GO FOR THE GOLD!
Maria #302
DO 2961
9/95
By Maria
(Note: In this Letter, when discussing sexual activity, it is only within the context of the age restrictions outlined in the Love Charter.)
1. Dad and I have received a number of letters regarding the use of birth control of one form or another. Family members have expressed a variety of reasons why they felt the Family policy on birth control should either be changed or modified, usually in order to fit the situation they were writing about.
2. I've heard these letters with varying emotions. The letters from parents with large families usually make me cry, because I know theirs are such heartcries. They have truly sacrificed in the raising of their many children and I can sympathize with their desire for a break or rest. I can also understand the fear and uncertainty of the young married couples who see themselves with ever-increasing families, as they worry about the future and their ability to raise the children and support themselves, while at the same time being a blessing to the Home.
3. Hearing from the single moms is perhaps the hardest for me, as theirs is a difficult struggle trying to raise children without fathers and often without sufficient help and care from their Homes. Our unmarried teens and YA women fear becoming pregnant and not having a mate, meaning they would face life as a single mom, and they worry they will become stigmatized, talked about and unwelcome or unwanted by their peers or their Homes.
4. I have thought and prayed a great deal about this matter. I have cried out desperately to the Lord for those who have written about their difficulties. You see, the question isn't just if the Family can use birth control or not, it's much broader than that. It has to do with our whole attitude toward children, love, sex, sharing, the Law of Love, faith, trust and belief in God's Word.
A Word to You Young People
5. One of our young people wrote me and said, "Some YAs and teens feel that the reason the Family is having many of the battles we are faced with is simply that we have so many children. The fact that we were blobbed up in large Homes (before the Love Charter), the fact that we are struggling financially and that we don't have as many missionaries out on the field any more is because we have so many children. One girl said that after her first baby is born she will definitely take the pill so that she can be free to be a missionary and 'learn from our past mistakes' of having too many children." Other girls have lamented that it's the end of their "careers" when they get pregnant, and some have even tried to induce natural abortions!
6. It really saddens me that some of you younger ones could feel that way about children, especially after all Dad has said on the subject. Do you feel that way because our adults have inadvertently imparted this to you?--Or is it because you've been absorbing more of the ways and thoughts of the world than the Word of God?--Or is it both?
7. Haven't you young people read our Letters on the subject of children, motherhood, fatherhood, families and marriage, the classic Letters such as: "What Is That in Thy Hand?" (ML #315); "Real Mothers" (ML #389); "Jesus Babies" (ML #739); "God's Gift Is God's Work" (ML #744-746); "Frustrated" (ML #835:1-4); "One Wife" (ML #249); "Divorce" (ML #359); "Make It Work!" (ML #2433).
8. Of course, I don't entirely blame the attacks of the Enemy or the effects of outside System influences for this, as certainly the sample you have seen from some of the adults, especially if they have complained about pregnancies and large families, has echoed the message that children are a burden, pregnancy should be avoided and babies are too much work.
Mama's Personal Decision to Say Yes to the Lord About Having a Child!
9. All of this is very complicated and I've been very desperate about it. See, it affects me as well. As you know, the Lord and Dad recently put Peter and me together as a married team, and there is a good possibility that I could get pregnant too. For years I've been unyielded to the Lord in this area. I did not even want to get pregnant with David, and I wanted even less to get pregnant the second time, with Techi, but Dad's prayers prevailed! I'm so glad they did! I dearly love my precious kids and I'm so thankful that the Lord gave me such wonderful gifts in spite of myself!
10. In the past, it was hard for me to simply trust the Lord for His will in my life, but after Dad went to be with the Lord, I knew that he and the Lord were counting on me to not leave any area unsurrendered, but to yield everything to Him, in full faith that He knew what was best. I knew for the Lord's sake and your sake that I had to make a total commitment and not hold anything back.
11. So recently, when I prayed about and pondered the matter, I couldn't help but feel that any form of taking things into our own hands to prevent pregnancy is contrary to God's Word. It is saying to the Lord that you know better than He does; that you want control of your life, instead of yielding and trusting that He knows what's best for you.
12. I think that of all the decisions I've had to make and all the yielding I've had to do lately, the hardest one was to say yes to the Lord in this area--that of having a child. "But, Lord, I am too weak and sick; Lord, I am too busy and I have too much responsibility already; Lord, it wouldn't be very good security to have a baby and have to take care of all the paperwork and everything; Lord, it would disturb all of our folks here who need their rest and have such important jobs to do; but, Lord, we would have to have someone extra to take care of the baby, and we don't have enough room," and on and on the list goes!
13. But if I am going to be totally yielded to the Lord, I can't be selective and decide what I am going to yield to and what I am not going to yield to. I've got to say yes to the Lord step by step as I am presented with the different situations. If I am going to really trust the Lord, I am not going to use the rhythm method or condoms or whatever other preventative measures there might be.
14. If I am going to yield and I am going to trust the Lord, then certainly He knows what is best, even if I have all kinds of other contrary opinions. Does He know best or doesn't He? Is a baby a mistake? If the baby isn't a mistake, then that means if I get pregnant the Lord wants me to have it. If I do anything to prevent it, then I am denying what the Lord wants and I am going against His will.
15. I know this sounds awfully hard-line, but I don't see any way around it. It is the truth, and even if I don't like it and even if other people don't like it, it's still the truth. I may not be so enthusiastic about it either, but I can't change the way the Lord does things!
16. The Lord has been so good to me and has given me everything I've desired, and much, much more! If He also wants to give me the gift of another child--which He wouldn't give me unless He knew it was good for me--then I should certainly receive that gift, along with all the other gifts! How can I be selective?
17. How can I accept all His other gifts, but push His hand away if He wants to offer me a baby, and say, "I don't want this gift. I don't like it. It's not going to make me happy. You don't know what You're doing, Lord, so please withdraw Your offer. All Your other gifts are very nice, thank You very much, but this one is just not suitable. Thank You anyway."
18. I don't have any excuse about my age, because if He could give some of our other leaders and other older mothers babies at their age, there is no reason why He couldn't do the same with me! If they can take it, I should be able to as well. I can't claim my weak health as a reason not to have children, since I know very well that the Lord is able to strengthen me.
19. Even though it is difficult for me to give this message, I must, because I am responsible to speak the truth, just as Dad was. I can't water down what God has said just because you or I want things to be different. I'm very open to change, to progress, to freedom, as long as it's within God's will and is not contrary to His Word.
20. I have sought the Lord deeply on this matter and have asked Him to speak on a number of occasions about this, and He has, wonderfully! This first prophecy is a very important one, as it clearly explains the Lord's will and the choices you have in the matter.
Trust Me!--Go for the Gold!
21. (Mama prays:) Lord, there are a lot of people in the Family who either don't feel ready to have babies for one reason or another, or who don't want to have any more babies. There is an attitude that has crept in that babies are a burden and we've already had too many of them, and that we need to stop having so many.
22. The question I have is, what are we supposed to do? Are we supposed to trust You, or are we supposed to take matters into our own hands if we feel we have too many babies? Do we leave it completely in Your hands, or is it okay with You if we decide ourselves when we've had enough children?
23. Personally, I feel that if we want to be in Your highest will, then what we need to do is trust You. That's what Dad always said and this is what is expressed throughout all the Letters. But on the other hand, I know You are merciful and don't tempt us above that we are able.
24. We know You have mercy on all of us and You don't come down hard on people who overall are doing Your will, but who don't feel that they can attain Your highest will. You really want them to choose Your highest, but You said if they don't, there is still a measure of joy and blessing with the other, lesser choices within Your will. Maybe this is a case where You don't require the same standard of everyone.
25. I don't want to be so hard-line on people that it discourages them and they feel condemned or like they can't be happy living for You because they are missing the mark or they're disobeying and not trusting You. However, at this point I don't see any way around the fact that they have to trust You, and if we are going to trust You, it seems like we've got to trust You all the way; but I don't want people to be condemned if they feel they can't.
26. So, Jesus, would You please resolve this seeming conflict, this dilemma of do we need to trust You or don't we need to trust You? Or can we selectively trust You? Please speak to us clearly and completely, in Jesus' name.
27. (Prophecy:) Children are the heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward. Are they a burden? Or are they a blessing? Or are they both? Take a look around you at your children. Look at them all. Are they not the fulfillment of that which your Father David has said?
28. Look at these older ones. Are they not the princes and princesses that your father has said they would be? Have they not stood in the gates and spoken with your enemies? Are they not the army that I have said they would be?
29. And you teens and YAs, you who doubt about children, do you not understand that you were the babies of your parents when they were your age? Do you not understand that you are the fruit of their labors? And do you not understand that your fruit is their fruit?--That they are partakers of your labors, and that they will partake of your reward?
30. For they have invested in you. As he that takes his money and invests it in a project, and the project is successful and the project continues to make money and to prosper, so the original investor gains the dividends, has an increase and is rewarded for his investment. So are your parents receiving reward for that which you do, for they have invested their lives in you. And great is their reward in My Heavenly Kingdom, for they have laid down their lives for another--for you!
31. Judge ye: Should they have said, "Oh, I must prevent you from being born"? They could have said, "I can accomplish so much more if I did not have these young ones tugging at my skirts all the time. I could be more attractive if I did not have these children, or if I was not pregnant."
32. In the short term this may have been true, but it would have been as one who has money in his hand and says, "I have this money and if I invest it, I don't have it in my hand any more, for it is invested in something that I cannot see. So I must keep it and use it for myself." I say that these are the unwise investors. But he that invests wisely in My Kingdom reaps the rewards today, tomorrow and for eternity.
33. Look at your parents and ask yourself, "Did they invest wisely?" Look at yourself and say, "I am the fruit of their investment." And now I say unto you, what kind of investors will you be? "Oh," you say, "there is not enough time for our investments to come to fruition. For if we have our children now and the Time of the End comes, they won't be old enough that we can reap the rewards of our investment."
34. But you know not how the investment shall go. For some investments bring forth great reward speedily, and some are longer term. You cannot begin to think that you know what is ahead. For this only I know, and only I know what your investments will bring forth.
35. You seek to have a simple answer, you seek to know the simple word. The purest form of simplicity is this: Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not to your own understanding. If you would have simplicity, if you would have peace with no confusion, then trust Me explicitly, considering no other options, but just trusting. In this lies perfect peace.
36. For when you trust Me with all of your heart, when you trust Me with your life and every aspect of it, you can know that you are in My will. So if you would have perfect peace, then trust. Trust Me with your life. Trust Me with your death. Trust Me for your health. Trust Me for your children. Trust Me for the number of your children. Trust Me for the timing of your children.
37. Those that do this know that each child I bring forth through them is My will, My blessing and My reward. They will not go through their life wondering, "Is there one that I should have had that I didn't? Is there one that I prevented? Have I allowed my God to have full sway with me and to accomplish within me that which He pleased to do?"
38. To you whose bodies are tired from the bearing of children, I say trust. For in trusting you have put your life into My hands, and this shows your faith, in which I am well pleased.
39. To you young ones who have child after child and think, "Oh dear God! My usefulness to the Lord is over. I must stop having them, for they are too much for me, they are too many. What shall I do?" Unto you I say, trust Me. For I am the all-wise God and I know that which I do.
40. To you younger ones who are just married with one or two or no children and are contemplating what to do, and you look about you and see the fruitfulness of others, and you see the difficulties of large families, and you look at the young couples with increasing families and you wonder what to do, I say unto you, trust Me.
41. To you very young ones, unmarried, fearful, I say unto you, trust Me.
42. And to you single mothers who struggle, I know your struggle, and I say unto you, trust Me.
43. For this is the simple answer. This is My highest. This is the best. Trust Me. Trust in Me with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding.
44. Many of you look at the Words of David and the power and the strength of his Word and the forcefulness with which he brought forth the answer to this question, and you say, "Oh, but this is so hard! It is so unbending. It is even unmerciful!" I say that he spoke the truth, for he said unto you, trust God. He delivered unto you the standard of God. Had his Words not been strong and forceful and hard, you would have strayed, for your upbringing was such that you understood not the ways of God nor the will of God. But now you have learned.
45. And to this, the second generation, who have grown up knowing the Words of God, who have grown up without being controlled and indoctrinated in their youth by the ways of man, I can speak in a different manner. For you, the second generation, are more accountable, because you have had the Word of God all the days of your life.
46. You say, "Oh, those Words of David spoken to our parents made it so difficult for them, for it said they must do this and they must do that!" But that definiteness and firmness made it not more difficult, but easier. It was very easy for them to obey because they were directed! Their attitude was one of, "I will do this because the prophet has said so."
47. I honored them for this and I loved them for this!--For their obedience, for their loyalty and for their faith in the Words of David, My Words, My truth. I wish that you would also believe and obey these Words! But now you must obey and believe because of your choice.
48. I do not say that you must obey! For I place before you the majesty of choice. Each of you are as he that holds in his hand the funds which I have given unto you, and you must make the decision of how you will invest these funds, these gifts that I have put into your hand.
49. He that invests in the highest, in the path of trust, in the path of faith, in the path of complete yieldedness unto Me and unto My will, he that says, "Not my will but Thine be done," to him are the greatest blessings and the greatest rewards.
50. If you have not the faith to trust Me explicitly, to trust Me with all your heart, if you have only the faith to trust Me with most of your heart, then acknowledge Me and I will direct your path. Bring these matters before Me desperately in prayer, seeking Me diligently. I will show you what you should do, and I will have mercy on you. I understand. I will accept you and love you even though you lack full faith. But you are as those who do not fully invest, yet you reap the blessings of God, for you are My children and I love you.
51. You who take these matters into your own hands without seeking Me, without hearing My direction, you, too, are still My children and I love you. But you too must understand that I cannot bless you in full measure.
52. There is good, there is better and there is best. The best is to trust Me fully, for in full trust and in full faith you can have full freedom and have full peace, and have full reward and full blessing.
53. The better is he that trusts Me, who gives his life to Me, but who has reservations here or there, or matters in which they feel they cannot fully trust Me. Yet they still reap reward for their love for Me and for their faith in so many other matters, and I love them and I pour forth unto them My blessing and My anointing--maybe not in full measure, but in great love.
54. And the good? The good are those who love Me and serve Me, and who I am well pleased with, in that they have chosen to serve Me and that they have chosen to love Me. And though they have not given their whole hearts unto Me and do not fully trust Me, yet they have given their lives unto Me and I honor them and I reward them greatly. But they must carry much weight, for they keep many decisions unto themselves.
55. All of these, the good, the better and the best, are My children and I love them dearly and I accept them where they are, but I cannot reward them equally, nor can I bless them equally. So I lay before you the good, the better and the best, and I say, choose ye. And know this, that whether you choose the good, whether you choose the better, or whether you choose the best, that I love you and I understand.
56. I give you the choice. I let you decide, and in doing so, you choose your blessings, your rewards. This is true not only in the decisions regarding whether you will accept the children that I would give unto you or whether you will restrict them, but in all matters. He that trusts Me, he that yields unto Me, and he that gives all, receives the greater blessings and rewards. He that gives most, receives much. And he that gives little receives little.
57. All are loved and all are cared for, and unto all I give the basics of My blessings. But as he that runs the race and runs the fastest receives the medal of gold, and the next the medal of silver, and the next the medal of bronze, so is it in My Kingdom, and so is it with My blessings. For he that loves Me most follows closest.
58. Lovest thou Me?--Trust Me. Follow closest. But if you can't trust Me all the way, trust Me as much as you can. Keep serving Me, keep loving Me. For all three are blessed and all three are crowned with crowns, and all three are given medals of honor, for they have run the race.
59. I wish for all to receive the medals of gold, but all will receive their medals because all have run the race and all can stand on the podium and receive the honor and the glory that they deserve for serving Me in great love, for giving their lives unto Me. They all receive of My love, and they all receive the blessings, and I am proud of them all. (End of prophecy.)
Summary of "Trust Me!--Go for the Gold!" Prophecy
60. (Mama:) The Lord certainly answered wonderfully and clearly, didn't He? Let's review briefly the main points.
61. Number 1: Investing in children is a good, wise investment that brings God's blessings and rewards.--Rewards today, tomorrow and for eternity.
62. Number 2: The parents reap reward from the labor and fruit of their children.
63. Number 3: Our young people should also be wise investors, as their parents were, by being willing to have children.
64. Number 4: The simple answer for everyone who is having sexual intercourse and wondering about whether it is okay to use birth control is that it is best to trust the Lord explicitly, without using any form of birth control. If you're going to have sex, trusting the Lord concerning pregnancy is His highest and best, and through trusting Him fully, you will find perfect peace and He will reward you or bless you fully.
65. Number 5: If you are having sex but you don't feel you can fully trust the Lord concerning pregnancy, then you should bring it before Him in desperate prayer and He will show you what to do. In such a case, it's between you and the Lord what you choose to do, whether you choose to use some kind of birth control or not. If you trust the Lord in almost all matters in your life, but you feel like you just can't trust Him in some particular thing, such as whether or not you will have a child, then He says you must bear the weight of this matter yourself. And because you're not trusting Him 100%, He will not be able to give you His full blessings nor His full rewards, but He will have mercy. However, you sacrifice a little of the peace that comes with knowing you let the Lord have full sway in your life.
66. Number 6: If you choose not to trust the Lord in this and other matters, and you do not bring the matter before Him in serious prayer, but choose to take matters into your own hands, mainly doing what you think is best, then you must carry much more weight on your own. If you don't seek Him about this decision and commune with Him and receive His instructions for you personally, you will receive even less rewards and blessings.
67. Number 7: Each one of us must live with the consequences of our decisions. The Lord makes it clear, with the gold-silver-bronze medal example, that there are different levels of reward, depending on how much we're trusting Him.
68. Number 8: The Lord reminds us not to see things with the eyes of man. Man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. He cautions us not to judge one another, for only He can judge.
69. Number 9: In the past, the Lord used Dad's insistence on such matters as a means to keep us, as a Family, within God's will. Dad's strictness, his firmness and definiteness helped to purge us of our System ways, because we had been polluted from growing up in the System. But now, all of us, old and young alike, are accountable to the Lord to obey because we choose to, because we want to obey, not because we must obey. Our choices determine our blessings and rewards. This applies to all areas of our lives, not just the question of having children.
70. Number 10: Whatever medal we choose to go for--the gold, the silver or the bronze--we will be rewarded accordingly, both here and now, and for eternity. We will all stand on the podium and be rewarded because we have given our lives in service to the Lord. Those who invest in the highest, the path of complete trust and faith and yieldedness, those who give all for the Lord will be given the greatest blessings and rewards. Those who give almost all, but who hold back in a few areas, will receive much reward. And those who give little and who have many reservations and many unyielded areas will receive less reward. Yet in all this He will honor us all for our love and service for Him.
More Questions About Sex and Sharing!
71. I was so thankful that the Lord spoke so clearly in answer to our questions. However, as I prayed about the matter further, and discussed it with Peter and others, I realized that some of you young people will still have further questions after reading the above prophecy. We realized that you would be in a bit of a dilemma because the Lord is encouraging you to share more with others, even share sacrificially, but He's also saying that if the woman gets pregnant, in many cases you should get married. This is no doubt a hard saying for you, because many of you will want to follow the Lord's encouragement to share more, but you may be fearful of a pregnancy occurring, and as a result, your having to marry someone you're not in love with.
72. Considering these difficulties that you young people would be facing, I felt the Lord must have more to say on the subject. So Peter and I prayed, bringing this overall problem before the Lord, asking Him if He could explain things a bit more clearly and help us resolve these problems. The following is what He said:
Freedom to Live the Law of Love!
73. (Prophecy:) Behold the love that I have given unto the children of David, that they can share My love freely, one with another, to find great joy therein, great happiness, great fulfillment, that they may know the ecstasies of the flesh and the ecstasies of the Spirit. I have given you these sensations of the flesh that you may know joy, release, relief, happiness and closeness one to another. I do not mean this to be a burden, but a blessing, a strengthening, a unifying factor, a measure to draw you close one unto another, to unite you together as one body, as one bride, as one marriage.
74. So unto you who are married I say, trust Me, for I am He that creates life, I am He that chooses to give unto you your children, and thus trust Me. And if this be too difficult for you, then seek Me, as I have said. [Here the Lord is referring to the "Trust Me!--Go for the Gold!" prophecy.]
75. And for you unmarried who wish to become one with another, one in flesh in full union, in full intercourse, I say unto you, trust Me. But become one knowing that you put your life into My hands, that of your union I could see fit to bring forth one of My children into this world. And when I have given you this gift, if you can receive it, I would that you would marry, for two are better than one in the care of one of My little ones.
76. But that you would enjoy the freedoms and the love that I have given unto you, I say unto you unmarried that you may love one another. You may love with your hands and love with your mouths, you may kiss and caress and rub and go [have an orgasm] and enjoy the ecstasies of the flesh, but not fully becoming one, not having intercourse. For thus I free you from the burden of the responsibility of pregnancy so that you may learn to have the closeness and the love one with another, that you may fulfill My Law of Love, that you may share freely without worry, and that you may show My love in a tangible, touchable, feelable way one unto another, without partiality.
77. For I now take away the excuse for you unmarried, for you are now free to love, to kiss, to caress, to hold, to enjoy without fear. So love and kiss and caress and enjoy and hold not back, for such love is of Me, for I am love.
78. And when you choose to have a full union [intercourse] with one, do so in prayer, do so in wisdom, and do so in My love, in full faith, knowing that there is responsibility there. But show love, give love, supply love, that you may be called the children of love, the Family of Love, the children of David. (End of prophecy.)
79. (Mama:) Isn't the Lord just wonderful to so beautifully and lovingly resolve this dilemma by making a way for you to obey Him, yet not making it too difficult for you?
80. I still had another question, however. If you, our unmarried ones, are having sexual activity together, but are not having full intercourse, are you then not fully trusting the Lord?
81. Knowing that He must have an answer to this seeming conflict, and that God's ways are far above our ways, once again we brought our question to the Lord. Here is what He said:
A Step-by-Step Journey of Love!
82. (Prophecy:) These young and unmarried have not the same trust in Me that their parents did when they were young, and I must nurture this trust in them. I must bring them along step by step. So I call them first to love, first to share, first to get to know one another, first to kiss, first to caress, and I will put in their hearts the desire to do more, and then I will ask them to trust Me. For first they will be pleased to know that they can be within My will just by loving, kissing and caressing, and then I will work in their lives and they will learn to trust Me and they will make decisions to marry. For by allowing them to love without responsibility, I will bring them into loves where they will want the responsibility, and I will make two as one, and they will trust Me.
83. So let Me lead them step by step, for I will guide them and I will shepherd them, and I will bring them unto Me, and I will bring forth the unions that I wish to bring forth, and I will bring forth the children that I wish to bring forth.
84. So to My young ones, I do say, trust Me! But I say this to them when they are faced with the decision to have full intercourse or not; then I say unto them, trust Me. I must first bring them to the place of decision, and then I say unto them, trust Me for the outcome.
85. And for the husbandless mothers, I do the same. For I wish for them to have the fellowship and the supply of their needs and the love they need. In doing so, I will also bring them to the position where they will trust Me, and I will use this ease with which they can share their love and have love shared with them to bring forth those who will love them and who will want to be with them and who will want to father their children. So they too will be in the position, in My time, to say, "I will trust You!"
86. When a union brings forth a child, I wish for these to marry, but I do not demand it, for I seek the willing and the yielded heart. And when there is a question, bring it to Me and I will reveal My will and I will speak to the hearts of these that have brought forth this fruit from the seed of their union.
87. (Dad speaking:) When I was with you, I made it pretty clear that I was all for marriages. I gave the ideal, but I left room for some movement in the Spirit. So when a baby results from a date, and it seems very questionable about whether the couple should get together, then bring it to the Lord, and He and we can show what is His will, for very little is black and white.
88. The Word is given, but it's not like the laws of Moses where "thou shalt do this" or "thou shalt not do that!" I set down the standard, the truth, but seldom were things so hard and fast. There was always a little room to maneuver for certain situations that didn't fit exactly. So when something doesn't fit exactly, then seek the Lord and pray, and He can show you.
89. The key is to follow the Word, but to keep praying; to keep the general guidelines, to keep following closely, but praying each step of the way and being sensitive to the Spirit. So trust and pray, follow and pray, read the Word and pray. (End of prophecy.)
90. (Mama:) When the Lord first told you young people that you were to trust Him, He was giving us the basic principle. He was giving us the simplest answer possible, saying, "It's best to trust Me." But then He went on to give more details of what this means when He explained that the final point of decision to trust Him comes when you decide to actually have sexual intercourse. And now in the prophecy that you just read, He explains why He is allowing you to be within His will even when you're having sexual contact without fucking.
91. In the above prophecy He reiterates that it is His desire (or goal) that people have full faith to trust Him completely, knowing that He will lead them and control their lives in love and give unto them all good things. But He's bringing you unmarried ones to this point of full trust by leading you step by step. He indicated that while this "journey of love" would begin with loving, kissing, caressing and mutual masturbation, that with time, those involved would learn to love each other and to trust Him more fully.
92. By allowing you unmarried people to enjoy one another sexually without expecting you to fuck, He is allowing you to lovingly supply each other's needs and to get to know one another better. The fruit will be that you will grow closer to each other and you will love one another. The Lord says that through this loving sexual fellowship He will lead you unmarried ones to people with whom you will desire to have full intercourse and take the responsibility of pregnancy and marriage. It is at that point, when you decide to have full intercourse, that you will need to make the choice as to whether you will fully trust the Lord concerning the responsibility of having children together.
93. When two people decide to have some sexual fellowship, they should discuss and agree together beforehand how far they want to go. If either person does not want to have full intercourse, then they should not go that far. Neither should the one who seems to have the stronger faith pressure the other one.
When Married Couples Share Outside Their Marriage!
94. If you are married you may wonder what happens if you decide to have sex outside of your marriage union. In other words, what if you decide to share with someone other than your mate? Would you then be considered "unmarried"?
95. If married people were to be seen as "unmarried" when sharing with anyone other than their mates, then they would be able to apply the Lord's counsel to the unmarried to their situation, which means they could opt to not fuck, but love in other ways when with someone other than their mate. We brought this question before the Lord. We needed to know for sure whether the Lord is giving married folks the same dispensation of grace that He gives the singles. The Lord gave the following prophecy:
96. (Prophecy:) The giving of love is the sharing of love. The showing of My love one to another is the most important. For love begets love. Kindness begets kindness. Mercy begets mercy. So does the giving of love one to another beget the giving of love to others. For it breaks down the walls of partition and brings forth unity and love and care and compassion one to another.
97. I do not wish for those who would love to hold back in fear. For I wish My love to be given unto all, that all can benefit from My love, in the arms of another, with the kisses and caresses of another, that all can partake of My love one with another.
98. So I say unto you, he that is married is as a single when with a single, that My love may be spread and given freely without fear. As with the single and single together, when the decision is made to love fully, then I say, trust Me.
99. As with single and single together, you can give love in many forms and thus satisfy the desire for love, and satisfy My desire that you would love one another. For My greatest desire is that you would all love one another, that you would all be My love one for another. That in loving one another you would break down the walls of partition. Share love and so fulfill My will. (End of prophecy.)
100. (Mama:) His greatest desire is that you share love one with another, that you show His love to each other. He doesn't want you married couples to hold back for fear of either the wife getting pregnant with someone else's baby or the husband getting another woman pregnant. If you do decide to have full sex with someone outside your marriage, then He asks you to trust Him, but you can also freely choose to not have full sex, but to enjoy other forms of lovemaking.
101. It seems the thing the Lord is most interested in is our sharing love with each other, not necessarily in our having the faith to have babies with everyone we share with sexually. In this case, apparently any reservations or hesitancy to get pregnant with a child from someone other than the husband is canceled out by the love you're willing to show in sharing with others. The Lord will be much more pleased with your sharing love, even if you don't choose to have full sex, than if you hold back and don't share at all.
102. Of course, even though you would be as an "unmarried" person when you have sexual contact with others outside your marriage, you should still counsel with your mate about such relations. It would be advisable to come to a united decision with your mate concerning how far your sexual sharing with others outside your marriage would go, whether you would have full sexual intercourse with others or stay with other forms of sexual activity, excluding intercourse.
103. I pray that you married couples aren't feeling like, "Why is the Lord not insisting that the unmarried people have the faith for children when they have sexual fellowship, when He's expecting it of us? At least He's expecting us to trust Him completely concerning the sex we have with each other."
104. Well, when people get married, they are in effect committing themselves to having full sexual intercourse. When you make a decision to get married, you are making a decision to become one, to have full sex as man and wife. You are no longer engaged or dating or courting, you're married. When anyone chooses to have full sex, the Lord's highest will is for them to trust Him, and not use birth control.
105. Of course, married couples are free to enjoy other forms of lovemaking besides intercourse (mutual masturbation or oral sex) when making love to each other, for the sake of pleasure and variety, or when the woman is on her period. But if they were to do that exclusively and if they were consciously avoiding having full sexual intercourse for the purpose of not getting pregnant, then it would be considered birth control. (By the way, men engaging in oral sex with women is not forbidden under the Charter, and is therefore permitted. However, men who wish to do so should remember Dad's cautions in Letters 539:25, 1315:51, and 1566:93.)
106. The Lord has said in the Letters over and over throughout the years and again in "Trust Me!--Go for the Gold," that He will honor and bless you abundantly for raising the precious children that He has given you. He knows your sacrifice and He will repay. He already has, through the love of your children! You are reaping rewards through the fruits of your children, in this life and in the life to come!
107. I want to share with you a talk that Dad gave a few months before his Homegoing. The tone of it is quite strong, but as the Lord said, He had His reasons for Dad delivering His messages with such force. I feel that it will be of benefit for us all to hear what Dad had to say, and that it will help you married couples to have the faith to fully trust the Lord in the matter of your children.
* * *
What If Not?
Discussion on Whether or Not to Use Contraceptives
By Dad
3/94
108. We've had several of our people write in recently, asking about birth control. One said she's had seven children so far and she's getting tired of it. A number of teenage girls that do not seem to be too fond of our birth policies have also written me. In this last case, a man and his wife who wrote in have eight children and they were just wondering if that was enough and couldn't they possibly use some birth control.
109. I told him, "Why ask me? You already know what I think about it. I think the Lord must think you're wonderful parents or He wouldn't have given you so many children!" I know that having and raising children is difficult. I've been through that six times now--four times with my first family and twice with Maria. I also sympathize with the mothers, because I know it's taxing on their bodies to have so many children.
110. But take a look at all of our Family children. They're wonderful! Sure they are a lot of work! Sure the parents have to sacrifice!--But look at the results! They're the best kids in the world today--the most powerful witnesses! I'm proud of them! And I'm proud of their parents who have given their lives to raise them. No wonder the Lord keeps giving you more, because He knows what good parents you are and He wants you to raise more children of light in this world of darkness.
111. We are a people who know and love the Lord and trust Him, right? Don't you think the Lord knows what He's doing? You're not going to have one child that isn't God's will. Do you believe that or not? I don't think He's going to give you any more children unless it's His will. Don't you think the Lord knows if you can stand any more children?
112. My mother blew a fuse when she heard Eve and I were going to have a third child. She said, "That's it! That's enough! You're fired!" But do you know what happened? That child, Hosea, became her favorite and was her biggest helper when my father had a stroke. He lived with them for two years and took care of my dad full time, and my mother found she could hardly do without him! When we started Teens for Christ, I told her she was going to have to get somebody else. Other people could take care of an invalid, but nobody could preach like Ho! Imagine, the one she complained the most about and murmured the most about us having, turned out to be the greatest blessing to her!
113. Eve got to the point where she said, "My God, is this all I'm going to do for the rest of my life, have babies and wash diapers? When am I going to stop having babies and get back to the Lord's work?"
114. That was the Lord's work! He was preparing the team that was going to start something worldwide that has won millions of souls! Having those babies and changing and washing their diapers as diligently as she did, and taking care of them as diligently as she did, training them up in the way they should go was the biggest work for the Lord she ever did! It was her work, her training of those children that actually started the Family.
115. So my answer to those who have been writing in about this is: Don't you think God knows His business? What do you think God thinks about it? What if Eve had taken things into her own hands, after the first one or two, and said, "I am going to quit having children. I don't want to have any more." Look what would have been missed!--Especially if she would have prevented the birth of Ho and Faithy, who were the most instrumental in beginning the Family. She would have missed God's will. Are you going to use contraceptives to try to prevent the will of God? Who knows what you'll miss!
116. That's the way I feel about it, and if I hadn't taken a firm stand on that throughout our Family history, we wouldn't have so many children who are now becoming teens and our very best witnesses and defenders!--Just like I said they would way back there in the beginning.
117. Look at all that would not have been accomplished had we allowed contraception in the Family, if our couples had taken the selfish stand to just have children when they wanted them and not have them if they didn't want them.
118. Who impresses people the most? It's our children! All the investigators come and observe our kids, and the sociologists are just raving about our children, saying they're the best they've ever seen and more intelligent and more socialized and higher quality and everything. They're just raving about them!
119. I know raising kids is hard! I know it's hard on you precious women to have so many. I know it's hard on you husbands when your wife seems to be pregnant most of the time. But God says, "Endure hardness!" (2Tim.2:3).
120. When my father was faced with the hardship of having an invalid wife, he could have prayed, "Oh, God, please take her! What can I do with an invalid wife? Can't You take her and give me another one?" But he insisted on praying for that woman, that God would heal her! And God did it and performed one of the most marvelous miracles you ever heard of, which produced one of the most marvelous women you ever heard of, who evangelized the nation, won thousands of souls to the Lord, healed hundreds, and then she produced me, of all things!
121. She could've said, "Lord, I've already got two children! Here I'm now working with my husband in churches and giving my life story and becoming an evangelist, how can I handle another child?" She had these other two kids to take care of as well as her husband. What did she do? She thanked the Lord, praised the Lord, named me David, and believed God that I was going to do something for the Lord! Having been a poor invalid, should she have used contraceptives so she wouldn't have had a third child?
122. What if she hadn't had me? (Fam: There wouldn't have been a Family!) There would be millions of souls unsaved and thousands of young people still drifting around without any keels, with no direction, lost, unsaved and unwanted and doing nothing for the Lord, even doing themselves and their families damage.
123. Because those women [my mother and Eve] were willing to suffer and have those babies, the world is a very different place, and millions of souls will spend eternity in Heaven. Does God know what He's doing? Are you willing to leave it in the hands of God no matter what, and consider that God knows best--that if you have another child, it's the will of God, even if you don't feel able to take care of it? Well, that's how I feel about it!
124. Who do you think you are to question the wisdom of God in letting you have children? Who do you think you are to tell God what He should do or not do? Why don't you look to the Lord and trust God and be yielded to His will, whatever it may be? You don't know what God may be going to do through the children He wants to give you--whether it's the first or second or third, or the ninth or tenth or twelfth!
125. I appreciate your problem and I appreciate your being concerned about it. But why not just put it in God's hands and let Him worry about it? You're His! You're bought with a price! Trust Him with your life and with the life of your children, no matter how many He wants to give you! They are the Lord's heritage. They are His love gifts to you. Amen?
Review of the Main Points Concerning the Law of Love, Sex and Pregnancy!
126. (Mama:) Through all the Lord and Dad have said, I believe we now have the complete answers that we need. Perhaps it would help to review the overall "big picture," the things the Lord has been saying recently on the subject of the Law of Love, sex and pregnancy.
127. For starters, the Love Charter brought about some changes in the sexual rules of the Family, in that it allows our 16- and 17-year-olds to participate in sexual fellowship with those aged 16 through 20, if those involved mutually desire. The Lord said that it was His desire to give you 16- and 17-year-olds the freedom to partake of His love one with another, and that such freedom would help to bring about the true freedom that He wants to give, the freedom of the Spirit!
128. The Lord indicated that those of this senior teen age group were at different levels and that some would partake of the sexual freedoms readily while others would progress more slowly; that they shouldn't be pressured by their peers to participate, but should proceed at a speed that is comfortable for them.
129. He also clearly stated that pregnancy would occur from their sexual sharing, just as it does in the older age groups, and that we should not fear it; that He ordains it so He can use it to teach and train, to mature and to shepherd the young people, and that pregnancy and marriage will be His tools to draw them closer to Him.
130. In this GN, it seems quite evident to me, and I hope to you as well, that the Lord's preferred choice for married couples is that you trust Him for the number of children you have. For those who are not married, but choose to have sexual intercourse, His highest will is that you trust Him concerning pregnancy as well, believing that if He wants to bring forth a child through your lovemaking, He will; and if He does, that the child is His gift of love to you. In such a case, He expects you to care for the child and in most cases to marry.
131. For married couples, and any others who choose to fuck, His highest will seems to be that you do not use any form of birth control. However, in His understanding, sympathetic love, He lovingly makes allowances for those who feel they can't fully trust Him in this matter. But in doing so, He clearly explains His terms, that He cannot fully bless you when you do not fully trust Him.
132. For those who are not married or are married to others, the Lord is allowing you to have sexual fellowship together other than full sexual intercourse. He wants you to enjoy the love and freedom of such fellowship without being concerned about pregnancy. This will allow you to share with others who are in need and those you are drawn to. However, once you decide to have full sex with someone, to have intercourse, then you must consider the counsel the Lord put forth in "Trust Me!--Go for the Gold!"
133. Some of you may question, "Why can those who are not married participate in sexual activity with one another and just refrain from intercourse? Isn't that abstinence, and thus birth control? If so, then what is the difference between that and using a condom?"
134. The difference is that the Lord said He's allowing this blessing of limited sexual fellowship for our unmarried people for a reason. He wants our dear Family to have an avenue to share love and meet each other's needs without fear of pregnancy. He wants to take away any excuses people may now have for not sharing, so that by giving more love and affection through kisses, caresses and touches, you will be drawn together in greater unity and fulfill His Law of Love. But He makes it clear that once you make the decision to engage in full sexual fellowship, intercourse, He wants you to trust Him--if you are willing--and He will reward you accordingly. So once anyone makes the decision to have full sexual intercourse, the Lord puts before them the choice to trust Him completely, which is His highest will.
135. I believe the Lord has clearly stated His will, throughout this GN and in Letter after Letter. I feel that both Dad and I have been faithful to give you the full counsel of God, the truth according to His Word. Having done so, I am confident that you are in a position to make a personal decision in these matters, knowing full well what the Lord has said.
136. The decisions you make in regard to pregnancy are your personal decisions, no one else's. Married couples, and those who choose to engage in sexual intercourse, must decide together.
137. The decision on this matter is between the people involved and Jesus. Thus, whatever you decide regarding birth control is within the guidelines of the Charter. Married couples will need to decide together what they want to do. If two singles--people who are not married at all or not married to each other--are going to have sexual contact, they would need to discuss this issue, perhaps at length, and come to a decision together. If a married person is going to have sexual contact with someone other than his or her mate, then the mate of the person sharing would also need to be part of the discussion, or at least be in agreement with how far the sexual activity outside of the marriage would go.
138. When discussing these matters, you should not pressure anyone to think or act as you do, nor should you push your personal opinion on others or try to persuade others to act in a way that is not according to their personal faith.
139. If you need counsel or clarification, or you don't understand some point, or you need prayer, please feel free to talk to your shepherds. In fact, you should talk to your shepherds, and you shepherds should feel free to point people to the Word and explain what the Lord has said regarding birth control. You shepherds should explain what the options are and what is the Lord's highest according to the Word, but you are not to try to persuade someone to your particular point of view. Also, shepherds, please remember that after you have pointed people to the Word and answered their questions and prayed with them, the actual decision in the matter of sexual sharing and birth control should be left with the individuals involved, and there should be no pressure or negative repercussions from you (or others) no matter what decision is made.
140. I love you, my dear children, and you are very precious to me. I am praying for you as you face the decisions which are before you. Not just this particular one, but all of them, the daily choices of whether you will yield, whether you will obey, whether you will do the humble thing, the loving thing, the caring thing. Sometimes you will make the wrong choices, usually you'll make the right ones, but please rest assured that our precious Lover, our Savior, our King, our Husband, our Friend, Jesus, loves and cares for you, and always will.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS ON "GO FOR THE GOLD!"
141. (Introduction:) After reading this Letter, you may still have a few questions or there may be some parts that aren't real clear to you just yet. Following are brief answers to summarize and clarify some of the prophecies and counsel above, as well as some important new information! When finalizing this GN, some questions came up that had not yet been addressed, so they are covered below, along with the other questions and answers.
142. Question 1: If I decide to use some kind of birth control, am I jeopardizing my DO status in the Family?
143. Answer: No. The decision of whether or not to use birth control (condoms or other contraceptive methods) is between you and your mate or sharing partner(s) and Jesus. There should be no pressure or negative repercussions from your shepherds or others no matter what decision you make. But you should understand that the Lord has said that receiving His full blessings is directly related to the decisions you make in this matter.
144. Question 2: Is there any way that I can use condoms and still be "going for the gold"?
145. Answer: The use of condoms for the purpose of birth control is not "going for the gold." The Lord has made it clear that anyone who makes the decision to have sexual intercourse would need to trust the Lord regarding pregnancy and use no contraceptive measures if they wish to "go for the gold." Regardless of the marital status of those involved, if people choose to have sexual intercourse, then if they want to "go for the gold" the Lord asks them to trust Him. The key phrase here is "if people choose to have sexual intercourse." If and when you go all the way, the Lord prefers that you trust Him fully, which means not using condoms.
146. The exception to this would be if a couple were to use condoms for the sake of not passing on a sexually transmitted disease. A couple could still be "going for the gold" when using a condom during sexual intercourse if the purpose of the condom was for sanitary measures, rather than birth control.
147. Question 3: Two unmarried people are going to share. One wants to go all the way, the other doesn't. What should they do?
148. Answer: Two unmarried people should not go all the way unless both are in agreement. And if only one wants to go all the way, he or she should not pressure the other to do so, either before or during the date. To do so is unloving and contravenes the Love Charter. (See pg.138, Point 11.H.)
149. Question 4: When and how do you decide what you're going to do on a date?
150. Answer: You and your date partner should discuss it and come to an agreement beforehand. Don't just "let things happen" as your date is in progress, because you could easily get carried away and end up fucking when that's not really what you want to do or have the faith for. Honest communication and coming to an understanding before you start your lovemaking is advisable.
151. Question 5: A married couple has a difference of opinion concerning birth control. One wants to trust the Lord completely, the other wants to use some form of birth control. What should they do?
152. Answer: In the case of a married couple, they are not obligated to automatically go the way of the one who has less faith to trust the Lord. When husband and wife don't agree, when one wants to use birth control and the other doesn't, they need to pray desperately and get instructions from the Lord, seeking Him desperately and hearing from Him for their personal situation.
153. Question 6: Are people obligated to get married if a pregnancy results from their lovemaking?
154. Answer: No, it is not a hard and fast rule. But the Lord indicated that under most circumstances that is what He would want, for the sake of the child.
The decision is up to the man and woman involved. Of course, they can feel free to seek counsel from their shepherds, parents, etc., but the final decision is theirs. (See the Marriage Rules in the Charter, pages 154-158.)
155. Question 7: In cases where a couple does not feel it is the Lord's will for them to marry, after reading the counsel in this GN, wouldn't they be tempted to feel they are choosing God's second best by not marrying, and thus be tempted to fulfill the letter of the law by getting married anyway?
156. Answer: Each couple should seek the Lord and get something specific from Him to base their decision on concerning marriage. They should not marry just because they feel they have to. If the Lord shows two people that it is not His will that they marry, then they should not feel pressured to do so or condemned if they don't.
157. Question 8: What if a married woman is willing to share with someone in need, but she doesn't want to get pregnant with another man's baby and thus have children from different fathers, or someone other than her husband?
158. Answer: This is a matter of personal choice. She does not need to go all the way if she prefers not to. She can share love in other ways, through mutual masturbation.
159. (Note: By putting this question in here, I am not insinuating that there is anything wrong with having children by more than one father. We have many wonderful "colorful" families, where children have been fathered by different men. There's absolutely nothing wrong or shameful about that! After all, David and Techi were from different fathers, and it never bothered Dad or me at all!)
160. Question 9: According to this GN, each person has to make his or her own decision regarding trusting the Lord or using birth control. Different choices result in different blessings and rewards. If I choose to use some form of birth control, would I be contravening the Charter?
161. Answer: No, you would not be contravening the Charter if you were to choose some form of birth control. The Charter simply says, "Members must follow the rules on birth control as explained in ML #2961" (Sex and Affection Rules, point M). You are free to make your own choices, based on the principles described in this GN. But you must also bear the responsibility for your choices.
162. Question 10: If one person has had herpes and the person they're sharing with has not, should they use a condom? If so, how does this relate to the "go for the gold" message?
163. Answer: The Charter says, "If two people are sharing and one has had a herpes outbreak and the other hasn't, they may, if they choose, use a condom as a means of protection. If you have been completely healed of herpes--that is, you haven't had an outbreak of herpes in a number of years--it is still required that you inform your partner that you have previously had herpes, and it is still the prerogative of the other person to ask that you use a condom while sharing." (For more on this, see the Sex and Affection Rules, J.1-3.)
164. If you use a condom for disease control, that is different from birth control. Dad said, "I've never forbidden condoms for sanitary purposes!" (ML #1458:20).
165. Question 11: If a single mom, who already has kids, gets pregnant by someone, will it be suggested strongly that she get married to that person?
166. Answer: The decision whether to marry or not is up to the two people involved. However, they should take into account the fact that when they made the choice to have sexual intercourse, they did so knowing that if two people decide to fuck and a pregnancy results, the Lord usually prefers that the couple involved marry, for the sake of the child. The Lord indicated that He would use "the ease with which [the single mothers] can share love and have love shared with them" to bring men to them who will want to love them and be with them and father their children. But this does not mean that the men would be forced to marry the single mothers in the case of pregnancy. It is still a personal choice.
167. Question 12: If I have dates with a few different people, sometimes there are those that I feel closer to, but with others it's more of a sacrifice. Am I supposed to go all the way with all of my sharing partners?
168. Answer: You should pray about each date and each person you share with. You may feel led to have full intercourse with one person, but you may feel led to limit your lovemaking with another person to just kissing and cuddling or to mutual masturbation, which includes oral sex. Just because you go all the way with one person does not mean you are obligated to do so with anyone else. It's a personal choice, based on your feelings toward each person and how you feel led both personally and as partners.
(Note: The remaining questions and answers all contain new information not addressed before in this Letter!)
169. Question 13: What if a single woman gets pregnant and she's been having full sex with more than one man? How do they handle the question of marriage if they aren't sure who the father is?
170. Answer: Exactly how you handle the possibility of pregnancy if you choose to have more than one full-sex partner is a matter of personal choice. The Lord confirmed again, however, when we prayed about this question, that it is His will that each child has a mother and a father, and that whether a woman has one or several sex partners, someone should be willing to take responsibility should she become pregnant. According to the prophecies the Lord gave, if only one man is willing to take responsibility for the pregnancy, then that would be the man the woman would choose, providing she's willing to do so. If several men are willing to take responsibility for the baby, then the woman would have more choices.
171. If you choose to have full sex with more than one partner, the Lord indicates that communication is a key. You should count the cost before having sexual intercourse, and talk openly and honestly, and seek the Lord in prayer, as He promises to lead and guide you.
172. The Lord says He will lay the burden on the hearts of those who He wants to assume responsibility for the baby. But the man must choose to accept that responsibility. The Lord will not force him. He promises to make His will clear, and says that true maturity, manhood and adulthood in His Kingdom is to accept the responsibility He places upon you.
173. (Prophecy:) "As I have already stated, I wish for each child to have a father and a mother. In the case of the creation of a new soul for the Kingdom of God, I wish for the mother to have a husband to care for her, and for the child to have a father to cling to, and to find strength and guidance and support. Whether a woman becomes one with one man or with ten men, someone should be willing to take responsibility.
174. "If a woman has been with many men and only one man is willing to take responsibility in the end, then that is your man. If a woman has been with many men and they are all willing to take responsibility for the child, then you would take into consideration other factors, such as your personal love, your burdens, and other such factors which would weigh into the equation when choosing which one would be the husband and the father.
175. "But it is a case of communication. It is a case of counseling one with another and pre-planning and honest heart-sharing and counting the cost. If a woman plans to become one with more than one man, then she should make this known to her partners so that all can be well informed and all can operate according to their own faith. You should count the cost before entering into full union one with another, and you must share your hearts honestly and openly, and pray and seek My face, and I will lead and guide you.
176. "Whether there be one man or whether there be many, someone should be willing to take responsibility. Responsibility is the key to adulthood, and I will place the responsibility in the hearts of those that I want to assume the responsibility. I will make My will clear to a man. But as always, a man must choose to do My highest will and to take up his cross and follow Me wherever I may lead him, even without understanding or knowing the reasons why many times. They must simply follow because they love Me, and because the love of Christ constraineth them. This is true maturity in My Family and in My Kingdom. This is true manhood and adulthood, to accept the responsibility that I place on you, and I will make My will clear."
177. Question 14: Is the counsel in this GN retroactive concerning pregnancy and marriage? If a woman got pregnant before reading this GN, should she and the father of the baby now get married? How much responsibility is a man expected to take for a child that was conceived before this GN was published?
178. Answer: Again, each case must be decided on by the individuals involved. The Lord says that it is His will for some of the single men and women whose lovemaking resulted in a child before reading this GN to be together. He says they should seek each other out and build a life together, for the sake of the child. But He also makes it clear that this is not His will in all cases. He releases some single men and women from the responsibility of marriage, even though their lovemaking resulted in a child, because He has another plan for them and He will supply the needs of the child in another way. He says that those of you whose lovemaking resulted in a child before reading this GN must seek the Lord, and then act according to your own faith and conviction and how you feel Him leading you.
179. The Lord says that from now on you singles who choose to have full sex are more accountable than you were in the past. Now that you've read this GN, you no doubt understand His will and His mind on these issues more completely. Also, now that He has given you another clear alternative in your lovemaking--the choice of not going all the way without it being considered birth control--if you now choose to have sexual intercourse, the accountability and responsibility is greater.
180. The Lord will not force His will on anyone. He will not force a man to accept responsibility for a baby. But He reminds you that these are serious decisions that are not to be taken lightly. They require much love, understanding, counseling, and time. If some of you couples who have borne a child together don't feel that you're "meant for each other," He promises that in some cases, a loving relationship and bonds of affection, love and caring will develop with time, through seeing the need.
181. (Prophecy:) "Many are the Words of David which have spoken of the value of the child and the responsibility of the parents to the child. Many are the Words of David which have taught that every child needs a father and a mother. So even before this new counsel, My children have known of the responsibility, and they are accountable for that truth which they have known.
182. "For some who have borne a child, it is My will that they would be together, that they would search each other out and find one another and build a life together for the sake of that child. But for others, I have released them from the responsibility because I have another plan for them, and I will supply the need of that child in another way.
183. "But from this point on, those who choose to become one and bear a child for My glory are more accountable, because I have made My will clear, and My desire that those who bear a child also take responsibility to provide for that child the love and care and support of both a mother and a father.
184. "For I have put forth a clear standard, and I have put forth the means for these, My children, to act according to their own faith and according to their own desires, that they might share love without the weight and responsibility of bearing children. So now if they choose to become one, the responsibility and accountability is much greater.
185. "But I do not place the same standard or responsibility or accountability on the past because they had not the clear sound of the trumpet by which to make their decisions. So in those cases, they must be led according to the still, small voice that I speak in their hearts, and according to how much love they are willing to show and how they feel I am leading, each case judged on its own merits according to the faith and love of those involved."
186. Question 15: If a married man has sexual intercourse with an unmarried woman and she gets pregnant, is he responsible to take the woman on as a second wife?
187. Answer: In the prophecies the Lord gave on this question, He again confirmed that a married man is as a single when he is sharing love with a single woman. Therefore, they have the option to share love in many ways besides full intercourse and still be within God's highest will. The Lord wants you to share love, comfort, encouragement, warmth and affection with one another, and He reiterated that you don't have to have full sex to do this. As you can choose how you want to love, so you can also choose how much responsibility you want to bear. So if a married man chooses to have full sex with a single woman, he must also recognize the responsibility that goes along with that choice, should a pregnancy result.
188. The Lord said there is great variety of relationships in His Kingdom and that some relationships are more long-lasting, while others are short-term. In some cases, when a single woman becomes pregnant by a married man, that woman could become like a second wife, providing all three parties are in full agreement, of course. But in other cases, the woman could be a friend, helper, and lover. In the latter case, the relationship of the single woman and the married couple could be more like a parenting teamwork, rather than an actual threesome. Again, the Lord brings out that He will not legislate righteousness concerning these relationships, but that men and women of God must accept responsibility maturely and lovingly--and voluntarily.
189. If you as a married couple decide that one of you will share sexually with a single person, the Lord instructs you to pray, counsel and share your hearts each step of the way. You should counsel with each other and count the cost together before having full sex. The mate of the person sharing should be in agreement with that person having full intercourse or not. A married man should not have full sex with a single woman if his wife is not in agreement that their lovemaking go that far, and vice versa.
190. (Prophecy:) "As I have given you freedom of choice in your lovemaking, so have I given you freedom of choice in your responsibility. As I have said, when a married man shares love with a single woman he becomes as a single, and they together therefore have the option to love in many ways and to be blessed of Me and to be within My highest will and to be pleasing Me. For My greatest desire is that you share love and comfort and encouragement and warmth and affection, and to accomplish this you can share love in many ways.
191. "But if you choose to become one in full union of sex, you must do so knowing the responsibility. For as I have spoken to those who are unmarried, you may love in many ways, but if you choose to become one, My desire is that you trust Me. And if your lovemaking brings forth a child, My desire is that you marry. All My mothers need fathers for their children.
192. "You have freedom of choice to love as you will, and therefore you have freedom to choose how much responsibility you wish to bear. For there will be those instances where it is My will to bring three together as one family, that all involved may be happy and fulfilled in My service and have all of their needs met--the man, the wife, the second wife, and the children.
193. "There will also be instances where I bring three together in friendship so that all will have their needs met and be happy and fulfilled in their service for Me--the man, the wife, and the other woman who is as a friend and a helper and a lover. There is great variety of relationships in My Kingdom. There is great variation of bonds, some more permanent than others. Some are only for a time, some are for a lifetime. So this too is a situation where those involved must pray and seek Me desperately to find My will. They must pray and counsel and share their hearts openly each step of the way; and if they do so, and if they act in love, then I will be able to lead and guide them and bring them to fruitful unions."
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194. "My will is clear on this matter. I would that those that bring forth children assume the responsibility for their care, to meet their needs and to be what they need them to be. But I will not legislate righteousness. Men and women of God must accept responsibility maturely and lovingly. They must prefer the children above all else.
195. "This responsibility must be taken by strong spiritual men, and I will bless you for how you accept responsibility and do the right and righteous thing. If the right decisions are made and care is taken of My children, then there will be great happiness and peace and rest throughout My Kingdom, and all of My children will be cared for according to My plan and My purpose."
196. Question 16: If a married woman shares with a single man, and they fuck and she gets pregnant, what relationship does that single man have with the married couple and with the baby?
197. Answer: The single man is not obligated to the couple or to the baby, neither as a second husband nor as a permanent or semi-permanent co-worker, lover or father figure, because the baby already has a father. The married couple is not bound to establish a long-term relationship with the single man either, unless they personally choose to do so. In the prophecies about this question, the Lord said that even if the baby is from the seed of another man, he is still the child of the husband and wife, and part of their family, and he should be parented the same as their other children. The Lord said that if a married woman becomes pregnant when sharing with a single man, the baby is a gift from the Lord, a reward for the married couple, because they were willing to share their love with another.
198. Dad counsels you single men who want to be fathers and husbands to seek out the single mothers and their children who really need you! All the children in the Family are "our children," so he encourages you to love these "ready-made families" as a husband and a father, even if they are not your own flesh and blood.
199. (Prophecy:) "As I have said, every child needs a father and a mother, and when a married woman receives seed and conceives a child outside of the marriage union, this is a blessing that I have bestowed upon her and her husband. Even though the seed has come from another, this baby is still the child of the husband and wife.
200. "If there is great love and friendship between the husband and the wife and the other man, the one who fathered the child, then I will not close the door to their love and their friendship and their working one with another, if it is their choice and if it is their preference; but it is not necessary for the sake of the child, because the child's needs can be met through the wife and the husband.
201. "There is not a need for a second man to join this union, unless they [the married couple] feel such a need for his sake, to bring him in, to teach and train him in some way. But it is not necessary for the child, nor for the already-joined united couple. Each case can be judged on its own merit, its own situation."
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202. (Dad speaking to Mama in prophecy:) "Well, Honey, we have such a great need for husbands for all of our single mothers, that it seems kind of silly to me and unnecessary for someone to have two husbands when other women with children don't have any! Just because a man has fathered a child with his own seed, just because the child is his flesh and blood, doesn't mean that that father needs to be completely obligated, or that he needs to see that child as his own any more than he sees the rest of the children in his Home or in the Family as his own.
203. "So these single men, instead of trying to hitch up with an already-married woman, should seek out some of these single mothers and those who really need them, and seek out children who really need them--their care and their protection and their strong arms as a father--instead of getting hung up on which one is theirs in the flesh!
204. "What do you say, boys? You want to be a father? You want to be a husband? Well, look around, because there are a lot of ready-made families just waiting for you! There are a lot of children that need your love and need your care and need to call you daddy. So if you want to be a father that bad, find somebody who really needs you!"
205. Question 17: What about withdrawal--when two singles are making love and the man pulls out seconds before he climaxes? Is that birth control? Or is that part of the "other ways of sharing love" that singles can do and still be within God's highest will?
206. Answer: The Lord says that pulling out at the last second is birth control; it's not within His highest will. He says if you're enjoying having full sex and the man climaxes that way, then He wants you to trust Him and allow the seeds to be planted in the woman. You probably figured as much.
207. But He says that if you decide in advance that you don't want to have full sex, that you prefer to love each other through "other ways," mutual masturbation, etc., then the man can during the course of your lovemaking put his penis inside the woman, for the sake of pleasure, unity and the desire of the woman. As you know, sometimes a woman cannot reach an orgasm without the fucking movement and having the penis inside, and sometimes the man just can't resist putting it in, at least for a while. The Lord has made a way for you to be able to do this, as long as the man doesn't withdraw at the last second, but instead has his orgasm some other way (through masturbation or sucking). This is within the Lord's highest. He does not consider this birth control, but instead it falls under the category of "other ways of lovemaking."
208. These two ways of making love may seem the same to you, but in the Lord's eyes there is a difference, and He says a lot of it depends on your motive.
209. (Note: For your information, there is a good chance of pregnancy occurring if the penis is inside the vagina, even if the man does not climax inside, because during the act of lovemaking there is a constant slight discharge of semen containing sperm.)
210. (Prophecy:) "When a man and a woman are enjoying the pleasures of full intercourse and they are becoming one, but the man pulls out at the last moment and spills his seed on the ground, this is birth control. This is the prevention of the creation of new souls for the Kingdom of God. For if you would become one in full union, and if the man through fucking would come to orgasm, then it is My will that you trust Me and that you allow the seed to be planted in the soft warm flesh of the woman.
211. "But if two pray and discuss and decide ahead of time that they will not have full union, that they will not have full intercourse, but they will give and share love in other ways, and if in the course of their lovemaking he places his penis in her vagina for the pleasure, for the unity, for her desire, yet he comes to orgasm with her hands or with her mouth, this is within the alternative lovemaking which I have allowed. It depends on where your heart is. It depends on what your motive is. It depends on why you do what you do. It depends on what you decide ahead of time, and how you pray and counsel and what you hear from Me, and what you're willing to do and give and share, and what responsibility you're willing to take."
212. Question 18: We are living in the Last Days. The Bible says, "Woe unto them that are with child and to them that give suck in those days" (Mat.24:19). Why is the Lord saying to keep having babies when there is that verse right there in His Word? What does this verse mean?
213. Answer: The Lord used this example in the Bible to warn us about how difficult the days of Tribulation would be for all of us. He does not want you to fear or take matters into your own hands, but to trust Him. The Last Days will be difficult for all, whether you have children or not, but He promises to care for His Own.
214. (Prophecy:) "I warned My people about how difficult the days of Tribulation would be by stating unto them the difficulties that those with young children, babes in arms, will have. For those days shall be difficult days and dark days, but will I not care for My Own?
215. "You know that some day you will die, but that does not keep you from doing My will. I did not say this thing to cause you fear of the future, but just as a warning of how difficult those days would be. It does not mean that you should take matters into your own hands, interpreting with the mind of man and deciding that you know best. It simply means that those days will be difficult.
216. "But do you know exactly when those days will be? No, you don't. Do you know the day of your death? No, you don't. So what do you do? You trust Me. You have faith that I will care for you day by day. You have faith to seek Me and to do My will. And when the day of your death comes, you will have fulfilled My will.
217. "So in this matter do not take things into your own hands, but just trust Me, for those days will be difficult. But they will be difficult whether you have children or whether you don't have children. But in all ways trust Me and you shall have peace."
218. Question 19: The Lord is encouraging us to have children, but as a young couple, won't that limit our usefulness to the Lord? Won't having a bunch of kids mean that we will be less used of the Lord and less help to the Family, with less opportunities to be a blessing?
219. Answer: No! The truth is just the opposite! Dad recently said in prophecy, when talking about the qualities needed for young leadership couples, that they should have children! Being married and having children are important qualifications for bellwethers. Dad said:
220. "One of the most important things for young leadership couples is to be happy serving Jesus!--Being married, having children and serving Jesus. For the young people worldwide are in great need, in every country, in every continent. The young people need much help! Not just the teens, but all of them! Even the children need help. That's why the Lord is seeking out young married couples with children to be leadership samples."
221. He said that young couples with children understand what it's like to raise children! They know the needs of children. They know from firsthand experience all the difficulties involved with raising children. So this is an important prerequisite for leadership these days, that the couples have children. Dad said:
222. "It's so important that these young leaders have children so that their peers can see that life and usefulness and challenge does not end when you get married and have children. That is not the end of a career; that just enhances your career and makes you more valuable for the Kingdom!--More gifted and more understanding. It will truly be a testimony to the Family that you do believe that God's gift is God's work, that the fruit of the womb is His reward, and that it doesn't hinder you in your service, but it is a blessing!"
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family