HOW TO BE A HERO TO YOUR TEENAGER--By Joe White
LOVE--THE SOLID-ROCK FOUNDATION
A successful leader really cares for his people, & a successful parent really cares for his children. The most recent surveys show that today's teenagers believe that the greatest deterrent to teenage vandalism is parents who care.
A friend of mine came from a home that knew how to make children feel loved. Her parents adopted two little children whose mother was a prostitute. The children never had a father. They literally spent their first few years living in a doghouse with a dog. All they could do verbally was grunt, growl, & bark. At ages six & seven, when they were adopted by these two wonderful parents, they began to discover love. Each day they'd hear the words, "I love you" over & over again. They were overwhelmed by hugs & pats on the back.
At the time the two were adopted, their IQs were measured at 37. The diagnosis was hopeless: "Permanent institutional cases...They'll never be normal."
After a year of love, they were reading & discussing the daily newspaper.
(The first words these two learned to say were, "Mommy, I love you. Daddy, I love you." On the day they learned the word love, they ran in & out of the room some one hundred times repeating it over & over.)
Remember that love for your children is spelled T-I-M-E. It can't be communicated without a regular time commitment. Reevaluate your daily schedule carefully & carve out time for the teens in your life.
But sometimes this isn't so easy.
One Summer my six-year-old girl was spending a week at our nearby short-term camp. We agreed to the rules not to see her for a week. (That's not easy!) Courtney has long blonde hair & dimples that can't help but melt her Daddy's heart.
The fifth night of the week at camp, Courtney got a touch of homesickness. She began to cry & the counselor came to her bed to give her some hugs & tenderness.
"Corky, don't cry anymore. You'll be home in two days & you'll get to see your Daddy & everything..."
"I never get to see my daddy!", was her bold protest.
After the term ended, the camp director came to my house. "Sit down," he said abruptly. I sat down, wondering what this was all about. He told me the story of the conversation between Courtney & her counselor. It broke my heart.
He said, "What are you going to do about it?"
I squirmed. He looked deep into my eyes. The phone rang, & as I answered it the intercom buzzed. Someone came to the door with an emergency. I sat back down. He was still looking intently at me.
"I asked you, what are you going to do about it?"
"I dunno...it's hard...there are so many demands."
"Joe, who are the most important people in your life?"
"My family."
"You're not showing it!"
He sat there & didn't give an inch. He forced me to make some commitments that I'm carrying out to this day. It's still hard. The demands are still there--in fact, they're getting worse. But my priorities are changing.
May I barge into your home & ask you to sit down & in love ask you the same question my friend asked me?
Who are the most important people in your life? How much of your undivided attention do they actually get each day? What are you going to do about it?
Newsweek magazine recently issued a firm warning to us parents who are "too busy" to find time to be alone with our teenagers. "They [teenage children] are finding new freedom from parental restraints, taking cues from a pleasure-bent culture & playing precocious sex games in the bedroom--often while mom & dad are at work."
To communicate your care for your children, remember that these things are needful: First is Love. Second is time. Third, & so, so important--love is a Great Big Ear! Learn to LISTEN unconditionally.
One simple method of listening will take you just thirty minutes to learn & will amaze you with the results it will gain with your teenager when he or she comes to you with a problem. I have been swept off my feet with the creative response this process produces in a teenager's moment of confusion.
Tell your child when he comes to you seeking advice that you are going to ask him three questions. Your goal is to help him discover the proper solution & work toward solving that problem. He or she knows more about this problem than anyone. I am neither a professional counsellor nor a psychologist, but this method is so simple to use that any patient parent can succeed with a hurting child.
There are three important ground rules that make this amazing system work effectively. The first one is that you need to provide an atmosphere of empathy with your eyes, facial expressions & words. The child needs to hear you say, "I really understand what you're going through. I care for you & am eager to help you get to the heart of this thing that's bothering you."
Second, don't jump to conclusions & give premature advice. The surface problem (drinking, sex, fighting, etc.) is a result of the real problem that lies much deeper in the child's heart. Keep asking questions & listen to uncover the real problem.
And third, don't condemn or criticize! Negative input will stop the process quicker than anything.
The lead-off question is, "What's wrong?" or "What do you want?" (You're finding out what is going on in your teenager's head.
Follow that up with, "What are you feeling?" or "What emotion are you feeling?" (Here you're finding out what is going on in his heart.) On the same emotional level chase the second question with another question to help identify that emotion. For example, if you asked, "How are you feeling?" he might say, "I feel sad." You could say, "What's the sadness?" His response might be, "I just feel so hurt, so rejected."
Next, ask him, "What are you doing about that problem?" When he answers you, don't draw conclusions; bite your tongue when you want to give advice & start over again with question number one so you can sift down further to the real problem. Be sure to kindly demand a different answer each go-around to each of the three questions. After a few minutes of active listening your child will begin to see the action he needs to take. At the advantageous moment you can say, "What do you need to do now to solve that problem?" Wait patiently for his answer. "Are you willing to do that? Will you come tell me how it is going after you do that?"
Learn to listen! Learn to ask questions! As we help the teenager uncover his emotional mess that is hiding the real problem, we can help him work towards solving it.
Please study the following case of a teen who came to me with a problem recently:
Bill--Can't Say I Love You: After being away from home for three weeks in an atmosphere of fun, happiness, & uplifting people, I encountered Bill, who at age fourteen faced a life of never-ending depression. He came to me with a scowl fixed firmly on his face. He said, "I've got a problem. I'm so down."
Joe: What's wrong?
Bill: I don't know.
Joe: Is it camp?
Bill: I don't think so.
Joe: Is it your counsellor?
Bill: Nah.
Joe: Bill, I'm going to take you through a little process that I think might help you. (I explained the three-question process to him carefully. He agreed to give it a try.) What's wrong?
Bill: I'm just not excited about anything.
Joe: How do you feel?
Bill: Confused.
Joe: What's the confusion?
Bill: I just feel messed up inside.
Joe: What are you doing?
Bill: Nothing. I don't know what to do.
Joe: What's wrong?
(Bill begins to frown. There is a long pause.)
Bill: I just feel something missing--missing inside.
Joe: How do you feel?
Bill: All empty.
Joe: What's the emptiness?
Bill: I don't know. Kind of lonely, I guess.
Joe: What are you doing?
Bill: Not much.
Joe: What's wrong?
Bill: I'm not looking forward to seeing my parents, & I know I ought to be.
Joe: How do you feel?
Bill: Lost.
Joe: What are you doing?
Bill: What do you mean?
Joe: You say you feel lost, what are you doing to keep from feeling that way?
Bill: Hmmmmm.
Joe: What's wrong?
Bill: I can't tell them I love them.
Joe: How do you feel?
Bill: Sad.
Joe: What's the sadness?
Bill: I want to tell them I love them. I just can't.
Joe: Can't or won't?
(You need to chase the cop-out when you get it.)
Bill: Well...(long pause)
Joe: What's wrong?
Bill: I haven't told them I love them in so long. (He begins to cry.)
Joe: How do you feel?
Bill: Really bad.
Joe: What are you doing?
Bill: Nothing.
(I felt it was time to ask the pointed question.)
Joe: What do you need to do, Bill?
Bill: Write--I need to tell them I love them.
Joe: When do you need to do it?
Bill: Today!
Joe: Will you?
Bill: Yes, I will. (A big sweet smile appears on his face.)
Joe: Will you come talk to me after you've written them?
Bill: Yes. (He takes off excitedly to get his pen & paper.)
The next day Bill came to me with a new smile on his face. "Wow," he said, "how can something so little affect you in such a big, big way?"
Of the countless qualities of love necessary to successful Christian leadership, the most important, I believe, is that love is unconditional. Most of our kids today feel like the love they receive is based on their performance. "I love your beautiful eyes." "I love you because you made straight A's." "I love you because you scored twelve points last night." When they don't meet up to a certain set of standards, they feel as if the love is gone.
Unconditional love, on the other hand, is so creative. It actually develops in the person being loved a desire to please--a desire to do the right thing.
I am the happy victim of seven cases of unconditional love. My parents really believe in me & hardly even notice when I make a mistake (though I seem to stumble regularly.) My wife has never demanded my performance for her love. My four little children think they have the best daddy in the World. What that love does to me is indescribable. First of all, it makes me so happy & fulfilled inside. Second, it puts a burning desire in my heart to please them! I don't want to let them down. I'll do anything to do right by them!
Think about the kids in your life. Do they really feel loved by you? Do they feel they have to measure up to your expectations before they receive your approval? Do they feel like they can depend on you to be there when they need you?
One cold evening last winter, Jamie (our eight-year-old girl) came home from gymnastics sad & brokenhearted. Her best friend had made the "A" team & she was placed on the "B" team. My wife, with her kind & sensitive heart, saw Jamie's sad eyes & told me to spend some "Daddy-Kid time" with Jamie. I took her in my arms & we sat in the rocking chair together & rocked for a long time. I told her how many times I sat on the bench & didn't make the "A" team & how God looks at our heart, not our team number. After many stories & a lot of hugs she felt better & ran off smiling. That night as I tucked her into bed & kissed her goodnight, she wrapped her little arms around my neck & whispered in my ear, "Daddy, thanks for tying my heart back together tonight."
ENTHUSIASM--THE BUILDER OF SELF-WORTH
A great leader of people has enthusiasm about those he's leading. General Dwight. D. Eisenhower had the best way to get the point across. He'd take a short piece of string & lay it on the table. He'd look at his audience & show that if you tried to push it along it'd go nowhere, but if you grabbed the end & pulled it, it would follow you anywhere you wanted to go. Enthusiasm for people motivates them to follow you with their heart as well as their body & mind.
Kids will never stop trying for a father or mother who thinks their child is "the greatest."
Behind a surge of suicides in young people today is a generation of teens with a poor self-image. Suicide is the ultimate expression of unworthy feelings & low self-esteem. More than a million children a year in America consider suicide. About 7,000 carry the thought to its tragic climax. Dr. W.M.O. Harrison, the Director of Clinical Investigation for the U.S. Navy, believes after extensive investigation that "the individual with poor self-esteem is more likely to be in trouble with the authorities, more likely to be involved in continuing drug & alcohol use, & less able to develop a strong, stable, intimate relationship."
One of the most sobering thoughts I've even come to grips with as a parent is that I am a mirror to my children. They see themselves as I see them. If I am critical, they feel unworthy. If I am positive & enthusiastic about them, they feel valuable. My sensitive-hearted wife sank this truth eternally into my mind one day when I was being overly critical of my oldest son. She said, "Honey, he wants your approval so badly. He looks into your eyes all the time to see if he's doing good."
Most parents are certainly energized by a newborn family member. The excitement we feel for that child carries us through all the dirty diapers, spilled milk & sleepless nights. But by the time that girl or boy reaches junior high, the little toddler messes become major family hassles & too many of us parents lose the desire to be in our teen's fan club any longer. Usually that boy has picked up so many of his father's negative characteristics or that girl her mom's that a great damper falls on our hopes that motivated us before. Kids never outgrow the need for that regular shot of praise that charges them into the day with hope!
CONSISTENCY--PRACTICING WHAT YOU PREACH
A leader must be consistent with his message. My dad's favourite poem is a pattern for his life:
I'd rather see a sermon
Than hear one any day;
I'd rather one should walk with me
Than merely show the way.
The eye's a better pupil
And more willing than the ear;
Fine counsel is confusing,
But example's always clear.
And the best of all the preachers
Are the ones who live their creed;
For to see good put in action
Is what everybody needs.
I soon can learn to do it
If you let me see it done;
I can watch your hands in action,
But your tongue too fast may run.
And the sermon you deliver
May be wise & true,
But I'd rather get my lesson
By observing what you do.
For I might misunderstand you
And the high advice you give;
But there's no misunderstanding
How you act & how you live.
--Author Unknown
The greatest opportunity you have, bar none, to teach your kids the qualities you want to see in them is the way you live your daily life. They watch every move you make, hear the tone of your voice, & seem to be especially keen at picking up actions & attitudes that contradict your verbal messages.
Here are a few small examples that I have noticed consistently in teenagers I've encountered with social problems:
1. The child has a problem with lying. His father is called to the phone & says to his wife when he is tired, "Tell them I'm not at home!" The mom turns down the March of Dimes Chairmanship by saying over the phone, "I can't, we have relatives coming in this weekend." The truth is she is already on three committees & just doesn't want a fourth!
2. The teenager has a problem speeding. The parents also speed & use sophisticated means to evade the police. They use the excuse that speeding is necessary to get to work on time.
3. The teenager smokes pot regularly. The parents drink socially. The teenager feels that his pot is no worse than the parent's alcohol. The parents explain that because of age & legality there is a big difference. The child (I have found) seldom agrees!
4. The teenager faces sexual pressures with his boyfriend or girlfriend. His parents are unfaithful to their marriage vows. Often the child gets his sexually permissive training from the evening television comedies, movies & daily soap operas.
We would never let a murderer, a rapist, or a sexual pervert into our homes. But it is amazing how many of just such people we let into our homes every hour via TV sets! And the television makes it all look so attractive to the growing & questioning mind of a child!
CREATIVITY--MAKING HOME THE BEST PLACE TO BE
Oscar Wilde said, "The best way to make kids good is to keep them happy." Kids love to stay home when the home has parent leaders that make it the "funnest" place to be.
No family plans to fail. They just fail to plan! If we gave our businesses, clubs, & committees the amount of creative energy that most parents give to their family times we'd all be looking for a job! If you're concerned with all those quarters your children feed the video games, or the thousands of hours they waste in front of the TV set, or the way they can't wait to get out with their friends at night, or the difficulty you have in having a happy & positive meal together, then join me for an adventure in making your home a Disney World.
The first prerequisite for being a contagious & creative leader is to develop a happy heart. Maintaining a happy heart is a continual challenge for me. It is amazing how the pressures parents face in their jobs & in their homes can put a cloud over hearts that want to be happy. What works best for me--& I believe the key to being admired by your kids as a happy person--is to be continually thankful for all that you have.
As I wake up I begin to count the thousands of blessings I have. The smile begins to grow. The day brightens up. When the pressures come I shoot thank-you arrows at them.
The second key to making your home the place that provides winning relationships is to take time every day to create fun & meaningful times together as a family.
Turn off the TV set. Replace it with something better! In our house we don't watch much TV. We play family volleyball with a big balloon over the bed. We all get on the king-sized bed & have pillow fights. Our best times are Saturday & Sunday festivities. Fishing, roller skating (I'm the only "big person" in the arena--looks kind of weird when I do the limbo with the little preschoolers, but it is fun!), horseback riding, hiking, mountain climbing, skiing, playing charades, etc.
A family event that never gets old is having mini-carnivals in the living room with prizes for the winner. Here are great carnival events that please every age:
1. Throwing darts at balloons with prizes written on paper folded inside. (Thumbtack the balloons on a plywood backboard.)
2. Pitching pennies at three cups set at various distances from the throwing line. The harder the cup is to hit, the higher the score.
3. Pitching a cowboy hat onto a broomstick.
4. Bobbing for apples.
5. Racing Ping-Pong balls with air blown through straws.
Here are some other fun family ideas I've seen work:
1. After supper, clear the table & have your family sit equal distance around the dining room table with each one's chin above the tabletop. Place a Ping-Pong ball in the center of the table & have everyone blow.
Whoever lets the ball fall off the table washes one dirty supper plate. Soon everyone has several to wash & it becomes a party.
2. Make mealtime a positive experience every day. Let Dad take the household chores the next morning for the one who contributes the most to the conversation. Place a cookie jar in the center of the table & enforce the rule that every time anyone (yes, you too!) says something negative, grouchy, or critical, he has to put in a quarter of his own money. At the end of the week have a family meeting to pick a charity to give the "pot" to.
3. Pick one night a week & call it Family Night. Have everyone mark it on their schedule well in advance & guard its priority with great care. A great family night plan is to use the first one for family goal-setting. Everyone pitches in the things he'd like to see the family accomplish. The ground rules are that you must be positive--get out the cookie jar (25 cent fine) for a reminder. Remember to be enthusiastic about the children's contributions.
SERVANTHOOD--THE FORMULA FOR GREATNESS
The most famous Teacher of all time was asked the big question, "How do you become a great leader?" The reply was typically revolutionary & to the point: "If you want to be great, you must be servant of all." His pupils remembered those famous lines when they found Him kneeling before them with a towel & bowl of water washing their dirty feet the night before He was killed. Jesus Christ's greatest moments came as He served.
Take time today, & the days to follow, to write down the names of your spouse & children. Beside each name record the deeds that you can do to meet their needs. This doesn't mean spoiling them! The needs that your family has are found in abundance in the areas of the value they feel you afford them, the time you spend with them, the hugs, the encouragement, the little love notes of praise, & the countless acts of lovingkindness in good times & bad times.
The famous account of one of our nation's greatest heroines has a story behind it that has seldom been told.
In the basement of an old New England psychiatric home in the post-Depression years, a totally unresponsive catatonic schizophrenic patient lay curled in a bed on a bench in a solitary cell. She had been written off as incurable. She spoke not a word & would not move from her fetal position.
A housemaid passed her cell each day cleaning the perimeter. With her mop she would shove a plate of food under the door to the "hopeless" psychotic girl inside. But before she'd leave, the maid would gently nudge the girl with the end of her mop handle. As she communicated with the girl regularly day after day with the only means she had, she was saying, "Hey, in there, someone out here cares for you. You haven't been forgotten. Somebody cares." As the weeks went by, the girl began to come out of her ball. She began to receive the food with her hands. Soon she was sitting up. As time went by, she began to communicate with the housekeeper. In time she was totally cured.
Months later the director of that psychiatric home was confronted by a desperate man from Tuscumbiz, Alabama. He was requesting someone who could work with a blind, deaf mute who had also received the "hopeless" label. The director led the man to the miraculously recovered girl in his home & Annie Sullivan began her historic work with Helen Keller.
Love meets practical needs any way it can--even if all you have to work with is the end of a mop handle!
So often today our teenagers seem so hopeless. Their attitudes & actions can appear very disappointing. But the parent who continues to serve them "with the end of the mop handle" is likely to see a great recovery in their lives.
DISCIPLINE--THE NECESSARY BALANCE
My dad laid down the basics in our family clearly. "When you break a rule, you're going to be punished." He never hit us anywhere but on the bottom. He never left bruises, but he always left an impression!
The Bible commands that teenagers be lovingly disciplined. Effective discipline requires a few basic prerequisites:
1. Make the guidelines clear. Using voice tone, facial expressions, & well-chosen words, you can begin the discipline process by clearly defining the rules.
2. Make the guidelines understandable. Taking the time to explain the rules makes them so much easier to follow. When a child knows "why", he will follow the rule from his heart & not just from his head or from fear of punishment. This principle is followed in every successful line of management I've ever encountered. By our very human nature we detest being given empty orders. Rebellion is born at this stage of discipline if it is not given with care.
3. Define the punishment clearly. One of the very basic rules of our household is that any sort of lying will result in corrective discipline. A few weeks ago my six-year-old lied to me about the cause of a sibling scuffle. I said calmly, "Corky, you know the rule of this house, that lying gets a spanking, don't you?" "Yes, sir." "Okay, then after supper I'll meet you in your room."
Our spankings are not excessively hard & fortunately have been very few because they began early in life, but they are respected with much feeling because the basic guidelines are followed.
4. Follow through! Sam lived in our youth home for a year. We got him out of a psychiatric hospital that had cost his dad $400,000 in six months. Sam felt worse when he came out of the hospital than when he went in. The hospital had him on a daily diet of 90 mg. of valium & 775 mg. thorasine. After two years of consistent love & discipline by the youth home staff, today Sam is a productive member of society. I asked him where his home life went wrong. His reply lasted for an hour.
"I don't remember ever being spanked. My parents would threaten to ground me & I'd beg & plead my way out. A two-week grounding usually lasted about half a day. We'd always talk about it. Then my dad would issue the punishment. Mom would argue that it was too severe, & they'd end up arguing about it. I'd get off scot-free. The first day I got suspended from school, Dad took my car keys & ordered me upstairs. I got my keys after two hours & ran away for a day. All they said when I came home was `dinner's ready'.
"I can't blame my parents. I was born to be wild, I guess, but I have some advice for parents. Punish meaningfully. Always follow through. Parents must stick together. Give a child only as much responsibility as he earns. Why did I have a car, three credit cards, & a giant allowance when I acted like a child? [He pulled up his shirt & sadly showed me the stretch marks on his stomach left from the time he lost ninety pounds in a month while on a drug binge that cost more than $100 a day to support.]
"I'm scared to have kids...as I look back I wish my parents could have laid down the law. Maybe it would have been easier to lay down the law for myself. Today my biggest problem is disciplining myself."
I have surveyed several hundred teenagers this past summer seeking to understand their feelings about this controversial issue. The results were very interesting.
Ninety-two percent felt that they were disciplined "about right" or not quite enough. Only 2 percent felt they were "definitely over-disciplined". Six percent were not sure.
Ninety-six percent either did not resent the discipline they received or only resented it "sometimes". Again 2 percent definitely resented it.
The types of discipline that they felt worked best for them were:
a. To be grounded
b. To be talked & listened to
c. To have the car, phone, TV taken away
d. "Disciplined out of love that you can see hurts your parents"
e. Disappointment expressed by parents
f. Taking away allowance & privileges
g. Whippings
h. "Explaining what I did wrong & showing me how to correct it"
Almost all strongly preferred "being talked to with love" before & after the correction was administered.
5. Never discipline out of anger. Cool down. Think. Wait until you have peace of mind to sit down, talk & apply some love. When God created Man, He created the perfect spot for fielding the corrective blow of discipline. It is plenty sensitive & not easily injured. The bottom is the place for spankings. Kids across the board hate being hit violently by parents, especially in the face. A parent who slaps his child is guaranteed to produce a lifetime enemy or a bitter & insecure child.
6. Discipline begins with little things like respect. "Yes, sir," "No, ma'am," "Do not `talk back' to your mother." I believe to be an effective parent you must command respect in every area of your home.
CHRISTLIKENESS--THE POWER FOR LEADERSHIP
A touching story has been passed along through the years of a blind, crippled boy propped up on a stool in a busy California train station selling pencils for a few coins to buy his food. A man who was late to his train was dashing through the station & carelessly hit the stool, knocking the boy down & scattering coins & pencils across the floor. The man hardly missed a step as he scurried on to his train. Ten seconds later another man put the boy back on the stool, gathered every spilled pencil & coin, & put them back into their proper position in the boy's trembling hands. As he added a few coins, he turned to leave, but he stopped in his tracks as the boy called out to him saying, "Mister, are you Jesus?"
"No, son, I'm just one of His children," came the humble reply.
"I knew you were some kind of kin."
Of the thousands of people I've observed working with teenagers both inside & outside the family, the few who have been most successful & contagious have been those who were the most Christlike.
Living like Christ lived is impossible for me. It is painful at times. How far short I fall of my goal! But in the process of climbing that mountain I am finding much joy & satisfaction every day. His book is my number-one best-seller. I try to memorise it day by day. I want His thoughts to be my thoughts. I want His patience, His dedication, His Love.
As my children & I begin to memorise Bible verses together daily (they're ready to begin at age three & excited to continue at age nineteen), we discuss the meaning of each interesting word. "What does that mean, Daddy?" I know I look a little crazy acting out some of the words like "arrogant" & "unbecoming", but as the meaning sinks into their hearts the time is better spent in no other investment. As challenging family situations occur each day, we refer to last night's Bible verse & ask how it applies. "What would Jesus do in that situation?" I ask. The answer is always clear.
TO LOVE AS HE LOVED
A very wealthy man lived in the beautiful countryside of the state of New York with his wife & his millions. He was childless & said he'd give it all if he just had a son to love & to pass his inheritance on to. As his wife passed her thirties & entered her forties, he began to lose hope. Then one fateful day she became pregnant. Complications in childbirth cost his wife her life as she gave birth to a son with Down's Syndrome. The father loved his boy just the same. He poured his life into that boy. My, how he loved him!
At age twelve the boy died & the father followed his two loved ones shortly, suffering from a broken heart. With no one to inherit the father's wealth, the will dictated that a great auction would take place. An auctioneer would sell the houses, the land, & the livestock to the highest bidder. The wealthy drove for hundreds of miles to attend the auction. The auctioneer began the sale with an 11x14 picture of the boy, who had a Mongoloid face. "What do I hear for this first item up for bid?" the auctioneer cried. No one bid a dime. The audience was silent. They waited for the valuable things that were to come.
"Do I have a bid?...Does anyone care to bid?" At the last available minute a little lady in the crowd said, "I'll give five dollars for that picture, it's all I've got." She was the housemaid who had cared for the boy during his twelve years of life.
"Do I hear ten...will anyone bid ten? Going once, going twice...sold to the little lady for five dollars."
Then the auctioneer tore a letter from the back of the picture as he handed the picture to the lady who had won the bid. The letter was written personally in the hand of the father just before he died. It was signed & notarised.
"To the person who thinks enough of my son to buy this picture, I give my entire estate."
The auctioneer's hammer hit the anvil as he proclaimed, "Auction over!"
The hush that fell over the crowd lingered in the air for many years.
That is an accurate picture of God's Love for you. "To the person," He says, "who loves My Son, Jesus, enough to give Him his life, I'll give him everything I've got to give." Do you have this love? Do you share it with your children?
"He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" (Romans 8:32)
A FINAL WORD
Car Farley of the Boys Ranch of Texas once said, "A boy is the only thing God can use to make a man." When a son or daughter sees in their mom & dad heroes who demonstrate unconditional love, genuine enthusiasm, a life-style consistent with their teaching, creativity in life, a willingness to serve, well-balanced discipline, a pursuit of Christlikeness, & a solid prayer life, then that young boy or girl will grow up to be a quality individual, one who will be a jewel in your crown, one who will bring glory & honour to Christ for Eternity!