multitude of little physical ways in which a leader can show concern for the sheep.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
The ability to be able to relate to people & to be able to "walk in their shoes," so to speak. To be able to say, "I've been through that too, I understand."
Showing impartiality towards all.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Accessibility. You feel free to go to them even if it's an odd time. You don't feel they're going to cast you out, their door is open. Even if it's closed, it's open in the spirit.
One time, it was 2:30 or 3:00 in the morning & I was having a super big battle, but I felt the liberty to walk down the hall to see my Shepherds. They woke up & listened to me & prayed for me. It took about an hour, but I had no qualms about approaching them. I felt like I could go to them, I felt drawn to them. I felt real freedom to ask them to help me with that battle, & that they'd understand, even though it was late.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Listening. Someone who is able to sit down & listen to you & not feel they're judging you. You don't get the vibes they'd rather be doing something else & please hurry up. They make you feel like what you're saying is important & that they want to listen to you.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A good Shepherd is not legalistic & doesn't see things in black-&-white only. They have the ability to see the grey & both sides, & they're not just bound by rules.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Looking for the good & seeing the good in people & not just trying to pinpoint mistakes & weak areas & weak qualities. "Tell somebody they're wonderful & they'll be wonderful."
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Merciful. When there is a correction, being low-key about it, unless the person is real hard to get through to. Just saying it, not feeling that they need to turn up the volume or gather everybody together & sit the person in the middle, but just saying it; & then following it with giving lots of encouragement. Even checking the next day & later in the week to see if the person's still okay.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Strong in the Word. Referring to the Word & the Letters by name, "Remember where Dad said such-&-such in such-&-such a Letter?" That inspires faith.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Shepherds who have faith & who have a good rapport with their over-Shepherds are often the ones who extend the most mercy & create the least "fear of Man" amongst their flock, because they themselves don't fear. Shepherds who have a fear of their leadership are sometimes the ones that have a heavy hand with others, because they want everything to go right & look good, so they'll look good in the eyes of their overseer.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A good Shepherd is willing to help with Home pushes. For example, one time at the HCS the Shepherds wanted to have more constructive get-outs. They didn't just tell the Home Members, "The School is a mess, fix it!" but they were right out there helping, showing a sample. Instead of just saying, "Don't play volleyball, do something constructive on get-out," the Shepherds were willing to get their hands dirty & work themselves.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
The ability to give others credit.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
A good Shepherd will make you feel like "there's no place like home". They really make your Home feel like a home & that you're loved. It's like a refuge from the storm.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Is prayerful.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Leads people with the Word.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Does not appear to be a spiritual giant.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Is a sample of taking Word time & quiet time & get-out.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Has a love for the lost.