WATCH YOUR WORDS!--By Maria      Comp.2/93
--Avoid Misunderstandings!       Maria #183 DO 2849
--Good Counsel for Witnessers, Songwriters and All!

         1. Today when I was listening to the Teen Inspiration Video songs and I thought about the title the Video Ministry had suggested, "New Worlds to Conquer," all of a sudden it occurred to me--and I never ever thought of this before--that the word "conquer" is almost as bad a word nowadays as "gypsies"!
         2. That's also why I had a real serious reservation about using the song "Mountain Children" on this tape, because of the very very bad reputation of gypsies, and why when they first suggested that song quite a while ago, I left it off the list. Some people had wanted to use it because it's such a good song for dancing and for portraying our free spirit--and that is certainly true, but I just had real serious reservations about it because of the world's negative perception of gypsies. Europeans and many people throughout the world have a very bad taste in their mouth when it comes to gypsies because so many of them are thieves, prostitutes and criminals. They've been forced into it, of course, but the fact remains that they don't have a good reputation.
         3. Now what does "conquer" mean to the world? That word definitely means a use of force, for one thing, often with weapons, and usually the big mighty power taking possession of the small, weak, helpless one. More and more today it has a very bad connotation. When the world uses the term "conquer," this is usually what they mean. So if they hear the term "New Worlds to Conquer," what they will picture will be the takeover of these new worlds by physical, carnal weapons, where there is shooting and wounding and killing and overpowering by physical force.
         4. When we say that we are going to have "New Worlds to Conquer," we, of course, mean something entirely different: Namely, that we are going to win these new worlds by the love of God, win their hearts and minds and spirits because they want to be won, because they see that love is the best way to do things and is the best thing for them and has their best interests at heart.--That love is the most powerful weapon in the universe; that unlike other weapons, it does not hurt, but heals and helps. However, there's not much use in our talking to someone about "conquering" new worlds and expecting them to know what we mean. All they are going to know is what they mean.
         5. This is an important lesson in communication! We can talk all we want to about a lot of wonderful things, but unless we help people to understand exactly what we mean, they may be getting everything all wrong, because they will be interpreting everything by their own meanings. To effectively communicate, both parties have to assign the same meanings to words; they have to define words and concepts the same way or they cannot effectively communicate. Instead, they will have serious misunderstandings, because one person defines a word one way and another person another way; so actually they're not talking about the same thing, but instead two different things.
         6. It's very important that we make ourselves clear as to exactly what we mean. If there is any chance that the person to whom we are speaking will not understand our terminology, we should either define it the way we are using it, or use another term that will better express what we mean and will be given the same definition by both us and the person we're talking to.
         7. No matter how much we may like our terminology and like to talk about "conquering" and fighting battles for the Lord, etc., it's not going to do us much good to use these terms with outsiders unless they understand exactly what we mean when we use them. In fact, it may just turn them off. However, if we define these terms or use terms that are understandable to them, we can present them with our alternative; that is, winning by love, and turn them on to something far better and greater than overpowering by hate and cruelty and force.
         8. The worldly concept of "conquering" is a hateful, angry, cruel one, where victory is won at the expense of people's lives. We "conquer" in a totally different way--by love. However, since this is such a strange new concept to people, it has to be thoroughly explained to them, and even then, because they are so used to their meaning of the word "conquer," it is a bit difficult for them to assign an entirely contradictory meaning to the word. It is more advantageous that we change our word "conquer" to conform to something that outsiders can more readily understand, or just not use that terminology at all! We can tell them what we are doing without using their worldly terms, which they define as terms of force and hate and cruelty.
         9. It's up to us; it's our responsibility to make clear what we mean. We can't expect people to read our minds, and unless we teach them our meanings of the System terms we use, all they are going to know is the worldly definition, and that term might be negative in their minds, like "gypsies" and "conquering" things. In this case, we have assigned a positive meaning to the term "conquer" as it applies to us and our life, whereas the worldly definition of the word has a completely different meaning.

"Love" Can Be Misunderstood

         10. The word "love" is also subject to various interpretations, and that's why unfortunately we have had to tone down our expressions of love to the general public and be much more cautious and wise in our usage of "I love you," and not have all our little teen girls looking adoringly into the eyes of every man they meet and telling them, "I love you!" While we know that we're talking about the Lord loving them through us, they have no idea that this love has anything to do with the Lord, and of course they define it as they always do, as a very fleshly, carnal, sexual thing.
         11. So in order to keep from being misunderstood, we need to use other words to describe how we feel, and we have to more clearly and specifically define the kind of love we're talking about. We should try to make it very clear from the beginning that it is God who loves them because He gave His Son for them and wants to save them, and pretty much leave references to us personally loving them out of our conversation.--Not because there's anything wrong with us loving them--we do love them--but because they cannot understand the way we define this love, and they take it differently than we mean it. We have to be more specific and use terms that will help them to understand more clearly what we're talking about.
         12. It's part of our job to learn to effectively communicate with people if we want to get our message of love across to them. We will have to learn to say it in words that will accurately convey to them what we mean. If the words we are using do not do that, we will have to find some other phraseology or some other terms. It's not their fault that they misunderstand. We have one idea and we know what we mean, but we can't expect them to read our minds.
         13. Sometimes we can't help offending people. If we've done all we can to explain ourselves and they know exactly what we mean and they are still offended by it, we have to go on preaching our message anyway, and not worry about what they think of us or if they like our message or not. But before we label them as "unreceptive" or "not sheepy" or "goats," we'd better be sure that they understand what we mean and that they're not just getting the wrong interpretation of what we're saying to them.
         14. If we're going to say something that they're going to be offended by just because we haven't explained ourselves, then we can't blame it on them. We can't just stubbornly insist, "We're going to use this term because we know what it means and we like it, and they should like it too!" Well, nobody's taught them to like it, and all they know is the worldly meaning and the meaning that is negative in their minds, like the words "gypsies" and "to conquer."

Finding System Substitutes for Family Terms

         15. In the making of our new interview videos, I agree with the point that some others have brought up, that we're going to have to change some of our teens' way of expressing themselves in Family "lingo" and substitute some more relatable terms in order for the System to understand.
         16. Some terms we'll need to be careful about are "chasten," "chastise," "discipline" and "correct." I'm not saying we shouldn't use any of these terms, but we need to really consider what they mean to the System and try to use terms that the System will understand. Most of our corrections of our teens are more like counseling sessions, and in some cases it might be better to use the word "counseling" than "correction." "Chasten and chastise" can be quite severe terms in the System's eyes, and even "discipline" sounds pretty bad to some nowadays.
         17. The term "forsaking all" is another one that might be wiser not to use with the System. I know we've been saying it for years and years, but now with our emphasis on presenting ourselves to the System in a more palatable and understandable way, we're seeing that we definitely need to change our presentation of some things. I think we need to find a better term for "forsake all" or "forsaken all." In the System, the word "forsake" has a rather negative connotation. If you forsake your son or your daughter you're abandoning them, deserting them, and it's looked upon as something very bad.
         18. I wonder if we should instead use the term "giving up everything." That connotes a sacrifice on the part of the person doing it instead of a wrong done to someone else. To most people, it seems much more commendable to give up everything than to forsake something, so you would say, "All of our members have given up everything to dedicate themselves to the Lord's work." Don't you like this better and don't you think there is a difference?
         19. I'm not saying that we cannot quote the beautiful scriptures on "forsaking all," neither am I saying that we should never use this term with the System. However, if we do use the term "forsaking all," then along with it I think we should explain in System terms what this means.--That it's not a lighthearted, merry, casual abandonment of everything valuable and of everyone who depends on us, but it's a very serious and well-considered decision which usually causes us much heartbreak and sacrifice in order to carry out Jesus' command to "go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature." And though the things we give up may be very important to us and dear to us, we feel that our obedience to God must supersede our own personal wishes and desires. We can explain that He has promised He will reward us for our sacrifices and more than repay us for what we have given up.
         20. So what I'm saying is that I'm not against using our Family or Scriptural terminology in our witnessing to give outsiders a little sample of our Family way of life and way of looking at things, and to be in keeping with the terminology that appears in many of the verses we use while witnessing. However, if we do this, we need to make sure we define our terms or that the people understand what we're talking about. So when you use a term that people may not understand, you need to say, "That's our term for so-and-so." For example, if you use the term "Romans" for the police, you would say, "Oh, that's our term for the police, because in the Bible...." which could lead into a very good Bible study!
         21. So just try to always think about the person to whom you are speaking or witnessing, and try to relate to them and put yourself in their place. Talk to them in a way they can understand and this will make it much easier for them to accept what you have to say. There will be some people, of course, who will never accept it no matter how well they understand, but at least then you've done everything you can to reach them. So use words they can understand, situations they can relate to, reasons they can comprehend.
         22. For example, if they ask you, "Why do you live communally?" don't just stop at explaining that the reason we live communally is because we believe in following the sample of the early believers in Acts 2:44 and 45. This might be a little difficult for people to understand. But you can explain it to them further and tell them that it makes our work more efficient when we can all live together and work together. Tell them it also helps us economically, and in these times of recession when several families band together, they can live much more economically than they could otherwise. We've been doing this for 20 years, but now many other people are doing the same thing, as they see that they can't make it any other way and they're being forced to do what we have done voluntarily. So again, the principle of "explain, explain" is wise to follow. God bless you with good communication and wise witnessing!


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