APPLYING THE "TECHI SERIES"! Maria #124 DO 2631 6/90
1. I'm very encouraged that we can publish this series of Techi's Battles & Victories because I know it's going to be a big help & blessing to the Family, TTL! I think you will find it very feeding, inspiring & instructive.--And I believe most of you will be led of the Lord in finding out exactly how to apply the principles brought out in this series to your particular situations & with your own children.
2. However, one thing that I've been a little concerned about is that some people might look at the sweet & loving talks that I've had with Techi, & compare them to the rather stern dealings that Dad had with Mene, & then conclude, "Oh, this is one way to deal with such problems, & this is the other way to deal with them!" That would be a very wrong conclusion. When a child is having serious problems & is fighting heavy spiritual battles, the key question is not so much which method to use, but when to use which method.
3. You need to remember that when Mene was in her "Last State" condition, we had already spent months & months patiently & lovingly dealing with her, praying with her, spending countless hours spiritually nurturing & nursing her, & were virtually at our wit's end.--And bringing her & her problems to Dad was the last resort, the final ultimatum, & that's why Dad dealt so sternly & heavily with her.
4. The strict & severe discipline given to Mene by Dad was actually only a tiny part of the overall treatment she received. The sympathetic, merciful & very understanding treatment that I'm giving Techi in my talks with her was given abundantly to Mene as well.--Loving & merciful treatment first, & only when she refused to respond, more stern & severe. In other words, my treatment of Techi is not a contradiction of the way Dad dealt with Mene.--It's just that Techi is at a completely different stage in her personal history & growth than Mene was when Dad had to finally sock it to her with the "Last State" ultimatum.
5. When I began having my counselling & "report times" with Techi, she'd already made a personal commitment to the Lord to seriously go to work on her NWOs & personal problems.--And she'd already begun changing & making real progress. In other words, during my talks with her, she's not been in a rebellious or unyielded spirit, but she's been very submitted & yielded & sincerely wanting victories in her life. Whereas with Mene, she was so far gone at the time that Dad dealt with her, that she was wilfully & defiantly & repeatedly inviting the Enemy back with his pictures & thoughts & evil imaginations, wishing harm on others & virtually cursing them!--Which is why Dad socked it to her so hard!
6. There is no one rule or single method that applies to all children! Every child is different, & the way they're handled has to be tailored to their individual needs & the severity of their problems, & their attitude toward them, as well as their personality. For example, what if two children have committed the same offense? How seriously you deal with them would depend on not only the gravity of the offense but whether they have a history of such misbehaviour or whether it's their first time. You would need to take into consideration what their recent attitude has been, also what is their present attitude during correction; Is this offense just another symptom of their rebellious attitude?--Or is it something that caught them in an unguarded moment? Are they easily convicted with just a word?--Or do you have to apply the rod to get through to them? Your treatment of your children must be prayerful & led of the Spirit!
7. This material cannot tell you exactly how you should deal with your child! It will merely offer you something to refer to, but you will have to pray & ask the Lord what applies in your situation & what should be used with your child. "The letter killeth, but the Spirit giveth life" (2Cor.3:6), & you've got to get the spirit of how we're dealing with Techi, understanding that she was open & receptive to our counsel, had determined to fight to get changes in her life, & is an extremely sensitive, easily convicted, tenderhearted child, in order to appreciate why we have been led to deal with her the way we have.
PERSONAL TIME WITH CHILDREN!--A LUXURY, OR NECESSITY?
8. Another point that I'm concerned about is that some people may look at our talks & dealings with Techi & say, "Look at all the time they've spent talking with her, & going into all these little details!--My goodness, how could we, as busy as we are & with as many children as we have, possibly ever do that!--We just can't do it!" Well, it's true, we have been giving Techi a lot of time & personal attention, but considering the strength & viciousness of the Enemy's attacks against her, I don't know if she could have made it otherwise.
9. I realise that it's an exception in our Homes for any child to receive so much personal attention. But all children do need special time to talk with someone. Our young people really need to share their hearts with their Shepherds, overseers, parents, etc.--and to do so just takes a lot of time.
10. Besides the common problems that all children experience, most children are bound to have special problems, individual fears & individual worries at some time.--And taking personal time with them is the only way that I know of to let the kids really unburden their hearts, & for you to see where they're at so you can effectively address their problems. How else can you do that, but by spending time with them? If you're going to get good results with your children & really help them get over their problems, you're simply going to have to make such time with them.
11. The Shepherds at some of our Teen Camps & Victor programs have discovered the same thing, that there's just no substitute for personal time taken with the kids to help them with their problems. Our special Victors programs for Teens & JETTs who are beset by a lot of serious personal problems, include a lot of time & attention devoted to the kids personally.--Not just talking with them about their problems, but also giving them appropriate Word classes, training etc.
12. Of course, you can deal with many common problems as a group, which doesn't take quite as long as addressing each person's problems individually. But even in group NWO discussions, it's still going to take a lot of time!
13. But some people may look at all the time that we're spending with Techi & say, "Well, where in the World are we ever going to get so much time?--We're too busy!" Well, I'm not exactly sure where you're going to find the time, but what I am sure of is that if time with the children is a need, then the Lord will provide it in some way.--Especially if you're really determined to spend such time with your children.
14. The Lord has promised to supply all our needs, & I'm sure that He doesn't want us to lose our kids or for them to be defeated by the Devil. He certainly wants them to get over their problems, or even better yet, not to develop such serious problems in the first place. So somebody is going to have to pray--or a lot of somebodies are going to have to pray--& seek the Lord & come up with some ideas & solutions on how they're going to be able to find the time necessary to help our kids pull through some of the heavy battles & trials that beset them!
15. We tried putting Techi alone in a room with the Word [DELETED], & it did her good. Our kids need that, too. But the written Word on its own just doesn't seem to be enough. There's so much that kids don't understand, things that they need explained to them, which is why they need teachers, & why they need teachers pretty much full time. They have so many fears & misunderstandings & problems that we adults don't have trouble with, & they frequently need our help in fighting their battles through to the victory.
SEEING PROBLEMS THROUGH TO VICTORY!--IT TAKES TIME!
16. When people have problems, to help them takes time! And when your child or pre-teen or Teen has a problem, you've got to see it through!--Which means you or their Shepherds must take time with them. You can't just cut it short & say, "Well, we've gotten part way to the victory, but I'm going to have to go now.--You can get the rest of the way on your own!"--Especially with children, you just can't do that. You've got to stay there & fight it out with the Devil & patiently wait & pray until they get the victory!
17. When you know the child wants the victory & they're on the right track & they really do want to see the truth, you've just got to persevere, & fight through to victory with them! It takes real effort & time & attention. Over & over again, I've seen with Techi that I've just got to stay there until I can pull whatever is bothering her out of her. I can't just accept her, "No, I don't want to tell you," or "I can't tell you," for an answer. You've got to try everything you can to pull it out of them.
18. Just the other night Techi & I were talking, & when I asked her what it was that was bothering her, she started crying & insisting that she didn't want to tell me about it. But because I persevered & patiently tried to draw it out of her, we finally got it out. Then once we knew what the problem was, we had to spend much more time trying to get the victory over what was bothering her.
19. But because it was getting so late by then & she was so tired & upset, I started to have second thoughts, & finally said to her, "Well, Honey, maybe I shouldn't have pulled it out of you in the first place!--Then we wouldn't have had this long discussion about it where you've gotten so tired & are now feeling so bad." But she looked at me & insisted, "Oh no, Mommy!--I'm glad you made me tell you! If you hadn't pulled it out of me, I would have been even more frustrated & felt even worse!" And knowing Techi, what she was saying was true; she probably would have worked herself into an even worse state & become much more discouraged & frustrated as a result of keeping it in & not sharing her heart.
20. So if at all possible, you shouldn't stop until they've gotten it all out. Because even though they may protest at first, they really do want to tell you, & they really do want help. But the Devil always tries to keep people from sharing their hearts, & gives them all kinds of "logical" reasons & excuses to keep it to themselves.
21. Then once it's out, just keep fighting for the victory until you get it. You can't just get discouraged 'cause they don't get the point right away & say, "Well, I guess you're not going to get the victory, at least not now. You're worked up into a very bad state now, so let's leave it till later." Persevere & keep fighting & don't give up! If you put it off until later, you may never get back to them! Even if you do, the battle may be even harder next time. The Enemy is trying to get both you & them to give up before you've won the victory, so you should try as hard as you can to keep fighting!--And that usually takes time.
22. Somebody, some way, has to be able to spend time with the individuals who need it.--You've got to have someone who can take the time to counsel with people & spend time with people & listen to them & pray for them & give them the help & solutions & guidance from the Word they need! You might say, "Well, that may be the ideal, but it's not very realistic." Well, I believe it's a necessity, therefore it can be a reality!
23. I'm sure the Lord has an answer for all of our parents & Shepherds & childcare helpers, because He certainly wants our kids to get over their problems.--Or even better, He'd like to help us prevent their problems. So you're just going to have to pray & be desperate about it & convinced that it's a genuine need, & I'm sure the Lord will somehow make a way & provide the time you need to help your kids. Many problems are common to all, & if handled wisely, may be effectively addressed in small groups, sitting around a table or in a circle, & discussing questions all together.
24. Even if you can't spend as much time with your children when they're having problems as we've been spending with Techi, I hope that you'll be able to somehow adapt & adjust & improvise or whatever it takes, in order to put the different principles brought out in this series into effect. Implementing these principles of sympathy, encouragement, understanding, honesty, confession, prayer, etc. as much as you can will definitely be a great help to your children, even if you are unable to spend as much personal counselling time with them as I have with Techi.
SOME SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO FIND MORE TIME FOR YOUR CHILDREN!
25. Working in "teamwork" with others might be a solution in helping you find more time to spend with your children who may need extra counselling & personal attention.--Even if you just teamwork with your mate, who could perhaps take the rest of the children aside for an activity, while you take the one child that's having more of a problem & spend some needed personal time with them.
26. If you don't have a mate, perhaps you could team up with some other parents & work it out somehow so that you or they or someone else who's capable, can take some special time with the child who is having problems & is in need of such special attention. Parents could alternate, so that each one could have some special time with the child who's in need of extra attention. Don't forget, however, that all children need somebody special to be close to & occasions upon which they can pour out their hearts to someone who will patiently hear them out.
27. Of course, there should always be a united effort between the parents & childcare workers to help the kids. It's the childcare helpers who often know the most about the child's needs, & our parents should be open to their counsel & advice, & be willing to accept it & act on it. If there's good open communication between the children's Shepherds & parents, then the effort to help the child can be much more concerted & powerful, all working & praying together, & each speaking the same thing to the child.
28. We all need to "be diligent to know the state of our flocks, & look well to our herds."--Pro.27:23. These lessons we've recently been learning with Techi have shown us how vitally important it is for us to get intimately involved in the spiritual lives of our little ones.--And that takes time!--Time we think we can't possibly spare, & time that frequently represents a real sacrifice & foregoing of other activities.
29. In the System, many people are willing to make tremendous sacrifices in order to physically defend or protect their children.--Should we in the Family not be willing to do even more?--To sacrifice to not only physically defend & protect our children, but even more importantly, to ensure their spiritual well-being.--To do whatever is necessary to open lines of communication in order to reach their hearts & secure them for Jesus & His Service.--Amen? God bless you & help you as you lovingly feed & diligently tend the lambs He's entrusted you with! PTL! ILY! (--AMEN!--Like you expect the Lord to spend with you!)
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family