FJWL_01:271
         (The Apostle Thomas:) You heard my story, how I would not believe unless I put my fingers in the holes and in the gaping wound in His side. I wouldn't believe it because I couldn't see it, and I didn't understand it. It was beyond my comprehension. It was beyond what I thought could be real. Others said it was so. Others said they saw Him, they felt Him, they touched Him. Others, my brethren, those that I loved, said that they saw Him. But I wouldn't believe. Why wouldn't I believe? Because I lacked faith--faith to trust, faith to look beyond my carnal mind.
         What saved me was that I wanted to believe, and because of that desire, He showed me. Though my mind raged against my spirit, though my mind could not grasp it, could not understand it, could not see it, yet in my spirit I wanted to believe. My prayer through my doubts was, "Help me to believe! Help me to see! Help me to understand!" Though I said with my mouth, "I will not believe until I touch the wounds with my own hands," in my heart I said, "I want to believe, I just don't understand! I just don't see it!" Because this was the cry of my heart, so did the Lord show me, and so was I able to touch the wounds and fully believe.
         This is the key to faith.--Even though you do not see, and even though you do not understand, and even though you doubt, if in your heart you want to know and want to believe--but you do not have the means to believe because of your battles or because of your doubts or because of the limits of your mind--if you will but call out in faith, saying, "I want to believe! Lord, help my unbelief," if you leave the door open, His light can shine through. It can get into you and give you the truth and help you to see and illumine your heart (ML #3041).



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