LC: 53. SEX AND AFFECTION RULES
A. See Offenses Warranting Excommunication for excommunicable sexual offenses.
B. The "Law of Love" must govern all sexual activity. The basic tenet of the Law of Love is that what is done is agreed upon by all the parties involved, and precautions are taken so others are not hurt by their activities.
One of the main things that sets us apart from other churches is the Biblical freedom that we have the faith to practice under the Law of Love, especially our sexual freedom. The sexual freedoms the Lord has allowed us are a beautiful and fruitful part of our faith. Having the opportunity to share sexually within our Homes brings about a unity and love that is not present in other churches. It is especially helpful in our communal lifestyle as it draws us closer to each other and to the Lord.
Sharing sexually is a delicate matter since it deals with our emotions and the emotions of others. Because of this the Law of Love must govern our sexual freedoms to ensure that others will not be hurt, and we will not be guilty of purposely or unwittingly hurting others. These Sex and Affection Rules are designed to help us live within the boundaries of the Law of Love.
The above clause stipulates that the parties involved must be in agreement with engaging in sexual activity. As to who is an "involved party": In the case of a married person who is planning to share with someone else, that person's mate is one of the parties involved. If a wife feels that a single brother in the Home needs sexual fellowship, or if she has been asked by him to share sexually, then her mate must agree to it, as he is an involved party; if he doesn't agree, then she should not do it.
Of course, according to the Law of Love the husband should be loving enough to share his wife with a brother in need. Likewise, the wife and the single brother should be loving enough to understand if the husband has difficulty with it.
For a different scenario, let's take a case of a single woman and two single men in the Home: The single sister decides she would like to share with one of the single brothers, but the other single brother happens to have intimate feelings for her, and might feel somewhat jealous about this date taking place. In this case, the single woman does not need to get his consent or agreement because he is not an involved party. He has no say over what she does because she's not his mate and therefore does not need to be consulted.
However, you'll notice that the second part of this clause states that precautions must be taken so that others are not hurt by the activity. In this scenario, if the single woman and the single man are planning to have a date, they should be considerate of the single brother who has feelings for the girl, and take precautions, at least as much as is possible, so as not to hurt him. For example, the date could happen when this single brother is out witnessing or is watching a movie or is doing something else. Or at the very least, when these two share they should try to do so in a place where this fellow will not overhear them.
We need to do all we can to avoid hurting others. Of course, sometimes people are hurt regardless of the precautions we attempt to take. Let's go back to the married couple spoken of before: The wife is planning to share with the single brother, and though the husband gave his agreement, it is still possible that the husband might be hurt.--He might experience some jealousy, or generally find it difficult to share his wife with someone else. However if, because he believes in the Law of Love, he consents to be hurt, in a sense, by agreeing that his wife should share with a brother in need, then this is acceptable; in fact, commendable. That's the sacrificial side of the Law of Love and of sharing.
Of course, there may be times when the wife and the single brother might need to refrain in deference to the husband; this also is the sacrificial side of the Law of Love and might be the loving thing to do in a given situation.
Should the teamwork feel that a particular sexual relationship between Home members is hurting others in the Home, or causing problems, they are free to shepherd and offer counsel in order to help solve the problem or help things to improve.
If you are going to be away on a trip or visiting another Home for an extended period of time and you foresee situations coming up where you might share with others, couples should pray about it together beforehand and come to an agreement.
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The application of the sexual aspect of the Law of Love is a multi-faceted and sometimes complicated subject. It is therefore important that all voting members thoroughly study the counsel given in the "Living the Lord's Law of Love" series (starting with ML #3201, GN 804, Lifelines 25.). While we've included in this section those aspects of the Law of Love that are actual Charter rules which should be kept at all times, there is an abundance of important counsel in that GN series which members should read, study and apply according to their situation.
As in marriage and all other social relationships with each other, God's laws of love are still the same: 1. Is it good for God's work? 2. Is it good for His Body? 3. Is it good for you? Does it glorify God, His Body and edify your own soul? Does it help someone else to do a better job for the Lord? Do you even need it for your own good? These are questions you will have to answer yourself and before God and others, and you may need counsel in answering them. Any variation from the norm of personal relationships, any substantial change in marital relationships, any projected sexual associations should have the willing consent of all parties concerned or affected. ... If this is lacking in any quarter and anyone is going to be harmed or unduly offended, then your action is not in love or according to God's law of love! "Love doeth thy neighbor no harm," for "thou shall love thy neighbor as thyself": this is God's law of love! "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." ... These are God's conditions. "Greater love hath no man than this: that a man lay down his life for his friends." "Therefore we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren." Are you willing to lay down your life--or even your wife--for a starving brother or a sister? (ML #302C:13,14,15,18.)
C. No sexual activity or open demonstration of sexual affection should take place in public areas of the Home.
In accordance with the Law of Love, we should avoid doing anything that would hurt others. As sexual affection or activities in front of others could cause hurt, it should be avoided in public areas of the Home. You'll find more specifics on the subject in FSM 241, "The Affection Revolution," and ML #2857 in Lifelines 22. Such activities should be carried out in private.
You have one kind of affection openly amongst all your members--anytime, anywhere--and another kind you reserve for lovemaking with your partner behind closed doors. Your everyday standard of natural, loving affection amongst your Home members during your normal daily interaction with each other is not supposed to signal or lead to sex, which is what you have in your bedroom on your dates behind closed doors (ML #2857:44).
D. For those 18 years of age and over, sex may only occur between consenting partners in accordance with point D of the Offenses Warranting Excommunication.
If a sister or brother does not want to share sexually with someone, they should not be coerced into doing so. If you wish to have a date with someone, and they do not wish to have a date with you, then you should not try to make them feel that they are not being "sacrificial." Perhaps you need to be more sacrificial by forgoing the date with them. Maybe if you pray and ask the Lord to supply someone to fill your needs rather than trying so hard in the arm of the flesh, you might get better results.
Husbands and wives should, as much as possible, consent to having sex when their partner requests it. The Bible says, "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency." (1 Corinthians 7:3-5).
You don't have to get anybody's permission as long as it's with mutual consent of the parties involved.--That means with all the parties involved and all of those affected, which could be the whole Home! As long as it's with consent and as long as it's legal! (ML #1829:80.)
E. For teens (16 and 17), sexual activity is permitted only with consenting partners ages 16 through 20.
It is our belief that our senior teens will have the maturity to lovingly engage in sexual activity with other consenting senior teens and YAs and that in doing so they will operate in accordance with the Law of Love.
By permitting you 16- and 17-year-olds to participate in the sexual freedoms granted by the Law of Love, we are opening the door for you to step into a new realm of maturity and adulthood. You will be faced with fully living the Law of Love, with the responsibility of making sure your actions with one another are guided by love and not by lust, that you hurt no one.
Permitting you to choose whether or not to become involved sexually with your peers is a sobering step for everyone involved, both for you as well as for the adults. As adults, we better understand the potential emotional pitfalls of sharing sexually with one another and the difficulties which can arise, the battles of jealousy, of feeling left out, of unloving actions, etc. We realize that we will need to help you overcome these battles, that you will need shepherding, understanding and a listening ear. But because we believe that the Lord wants you to grow into spiritually mature Christian adults, we are willing to take on the extra burden of helping you through these lessons. We are permitting you to partake of sexual sharing within the 16-20 year age range with the understanding that you will agree to be shepherded by your parents and other adults, and that you will be open and honest about your questions, tests and trials.
These freedoms are sobering for you because you will now be faced with decisions which could have life-changing consequences. Lovemaking can result in newborn children, and resultant children will need to be cared for by mommies and daddies, and these mommies and daddies will be you. So you will need to realize that although you have the freedom and right to engage in sexual activity, you also have to take the responsibility for your actions.
Another thing to keep in mind: You will notice that in the root clause it says "sexual activity is permitted only with consenting partners ages 16 through 20." It is very important to realize that not everyone in your age group is going to want to engage in sexual activity, that some will want to wait until they are older or until they feel more prepared for it. Others will only want to dabble in it, while yet others will want to partake fully. The choice whether to take this step is a very personal and individual choice based on each person's faith. No one should feel pressured one way or the other by anyone. If you are trying to convince someone to have sex with you or to go farther than they want to go, or if you are applying peer pressure in any way, then your actions are unloving and are contrary to the Law of Love.
There is a great deal of Word on this subject which you are expected to read in order to help you fully grasp the depth of God's Law of Love and how to live in accordance with it.
We are expecting that you will face this new challenge as loving, mature Family members who will use these freedoms in love, the way the Lord and Dad and Mama have always intended them to be practiced.
See also Word Rules, C. and D. for other requirements that you must fulfill during your 15th year before engaging in sexual activity at age 16.
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1. 16- and 17-year-olds may not engage in sexual intercourse unless they have first counseled with and received permission from their resident parent(s) to do so. This permission is required regardless of whether the young people involved choose to use some form of birth control such as condoms.
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2. Even if permission to have sexual intercourse has been granted by the parent(s) of a 16- or 17-year-old, the teens having sex must still agree together before beginning any sexual activity as to whether they will have sexual intercourse or not. If the teens haven't talked about it ahead of time, then it should be clearly understood by both partners that they will not have sexual intercourse or any sexual activity that could result in pregnancy.
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Let's explore the following hypothetical situations:
There is a 16-year-old girl in a Home who has been getting to know several teen boys in her Home. She has even begun having dates with one of them from time to time.
On the other hand the mother and father of this young woman have serious reservations as to whether or not their daughter is ready to take on the serious responsibility which can result should she engage in sexual intercourse with the young man in question. Their daughter has not given much thought to the subject of marriage, nor has the young man who she has grown close to. They simply feel attracted to each other, and like spending time together. Neither the young woman nor the young man in this picture are necessarily prepared and/or prayed up on the subject of having a baby together should they have intercourse.
Due to the Lord, Dad and Mama's counsel to the Family that pregnancy should in most cases result in marriage, the parents of this 16 year old girl have a say in who their daughter's mate might be, especially since this is only the first year since she has begun having more serious contact with those of the opposite sex.
Then there is also the factor that should an unexpected pregnancy occur, a great part of the soon-to-be-mother's care will fall on the parents' shoulders. Therefore their daughter having intercourse is essentially a family matter affecting more than just their daughter and the young man whom she is close to. The parents understandably want to have a say in what may be a long term, serious decision affecting all of their lives.
This policy does not hinder young people from spending time together and even having dates without parental permission, although they should counsel about their relationships with their parents or shepherds as well, as already stated in the Charter. It is simply letting them know that they need to ask their resident parent(s) before engaging in full intercourse. This will also cause young people to realize that going beyond this point is potentially taking their relationship into the realm of parenthood.
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F. For junior teens (14 and 15), dating with other teens ages 14 through 17 will be governed by the junior teens' parent(s) or legal guardian(s). However, sexual intercourse or skin to skin touching of genitals is not permitted either by or with those under the age of 16. Teens 14 and 15 are not permitted to date or have any sexual activity with anyone over the age of 17
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Dating by teens, ages 14 and 15, with other teens, ages 14 through 17, will be under the authority and responsibility of the 14- or 15-year-olds' parents or legal guardians.
Those 14 through 17 may date if they wish, providing they have received permission to do so from the junior teens' parent(s) or legal guardian(s). Parents or legal guardians may allow their junior teens to date and have emotional and physical contact with other teens that the parents deem appropriate, but may not permit their junior teens to engage in sexual intercourse or skin to skin touching of genitals by the dating teens. While those 16 and 17 are permitted to have full sex with those ages 16 through 20, 16- and 17 -year -olds are not permitted to do so with junior teens that they may be dating.
Those 14 and 15 who break these rules will be subject to disciplinary action, and in jeopardy of being put on Probationary Status or other disciplinary action decided upon by their parents or legal guardians.
I know that in an earlier talk ... I suggested that 15 years old was the age our teens could start their serious dating. But in light of World conditions, we might be wise to up this requirement--until our teens are each at least 16 years of age (ML #2589:10.)
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G. For those under the age of 14, dating is at the parents' discretion, but only non-sexual affection is allowed.
H. If two members were within the proper age range and regularly sharing together sexually and one moves out of the age range of the other, they may request permission from the continental office to continue sharing together. The continental office may grant permission if they feel it is warranted. (See also Offenses Warranting Excommunication, D. 6.)
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This only applies to two members who were in the same age group and sharing together, but then one has a birthday that takes them out of the age range of their partner. For example, if a 17-year-old and a 20-year-old have been having dates, and then the 20-year-old turns 21 but the 17-year-old has not yet turned 18. They could request permission from their CROs to continue sharing together until the younger partner turns 18. The CROs have the authority to grant or deny such permission.
I. Members in the Charter Family less than six months must refrain from all sexual activities, in accordance with the Procedures for Accepting New Disciples, E.
1. If the new or rejoining member is married, and their spouse joins with them, they may have sex with their spouse.
New members, and members rejoining the Charter Family, must refrain from sex for the first six months they are in the Family.
We're an army, and when babes join they need to go through their initial training and boot camp without the complications of personal relationships. They need time to fall in love with Jesus and the Word first, then later when they are stronger they can be trusted with the added blessing of sexual fellowship. If a married couple joins the Family together, then that is not quite so much a distraction; they're already used to each other, they know each other and they're not going to be so distracted (ML #1909:20,18).
J. Members may only engage in sexual activities that are mutually agreed upon by both partners and permitted for their age group. No one should force or in any way coerce a sexual partner to participate in any sexual activity that they do not desire to engage in.
As explained earlier, sexual activities are to occur only if both parties are consenting. This clause covers any specific sexual activities which one partner may not feel comfortable engaging in. For example, if a man particularly likes having a woman perform oral sex on him, but she doesn't like it, the man should not try to badger or in any way try to coerce her to do so.
Simply stated, people should not force or try to coerce their sexual partners to do things that they don't want to do. To do so is unloving and unkind.
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1. Sexual intercourse or any sexual activity that could result in pregnancy, except for mated couples with each other, may not occur unless both parties have discussed and agreed to doing so before beginning any sexual activity, as outlined in "Living the Lord's Law of Love, part 4", (ML #3204, GN 807).
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K. Members should apply the counsel on birth control as explained in "Go for the Gold," ML #2961, Lifelines 22. (See also, Mama's Memos!--No. 4. A How-to of the Practical Application of "Going for the Gold"! ML #3138. Also see paragraphs 54--114 of "Living the Lord's Law of Love, Part 4," ML #3204, GN 807, Lifelines #25.)
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L. A Charter single man has a minimum responsibility towards any single woman he impregnates, regardless of the circumstances that brought about the pregnancy.
1. The father of the child must form a parenting teamwork and live in the same Home with the mother to help care for her and the baby throughout the pregnancy and for the first year of the child's life, unless the mother releases the father of this responsibility earlier.
a) When a man forms a parenting teamwork with a single woman who has other children, the man is to be a father figure to all the children, not just to his one flesh child.
b) When a single woman forms a parenting teamwork with a single man who has other children, she also is responsible to help with the care of his children.
c) This 20-month minimum responsibility applies to all pregnancies that occur after November 1, 1998, even if unexpected.
The Lord says in "Living the Lord's Law of Love--part 6," ML #3206, GN 809, that when a child results from the lovemaking of two single people, in most cases it is His will that the mother and father marry. However, after having sought and heard from the Lord in prophecy and having received confirming prophecies from others, they are not sure that they should marry, or feel that it is not the Lord's will to marry, the man will be responsible to fulfill a minimum 20-month responsibility to the mother and child. The man will be responsible to help care for the mother physically, emotionally and spiritually throughout her entire pregnancy, and then help to care for her and the baby until it is one year old, unless she releases the father of this responsibility.
If the couple are not sure of the Lord's will regarding marriage at the time that they form their parenting teamwork, they do not have to make a firm decision to either to marry or not to marry. As they work together and care for the child together they might grow in love for each other and the child, and with time feel more comfortable with the idea of marriage, in which case they are free to marry in accordance with the Marriage Rules.
When they complete the minimum responsibility period, if they have not yet received a clear answer from the Lord regarding marriage it's recommended that they hear from the Lord again, to see how He is leading. Whether they should part, having completed their minimum requirement, or whether they should marry, having grown in love and faith.
Parenting teamworks are not required to be romantic or sexual in nature. They can be one of friendship as they parent the child together. If both parties are in agreement to continuing a sexual relationship, that is fine, but it is to be a free choice that they should make together.
The parenting teamwork must be formed if pregnancy results even if the man and woman didn't intend to have intercourse but they did, or they chose to use a condom and it broke or came off, etc.
2. A single woman may, if she chooses, release the man from his "minimum responsibility" for the following reasons only:
a) If either the man or the woman feel led to a particular ministry and it is not convenient for them to participate in that ministry together.
This ministry need not be a specialized ministry; it can be a ministry that either the man or woman is led to participate in due to their talents and gifts. If there are extenuating circumstances that make it difficult for them to be together and pursue this ministry, then the single woman can release the man from his responsibility in order for him or her to pursue that ministry or opportunity of service in the Family.
b) If either the man or the woman chooses to leave a rich westernized field to go to a poor, non-westernized or non-Christian mission field.
For the purpose of this clause, the rich westernized fields are the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Western Europe.
c) If the man and woman presently live in different Homes and neither Home votes to accept the other person as a new Home member, and they can't find another Home to take them in, and don't feel it's God's will to open their own Home.
d) If the Home the man and woman live in closes and they cannot find a Home that will vote to receive them both and the child (or children), and they do not feel it is God's will to open their own Home together.
e) If the man has to leave the country for legal or visa purposes and cannot return.
In this case, however, the woman retains the right to travel with the man to his new country so that he can continue to fulfill his minimum responsibility, providing she receives clearance and a Home votes her in.
f) If, after they are a parenting teamwork, the woman decides to move to another Home and the man wishes to remain in their current Home.
g) If both the man and the woman feel it is not God's will to form a parenting teamwork.
Since the decision to release the man from his responsibility affects the Home, the single woman should counsel with her Home in making this decision, to be sure that she and the other Home members will be able to properly care for her baby and other Home responsibilities without the father's help.
3. The single man is automatically released from his minimum responsibility under the following circumstances:
a) If the man gets voted out of the Home and the woman prefers to stay in her Home.
b) If the woman is voted out of the Home and the man chooses to remain in the Home.
c) If either the man or the woman was to change from Charter Member status to Fellow Member status.
d) If the woman were to get pregnant with another man's baby, or were to become engaged to another man.
e) If the woman must leave the country due to legal or visa purposes and cannot return, and the man chooses not to go with her.
4. If a woman decides to release a man from his minimum responsibility, she should hear from the Lord in prophecy, and it's recommended she seek confirming prophecies from her elders as well.
a) All releases from the minimum responsibility are unconditional and cannot be overturned.
The woman cannot change her mind later and then hold the man responsible. If the man who was released later chooses of his own accord to fulfill what remains of the minimum 20-month responsibility, that is fine, but the woman cannot demand it.
b) Releases from the minimum responsibility must be recorded in writing, in accordance with Minimum Responsibility Release Form. The single woman must sign the form, along with at least one Home officer as a witness. The man and single woman should each have a copy of the signed release form.
c) The Home cannot prevent a woman from releasing the father of her child from his 20-month minimum responsibility.
It is strongly recommended that the woman counsel and pray together with her shepherds and Home to make sure she is able to care for her baby and her other Home responsibilities, or that she has sufficient help, support and the blessing of her Home before she decides to release the father of her child from his parenting teamwork responsibilities.
5. If not presently living in the same Home as the single woman, the man must either join her Home, or she must join his. If neither Home will vote them in as per the Right of Mobility, D., then the man is responsible to find another Home to accept them or open a new Home to care for the woman and child.
a) Because the single man is to do all he can to fulfill his minimum responsibility to a single mother, his vote will automatically be counted as a yes vote when his Home votes on whether to receive the single woman the man has impregnated into their Home.
The man and the pregnant woman must live in the same Home during the 20 months. If that necessitates one of them moving, they must be voted into the Home according to Rights of the Charter Home, E. If neither Home votes to receive them, then the single man is responsible to find another Home to take them in, or open a new Home to care for the woman and child, unless the single woman chooses to release the man from his responsibility.
If a Home refuses to receive someone who seeks to form a parenting teamwork with one of the Home members in order to fulfill their minimum requirement, it is highly recommended that the Home seek the Lord in prophecy for a confirmation of their decision, because the Lord may want the Home to receive these new people even if it goes contrary to their initial reaction or desires.
If the man and woman cannot find a Home to take them both in, and feel that it is not the Lord's will for them to open their own Home together, the woman may, after receiving a confirmation in prophecy, release the man from his minimum responsibility.
b) In the event that the man and woman are under 18, if neither of their Homes votes to receive them and they cannot find another Home to take them in, then the man is automatically released from his minimum responsibility, because under the Charter two people under 18 cannot open their own Home.
6. Both the man and woman may move to another Home or country during their parenting teamwork period, provided they remain together until the child has turned one year old.
7. If a Home votes out a man who is fulfilling his 20-month minimum responsibility to a woman in the Home, the woman can choose to leave with the man, or she can release the man from this responsibility and stay in her Home.
8. If a woman who forms part of a parenting teamwork is voted out of the Home, the man is not required to go with her. He can if he chooses to. If he chooses to stay in his Home, he is automatically released from his minimum 20-month responsibility.
9. If a man who is involved in a parenting teamwork has legal or visa problems and is forced to leave the country in which he lives, the following are the options open to the parenting teamwork:
a) If he can leave to take care of his business and then return to fulfill the rest of his 20-month minimum responsibility, he must do this.
b) The woman can leave the country with him, or join him later wherever he has gone.
c) She can release him from what remains of his minimum responsibility.
10. If the woman must leave the country she is in due to visa or legal problems, following are the options open to the parenting teamwork:
a) The ideal is for the woman to return after taking care of her visa or legal business, to complete the 20-month period of the parenting teamwork.
b) If she chooses not to return to her former country, the man can travel with her or join her on her new field if he chooses. However, the man is not obligated to do so. If he chooses not to go with her, he is automatically released from his minimum responsibility.
The woman should take special care to be sure of the Lord's will for her to move to another field. If the woman leaves the country and cannot return, then the man is also released from his responsibility unless he chooses to join the woman on her new field.
11. After a man and woman are an established parenting teamwork in a Home, if the woman wants to move to another Home and the man doesn't, he is not obligated to move. She can either release the man from his minimum responsibility and move, or she can choose to stay in the same Home and thus continue to benefit from his help.
12. If the Home where the parenting teamwork resides closes, the man and the woman must find a new Home to take them in together, until they have completed their minimum requirement, or else open their own Home.
a) If the man and woman cannot find a Home to take them in, and feel that it is not the Lord's will for them to open their own Home together, the woman may, after receiving a confirmation in prophecy, release the man from his minimum responsibility.
13. If a man knows he will be traveling soon and has written for clearance, he should inform the woman of his plans before having sexual activity that could result in pregnancy. If the woman becomes pregnant, the man and the woman are responsible to first pray about marriage. If they do not want to get married or they're not sure, then he can still leave as he had planned.
a) If she chooses, the woman has the right to join him on his new field to form a parenting teamwork, provided she receives clearance and is voted in to his new Home, or they find another Home to take them in, or they open their own Home. If she chooses not to join him he is automatically released from the minimum responsibility
14. If a man plans to travel but he did not tell the woman about his travel plans and that he had written for clearance to another country at the time when they were deciding whether to engage in sexual activity that could result in pregnancy, then he is obligated to fulfill his minimum responsibility regardless of his travel plans or the fact that he has written for clearance. If he has not yet left the country when the woman finds out she's pregnant, then there are two options:
a) If he is in a westernized country and is moving to a non-westernized country, the woman can release him from his minimum responsibility if she feels led.
For the purpose of this clause, "Westernized countries" are the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and all West European countries.
b) If he is in a non-westernized country already, then he is required to stay with the woman for the 20-month minimum responsibility, unless she chooses to go with him or release him from his responsibility for one of the other reasons in clause L. 2.
15. If the man had already moved to another country before the woman found out she was pregnant, he is not obligated to return provided he had informed the woman of his plans to travel and that he had written for clearance before they had intercourse.
a) The woman has the right to join him in his new location if she wants him to meet the 20-month minimum requirement, provided she receives clearance to his new Home, or they find another Home to take them in, or they open their own Home. If she chooses not to join him he is automatically released from the minimum responsibility.
b) If the man had not informed the woman of his plans to travel and that he had written for clearance prior to their decision to have intercourse, unless the woman releases him, he must return to his previous country to fulfill his minimum responsibility.
16. If at the time that the man and woman make the decision to engage in sexual activity which could result in pregnancy, the woman informs the man that she has written for clearance and plans to travel to another country, if the woman becomes pregnant, the man must do all he can to accompany her to the field or join her there to fulfill the minimum 20-month responsibility.
17. If the woman fails to inform the man of her travel plans and that she has written for clearance to another country when they decide to engage in sexual activity which could result in pregnancy, and she becomes pregnant, the man is not obligated to travel with her. But if she remains in the same country, the man is obligated to full the minimum responsibility.
a) If the woman is in another country when she finds out she's pregnant, the man is not required to join her. But if she returns to the former country, he is required to fulfill the minimum 20-month responsibility.
Should the woman release the man from his minimum responsibility because either he or she are moving to another country, and later he or she returns to the same country, the man is not required to complete his minimum responsibility. However, the loving and responsible thing for him to do would be to fulfill what remains of his minimum responsibility to the woman and child, if that is what the woman desires, but it is not required.
18. The woman is not obligated to receive the man's help. She has the last say as to whether they will form a parenting teamwork or whether she will release the man from his 20-month minimum responsibility.
If the woman decides to release the man from the minimum responsibility for reasons other than those listed in point L.2., she will be held accountable before the Lord for her decision, so she should not base her decision only on feelings. She should have prophecies to back up her decision, and it's recommended that she also seek confirming prophecies.
19. When the woman does not know who the father of her child is, she cannot hold any of the potential candidates to the 20-month minimum responsibility.
Although they will not be held to the minimum responsibility, all those who might be the father can share in the care of the woman during her pregnancy as much as they can.
a) Should it become known during the first year after the birth of the child who the father is, and both the man and the woman are agreed on the matter, then the best solution is that they marry. If they choose not to marry or aren't sure, the man must fulfill what remains of the 20-month minimum responsibility, unless the woman releases him.
b) If a man is not sure if he's the father of a child, and he becomes involved with or marries another woman in the meantime, if he and the woman he created a child with come to an agreement later that he is the father of the child, he will be held responsible for fulfilling the minimum responsibility, if the woman who bore his child so desires.
It's highly recommended that if a man knows there's a possibility that he might have fathered a child with someone else, he should make this known to any woman he becomes seriously involved with in the future, until such time as he knows that he is not the father of the child, or until he has fulfilled the minimum responsibility, or until the mother of the child has released him from his responsibility.
20. If a man impregnates more than one woman he is responsible to fulfill the minimum 20-month responsibility with them all, unless one or more of the women feels led to release him of the responsibility.
When a man has impregnated more than one woman, he is required to pray about the relationship he will have with each one. First he should pray about the option of marriage to see how the Lord would lead him in that respect. It could be that the Lord would lead him to marry one of the women or that they would enter into a threesome relationship. There is also the possibility that the Lord would lead the man to marry one of the women and assume the 20-month minimum responsibility with the other. Or there is the possibility that the Lord would lead the man to assume the 20-month minimum responsibility with both women--and in both the previous cases--of course, they would have to make arrangements to all live in the same Home.
21. A man who has either been released from forming a parenting teamwork with the mother of his child or who completes the designated minimum 20-month responsibility can support the woman financially or with goods, if he chooses, but it's not required. He should at least support her spiritually, with love, encouragement, and prayer.
22. If a man refuses to fulfill his minimum responsibility when he has fathered a child, the continental office will decide whether he will be fully or partially excommunicated.
For a fuller explanation of the "minimum responsibility" when a single woman gets pregnant, please read "Living the Lord's Law of Love, Part 6" (ML #3206, GN 809/Lifelines 25).
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M. A Charter married couple has a minimum responsibility towards any single woman the man impregnates, regardless of the circumstances that brought about the pregnancy.
1. They must form a parenting teamwork with the single woman, and live in the same Home together. The man and his wife will help care for the single woman physically, emotionally and spiritually throughout her pregnancy, as well as help care for her and the baby for the first year of the child's life, unless the single woman releases the couple of their responsibility earlier.
a) When a couple forms a parenting teamwork with a single woman who has other children, the man is to be a father figure to all the children, not just to his one flesh child.
b) When a single woman forms a parenting teamwork with a married couple who has other children, she also is responsible to help them with the care of their children.
c) The 20-month minimum responsibility applies to all pregnancies that occur after November 1, 1998, even if unexpected.
When a married man and a single woman create a child, the Lord does not emphasize marriage (which would mean a threesome). However, a parenting teamwork must be formed if pregnancy results even if the man and woman didn't intend to have intercourse but they did, or they chose to use a condom and it broke or came off, etc.
The relationship the married man and single woman share as a parenting teamwork can be one of friendship, as the couple and single mother parent the child or children together. It need not be a romantic or sexual relationship between the man and single woman. If the husband and wife are in agreement with the man and single woman continuing a sexual relationship, that is fine, if the single woman wants to. The husband cannot continue to have a sexual relationship with the single woman without the consent of his wife.
2. A single woman may, if she chooses, release the married couple from their minimum responsibility for the following reasons:
a) If either the couple or the woman feel led to a particular ministry and it is not convenient for them to participate in that ministry together.
This ministry need not be a specialized ministry; it can be a ministry that either the couple or woman is led to participate in due to their talents and gifts. If there are extenuating circumstances that make it difficult for them to be together and pursue this ministry, then the single woman can release the couple from their responsibility in order for herself or them to pursue that ministry or opportunity of service in the Family.
b) If either the couple or the single woman chooses to leave a rich westernized field to go to a poor non-westernized or non-Christian mission field.
For the purpose of this clause, the rich westernized fields are the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Western Europe.
c) If a couple without children and a single woman live in different Homes when they find out the single woman is pregnant, and neither Home votes to receive the other person as a new member, and they can't find another Home to take them in, and they don't feel it's the Lord's will to open their own Home.
It is a serious decision for a Home to decline to receive such new personnel. It is recommended that a Home hear from the Lord regarding all requests from Family members to join their Home. But in the case of the possible formation of a parenting teamwork, if a Home feels inclined to not receive the couple or woman, it is especially important that they hear from the Lord to get a confirmation. The Lord may want the Home to receive these new members even though it seems contrary to the initial reaction or preference of the Home council.
d) If the couple gets voted out of the Home and the single woman prefers to stay in her Home.
e) If the Home that the couple and single woman live in closes, and they cannot find a Home that will vote to receive them both and the child (or children), and they do not feel it is the Lord's will to open their own Home together.
f) If both the couple and the woman feel it is not the Lord's will to form a parenting teamwork.
In this case it is advisable to not only have personal prophecies that confirm this decision, but also to ask for confirming prophecies from their shepherds or parents (in the case of senior teens or YAs).
g) If the single woman is already in a good "One Wife" Home situation where her needs are being sufficiently met.
3. Reasons in which the extenuating circumstances make it such that the single woman would be required to either release the couple or choose to move with them (in which case she must receive clearance and be voted in to her new Home).
a) If the couple has children and are moving from a rich westernized field to a poor non-westernized mission field.
b) If the couple has children and they wish to move to a different Home or another country that would provide a significantly better situation for their children.
In either of the above two cases, the single woman must allow them to move, but she has the right to go with them if she wishes. She must, of course, receive clearance and be voted in to the new Home.
c) If either the couple or the single woman changes from Charter Member status to Fellow Member status.
d) If the single woman were to get pregnant with another man's baby, or were to become engaged to another man.
e) If, after they are a parenting teamwork, the single woman chooses to move to another Home, and the couple wishes to remain in their present Home.
f) If the couple has children and they and the single woman presently live in different Homes and the Home that the married couple lives in does not vote to accept the single woman as a new Home member.
In such a case, it is recommended that the Home where the couple lives hear from the Lord in prophecy for a clear confirmation as to His will, and the reasons why He wishes them to accept or not to accept the woman into their Home. The couple (with children) can choose to move to the single woman's Home, if they get voted in, or open their own Home, if they feel led, but it's not required. If the couple's present Home does not vote to receive the single woman and the couple does not feel led to move to the single woman's Home nor open their own Home, then they are released from their responsibility.
g) If the couple has to leave the country for legal or visa purposes and cannot return, either due to visa or legal reasons, or they choose not to return due to circumstances such as lack of finances or visa limitations.
(1) The single woman has the right to join the couple in their new location if she so desires, and if she receives clearance and is accepted by their new Home's vote.
h) If the single woman leaves the country and cannot return or chooses not to return.
The couple may join her on her new field if they desire, but they are not required to do so.
i) The single woman is voted out of the Home, and the couple chooses not to go with her.
4. All releases from the minimum responsibility are unconditional and cannot be overturned.
The single woman cannot change her mind later and then hold the couple responsible. If the couple who was released later chooses of their own accord to fulfill what remains of the 20-month minimum responsibility, they may do so; but the single woman cannot demand it.
If a woman decides to release a couple from their minimum responsibility she should hear from the Lord in prophecy, and it's recommended she seek confirming prophecies from her elders as well.
5. Releases from the minimum responsibility must be recorded in writing, using the Minimum Responsibility Release Form. The single woman is to sign the form, along with at least one Home officer as a witness. The couple and single woman should each keep a copy of the signed release form.
6. The Home cannot prevent a woman from releasing the couple from their 20-month minimum responsibility.
It is strongly recommended, however, that the woman counsels and prays together with her shepherds and Home to make sure she is able to care for her baby and her other Home responsibilities, or that she has sufficient help, support and the blessing of her Home, before she decides to release the couple from their parenting teamwork responsibilities.
7. To form a parenting teamwork, the married couple and single woman must live in the same Home during the 20 months. If that necessitates either the single woman moving to the Home of the married couple, or the married couple being received into the Home of a single woman, they must be voted into the Home according to Rights of the Charter Home, E.
a) If the Home of the couple with children votes not to receive the single woman, and if after prayer, the married couple feels that having to pull up stakes and move to a new Home would be a detriment to their family and their children who are already fruitful and well established where they are, then the couple is released from their responsibility.
(1) Because married couples are to do all they can to fulfill their minimum responsibility to a single mother, their vote will automatically be counted as a yes vote when their Home votes on whether to receive the single woman the man has impregnated into their Home.
When a parenting teamwork involves a married couple with children and a single woman, the needs of all parties involved, the couple and their children as well as the single mother and her child/children, must be taken into consideration.
If a Home chooses not to receive a single woman who seeks to form a parenting teamwork with a married couple who is in their Home, it is highly recommended that that Home seek the Lord in prophecy for a confirmation of their decision, because the Lord may want the Home to receive this single woman even if it goes contrary to their initial reaction or desires.
The option also remains for the couple and their children to move to the Home of the single woman, if they wish and if that Home votes to receive them as new members; or they can find another Home that will receive their parenting teamwork, or open a new Home. But this is not required when the couple has children. The ideal when the couple has children is that the single woman joins the Home where the couple lives, if she doesn't already live there.
b) In the event that the couple and single woman are under 18, if neither of their Homes votes to receive them and they cannot find another Home to take them in, then the couple is automatically released from their minimum responsibility
8. Both the couple and single woman may move to another Home or country during their parenting teamwork period, provided they remain together until the child has turned one year old.
9. If a Home votes out a couple who is fulfilling their 20-month minimum responsibility to a single woman in the Home, the single woman can choose to leave with the couple, or she can release them from their responsibility.
10. If the single woman is voted out of the Home, the couple is not required to go with her. They can if they choose to. If they choose to stay in their Home they are automatically released from their 20-month minimum responsibility.
11. If a married man who is involved in a parenting teamwork has legal or visa problems and must leave the country in which he lives, the following are the options open to the parenting teamwork:
a) If he can leave to take care of his business and then return to care for his wife, family and the single mother and her child/children, he must do this.
b) If it is necessary that the man and his wife and family leave the country due to legal or visa problems, they are not required to return to care for the single mother, but the single woman has the right to join them on their new field for the remainder of the 20 months.
Again, the needs of the parenting teamwork as a whole must be considered. In this case, however, the single woman has the right to join the couple in their new location if she so desires, and if she receives clearance and is accepted by their new Home's vote. But if this does not work out then the couple would be released from the remainder of their responsibility.
12. If the single woman must leave her field due to visa or legal problems, following are the options open to the parenting teamwork:
a) The ideal situation is for the single woman to return after taking care of her visa or legal business to complete her 20-month parenting teamwork, in which case the married couple is obligated to resume the parenting teamwork.
b) If the single woman cannot return or chooses to remain on her new field, then the married couple is released from their responsibility, unless they choose to join her.
The single woman should take special care to be sure of the Lord's will for her to move to another field. If the single woman leaves the country and cannot return, then the couple is also released from their responsibility unless they choose to join her on her new field.
13. After a couple and single woman are an established parenting teamwork in a Home, if the single woman wants to move to another Home the couple is not obligated to move with her. In such a case, they are released from their minimum responsibility.
The couple can of course choose to move with the single mom to another Home or country, if they feel led.
14. If a married couple and a single woman are a parenting teamwork and their Home closes, they need to find a Home that will vote to receive them, or they should open their own Home. If they feel it is not the Lord's will for them to open a Home together, the woman may choose to release the couple from their minimum responsibility.
Parenting teamworks are to make it easier for the pregnant woman or single mother, especially in dire conditions or circumstances of great need. If the Home of a parenting teamwork closes the couple cannot move into a Home without the single woman unless they can also find a Home for the her which she is happy to move into, and thus she agrees to release the couple. This counsel is for all couples, regardless of whether or not they have children. The couple must care for the single woman and her children as well as their own as best they can.
The best thing is for the couple and single woman to find a Home that is willing to receive them all, or for them to open a new Home so they can continue their 20-month minimum responsibility. They do, however, also have the option of finding a Home that will vote to receive the single woman--in which case, if she chooses to move into that Home, she can release the couple. That would be acceptable, but only if they find another Home for the single woman can the couple move into another Home that has accepted them without the single woman.
It is acceptable when stop gap measures are necessary for the couple and single woman to temporarily live in separate Homes until a new Home is found that will receive the whole parenting teamwork, or they're able to open their own Home, or the single woman released the couple. But this must be temporary and the parties involved must be actively looking for accommodations where they can be together to fulfill their parenting responsibilities together. If it is determined that the couple is not working to unite with and care for the single mother, they will be in jeopardy of excommunication.
15. If the couple has no children and they wish to leave a westernized field to go to a non-westernized field, the single woman has the right to go with them if she receives clearance, or she can choose to release them. She is not obligated to release them, and if she doesn't, they must remain to fulfill the 20-month minimum responsibility. If she releases them so they can travel, she can choose to be a parenting teamwork with them until they leave.
a) For the purpose of this clause, the "westernized countries" are the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and all West European countries.
16. If a couple has children and they wish to leave a westernized field to go to a non-westernized field, the single woman can go with them, or she can stay with them as a parenting teamwork until they travel. But she cannot keep them from moving from a westernized field to a non-westernized field.
If the couple's right to travel was due to their desire to take the children out of a westernized field the single woman is obligated to allow them to travel, and thus release them from their minimum responsibility, so they can move their children to higher ground.
a) If the single woman later travels to the field where the couple is living, the couple must fulfill what remains of the 20-month minimum responsibility.
If a single woman plans to travel to a field to form a parenting teamwork with a couple on that field, she would need to go through the standard procedure to have a Home on that field accept her, as well as request clearance from the CRO. If she does not receive clearance, then she and the couple may apply for clearance to a different country, if they so desire. Or the couple has the option of returning to the field where she is. But if she is denied clearance and the couple is not led to change fields or return to the field where she is, the couple is automatically released from their minimum responsibility.
17. If a couple with children has formed a parenting teamwork with a single woman and the couple wishes to move on to another Home or field, either westernized or non-westernized, that would provide a significantly better situation for their children, the single mother must allow them to travel.
a) The single woman has the right to accompany the couple to their new field to form a parenting teamwork, provided she gets clearance to their new Home, or the couple feels led to find another Home to take them in, or they open their own Home. If she does not join them, they are released from their minimum responsibility.
18. If a married couple with no children is planning to move to another country, they can only move if they had informed the pregnant single woman of their plans to travel and that they had written for clearance at the time that the man and the single woman decided what sexual activities they would engage in on their date, unless the woman releases them.
a) If the couple moves, the single woman has the right to join the couple on their new field to form a parenting teamwork, provided she gets clearance to their new Home, or the couple feels led to find another Home to take them in, or they open their own Home.
19. If a couple failed to tell the single woman of their plans to travel and that they had written for clearance when the man and the single woman were deciding what to do on their date and the couple are already on their new field when they learn that the woman is pregnant, it is not required that they return to their former field. But the couple still must fulfill what remains of the minimum responsibility if the woman desires to join them on their field.
20. If a woman releases the couple from their responsibility so that she can travel from one field to another field and then later she returns to her former field where the couple live, the couple is not obligated to join together with her to fulfill what remains of the 20-month minimum responsibility.
The couple and single woman can contact each other and pray about what they want to do now that they're both on the same field again, but the woman cannot hold the couple responsible. It must be by the couple's choice.
21. If a single woman becomes pregnant from a married man, whether or not she had informed him at the time of their date that she'd written for clearance and planned to travel to another country, the couple will not be required to accompany her to her field.
If a single woman who is planning to go to the mission field consents to having intercourse with a married man, she does so with the knowledge that if she gets pregnant and still wishes to move to her new field, she will have to forfeit her right to the parenting teamwork unless the couple chooses to go with her. The needs and considerations of all must be taken into account. The married man has obligations to his family, and moving his entire family to a new field may not be expedient.
a) The single woman can decide to postpone her move and join the couple for the 20-month minimum time period, in which case the couple is obligated to fulfill their minimum responsibility. Or she can move on to her new field, which automatically releases the couple from their responsibility if they choose not to accompany her.
22. Whether or not a single woman informed a couple (or the man) of her travel plans and that she had written for clearance before they decide what to do on their date, if she is on her new field when she finds out she's pregnant, the couple is not required to join her.
a) If she returns to her former field however, the couple is required to fulfill the 20-month minimum responsibility.
23. In situations where the married couple is traveling to a new Home or field and the single woman chooses to go with them, the three adults should work together to raise the funds needed for all the members of the parenting teamwork to travel.
24. The woman is not obligated to receive the couple's help. She has the last say as to whether they will form a parenting teamwork or whether she will release the couple from their 20-month minimum responsibility
She will be held accountable before the Lord for her decision, so she should not base her decision only on feelings but have prophecies to back up her decision. It's recommended that she also seek confirming prophecies.
25. When the woman does not know who the father of her child is, she cannot hold any of the potential candidates to the 20-month minimum responsibility.
a) Should it become known during the first year after the birth of the child who the father is, and the couple and the woman are agreed on the matter, then the couple must fulfill what remains of their minimum responsibility if the single woman so desires.
It's highly recommended that if a married man knows there's a possibility that he might have fathered a child with a single woman, he should make this known to any other single woman he becomes involved with in the future, until such time as he knows that he is not the father of the child, or until he has fulfilled the minimum responsibility, or until the mother of the child has released him from his responsibility.
26. If a married man impregnates more than one single woman, he and his wife are responsible to fulfill the 20-month minimum responsibility with each of them, unless one or more feels led to release them from their responsibility.
In cases where a married man and single woman feel led to engage in any form of sex (in agreement with the wife) where there is a possibility of pregnancy resulting, it is wise for them to ask their partner what arrangements he or she has with other sharing partners. They should also offer the information as to whether they are having sex with anyone else that could result in pregnancy, such as putting the penis in and pulling out before ejaculation, having intercourse with a condom, masturbating the woman's vaginal area with the penis, etc. The time to communicate on these matters is when the couple and single woman are deciding what the husband & single woman will do on their date.
A couple who either has been released from a parenting teamwork or who has completed the designated 20-month minimum responsibility can support the single woman and her child/children financially or with goods, if they choose to do so, but it's not required. They should at least support spiritually, with love, encouragement, support and prayer.
27. If a married man is a potential candidate to be the father of the single woman's baby, if they're not sure, the couple can leave the Home. If it is later agreed upon by the couple and the single woman that the husband is the father of the child, the couple does not have to return to their former Home or field to care for the single woman.
a) The single woman has the right, however, to join the couple in their new Home to form a parenting teamwork, if she gets voted in to the Home and receives clearance, if it is a different country.
28. If a couple refuses to fulfill their minimum responsibility when the man has fathered a child, the continental office will decide whether they will be fully or partially excommunicated.
For a fuller explanation of the "minimum responsibility" when a single woman gets pregnant to a married man, please read "Living the Lord's Law of Love, Part 7" (ML #3206) (GN 809) (Lifelines 25).
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N. Members may not engage in sexual perversions or any other unclean or unloving sexual activity that is physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually harmful or dangerous, such as: anal intercourse, etc.
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Family members may not engage in sexual perversions such as sadomasochism, bestiality, anal intercourse, etc.
Watch out for sexual perversions; they are unhealthy and unscriptural (ML #123:28).
There are some kinds of sex that are filthy; not all sex is clean, not all sex is good. It depends on who you're having sex with and what your motivation and attitude of mind and heart are, whether it's in love, especially God's Love (ML #2213:47).
O. Members must not knowingly pass on any sexual afflictions. They must inform partners of their afflictions and take necessary precautions and/or abstain, to avoid passing on afflictions to others.
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1. Anyone who has had herpes, either HSV1 (fever blisters or cold sores) or HSV2 (genital herpes) must inform their partner, prior to sharing, that they have had herpes.
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2. Herpes-free people may choose not to use a condom while having intercourse with a partner who has had genital herpes. If the herpes-free person wishes to have sex with another herpes-free person within two months after this, they must inform their new partner of the unprotected sex with a previous partner who has had herpes.
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3. Mated members should agree together before one of them engages in sexual activity with a partner who has had herpes, either genital herpes, or fever blisters or cold sores.
The Law of Love dictates that we should not hurt others. Passing on a sexual affliction would be hurting others and should therefore be avoided. Anyone with a sexual affliction should take appropriate sanitary measures to avoid passing on their affliction to others. They should also inform their sexual partners about their affliction. Fever blisters and cold sores (HSV1) are blisters that appear on or near the lips that become crusty and develop scabs. These herpes blisters are different from canker sores, which are usually inside the mouth, and other sores or discoloration on the lips that are not herpes related.
I don't think we need to leave it up to the Lord as to whether we catch VD or not! A lot of that depends on us and our sanitary measures and keeping ourselves clean and free of contacts which can possibly incur contamination (ML #1434:20).
If two partners are sharing and one has had a herpes outbreak and the other hasn't, they may, if they choose, use a condom as a means of protection.
If you have been completely healed of herpes--that is, you haven't had an outbreak of herpes in a number of years--it is still required that you inform your partner that you have previously had herpes; and it is still the prerogative of the other person to ask that you use a condom while sharing.
(Question: About Family members with herpes: Should they share with others?) Answer: It is extremely contagious and virulent when active!--As evidenced by sores, blisters and itching on genitals or mouth. However, when dormant and no symptoms are evident, it does not normally seem contagious. Matthew 9:29. (ML #1254:5.)
I've never forbidden condoms for sanitary purposes! (ML #1458:20.)
P. Members must refrain from viewing pornographic movies, or videos, reading pornographic magazines and books or the use of phone-sex services. Pornographic movies, videos, books and magazines are those in which the sexual organs are the main characters and/or those whose sole purpose is to sexually arouse the viewer or reader.
God deliver us from those vicious sexual vices! You shouldn't tolerate them!... King David himself said, "I will set no unclean thing before mine eyes!" (Psalm 101:3)--and that's a very good rule for all of us when it comes to movies, pictures or sex! If it's unloving, it's ungodly! I think that's a very good criterion to us: God is Love, and if it's not pictures of loving, gentle, affectionate, good, kind, clean sex, then it's certainly bad fare. "Come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing!" (2Corinthians 6:17.) "Have no fellowship with the works of darkness!" (Ephesians 5:11), etc. God help you! (ML #935:33,10,36).
Q. Female homosexual relationships are not permitted.
You will notice that this is worded differently from the male homosexual rule in the Offenses Warranting Excommunication section. The Bible specifically prohibits male-with-male sexual activity, but there are no passages forbidding such activity between women. This rule is meant to reflect that difference, as we do not entirely prohibit all female-with-female sexual activity, unlike the rule regarding males.
As Dad said, it's fairly natural for some females to be affectionate and loving towards each other. It would therefore be acceptable for two sisters to hold hands or be arm in arm, or have their arms around each other, kiss, caress or hug each other closely, even sexually. Whereas any sexual overtures between two men is prohibited. Of course, such female-with-female cuddling would need to be conducted in the non-public areas of the Home, just as any other sexual affection would.
Although such affection between women would be permitted, an actual lesbian relationship, in which the two partners were deeply involved to the exclusion of others, is prohibited. The definition of homosexual is, "Relating to, or having a sexual orientation to persons of the same sex." And as Dad has said, it is not natural for women to only desire sex with other women; such female homosexual relationships would not be considered as natural, and as such are not permitted.
Although many may consider affection between women distasteful, we must remember that love is what should guide us. We must be understanding of the needs of others, so if two women have the need for affection between themselves, since it is not Biblically forbidden, we should be loving and mature enough to understand.
Any such female-with-female activity must be with mutual consent, and no one should be coerced or feel pressured into participating. This is not a license for those who feel the need for such affection to try to actively search for those who will participate. Only if there is a mutual desire and agreement between two women may they be affectionate with one another.
When a girl has never had any normal desire for a man, I begin to wonder if it's a spiritual thing. It is certainly not normal or natural as God intended, therefore such lesbianism is a perversion (ML #292:5).
But two [women] can be very close friends without having to necessarily express it that way, although why not? (ML #292:61.)
Where it is real love and affection of any two people for each other, that's a different story. But this carnal ... lust of the flesh, ... totally only for women, that's not of the Lord (ML #1748:17).
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family