(Peter #81 and Prophecies from Summit '95 followed this article.)

GN649_14/95

(Note: Before presenting some new material on this subject, let's first review this excerpt from Mama which she wrote in "Serve One Another in Love," ML #2978. We are reprinting this so that you will have all the updated counsel about the changes in the teen sex policy in one publication. We hope that will make it easier for you to review all aspects of counsel the Lord has given on this subject. GBY!)

Along with many other changes, our Love Charter introduces a relaxing of Family sexual policy for both our senior teens and YAs! YAs are now allowed to engage in sexual activities with DO members up to 7 years older than themselves (as outlined in detail in the "Fundamental Family Rules," 2D.1-5, pg.118-119); and our 16- and 17-year-old members are allowed to have full sexual relations within the 16- through 20-year-old age group, if they so desire.

This latter subject concerning our senior teen age group was a controversial point of discussion when the Charter was being drawn up, as although all of the Family leadership wanted to allow you senior teens greater sexual freedom, there was a difference of opinion as to exactly how much should be allowed. Due to these differing views, an earlier draft of the Charter stopped short of allowing our 16- and 17-year-old members permission to have full intercourse; instead permitting everything but "skin-to-skin touching of the genitals" with other 16- to 17-year-olds.—This meant that you would have been allowed to kiss and cuddle, touch, rub and fondle your partner as long as you were not touching their naked genitals with either your hand or any part of your body, which in essence means you would have had to keep your pants on during all sexual interaction.

However, because there was such a wide spectrum of opinions on this matter concerning you senior teens, I felt led to suggest that the leadership at the Summit meeting bring this question before the Lord: "How far did He want our senior teens to proceed in their sexual interaction?" And the Lord spoke beautifully and clearly, so much so that we had to change the policy to what it is now. (See Sex and Affection Rules, section 11F., page 137.)

Since you will be receiving these prophecies soon, God willing (see page 13 of this GN), I won't comment on all that the Lord had to say, except to confirm that He is happy to allow you to have full sexual relations with one another if you wish, and through this you will be able to more fully understand and live the freedoms granted under His Law of Love, and you'll also draw closer to Him through the lessons you will learn from living and experiencing these freedoms. In addition, He wants to show you how much He loves you through the love of others. We were all grateful for the answers the Lord gave, and happy to change the Charter to reflect the sexual interaction He was permitting within your senior teen group. And we are overjoyed that you will be able to fully live His Law of Love regarding the freedoms and beauties of loving sexual contact with one another.

Continued Teen Shepherding!

I trust you senior teens understand that although the Lord has now opened the door for you to have full sex with other 16- to 20-year-olds, this doesn't mean that according to your whims you can now just be having sex with whoever you want to, whenever you want to! The Lord does not mean for this to be a free-for-all! The Lord also made it very clear in the prophecies that you will need a great deal of shepherding to help you as you enter into this new era of freedom and responsibility.

In prophecy, the Lord said that He would shepherd you, and that by giving you this freedom it would cause you to learn, grow, and mature, and that He would be there to comfort and teach you, and that He will use these experiences to draw you closer to Him. He said that the adults would need to shepherd you in this as well, and that you would have to realize that you have much to learn and thus you must take this matter seriously.

From these prophecies it is evident that the Lord sees this as a serious matter. As I mentioned earlier, we will be publishing these prophecies in full shortly so you can study them and gain a fuller understanding as to why He is allowing you this freedom and what He is expecting it to bring about in your lives. (Please see Peter's comments and the full prophecies later in this GN.)

Parents, teamworkers and shepherds, you will need to help shepherd our teens in this new step. And teens, the Lord said that you will need help, so you should be willing to accept their shepherding and prayerfully consider their advice. By the way, lest there be any misunderstanding on this subject of shepherding, the Charter does not relieve you shepherds of this important responsibility, nor allow you to abdicate your shepherding duties. You are still expected to advise and counsel those in your Home and correct people when they are off track. And as far as shepherding teens, we are still expected to shepherd them. Nothing has changed in that respect, except now these senior teens are permitted to engage in this new activity if they so desire. But just as we shepherd their other activities, we're going to have to shepherd their sexual activities.

Responsible Attitudes Toward Sexual Freedoms!

Right now some of you senior teens have boyfriends and girlfriends, those you're attracted to, which obviously is not going to be altered by the implementation of the Charter! My hope is that you teens' attitudes toward the opposite sex will not change all that radically just because you have been granted this new freedom—unless it's to become even more loving and considerate of your peers.—That you won't put too much emphasis on relationships now, like many of our adults did after the RNR when they gained new freedoms. The Lord is simply giving you more liberty so you will have the freedom to take your physical interaction further, if you are so inclined, and do so according to the Lord's Law of Love.

It's my hope and prayer that you teens will put these changes in the sex rules in their proper context and that you'll be prayerful and wise in your handling of this new freedom.—That you will honestly ask the Lord for help in keeping your sexual activities in their proper place and that they will not become your major preoccupation nor your major activity. Hopefully you will carry on with your normal responsibilities and activities and with your normal schedules and routines and try not to put much more emphasis on your boyfriend/girlfriend relationships than you have previously. For those of you who have had lots of boyfriend/girlfriend relationships and spent time with each other in talks and on walks and other activities, you'll still be able to do the same, except now you'll be able to go a little further—or a lot further—if you want to.

Of course, some of you other teens may go much more slowly, and that's your prerogative. Sex has never been the main emphasis or priority in our Family. We are missionaries, and our goal and major activity has been to reach the lost, and it should remain that way since the time is shorter than ever. If we don't keep things in their proper context and in their proper place and time, things could get out of proportion and out of perspective and sex could become the major activity of you 16- and 17-year-olds, or at least take too high a priority in your life! So let's try to keep it in the proper context so that things don't get chaotic and everybody doesn't go wild.

Of course, these cautions apply not only to you 16- and 17-year-olds but to the YAs and adults as well. Therefore we need shepherding—and probably some pretty in-depth shepherding, as these will be you teens' first such intense experiences in matters of the heart. The introduction of sex into your relationships will bring about a lot of new factors in your lives, which will in turn bring up questions and problems that you will need counsel about. It is my hope that allowing sexual fellowship amongst you senior teens will draw you closer in spirit to your shepherds and other adults, as you adults will be able to share the lessons you've learned or are presently learning along the same lines.

We hope it will bridge the gap between the two generations as we will all be learning the same lessons together. It should bring out in you teens a greater understanding and respect for the adults and all they've been through in their lives. And in you adults, it will bring about a greater love and compassion for our senior teens, as you help to shepherd them through this important phase of their lives. Remember, it's not just our teens who need shepherding, you adults will need shepherding as well. Just because the Love Charter is in effect doesn't mean that shepherding is out and everyone is free to do their own thing! I don't want anyone to misunderstand and to all of a sudden think they can say "hands off" to their Home teamworkers when they try to shepherd and counsel them. Nor do I want you teamworkers to back off from your shepherding of the sheep.

Please don't make the mistake of misinterpreting the Charter and thinking that you no longer need shepherding. The Charter states very clearly in the "Responsibilities and Authority of Home Officers" that shepherds are to shepherd the Home. Without shepherding and without counseling, purposes are disappointed.

This holds true not only for teens but also for adults—everyone needs shepherding. Your shepherds should be available to help you teens with counsel right from the onset of this new freedom and responsibility of sexual relationships with your peers. You've been used to shepherds counseling you on every other aspect of your lives, so this won't be any different. And you should be willing to listen to them and welcome their counsel and guidance. Okay? I'm counting on you!

(End of excerpt from "Serve One Another in Love"—Mama's Epilogue to the Love Charter, ML #2978:106-127.)

Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family