SEX PROBLEMS!             DO 332C                   3/75
        
         1. WHEN A CHILD RESULTS, GOD HAS CHOSEN A MOTHER & A FATHER, because it's GOD Who gives the children. "Children are an heritage of the LORD."--Psa.127:3. GOD is the One Who picks the mother & the father, & when a CHILD results they'd better BELIEVE it & they'd better STICK to it!
         2. GOD HAS ORDAINED IT & GOD HAS PICKED THEM to be the mother & the father & therefore GOD has JOINED THEM TOGETHER, not mere SEX! By the creation of a new immortal human soul GOD has permanently & forever made them ONE whether they like it or not!
         3. THESE COUPLES THAT GET TOGETHER FOR A LITTLE FLING THAT RESULTS IN A BABY & THEN DECIDE TO HEAD OFF IN two different directions have got to get back together somewhere for the BABY'S sake! She can say all she wants to about, "Oh well, it was nice while it lasted. It was romantic, it was wonderful, & I'm just glad to have the baby to remember him by!"
         4. BUT WE WHO HAVE HAD CHILDREN KNOW THE PROBLEMS & COMPLICATIONS OF HAVING CHILDREN & know that when the baby ARRIVES you might not feel quite so romantic about it. She may say, "It was nice knowing you & it's nice to have a little souvenir left behind," but it might NOT be so nice, especially when that souvenir needs a FATHER & she needs some HELP! She may not be so happy with that souvenir all ALONE!
         5. SO I'M AGAINST THIS BUSINESS OF "LOVE'M & LEAVE'M", especially when it results in children. That CHILD needs a FATHER & he's responsible for it whether he wants to be or not!
         6. THERE MIGHT BE RARE EXCEPTIONS where the mother just hates the guy's guts & doesn't WANT to live with him & would PREFER to live alone with the baby & does well as both a mother & a father to it. o
         7. YOU'VE GOT TO JUDGE EVERY CASE ON ITS OWN MERITS. Where you're mighty sure that the father's actually WORSE for the child than just having the MOTHER there & if he's some kind of a rotter that just would make one helluva father & is worse for the baby than just the mother, then that's another story. But you'll have to PROVE that first. Most kids I've seen need a mother & a father, & THAT as far as I'm concerned needs to be a RULE!
         8. THESE GUYS CAN'T THINK THEY CAN JUST PLAY AROUND & THEN NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONSEQUENCES. It's there in the "LAW OF LOVE", believe it or not. (See No.302C) But some of these guys see what they WANT to see & are blind to what they don't want to see. So this Letter should make it VERY clear!
         9. SO ANY GUY WHO IS ACCUMULATING WOMEN IS GOING TO HAVE PROBLEMS & SO ARE THEY, 'cause it takes a Heaven-of-a-lot of grace to LIVE TOGETHER & SHARE the same man! Each might be willing to be a part-time LOVER, but GOD may not be willing for HIM to be a part-time FATHER, & a CHILD needs to be around where his FATHER is MOST of the time.
         10. BECAUSE MOST OF THE KIDS I EVER SAW REARED BY WOMEN ALONE WERE PRETTY SPOILED, because woman are inclined to pour out all their love & affection on that child & spoil it in the absence of a man & father & other children. So they haven't got just THEMSELVES to think about.
         11. I'VE NEVER SEEN A CHILD YET THAT DIDN'T NEED A FATHER or a father image, somebody to play the part of a father. But I'll tell you, I've sure seen some kids WITHOUT fathers who sure NEEDED them! They needed a father's heavy hand to straighten them out when the mother didn't have what it took.
         12. THERE AREN'T TOO MANY WOMEN CAPABLE OF BEING BOTH A MOTHER & FATHER TO A CHILD. They don't have the guts, firmness & hardness that it takes to lay down the law. Fathers are usually the disciplinarians of the family who won't let the kids get away with it & who really sock it to them.
         13. EVERY CHILD NEEDS A FATHER.--ESPECIALLY AS HE GROWS OLDER he needs a FATHER more than a MOTHER! A father comes into the picture loud & strong in the later years when the child really needs discipline & strength.
         14. IT'S A LOT LIKE THE RELATIONSHIP OF GOD TO US: In some ways the Holy Spirit is like a mother, sweet, loving, gentle, the Spirit that conceives a spiritual babe, brings it to the birth & bears it & gives birth to a newborn babe in the Kingdom of God, a Child of God. But as we grow older & become aware of what's going on we're more apt to need a father image of GOD HIMSELF & be more afraid of HIM than we are of the Holy Spirit, a gentle wooing dove--afraid of His rod of correction & His judgements & His very heavy hand that enforces His strict rules. So that's the way I see it.
         15. I JUST BELIEVE IN HUSBANDS & WIVES UNLESS THERE'S SOME TERRIBLE REASON WHY THEY CANNOT POSSIBLY STAY TOGETHER & it becomes a HINDRANCE to God's WORK. I believe in TEAMS. I think most of these husbands & wives ought to be good teams for the Lord, & that good teams for the Lord ought to be good husbands & wives.
         16. ANY OF THESE GUYS & GALS WHO BREAK UP TEAMS JUST BECAUSE THEY DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER'S PERSONALITIES or living together or don't want to be supplementing each other or something have got to learn something about making SACRIFICES for the LORD!
         17. IT'S A DIFFERENT THING TO BE ABSENT FROM THEM FOR AWHILE FOR THE SAKE OF THE WORK & the service of the Lord, but you've got to get back together as soon as you can. I do think that husbands & wives belong TOGETHER.
         18. WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT IN "ONE WIFE" & "LAW OF LOVE" IS BREAKING UP MARRIAGES FOR THE GLORY OF GOD, for GOD'S sake. (See No.302C, 249) It had better be for GOD'S glory & you'd better be able to PROVE it & that nothing ELSE is going to work, or it's anything BUT God's glory, it does NOT glorify God! It becomes a REFLECTION on the cause of Christ & a BAD EXAMPLE!
         19. I THINK WHEN YOU'VE GOT CHILDREN TO CONSIDER, YOU CAN NO LONGER SELFISHLY CONSIDER YOURSELF! You've got a FAMILY & you need to consider the CHILDREN who need a mother & a FATHER, unless they're grown & married & gone! So if you have got to stick it out for no other reason, stick it out for the KIDS' sake & keep it going!
         20. WHEN A SEXUAL UNION RESULTS IN A CHILD THEN THE PARENTS DON'T HAVE MUCH CHOICE: GOD HAS MADE THE CHOICE & this should draw them together. Because GOD has joined them together whether they like it or not. They have no longer just THEMSELVES to consider, they have that CHILD to consider & its CARE & its TRAINING & its PREPARATION to take its place in God's Kingdom is THEIR responsibility TOGETHER, just as it was partly their responsibility for bringing it into the World.
         21. AND IF THERE'S ALREADY A WIFE involved who is NOT the mother of that child & the guy already HAS somebody & OTHER children, well, that's just tough!
         22. HE'S GOT TO TAKE ON THE RESPONSIBILITY OF BOTH WOMEN & ALL THE CHILDREN, & the women will have to try to live together whether they like it or not, because they both lay with the same man & they're both bound to him by not only SEXUAL union but the RESULTS--CHILDREN--& they're STUCK with him!
         23. BECAUSE MARRIAGE IS A TYPE OF THE SPIRITUAL UNION OF THE BELIEVING BRIDE WITH CHRIST, & it is none of her business to try to break it up, especially when CHILDREN have resulted, no matter how many OTHER brides he may have! She's just going to have to TAKE it & make the BEST of it.
         24. THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LIVE TOGETHER AS SISTERS in the same house joined to the same man, sharing him & his love & his children, which are their obligation to God, & they can't just say, "Well, what have we to do with thee?"--Neither one of them! If they now each have a CHILD by him, it's pretty darn good proof they've had a lot to do with him!
         25. BUT SOME SUCH UNIONS HAVE GOTTEN ALONG REASONABLY WELL & MANAGED TO SURVIVE with everybody being fairly happy, children well cared for & with the HUSBAND certainly being MORE than well cared for, if he can take it, & with his WOMEN being slightly LESS well cared for perhaps than otherwise.
         26. THE FIRST WIFE HAD BETTER BE THANKFUL SHE DOESN'T LOSE HIM ALTOGETHER & doesn't lose the father of her CHILDREN.
         27. THE SECOND WOMAN HAD BETTER BE THANKFUL SHE GETS ANY OF HIS ATTENTION AT ALL because she should have known she was going to have to share him in the first place! Because she knew good & well all the time she was already using somebody else's husband, & that she certainly couldn't expect to STEAL him from his FIRST wife & her CHILDREN because God certainly wouldn't bless THAT! That would be extremely selfish!
         28. I DON'T BELIEVE GOD APPROVES OF HUSBAND-STEALING--stealing another woman's husband, & worse than that, stealing the FATHER of some CHILDREN! So the SECOND woman can't expect to have him all to HERSELF. She NEVER had him all to herself to BEGIN with & she never WILL! It wouldn't be fair if she did.
         29. IF MORE OF THESE HUSBAND-STEALERS WOULD GO INTO THE THING WITH THEIR EYES OPEN & realise they were going to have to live with the wife, I doubt if there would be so much husband stealing!
         30. SO FRANKLY MY OPINION IS PRETTY MUCH IN AGREEMENT WITH THE OLD MOSAIC LAW, which is God's stiff standard, & that is that once these sexual unions have resulted in CHILDREN, then the MAN is under obligation to take CARE of that woman & her children, even if he's already got ANOTHER woman & some OTHER children.--He should have thought of that before he got involved.
         31. AND I WOULD SAY THAT IF HE'S NOT WILLING TO UNDERTAKE THESE GOD-GIVEN OBLIGATIONS ACCORDING TO SCRIPTURAL LAW, THEN HE'S NOT FIT TO BE A MEMBER OF OUR ORGANISATION, & he's certainly not fit to be any OFFICER in it! If he doesn't know how to take care of his OWN family, he's certainly not fit to take care of the Family of GOD! If he doesn't know how to take care of his OWN children, he's certainly no fit father for the Children of God!
         32. IF SOME OF THESE LOOSE-LIVING GUYS WHO GO RUNNING AROUND WITH ALL THE WOMEN they can get their hands on realise that if these escapades result in CHILDREN, they're going to have to take CARE of them & the women, they might have another think coming before they become so easily involved without a thought for the consequences!
         33. MARRIAGE WAS ORIGINALLY INTENDED TO BE A UNION OF TWO PEOPLE, with the resultant children. But if you insist on adding an EXTRA one & HER children, then that's YOUR problem, brother!--AND hers!--And you'd better get with it & take CARE of them BOTH, because it's now your OBLIGATION not only to HER & the CHILDREN but also to GOD as well as God's larger FAMILY!
         34. ABOUT THE ONLY WAY OUT I CAN SEE FOR YOU IS THAT IF THE NEW WOMAN DOESN'T WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU & YOUR WIFE, you'd better help her find a nice new husband that she WOULD like to live with & who is willing to be the father of your child! And if your FIRST wife doesn't like the NEW woman in the house she may decide she wants to take off & leave BOTH of you with it & maybe the KIDS too!
         35. THE NEW LITTLE WOMAN MAY FIND SHE'S GOT QUITE A BIG FAMILY TO TAKE CARE OF, & so she may not be any better wife to you than the old one with that much responsibility! So you'll go ON being "misunderstood" & "underloved" & try to hand the same kind of sad pitiful line you gave HER to somebody ELSE!
         36. SHE IN TURN MIGHT NOT APPRECIATE THAT, & you'll get caught in sort of a vicious cycle that you've created for yourself by your own over-sexed desire for additional love & affection! So if either woman decides she'd prefer to dump YOU & the OTHER woman & the CHILDREN too, I wouldn't blame her too much!
         37. SO BOYS, WHEN YOU CONSIDER ALL THESE DANGEROUS ALTERNATIVES, maybe you'll wind up deciding that the little old woman is not so bad after all & a lot less trouble to take care of & easier to make happy than TWO or more!
         38. IF YOU THINK YOUR WIFE IS A PROBLEM, YOU'RE GOING TO FIND TWO OR MORE WOMEN ARE A LOT MORE PROBLEMS! But if you've gotten yourself so involved with both of them that you have CHILDREN by both of them, I'm sorry, pal, you're stuck with a LOT of problems, & you're going to have to see it through whether YOU or THEY like it or not!--UNLESS either one of them prefers to dump YOU & trade YOU for ANOTHER man & a NEW father for her children, providing she can FIND one, which is ANOTHER problem!
         39. SO I THINK THAT MOST OF YOU WILL FIND IN MOST CASES THAT THE NICE LITTLE TWOSOME ARRANGEMENT WILL BE A LOT SIMPLER & less complicated & with fewer problems & probably even a lot more fun & satisfying in the long run, even if sometimes you feel a little MISunderstood & UNDERloved.--It may turn out to be not nearly as big a problem as being TOO WELL understood & OVERloved!
         40. AND YOU GIRLS WHO CAN'T KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OTHER PEOPLE'S HUSBANDS may soon find yourself stuck with the rascal & his child while he's off giving the biz to somebody NEW & treating you like he did his WIFE in the FIRST place!
         41. AND ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU WIVES MIGHT FIND IT A WHOLE LOT EASIER TO BE A LITTLE MORE UNDERSTANDING, sympathetic, loving & kind to your husbands than to have to SHARE his love & sympathy with somebody ELSE! But then on the other hand, you might find it very interesting to take her in so you can have somebody on YOUR side for a change--TWO against ONE!--Then you've got him out-voted!
         42. IF YOU HUSBANDS DON'T LOVE BOTH & YOUR CHILDREN ENOUGH TO STICK BY THEM BOTH, then you don't belong in this outfit anyhow, & your two gals had better find themselves a NEW husband & a BETTER father to their children, or maybe a COUPLE of new husbands & fathers, just ONE EACH! This would well save EVERYBODY a lot of problems, including US!
         43. SO I SUGGEST SOME OF YOU PHILANDERERS BETTER SIT DOWN & COUNT THE COST before you lie down & all is lost!--And some of you BABY DOLLS who like to LIE AROUND with OTHER women's husbands had better sit down & count the cost before YOUR all is lost & nobody else WANTS you!
         44. YOU MAY FIND IT'S A LOT EASIER TO GET ALONG WITH EACH OTHER than for both of you to have to get along with somebody new!
         45. SO I SUGGEST, BELOVED, THAT WE MAKE THESE HUSBANDS & WIVES REALISE THEIR RESPONSIBILITIES TO EACH OTHER & THEIR CHILDREN & let them know here & now that if they have any CHILDREN we expect them to take CARE of them as well as their MOTHERS, & that's going to be THEIR responsibility from now on & THEY'RE going to have to take care of them ALL no matter HOW many there are! Maybe that'll discourage some of them from trying to add too many members to their already increasing families!
         46. MAY GOD HELP YOU TO HAVE A LITTLE COMMON SENSE along with all your romantic antics! Think of the CONSEQUENCES!--And REMEMBER: We're going to insist you take CARE of them whether you like it or not!--Or you'll have no part nor place in US! Think THAT over! If you MUST get it together, then DON'T blow it APART!--For GOD'S sake & the CHILD'S sake!--Amen?--Amen! God bless & keep you in His Will!

Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family