OUR SIDE

--In Defense of our Faith, Family, and Lifestyle

Dear Family,

In light of the bitter accusations leveled at Dad, Mama, Peter and WS that have recently been circulated by various detractors, there was a groundswell amongst those who know Mama and Peter personally to speak up and share their experiences.

Those of us who wrote these would like to make it clear that Mama and Peter did not solicit these testimonies. This idea came from those of us who live and work in WS, many of whom live day in and day out with Mama and Peter.

We felt compelled to take a stand against the lies, mistruths and personal attacks on our shepherds by declaring the truth. So we opened the floor to a variety of people who have lived with Mama and Peter, interacted closely with them, and who know their true nature-giving them the opportunity to share their thoughts and views with you via this open forum. The response we received was overwhelming. Many WS members, CROs, and a few field missionaries who know Dad, Mama and Peter intimately, wrote personal testimonials and firsthand accounts of their experiences.

We let people know that Mama and Peter were in the midst of addressing the most major accusations about WS, Mama and Peter’s leadership, the use of prophecy, and other specifics in the GN “None of These Things Move Me,” so most people chose to shed light on Mama and Peter, their character, their personal lives, and the way they handle people. We’re sure you’ll find this interesting. As you’ll see, the accounts in these mags strongly contrast with those that certain former members have recently circulated. Read them for yourself and decide who you’ll believe.

We pray you'll enjoy these mags and that they will provide you with greater understanding and insight into Mama and Peter’s lives and daily mode of operation, from those who know them best.

Love,

Your WS Staff

PS. Please note that we’ve left the articles in these mags as they were originally written. This is what people had to say about Mama, Peter, WS, and the Family, in the way they had to say it. If this were a regular Family pub, we would have done more editing. The mag editors probably wouldn’t have chosen to say some things in the exact way people chose to say them. But this is the “raw truth” as seen through the eyes of these individuals. Let the truth be known!

Note: If you feel led to share portions of this FSM series with former members, close friends of the Family, or relatives who have questions along these lines, you may do so, if the Lord confirms it for each individual. Please get His guidelines and counsel on precisely which testimonies or excerpts would benefit your friends, and prayerfully “preview” the material beforehand.

* * *

I Know Them

By Margie, CRO (a.k.a. Marianne), Japan

I first met Dad and Mama in 1978, right in the middle of the RNR, and I have been working under their direct shepherding and oversight, in different projects, ministries and responsibilities for over 20 years now. I had the chance to visit them several times in different countries and situations, and we worked quite closely together during the period of the DTD tapes, the “Life with Grandpa” book projects, in the P.I., and particularly during the exciting days of the DF ministry. I attended many meetings, summits and conferences led by Peter. For all those years we have kept regular communications through which I have been able to share my heart, talk about my personal situation, ask countless number of questions, report on personal mistakes, discuss the work and personnel situations, and have received counsel from Dad, Mama and Peter on a wide range of personal and work matters.

Having met them, worked with them and abundantly communicated with them for all these years, as well as visited them in their Home at various times, I know from experience of the love, care, openness and concern with which they handle people’s thoughts, ideas and opinions, their hearts, confessions and questions. I feel very grieved by the description and misrepresentation given by James Penn’s recent letter. I understand certain people feeling that the Family is not the place for them, I understand that some find other situations that they are more comfortable with, and that not everyone will continue to embrace our doctrines and the new moves of the Spirit-that is their choice according to their faith. But what is very upsetting is when they turn around and try to discredit the very hand that fed them all these years, and especially painting such an unfair portrait to our young people, who might not know better, of the leaders the Lord has appointed to this Family, in order to discredit both these leaders and the Family, and hence hindering all the good that is being done, and which they cannot deny!

Throughout all these many years that I’ve been working and counseling with Mama and Peter in particular, but also Dad, I have always been encouraged to give my candid opinion on all subjects, and to speak up about anything that I may have concerns or disagreements about. We have a clear understanding, and it has been emphasized to me repeatedly over the years, that if I receive advice for a situation or an individual which I don't feel comfortable about, or don't have the faith for, since I am the one involved in the situation, and I understand more of the ins and outs, I should operate according to my faith, and I should handle the counsel and advice passed on in a Spirit-led manner. This is something that has always impressed me, and I have tried to be as open with those I shepherd, LHM!

I believe that part of the keynote to every visit that I made to their Home or meeting I attended always included encouragement to be totally honest about any matter, any personal question, or about any pub that I was given to read. My comments and suggestions were always received with appreciation, even if they were out of it or not relevant! I believe Mama and Peter, from Dad’s training, are a good sample of the council given in “The Wise Leader,” and they do practice very much drawing from people’s ideas and input. There are times that the Lord may be leading them in some direction and they have chosen to remain faithful to what the Lord shows them-which all do not have to agree with, and if one does not, then they can operate according to their faith at the level of discipleship they feel comfortable with. People can agree to disagree and go on to do what they have the faith for!

Dad, Mama and Peter have not put themselves up on pedestals or pretended to be perfect or that they don't make mistakes; to the contrary they have made many confessions over the years, which I respect them for. They have shared many lessons and always try to give God the glory for the good, and teach us to do the same. There are hundreds of letters and messages that I have written through the years in which I brought up questions, problems, confessions, and mistakes, and my opinions and points of view were always handled with respect. My preferences were acknowledged and my personal faith and initiative were encouraged. Corrections were also given, but in a very loving manner, which made me want to try again.

At times it took faith for me to follow the counsel that I received, but I have never been put under pressure to do something which I didn't believe in or for which I didn't feel I had the faith for. This is something that I truly admire in Mama and Peter's leadership, and which is also so clearly laid out and expressed in the Charter: Each one is encouraged to go according to their faith!

I understand that some people have a hard time embracing the more radical beliefs of the Family, or they feel unsettled by the new moves of the Spirit, from the post-Charter era to the greater use of prophecy, the Loving Jesus revelation, etc. I'm saddened that they’re missing out on a lot, because by following the New Wine, I have found great strength in it. As Jesus said, "If any man will do of His will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God or whether I speak of myself” (John 7:17).

The New Wine has helped me to be a lot more aware of Jesus in my life and in my circumstances, and to draw closer to Him, to feel Him more at the controls in my life, which is the reason I chose to serve Him in this Family in the first place. It has not led me to a Peter or Mama worship, but rather to be more anchored and led in my decisions by the One I have chosen to give my life to. The Word that we've received in the recent years has only helped me to learn to live with more praise, more prayer, more listening to His still, small voice; more quiet time with Him, and learning to let Him guide me.

Mama and Peter are continuing to do as Dad taught them, pointing us to the Lord and encouraging us to draw closer to Him. The whole spirit of the Charter and its application have been to set people free to live according to their faith. In all the leadership meetings that we have had since the Charter, the Lord has led the leadership of the Family to encourage people to look more to the Lord themselves, instead of having their eyes so much on their leadership. Of course, prophecy is used more extensively and is a powerful means of receiving the Lord’s words and instruction, but the Charter states clearly that you should only follow the prophecies that you have the faith for, and that if you have any questions you should ask for further guidance and confirmation. So actually we have powerful safeguards in place in the Charter to make sure that people are not led blindly about by someone’s message that they have received from the Lord.

In working with Mama and Peter, I have always appreciated and admired the fact that they are very personable and always welcome new ideas, questions, comments, and in CRO message after CRO message we are encouraged to pray about and suggest policy changes and ways to improve all aspects of our Family life. They are very aware of the fact that certain things do need to change and improve in the Family, and although I'm sure they must not approve of all the ideas and suggestions offered, no one is put down or rebuked for saying what they feel. This is something I greatly appreciate in my working relationship with Mama and Peter, that I know I can say whatever is on my heart or on my mind freely and I have no fear of heavy-handed dealing for it. I know that if I’m truly out of it, they will let me know, but with love and consideration.

Along the same lines, I've always appreciated Peter's ability to draw out people's opinions and listen to their ideas. Though in the final decision they may take a different route, according to what the Lord shows them after counsel, yet I have not heard them put down individuals, mock or criticize them for having different opinions.

One thing that really won me when I first visited at the RNR, and which I have seen unchanged through the years, is that they are just the way they are portrayed in the Letters. They don't pretend to be perfect, they don't hide that they’re human and that they make mistakes, they give God the credit for the good, and they always encourage each other to save the missionaries’ funds. I was often convicted by the frugality and the simplicity of their Home when I visited, whereas in the Home that I was living in, we were often more careless and wasteful, Lord help us! They dress simple, they act simple, and they try to live just what they preach. I love the relaxed, sweet spirit that pervades their Home, where a lot gets done with a high degree of dedication, but also sweet, fun interaction and lots of love are manifested.

I've always been touched by their consideration for people in different situations and circumstances. Mama truly has the beautiful gift of being able to put herself in other people's shoes. I could tell countless little stories of things that truly deeply touched me and which proved to me their genuine love and concern in spite of their great responsibilities. When I became single in the P.I., Peter, as busy as he was, would take the time every now and then to come and fellowship with me, to encourage me and help me though that difficult period of my life. Peter was not drawing me to himself, but he would always share some personal lessons and talk to me about his great love for Mama and the lessons he was learning through it all. He was a wonderful listener and encourager.

When I first got separated, it was a period of breaking and learning big lessons for me, so dear Abi was sent to be a companion to me. She didn’t lecture me nor try to convince me to do this or that; she just was there to pray for me and listen when I needed it. She was such a strength, and I knew her being there was something the Lord had laid on Mama’s heart at the time.

When I gave birth to Gabriel, and found out that he was so handicapped, Mama remembered someone who had a gift and talent to work with handicapped children, and she let me know and worked it out for that dear sister to come and help me, which was such a great blessing. So many times through the years I have seen such very thoughtful gestures extended to me or others, and I knew that they were done just out of real love and sacrificial concern.

I remember one year when I was invited to stay with Mama while Peter and other leaders were gone to a Summit meeting. I was very touched at the time to see how simply Mama and Dad lived. Mama was so cheerful and enthusiastic about the work and concerned about others, even though her eyes were causing her a lot of trouble. She was not engrossed with herself and her woes. Actually, I was surprised at how "handicapped" she was at the time, yet always praiseful, bubbling with new ideas, giving her all to the work, and always talking about the need of the work or some situation or Family member. (Thank the Lord her health has greatly improved since then!)

I treasured the times when she and I would go out on walks together in the evening, and she would spend half of the time just praying for people and situations, for the leaders involved in the Summit meetings, for them to get their instruction from the Lord etc. She didn’t come across as someone full of herself and her own ideas-she was eager to hear what I had to say about all kinds of subjects. I know it greatly impressed me and caused me to be very desperate to really pray so that I would not misrepresent people or situations. Her sample of concern for others and of desperation did really make me want to come back a better, more dedicated and prayerful leader myself.

Along the same lines of truly caring for people, I remember Dad being so moved for a dear lady in France who was showing us a house for rent. He was looking at this very nice estate she was offering, and he could have been mostly concerned for his personal security and selahness, but the Lord really touched his heart and he started witnessing to this lady, as well as praying for her, giving a short prophecy. It was awesome for me, but it was not weird at all and the lady was deeply touched, it was so beautiful in the spirit. He was moved and cared for her more than for his own needs or what she might think of him!

Mama and Peter have certainly proven their love, concern, and dedication by having Peter travel months out of every year at great personal cost and sacrifice, spending hours away from home, visiting different fields, listening to the brethren, hosting meetings, drawing out people's opinions and ideas, getting a personal feel for situations and ministries, all because of their desperation to make the Family the best place possible to serve Jesus. They have certainly been to me samples of leaders who do care and get involved!

Though I am very aware that we as a Family and as a movement need to progress in many areas, I believe in this Family, in its potential, and its special place in God's plan, and that it is what it is because of the Lord and Dad, Mama and Peter’s leadership. Our Family is something so beautiful, so precious, so worth fighting for! The Family reaches people that others have not managed to reach. When people visit our Homes, they know there is something different and they are touched by the spirit of David.

So it is extremely sad to me when those who choose another path turn around and try to stop the good work that’s being done. They can’t help but acknowledge that we have wonderful people, many doing a great job reaching parts of the world like no others can, that the fruit is good, the “people” are good, but just like Dad said in the Letter “The Tree,” they want to prove that it’s the leadership that is bad. All I see Mama and Peter doing is trying to encourage the Family to do a better job of preaching the Gospel while we still can, to make disciples of all nations, to lay down our lives for others and help those who are in distress, both physically and spiritually! By their fruits you shall know them, and those who are indeed following the method and the message put forth by Mama and Peter are doing a wonderful work and are held in high esteem and are sought after in many places.

There is so much more to do to bring the Gospel Light into this world, that it’s very sad when someone who leaves abases himself to turn around and attack those whom he worked and lived with for so many years. I'm so glad that Mama and Peter choose to live and let live and to stay on the wall in order to help the Family do a better job for Jesus while there is still time!

* * *

My Reply to the Accusations Against Mama and Peter

By Dust, Mexico

Having read this most recent attack on the Family and its leadership, and against Mama and Peter in particular, I feel especially compelled to reply to the accusations which have been made against Mama and Peter personally. These are assaults on their character, on their mode of operation as leaders and shepherds. These are attacks even against the motives of their hearts. They are very condemning and accusatory.

Because I have had the privilege of knowing both Mama and Peter personally for a number of years, I feel compelled to address these attacks and to express from my own personal experience how I see these things and what my relationship and experience has been with Mama and Peter. I know there are many other issues which come under attack in James’ letter, but rather than address these in the following commentary, I feel led to simply tell you how I perceive Mama and Peter to be, based on my own firsthand knowledge.

I first came to know Peter over 12 years ago in Japan. I also met Dad and Mama at that time. I lived with Peter together in a little house situated across the street from the HCS. This was for a period of about two months, during which time Peter and I worked together on a number of projects and I was his constant companion and partner during that time period. I was there primarily because I had been a field shepherd and missionary and I was being considered for placement on the leadership team that was overseeing Japan at the time.

To put it bluntly, I was under scrutiny, as Peter was taking this opportunity to get to know me to see whether I should be given this leadership position. At the same time I also had opportunity to size up and get to know Peter and other members of WS who were around at the time. I remember clearly how impressed I was by Peter’s warmth, love, and downright friendliness, as well as that of others from WS who were there. I thought they were wonderful, caring people, and I still do to this day!

I met Mama and Dad during that time, but only briefly. But I’d like to add that I was in no way disappointed with either of them. By the way, I sat in a meeting with Dad and I can only say that my impression is that he was definitely “the real deal” and was every bit the prophet and king portrayed in the Letters, but with wonderful love and warmth.

Since that first meeting with Peter and spending those several weeks together with him, I’ve had opportunity to spend a great deal of time with him on various projects throughout the years. I have traveled with him, witnessed together with him, conferred and counseled with him on a wide variety of issues and topics. I’ve had many personal times of heart sharing, as well as friendly walks, talks, and many laughs and all that goes into what I consider to be one of the most meaningful and loving friendships that I have in this life.

I’ve seen Peter in action in witnessing to academics, filmmakers, reporters and the like. I’ve been with him in meetings with Fellow members, leaders of former member factions, friends and others. I attended the Laurel Fellowship with Peter and Gary in 1996, at which time I saw Peter apologize to many former Family members and then wash their feet. I have absolutely no doubt as to the sincerity of his apology, which was delivered on behalf of Mama and the Family, nor of the sincerity of his actions in washing the feet of those from whom he asked forgiveness.

So it is that I would say that I know Peter quite well, even though after each period of time that I would spend together with Peter, usually for a month or two out of each year for the past 12 years at Summit meetings and other events and projects, I would return to my field and my responsibilities as a Family shepherd.

Going back to that first meeting in Japan some 12 years ago, I was struck by Peter’s down-to-earth friendly manner. He simply had a lot of love and cared about people. I found him to be just a regular guy with his share of personal weaknesses, and yet I also saw a man who in spite of his weaknesses and personal shortcomings was being greatly used by the Lord. I think this was at least in part because of his honesty and humility in being willing to confess his own sins and shortcomings. Contrary to any effort to try to preserve his image and reputation, I saw him time and again confess his faults, ask for prayer, and use his own battles and lessons to help and encourage others.

I also saw firsthand his determination to go on for the Lord and to be what God could make him to be. Since that time, over the years I’ve found Peter to be just that-a regular guy who God has taken and made of him a vessel, a servant, a wise and humble leader. Peter is a man who genuinely loves people, loves to be with them, a real likeable and honest fellow. I have great respect for Peter because I’ve seen the Lord’s anointing upon him and I have respect for the station that God has given him. But because he is such a warm and loving man, I have been tempted at times to take him for granted. He is definitely not one who wears his authority in a way that would impose it upon others nor intimidate. I have never seen him use his position for his own purposes, neither misuse the power of his position in any way.

When reading the letter from James Penn attacking Mama and Peter and Family doctrine and policies, I couldn’t help but notice that this man is a very good writer. As I read, I considered his points of view. My heart went out to him as I tried to understand his position and where he was coming from. He seemed to be tormented and struggling. As I read and considered each point, I thought to myself, “Oh yes, I suppose there is some validity to what he is saying regarding past mistakes made in the Family and by the Family. In fact, I’m all too familiar with these and I wish such mistakes had never been made. I wish that no one had ever been hurt, and I certainly wish that these court cases had never taken place, and that our Homes had never been raided, nor our children taken from us for a time by force. I wish to God that none of these things had happened.” Concerning mistreatment and lack of love by some Family leadership, I personally feel heartbroken that such things ever happened, and I joined Peter in apologizing to many former members for such failures and mistakes by some Family leadership. I personally have had to apologize for my own mistakes along these lines. I’m very sorry for these.

But when the writer of this letter came out against Mama and Peter, he completely lost me. These are two people who I know personally and who I deeply love and admire for their love and other qualities, which are totally opposite of the descriptions in James’ letter. These two are my friends, my co-workers, and my shepherds. In fact, we are mated together forever! How’s that for a little “strange truth”!

The description of them in James’ letter is far from anything that I have ever seen or experienced in either Mama or Peter. In fact, it’s hard to believe that this letter is speaking of the same two people. This is where this fellow lost me.

It wasn’t on the past charges against the Family, although I don’t agree with him. But rather it was his assertions against Mama and Peter that caused me to reject what he was saying. This is also what exposed the real intent of his letter. From what I can tell, the real motive of this letter is to try to derail Family members from their faith and calling to serve the Lord in the Family. That’s a serious responsibility for this guy to take upon himself. It’s one thing to decide to leave the Family for whatever reason, but then to turn around and try to persuade others to leave their calling is taking on a lot. I wonder if he has counted the cost of this responsibility. I personally feel called by God to be in the Family. That calling hasn’t changed in 30 years. Should I now leave the Family because a former member is throwing “sticks and stones” at Mama and Peter? I just don’t buy it!

This is not the Peter that I know and have lived and worked with over the years, and who I have grown to deeply love and respect. It’s simply not the same person!

I’ve also had the pleasure of meeting Mama, visiting her at her Home for several weeks and spending a good amount of time in close conversation with her about many things. I’ve also met Mama at other times. Here again I must say that the descriptions of Mama given in James’ letter are as if they were written about an entirely different person.

Mama is the kind of person who is “what you see is what you get.” She lives the words that she preaches, and I have seen her to be a living sample of exactly what is portrayed in the GNs. If there is any one characteristic about Mama that has stood out to me, it’s her undying, almost relentless love for the Family and God’s sheep that drives her to lay down her life for others. I have not known her to in any way take power to herself or insist on having her own way. In fact, Mama goes to great lengths to counsel with others and assimilate their input. As a leader, she is also one who goes to great lengths to garner input from the grass roots. Contrary to what the letter says about Mama, I’ve never seen her seek power for herself, trying to control others.

Nearly a year ago I was removed from leadership as a CRO. I suppose that James would say it was because I wasn’t “on board” or had fallen from Mama and Peter’s graces and favor. That’s not the case. Although my demotion from a leadership position has been very difficult for me, I never doubted Mama and Peter’s love for me. I have had no reason to doubt! I testify that both Mama and Peter have been nothing but kind and loving in every way. They have followed up on me personally to encourage me to keep going for Jesus as a missionary. They have prayed for me, sent me prophecies that have strengthened me when I had no strength, and did all that they could to uphold me before the Lord. They have assured me of their love in spite of the mistakes and failures for which I was removed. For that I’m so very thankful. In fact, I’m very thankful for this Family and my place in it, and I’m especially thankful for Mama and Peter. I’m convinced that leadership of the Family is in the best of hands.

* * *

The Startling Truth!-I shan’t be fooled!

By Luke, WS

Today I heard some alarming news. Not only am I a cult member, but I have been informed that I am a member of a cult within a cult! I am no less than a double cultist. As you could imagine, I rushed to the mirror to see what manner of monster I had become.

“Look at you, you double cultist,” I sneered at my reflection. “How could you descend to such levels?”

My reflection stared back sullenly. This was indeed a bad day. And the news just kept getting worse!

Not only was I double cultist, but it seems everyone I lived with was one too. And worse than that, I read that two people I love and admire were no longer loveable and admirable, but they were mean, nasty types who craved power and wanted to manipulate me, and after using me as grist in the WS mill, they were going to twist me into a … wait for it. Drum roll! A PRETZEL!

This was diabolical chicanery at its highest! I was going to become a snack to be washed down with beer. Or maybe I was going to be served up as some new and wicked cocktail. A double cultist with a twist.

Eyes open, Luke. You don’t know whom to trust now! I stopped to consider my options. But how can I even do that? I am not only a double cultist, but I am apparently mindless as well, so how can I even consider if I have no mind to consider with? The situation was dire indeed. Aside from not having a mind, it seems that I also need to wake up and grow a brain.

I stared despairingly towards the kitchen. Was that a vapor trail I just saw? Perhaps I’ll put some white sugar cubes in the cupboard tonight and see if I see it again. I shook my head but stopped mid shake.

“Best be careful!” I cautioned myself. “If I am brainless and mindless, I’d better take care of whatever is up there, as from what I hear it must not be much!”

But back to the people I was referring to earlier. Gee, I thought they were nice. Boy, I must be dumb. I’ve only known Peter now off and on for about 20 years, and Mama personally for more than five. They must be really good at hiding all this nastiness that they’ve been accused of. What was that big word that was used? Pernicious! That’s worse than nasty. That’s really big-time mean and nasty! How do they hide it, I wonder? Seems every time I see them they’re smiling and kind. My goodness, they even laugh at my jokes. (That’s Christian graces at their highest.) And how did Mama fake those tears in her eyes when she was praying for those sick folks the other day? That must have really hurt, too, knowing how her eyes have been so painful for the last 15 years.

How come she’s so cheerful nearly all the time? Oh, I know! She must be cheerful because she is so happy she has hoodwinked us. Yes, that makes a lot of sense. Yet still she is so sincere it seems. This is really contradictory. I wonder why she’s so concerned about people in the Family to the point that she wants me and the others here to take a prayer vigil every day and pray for those who are sick or going through tough times? I know-it’s because she’s a control freak, and she’s trying to control everything so everyone won’t have sickness or be unhappy. Oh my, what a terrible motive. I don’t know how someone figured out that the control factor was in her blood though.

And as for Peter, well, if he is so greedy and craving power and might, why on Earth doesn’t he buy some better slippers to replace the ones his toes are popping out of? I mean, gee! And why would he have pubbed all that stuff about himself battling jealousy and almost having a breakdown over it. That seems really odd. Heck, if I were him, I would be tooting my horn about how good I was doing. Yeah, maybe I’d write a long letter to some non-existent people extolling my own righteousness and how I threw myself in front of buses, or perhaps it was Bigfoot, in order to have my point of view prevail.

Nevertheless, next time I see Mama with her mountain of tapes of reports, letters, pubs and prophecies that she has to listen to on high speed because if she listened on normal speed there wouldn’t be time in the day (listening of course because she cannot use her eyes to read all but the briefest note), I will no longer be fooled that she is laying down her time and life for the sheep to listen to their pleas, hear the state of the Family, prayerfully go over the pubs, or rejoicing over the Lord’s Words. No, she is cleverly (and as yet in ways I have failed to detect) laying down the sheep for her life. I will be watching closely.

And Peter too, with his 10,000 mail notes in his inbox (yes, even though he plows through them by the hundreds, still they come in by the thousands. Sort of David in reverse. Peter has answered his thousands, but the Family has written their tens of thousands!) and the myriad of meetings and Family business he has to attend to, and the admonishments to me and others, sometimes with tears in his eyes, that with any bright new idea we come up with to make the Family better, that we always need to put ourselves in the shoes of those who have it toughest in the Family, like the poor single mom who is having a struggle making ends meet, and see how our bright new idea is going to affect them, whether it’s going to make life harder or easier for them. No, I shan’t be fooled.

Also, I would not publish such stuff about Loving Jesus if I were king. I mean, we were this close from finally getting on the plate of system Christianity. Yes, after winning all those court cases and showing that we were not the nasty types we had been portrayed as, Peter and Mama published Loving Jesus of all things. I mean, we could have been accepted, even popular. All those strange-truth type of things left behind and just rosy days of System popularity lying ahead-and then they blow it all off! Gosh, you’d think if they were in it for power and money that they would have more smarts than that.

But no, they went ahead and took what the Bible said about us being the Bride of Christ and all that, and then, of all the crazy things, they took it to its logical conclusion, and presto-chango! Well, you know the rest, and I found myself with a whole new side of me that I frankly didn’t know before. I thought I was off to the bridegroom’s bachelor party but found myself at the altar instead. Shockeroo! But a bride is a bride is a bride. Not much I could do about that and after a while … Well …

My goodness, what a weird place they are turning the Family into. I mean, on top of it all, telling us that we should all hear from God ourselves is very odd. Imagine what that means. Ultimately they are trying to do themselves out of a job. Such diabolical deviousness is unparalleled! Do they want to retire after putting a lifetime of blood, sweat, tears and prayer into this movement or something? Apparently it must be very bad to allow such a degree of self-determination.

I am sure now that their insisting on me asking the Lord about everything has extremely sinister implications. I mean, what an insult to my intelligence to imply that I wouldn’t know better than God how to do things. It must be a part of that manipulating thing that when I ask them questions they often say to me to “go and ask the Lord” and then to go ahead with what He shows me. The real crazy thing, though, is that I see them asking Him questions and following His answers, even if contrary to their previously stated opinions.

And next time they send me a prophecy that they asked someone to get with some encouragement or guidance for me, I am going to be on guard. “Don’t cudgel me with that prophecy,” I’ll insist. “I know what you’re doing and I won’t have any more of that love and comfort stuff. No more torrents of the Lord’s Words for me. Why, you are just debasing the wonderful gift of prophecy by saying that the Lord can talk so volubly. The Lord wouldn’t talk like that to those of us He loved so much to die for. No siree. My eyes have been opened!”

And all those spirit helpers! I mean, who needs them? And worse yet, who would want them? Why would anyone in their right mind want spiritual beings dedicated to helping and guiding them? Nope, no more friendly ghosts to help in the spiritual warfare. I mean, who in God’s Earth would want spirits on their side to help fight the battles in the spirit?

No, by golly! No more bizarre new-wine laced stories and novels for me either. I mean, look how bizarre all those Heaven’s Library stories and books are. Stories about talking mice and turtles. I mean, that is enough to make Winnie the Pooh roll over in his grave. (Oh, I’m sorry, Pooh isn’t dead yet.) No, the System wouldn’t stand for animals talking in kiddie books, let alone ones with good morals. Furthermore, the only things in Christian cartoons that can talk now are vegetables. As for those novels about missionaries in China or people dedicating themselves to the service of mankind in other ways, or even just plain old adventure stories that somehow bring in the power of prayer and of God, why, bizarre is the only word I can think of, besides, perhaps, inspiring, faith building, recreational, enjoyable, … (perhaps this would make a good David Komic comic)!

And why on Earth are all these young people staying in the Family, and even here in WS, for crying out loud? Why don’t they want to just nod their heads every morning on the morning commute, but instead demand to prophesy; love listening to hours of GNs, and, in fact, get many of the prophecies contained therein; say "hail Jesus;" have received an interesting and diverse education, been exposed to different cultures and often converse freely in more than one language; lived in a style equivalent to the well-off in many countries in spite of living a life of faith; have sacrificed a good measure of personal freedom to spend hours clowning or doing some other type of entertainment for the needy, or even more, getting their hands dirty to help in humanitarian work; have mingled with all levels of society at large; sacrificially looked after other people's children; lived in an environment where they don’t have to worry about AIDS; heard from those in the next life, including MO, the best friendly ghost around; and have deep intimate relationships with the Creator of the universe. Gee, I wonder why?

But never fear, alert readers. I will no longer be walking about with eyes clouded to the truth. No, siree! I will not just be taking at face value the care and compassion with which Peter and Mama watch over the Family. Yes, their deeper motives of an unbridled passion for Jesus, their careful and prayerful love for each Family member, and their desire and conviction to fulfill the great commission to go into all the world and make disciples of all nations and to help the Family woo and win as many souls as possible into the Kingdom of Heaven will not go unnoticed, but will be gleefully exposed and shown up for what it really is!

* * *

My Years in the King and Queen’s House

By Amy (of Gabe), Mama’s Home

“How is it that My Word brings such great joy and uplifting to some, and to others it brings heaviness? Is it not the same water? Is it not the same truth? But in one it is received and in the other it is rejected. It is a battle of the heart and it is a battle of the mind.” (Prophecies on Doubts, ML #3041)

I must say I had to laugh at some of the things James Penn wove into his letter. If it were not such a serious attack on my Family and my life, it would be absolutely absurd! But the sad thing is, he is dead serious in what he feels and what he has presented to so many in this vicious attack. Why am I so surprised? Even Jesus said the time will come that some will kill us, thinking they do God service, so a little slander and lying shouldn’t come as such a shock to me.

I guess the reason it’s such a shock is that I remember James as my friend, as someone I used to fellowship with, live with, work with, and yes, love with. For all his talk of the horrible practices in our Family, he was perfectly happy and content during the years that I knew and lived with him. I don’t know what happened and I can’t judge and won’t, but I can say, I was in the same place at the same time as he was and saw the same things he did. We lived with Dad and Mama and Peter for many years together and I have to say that I certainly don’t review history as he does. It’s pretty amazing to me that he can turn around and stab in the back people he loved and knew and people who loved him dearly and who never failed to give him all that they could, in love and care and who were his very personal family at the time.

Maybe others have experienced this when friendships have ended. It’s amazing how love can turn to hate, and I will never understand how this happens, but it saddens me very deeply to have this attack on my Family spread to whoever will listen. I would encourage anyone who has heard his rendition of history to please keep your minds open. I’ve lived through 16 or 17 years of “history” with Dad, Mama and Peter, and I have a very different tale to tell. When I first came to live with the folks in 1982, I cooked Dad and Mama’s meals and had lots of sweet contact with them. How can people so cruel be so kind? They never ever failed to thank me, to hug me, and to ask me about myself personally for years and years. Did they do this because I was so “in there” and being so “good”?

Believe me, there were many, many times that I had my battles and that I was certainly no saint, but rather a weak human being, simply trying to do my best, but do I remember them ostracizing me for the times I was not “in there”? Of course not! What I recall was having dear friends in Peter, Mama, and yes, Dad. They cared for me as a member of their personal family, just as you would your flesh children. If your kids are bad or good, you love them unconditionally, and that is certainly the treatment I’ve received from the folks for all the years I’ve known them.

If your mom or dad had to correct you, it probably was never nice and you didn’t want it to happen, but they were your parents and loved you, and what they did, they did for your good. If Dad, Mama or Peter have had to correct anyone over the years, that is always the way I’ve seen them operate. They’ve had love and mercy over and over and over again. I should know. After helping in the kitchen for years, I became part of the teamwork of their Home. Do you think I didn’t hear from them the “inside scoop” of how they felt about people who had problems? Of course I did. And let me tell you, the mercy that Mama and Peter have had on people, consistently, is truly a reflection of the Lord’s mercy. I have learned so much about love and mercy and the care of the sheep through their sample.

What happens when someone in our Home has problems? What happens when someone isn’t “in there”? I can tell you, because I’ve experienced this for years now. It really offends me that James would say the folks don’t care about people, when I would say that one of their greatest strengths is their love for the sheep. Why on Earth would they sacrifice every day of their personal lives to serve others? Why would they spend countless hours in prayer and working on the Words for our Family if they were selfish and only wanted power and control? Why would they spend hours and hours of counseling and prayer in trying to help someone overcome their problems, often at the expense of time spent getting out the Word, if they weren’t trying to help people? Don’t you think they’d find some method that was a little more lucrative in order to have their “control and power”? What do they get in return for their laboring to help others? They are not lavish nor do they live in riches as so many accused Dad of doing. They have everything they need, but when you compare them to any head of any organization or company, they look like paupers.

If they wanted control of people, then they’d go about things completely differently, believe me. They certainly wouldn’t live with a bunch of people communally, sharing what they have with everyone and being a dear father and mother to their personal little flock. Why would they waste time trying to get control of people? What does control profit them? What do they manipulate our Family to do? Preach the Gospel? Do CTPs? Love one another? Good grief! Anyone with a brain can read the Letters and see that the constant overwhelming theme is to reach the lost, follow up on the sheep, get out the Words, care for the sheep, love people. Are Peter and Mama writing the Family and telling them they have to give them more money, more control, more what? Of course not! Letter after letter is encouraging people to use their own talents and gifts to do as much as they can for the Lord. They’re encouraging us over and over and over again to use our connection with the Lord to hear from Him and get His instructions for our own lives.

Where is the truth to these accusations raised against Mama and Peter? I live with them, I know them intimately-certainly much better than almost anybody does. I just can’t fathom such far-fetched stories and tales. And we’re accused of getting weird tales from our other-worldly friends? This letter from James is a great stab at historical fiction, well written, interesting, full of great details, but SO fictionalized and colored by the tainted views of the author. Yes, history did happen, but the fiction woven into it is really outlandish.

To say Dad manipulated the Family for his own purposes is just the wildest thing I’ve heard! Dad, whose every breath given was for others, for reaching the lost, for spreading the Word. James must have seen the hours Dad spent in giving of himself for the good of others, not for his own gain, nor for his own purposes. Where was James when Dad was praying for the lost and getting out the Word to encourage us in the Family to do the same? Go back and read the Letters. Was Dad trying to get more control over people? Look at how many Letters Dad wrote to try to get people to connect with the Lord, to be indigenous, to reach the lost, to go into all the world and preach the Gospel. Is his fruit an example of someone who was trying to keep control, or someone who was constantly trying to get us to look to the Lord and to do something for Jesus?

I really am disgusted at people who try to tear down others who are doing their best to do good. That’s what I don’t understand fully about those who leave the Family. If they go on in another branch of the Lord’s service, or if they get a job and do whatever they want to do, I don’t go maligning them or speaking badly about them. Why do they have to do so to us?

I see Mama and Peter every morning taking quiet time, I hear them praising the Lord, looking to Him in yieldedness to His will, seeking for His strength to do what they can to help me and the Family be all we can be for Jesus. Is this their crime? Is it a weirdness that they want to follow Jesus closely? Is it so strange that they would encourage all of us around them to do the same?

Now if I saw Mama and Peter doing some of the things James says they do, I too would be very upset. But the fact is, I am here, and I see Mama and Peter, I talk to them, I debate issues with them. Do they tell me to be quiet and give me a prophecy telling me that I should think like them? Of course not! I talk to them regularly about people’s needs, trials and victories, but I don’t hear them telling me to get prophecies to manipulate people’s lives. If this is in reality what they are like, why wouldn’t I be privy to this since I am so close to them? The only conclusion I can come to is: that’s not how they operate!

What I do hear them give is counsel on how to help people get their answers from the Lord. I do hear them say to seek the Lord about the most loving and best way to help someone. I do not hear them spending their time talking about people who have left our ranks, and railing on and on about them. That’s not what Mama and Peter are like, and if people don’t know that by now, they must not be reading the Letters.

The Letters are a reflection of the love Mama and Peter have for our dearest Love, Jesus. I truly see daily that they deeply love the Lord, and that is their motivation in life, to do all they can to love, help, and heal. Why are people whose purpose is the opposite of this so intent on hindering us in what we want to do? I love the Family. I love Mama and Peter more than I could ever express, because they’re my friends. We’ve been together for years and years-through good times, bad times, and all times. Their love for me has been unconditional, as was Dad’s. I just don’t get it. Why do people slander and libel them and us? Personally, I don’t want to spend any more time thinking about it. We’ve got a job to do and we’re going to keep on doing it, regardless of the fiery darts of persecution or smears from anyone. We’ve got too much to do to spend our precious time giving heed to these fables and tales.

One thing I’d like to mention also is the subject of pressure or manipulation to be “in there” doing the right thing. I’ll tell you-I feel pressured, I feel used-and do you know Who pressures me, Who uses me?-The Lord! Of course I feel pressure to live a Godly life, to live my life for others, to give as He has given to me. Jesus and His Holy Spirit manipulate me and my life. He tells me what to do. Imagine that?! That was my choice when I decided to live for Jesus. Did you get that? FOR Jesus? I don’t want to live for myself, I want to live for Jesus.

Now can I blame Mama and Peter if they would happen to tell me something that is in God’s Word and that is the truth, if it pressures me? Well, that would be the easy way out, to blame them for trying to make me do something I didn’t want to do. But the fact is, it’s the Lord that wants me to do something, not Peter, not Mama, not my mate, not my friends. The pressure I feel at times is His conviction in my heart to be the best I can for Him. Just because my friend gives me their opinion and it’s the same as what the Lord shows me, should I blame them for trying to run my life, to control it, to manipulate me?

Sometimes I don’t want to do what the Lord tells me to do, and I’m sorry about that, I’m not perfect. But I’ve never been judged by Mama, nor by Peter, nor by Dad for getting off track, and I’ve certainly not been manipulated, coerced, or forced by them to do anything. If you know me at all, you know how hard it is to force me to do something I don’t want to do or that I don’t personally feel is what the Lord wants me to do. I’m a very stubborn person and I even put up a fight with the Lord sometimes. But this has not changed the folks’ unconditional love for me, nor their respect for me, nor their trust in me. Yes, they’ve shot straight with me and told me what they felt, but they’ve done so as my friends, as those who love me and care about my soul, not as hirelings!

There have been times I’ve disagreed with them and even argued with them and vented my frustration about things, but they have never retaliated. They are some of the most open-minded people I know, who listen to not only me, but to everyone’s opinion that wants to share it with them. Why would they want to hear from you and give you an address to write them if they didn’t care about what you thought? They don’t only take counsel from those who agree with them. I certainly don’t always agree, and when I bring up the other side of a matter, I don’t get shot down. They may be human and have their weaknesses, but their strengths far, far outweigh those times when they may not be perfect. But I have to honestly say, those times are few and far between.

Look around you. Is the Family really a place where people have to do what they’re told even if they don’t want to? I think we should give our folks more credit than that. They have wonderful works for the Lord, and families and Homes that are really doing something for Jesus. Do you really think that is the fruit of people having to do what they’re told even if they don’t agree? I think there’s a lot more leeway in our Family to do what you have the faith for than in most businesses or jobs in the System. If you don’t get with the program at your job in the System, for the most part, you just lose your job. In the Family we have all sorts of individuality in serving the Lord. People are free to follow Him as their faith runs.

Who is forcing anyone to do what Mama and Peter want them to do? Lots of people have stepped out of the Family and are perfectly happy. Lots of people are in the Family and are perfectly happy. So what is the problem here? There are a lot of wonderful young people who are challenged and really doing something for the Lord. There are others who have left and we certainly are learning how to make things easier for them as well. Why would Mama and Peter make up some story telling our Family to show unconditional love to them if they didn’t mean it? Really. What good would it do them and why would they spend time on something like this unless they meant it and really loved folks?

Do you think it’s easy to be behind the scenes day after day publishing Letters? Do you think the hours and hours Mama spends listening to her tapes and hearing from the Family is an easy job? Do people even realize how little recreation Mama has, simply because she loves her work, she loves to hear what’s happening in the Family, she loves to ask the Lord for help for them, she loves to seek the Lord and find solutions for them. How much time do you think she spends on herself? Or Peter for that matter?

Why would he keep up his work if he didn’t feel it made a difference in this world for Jesus? Don’t you think he’d much rather be on some sunny isle drinking piña coladas, rather than working so hard to “manipulate and control” the Family so that he can have what?-His basic needs? Anyone who has a brain can see and tell that the folks put their time into truly helping the Family out of love for them, love for the lost, and love for our dearest and most precious Love, Jesus. This is truth.

Just today, I chanced upon a Letter during my personal Word time, and I think this challenge from Jesus is a challenging end to my rambling thoughts:

More Thoughts from the Lord on Doubts!

(Prophecy:) Be not buffeted about by the Enemy. It is the Enemy's tempestuous winds and foul breeze of doubts and stench of lies trying to cloud your mind, trying to besmirch the purity of My Word. As My Word says, I am not the Author of confusion, so know these troubles come from Satan. Therefore, raise up a standard, block out his lies with the windshield of My Holy Spirit. You can of yourself do nothing, but run to Me, your strong Tower, to shield you and keep you safe. Rest in Me, and I will overcome the Wicked One and quell his blustery lies that buffet you and trouble you. I will calm you and stay you through this time of stormy trial. (End of prophecy.)

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I Could Write a Book on All the Good!

By Gallio, CRO, EURCRO

Dear fellow Family brothers and sisters,

My name is Gallio and I have been in the Family for nearly 30 years. During that time I have seen many Family members come and go, from normal Home members to top leaders. I have read negative comments and accusations about the Family and Dad from many sources, both within and without the Family. I have lived and worked in many areas of the world. My jobs in the Family have ranged from mechanic, camp manager, driver, visiting shepherd, school teacher and overseer, teen home shepherd, area shepherd, and so on, to Continental officer, and then back down the line again, and up again, several times over.

During my time in the Family I have lived and worked under many shepherds, some very wise and loving, others not so. I have shepherded others and many have lived and worked under me-some happily, some not so happily. But through all of this, I would have to claim the verse that Paul expressed in the Epistles, "None of these things moved me."

Oh, I had my share of doubts, battles, discouragement, fear, worry, trials, and tests, but it was the Word that always pulled me through-generally a simple verse from our once-famous set card, or some other New Testament verse. You see, my allegiance was to Jesus-He was the One I wanted to follow. He was the One I was seeking so many years ago, and He was the One I followed right into the fold of David. I have no doubt that this is where I’m called to be. I've made my calling and election sure, as the scripture says, and it's here I will stay, by the grace of God, until the day comes that Jesus shows me to do otherwise.

The first MO Letter I ever read made absolutely no sense to me, as I was so high on drugs I could hardly see to read in the first place. But it was the Spirit that bore witness and I said to myself that whoever wrote these words sure knows the Lord. The next day I set out to find the source of those words and was miraculously led to the Family. Since that day, I have read, cherished, lived by, and embraced the Words of David, which I firmly believe are the Words of God's Endtime prophet.

My first step into the Family was based on a spiritual experience. Since then I have learned to follow the Spirit, through reading the Bible and the MO Letters, and have learned of the struggle between the old man and the new man. Pride has been my biggest enemy, and humility my friend, whose "wounds have been faithful" over the years. All that to say, that I am here by choice, by the conviction of the Spirit, because I believe that this is where I'm supposed to be, and not because I'm afraid to leave, or feel coerced to stay.

Now I have been saddened to read comments from a former member who degrades Dad's legacy and heritage with vengeful words that I would rather not repeat. To me they seem to be the words spoken from someone who has their eyes firmly fixed on the flesh, not the spirit, and who appears to be in the "gall of bitterness." Perhaps I'm being presumptuous, but I would like to claim to be a part of that legacy and heritage that is being dragged through the mud. All that I am today I owe to Jesus, the Words of David, and our Family. It greatly saddens me to hear someone make cheap of that heritage which I hold dear.

It has also saddened me to read of the unkind words spoken about Mama and Peter, two people who I love and respect, and recognize as some of God's anointed leaders in these Last Days. I only met Dad fleetingly in Japan once, so I can't speak with much authority as to what he was like on a daily basis. I have worked with Mama and Peter over the years, though, and have from time to time, visited and lived in their Home for weeks, and sometimes several months at a time.

Though certainly human, and far from perfect in the flesh, I find it hard to reconcile with the personal sample I have seen that they are guilty of, or even capable of tactics that, as one former member wrote, "control, manipulate, intimidate, bully, and belittle people." I played high school football and I know what it means to be controlled, manipulated, intimidated, bullied, and belittled. I attended university and joined a fraternity and I know what it means to be controlled, manipulated, intimidated, bullied, and belittled. I have worked at many jobs outside of the Family and know what it means to be controlled, manipulated, intimidated, bullied, and belittled by my boss and other workers. Believe me, never, even in the furthest stretch of my imagination, have I seen Mama and Peter employ such tactics.

There has been mention, too, that Mama and Peter exhibited less than admirable character during times of persecution. Here's an excerpt from a letter of a former member:

"In my years of closely working with Mo, Maria, and Peter, especially during the persecution of the early 1990's, I came to see them not as the loving, anointed leaders and shepherds of the end-time army of David, but rather as abusive, controlling, manipulative, self-centered, deceitful, and callous leaders who were willing to do just about anything to save their reputations and preserve their image.”

Well, I spent three months living and working with Peter in Paris just after the French raids in 1993. Our little team was struggling under extreme pressure, difficult physical conditions, and heavy spiritual battles, doing all we could to try to get our kids out of detention and stand up for what was right. Dad sent Peter into the thick of the battle, right to the front lines to do all he could to help the situation. In my opinion, Peter was anything but "self-centered, deceitful, and callous!"

The first few nights, Peter and I spent sleeping on the living room floor of a tiny Paris one-bedroom flat. Later we moved to another place where we could work better-and work we did-often through the day and until 3:00 a.m., writing rebuttals, praying, counseling, and reading legal transcripts. Peter was an integral part of our team and we were all fighting for our Family members in bonds. I find it contemptible that anyone would throw mud on Peter's motives or personal performance during that trying and crucial battle.

On numerous occasions I've sat in prayer and counsel with Peter about some problem situation, or even problem person. We've always had open and frank discussions and I've never felt I couldn't say what I wanted to say, or counter Peter's comments. Even though it was necessary to talk about the problem, it was never done in a condescending way. The conversation was always filled with prayer, and all thoughts were committed to the Lord for His guidance and counsel. I've lived and worked around Peter enough to have given ample opportunity for any "P.R." front to wear off and the real Peter to come through. I've never seen Peter wanting to do anything more than care for the sheep and do what was right, at any cost to himself or his reputation.

There's been mention, too, of Mama being a "control freak." I've thought a lot about this and tried to understand what this meant and what she does that would elicit such a conclusion as to her character. What came to mind was a recent series of leadership meetings, a few of which Mama attended. At the beginning of the meeting, there would be a little "organizational discussion" of who would sit where, what window would be opened, which light would be on, etc.-generally conducted by Mama. Now to me, the whole idea was to find the optimum arrangement in the room so all would be comfortable for the long and important meeting. This was all carried out in love, with the well being and concern of each meeting attendee in mind. I guess we could have all just worked it out ourselves, but it was nice to have Mama leading the way. Is this what a control freak is? (By the way, Mama hardly spoke in the meetings, allowing the delegates to have the floor-and most of the ideas were initiated by the delegates, not Mama.)

On other occasions I have had Mama give me very explicit guidelines for how to do something-generally a physical task such as to how to label a tape I made, or where to put the tape, or about the need to be quiet in the hallway. I guess you could say she was controlling the situation. Well, my grandmother was a little like that, and I had a friend once who wanted everything done a certain way, and so on. Are we talking about a "control freak" or a common personality trait? Are we talking about "manipulation" or doing all things in decency and order?

As for controlling me or my spirit or my service for the Lord, I have not experienced that personally from Mama, beyond her Godly calling and anointing, which I have freely chosen to follow. I have found Mama to be meek in spirit, like you would imagine Moses to have been. I have never felt intimidated in her presence. I have never felt uncomfortable about voicing my opinion to her. I have never felt from Mama a proud, haughty, or lifted-up spirit, as I have from other former Family leaders, no longer with us.

I have felt the authority of the Lord in Mama, for sure, and would have been disappointed if it had been absent. One usually does feel humble and small (or at least respectful) in the presence of royalty or dignitaries in any realm of life-unless you are an equal, of which I am not, or of an opposing spirit, of which I am not.

Now, I really had to laugh when I read that Mama and Peter control the Family in a negative way. Anyone who would say that never attended a Summit meeting! It takes an extremely humble, patient, loving, spirit-filled and anointed person to chair such meetings, which Peter has done successfully for years. I think I have attended about six Summit meetings so far, and in every one there have been many opposing opinions freely aired and discussed. Peter mostly chaired the meetings and did not dictate them. I think only Jesus and the Holy Spirit could control those meetings!

I could write a book on all the good that I've seen Mama and Peter do, how so many have benefited from their loving care, concern, and shepherding. They have personally been a strength and sample to me of humility and following the Lord at any cost. They have embraced the new day weapons and Loving Jesus revelation at the risk of losing their reputations and perhaps losing the whole Family. Why? Because they’re more concerned about following God than the opinions of men.

I doubt that I would have had the courage to introduce the newest revelations, realizing that it could wreak havoc throughout the Family and undo all the good that has been built up over the years. But having tasted of the New Wine myself, I see that it is good, needed, and truly from God. Mama and Peter are heroes to me-defenders of the faith in spite of the battles, willing to lose all for the cause of Christ.

Goodness, if they were so concerned about their reputation and controlling everything, and were truly self-serving and all that, then I doubt they would have even spoken a peep about the “Loving Jesus” revelation or anything like that! After all, they were already queen and king with a worldwide following, so why rock the boat?

If you ask me, God is in control and Mama and Peter are His humble and yielded servants. It doesn't take much study of Church history through the ages, or reading of the old traditional Bible stories such as Abraham and Isaac, Moses and the children of Israel, the battle of Jericho, the "eat My flesh and drink My blood" sermon, to see that God is pretty unconventional and generally goes against the grain of our natural reasoning. If the Family is to remain pure in Spirit, then you can bet that we will continue to receive instructions from Heaven that are unconventional, humbling, and different from the world. I don't think it's the Family that's gone "weird and wacky"-it's the World that's gone weird and wacky! Thank God for our safe havens of peace (Homes), even if we aren't perfect. Thank God for loving shepherds that you can trust and rely on, because you know they’re following God and not their own plans or program.

* * *

Their Unforgettable Love for the Japanese

By Sweetie, CRO, Japan

Everything I know and have experienced and have seen about Mama and Peter, and Dad before too, when I lived with them years ago, as well as on my visit to Mama and Peter’s Home several years ago, points to the fact that they are very loving, caring, and concerned shepherds who put us, their flock, before themselves in every way. Mama doesn’t try to control people! That’s the furthest thing from the truth! She is faithful to let you know what the Word says about any subject that’s being discussed, and she has real conviction towards the Lord and the Word, but she certainly doesn’t try to force people or control them or their actions!

During the times I spent personally talking with Mama, I was impressed at how she would sincerely ask me how I felt about certain issues and she would listen to my ideas about things. When I shared a trial about something that was happening or how something was done in the Family, she didn’t try to justify why it had to be done that way, but instead she would be eager to get any input from the field so she could better understand the situation. Of course, she would patiently answer my questions, but not in a “this is the only way it can be done and there’s no point in arguing or even thinking about anything else”-type of spirit. If anything, I found her more open to different ideas and ways to look at things than most Family members I’ve talked to.

Once when I visited, it was right at the time of the Austin accident, and I personally witnessed her grief over the death of the people in the accident and her love and concern for Jesse and the parents and brothers and sisters of those who went to be with the Lord. Those of us in their Home were called to get together to pray for the brethren in Austin and the Lord spoke that day and in the days to follow through quite a few channels. It was so, so beautiful to hear not only what the Lord said to the families and to dear Jesse who was battling so hard with condemnation, but to see Mama’s personal love and concern is something I’ll never forget. There’s no way anybody could tell me that Mama doesn’t love each person in the Family and that she is in this business for any other reason than because she loves the Lord and wants to obey Him and because she loves us and wants to help us!

When we would go for Sunday drives in the country around the HCS, Dad was always happy to enjoy the view and point things out to Techi and me and teach us about whatever he saw or whatever came to mind, or he’d ask me questions about the Japanese and their customs. But I remember Mama, always with her bag of papers that she and Peter would go over together whenever they had a chance. She was just trying to redeem the time, I guess, but she would hardly ever take a break because she wanted to keep up with all the work she had to do for us!

She would often ask about someone by name, someone that, of course, I knew well because I’d lived in Japan for so long, but I was always surprised to find out that she also knew them and their backgrounds very well-not because she’d ever met them, but because she read so much, and remembered it too!

She and Dad’s love for the Japanese is something I’ll never forget either! I know Dad was supposed to be security-minded, but if the Lord told him to witness to somebody he was sure to do it, or to tell us to do it if they didn’t speak English.

Dad and Mama both gave their lives for us in Japan. They knew they had to go to Japan in order to get a real taste of the field and to be able to learn about the people and be a help to us. Because it was so very, very cold the winter they came to Japan, Dad got very sick. He had been living in the hot Philippines for quite a while, so it was a big shock to his system to experience such cold and even snow, which was pretty unusual for Tokyo. Anyway, I remember after Dad got better he told us that even though at one point he was so sick he thought he was going to die, it would have been worth it because he loved the Japanese so much that he felt he had to come here to Japan even if it killed him. I loved Dad so much for that! I could see his sincerity in everything he said and did, and Mama and Peter are just the same! They don’t have any airs or pretences about them, no false fronts; their lives are whole-heartedly lived in simple service to the Lord.

They didn’t care that they lived in a small house with hardly even a yard, in the middle of uninspiring Tokyo, during a very cold winter in a typical Japanese house without very good insulation. They were just happy they could serve the Lord and help us! I felt so ashamed sometimes by comparison and resolved to never murmur again about my blessings when I saw how happy they were with whatever the Lord provided for them!

The last time I visited them it was the same as far as their physical surroundings. They weren’t living in a fancy place, in fact not even as nice a house as the kind I’ve been used to living in-but that really doesn’t matter to them at all! During that time Mama couldn’t use her eyes, but sometimes we would go for walks with her holding on to my arm, and we had such sweet fellowship. She hadn’t changed at all, even though now she was “in charge,” so to speak, since it was after Dad’s graduation. She wasn’t bossy or demanding or anything like that; she was just as caring and willing to listen and as open as ever.

I had many walks with Peter too, almost every other night for a while there, and he would often ask if I had any questions. So I was free to ask anything, including “Why this?”, and “What about that?” type of questions. He would answer in such a way that I could tell how much thought and prayer was put into each decision. Sometimes weeks of prayer went into decisions that he and Mama made, all because they wanted to be sure they got it right. Peter and Mama are so desperate to “get it right” because they don’t want to fail the Lord or us! They don’t take things lightly. They have a very serious responsibility and fear of the Lord about their position as leaders of the Family and I truly admire them for their utter dedication to the Lord and us.

When I read the recent accusations that Mama is a control freak and that she and Peter bully people into submission, I almost had to laugh! I can certainly testify that that isn’t true! Recently, just within the last few months in fact, I went through a major ordeal in my life (which would be a very long story if I got into all the details), but the end result was I got to the point that I thought I needed to leave my CRO job and the CM Family in order to do what I felt the Lord wanted me to do. (It involved helping my former mate who is a Fellow Member.) I wrote to Mama and Peter and shared my heart a number of times. I didn’t want to disappoint them or fail the Lord, but I was pretty convinced that I had to step out of the mainstream CM Family for a while.

If these accusations about Mama and Peter trying to control and bully us were true, then I imagine I should have expected them to write me a letter telling me how “out of it” I was, and ask me, “What in the world are you thinking?” and give me a “hurry up and get your hand back on the plough!” type of message. But did they do that? No, they didn’t! They took time to pray about my situation, and then very sweetly and meekly let me know what they felt was the best thing for me to do. But at the same time they told me they wanted me to have the faith for what I did and that I needed to be sure I had a peace about it.

They didn’t send me a bunch of prophecies telling me what to do in no uncertain terms; in fact, they didn’t send me any prophecies at all! I admired them for that, because I felt they didn’t want to send me prophecies (although I was pretty sure they got some), because they didn’t want me to have the burden of later feeling that I was disobeying the Lord if I chose to go against their suggestions and what the Lord showed them.

Instead they asked me to pray and also to share my heart with my teamworkers, whose love I felt very secure in, and who I know and trust dearly, and ask them to pray for me and hear from the Lord for me. I did that, and I am so very, very thankful that the Lord punched through in one very clear prophecy after another, answering the deepest questions in my heart, some of which I had never even voiced. I made the decision to stay as a result of those prophecies and what the Lord showed me personally.

I’m sure Mama and Peter were glad that I made the decision to stick with my job and keep fighting, but they never made me feel bad or that I would have been failing if I had chosen the other route. They didn’t try to control me-in fact they showed me a lot of love and understanding and made it very clear that the choice was mine.

One other thing I wanted to mention is about how Peter was during the time he visited Australia during the court case, when he had the meetings with the lawyers in Melbourne. I was very impressed then at how willing Peter was to admit times when the Family was wrong or made mistakes. I even remember arguing that I thought Peter should stand up more and tell the lawyers off because they were being too critical of the Family. But he told me clearly that we can’t be self-righteous and think that we’ve never made mistakes, because we have, but we’re learning from them and we’re changing when we see things that need to be changed as a Family.

* * *

They Live to Serve

By Jason, 29, CRO, Mexico

My name is Jason, and has been during my whole life in the Family (beginning when I was four when my mom, Seek, joined the Family with me and my two sisters in 1974). I’m now 29 years old, and believe I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world (Cedar), and the Lord has blessed us with six beautiful children-five boys and one girl to date! The Lord gave me my own little “basketball team”, ha! PTL!

I probably only know a small percentage of you personally, although through the stream of testimonies, articles, pics, etc., that get pubbed, I feel like I’ve gotten to know many of you, and pray for you often.

During my time growing up in the Family I was blessed to have experienced a childhood of excitement, seeing souls won and lives changed by the miracle-working power of the Lord’s love. We learned to abound and abase at times, but as a kid, I personally saw the Lord faithfully supply all our needs as our little missionary family, the Little Farmers as we were called, traveled and lived in 14 different countries by faith. This is the story of most of our Family SGAs who have grown up serving the Lord in the Family alongside their parents.

As a teenager I attended the Mexico TTC ‘86, which was a real milestone in my life, and was a time I look back on as having been when I made a solid personal decision to forsake all and give My life to the Lord. Following the TTC, I lived and served the Lord as a senior teen in a number of “teen homes” in Mexico, Brazil and the US.

Overall, one of my main ministries in the Family has always been witnessing, singing, and other outreach-type ministries. This has always been a real highlight in my life, and I am presently very excited seeing all the Lord is doing through the Activated program in the Family. I feel it’s getting us all back to the basics of what we joined, or have made a decision to stay in the Family for. TYJ!

Only about four-and-a-half years ago, right after Summit ‘96, my wife, Cedar, and I were asked if we would like to join the NACRO teamwork, which has been a wonderful and life-changing experience for both of us. As I mentioned before in a Zine interview, when the NACRO teamwork first invited us to join their team, I felt like, “I hope they know what they (the NACRO teamwork) are getting themselves into!”-Ha! But feeling Mama and Peter’s faith in us through this invitation really encouraged our hearts and gave us the faith that if we were offered the job, then the Lord could also give us the anointing and help that we needed to do it.

Of course, the road down “CRO lane,” so to speak, has not always been a “bed of roses,” and to be honest, there have been moments when we thought, “Enough is enough, we can’t do the job another day. We’ve got too many kids, we’re too young, and besides, neither of us can even type!”-Ha! But it has been at these times when we’ve come to the end of our rope and felt like we needed to step out of our shepherding responsibilities, and on a couple of occasions have even turned in our “resignations” to Mama and Peter, that we have felt such incredible and unconditional love from both of them, which has been such an encouragement and strength in helping us to hold on.

I guess this brings me to the reason that I wanted to write you, my dear co-workers, Family and friends. Recently I’ve been approached by other Family young people expressing their questions regarding letters that have been circulated recently via the Internet by former members, who in the name of “sharing their hearts,” have vented their personal doubts and criticisms of Mama and Peter and the Word the Lord has given us through them.

I guess when hearing such accusations from some of our detractors, it inevitably does catch our attention, especially when they come from names or people we know or have heard of, or who have served the Lord in the Family with us for many years. In some cases it has even been our dear friends and loved ones. The effects of some of our former members’ negative dissertations are also compounded a bit in situations where the sources may have been in positions of influence themselves while in the Family. In situations such as these, it can be our natural reaction to assume that there must be something to their accusations, as some have even lived with Mama and Peter, or in WS, which can understandably seem to give even greater credibility to their complaints.

I have been no exception when it has come to wondering where some of these things have come from, as I think is only natural for us to do at times. I guess, though, one of the indisputable truths that I haven’t been able to shake, and which has been sort of a landmark or point of reference in my life when the doubts and questions have flown overhead, is the “Word bound in shoe leather” that I have been blessed to see with my own eyes in regards to Mama’s and Peter’s samples.

I have my full share of weaknesses and shortcomings and can sometimes be quite an emotional Leo, but all my life the thing that has always had the biggest effect on me is when I felt someone went out of their way to show me they cared about me, and went beyond the call of duty, so to speak, to show me the Lord’s love. This has always had a profound effect on me, and is the reason I’m here today. Say what you like, these actions always spoke louder to me than words.

This is what I’d like to share with you about Mama and Peter. Sadly, recently some of our detractors have launched a direct attack on Mama’s and Peter’s characters, which has saddened me greatly. I’ve never lived in WS, but over the last eight years I feel that I have been blessed to be able to get to know Peter quite well, and more recently I met Mama, and I personally feel that their sample speaks for itself. I know that there are numerous things that stand out about Mama and Peter when you get to know them, but more than anything, the thing that has resonated in my heart long after the times I’ve been able to be around them has been their sacrificial love for the Lord and others. To me they truly live the verse, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

I would like to share a few specific examples of how their sample touched my life. As wonderful as it was for me to attend Summit ‘96, it was also a time of tremendous battles for me. Prior to the Summit, Cedar and I, on a couple of occasions, had begun taking steps to practice living the sexual side of the Law of Love, only to hit some pretty tough spots in this respect. We had largely stepped out into this new territory on our own with little counsel or shepherding due to our not seeking help and prayer as much as we should have. Anyhow, we were still pretty sensitive in these areas when arriving at the Summit, which made me quite closed to the idea of my wife and I sharing sexually during the Summit (not that we had a problem sharing with each other during the Summit or any other time for that matter, as is evidenced from our six kids, ha!). My fear of sharing was made worse (as always) when listening to the Enemy’s lies, as he would tell me that I was going to be looked down on for my battles, or that I was going to be pressured to share, even if I didn’t have the faith for it.

At first, even though Cedar and I weren’t sharing with others at the Summit, I was still going through huge trials-to where one day I privately went to Dust in tears, who besides being my shepherd at the time was also a dear friend, and still is-saying, “You’ve got to get me out of here, because I can’t make it, and I don’t want to fail my wife or the Lord.” It was that night that he told Peter that I had been going through these severe battles, after which he and Peter had evidently stopped and prayed for me. Peter and I then bumped into each other that night in the kitchen and Peter gave me a huge hug and held on to me and looked into my eyes and told me, “Don’t worry, you don’t have to do anything you don’t have the faith for.” He was so understanding and compassionate, I could really tell he understood what I was going through, and that just helped to blow all the Enemy’s lies and doubts right out of the water; it gave me the faith that I could make it, in spite of how weak I felt in this area.

Another incident which really struck me was when I saw Peter kneel and humbly ask all of us at Summit ‘96 to pray that he not even be tempted to get lifted up in pride before the first united meeting. He said, “I know that I can’t do it, and I can’t afford to let the Enemy in by getting lifted up in pride, because I know it’s got to be the Lord.” Seeing Peter’s humility and admission of weakness by acknowledging his need for the Lord’s help to all of us really made an impression on me that “this guy is for real!” It was exactly the opposite sample of what some of our recent detractors have claimed.

There were numerous occasions during the last two Summits as well where I saw Peter go out of his way to encourage and spend time with those attending even when it compromised his own health. I would see sometimes that he was noticeably exhausted from giving meeting after meeting, and personal time after personal time, and I could tell that he would have liked nothing better than to just crash in his room for a couple days and probably not talk to anybody, but he kept sweetly plugging along, smiling and spending time with people. It was the kind of situation where if he were in it for himself at all, he would have definitely gone about things very differently, but I could really see the Lord’s longsuffering and sacrificial love being manifested through his sample, and there was no doubt in my mind that he was there for the Lord and no other reason.

I can also remember about seven or eight years ago when I first met Peter at sort of a selah YA meeting in Washington, D.C. This was several years before the Charter, and to say the least, all of us young people were full of our subjects as far as the things we thought needed to change in the Family and in our personal Home situations. Nothing Peter said spoke to me as much as the way he listened to everything the young people had to say. You could definitely tell that he was there because he wanted to hear us out and valued the things we had to say. I could also see in him a desire to make the Family a place where we, as young people in the Family, could find a place of fulfillment serving the Lord.

This was evidenced on one occasion when he put the new tape “The Lion, the Dragon, and the Beast” on for us. None of us had heard it until that time, and since it was quite a masterpiece for its time in the Family, we all sat around in a circle silently absorbing the beautiful words and musical accompaniment. We all thought it was great, and sat listening in awe. Whereas, Peter, not understanding if we liked or disliked it since we were too involved in listening to comment on it, thought that maybe we were all disappointed in how it turned out. So he slipped out of our little circle and sat off to the side really going through it (as he later told us), wondering if maybe they had really screwed up with its production since none of us like it. Ha!

I can also remember the first time I met Peter, which was right before these meetings started. SGA David (of Shanti) and I were some of the first SGAs to arrive at this little house where we were going to have these meetings, as we had been asked if we could come a little earlier to help with organizing a schedule for the meeting days. When I heard that Peter was there, naturally I got quite nervous. After a few minutes of pace walking around the house wondering, “What am I doing here?” Peter came down the stairs and gave me a big hug and thanked me for coming early to help. He then prayed with me, and after the prayer said, “Boy, I’m sorry for praying for so long. Sometimes I get a little long winded, Lord help me!” This right away took a lot of the “spiritual” steam out of my balloon thinking I had to make a “good impression,” because he was so sweet and down to earth and so himself.

On another occasion at one of the Summits, Peter made a point to come up to Cedar and me and gave us some money so we could go eat out together since things had been pretty busy, and getting some time away together was just what we needed at the time. This really touched our hearts as there were tons of other people there and all kinds of things going on which Peter was involved with, but the fact that he had thought of us in this way was a little touch of the Lord’s love for us.

There was also one occasion more recently when Cedar and I had the blessing of being able to meet Mama. This was something that we did not anticipate, but was such a sweet surprise from the Lord. It was just a brief encounter and only lasted for an afternoon, but was nevertheless unforgettable for us. At first I didn’t know exactly how to act or what to say, but Mama was just one bundle of sweetness and love. Such a wonderful mother! One of the subjects we discussed around the table while we talked over dinner was some recent witnessing adventures she had had with some of her relatives which she was quite excited about, and how much she had enjoyed being able to spend time pouring out to them and showing them how much she loved and appreciated them.

Her simplicity also stood out to me, and I could tell that her clothes, although pretty, were very low on her priority list. And like that saying, “If you believe in something, you talk about it,” Mama was constantly talking about and praising the Lord. There was no doubt in my mind that she lived to love and serve Him. She was the kind of person that inspired you to want to love the Lord, too. She also constantly laughed at herself and her own funny ways, and constantly gave God the glory for any and everything good accomplished through her.

I can honestly attest that Mama and Peter live to serve the Family. That is their heartfelt prayer and desire, and if they lead by anything, it’s by the most dedicated sample you have ever seen in your life. They personally live what they preach, and then some. On one occasion when Cedar and I talked with Peter explaining that we were having a hard time keeping up with the demands of our CRO job (there have been several of these occasions-ha!), Peter told us that if we couldn’t keep up with the messages and correspondence, etc., or any of the other CRO-business-type stuff for that matter, if we would just love the Family, then we’d be doing the job the Lord wanted us to do.

Mama and Peter give their lives daily for all of us. When they stand before the Lord they want to hear, “Well done, thou good and faithful servants,” as we all do. They have to say “yes” to Jesus every day, just like us. I know the Devil must also really fight them and try to discourage them at times, but what keeps them going is their desire not to fail the Lord or the Family.

Having had these personal firsthand experiences, I cannot reconcile the grievances that some former members have recently leveled against Mama and Peter, other than to say that somewhere along the line they must have had a hard time receiving the things the Lord was doing in their lives. We all face battles as Christians in the service of our wonderful Husband and Savior, this goes for Christians universally, but we can’t rightfully blame our problems or personal crisis on someone else. “By their fruits ye shall know them,” and “every man shall give an account of himself before the Lord.”

I personally feel that not everyone is called to serve the Lord in the Family. It’s a specialized place of service that is not everybody’s cup of tea, and there are many Christians around the world who are fulfilling God’s calling in their lives in other capacities. The Family is not perfect, but our goal is to win the world for Jesus, no matter how crazy a bunch we may seem to the world sometimes, or how radical our doctrines may look.

All through the history of the Bible, God always chose the weak and foolish things-Moses was slow of speech, Jeremiah was young and incapable, Hosea married a harlot, Isaiah ran around naked, and Ezekiel ate dung, just to name a few examples. They also said of Jesus that He had a devil and was a wine bibber, a friend of publicans and sinners. As far as the Bible is concerned, there is ample precedence for the Lord doing things exactly the way that many scoffers have thought they shouldn’t be done. Jesus said to the scribes and the Pharisees that if the people didn’t cry out in praise to Him, the rocks would. If He could use rocks, He can surely use us.

I’m not a super writer, dear Family, although I’m ever so thankful for the wonderful heritage I’ve been given growing up in the Family, and thus wanted to share some of the things I’ve “seen and heard.” The one thing I do know is that if the Family were of man, it would come to naught, but if it be of God, no man can stand against it. If people want to knock a work that’s of God, that’s really up to them, but if they want to challenge God, they will quickly find that they’re barking up the wrong tree!

Even the fact that some claim that the fruits of the Family are good but the “tree” is bad does not make spiritual or physical sense. Without the Word, and faith in the Word, as a Christian movement, we’re dead. Some of our detractors would love nothing more than to see the Family disband and stop accomplishing our work for the Lord, because they feel it would justify their own lack of faith and obedience, but this should not make our calling in the Family unsure. It’s much easier to criticize the Family and its leadership than live the life of a fulltime disciple in it, as we all know it’s not a piece of cake, but we in the Family have voluntarily chosen this calling in our lives because we feel it’s the Lord’s will for us personally.

When we in the Family suffer attacks from even our own friends and loved ones, instead of looking at it as a setback, or a problem with the Family, we should take courage that “all those who live Godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution,” even when at times it comes from those close to us. The Bible says so! This story is as old as the hills, but when this “movie” plays in our own back yard, we sometimes falter and start to question. Lord help us! It all depends on your perspective.

A wife lovingly takes care of her husband out of love and devotion, not because of control. We serve the Lord in the Family not because we are “hoodwinked” by corrupt leaders, but because we love the Lord, and Mama and Peter’s lives have served as a loving example for us to follow. Jesus died for us, so in a sense we are His love slaves because He bought and paid for us. But by the same token, the sample that He gave us as our Lord and Master was to call us friends, and showed us by His sample that he that is greatest must be servant of all, as He stooped to wash His disciples’ feet.

Being a shepherd in the Family means being a servant of your brethren. Mama and Peter live to serve, and encourage us as Family leaders to do the same. So, I wholeheartedly say that if some former members term Peter and Mama’s love and sample of following the Lord as “control” and “manipulation,” then bring it on! We could use a lot more of that kind of manipulation. Ha! God help us as Christians to never get to the point where we look down on God’s anointed prophets. “Believe in the Lord your God, so shall ye be established. Believe in His prophets, so shall you prosper.” Remember, true love is filling the role God has for you to play-which also goes for supporting others in their roles for the Lord!

I love you, dear Family, and thank the Lord every day for the blessing and privilege of being part of this Family. “There is no greater calling then to be a child of God, and no greater honor than to be a voice for Him!”

* * *

My 10 to 1 Challenge!

By Matthew, Mama’s Home

Dear Family,

I love and respect and admire each of you so very much! I am so proud to be a member of this wonderful Family the Lord has given us and to call you my brothers and sisters.

After hearing about some of the things former members have been saying about Mama and Peter, I prayed and asked the Lord how I should respond to those things, seeing that I have lived, worked and closely interacted with Mama and Peter daily for the last seven years. He said rather than trying to personally respond to the accusations, I could instead give you a character assessment of Mama and Peter from my time of observing them while living with them, as well as my experiences in working with them.

I’d like to address first the contention that Mama and Peter are authoritative and control freaks. I’d like to start this by saying that I had a problem with authority since I started kindergarten at age five. I just didn’t like being controlled and always told what to do and how to be by authorities. This rebelliousness and disregard for authoritative rule continued throughout my school years and into my time in the military, university, and with various jobs, until I finally dropped out of the System to become a hippy at age 25, totally rejecting the System and its mores, values, and authority. I just didn’t see truth, fairness and honesty behind it all. Thank the Lord that eventually He gave me the honor of joining this great Endtime movement!

Even in the Family I had a lot of problems with authoritative leaders who pushed their own desires and programs. Sadly, I was that way myself at times when I was a leader. I know that the Lord has let me look back on the times I was authoritative so that I wouldn’t get self-righteous about the authoritative leaders I was under at times. I’m truly sorry if I was that way with any of you. Please forgive me.

I don’t hold any exclusivity on rejecting authoritative rule by unloving and totally off-the-Godly-path leaders. This is evidenced by the many Family members that dropped out of the ungodly System to become hippies and eventually Family members just as I did. My point in sharing the above is to show that I simply have never been able to bring myself to submit to ungodly authority, no matter who it was, in or out of the Family, even when there were dire repercussions.

Okay, have you ever felt you were most definitely right about some spiritual principle, or the way you judged a situation, until your shepherds or leaders shared what the Lord had shown them, and you marveled at the wisdom of God?-At just how much greater the Lord’s love and wisdom was, and just how wrong you could be in your own spirit? I’ve personally experienced this power of God’s wisdom many times over the years of working directly with Mama and Peter, not to mention the many times that I’ve seen this wisdom and love clarify spiritual principles through the GNs and expose any wrong views of mine, as I’m sure all of you have.

It is that authority that I respect and submit to in Mama and Peter-the Spirit of God!

In all the time I have worked intimately with Mama and Peter, I have never felt they were trying to control things through prophecy or any other way for that matter. They are so prayerful that I know it would astound you, as it has and continues to astound me. They simply do not make hasty, un-prayed-about decisions, but look at all sides, as there is simply too much at stake, which they have lovingly pointed out to me when I have made hasty, un-prayed-about decisions.

They really do want the Lord to control things. They are well aware that they do not have the wisdom and answers or know what to do unless they ask the Lord. They are human, like us, and need the Lord just as much and a lot more because of the awesome responsibility they carry, which they take extremely seriously.

Even though the most important thing to Mama is that we are prayerful and ask the Lord everything, she never gets upset or critical when we are not prayerful enough or don’t seek the Lord on some matters and consequently make mistakes because of it. But with infinite patience, she continues to encourage us to be more prayerful and seek the Lord about everything. I have never felt from Mama the spirit of “Come on, Matthew, can’t you get it through your thick head?!” I can say the same for Peter.

In the seven years that I have worked with Peter directly and almost daily, he has never made me feel that I am being forced to submit to his authority or viewpoint. I have never felt that he’s tried to control me through any means. And at times I’m sure it was tough for him not to be authoritative, as I sure needed controlling sometimes.

Peter is the most easygoing guy, who doesn’t get rattled or angry. He has a lot of faith to just let things flow until the Lord shows exactly what to do. He is never in a rushed or impatient spirit. Maybe being fellow Taureans helps us get along so well, but I’m sure it has a lot more to do with Peter’s ability to love people and accept them the way they are. He doesn’t get bothered if things don’t go just right or even the way he wanted or had hoped, but he just adapts to the way things are and prays about what to do or how to handle the situation in light of the way things are. He’s a realist and accepts things the way they are and doesn’t try to make it look differently.

Another thing I really like about him is he always tries to put himself in the other person’s place and follow things through to their conclusion to see how they will play out in reality on the other end. In other words, he tries to see how what we’re discussing or planning will affect others. He wants things to be realistic and for everyone to get a fair deal.

He always seeks others’ advice and counsel and listens to their ideas and what they get from the Lord. Both Mama and Peter trust the Lord and have believing faith. They don’t get worried that things are going to fall apart. They trust that the Lord is totally in control and that He won’t let things happen that will sink the ship. They both continue to trust us, including all of you, that because we love the Lord and are seeking His will and plan, that things will operate just the way the Lord intended, or that the Lord will correct us and teach us how to proceed if we do things wrong.

You’ll probably find this next statement hard to believe, but since it’s my testimony, you’ll have to believe it or call me a liar, as Dad said, ha! In all the years I’ve been with Peter, living, working, traveling, relaxing or whatever, I can never remember him putting me through a trial or battle about anything he said or did. Isn’t that amazing? So either I suffer from Alzheimer’s disease or he’s just really a nice guy. And on top of it, to me he is one of the meekest, kindest, most unassuming and understanding men I’ve ever known, and a great friend. And he’s got a great sense of humor, as does Mama. They are most always smiling and laughing and telling funny stories or jokes, often about the funny things that happen in their marriage and their lives. They’re fun to be around.

I could say the same and more for Mama, except that her attention to detail and thoroughness has caused me a few trials over the years-no fault of hers, all mine! (Maybe this is where the accusation of “control freak” comes from, ha!) Mama is meek, kind, and unassuming, the most understanding and wisest woman I’ve known.

In all these years of working with Mama, she has always given the benefit of the doubt to the accused. Mama is the epitome of the belief that you are innocent until proven guilty. And even when someone is proven guilty, the Lord will show her why the person thought the way they did, which caused them to do the wrong thing, and she will then extend mercy and understanding. I know, as it has happened several times with me. If Mama and Peter supposedly “shoot their wounded and dump them overboard,” I would have been gone long ago and wouldn’t be writing this to you.

I have never known Mama or Peter to hold mistakes or sins against people-and to believe that they would fire or kick people out for the same is way wrong! That to me is as far from the truth as you can get. They have infinite patience with everyone in the Family, because they love and respect and admire each of us so much. We are truly their children, and just as the Lord always forgives us and takes us back into His arms, so do Mama and Peter.

It’s been nothing but pure pleasure and a continual learning experience to live and work with Mama and Peter, and you have the exact same Mama and Peter in the GNs; they believe and live what they write. Their characters and attitudes are exactly what you read in the Letters. They are a king and queen with great integrity. “The just man [woman] walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.” We certainly are blessed.

Mama and Peter’s generosity is almost beyond belief. They give of their time, their strength, and use the Family’s tithe money to help each one of you. Mama will stop her pubs or other work to spend hours or days of her time to help someone in need of shepherding and love. I have experienced this love and shepherding firsthand, as you’ve read in ML #2975, “Lessons of Love.” So I know from very personal experience just how loving Mama is! Also she wasn’t hesitant to share with you in that GN her wrong attitudes and mistakes.

Not only we in WS, but a great many of you have received personal letters and prophecies from Mama, which shows just how much she loves us all and the importance she places on each one of us.

Peter is very much the same. He always shares his mistakes, wrong perceptions, etc., and asks for prayer and even correction. He is very open to being wrong if he hasn’t gotten a direct revelation, and even after he has heard from the Lord, he still seeks others’ counsel. He and Mama counsel continually with others and do not send out dictums or give orders. They ask what others think and how they feel something should be done, and are happy when others can pray and get the answers from the Lord and take care of things. They have delegated a great deal of their authority to others and continue to do so.

Peter has made grueling and demanding trips to visit you in all parts of the world, from which I have seen him return home bone-tired after having held meeting after meeting and personally standing on his feet for hours afterward to hug and encourage every single person he met. So to me, for someone to say they saw Mama and Peter not as shepherds who gave their lives for the sheep, but as those who hoodwinked the sheep into laying down their lives for the shepherds is totally beyond belief. Get out of town! It’s simply not true. Not even one time have I ever seen a selfish hireling spirit in Mama and Peter. They would give their lives for any one of us, and I see them do so daily.

I’m sorry if I’m saying things that are obvious to you from knowing Mama and Peter through the GNs, but I feel I need to give my personal, firsthand experiences with Mama and Peter to answer those who are attempting to assassinate their character. Dad said there is nothing more powerful than a personal testimony, and since I have lived with Mama and Peter 24 hours a day for a long time now, I just can’t hold back from validating their true character as has been pointed out in the GNs over the years.

I’ve seen Mama and Peter very willing to take responsibility for their mistakes and I’ve even seen them willing to take responsibility for my wrong actions. They’ve apologized for mistakes I’ve made as though they were their own.-A true sign of love and strong character to me.

I have never heard Mama and Peter speak disparagingly of people, in or out of the Family-even those that have debased and slandered them. They speak well of all men and have great forgiveness and understanding for those that wrong or misuse them.

As far as giving people self-determination, they are and have always been for it during the time that I have worked with them. I’ve never seen them plot or scheme to have control over people’s lives. Why would they have written the Charter if that were their desire? They wrote the Charter because you told them that you wanted less control from leaders and shepherds and to be able to chart your own course and go according to your own faith. I worked on the Charter with Peter and Gary, and Peter very much crafted it to give every Family member the right to self-determination and the right to operate their Home in counsel with the other members of the Home as the Lord led them. I believe that is the fruit that has come from adopting the Love Charter in the Family. Peter and Mama are not telling people how to run their Homes; in fact, they don’t even tell the CROs how to run their own Homes or offices or Service Homes. They tell them and all of us to pray and hear from the Lord and follow. That’s what Mama and Peter have been preaching to us until they are blue in the face!

I could go on and on, and time would fail me to tell you of the many wonderful qualities of our king and queen. But, hey, you already know them.

I’ll give anyone 10 to 1 that they can’t find a more loving, thoughtful, giving, understanding and wise couple in this world.

And Dad: Well, he’s still my hero, how about you? If he hadn’t a been ’er, who’d a been ’er?

* * *

The Heart of a King!

By Elliot, WS

My name is Elliot, formerly Shemariah Books, and I joined the Family in 1970. Before joining, I had graduated from university and was an accountant for a large C.P.A. firm in the U.S. known as Ernst and Ernst and now known as Ernst and Young, one of the largest C.P.A. firms in the United States. After joining the Family, I began keeping books in 1971 at TSC. I worked at the Office of the Americas in Texas in 1973, at the London International Office in 1974-75, for the Northern European and then Southern European Prime Ministry Offices in 1975-77, and for WS since 1978.

Ever since getting saved during my last year of college I wanted to serve the Lord, and after joining the Family and several years of witnessing and litnessing even while doing office work for the Family, the Lord called me to full time service using my talents behind the scenes.

I know what it’s like to live under an oppressive leader. During the early years, I spent much time living under Jethro’s leadership, and I truly know what it is to be oppressed in the spirit by a carnal-minded “hireling,” so to speak. In 1976 I began living with Peter and his wife Damaris [now called Abi] and their family, and I lived with them with Peter as my shepherd until he went to Mama and Peter’s house in 1979. Peter has been the overseer of my ministry since that time, so I have had constant monthly communication with him since 1979. I’ve met Mama on several occasions and lived with her for a brief period of about one month in 1982, and have visited several times since then.

I also lived with James Penn (Phil) for about 10 years, roughly from about 1985 through 1994. I know the difference between Peter and James, and the kinds of people they are.

Never in my 24 years of close personal contact with Peter did he show himself to be any of what I’ve read James describe in his letter. There was only one time, in 1976, before Peter went to Dad and Mama’s house, that he yelled at me out for getting in an argument with my wife while we were out witnessing and becoming a bad sample to the sheep. And through the years he has apologized to me for getting so upset and yelling and told me he was sorry. Peter is in no sense of the term oppressive, closed-minded, or a person who treats people badly. He is, in fact, the exact opposite of these terms, and in my 24 years of knowing Peter personally, I can’t think of a more loving, concerned shepherd who listens to people and not only listens, but changes his opinion and adjusts his attitude after listening.

Earlier this year I was at a meeting with Mama and Peter and several members and shepherds of WS Homes. At the beginning of that meeting, Peter outlined the four or five points he’d like to discuss during that important meeting, and asked if we could all try to stick to these points as our time was limited, the number of days we were meeting was limited, and we needed to try to cover as much as possible before it was time for us to return to our Homes.

Shortly after making this request, one person at the meeting raised his hand and brought up a point that he felt was important but which was not on the agenda. Peter tried to answer that point and move on. But the person was not satisfied and raised his hand and brought up the point again. Peter tried to consider what the person was saying, we all discussed it briefly, then we tried to move on to the main agenda points. This person raised his hand a 3^rd, a 4^th time, and then after about the 5^th time of insisting that we cover his point in more depth, I myself was pretty frustrated that we couldn’t move on to our very important agenda points, so I raised my hand and requested that we shelf that topic and move on. Peter responded to me that, no, this was an important point and we needed to discuss it.

Peter listened to this person’s point in full and completely changed his mind and our agenda for the meeting to let this person air his point of view, and in fact, the point became a cornerstone of some of the changes in store for WS in the era of action. Rather than squelch the person, Peter in fact allowed his own mind to be changed as to what should be discussed during this important meeting, and dropped his own pre-prayed-about agenda to accommodate another person’s point of view. This is the Peter I know and the one who is the shepherd and king of our Family.

At another meeting I was at, there were representatives from NACRO, EURCRO and SACRO, and we were discussing administrational changes that would affect all the CRO areas of the world. At the beginning of this meeting Peter cautioned us all to be careful in our comments, suggestions, and ideas, because we didn’t have representatives from ASCRO and PACRO there, and that we needed to be sensitive to the concerns of these areas too.

By the end of that meeting we came to some tentative conclusions, and I remember Peter saying, “I dare say if CRO representatives from PACRO and ASCRO were here, we would have come to different conclusions.” The conclusions we came to were not final, this was a preliminary meeting and this meeting was going to be followed up by subsequent meetings covering the same point but including representatives from all areas of the world. But what Peter was trying to get through to us was that our conclusions were biased because they did not include points of view from these other areas.

That’s the way Peter is. He is anointed to be unselfish and to look at other people’s points of view, and he is keenly aware of the fact that in our own selfish, carnal minds we naturally represent ourselves, often not considering others’ points of view. He has isolated this as a pitfall of human nature and is keenly aware of its false leadings, and he tries his best to get the rest of us to see this so that we will be more open-minded representatives of all facets of our Family.

This is one thing I came to see very clearly during these meetings. Mama and Peter told us they wanted to turn more responsibility over to us and to others, but their biggest concern was whether we were mature enough to make decisions that didn’t represent what we wanted to do or the way we saw things, but rather were decisions that we prayed about and had gotten the Lord’s unbiased, unselfish mind about that included the needs of everyone.

He gave the examples of us shooting off the top of our heads “cheap ideas.” He told us that when he did the business for Dad, he could never shoot off cheap ideas. He had to pray about all of his business suggestions, write up a complete, prayed-about report to Dad, and then submit it to Dad. He cautioned us against making unprayed-about, biased decisions that didn’t include the points of view of all areas of the Family.

I remember his words, they were: “We are a government, and as such we have to consider the needs of our minorities!” His comment had nothing to do with nationality, but everything to do with remembering all the constituents in our government. He went on to explain that if we were going to propose something, that it was our responsibility to be sure that we considered how our idea would affect all aspects of the Family.

He said that, for example, let’s say we wanted to get out a new book, but we didn’t have enough funds from the tithes to produce it, and we shoot off the top of our head “Hey, we can sell this book for $5 to each Home and they’d all be eager to get one and that would pay for it.” “Well,” he said, “I dare say that the Homes in Russia couldn’t afford it and just wouldn’t be able to get one.” He said this as an example of how we need to consider the Homes in Russia when coming up with ideas. We need to realize they are poor Homes, they usually have no support from their field, they live in dire situations, and when throwing out ideas we need to consider their particular situation. He said it didn’t mean we couldn’t do certain things just because they weren’t conducive for some minority or area or part of the Family, but that we needed to consider the minorities before throwing out ideas. Cheap, unprayed-about, biased ideas were just that: cheap, unprayed-about, and biased.

The same went for single parents, married couples, SGAs, FGAs, children, adults, teens, all the various facets and faces of the Family, the various strata shuffled a hundred different ways. If we were to be in responsible positions, it was our responsibility to consider all of this before making decisions. That was our responsibility as representatives of the Family. And this was his and Mama’s main concern in turning over responsibility and authority to others: Were those people really going to be open-minded, concerned individuals who took into serious consideration the needs of all strata of the Family?

From those meetings I left with this as the biggest challenge to my own personal spiritual growth: Am I really making unbiased decisions? Am I really considering the needs of others before my own? What kind of decisions am I making? Am I really making the kind of unbiased, thoroughly prayed through decisions the Lord wants me to make?

This, my dear Family, is the Peter that is your king and the shepherd of the Family.-And Mama is the same, in fact more so. I do not know another person instead of Peter that I would rather entrust the business and administration and finances of the Family to. Peter is unselfish, open-minded, and has the concerns of the minorities as well as the overall vision of all the Family at heart. He has sacrificed his own personal concerns and laid his life on the altar in order to be what the Lord wants him to be. I am so desperately thankful to the Lord for giving us someone who was willing to sacrifice his desires for us. I have seen Peter change from those early days of 1976 and sacrifice to the Lord his own desires and needs and points of view, in order to grow and become the kind of person the Lord wanted him to be. I have always said to others I know that I do not know another person that has changed in his personal views as much as Peter.

On the other hand, I lived with James for approximately ten years without a break-ten consecutive years. It’s amazing to me that people like Priebe and James (James Penn) put themselves out to others as if they were top leaders and shepherds in WS. James was anything but a leader. He lived in my Home at that time, and while being an intelligent, thinking person, he was at the same time rather carnal-minded, never desiring or getting enough Word time, always having his head buried in the newspapers and worldly business, and constantly having to have his socks pulled up to get back on track with the Lord.

In fact, you can read about James yourself in “On Guard” (ML #1377), where Dad pinpointed his carnal nature years ago for the bad influence he was in dragging Peter away from the way the Lord wanted Peter to be.

James had a talent, and that was literature, history, and the adept manipulation of words to make a point. He perfected the use of metaphors, was able to explain something succinctly, and give word pictures to enhance his point. When James was turned towards the Pillar and doing his best to follow the Lord, the Lord used this talent and the Lord’s Spirit came through in his writings. But James has now turned away from the Pillar. He still has the same talents. He still has the ability to use metaphors and word pictures to enhance his speech. But in my opinion he no longer has the Lord’s Spirit.

He wields the words of his mind adeptly, but skill with words that don’t contain the truth is not skill at all, just folly. He is joined to his own mind. Let him alone.

* * *

Open Letter from a Young Family Missionary

By Sam, 26, CRO, Brazil

To Whom It May Concern:

My name is Samuel, I’m 26 years of age, and I was born and raised in the Family. I grew up on the mission field of South America. I’ve been an active witnesser my whole life and have lived in and traveled through practically every South American country by land and air. I’ve visited over 100 cities in my career as a missionary, engaging in a diversity of ministries and outreach methods such as personal evangelism, youth outreach, disaster relief missions, distribution of food and aid to the poor, distribution of Gospel material, singing and performing on TV in six or more countries, giving live interviews over both the radio and TV. I’ve pioneered new cities and helped set up works, giving seminars to young and old, leading church services, rallying youth groups to get on fire for the Lord, leading and participating in countless youth Bible camps, training and helping to raise up new leadership, etc.

At present I live in Sao Paulo, Brazil, and am working with a team of people to set up a follow up structure and base for young people like myself to bring those we have met and led to the Lord to a greater understanding and knowledge of the Word via weekly Bible classes, yearly national retreats, and monthly three-day seminars. I work with about 40 other young people who also have an undying desire to make this dream a reality-that of truly winning the world to Jesus before His second coming. Our goal and greatest desire in life is to be the best of the best for Jesus, and do with all our might that which He has commissioned us through His Word when He said, “Go ye into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature.”

I state with great pride and conviction that it is because of the faithfulness of dear Dad and Mama and Peter to give the Words of Life that they’ve received over the years for us, that I’ve had the strength and faith to be a missionary. Every new Letter that comes out is for me not only a refreshing cold drink of water to a thirsty soul, but also a lifesaver and rock upon which to stand. I’ve seen the Lord’s hand work time and time again as a result of implementing the rich and valuable counsel that He pours out without measure. I’ve seen lives transformed, including my own, as a result of drinking in and believing and putting into practice the truths that He’s given us.

I’ve seen His blessings being poured out abundantly both materially and spiritually with gifts such as greater faith, more love, overwhelming happiness and indescribable peace in my own life and in the life of others as a result of reading and absorbing His Words of prophecy. I’ve lived and seen and experienced firsthand what it’s like to practice using the gift of prophecy and hearing from the Lord and those in the spirit world; and I’ve witnessed the way He speaks with such accuracy and love that heals hearts and fixes critical situations and brings back to life the hearts of those who’ve been discouraged and lacking hope and understanding. I’ve experienced amazing manifestations of the Holy Ghost and the Lord’s power through using the gifts of loving and praising Him, and hearing from Him with others.

There have been times in which I’ve been tempted to give up my call as a missionary, but because Mama and Peter have always taught us to keep our eyes on the Lord and go to Him for our strength and help in time of trouble, and have passed on to us countless words of counsel which the Lord has given the Family to stand on in difficult times, He has always pulled me through and given me renewed vision and inspiration to continue. In my teen years I was tempted several times to leave the Family and get a higher education, but I’m so thankful that I didn’t quit and give up my crown. Honestly, nothing or no one will ever convince me that the Family and our way of life is not the Lord’s highest place of service for me as a missionary.

The reason I’m writing this open letter is because recently the city in which I live was unfortunately a target of malice via an e-mail letter sent to several friends of mine from a former member named James Penn, who is viciously attacking and attempting to pull down and step on everything that I believe and stand for. I’m a pretty easygoing person, and my nature is usually to roll with the punches and not let someone else’s bitterness or hate disturb me or cause me to get upset. But when this fellow came out with such hateful accusations and lies against the people who I most admire and respect on the face of the Earth, I said to myself, “No, I won’t keep quiet this time!”

The thing that gets me most upset is that in his struggle to sound believable, he’s basically trying to face all 10,000 Family members and tell us that we’ve been deceived all along and we are victims of oppression. I ask myself, who the hell does he think he is to stand in front of all of us and basically tell us that we’re stupid idiots?! I feel like telling him the same thing that the preacher told those two old ladies who came to criticize him after his sermon. He looked at them and said, “Ladies, the world has heard about me-who the hell has ever heard about you?” He claims to have had some sort of “red telephone” relationship with Mama and Peter, and because he’s lived with them for many years, he seems to think that, of course, his story will be believed by all.

Well, it all comes down to the simple decision of who you’re going to believe. Though I’ve never lived with Mama and Peter, I’ve had the opportunity to meet both of them, and I want to tell you that they are the kindest and most understanding and humble people that I have ever met. They are truly a man and woman of God, and their love for Jesus and the Family is indisputable.

What truly impressed me about Mama is that she is so kind and humble and friendly, a special light shines in her eyes. She has such a look of love and understanding. I had the opportunity to go out for a walk with her, and she held me by the arm the whole time as I led her along, and we talked and laughed and enjoyed such a wonderful time of conversation. Along the way she would stop and exchange some sweet words with the people we would pass and give them a salvation tract. She showed such genuine interest and concern and love not only for me, but for all those she would cross paths with.

She is so natural and spontaneous in the way she asks the Lord about everything, you truly feel that His loving presence is right there with you. As we went, we would ask the Lord for a word of direction and encouragement, and I was the one who got the guidance from the Lord. She’s so obviously the opposite of everything James says she is.

The first time I met Peter was at a leadership meeting in 1996, which several of us young people from around the world were invited to attend. In these meetings, we, the young people, were the guests of honor, and both Peter and Gary and the CROs were so humbly and genuinely interested to hear our viewpoints about the Family structure, modes of operation, and anything we had to say about any subject. They were so kind and understanding, and I’ll tell you, some of us, including me, were quite honest and straightforward with our questions and with the things that we didn’t understand.

If what James Penn says is true-that no one has the right to express anything that they don’t agree with or have questions about-there wouldn’t be any of us left standing! Because let me tell you, the Family is full of people with convictions, and to prove it, just visit a Home or look around your Home and tell me if you don’t live with a batch of opinionated people. Will they let you get away with anything without telling you the truth? It takes people with personality and opinions to dedicate their lives to the Lord’s service. The Family members that I know are full of conviction and are veterans in leading people to the truth, so to think that someone would actually go as far as insinuating that they don’t know right from wrong is absolutely outrageous!

I had a chance to talk with Peter several times while at these meetings, and I remember telling him that I was quite worried and concerned about what would come out of these meetings, as the focus was on passing on leadership training to us young people. I told him that I was worried about what it would be like when some of these young people began taking places of leadership within the Family, as many of us were so outspoken, self-righteous, difficult to get along with, etc. And what he told me, I will never forget.

He said, “Sam, the Lord is just looking for people who are dedicated and willing to do anything that it takes to reach the world with His love. He’s looking for anyone who is willing to go through His school of humility and learn lessons of love. Leadership is a role that few people are willing to take on, because it requires forsaking all, learning to love and care for people instead of yourself. So the Lord is seeking for willing hearts to forsake all to help save others.” Peter is someone who you look at and can’t help but think, “Wow, he’s such a sample of true humility.”

What is your definition of “getting a life,” James? Is it spending time and resources and energy writing hate letters about sincere missionaries? I don’t mean to come across in a disrespectful manner, but I think it’s important to call a spade a spade. I know that there are people who have left the Family because they were hurt, or maybe they were misjudged or misunderstood or unchallenged. Granted, there are for sure mistakes and shortcomings that the Family has had to face and apologize for. I also know that there are some who have left because they simply don’t “bear witness” to our beliefs as a “truth.” But is this a good enough reason to try to discourage the rest of us that are still here and want to do something lasting for the Lord?

Like I said above, I’m working with a group of on-fire young people in my city who are a truly dedicated bunch, and are making a difference in the lives of many lost and destitute young people out there who are searching for true happiness and fulfillment in their lonely and aimless lives. My friends and I do believe in our Family beliefs and do bear witness to them as truth, and know that we wouldn’t be able to do what we’re doing without practicing our faith. Would you like to see us give up our faith because of pressure and defamation?

I would like to address you who have left the Family for some reason or other, but who still have a child or brother or sister or friend in the Family. Please honestly ask yourself the following questions:

1. Do I really want to see my loved one give up his or her life as a dedicated missionary?

2. Do I sincerely believe that my son or daughter or brother or friend or loved one is making a mistake by giving all their time and energy for a pure cause and one that will last for eternity instead of living a “normal” life in society?

3. Do I think it’s necessary to share all my dirty laundry and complaints and bitterness about the past? Will this truly make me feel better, or do I just have an urge and desire to see others suffer and fall into discouragement?

Dear ones, words are real things, and one day, the Bible says, we’ll have to give account for every one of them. Are you sure that you want to face the Lord with those things on your conscience? I ask you, let us live our lives for the Lord in peace. Don’t try to discourage us and tempt us to come down from the wall that we are building. We aren’t doing this for men, but we’re doing it for God. “If this counsel or work be of men, it will come to naught: but if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it, lest ye be found even to fight against God” (Acts 5:38,39). If James is right, then this Family won’t last. But if he’s wrong, I believe he will have a lot of answering to do before the Lord one day. If he is guilty of causing one of these little ones to stumble, he will have to bear the weight of whatever that will mean when Jesus returns.

* * *

As I see it-the truth about Mama, Peter and our WS Family!

By Keif, Mama’s Home

Although it’s very sad whenever it happens, it’s never totally surprising to me when I hear that someone who had once been an active, fruitful, and happy member of the Family for decades, has become a very discontent, disgruntled critic, breathing out horrid accusations of abuse and manipulation. I say it’s not surprising, because the same thing almost happened to me after the RNR. Although I was still officially a member of the Family, I had allowed myself to get so far off track, that it was only by the grace of God that I was finally, after several years, able to open my heart to the truth and break free from the downward spiral that I was on.

It’s hard to explain everything that took place in my spirit and in my thoughts once I began opening the door to the deceitful poison of the Enemy. It didn’t happen overnight; I never even saw it coming-until it was almost too late. I didn’t realize or admit to myself that I was drifting away and becoming hardened to the truth. In fact, as bad as it sounds, although I was feeling extremely dead and empty inside, in my pride, I had come to believe that I was somehow blessed with a special understanding of how things really were, and to look down on most other Family members as being total losers.

Just a few short months before, I would never have thought it possible for me to reach the level of doubt, discouragement, disobedience, pride, worldliness and overwhelming darkness that I had ultimately reached. Before I realized what was happening to me, I had gone from being a young, idealistic, zealous, on-fire, full-of-faith, radical and totally happy Family member, to becoming a completely miserable, full-of-bitterness, negative, critical-spirited, old-bottle worldling.

But today, I don’t really want to talk about myself, except to say that if God could rescue me from the miserable, slimy pit which I had fallen into, and keep me from being totally swallowed up and destroyed by the Enemy’s lies, then He can rescue and save anyone who will sincerely call out to Him for help and deliverance.

Because it happened to me, I can’t look down on others for becoming confused and allowing themselves to drift away from the truth. But it does break my heart for them. And it’s especially sad when they allow themselves to become so deceived and eaten up with pride or bitterness, or both, that they begin trying to destroy the faith of others. Sadly, that’s something that’s happening right now through the very deceitful propaganda written by James Penn, which is evidently spreading like wildfire.

I’ve been in the Family for almost 30 years, and during that time, I’ve twice had the opportunity to live and work around Mama. The first time was when I was working for Rachel, over 20 years ago in Spain, just before the RNR. The second time has been during the last nearly two-and-a-half years. So although I’m a relative newcomer to WS, I feel that my present situation, as well as my past experiences, give me the authority to speak out concerning the things that I’ve personally observed. Although I’d prefer not to have to speak against James, I feel that I have the responsibility to set the record straight as I see it. I’ll try my best to keep my statements as close to the point as possible, and based on actual occurrences. But please believe me when I say that I could write page after page concerning the admiration and love I had for Dad, the total faith and confidence I have in Mama and Peter, and my satisfaction and pride in the Family as a whole.

Although I haven’t had the opportunity to meet some of the folks from other WS units, during the last two years that I’ve been in WS, I’ve had the blessing of being able to work very closely with all the members of Mama and Peter’s Home. James [Penn] gives the impression that those who are chosen for WS are a special breed of easily manipulated, gullible, vulnerable wimps, people who are controlled by fear, and who believe and obey unquestioningly-“ideal grist for the WS mill,” as he calls them. Ha! That sure doesn’t match the description of those in this Home-not even close!

Although the Lord does at times expect His children to obey unquestionably, the picture that James is trying to present by parroting this typical anti-cult rhetoric couldn’t be further from the truth.-And I’ll use myself as a prime example.

Those who have known me over the years, know very well that if only meek little yes-men and women were chosen for WS, I would have never ever been considered as a potential candidate-because I’m basically just your typical proud, stubborn, independent and strongly opinionated Aquarian (no offense fellow-Aquarians). I can thank God for saving me and helping me to change quite a bit over the years, but that’s my basic nature, which still crops up from time to time.

A very sad illustration of this happened during one of the first real sit-down talks I ever had with Mama concerning a project I’d been working on. I don’t remember everything I said at the time; I just remember getting a little hot under the collar about something that she was considering implementing concerning one of the pubs. I don’t know what was wrong with me that night, but it seemed that everything Mama said, I disagreed with and argued with her about it. I was trying to stay as sweet and humble as possible, but I wasn’t doing a very good job of it. Later, I was feeling very bad about how I had acted, and I apologized to Mama for being so out of it.

Although she had every right to give me a little sermon and reprimand (and believe me, any normal boss would’ve probably given me the boot right then), all she said was, “Oh, please don’t feel bad. I love a good argument!” And that was the last of it. Ha! I learned right then, that although Mama is just human, she understands that we’re just human, too. She’s not afraid of hearing other people’s opinions, and she’s open to what others have to say, just like any good leader would be.

James claims that Mama and Peter are closed-minded, and that they’re determined to have their way no matter what. From my experience, that’s a total falsehood. From what I’ve observed, both of them are extremely open to whatever direction the Lord leads, even if it goes against everything that they’ve been accustomed to doing, and is against their own personal wishes. I’ve been amazed to see how open and yielded Mama herself is to the instructions and counsel given by the Lord through the mouths of others, even when it affects her personally. And the same is true of Peter.

Of course, neither Mama nor Peter are going to be open to doing something that’s obviously not the Lord’s will or good for the Family, or if it’s not in the direction the Lord is leading. But who would want them to be?!

As Mama has often explained in the pubs, she has a number of people whom she calls on and depends on to hear from the Lord about different matters. Every little question that comes up, Mama wants to know what the Lord has to say about it. If there’s a question concerning Mama’s health, or whether she should attend an activity or meeting, Mama will ask someone to pray about it. And she will accept whatever the Lord has to say to her. Here she is, the Endtime prophetess and the top leader of the Family, but she is humble enough to let herself be governed by the prophecies received by Peter and others concerning what she should do and how she should do it.

Those who work around Mama know that she will seldom tell anyone what they should do about something, even if she might have an opinion of what should be done. It’s become completely ingrained in the WS members who are close to her that if you ask Mama what she feels you should do, her reply will be, “Ask the Lord about it.” “Ask the Lord about it.” “Ask the Lord about it.”

If there were a main prerequisite for being a trusted member of WS or Family leadership, it wouldn’t be, “Are you willing to follow blindly Queen Maria and King Peter? Do you practically worship them and hang on every word they say? And are you willing to become a mindless robot and fulfill their every wish?” I dare say that Mama and Peter would probably never even choose to bring someone like that into WS in the first place. Instead, it would doubtless be something like, “Are you here for Jesus most of all? Do you get your instructions from Him, and are you willing to obey what He tells you to do?”

When Dad was around, he was constantly teaching us to keep our antennas pointed upward and to get our instructions from the Lord. Just like the Apostle Paul instructed the Early Church to “Quench not the Spirit,” and to “Despise not prophesying,” Dad always taught that we should be hearing from the Lord daily. Well, it’s finally beginning to sink in. As a Family, we’re learning to hear from the Lord more and more. But some people, like James, prefer not to place so much importance on getting our instructions from On High or using the gift of prophecy to such an extent in leading the Family. James claims that this is debasing prophecy. If you ask me, what he says is weird!-Completely bonkers!

Mama’s whole life and teachings revolve around taking time with the Lord, listening to His whispers and implementing what He says to do. How could that be debasing the gift of prophecy?! For years and years, Mama has been lifting up God’s Words and putting them high upon a pedestal. She loves them and refuses to let a single word from the Lord fall to the ground. It’s incomprehensible that the Enemy could twist things around to such an extent as to call Mama’s profound love for the Lord’s Words, “debasing and manipulative.” James is the one who is debasing the gift of prophecy, by ridiculing it and minimizing its importance and veracity.

James’ accusations just don’t make sense! They don’t even jibe! Are Mama and Peter trying to control everything, as he claims? Or are they trying to get people to make their own decisions and go according to their own faith, based on what they hear from the Lord each step of the way? It has to be one or the other; it can’t be both. James accuses Mama and Peter of both of these things at the same time, and yet he doesn’t like either one!

His viewpoints, though put forth in a seemingly logical and well-written manner, are totally ridiculous in my book. They’re written as if they’re coming from someone who is completely secular in his way of thinking-worldly, and not religious. He says that Mama and Peter use prophecy to bully and to indoctrinate, in an attempt to control the Family. Where did he get his ideas?-Straight from the anti-cult books he’s obviously been reading and promoting? The Maria and Peter I know use prophecy to strengthen, inspire, build up and motivate, as the Bible instructs the Lord’s ministers to do in 1Cor.14:3: “He that prophesieth speaketh unto men to edification, and exhortation, and comfort.”

Of course, the Lord also at times calls upon His prophets to use the sword of the Lord, the Word of God, to root out and to cast down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against God. But more than anything else, Mama and Peter are truly gentle prophets, loving prophets, who use the Lord’s Words to comfort and to encourage, to bind up the wounded and to heal the broken-hearted.

I’ve been a happy and blessed recipient of a number of prophecies which were received by others upon request from Mama during my time here. Skimming through the directory on my computer, I’d say there have been at least 40 or 50, if not more, due to my frequent health problems. And yet, I have not received from anyone a single prophecy that would come close to being considered manipulative or coercive. Instead, each one has been like water to a thirsty soul, kisses of love from my beloved Husband and Maker, comfort and encouragement when I needed it the most.

Even the prophecies which have contained helpful instruction concerning the difficult choices that I needed to make in regards to my health and medical treatment, could never be considered a type of indoctrination, as James calls it. If anything, the prophecies that have been gotten for me have nearly all had one thing in common-they were almost too beautiful to be true. In fact, in all honesty, I’d have to admit that if I’ve been hit with doubts about the veracity of any of the messages, it was because the Lord’s love and mercy toward me, through His words, were so overwhelming I could hardly believe that they could be true. You see, I have a hard time believing that Jesus could really love me the way He says He does, knowing how bad I am. But the Lord has confirmed over and over that in spite of everything, He still believes in me and sincerely means all of those wonderful and loving things He has said to me through the prophecies that Mama has sent me.

It’s the same with Mama and Peter, themselves. I don’t know how in the world they could have the faith that someone like me could ever be of much use to them. They just have a lot of faith! James says that WS members are viewed as expendables. But that’s not at all how we’re treated. Mama and Peter treat each person with the utmost of respect and understanding. No one is viewed or treated harshly.

From the first time I met them, I’ve never felt anything but total peace, acceptance, and love from them. It’s not that I idolize them or worship them or think that they’re infallible. I just want to make it clear that James’ accusations about how they keep their staff in line with fear tactics is total bunk! I’ve never once felt anything close to fear around them. From the way they’ve treated me, all I’ve felt is that they must see something good in me that no one else has ever seen, and that they have more faith in me than I have in myself. If that’s what you call manipulation and coercion, then by all means, coerce me! Manipulate away! Sock it to me! No-I call it love and faith. I call it wonderful!

A lot of things just depend on the frame of reference. Are you looking at things from a carnal, secular, independent and worldly viewpoint? Or are you looking things through the spectacles of God’s Word, with a believing and yielded heart. For instance, take what James says about Mama-how she’s a control freak. Ha! Let me tell you about Mama.

I’ve never in my life seen a person who is more capable of being in control-if “control” was what she was after. I know Mama would probably claim to be very incapable, unorganized and a total mess, and maybe she would be if it weren’t for the Lord’s help. But you would never know it by seeing her in action. Mama is the most organized person I’ve ever met. Not only is she organized, but she’s capable of organizing everyone around her, as well. Mama seems to have an almost supernatural gift and ability to be able to handle hundreds of details at a time. I’ve never seen anything like it. I never even imagined that someone could juggle so many things at once. Like Dad always said, Mama can keep a whole army of people busy with projects and ideas and things to pray about and things to do. And she herself can knock off one project after another, all the while, listening to hundreds and hundreds of reports and messages and prophecies and pubs for approval, and still have the time to be concerned about and get involved in the personal problems and trials of every member of the Home. James might look at how Mama is, with his secular, critical glasses on, and call her a control freak. But I call her an incredible shepherdess. Mama knows the state of her flock!

Even with all that she has to take care of and the many problems and burdens that rest on her small shoulders, it’s always surprising how much time Mama will take with each person she talks to. Mama is a hands-on leader. She likes to know what’s happening. If she beeps you about something, you just know that she’s going to end up asking you all kinds of questions and talking about all kinds of things. If you happen to be the first one she’s talked to that day, for instance, she’ll ask how everyone is feeling. She’ll find out what announcements were made at devotions, and who asked for prayer.-And then she’ll spend a few minutes praying for those people. Then she’ll often ask for prayer, too, either for her work or for her health or for Peter. She’ll find out who is out on business, and she’ll pray for them, too. And then, after all that, if nothing else comes up in the course of the conversation, she’ll talk about what she called you for in the first place. Or maybe she wasn’t even meaning to beep you at all; maybe she was trying to find someone else. So then she’ll call them and start all over again, asking questions and praying for those who need prayer, etc. Mama is a shepherdess who wants to know what’s going on and how everyone is doing. She wants to make sure that everything is being taken care of as well as possible.

Mama lays down her life, day and night, night and day, day after day for the Family. I’ve never seen anyone work as tirelessly as she does-and Peter too. Nor have I seen anyone who is as content as they are to simply do their job, without a lot of frills and thrills. (Well, I take that back. There are a few other people around here like that, too. GBT! Where would the Family be without them?)

All Mama needs to keep her happy is the Lord’s Words, so that she can pass them on to those who need them. That’s what she lives for. That’s what she’s lived for, for years and years. Is that weird? Well, it is a little “different.” It’s sure different from the world at large. But is it pernicious? Is it evil?

Mama’s just way too loving for me to think that anyone could consider her pernicious or evil. And the same goes for Peter, as the many hundreds of Family members who have met him can confirm. From what I’ve observed, Mama’s not the kind of person to be extremely emotional about things. Her love is more of a practical kind of love than a gushy one. But I’ve never had a more loving shepherdess anywhere. I’ve never known anyone to show as much concern-real, genuine, sincere, practical, obvious, and followed-up-on concern-as Mama. To me, that’s the kind of love that you can count on. It’s totally absurd to think that Mama or Peter could have ever “arrogantly beat and bullied someone into submission,” as James claims. If I try to picture it in my mind, I can’t even begin to imagine that it could be possible. I’ve never, not once, ever seen a trace of fear from any of the members in this Home regarding Mama or Peter. I can’t even imagine it.

I’m sure that Mama and Peter have made mistakes; they’re only human. But when I think back over my life and the many experiences I’ve had-both good and bad, both before I joined the Family and after-I’ve never lived in a more wonderful situation than now. I’m not saying it’s perfect. It’s not!-Because our Home is made up of people just like you and me. But because of Dad’s continued influence from the spirit world, and because of Mama and Peter’s determination to follow the Lord at all costs, and because of the high level of dedication of everyone here, there is so much more love and unity than in any other situation I’ve ever been in. So, what James said about Mama and Peter, and about bullied WS workers, well, it’s a load of bull!

What James is saying about the Family as a whole is also a big crock of shit! He says that the Family and its doctrines are so weird today, that no one is joining up anymore, and that people are so ashamed and embarrassed about our beliefs that they’re no longer winning new disciples. Ha! If I remember right, the Family was pretty darn weird when I joined it. In fact, when I visited a Family Home for the first time, things seemed so weird to me, I was practically scared to death! I couldn’t get out fast enough. But God wouldn’t let me. He spoke to me so loudly and clearly that I just had to yield and follow the call. It was weird, all right. It was strange and very different from the world that I had come from. It wasn’t like anything I was looking for or had expected to find. But God was in it, and God is still in it today. He’s still leading the Family-further and further away from the world. God is the only One Who wins disciples. And when God thinks it’s time for another great harvest of disciples, I’m sure they’ll start pouring in, just like they did in the beginning of the Family.

I find it totally dumb that James could expect people to believe that as much as he supposedly disagreed with the Family and with Family leadership all that time, he stuck it out anyway for years, hoping to change things. Poor, poor James! I think the real trouble is that James lost touch with the true spirit of the Family years ago.

The Family isn’t perfect. WS isn’t perfect. Mama and Peter aren’t perfect. But I for one am very thankful for that, because if they were, there wouldn’t be much hope for me. James believes that the Family has become irrelevant. But he’s so wrong! The Family today is better than it ever has been, and it’s getting better all the time-doing more, accomplishing more, reaching more, and walking the walk more. I’m so thankful to be a part of it.

* * *

They are the Letters

By Juan, CRO, South America

Dearest Family,

I love you very much and trust that our most loving Jesus is continuing to pour the choicest of His blessings upon you and that His joy is filling your heart to overflowing. Thank you so much for your prayers for me, as well as for the work in South America. I know that your effectual prayers avail much in helping us to accomplish any of the good that gets accomplished-all glory, honor, and credit for the good be given to Jesus!

I am happy to say that our precious Lord continues to do great things for us here in South America, whereof we are all glad. The work continues to grow and many more souls are being won to His wonderful Kingdom of Love. It is very inspiring to see personally, as well as hear testimonies from different brethren as to how receptive people are to our message of salvation, of warning, and of His infinite love. The Family continues to prosper and Jesus continues to supply abundantly for our Homes. It never ceases to amaze me how in a continent that is plagued with economic chaos and instability and where over 70% of the population lives in what is considered poverty level, our Homes have a good standard. Although many of them struggle on a day-to-day basis to be able to make ends meet to live up to our high middle class standard, nevertheless I can surely say that we are very blessed. The verse that comes to me as I write this note is the one David the psalmist prayed, “I’ve been young and now I am old, but I have not seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread.” Thank the Lord.

I thank the Lord for the heritage of faith that we’ve been blessed to receive from Mama and Peter’s sample of serving the Lord full time and the utter trust that they have in His wonder working Words. I thank the Lord for the sample that I’ve been blessed to “see and hear, receive and learn” from them, as this has helped me to have the most wonderful years of my life. Just the other day after receiving a letter and reading parts of it from someone who has chosen to leave the Family and in which he gives his personal account of the way he sees things, I could not help but think, “Wow, I see things entirely different, as I feel blessed for all that has happened to me, and if I was to go back in time I think I would do things exactly the same way.”

It is amazing how people can see things so differently. I guess that unto those who choose to believe and follow, He allows us to receive His “exceeding great and precious promises: that by these we might be partakers of the Divine nature.” I’m so often reminded of some of the “oldie goldies” from Dad in which he constantly warned us about keeping our eyes upon Jesus and closely following the Word; if not, we would easily be led astray by the lies of the Enemy.

Even now as I write this note, I happen to be looking out my window and see several children playing under the loving supervision of one of the sweet mothers. What a wonderful environment to raise our children in with such loving people to love and care for them. Amongst the children that are playing are some of my own, and once again I would like to say that if I was able to go back in time-my 25 years of service to the Lord under Dad, Peter and Mama’s loving shepherding-I would do exactly the same. I would forsake all to follow the Words of David that have helped to set me free.

As a matter of fact, the above is not just a statement, but a fact, as I have now started my second family and I’m doing the exact same thing-raising my beautiful children in the best possible environment that I know of and teaching the things that I know will guarantee their future whether they choose to stay as full-time missionaries or choose to pursue other goals in life as some of my older children have chosen to do. Granted, when I say “doing the exact same thing,” I’m not saying that I would not correct some of the mistakes that I’ve made through the years, but what I’m referring to here is passing on to them the heritage of faith that I’ve been blessed to receive through Dad and Mama’s teachings.

It saddens me when people leave the Family to pursue other goals, as I feel that we have the best of all worlds in the Family. But it makes me mad when those who leave try to destroy what many of us believe is our chosen destiny. As I said in the paragraph above, I believe that children that are raised in the Family receive wonderful training that will help them in whatever career they choose to follow. Not only have I seen the fruits of this training work in my own flesh and blood who have departed from our intimate fellowship and are now able to lead what the System would say is a successful career, but I have seen it in many of the young people who through the years I was given the responsibility to shepherd and befriend. And to give credit to whom credit is due, this training comes all from the Word that through the years Dad and Mama so faithfully send our way.

It’s been 25 years of living for the Lord and 22 years since I first met Dad and Mama-1978 in Nice, France. This happened not long after Faithy and I had made a trip to Libya. Previous to meeting Mama, I had met some of the other shepherds that in all honesty had greatly disappointed me as their spirit seemed so different to what I would read in the Letters. God bless dear Faithy who always inspired me to keep hanging in there and to always look to the Letters for my guidance. So when the opportunity arose that I was going to be meeting with Dad and Mama, I must confess that in the back of my head I was entertaining the thought that if they were not like the Letters, then I would just go back to the System.

Upon meeting with dear Dad and sweet Mama, I felt like I had known both of them for many years. The spirit of love that emanated from them brought such wonderful peace to my heart and spirit. They were kind and loving, making sure that I felt at ease and not nervous. We spent several hours together in that first meeting, and during the entire course of our conversation, the Lord, our Family and His sheep were the main topic of our conversation. It was a real experience for me to be able to meet Dad and Mama in person, although once having met them I think I came to understand what Dad meant in “I Gotta Split,” as we all partake of their spirit, the way they truly are, through the Letters.

Then I was blessed to have an extended visit to their Home while in the Philippines. I arrived on Christmas Eve, December 24^th 1984, and stayed till February 23^rd. I remember that upon arrival I was taken back by all the love that I felt coming from all the members of their Home. At first I thought that it was all a “show” and that they were trying to impress me. No wonder I had to be talked to about my pride. Ha! But as the days went by and then the weeks, I realized that it was not a show, as I too started to act more loving with others, and in my heart grew this desire to be more like the way Dad and Mama were with us all. It was during this time that Mama and Peter were very much involved in what was to become our first door-to-door tapes. Sweet Dad was also working on an exciting project, the Posters.

Of course, I was super inspired by all that was going on, as there was excitement in the spirit. But what would amaze me the most was that the reason behind all these different projects was the love that Dad and Mama had for souls, and for us, their children. I sat in many a talk in which they would refer to how the different projects would help our Family get their needed support, as well as to make it easier for them to be able to fulfill the commission of reaching the lost for Jesus. I was also surprised at how saving they were with the funds that the Lord supplied. As like I said, they were just like what I read about in the Letters, as I recall seeing Dad asking us to save on the toilet paper by just using the minimum amount needed, or not wasting electricity by making sure that the lights were turned off when leaving the rooms.

It was during this time that I was also blessed to get to know Peter more personally. Although we had met before during my visits to Europe, previous to when he went to live with Dad and Mama, I still hadn’t gotten to know him as well as I did during this time. I guess you could say before we were acquainted with each other, but it was during this time that we established a friendship. And I must say that now that the Lord has chosen him to be my shepherd and given him a position of much greater responsibility as he helps to lead and guide the Family, he remains just the same-friendly, humble, loving and simple.

Through the years I’ve been able to visit the folks’ Home various times, and each visit just helps to confirm that their sample and what is said in the Letters are one and the same. True, as human beings I am sure that they have their share of shortcomings and errors, but their love for the Lord, their love for us, and their desire to see the lost brought into His Kingdom of light is something that never ceases to amaze me, and their sample helps to give me strength for the battle. Even when at times things have been difficult and some of their trusted co-workers decided to go in different ways, I didn’t hear them say anything negative regarding those people. To the contrary, I heard their prayers for them so that in His time they would all return to the fold.

When reading a letter sent to me by someone who has departed from our fellowship, I could not help but feel that I needed to write to tell you, my Family, that having met Dad, Mama and Peter, and knowing their samples, they are still my heroes. And mind you, I am not that easily brainwashed as many would like to accuse me of. Those who know me well know that that would be a very difficult thing to accomplish, as I am pretty hardheaded. It’s just that I’ve learned through my 50 years to admire, respect and work with those whom I consider to be people worth following because I’ve seen their sample. And what I have seen and experienced in Dad and Mama, and now in Mama and Peter, is a sample of love for Jesus, love for His Words, love for His children, and desire to see the lost brought into the Kingdom.

As for me and my house, when reading some of what those who by their own choice decided to go their own way have to say, I think I will follow the example that sweet Dad used to give in the anecdote about the old grandmother. When she was confronted by her young grandson who had just graduated from college about the existence of the Almighty, all she said was, “All I know is that I speak to Him every day and He answers me.” I feel the same way. I am not that well-versed in my Scriptures, and honestly I think I should do much better in that particular area, but being as practical minded as I am, I am more the type of person that if it works, it works. I believe in the new weapons because they work for me. I try them and God answers. So I have no need to look for the doctrinal background or get into theological studies. After all, God did say that His wisdom was way above mine, so how could I ever attempt to understand what He’s trying to do? For me, if it works, it works! So consequently it must be true. How do I know that Mama and Peter are God’s chosen vessels to lead the Family into what I believe are the last days of this present System? Because I follow the Words that they so faithfully send our way and I see them work.

I love you and thank the Lord for the blessing of being a part of the Family and under Mama and Peter’s loving shepherding. “The Lord bless thee, and keep thee; the Lord make His face to shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee. The Lord lift up His countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.”

* * *

51 Months!

By Jenna, 25, Mama’s Home

I’ve been living at Mama and Peter’s Home for over four years. I’ve found my WS niche in editing and working on a variety of pubs such as the Grapevine, linkUP, Heaven's Library, etc., and an assortment of secretarial work.

Reading the recent accusations and twisted accounts of Mama and Peter’s personalities, their modus operandi, sinister motives and cruel treatment of people is a mind bender, I have to admit. But it’s even more so for me, since I live with Mama and Peter. I feel that in the past four years, I should have seen at least some of that heartless and manipulative stuff that a few individuals are ranting about.

I’ll simply tell you what I’ve seen and experienced over the last 51 months, and how my perspective of Mama and Peter has changed.

Avoiding Mama

I’ve got to admit that when I first arrived, I was nervous about meeting Mama. I had met Peter at Summit ’96 and I knew he was down to earth-kingly, but normal. The house that Mama and Peter were living in at the time had a beeper system in each room, and Mama’s tell-tale beep was the single one. Everyone else beeped twice; that way you had a little warning when it was Mama calling you (one of our staff tricks!).

I’d been in the home for about two days, and I was in my room when I heard my first lone beep. It’s embarrassing to say that I quickly left the room so that I wouldn’t have to answer it! Believe it or not, my purposeful bolting took place two more times during the following 24 hours! Eeek. Finally Amy bumped into me in the hallway and said, “You know, Mama’s been trying to beep you to say hello for two days now, but she never seems to be able to catch you. So she asked me to find you and bring you to her room.” Oh dear, out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Into Mama’s room I went, and she was lying on the bed. She was quite weak at this time, and kept the room very dark because of her eyes. She sat up and held out her arms to me, motioning for me to come lie down next to her. I did-knees shaking-and put my head on her shoulder. Her first words to me were, “Now, how’s my girl doing?” I burst into tears for two reasons-one, I wasn’t doing very good, and two, because she was so down home and loving. I felt at ease. There was nothing ultra spiritual or complicated about her. She wiped away my tears, talked with me and prayed for me. She took me in just like the mother that I had left behind, and her love toward me has always been unconditional.

The thoughtful “control freak”

During the first year or two, I didn’t have much personal contact with Mama or Peter, as I didn’t work closely with them on many projects. The extent of my pubs interaction with them was the Grapevine, an occasional tape from Mama or a conversation on the beeper every now and then, but I didn’t know her or Peter, as individuals, very well. Still, they both made me feel at home and loved. I confided in them as much as I felt comfortable, and as time went on, I became more and more honest with them, because they handled my personal life with great care.

Mama loves to know what’s going on in people’s lives. She’s generally curious about everything; she’s even interested in our SGA “girl things,” latest trips or kicks. I can’t think of many things she wouldn’t be interested in hearing about, especially if it has to do with you, your work, or something you’re going through. But that’s a far cry from being a “control freak,” as some have called her. Yes, she’ll ask how things are going, or will call you on the beeper to ask what you’re working on, checking on whether you can take on another project, etc. She keeps her finger in many pies because she is responsible for the overall Family and the pubs that go out. That’s her job. And she wants and needs to know what’s happening in our personal lives so that she can help to shepherd and encourage us.

I can’t count how many times I’ve made a personal tape or written a note to Mama about a battle I was going through. I didn’t expect her to do anything about it; I was just letting her know what I was going through and what the Lord was doing in my life. Often though, within the next few days, or sometimes even the same day, I would find a prophecy of encouragement printed out on nice paper outside my door, courtesy of Mama’s thoughtfulness.

Someone has said that “control is in Mama’s blood.” From the countless hours that I’ve spent talking with her, I’ll tell you what’s in her blood: Love for the Lord like you have never seen, an interest to know everything that goes on in the Family, and everyone’s personal situations and difficulties, love and encouragement, a desire to hear from the Lord and receive His Words and truth, and a burning, burning conviction to get out tracts and witness.

My tract tale

Speaking of Mama’s conviction when it comes to tract-giving, I had a very unique and unforgettable experience some time ago, which changed my perception of Mama, and which I remember vividly to this day.

We were in the middle of a move, and we had less than a week to close our house down. Over half of our team had already moved on, and we had organized a huge Sunday moving sale in our garage and driveway, in the hopes of selling our remaining stuff/junk/furniture, etc. Since I was leaving within the following day, I wasn’t involved in the moving sale. I was in the midst of packing, finishing up my work, etc.

On Sunday morning, after the sale had been in swing for a few hours, I had to go to the folks’ quarters to change a setting on Peter’s computer. Peter wasn’t there at the time, but he said I could go on ahead and do the work I needed to.

I headed up their stairs, and knowing that Peter wasn’t there, I knocked softly and then entered. Mama was in the adjoining room, and hearing my knock, she poked her head out the door into the living room and Peter’s office area. I’ve greeted Mama many times in this fashion, since I frequent their room rather regularly. However, this was no ordinary time.

Mama stuck her head through the door, looked at me and said, “Jenna, I am so upset!” I froze in my tracks and was speechless. Quickly she qualified herself, “I’m not upset at you, but I am so upset!” This was the first time I had ever seen Mama visibly upset. I’d talked to her on the beeper before, or even in person when she was a bit peeved or bothered by some bad situation, or upset at the Enemy, emphatic about something, enthused about a prophecy, etc., but I had never heard her raise her voice or seem physically riled up.

She went on. “I just got off the phone with Keif, and I gave him a piece of my mind, even though it wasn’t his fault! I was asking someone how many people have come to our moving sale so far, and they said about 30 people. Then I asked if they had been giving out tracts-which I reminded them to do last night-and they haven’t been. Nobody got the tracts together, so all these people have been coming here to our house and not getting any witness!

“What do we think is most important?-Going to all this trouble to put so much time and work into setting up this moving sale, just to sell hundreds of dollars worth of stuff, or giving these people who the Lord has brought to our very door the message through a tract? The money is not the goal! We could have just given it all away!

“The Lord brought each of these people here for a reason, and we’ve failed the Lord by not giving them the message. Sure, a tract may not be very much message or very meaty, but it’s the most important message and gift they could ever get in their entire life! Who knows? Some of these people might never hear the message again in their lives! The Lord is not going to bless us for failing to have tracts on hand, and for being more concerned about the money or the set up, or whatever else! Somebody had better get those tracts together right now, and not miss giving them to a single person!”

Mama continued her speech for about three minutes along these lines, while I was shaking in my boots! I just nodded with watery eyes. The spirit of Dad had come upon her, and I remember thinking, “This must be just like when Dad gave his ‘You are Your Own Worst Enemy’ talk!” I mean, it was heavy. Mama was righteously angry that we were failing the Lord by not being a witness to these people. Instead, we put so much time and prep into the moving sale just to make money and clear out our junk, but our priorities were wrong.

Then just as quickly as it had begun, Mama said, “Well, Honey, I know you had nothing to do with it, and I’m sorry you had to be here, but I had to tell someone about it. Now you’d better get back to your work on Peter’s computer. I love you, Honey!” She smiled and popped back into her room. And I sat down pensively and went about my business.

I didn’t forget that. It was such a sobering experience in the spirit, and the more I thought about it, the more glad I was to have had that chance encounter with Mama. Sure, it was a bit scary because I was just going to plop myself down at a computer; I wasn’t prepared for a righteous blast, so it came as a total surprise. A thousand and one thoughts ran through my head of the latest evil deeds I had done when she said her first words, “Jenna! I am so upset!” Ha!

It was so convicting for me to see how concerned Mama was about these people getting the witness via tracts. Of course, Mama has always been a great promoter of tracts, but she had also been behind our moving sale, and encouraged us all to pitch in and get the house cleared out. But when it came down to the bottom line, Mama had her priorities straight; it wasn’t the money that mattered, it was the sheep.

It was comforting to me to see Mama get so riled up about our failure to witness in the little way we could. I realized that since I’ve lived with Mama for four years now, I’ve become familiar with her in some ways, and am used to most of our conversation centering around prophecy, work related matters, new pubs projects, etc. Since our job in WS is not directly witnessing, we don’t focus on that daily, other than through producing GP tools and helping the Family do their job. I realized that I had gotten the subconscious impression that Mama was more concerned about prophecy and things of a spiritual nature, than the Family’s fundamental job of witnessing and fulfilling the Great Commission.

All throughout Dad’s Letters, you got the grass roots perspective of him getting involved in every practical detail of Family living. He would blast Homes for not feeding the sheep, for being unfaithful with their follow-up ministry, etc. You knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Dad cared about the little people and the little sheep, and witnessing was high on his list.

This encounter with Mama showed me how Mama feels just the same as Dad did. Yes, most of the time she focuses on her primary job of feeding the Family, receiving spiritual direction from the Lord, etc., but she is certainly not missing that grass roots love for the sheep. If anything, she’s one of the Family’s most on fire members when it comes to witnessing at every opportunity, passing out tracts, and never being too busy to give a witness, even though she’s one of the world’s busiest people! She recently got out her first Activated subscription!

So, out of a three-minute hot talk from Mama, I got a slew of lessons, a renewed appreciation of Mama, and a conviction that will remain with me for years to come of the need to put the sheep first.

Needless to say, every person who came to our moving sale after that got a tract and a solid witness. And we came out of the day with the Lord’s blessing and a fruitful day as well.

My unloyal, off-board state

When I hear allegations of Mama and Peter “treating people badly, especially those who aren’t totally loyal or on board,” two things come to mind. One, those people don’t live with Mama and Peter (and haven’t for years and years), so how can they be experts on what Mama and Peter are really like? I live with Mama and Peter, and these debasing accounts just don’t fit the Mama and Peter I’m living with. Second, as a barely-turned-21-year-old who came from the field straight to Mama’s house, I believe I gave poor Mama and Peter, not to mention Gabe and Amy, a decent run for their money when it came to my questions, problems, doubts about the Family, the Word, prophecy, and yes, even Mama and Peter themselves. I didn’t hold back in sharing what I thought. I didn’t hide my attitudes or perceptions, even though today I can tell you that many were wrong and inaccurate.

Gabe and Amy, as well as Mama and Peter, were patient, loving, and did not get on my case for not being totally loyal or fully on board. They worked with me at a reasonable pace. They were not harsh or cruel. There was no bullying or coercion. And believe me, I was neither loyal or fully on board for quite some time-though I was trying, I had a long ways to go. I pray that I am right in there now 100%, but some of my “lacking loyalties” and procrastination in living the new weapons, being fully on board, etc., hung on for three years. So from my own experience, I could never agree with someone who says that Mama and Peter are intent on “ditching people” or “throwing off the bandwagon” those who aren’t right there 100%, hanging on their every word, utterly and totally devoted to them, saying “hail Maria” or worshiping their guruness. That’s just not them. And do you think a bunch of young people would stick around if they were like that?

People have said that Mama and Peter or WS kick people out who aren’t there wholeheartedly, who disagree with how they handle things, or who show any measure of dissenting opinion. That’s not true. I know because I’ve been and done all those things over the last four years, and I’m still here. Granted, I love the Lord, the Family, and I’m trying to do my best. Still, my major battle during the past four years has been being in WS itself! I’ve seriously struggled with living behind the scenes. It’s not because WS is a bad place or because I don’t like the people here that I’ve struggled; it’s because it’s not my personal nature to be selah. I’m an action person. I love being out and about, witnessing, meeting people and having lots of fellowship. It’s taken me about three years to accept that being behind the scenes is my “daily sacrifice” in order to do what the Lord wants me to. I love my work, but this ongoing nagging “I can’t live behind the scenes” crisis certainly wasn’t going along with the “I-totally-and-blindly-love-WS” picture that unhappy former WS members are trying to paint as being the enforced standard.

If Mama and Peter really were the heartless and cruel generals that some make them out to be, I know they would have thrown me off the wagon long ago (after shooting me, naturally). How come they didn’t, when I was, in short, a time-consuming young problem!? I went through months of intense battles; actually, the first three months of my stay here were real hell. I was fighting the Devil, the Lord, and anyone else in the vicinity. But as long as I was making progress, however small, they hung in there with me. They loved me, prayed for me, and were every inch the anointed and caring shepherds that the Lord has confirmed they are.

A few months after I had gotten here, Mama was talking to me on the beeper. I was miserable about something and my attitude was, “I’m just going to tell Mama how I feel about everything, and it’ll probably wig her out completely.” So Mama asked me about how I was doing and I told her something lousy. I was then quiet and thought to myself, “Ooops, poor Mama! Since she hasn’t lived around many young people, she probably doesn’t realize that we can be rather dramatic exaggerators at times.” I felt a little bad, because I figured she’d get pretty worried or concerned about my dismal state. But it didn’t faze her. She said, “You know, I’ve learned some things about you young people. It’s important to be able to interpret what you really mean when you say things like that. For example, when you tell me that you’re bummed out about something, I know you’ll be okay and with time it will pass. If you say that you’re just losing it and you’re weeping, then I spend some time praying for you. And when you say you’re about to backslide or “jump off the roof,” then I beep Gabe or Amy and tell them to go talk to you, pray with you, and make sure you’re okay!”

I was speechless. Mama had pegged me. She had me figured out, and wasn’t in the least bit worried about my inflammatory comments, because the Lord had shown her the interpretation of them. Since then, I don’t worry about Mama misunderstanding me. On the rare occasion that she has, she’s been willing to listen to my retake on things, and accepts it.

Confessions don’t kill

A lot has been said about how much Mama values honesty, and Peter does also. I remember one time just a few weeks after coming, I was walking by someone’s room and happened to glance at a paper on their desk. It was a prayer request for someone, and I thought it was about me. I wasn’t trying to snoop around, but my eyes just fell on this piece of paper, and I felt horrible. This is one of those famed and classic WS blow-its that I read about in the pubs before coming, and I couldn’t believe I had done it! To add to that, I felt hurt that my shepherds hadn’t told me about it, because if there was something that I had done wrong, I wanted to know about it. A few days later, I got up the courage to write my shepherds a little note about it. They explained that it wasn’t about me, it was about someone else. That took care of the problem, and I had just jumped to conclusions.-Whew!

But just a week later, us young people were having a work meeting with Peter, Gabe and Amy, and as I walked in the room, my eyes swept over Gabe’s computer screen, and of all things, the one line I saw read: “personal prophecy about Jenna”-and it was from my roommate! I felt sick. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell Gabe, since the same thing had just happened less than a week ago! I figured this would be the confirmation to them that I’ve been going around peeking at people’s work, and trying to find out things that I wasn’t supposed to know. I lasted about 5-6 days, and then wrote Gabe and Amy a little note about it, which was sweetly answered. They said I was “passing the test of honesty.”

That evening just as I was about to go to dinner, Mama beeped. She said, “I know once I tell you this you’re going to think that everything you write goes everywhere, but it really doesn’t.-Only this time it did, ha!” Mama then explained that she had just listened to my little confession note about looking at Gabe’s computer screen, and she said, “You know, I’m so happy that you’re so honest. That’s just wonderful! That’s the most important thing. It doesn’t really matter to me what you write, as long as you’re honest!”

I thought, “Boy, that’s strange.” But it’s true. Mama didn’t mean that it doesn’t matter at all what you write, but that you don’t have to weigh your words, or try to predict how they’re going to be taken or understood.

Our “fun” king and queen

There are some self-imposed “Mama and Peter bashers” who are trying to convince people that Mama and Peter are evil, cruel, harsh, abusive-your general ogres swinging balls and chains scenario. That’s the tabloid version. It makes headlines, but it’s about as true as the “child-sucking-vacuum-cleaner” discovery or “Elvis-mates-with-octopus, has-child-with-eight-arms” stories that grown and presumably intelligent people make a living off of dramatizing for other people.

Reality would show that Mama and Peter are fun-loving, terrific people. I love being around them. They are intelligent, clever, and funny. They recently took all us young people out for a two-day outing, and it was great. It was no small feat. They took their precious time to plan and prepare so that we could have fun. They drove us around, showed us the sights, made sure we had what we needed, and were our chauffeurs.

None of us young people feel intimidated around them, like we can’t be ourselves or have fun, really do “young people” things, because they understand us and know what we like. Yes, they uphold a high standard and don’t let us throw all caution to the wind. But from my experience, if you are hearing from the Lord, confirming what you do with Him, and being prayerful, Mama and Peter are not legalistic, and they cut us young people slack when we needed it. They have a good balance, and that’s more than I can say for a lot of people.

A few months ago, Mama had given me a project to work on, and it was taking longer than I had expected. I ended up working through a movie night in order to get it done. I sent it to her late that evening. The following morning she beeped, thanked me for the project, and asked me to come outside to her little bathroom window. I went out there and chatted with Mama through her little window for a minute. Then she said, “I’m sorry you ended up working through your movie. Peter and I just wanted to give you a little token of our appreciation-your favorite chocolate bar.”

Oh yes, what a queen and king, ha! No, actually, I was a little surprised: first that they knew what my favorite chocolate bar was (I’m a confirmed chocoholic!), and second, that Mama was giving it to me! I just hadn’t pictured that sort of exchange before. As I walked to my room with my much loved snack, I realized that though chocolate-giving is certainly not the norm for Mama, it’s that very spirit-led balance that makes life fun.

Prophecy rules

Oh yes, Mama is a firm believer in prophecy. However, she doesn’t use prophecy to control, force or coerce people into toeing the line, obeying what she wants them to do, or to bully you into submission, meekness or yieldedness. I know that because I’ve been a recipient of I-can’t-count-how-many personal prophecies that she’s given me, and I haven’t been coerced into a state of submission or meekness through it. And, although I’m working on it, I’m still not always-100%-yielded!-Who is? Mama gives people prophecies because she believes that the Lord’s Words, counsel and direction is the most precious thing she could give anyone, so she does!

I used to wonder in the back of my mind whether prophecies were “pre-planned” or their direction predetermined. From personal experience, I know they’re not. Sometimes of course, the Lord has shown Mama what to do, or the answer to a problem. So when someone asks the Lord about it, He confirms what Mama has been feeling. At other times, the Lord gives a new direction, answer or idea-something that is news to Mama and Peter-and they get right behind it. Mama has asked me to hear from the Lord, and on occasion, I know I’ve gotten something different or unexpected from what she thought the Lord might say. But she’s thankful, happy, and believes the Lord. Mama and Peter are the best samples I’ve seen of following and obeying the Lord and what He says. Believe me, prophecies are not “rigged.”

Some people have the idea that Mama uses prophecy to correct or rebuke people, letting the Lord do the “dirty work,” so to speak. Since being here, I have received a few prophecies that I would label “heavy correction.” Of course, most prophecies have spiritual guidance, instruction, lessons, nudges back to the straight and narrow, etc., but I’m talking about a wrong action or attitude being pointed out via prophecy in no uncertain terms.

In one instance, I was getting critical of some people in the home, and it was affecting my work and its quality. She sent me a few prophecies, in which the Lord clearly and lovingly explained the situation and where I was letting the Enemy in. As soon as I’d gotten the prophecies, she beeped me to tell me that she was praying for me. A few hours later, she beeped again to check on me, making sure that I wasn’t discouraged, encouraging me to ask the Lord for more details if I had questions, etc.

The correction was just what I needed. Mama had every right-and was responsible-to correct me in order to ensure that my work was hitting the mark. Even though I was certainly at fault, she was very loving, gave me the benefit of the doubt, and made it easy for me to get back up again. And I’ve seen her consistently treat others in the same way.

Prophecy is not used to beat people down, indoctrinate or manipulate. It’s a beautiful gift from the Lord, which Mama loves to share with others. I believe your perspective has a great deal to do with how you look at prophecy. If you’re freaked about letting go of the reins of your life, and aren’t willing to let the Lord play your little chess piece on His board, then yes, every prophecy that gives direction or nudges you in this direction or that is going to be a threat to your own control. But if you value the Lord’s involvement in your life, then you can thank Mama for having had the faith to delve into prophecy, and for encouraging every single Family member to get the gift themselves.

If Mama really wanted to retain control over everyone in the Family, why in the world would she have pressed for everyone to hear from the Lord themselves? That doesn’t make sense. In doing that, she placed responsibility, faith, trust, and ultimate control over each individual’s life right where it belongs-smack between them and the Lord.

Switching roles

During the last two years, my ministry has changed. I now help to coordinate the pubs by helping them flow through the pipelines. If there’s a glitch or need in a pubs department, I help to get it sorted out or the need filled. Along with others, I also help Peter with some of his secretarial work-correspondence, transcriptions, and anything else-girl Friday style. I also do a bit of secretarial work for Mama, and I continue to edit the Grapevine.

Since taking on these new responsibilities, I have worked much more closely with Mama and Peter. Over the last two years, I’ve spent a good deal of time with them. I’ve gotten to know them personally, not just as shepherds, but as close friends who I love, trust and confide in. I have regular meetings with both Mama and Peter about the pubs and new projects, and as Peter’s secretary, I meet regularly with him.

As such, I’ve been privileged to see a side of Mama and Peter that I hadn’t seen in the previous two years of living with them. I’ve seen the behind the scenes thought, prayer, counsel and work that goes into a GN. I’ve been part of some discussions and meetings that have led to a new pub, a change or shift in policy, or a new vision being born. I’ve heard Mama and Peter counsel together and discuss problems, solutions, the Family’s burdens, and I’ve seen both their joy and sorrow in the heavy loads they carry.

When I was on the field, all I saw of Mama and Peter was the GNs and other pubs-printed, finalized and in my hands. I didn’t realize all the love, prayer, tears, toil and sweat that made up those Letters, or that went into a personal message of encouragement from Mama to someone who is struggling. I didn’t know what Mama and Peter thought about the problems of the Family, or how their conversations went when just the two of them were together. Now I’ve had a glimpse into that, and my assessment is that I’m more confident than ever in Mama and Peter’s shepherding of the Family. If you could see their love for you, if you could see how their priority is the Family and making things as easy as possible for you, and how every decision they make manifests this foremost desire of theirs, coupled with getting the Lord’s will and direction for the Family, you would never doubt.

I’m not trying to set them on a pedestal or say that they are holy prophets. Sure, they make mistakes and are human. They have personal preferences and ways they like to do things, just like you and me. They have their own unique personality traits and oddities, just like you … and maybe me, ha. But when it comes to something that affects the Family, the Word, or someone’s life and service for the Lord, they go to the nth degree to lay aside their own thoughts and feelings, hear from the Lord repeatedly and get counsel from others. They are desperate to hit the mark, and they rely on the Lord to do so.

They are shepherds who lay down their lives for you. When Peter had his recent heart attack, he was very, very weak. He couldn’t even open a folding chair or step up one step without having more heart pains. Reading about the problems of the Family would also hurt his heart. But still, he chaired the daily Activated meetings that were being held at our Home at the time, with a few visiting CROs in attendance. He rested when he could, but his priority remained the Family. Mama is the same. She’ll have a cold, a headache, be sick or weak, but still, she plows through her tapes, approves the pubs for you, sends off messages of counsel and encouragement. She and Peter don’t stop serving you.

Even when they’re resting or taking needed time off, what do they talk about? I’ve rarely seen them not talking about the Family. They have a lot on their minds, and they’re always a few years ahead-planning for how Activated is going to work in the future, the needs of our children and their education, our FGAs getting older and their need for more physical care and support. They’re constantly immersed in the big picture of the Family and its needs, even though they don’t broadcast all that they’re doing, thinking and praying about. But they are always on the job!

Inside Peter’s mind

Peter is, of course, different than Mama. He’s in tune with the Lord and anointed to be king-that’s for sure. He’s also practical, has a mind for business and details, and thinks a lot about the future, our long-term vision as a Family, and its repercussions and results.

Since working more closely with Peter, I’ve come to admire him a lot more. I didn’t realize before how much he shouldered, and how much he thinks, prays, and seeks the Lord about the Family, its direction and vision. Some of the things that have stood out to me through working closely with Peter, and seeing him both in-cathedra/ex-cathedra, so to speak, are the following:

He is loving, thoughtful and encouraging. He always has a good word to say to you-the kind of comments that make you feel like standing up a little straighter, smiling a bit more, and doing your work with more gusto because you know it is appreciated.

He is careful, prayerful, and thorough. He doesn’t jump to conclusions. He takes time to make decisions, because he wants to make the right one. He doesn’t sacrifice quality or accuracy for speed or staying on top of things, yet doing a haphazard job.

Me … well, I’m your typical SGA “now” sort of person, fast-moving. I like to do things now. I don’t like projects sitting around on my desk. When things come in to Peter’s mail or desk, my happy job is to try to help however I can to get them taken care of, if it’s something I can help with. I remind Peter of various points that need answering, if he and Mama need to talk and pray together about a matter, etc. My general day-to-day small mentality is: “It would be great if this could get taken care of, or so-and-so could be answered.” One morning, not too long ago, my mentality was enlarged, courtesy of Peter.

I was in Peter’s office, and he was giving me some projects. I rattled off some idea about how to provide a certain service to the Family, with each Family Home paying five dollars for it. While the idea may have been good, and would have worked for some areas, Peter was thinking big picture. He asked me, “What about the single moms? What about the children? What about the guys in Russia that don’t have five bucks to pay for what we say everybody can pay for?!” Hmm, readjustment time. Forget that idea, or seriously rework it. I’m 25 and still working on taking off my blinders, but thank God Peter and Mama have the global Family vision.

Odd way to cover up

An accusation that rather inflames me about Mama and Peter is one that accuses them of being “shepherds unwilling to take responsibility for their actions” and “who hoodwink the sheep.” That someone would say that Mama and Peter “deliberately mislead the Family, make terrible mistakes and cover up their sins” shows clearly that the accuser does not know Mama and Peter. They’ve obviously got an agenda and are intent on throwing misplaced blame and fault.

Mama and Peter could make terrible mistakes and then cover them up, hoodwinking the sheep and the Family in the process. But they don’t, and if they did, we who live closest to them would know about it. To the contrary, they admit their mistakes and are quite (you would be surprised) open when it comes to showing fault, mistake, or human weakness.

I’ve been on the phone with Mama more than once when she’s lamented to me about some mistake she just made, how she went too fast or wasn’t humble enough, etc. She’s humble enough to volunteer her mistakes and lessons, and share them with you. Peter is the same; not too proud to admit that he blew it by not taking care of something sooner, or that perhaps he made someone feel bad by not stopping to talk with them when he was on his way somewhere, etc.

Case in point: A few months ago I was having a pubs meeting with Mama and Peter. Mama was explaining an idea she had gotten from the Lord for a new GP children’s book series. When she mentioned that she had already beeped someone and asked them to pray about receiving the stories, I cringed. It didn’t sound like Mama had talked with Francis, who manages the GP department, and coordinates all its projects. With so many projects already in the works, I felt this posed a potential problem.

I gingerly asked Mama if she’d run her idea by Francis, and she realized that she hadn’t. As it turned out, over a lunch meeting with other members of the GP team, this project had been discussed, and with everyone excited about it and the Lord’s confirmation received, Mama hadn’t realized that Francis hadn’t been present.

Right away she said, “Oh dear, I really blew it! I’d better call him on the beeper right now and apologize, and let him know why I overlooked telling him. That’s very bad of me.”

Well hey, it’s not that bad. I mean, she is Mama and does have the final say on all the pubs, including GP stuff, so what’s the big deal? Well, the big deal is that Mama has given others authority and jurisdiction over certain departments, and it’s real authority. She likes to go through the proper channels, and doesn’t want to make people feel left out or overstepped. She values counseling with people. Considering her position, I thought her reaction was very admirable, especially since I-a 25-year-old little “sheep”-had pointed this possible error out to her.

Both Mama and Peter take the blame for things that they’ve done or said that cause confusion or misunderstanding. They’ve apologized to me, and others also. I’ve seen this consistently. Why would they confess their faults, admit their mistakes, apologize and show themselves weak before us if they really were trying to hide so much abuse and deceit? They wouldn’t.

Grow a brain yourself!

I think all young people in the Family should be outraged by James Penn’s derogatory comments directed toward us. He makes himself sound like such a sympathetic guy who’s concerned about us, but with his next breath cuts us and our choices and much loved beliefs, loved ones and Family down. That’s no friend.

His snide remarks about us “children” possibly deciding to “grow a brain” if we were let out of the “tenacious control” inflicted on us by the “wacky and abusive leaders of our lives” are entirely offensive. I don’t know him personally, but if he cared to talk to me or any of my other friends-and we’d gladly give him a piece of our minds-he would see that our brains are just fine. We are not stunted, manipulated or controlled. We have thoughts of our own, and plenty of opposition and self-determination in us. He may not want to discover that for himself, however. Seems to me he was looking for something startling and cool-sounding to add to his allegation list. Maybe startling (though untrue) but certainly not cool. Sorry, James.

And those of us who understand what the Family is really about don’t feel the Family has become a “weird place.” I think the weirdest thing involving the Family is the fact that some people can’t seem to make a simple choice to leave the group they proclaim to hate so much. What’s wrong with them? If it takes a grown man years and years to make the simple, “I’m going to leave” statement, he should work on growing his brain, and not accuse happy, content and intelligent SGAs of lacking in any area. Don’t foist your embarrassment and shame on us. The second I’m done with the Family, I’m outta here. It’s not going to take me years of misery to figure out I want a different life. I just don’t get it. And I have plenty of SGA friends who have left the Family plenty quickly; and they didn’t miserate (courtesy of Alana, in the terrific “new wine laced novel,” Blood and Freedom) the rest of us with their pitiful diatribes once they had done so.

One of the more valid accusations, in my opinion, is that of young people and others leaving the Family without much support, or others still in the Family feeling that the “judgments of God” may fall on them. That has truth to it. When I was growing up, that was generally the impression I had. But times have changed over the last year or two. Family policy on this issue has taken a turn, and love, support, physical help and all those other good and needed things are very much encouraged and promoted, which renders that as an allegation of the past now.

I’m personally glad for that change of attitude. Yet I also have enough sense to realize that while our past stance was not the best, hurt people and made some feel ostracized and cut off-everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is being willing to change and rectify them, which the Family has now done. So you can get hung up on that and cry “old abuse!” or you can choose to appreciate the fact that yes, we are a fallible human movement, but that we’ve just improved our Family by a leap and a bound. That’s my take.

Wrapping things up

I pray my story has shown you what Mama and Peter are actually like. The lives they live day in and day out can’t be compared to the horrible things some accuse them of.

Don’t let a well written letter or a clever speaker convince you of things he or she knows precious little about. We who live with Mama and Peter are the ones who really know what they’re like, how they live, what they do from day to day, how they view the Family, and what their motivations are. Most everything else is supposition, old and twisted stories (pretzel style), and largely hype.

Choose who you’ll believe.

* * *

It Depends on Who Is Calling Who Crazy!

By Joseph Reader, Mama’s Home

Dear Family,

I love you and thank the Lord for you, and count it an honor to serve you in WS. In fact, I consider it an honor to be in the Family. Even after nearly 30 years as a Family member, I still regard it as the best way and place to serve the Lord that I've ever seen. I wouldn't trade it for the world, and I've had plenty of chances to do so.

There've been some anti-Family diatribes from ex-members making the rounds lately, especially one lengthy article from a friend of mine who used to be in WS, in which he condemns Dad, Mama, Peter, the Letters, and a lot of things I believe in wholeheartedly.

After having to read his article, which contains many lies, half-truths, fabrications, distortions and deceptions, I feel sort of like Dad must have felt when he sat down and wrote "Our Answers to Interviu's 202 Lies" or "The 51 Errors of Daily Notices." Dad wanted to list everything that was wrong with these anti-Family articles-to enumerate the lies one by one. That's what I'd like to do with this anti-Family article in front of me. If I had the time and space I would-I'd be happy to discuss each point in detail, with my ex-member friend or anyone else. But to save your time, I'll just hit the highlights.

What right do I have to reply to these accusations? Well, just as James could say "I was there," so can I. In fact, I'm still there. I live with Mama and Peter and help them with their work in whatever way I can, just as I did earlier with Dad and Mama.

I joined the Family in early 1971, dropping out of college to do so, and dropping into nearly 200 crazy characters living together at 5th and Towne in Los Angeles. It was quite a switch from college life for me, but I was an idealist and I was willing to follow those ideals wherever they took me. I wanted to make a difference in the world and change it for the better somehow. So when I got saved with the Family and it dawned on me that saving souls made an eternal difference in people's lives, that's what I wanted to do. The Family seemed the best place to do it, so I stuck around, and I haven't changed my mind in the nearly 30 years since then.

I've been in WS for almost 20 of those years, first working with Dad and Mama, then later with Mama and Peter, as well as one of the WS pubs units. My ministry during this time has mainly been the Word and helping to get it out to you, so I think I can comment on it just as knowledgeably as James can. In fact, like Paul, I think I could say, "if any other man thinketh that he hath whereof he might trust in the flesh (comment on the Word, in my case), I more" (Phil.3:4).-Ha! I've helped to get out every GN since #1, put together a few of the Statements myself, and went over the ones which James worked on as part of my work-and I have a very different opinion of the Statements, the Word and the Worders than he does. In fact, I don't agree with him at all; I wouldn't be here if I did. Unlike him, I wouldn't be able to stick around for years while I disagreed with so much of what the Family believed in or stood for. I'd just be outta here.

I've worked under bad leadership in my time in the Family-under Deborah, Jethro, Isaiah, Rachel and others involved in the Chain. I know what bad leadership is-I've had them stand six inches from my face and scream at me. I know what "abusive, controlling, manipulative, self-centered, deceitful and callous leaders" are like, who "bully people into submission." These are the words James calls Dad, Mama and Peter. Well, believe me, Dad was not like that, nor are Mama and Peter! After the RNR, I resolved never to live under those types of leaders again, and I haven't-and don't.

In the 14 years I knew Dad, listened to him give talks, and even lived right outside his and Mama's room, I never knew him to be any of those things. He was sweet, loving, considerate, honest, open and very sensitive to people's needs. I'm thankful to have known him and to have worked with him.

In the nearly 20 years I've known Mama, I've never found her to be that way either, nor to be a "control freak." I've found her very open to suggestions, changes, and new ways of doing things, and she's thrilled when people take the initiative to do what the Lord shows them.

I've known Peter for nearly 27 years, since I met him not long after he joined the Family, and I lived in Homes with him years before coming to WS. And neither he nor Mama nor Dad "manipulate, intimidate, bully and belittle people," as some ex-members would have you believe. Nor do they "bring out the knives" if there's "any hint of disloyalty." Hey, I know-I've disagreed myself at times, and I've even done stupid things that could have endangered Dad and Mama's security. But I'm still here, and not because "they kept staff members in line with tactics that caused a great deal of fear."

(Judging by some of the things he's saying, I think my ex-member friend must have lost touch with reality somewhat; maybe it's from watching the movie "A Man for All Seasons" so often and identifying with Sir Thomas More so much, as he writes in his article. Well, Sir Thomas More was certainly a great Christian, but he was also a staunch defender of the old church-Roman Catholicism in his day. He considered Martin Luther a heretic, wrote speeches and articles against him and his "heretical" notions of salvation by grace, and had a few local heretics flogged to teach them a lesson. So Sir Thomas was a defender of the old church and its ways against the new notions and inspirations that God had given Luther straight from His Word. Perhaps there's some present-day parallel here.)

Let's go back to some of the accusations of Mama and Peter not tolerating any disagreement. That's not true-along with many other things in my friend's article-and I know, because I've disagreed. When the Loving Jesus revelation first came out, I was blown away, to put it mildly. I didn't see how I could practice it, and I didn't think it was a good idea for the Family as a whole. I told Mama that, and she sweetly suggested I just hang on, have patience, give it a try, and give the Lord more time. I did, and I've come to accept it, like it and enjoy it. It took me several months to get to that point, but I did, and I can say that it's borne good fruit in my life. In the interim period, I wasn't condemned or looked down on or thought of as weird.

As far as the new weapons go, I was a pretty slow starter there, too, since I didn't have the gift of prophecy! For nearly 26 years in the Family, when we'd have prophecy sessions, about all I got was an occasional verse, and usually not even that. Sometimes the only fruit of me sitting there with my eyes closed trying to receive things from the Lord was that I'd fall asleep, and once I even started to snore in a prophecy session-very embarrassing, as you can imagine! But contrary to accusations, WS is not an army in which "the wounded are shot and their bodies are thrown off the back of the wagon." Mama simply had the faith that I'd get the gift of prophecy, and a few years back I did receive it.

Since that time I've gotten prophecies from the Lord, Dad, spirit helpers, departed Family members, and even Abrahim. Some have been directional prophecies that I've seen fulfilled wonderfully, and they've been a big help to me and provided guidance. I don't have a problem with good spirits speaking to me, because again, their messages have borne good fruit in my life. They've worked. If my friend doesn't want to believe that good spirits can speak and pass on messages-which is completely scriptural, and I'd be glad to have a Bible study with him-well, that's fine with me. Millions of church folks believe the same way as he does, so he's got plenty of company. It does really bug me that he'd condemn me for getting messages from departed spirits, though. Seems pretty closed-minded to me, the same thing he's accusing us of. Maybe it's the "Thomas More" Syndrome cropping up again, wanting to flog the "heretics."

Now regarding Mama being a "control freak," I can testify that's not the case. I've been an eyewitness to her open-mindedness hundreds of times over the years, in publication after publication. A number of us in WS read the advance texts of Letters before they go off, because Mama is interested in our opinions or wants to know if there's anything unclear or any more points that need to be covered. I help compile those suggestions and comments, and they're what some people might consider shockingly frank and blunt. But I've found that Mama doesn't go by the tone of the comment so much as whether it's a valid point or not; and if the Lord says that it's a valid point and leads to make a change as a result, she's very willing to make additions or revisions, or in some cases even drop portions of text, with the Lord’s confirmation. I've never seen her "arrogantly beat and bully people into submission" for their comments on the Letters-including my friend. In fact, she often wanted to make sure she had his comments!

As far as Dad, Mama and Peter being afraid to admit they're wrong, covering their sins and deliberately misleading the Family, the politest thing I can call that accusation is a bunch of hogwash. Dad often admitted he was wrong in the Letters. My friend and I were there with Dad and Mama the day we were all to go to South America; our bags were packed and we were standing by the front door waiting for the taxi to the airport. Then Dad sent word that we weren't going that way, because it was the wrong way; we were supposed to go East instead, to Sri Lanka. And Dad didn't just tell us. He told the whole Family.

My friend and I were both there at the dinner table the night Dad made his confession, "I Was an Alcoholic." Dad didn't have to confess that, but he did, and again he published it. (And later gave up drinking completely.) Dad confessed his faults and failings many times, and Mama has done the same ("Mama's Love Story" and “Golden Victories” spring to mind, for one recent example), as has Peter (remember all those Letters on jealousy?). So there are many examples of Dad, Mama and Peter being willing to humble themselves in print and confess their faults, even though they didn't have to-even though the Family might never have found out about their faults and failings otherwise.

Most of us in WS also share our mistakes, lessons and faults with you in the Family at one time or another, if it's beneficial. (However, I notice my dear friend didn't mention any of his mistakes or faults in his anti-Family article-and I can assure you he has some, just like I do. The intent of his article seemed to be to blast others for their so-called faults and failings while avoiding mentioning any of his own.)

My friend says he could "write a book about the indignities Mama and Peter heaped on people." Well, as far as I'm concerned it'd probably be about the shortest story ever written, and his book would have to go in the fiction section of the library-or maybe fantasy would be a more appropriate classification for it.

My friend says he's lived with Dad and Mama and Peter and seen their hypocrisy or unloving deeds. For the record, I and others in WS have lived with them longer than he did, and we'd gladly dispute his accounts. Funny that only those who leave and grow bitter and resentful bring up such tales of atrocities. Weighed in the balances, there are a far greater number of us who have stuck around. Of course, my friend calls us the weird "cult within a cult," so what do all of us know?

He also says that "no adult in their right mind joins the Family nowadays." Well, the 257 adults who joined last year (and this doesn't include births), must have all been crazy, I guess, as well as the 13,000 of us who are still in the Family, which he calls "a very weird place." That reminds me of a few stanzas from Dad's poem "Don Quixote," in which he says:

They tell me our goodness is badness

Our singing of songs is in vain.

But I tell them their wisdom is madness

I'd far rather sing than complain!

So I'd rather be happy in Jesus

Than sane as the Devil and bad.

If it's madness of spirit that frees us,

I'd rather be mad and be glad!

For we live in a world full of madness

Where all are insane but we!

I'll take my world full of gladness

Though you call it fantasy.

Your world may be sane but temporal-

While mine is unseen but more real!

You call me insane and immoral

In this madness of gladness I feel.

But I say it is you who are crazy

And it's I who have reality!

It is you who are mad and amaze me,

For mine's for Eternity!

You're mad, and you don't even know it!

It's you who are living in dreams!

It's I who am glad, and I show it!

I dance on in spite of your screams.

It's you who are living in madness!

It's you who are really insane!

It's we who have Jesus and gladness,

And we'll have it again and again!

So here's to our dear Don Quixote,

Pied Piper, Rasputin and MO!

I'd rather be their blest devotee

Than have your insane world of woe!

As Dad says in this same Letter, "It depends on who's calling who crazy!"

My friend may label Dad as an "eccentric ghost," but I honor him as a prophet whose words changed my life, and whom I respect as a great man of God. My friend is welcome to his own opinion, of course, but I must say I consider it pretty vile of him to practice character assassination on someone who's dead and can't defend himself in person-especially since he says he has no faith in Dad speaking from beyond.

Regarding our "strange doctrines" that cause the Family to not bear fruit, again I'm afraid I'll have to disagree with my friend. I wish we were bearing more fruit, and I think we will very soon through the Activated push and our coming changes in Family structure. But it's not the fault of our doctrines that we're not bearing fruit; it's our own fault, Lord help us.

Perhaps my friend isn't aware of the fact that some of the religions with what others would consider "strange doctrines" are some of the fastest-growing in the world. The Jehovah's Witnesses have some very odd doctrines-I know, because my aunt was one, and I went to the Kingdom Hall with her many times as a child-but their growth is explosive. They don't consider their beliefs odd, and they're very enthusiastic in their witness, so there are millions of them. The Mormons don't consider their beliefs odd either, although many others do, yet they're another new religion with phenomenal growth. And for that matter, the biggest Protestant denomination in North America, the Southern Baptists, won't ordain women to preach the Gospel, something that many people consider strange and unscriptural. But the 15 million Southern Baptists aren't ashamed of their doctrines, and it hasn't stopped their growth. And let's not forget the beliefs of many other major religions and groups considered odd and strange by outsiders-the Hindus, Buddhists, Orthodox Jews and others. The bottom line is that our doctrines are not odd or a problem. Our doctrines make us what we are, and I thank God for them!

I thank God for the Family. We have our faults, because we're human, but we're the best thing I've ever found-and I don't say that just because I've become "institutionalized," as my friend terms it, and couldn't make it outside the Family. During the NRS era I had a job for about a year, and during that time I became one of the highest-paid accountants in the country I lived in, hobnobbed with the rich and powerful, attended investment conferences in Switzerland, etc., all as a result of the training I had received in the Family. And at the end of that year, I was exceedingly glad to give up my money, lifestyle and perks to be a full-time Family member once again. Thank God for the Family, and thank God for you dear Family members who I am honored to serve alongside!

Love, Joseph.

* * *

No Pressure

By Jon-A, 24, Mama’s Home

I haven’t taken the time to read James Penn’s whole letter, but did catch a couple parts, and one statement that struck me as particularly off, due to my personal experience, was the part where he says, “as long as an individual is perceived to be an ‘on board,’ loyal, unquestioning follower” that Mama and Peter are loving and concerned, but “if Maria and Peter detect any hint of disloyalty, the knives come out and things often get ugly very quickly.”

I know the above statement to be false, because I was in a situation around a year ago where I wasn’t totally “on board.” In fact, I was far from it. I was pretty far behind in implementing the new weapons and wasn’t growing with the way the Lord was asking us to go as a Family. I wouldn’t say I was necessarily “disloyal,” but I was definitely not an “unquestioning follower”! I knew I was basically out of it, and that I was going to need to make a choice regarding the level of dedication that I wanted to live.

Around that time, Mama and my dad visited our WS unit. It was a surprise, as none of us knew they were coming. But I never felt the slightest bit of condemnation or that they were looking down on me, although they obviously knew my situation. Their visit was very short, but during the course of their visit I had a chance to talk to both Mama and my dad, and they were very reassuring that no matter what I did or what choice I made-be it staying and working in WS, going to the field, or even if I chose a life outside of the Family-they still loved me. They made it obvious that if I did choose life in WS that I would have to make changes. But the point was, that the choice was mine and they weren’t going to treat me badly one way or the other.

The choice I ended up making was to stay in WS and commit to the standard the Lord has asked of us. But in no way in any of this did I feel pressured or did I feel that just because I wasn’t “on board” that they loved me any less or even treated me any differently. It was definitely a far cry from the way James depicted things above.

Since then I’ve made some big changes, and although I know I haven’t attained, I would say that I’m “on board,” because I believe wholeheartedly in and am proud of where the Family is going and what we’re doing. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself an “unquestioning follower,” because I don’t believe that’s the goal, and neither do I think that’s what Mama and Peter expect.

* * *

I am Still I

By Louise, 24, Mama’s Home

I joined Mama and Peter’s staff nearly four years ago, in September of ’96. Prior to my arrival in this Home, I had lived at a CRO office, and over the course of my teen and YA years and travels across various continents, met and lived with several sets of Family leaders-including NASes, NOs, CROs and those with other initials. As a secretary who has worked for a wide variety of leaders over the past 10 years, I’ve liked most of my “bosses,” but I have to say in all fairness that of all leaders I’ve lived and worked with, Mama and Peter are the least intimidating and most unassuming of them all. I’ll admit I have worked for other leadership who I did not feel comfortable speaking my mind and heart to. I won’t say I was afraid, because I’m not the type that is easily intimidated. In fact I “warned” those on Mama and Peter’s staff who wrote me with an invitation to join their Home that I might not be what they were looking for.

I was of the mindset then that those in WS were probably the “extremely yielded, totally in the spirit” type of people, and I in all honesty had to admit I didn’t fit that category-and I don’t know to this day if I ever will. I’ve always had a hard time with authority figures in general; I’m just not the unquestioningly obedient type. It’s my nature to question anything and everything, including established rules and procedures-especially those that affect me personally and that have potential to “cramp my style.” I’ve been in Homes where there were rules that to me bordered on the ridiculous, such as dictating who one could or couldn’t sleep with, for example. I haven’t encountered any such thing in Mama and Peter’s Home.

It’s been stated by some who dislike Mama and Peter and their way of operation, that they are quick to discard anyone that’s not “completely on board” to the point of being a mindless “yes” person, and that they surround themselves only with the utterly submissive. I wish you all could visit our Home and see what kind of opinionated characters, yours truly included, Mama and Peter have chosen to surround themselves with.

It’s also been said they treat people badly, that they trample on the rights of the little people, that they don’t listen to anyone, and if they do, they never change anything. Speaking as a “little person,” I can testify that that’s not true either. A while after I joined their staff, Mama’s secretary sat down for a chat with me and asked me if I could join the “locals” team to help proofread the GNs. She told me how Mama was grateful for any and all input, that I shouldn't hold back, but should state what I felt, whatever it was. I told them they didn’t know what they were asking for, and promptly decided to put their assurances to the test.

It wasn’t difficult to come up with the questions, and I put every single one down on paper. Then for months I would tediously check the finals of the pubs to see whether my perspectives and questions had been taken into consideration. I could tell that they had. Many times questions I had raised were addressed in the form of an addition to the pub, helping to fill out the picture further or explain an angle that could have been misunderstood or misapplied, for example. Of course it wasn’t always the case that things went “my way,” as sometimes something just had to be said regardless of whether I or other young people in the Family would squirm about it or dislike it. Just the same, I could tell from those things that had been adjusted, that what I had to say mattered. Mama in all sincerity appreciates my and others’ comments.

I think some of us are argumentative by nature-not in a malicious way, but we just feel a moral obligation to ensure that the other side of the story, whatever the story is, has been brought up. I’m very much like that, and certainly sense a “kindred spirit” in that sense with Mama. Looking back over the older Letters, that’s how she used to work and interact with Dad, and now that she has the responsibility he used to have, she is very open and appreciative of the same quality in others.

I think that Mama is one of the most open-minded people I know. There are a lot of people, including other shepherds in the Family who, when confronted with some bizarre statement or rash suggestion from a young person, will immediately dismiss their idea or request as unacceptable. I’ve seen it and I’ve felt it. But I haven’t known Mama to be that way. Yes, she loves prophecy and treasures the Lord's Words that are spoken that way, and has certainly encouraged us as her staff and helpers to use it, Ask-Me -Everything style. Yet it is entirely unfair to her to suggest that she uses it as a weapon of control or manipulation. To the contrary, I would say that it is useful to us as a tool towards self-determination, moving everything away from the “one man show” of a leader determining what people will or won’t do and how they’ll operate or not operate, and placing that responsibility as well as privilege on us. Mama and Peter trust me and respect me as an individual, as do the shepherds of our Home, who they personally trained and appointed. They are very appreciative of my talents and good qualities, and very tolerant of my lacks and character flaws.

I recently visited my family on the mission field, who, knowing I live in Mama and Peter’s Home, were most curious to find out whatever they could about our inner workings. They wanted to know about the rules, the do’s and the don’ts, what we did or didn’t do, what we could or couldn’t get away with. “Rules?” I asked myself. It dawned on me that really the leading “rule” around here, if it can be called that, is that people hear from the Lord personally before making a personal decision. We also keep in fairly close touch with our shepherds, and often chat with them about what we’re up to and what’s happening in our lives, and sometimes send them (and Mama) copies of the personal messages we’re getting from the Lord. If I want to engage in a certain activity, read or view certain material, or get involved with a certain person, then provided it doesn’t contravene the Charter or our basic Home guidelines, there is no one to tell me I can’t-only someone to encourage me to hear from the Lord before making my decision.-And I’ve found the Lord, like Mama, to be very open-minded, very tolerant of questions, and open to discussion and even negotiation.

Not long ago I had asked about visiting some loved ones in a WS unit in another country for a few weeks. One of the shepherds prayed about it at Mama’s request, and the Lord indicated it wouldn’t be the best time, as things were very busy around here and my help was needed to keep things rolling. Mama gave me a copy of this message, prefacing it with a very sweet and understanding explanation over the intercom, showing a lot of concern for my desires and emotional involvement. Somewhat to my surprise-though I shouldn't have been surprised, knowing the way she is-she even threw in that “if after reading this message and praying about it personally, you still feel you really want to and should go, then maybe we can ‘appeal’ and ask the Lord again.” Fancy that. I did very much want to go, but after further prayer and thought myself, I realized it really wasn’t a good time and agreed to wait on it.

I wasn’t all too keen at first on the idea of how much prophecy goes on around here, and how much everything is prayed about. Yet I’ve come to see through personal experience that it’s really the way to go. It assures me that Mama is not “the woman in control,” but that she is open to following the Lord's direction, no matter whose mouth it comes through. It also gives me much more room to maneuver, as I know that I’m free to express my thoughts and they will be considered and prayed about-most likely by me-and won’t be casually dismissed as unimportant, insignificant, rebellious, or what have you.

Mama not a good listener? She spends most of her day listening-to messages from the Lord, as well as the ideas, thoughts, and heartcries of her family, in and out of WS.

Some former Family members would have us young people believe that we are only in the Family because we have no other options, nowhere else to go, and are too weak and spineless to stand on our own two feet and make our own decisions in life. That severely offends me. I’ve been home schooled to a college level, have learned three languages besides my own, am a fast learner, and have a variety of skills from secretarial and managerial to creative writing to teaching children of all ages-plus I’m Jewish, and as everyone knows, we have certain qualities that prevent us from being pushed around too easily.

Don’t try to tell me I couldn’t make a decent life for myself outside the Family. I almost want to prove to you it’s not true. But I’m here because I love the Lord and want to serve Him, and because the Family, and WS in particular, is a place where I can do that, and not only do it, but do it in the way that I enjoy, feel comfortable with, and am able to use my talents and speak my mind freely.

References to young people in the Family not being given opportunity to “grow a brain” are likewise… well … retarded. We all have brains-they are an inherent characteristic of every human on the face of the Earth. Spend some time with a two-year-old, or a teenager for that matter, and you’ll know that no amount of “programming” or “indoctrination” is going to make that child ever think the same way as his parent does, or listen to and obey them without reservation. God made us to think, to question, to decide. That’s what separates humanity from the animal kingdom.

A good portion of my close friends through my childhood and teen years have left the Family at some point during the past 7 years. Every single time that has happened I’ve re-evaluated and reconsidered my decision to stay. Maybe one day when doing so I’ll decide not to anymore, but it won’t be because of what someone else thinks or feels or says. I’m not that easily influenced, for good or bad. I only wish that everyone would feel the same way. Don’t stay if you don’t want to, and don’t leave if you don’t want to. Follow your heart. You know what’s true, you know what’s right for you-and what’s right for you is to be dictated and decided by you and you alone. Likewise it’s for every other person you know-or don’t know-to decide what they want to do or not do with their life, so for God’s sake don’t be a manipulator who tries to persuade others to either leave or stay when that’s not what they want to do.

One former member wondered aloud, “How many Family members are sincerely proud of all the Family's present-day beliefs and practices?” I, for one, am. I am more than aware of how odd some of our beliefs appear to those who either don’t understand or agree with them, and I think that they have a right to feel and believe whatever they want-but conversely, so do I. If I want to have sexual fantasies about Jesus, if I want to converse with my departed grandfather, if I choose to believe that I have the freedom under the Law of Love to have pre-marital sex with more than one partner, what the hell should anyone care? It’s not harming anyone, and it helps me express the cravings within my own spirit and fulfill my desires, and at the same time be able to serve the Lord. I don’t know of any other church where I could find that kind of combination. If you do, you know where to contact me. I’d certainly consider it.

P.S. A wee word on allegations of child abuse: While growing up in the Family I’ve lived in over 10 countries on three continents, in all types of Homes from the very small (my family) to the very large (HCS, approximately 200 people at the time.) I have a very good memory. I remember the house I lived in when I was barely two years old, and just about everything from there on-sometimes more than my mom does. I have no recollection of any form of abusive treatment, sexual or otherwise. I have a few friends-girls my age or thereabouts-who had untoward experiences with a rogue male here or there, but I also have many friends who, like me, led peaceful and undisturbed childhoods. We knew we were loved and cared for, and in fact I believe afforded a respect that most any child in the world would be privileged to experience in their formative years.

* * *

Speaking up

By Rebecca, 26, Mama’s Home

I’ve lived with Mama and Peter for four-and-a-half years. During that time I’ve worked with them pretty much on a daily basis-both on a secretarial level, as well as a personal level. I’ve traveled with Peter, I’ve stayed in Mama’s room when Peter was away and her health was poor. I’ve typed their tapes, helped them with their messages and correspondence, and helped Mama with her work on the pubs. I’ve filled in for Rose (their full-time personal helper) when needed, and taken care of their foods and other personal needs like cleaning their room and doing their laundry. I’ve packed for them during times of travel or moving, and helped take care of them when they were sick.

I’m not telling you these things to be proud or to boast of how helpful I am or how undeservingly privileged I am to live close to Mama and Peter and have this level of interaction. I know without a shadow of doubt that it’s not by any goodness of my own that I’m here. But I'm explaining what I do because I believe that during this time that I’ve lived with them, I’ve gotten to know them fairly well-both on a work level, as well as a personal level.

Hearing of the accusations against them that are currently being circulated, my response is that I only wish every Family member could have the chance to come and see for themselves what our king and queen are like. But since that’s not possible, I want to share my personal experience of what I’ve found in working with them. This is my personal testimony-you can choose to believe it or not. But there is no doubt in my mind that your hearts would be comforted and the lies put to rest if you were able to see for yourself. I’m not going to try to say that I’ve found either Mama or Peter to be perfect-because that’s not the case. But I have found them to be two of the most loving and unselfish people I’ve ever met.

One of the accusations that upsets me the most personally is the insinuation that Mama and Peter have selfish motives for leading the Family in the way that they are, that they are egotistical and self-glorifying. Nothing could be further from the truth. Mama and Peter both live to serve the Family. If they were living for themselves, their lives would be so different they would be unrecognizable. If they were living selfishly, they might be able to put on a good front to people who didn’t live with them, but not to those of us who come in and out of their room bringing tapes and messages, beeping them at all hours to ask questions pertaining to work, and working with them on projects that require lots of prayer, hard work, concentration, and urgent attention.

I have never met anyone who works longer hours than Mama. When she’s not on the beeper, counseling or praying about something with someone, or in a meeting, she’s working on a GN or listening to tapes-tapes from you, her beloved Family, or messages from the Lord about problems that have come up, or approving a pub-a Kidland or Eve or Grapevine or Zine etc. It requires a tremendous amount of concentration to put together a GN, or approve a pub, or edit a Letter by just hearing the material!-You should try it sometime! You can’t see it, you can’t skip back two pages to see where that point was covered before. It’s a huge amount of work, because she can’t use her eyes.

She’s often tired. She often doesn’t feel well. She often asks for prayer that she’s able to get more work done. She uses every spare minute. She listens to her tapes when she’s exercising on the exercise bike or treadmill, and even when she’s washing her face or brushing her teeth. How she manages, I don’t know-but I do know that she is motivated to do it because of her love for the Family and her desire to make their job as easy as possible. If there’s something that she can do, or that WS can do to help, to make someone’s life easier, to give the Family what they need in some way, she endeavors to get it done no matter what the cost to her personally.

Another way she manifests her love for the Family is by her faithfulness to pray. She is personally involved in making sure we have a comprehensive list of the important current prayer requests for each prayer morning, which we have every two weeks, and she makes sure that we keep up with our prayer times at meals and vigils, that we cover all the requests for prayer that have been sent in. She is faithful to remind us that many of the requests for prayer that come in are confidential or personal prayer requests, which don’t go to anywhere else, and so the responsibility lies with us to uphold those situations in our prayers. She and Peter take time every morning to pray together for the various requests. And any time when you talk to her on the beeper about anything, she prays for that situation and the people involved. You can’t tell me that those heartfelt intercessory prayers come from selfish motives.

The same is true of Peter. Those of you who have met him on trips have probably seen a glimpse of how much he gives. It doesn’t matter how tired he is, how little sleep he got the night before, or the fact that once he gets back to his room he has to read tons of messages and answer timely matters that have come up-he will still take time with each person who needs to see him, and does what he can to help them with their problems or at least pray for them. When he gets back to his room, he’ll dictate a tape of prayer requests that people asked him to pray for, will request prophecies for those who needed additional counsel, and will follow-up on any urgent situations that needed attention. When he finally gets home he has meetings about things that need to change, and they try to remedy those situations. His loving concern for each person isn’t just a show-it’s genuine. And when he’s not traveling, it’s the same-all day his work involves reading about problems, and praying about how to solve them.

Mama and Peter are faithful to remind those of us in WS that we are servants of the Family. They live that sample on a daily basis. What more can I say?

One of the rumors going around about Mama is that through the prophecies she publishes in the GNs, she tries to control the Family. In order to do this, she slants the prophecies whichever way she wants them to go. One of my jobs is helping Mama with her work on the GNs and other pubs, by typing her tapes of dictation or corrections, incorporating the changes into the file, and praying about wording changes at her request, etc. When I originally started doing this, I wondered if it would make me lose my respect for the Word, because I was getting a close-up look at what went into the pubs, how they came about, etc. But the opposite is true-my respect for the Lord’s words that Mama publishes has only increased, because I’ve seen the very great amount of prayer that she puts into each GN that she prepares and each publication that she approves.

Mama is so prayerful. When she hears a prophecy that she thinks would be helpful for the Family to hear, she asks someone to pray about which pub it could go in, or if it should go in a GN. When she listens to the prophecies that she has compiled for a GN, if anything’s not clear, she’ll ask the Lord about it. She asks the Lord about the order, she asks the Lord about the presentation, she asks the Lord about the general direction several times. If a certain wording could have a double meaning or is unclear, she’ll ask the Lord how He wants to reword it.

Mama doesn’t like to use the term “editing” when referring to prophecy-because even the smallest wording change in a prophecy is taken back to the Lord. If something is repetitious, she’ll ask the Lord what He wants to delete. If something doesn’t cover a certain aspect of the subject that she feels would come up, she goes back to the Lord for more. She carefully prays about everything-and asks a variety of her channels to pray about these things. So it’s obvious to me that it’s not like one person’s opinion influences the direction. To say that Mama slants the prophecies in a certain direction according to what she personally wants must definitely be coming from someone who doesn’t know Mama very well.

Another accusation being leveled against them is that they bully people into submission with prophecy. I have received quite a number of personal prophecies from them during the years I’ve lived with them-some prophecies of encouragement, others instructional, even some pretty strong correction. But every one was given with a great deal of love, a tremendous amount of understanding and even benefit of the doubt.

There have been times that something in one of the prophecies went down sideways. There was one time that I even felt unjustly accused of something that I didn’t think I was guilty of, and wondered whether the person receiving the prophecy had really gotten it right. I expressed these feelings to Mama, and instead of telling me that “Well, that’s what the Lord said, so you’d better believe it and receive it,” she suggested that I could ask the Lord further about it personally, as He might have an explanation that would help make it easier. Sure enough, when I asked the Lord, He explained how I was meant to apply the lesson-which was very different from the way I had originally taken it-and it made perfect sense and was easy to receive. Mama was very enthusiastic about the message I got, and supportive of the way the Lord had explained it.

If I had not asked the Lord about it, I might have continued feeling bad and misunderstood. But when I asked the Lord, He explained it all so that it made perfect sense. I can see how someone might have a negative reaction to a prophecy-it’s happened to me, too. But you can’t just leave it at that or it will fester and become a negative experience. You have to ask the Lord about it further so that you can see the complete picture. That is something Mama always advocates and encourages. She doesn’t expect you to take only what she has given you and leave it there, but to always ask the Lord more about it so that you can get the full picture.

Mama and Peter are very open to suggestions, ideas, even contrary ideas and opinions. Rumors are going around that they’re closed-minded, they want people out of the Family who don’t think like they do, and they don’t listen when contrary ideas are presented. My personal experience is exactly the opposite. I’m a sensitive person by nature (a.k.a. proud-yes, I’m working on it), and if I say something and it’s shot down or I receive a negative reaction, I don’t often go there again. But I am very free to speak my mind with both Mama and Peter.-That in itself is proof that they respond positively to contrary opinions!

They don’t just take all those opinions and act on them-thank God! But they do consider them seriously, they take them to the Lord, they bounce them around with others, and they make their decisions in accordance with what the Lord shows them. I’ve had some of my suggestions taken, others not. Some have been taken in part, and used to modify the original idea. Others have simply precipitated more prayer and counsel on the topic, but the original idea still stood. But I know for a fact that they welcome ideas and opinions, and they take them seriously. I’ve never felt brushed off, or worse yet any kind of negative reaction or bad vibes because of something I’ve brought up.

They believe that personal initiative and each of our personal connections with the Lord and willingness to follow Him makes the Family what it is. They’re not worried about holding on to control or keeping the reins. They realize the structure of the Family is essential to our continuing to do an effective job, but they are constantly trying to pass down more responsibility, inspire more initiative, and they certainly encourage direct communication with the Lord for each of us. I know that from personal experience.

Mama and Peter are genuine. They don’t put on airs, and they don’t try to give one impression while in fact hiding their true motive. When they remind us in WS to be frugal and that we’re living off the missionaries’ tithes, it’s because they live that way themselves. Recently they took a few days away from the Home, and they had Rose and I pack some foods for them, to help cut down on the time they would have to spend on meal prep. We cooked and prepared and then froze some meal-size portions of refried beans, tomato sauce (as a base for spaghetti or whatever), lentils, spinach, etc. When they came home, I was asking them how their food lasted. They said that it lasted perfectly-except that on the last night they were left with two bags of tomato sauce (with Italian seasoning), one bag of refried beans, and one of spinach. So they heated it all up together and made a “goulash.” Well, from my point of view, that sounded quite unappetizing, but they said that it was actually quite good. The point is, they don’t like to waste.

Since they’re sometimes on a different schedule than the rest of the Home, Rose saves their portion of dinner for them to eat when they have their dinner time. When it’s time for them to eat, they’ll ask what’s available, and many times they’ve chosen to eat leftovers that weren’t their favorite, just because they knew they wouldn’t keep another day and they didn’t want them to be wasted. It’s a sample that will always stick with me-that they keep the missionary vision. They could have pretty much anything they want-they sure work hard enough to deserve it, and they are the king and queen-but they live very simply. My understanding is that it’s for two reasons: 1, to live frugally so as to save as much of the Lord’s money as possible; 2, so that they stay on the same level as our missionaries who are out each day living by faith, abounding and abasing.

Another tiny example of their frugality is in the little box of tissues and pieces of paper towel that Mama keeps by her bed and beside her chair. When she uses one, but it’s not quite used, she keeps it to use again. When I was first starting to help clean their room, I used to want to throw them away. But she explained, “Oh no, I’ll keep those and use them some more. They’re not really used up yet.”

Another example of Mama and Peter’s sincere love for the Family and the sheep is manifested in their faithfulness to witness. It doesn’t matter how busy they are, or how tired after a long day of work and just wanting to relax and take an evening walk-they always witness. Whenever they go anywhere, a major highlight for them is always the people the Lord brought across their path to witness to.

One time Mama and Peter were taking public transport, and there was someone Mama wanted to witness to but she didn’t have a tract. Her eyes were very sore, but she was so concerned for this dear man sitting beside them that she got a piece of paper and wrote out a simple salvation prayer and message, and went and gave it to him. She didn’t know whether he’d be able to read it in English or not, but she figured he would probably be interested enough to ask someone to read it for him, and that he would have an opportunity to get saved. Her eyes were very, very sore after doing that, but she said it was more than worth it, because she was able to give that person a witness and opportunity to know Jesus.

Another example of their love is in the way that they’re never too busy for anyone. Of course, we on the staff try to be respectful of their work time and their rest times and all. We try not to disturb them unnecessarily. But there have been times when some of us younger members (I’m sure the first generation members have stories like this as well), have been really going through it about something, and would beep them or knock on their door for prayer, and they’ll stop everything, lay down on the bed with us, hold us and pray with us and cry with us, or try to cheer us up, as the case may be. And they would do that for anyone who needs it.

They were recently on a business trip and they gave a brief witness to a young man who worked at the place they were staying. That young man came by their room the night before they were leaving and wanted to talk-he was hungry and receptive and poured out his heart. Even though they were very tired and they were leaving early the next morning, Peter listened and witnessed to him for four hours, till midnight. That’s the kind of love they have. There is no doubt in my mind that we couldn’t have more loving and personally concerned shepherds.

One other very small point about Mama and Peter is that they are so appreciative. They’re the king and queen, after all, and so could come to sort of expect that people would take care of them, cook for them, type their tapes, or whatever. But they never take those things for granted. Sometimes it’s almost embarrassing, because you’ll do something that is so small by comparison, and they express such thankfulness and tell you how much they appreciate you and couldn’t do without you, etc. It’s just so sweet.

They start out their tapes that need to be typed by thanking the typist and whoever will do the work of what is being dictated, and sometimes will say a prayer for you. When they know something isn’t your favorite job to do, they take that into consideration and give you extra appreciation and credit. They always try to thank whoever cooked, or pass on their appreciation in some way. They start most Home meetings by thanking everyone for all that they’ve been doing, and specifically thanking the staff people for the things they’ve done recently.

They’re very appreciative of the staff people, especially those who don’t also have pubs ministries-as it would be natural for the hard-working staff to feel that their jobs are not as important. But they always emphasize that it’s just the opposite-that without the staff people, we wouldn’t be able to function. Seeing their sample of genuine appreciation, to me shows that they’re humble and they don’t take people for granted; they have sincere love and concern for their helpers.-And it’s constant. It doesn’t wear off after a while, and they’re not sweeter when they need you to do something for them. They’re just generally thankful and appreciative of even the littlest things.

I’m sorry about the negative allegations being spread around about Mama and Peter by someone who used to live with them long ago. These stories could cause serious doubt in someone’s mind who has never lived with them or met them personally. But since I’ve lived with them for these years, I haven’t found anything similar to what they’re being described as in these twisted accusations. I wish everyone could have the chance to meet them and live with them. To me, they are an example of what the Lord wants all of us, His representatives, to be. Because they give so cheerfully and humbly, I think we don’t often realize how very much they give, and how little they take. I just pray I can be more like that.

* * *

My Impressions of Mama and Peter

By Carmen, 27, CRO, Brazil

Because of what seems to be a recent wave of negative “publicity” about Mama and Peter, I want to relate my personal, firsthand experiences meeting and knowing them. These are totally contrary to many of the things that have been circulating as of late regarding their character-some of which come out to be quite ugly accusations and bear no semblance of truth to me. Quite frankly, such stories about Mama and Peter don’t hold water, in my opinion, because I know them and have a totally different point of view.

Lest anyone be mistaken and think that I’m one of Mama and Peter’s little puppets or brainwashed little robots, I’d like to set the record straight. I am a Family member of my own free will. I may be young. I may be inexperienced. I know that there is so much ahead of me-wisdom to gain, lessons to be learned, experiences to be had, and life to be lived. In spite of my youth and inexperience, or what to some may seem just plain naivety, I am also a mother, and before I think of myself, I think of my children.

I no longer live a “foot loose and fancy free” life. I have four little ones to think about, and their future is more important to me than my own. I love my kids more than anything in this world. They are the Lord’s most precious gift to me and I will give anything, do anything, be anything to help them along the road of life and help them reach and fulfill their destiny. I love the Lord, I want to serve Him, but I realize that I have a responsibility to my children and that the choices I make affect them and their future. This is constantly before me and causes me to be desperate with the Lord every day.

It’s nearly insulting to me that someone would think I can’t make my own choices, that I don’t have a mind of my own, or that I would let someone(s) impose their theologies upon me, leading me to do things that go against my principles. Ridiculous!

Why is it that only those who leave the Family are thought to have a mind of their own? Why can’t those of us who choose to be in the Family, who choose to dedicate our lives to serve the Lord and others be thought of as responsible, objective, idealistic maybe, but still sincere, and as having free will and a mind of our own? Obviously, those who left were free to think for themselves, otherwise why aren’t they still “cooped up” in the Family? They were obviously free to choose as we are, as I am. It’s absurd to think that my choice to stay in the Family should reflect some sort of weakness on my part, or that it should indicate that I have a weak mind that can’t think for itself and is influenced by all our doctrine. If I am influenced by our doctrine it’s because I choose to be. I am free to choose what I want to believe. So far my place is in the Family.

Having said the above, I hope to dispel any mistaken idea that what I have to say about Mama and Peter or my impression of them is totally colored by “the brain cloud” that us “poor young victims” aren’t free to think for ourselves. We are free! I thank God for it! What I feel about Mama and Peter is my opinion. Others may feel differently, but we’re all entitled to freedom of speech and belief. Below is my very frank assessment, impression, and experience, having met Mama and Peter personally.

My hope is that it will be clear that not everyone that knows them has bad things to say about them. That those who have been affected by the opinions of detractors will see that there is a wide range of reactions, opinions, feelings, thoughts, and positions concerning Mama and Peter’s character, and it would be simply unwise to make decisions for or against them based on one negative letter or report. We all know the way of rumors. We’ve all had gossip get back to us about ourselves, and it’s usually pretty distorted truth. Sad. We’ve all been hurt by that and wished so hard that we could explain things as they were from our point of view and somehow undo the damage caused by such ugly stories being spread about us. To believe or accept any one person’s story without weighing everything in the balance and getting a well-rounded picture would be, in my opinion, unintelligent.

OK, enough of that. (Sorry, I just can’t help but feel slightly offended by those who pity me or feel I can’t stand on my own two feet just because I happen to like the Family, and have had good experiences with Mama and Peter.)

*

The first time I met Peter, I have to confess that I was surprised at just how normal he was. I expected more of a “king.” Not that he isn’t one in his special way, but when I thought of “king,” I thought of strong, overbearing, pompous, maybe even arrogant, domineering, or bossy. It sounds kind of silly putting it on paper like this. Peter was totally opposite to the picture of “king” that I had in my mind before I met him. I know now, not only from our first meeting, but from getting to know him more personally, that he’s anything but arrogant, domineering or bossy. He’s a totally normal guy! He’s tons of fun! He’s really very sweet and makes you feel like you’re important (definitely a must for anyone who wants to be truly great)! And I’ll tell you what the best part about him is-he’s sincere. I have felt that Peter truly admires and loves each Family member. His heart is broken for those of us who struggle with any burden or worry. His driving passion is to reach the world with the Gospel and to help Family members in any way possible to achieve that goal.

Once when Peter was visiting the Family in our area, Mama kept trying to make sure that he would get the rest he needed. Meeting so many people all at once is overwhelming for anyone, and I’m sure even as Jesus experienced, it can be tiring to pour out so much love or “virtue” all at once. So Mama was concerned that Peter pace himself and not overdo, especially because of his weakened heart. I was totally touched to see Peter’s reaction in which he almost argued with Mama that he couldn’t help but want to meet each and every Family member he could. He went on and on about how each one is so sweet, so precious, how each one was so unique and special and he didn’t want to miss the privilege of meeting them himself. These are the people that he lays down his life for, the ones he spends every moment trying to help, support, encourage, be of assistance to, etc. That really stuck with me, and it’s been reinforced every time I see him.

As far as Mama and Peter being open to ideas, my experience is that they are very open to change, to new ideas, to wanting to constantly improve and make things better for us. Peter is also open to all of the above in regards to our opinions about WS. I’m not saying that he loves to hear complaints, or that he enjoys hearing things that we feel should be changed. I’m sure he’s sensitive about certain things (remember I said he was a normal guy?), but he’s not afraid to hear about it, he’s not afraid to face those things and do his part to make things better. I take my hat off to anyone who can do that, wouldn’t you? I often wish I could accept “constructive criticism” more graciously, and I have to say that Peter is a sample of not only accepting it, but even encouraging us to feel free to give it.

I’m happy with how what I express to Mama or Peter actually means something to them. I’m sure I’ve written them a lot of stupid things and that I’ve made some pretty off-the-wall comments, but I’ve never felt that they thought that about what I’ve written or said. In fact, I’ve been surprised at how they respond to things that I bring up to them. I’ve had questions about things written in the GNs, about certain ways of presenting things, etc., and you know what-something was done about it! I was almost scared, like, “Whoa! I’d better make sure I’m really saying what I mean to say!” I know for a fact that all of my comments are brought before the Lord, and Mama and Peter do pray about it, but it’s really neat to feel like you can make a difference in your “government,” that your voice is heard and heeded. That means a lot to me. I also know that there are many other young people, in fact I think we all have that same freedom to speak up about things, and we also can have confidence that Mama and Peter take our opinions seriously and consider them important.

Mama and Peter feel that Family young people are important. Our happiness is a priority to them. I’m impressed with the importance that they place on what we need and what we have to say. Some probably think, “Yeah! Of course they do! It makes’m look bad that we all want to leave!”

Clarifications:

1. We don’t all want to leave! There are many young people in the Family who are perfectly happy! H-A-P-P-Y! Very, very happy! We’re fulfilled; we’re inspired; we have so much to look forward to and be excited about! We see the Lord moving and working! We see the effect we’re having on the world through each little life we help to change, through each heart that we bring Jesus to! It’s not that we don’t have rough times. But from very dear personal friends who have left the Family, I’ve learned that anywhere you go you will face struggles and hardships. That’s a good reason for me not to trade what makes me feel so happy and fulfilled, and helps others find lasting happiness, for a different set of difficulties, along with lonely emptiness.

2. Mama and Peter aren’t all that concerned with “looking good” themselves. What they want is for us to feel that we look good! They want us to feel proud of what we choose to be, and if there is anything that they can change within the Family, if there is any improvement they can make for us so that we’ll be happier, then that’s what they consider important. Our happiness as the younger generation is important to them. Not so they can “keep us,” but so that the destiny of the Family can be carried out as the Lord intended. Obviously the Lord intended that there be a second and now even third generation within the Family, as otherwise He could have come 20 years ago before we were born. He didn’t, so obviously we’re supposed to be here and we’re part of His plan. Mama and Peter realize that we are an important, in fact, a major part of the Lord’s plan for the Family. Their desperation to change things for us and improve the Family for us reflects their fear of the Lord in wanting to make sure that the Family carries out what the Lord intended it to and that we don’t miss the mark as far as what we’re meant to be. I think such open-mindedness, fear of the Lord, sincere concern and action certainly calls for respect and admiration. This desire and concern on their part for my happiness, well-being and fulfillment wins my respect for them. It’s more than I can say for other societies who don’t seem to give a damn about their youth. (At least that’s how their youth feel!)

I think it’s so cool to be part of something different from the norm, even if it is a little odd! Like going down in history as being part of some really far-out rock group or some famous expedition or discovery, or something neat like that. Only the best part is that we’re not “going down” in history, we are MAKING HISTORY! Even if nothing ever happened (unrealistic proposal as the Family has already “made news” in history and changed millions of lives forever), it’s still more exciting and more of a thrill to live your life with purpose, believing in something, rather than living the daily monotony without any goal or purpose. To me that’s not really a life!

*

It’s funny to me to think back before I met Mama and Peter. I had this feeling like, “When I meet them I’m going to have to be on my very best spiritual behavior. I’d better make sure that my sword is sharpened, my prophecy skills are honed and that I’m … (long list of things to make sure I would do when with them). The strangest thing happened. As soon as I met Mama I had this overwhelming feeling that all of that (all the stuff I was hoping really hard I’d be able to do to make a good impression) didn’t matter to her!

Now let me explain that. Of course Mama believes in all of the above and believes that it’s the best thing for me too, but it was an amazing revelation to see that my sword being sharp is between the Lord and me. My practicing the gift of prophecy is between the Lord and me. My using the new weapons is between the Lord and me. The last thing I felt was that she was watching to see how I was doing. (Maybe she was and I just don’t know it, ha! But in that case, she wasn’t too hard on me ’cause I still am not “skilled” in the spiritual weapons and she didn’t mention anything about it.) I didn’t feel any pressure to perform. I didn’t feel “out of it” or really “unspiritual” or like she was constantly harping on those issues.

If I could put one thing across to you, it’s this: What Mama writes and publishes in the GNs, she does with the most sincere intentions of following the Lord, believing what He says, believing that it will make your life better in some way. It was so amazing to feel how strongly it all came back to “It’s between me and You, Jesus!” I don’t think it mattered all that much to Mama how much I did or didn’t prophesy, as long as I was trying to move ahead at my pace, for my own sake, so that through my following the tips the Lord gave I could receive His many rich and full blessings.

On our first little meeting with Mama and Peter, we talked about a variety of subjects, and changed the subject several times before Mama perked up with, “Oh! Maybe we should acknowledge the Lord before we change to our next subject. You poor guys! How can we expect you to make this a habit if we’re not going to be a sample of it ourselves! I forgot! I’m sorry! Jesus, precious Love, thank You for Your patience with us….” I was shocked at how very sincere Mama is. She was “working on” the same things I was trying to do and improve in my walk with the Lord.

What she puts in the GNs is what the Lord gives and what she is striving to live. If I could describe Mama in one word (which is impossible), I’d say she’s genuine! She’s genuinely loving. She’s genuinely sincere in her love for the Lord and wanting to please Him. She’s genuine in her praise or compliments. She’s genuine in her correction. She’s not trying to make any sort of impression or trying to have any sort of front. She’s totally free to be herself, and she makes you free to feel the same. She made me feel like I didn’t have to “be on my best behavior,” almost as if she didn’t even care, because she trusts that I love the Lord and that was most important. She made me feel that I could be the way I am. In fact, she made me feel encouraged! I didn’t feel like I had to watch my words and measure everything just right. I didn’t feel strange at all. She’s been like that every time I’ve seen her. She’s natural and makes me feel natural too. There’s no big pressure in any way.

It’s not like Mama and Peter expect this incredible amount of respect. I respect them as I respect others, like Juan, or my parents, and many others that have lived the life of faith. I just can’t picture them being the way some people make them out to be. They just aren’t like that. They are loving-very loving in the way of being considerate, concerned, affectionate, thoughtful, etc.

One night I was having a conversation with someone and Mama was in the next room. She came through the room we were sitting in on her way to a meeting. She heard that I wasn’t feeling well (being 3 months PG), so she took several minutes to get me tissue, water, pillows, put on some music, get me a bucket (in case I got sick again), etc., etc. It was so cute! I kept telling her that I was fine and trying to thank her, but she kept doing all these little things like they were the most natural thing for her and she wouldn’t think of walking by without making sure I had everything that I needed. That really touched me, mainly because, as I said before, she’s so genuine. She had nothing to gain from me for doing that. She wasn’t trying to impress me either, because she’s like that with everyone. She’s just loving and concerned about others and that comes natural to her. Insincerity is so easily recognized, and I have yet to see any of that in either Mama or Peter.

Okay, let’s say that Mama and Peter did just put on a show for me. How then should I explain all those who live in their Home who are remarkably concerned, loving, kind, considerate, and thoughtful too? I can only guess that they have learned to be that way from Mama and Peter’s treatment of them and their day-to-day sample and interaction with them, which I saw throughout the whole time I was there. The people I met there are so sweet! They are so normal too, and they know how to have fun-and I mean a real good time! They work hard, pray like everything depended on it (mostly for requests from the Family on the field), treat each other so sweetly and respectfully, show appreciation. They are neither lofty (all those important secretaries and pubs people getting their hands dirty scrubbing pots and pans, mopping floors, etc.) nor are they condescending in any way. I felt like they were so happy to have us there and sad when we left. They’re all such humble people and they show it through loving behavior, even amongst themselves. So either everyone put on a long show for us (sounds pretty corny!) or that’s the way they are. If WS is “weird,” well I wouldn’t mind having a little more of that “weirdness” in my life and Home.

I didn’t see anything weird, and believe me, I was looking! I think we all secretly wonder what it’s “really like” in WS. Well, from what I’ve seen, I can only say I admire people who are willing to work that hard to put out so much for the Family. I felt small compared to them, because I get the blessing of being out here where I can see the fruit of what they labor for day and night. I get to save souls, witness freely in the name of the Family, see the teens all flip out over the pubs. I see the GNs that bring timely counsel to needy situations and encouragement that helps save someone’s service for the Lord. It’s a reward to see so much fruit and it greatly strengthens my faith.

These people are so sweet, they plug along day after day doing whatever it is they do to help get out the pubs, and they’re so cheerful about it. Each person is a unique (very unique) individual with personality traits, little quirks, peculiarities, strengths, talents and gifts, which makes each one special. Some are serious, some are funny, some are hilarious, but all are precious, loving, and kind. And I also noticed that they were happy to be where they are. Come to think of it, there are several people that I knew and lived with prior to their joining WS, and they are still the dear, sweet people I’ve always known. They didn’t get weird, nor were beaten into submission or “yieldedness” out of fear of Mama and Peter. From what I noticed, they all have a very friendly and sweet relationship with the Folks. I would have been concerned for my friends if I would have seen them carry a broken spirit or dying inside from coercion or fear. I also know that my friends are there of their own free will.

I can’t even believe that someone would buy the line that people in WS are bullied into submission, held against their will through fear, or have to “buckle under or else.” It’s absurd. There are a lot of young people in WS. If WS has discovered a secret weapon of how to get so many diverse and strong-willed young people to comply with “rules” and do things against their will-let’s just say that there are millions who couldn’t pay a sum large enough for such a secret or key to help them get their kids or youth to submit, comply, conform, abide by, and obey someone or something they didn’t want to! No, there is no such secret weapon, because those who are in WS want to be there. They must be happy and feel fulfilled! Why not? I thought it was a pretty cool place myself, mostly because of the great people that are there and the Lord’s loving Spirit which they carry.

During a time I spent alone with Mama, I was so thankful and relieved to be able to unburden my heart about the difficulties I had experienced over the last several years. Besides some very personal trials, I expressed how tough it had been for me having a very demanding ministry, moving around constantly, not having a “home,” and being pregnant or nursing all the time. I was having a hard time finding the balance between being a mother and keeping up with my ministry and work. (I’m sure every mom faces this every time a new little one comes along.)

I was expressing that I was afraid to keep having so many kids so close together, that I wouldn’t be able to train them properly, etc. In the back of my mind I was sort of expecting Mama to give me a good faith-building speech about “trusting the Lord” and continuing to “Go for the Gold.” Mama was very understanding and sympathetic while taking in the big picture of what I was going through. One thing she said really surprised me though, specifically about the “having lots of kids” issue. She didn’t give me a big speech about anything. She didn’t for one moment make me feel condemned about anything. She didn’t really even say all that much other than to encourage me that she understood the magnitude of the responsibility I felt. In fact, she even burst into tears at one point, which I felt bad about, but which seemed to wash away my hurt somehow. She prayed and asked the Lord for His strength for me, for His grace, and she committed all my cares to the Lord.

Afterwards in casual conversation she said, “You know, you can ask the Lord for some time before your next baby. You can tell Him how you feel and what you have the faith for and ask Him for a longer stretch between pregnancies.” That totally surprised me. I’m not saying that Mama is advocating “prayer against pregnancy,” but the point here was that no matter what the “prophecy” said, Mama was telling me that I had to have the faith for what I do. That’s what it all boiled down to once again; this was between the Lord and me. She didn’t start trying to bully me into doing the “right thing” according to prophecy and push me to have faith for something.

I felt totally in control of my decisions and will at that moment. I had all the power of majesty of choice and in no way was Mama trying to push me one way or the other. She simply offered a way that I could come to grips with my faith and make sound decisions accordingly. Her whole sample and way of being is like that. I’ve never once felt from her that she used prophecy to make me do something I didn’t want to, or even do anything at all. I don’t know how things can get so twisted to where someone could say that the folks use prophecy to force people to do things. She has encouraged me to ask the Lord about questions that I have or about things that I wanted to do, etc. I think that’s a good thing, because every time I’ve been so thankful for what I received from the Lord.

One thing I’ve learned is that no matter who gets a prophecy for me, I have all the freedom I want and need to hear from the Lord myself and make sure that that’s what He’s telling me before I make any decision. I not only have that freedom, but actually that responsibility. When it comes to the big and important things, it’s crazy to go ahead and do or not do something without hearing from the Lord about it yourself first, or only going on a prophecy someone else gets for you.

To me, the whole point of prophecy is for my benefit. It’s so that I can have something from the Lord to lead me the way He wants me to go, and then have something to refer to for strength when things get tough or my faith falters. God forbid that I should have to look back on a decision I made, whether or not it was based on prophecy and have to come to the realization that I didn’t seek God myself and went blindly by what someone else got from the Lord for me without having the faith for it. I’m happy and thankful for those who hear from the Lord for me. It’s strengthening, but I can’t “blame” them, or prophecy, or Mama and Peter who emphasize prophecy, for things that go wrong. That’s getting a little too childish.

It’s not like I don’t have questions about prophecy, even doubts sometimes. It’s not like every prophecy that is pubbed is oh so totally easy for me to accept. I tend to wonder who the channel is, what they knew about the subject beforehand, how they got those specific details, and sometimes I just plain have a hard time accepting things. But just as I have to honestly face the fact that I question and doubt prophecy at times, I have to be just as honest with myself that what I have tried has proven to work for me! It’s like Dad’s old Letter about electricity. I may not understand it or know all there is to know about it, but I’m sure as Heaven glad that I can use it, because it works.

That’s what I’ve found out about the new weapons and prophecy. They work for me! They make my life soooo much easier. I don’t understand it, I don’t know how that is, but it’s a fact. IT WORKS! So that gives me faith that no matter what may seem “far out” to me, all I have to do is give it a try! If it works, great! I haven’t lost anything; in fact, I’ve gained. But what if I don’t try and miss out on the benefits? Then I’ve lost something. It’s not like I’m a super spiritually minded person and love only the purely spiritual. It doesn’t come so totally natural to me to accept and believe everything I read in the Word. I like to prove it first! Maybe that’s not so good and I should be willing to accept it all totally by faith. But even the Lord has said that we can “prove” Him. The times I have, He hasn’t failed. In fact, it’s only made me more convinced that we indeed have a priceless treasure that the whole world can benefit from, and will someday. “Oh taste [or try] and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man that trusteth in Him.”

Though it took getting used to the amount of prophecy that we have and use nowadays, it shouldn’t really be a surprise to us that the Lord is leading this way. I was pondering the verse, “It shall come to pass in the Last Days, saith God, I will pour out of My Spirit upon all flesh.” That got me thinking. Pouring out His Spirit upon all flesh-that’s a lot of Spirit being poured out! “Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams.” Why am I surprised at the sudden increase in “Spirit,” “prophecy,” “dreams and visions”? It’s one more sign that we’re living in the Last Days. Of course, if you refuse to face that fact, then I can see why it might be hard to accept that the Lord is pouring out His Spirit in such great measure, but it doesn’t change the fact that He is.

I can’t say whether all the accusations brought against Mama and Peter are true or false. I can only tell you what I have experienced. I can tell you that my whole life in the Family has been a wonderful experience. I have parents who love the Lord dearly and have served Him since before I was born. They have proven over and over to me that the life of faith is a life of joy, blessings, and fulfillment. They have never lost by giving to others, or giving of themselves to the Lord. They have been through the good and the bad in the Family and they are thankful for the Words of life. I’ve come to treasure the heritage of faith that they’ve given me, which they received from Dad.

I’ve come to realize the Word we have in the Family is where it’s at for me. It gives me peace and faith. It gives me answers to the questions I have. It opens up doors to other realms that help me see things in a clear and positive light. It feeds my spirit and satisfies my hunger, quenches my thirst. I’ve met so many who search for that and haven’t found it anywhere else. If I have found what satisfies me, then I don’t need to “search.” I want the Word-it’s the “joy and rejoicing of my heart.” I’ve found what I’m looking for, the lamp that lights my path.

One reason that I accept our doctrines is that they are all based on Scripture. The Family was born and continues to live, based on the Bible. That’s the Word for me, and as long as we can stand on Scripture, we’re building our work on safe and solid ground.

I also love that verse, “If this counsel [or doctrine] or this work be of men, it will come to naught. [You might as well not waste your time and effort trying to “ruin” us.] But if it be of God, no man can stand against it, lest haply ye be found to fight against God.” So to those who don’t like Mama and Peter, don’t worry. If this work isn’t really God’s work, it’ll fade out, and we’ll all see we were wrong. I’ll gladly eat humble pie if that day ever comes. In the meantime, I know I’m not hurting anyone and I’m helping to make the world a better place. I’m thankful for how Mama and Peter have helped me personally, as well as how they strive continually to help the Family reach more lost, spread more Gospel, and be closer to Jesus.

Mama and Peter, keep up the good work! I’ve seen God’s anointing of love, meekness, and conviction in you. I’ve seen your broken heart for lost souls. I’ve seen your concern and interest in each precious Family member. I’ve seen your desperation with the Lord, your humility in confessing you don’t know what to do and you’re just following Jesus. I’ve experienced your sample of depending on the Lord, and you’re leading us to do the same. I’ve seen you broken and weak and felt the Lord in you strongly. I feel thankful, privileged, and happy to serve the Lord with you and alongside you. I pray that I’ll be faithful to this calling, which I’m certain is God’s will and His call for my life, all the days of my life.

I don’t know if everything that people say about you is true or not. I don’t know if the “stories” about WS are true or not. What I do know is that it’s not true of you today, it’s not true of WS today, and that’s what’s important. I’m sure we all have our share of mistakes, embarrassing moments, etc., that we’ve learned from. Wouldn’t it be great if we could put our past through Microsoft Word so that we could rearrange things, cut, delete, copy, paste, align, etc. There’s not a person in the world who wouldn’t do things differently if they could do them over. But the important thing is what we are today, what we’re striving for today, what we’re making of ourselves and others today.

I think the Family has a wonderful today and an even more glorious tomorrow to look forward too. And even our past and our yesterday have served us well. We’ve dealt with things a lot more objectively then many governments deal with their past or problems. I’m proud of our nation because it’s made up of individuals who love the Lord more than anything else and are doing their best to spread the light and love of God’s truth to a spiritually starving and love-famished world, in spite of the fact that we’re all imperfect human beings.

That reminds me! One day I went for a walk with Mama and she went through a good deal of “trouble” to make sure that we had sufficient tracts with us on our get-out walk. And she was faithful to get them out too. I love that about her! She believes what she preaches and lives it too.

* * *

A Heart of Compassion

By Ivy, Mama’s Home

My name is Ivy. I’m an FGA, and I’ve lived and worked with Mama and Peter for the past seven years. I haven’t always lived in the same house as them, but for the most part, I have. During the last four years I’ve had the privilege of working closely with Mama as one of her personal secretaries.

Because of the nature of my ministry, I’ve had to be privy to confidential Family matters having to do with people’s lives, leadership, problems in the Family, etc. I know it’s a serious responsibility and I take it very seriously. At times I’ve been privy to the counsel that Mama and Peter give our leadership about problem situations, or the prayers they pray concerning our Family and its missionaries on the field and our leaders. Basically, you could say that I’ve often been “in the know” about Mama and Peter’s feelings and reactions to situations and people, their prayers and the counsel they’ve offered.

If there’s one thing that has never failed to impress me about Mama and Peter, it’s that they’re not critical, they’re not self-righteous, and they’re not quick to judge or condemn people. When I first became Mama’s secretary and knew about a certain problem situation, my inner reaction at the time was a little along the lines of, “Wow, those guys are kind of out of it.” I don’t remember the exact situation or people involved, but I do remember my attitude was more or less that Mama would probably say something corrective about their attitude, or that her words would be something along the lines of, “Boy, our Family people!” That may be what I would have thought or said, but not Mama!

Instead, Mama never stopped talking about how much the Lord loved them. No matter what battles and obstacles they were facing, no matter what problems they were having, the first thing she had to say about the situation was how much Jesus loved them. I can honestly say that in my four years of being one of Mama’s secretaries, I’ve never heard her belittle or berate people, look down on them, criticize people, or act like she was upset with people. Well, one time I remember she was a little “heated” in the way she talked about a situation that she had to explain to me, but then afterward she apologized for presenting it that way.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been working almost my entire Family life of 25 years on being more loving, patient, understanding, merciful, and all those wonderful qualities that we all want, and that I see in Mama and Peter. I haven’t worked under another shepherd that comes anywhere near Mama’s love for people. She has a real gift of God’s love and faith in people. When I first came to Mama’s staff I worked in the kitchen for several years, but one day they needed another secretary and Mama had the faith that I could do it. I think everyone was surprised that I could do it, especially me!

I understand that when some people leave the Family and the Lord’s full time service, they battle bitterness, and for some people extreme bitterness, but all I can say to our detractors who would like to paint a picture of Mama or Peter as terrible tyrants who are in it for their own gain, is that they’re wrong. I personally believe that our bitter detractors, like James Penn, are just living proof that these are the Last Days and the love of many is waxing cold, and some are being given over to strong delusion.

I’ve transcribed hundreds of personal tapes from Mama involving either her work on the Lord’s Words, her counsel to Family people, her counsel to her personal staff and WS shepherds, her prayers and heart cry to the Lord, and I can assure everyone that Mama has a heart of love and she’s in it for the Lord.

One other situation that comes to mind was concerning the possibility of inviting a woman to join our Home, but because Mama knew this woman was in love with a man in another WS unit, she was very considerate that the woman not feel obligated or pressured to do something that she wouldn’t be happy with or have the faith for. Mama made it clear that it was completely up to the woman, that she [Mama] didn’t want her to join our Home if she [the woman] felt it would be too difficult for her to be separated from the man she loved. In this particular case, the woman chose not to join Mama’s Home at that time. This is just one of many, many examples that have impressed me over the years, where Mama and Peter have been genuinely concerned about people’s feelings.

We might tend to think that people should just endure hardness as a soldier and “just do it for the work’s sake,” and sometimes that might need to be the case, but I’ve seen Mama sacrifice the work in favor of people’s feelings and happiness. They really are considerate of people’s feelings and needs and will do their best to accommodate people, even to the sacrifice of the work.

I’m proud to be in the Family. I’m proud of the things we stand for and that I’ve had the privilege of serving the Lord in the Family for the past 25 years. There isn’t anything about our standard or beliefs that I think is “weird” or that I don’t agree with or want to try to live. I’ve had lots of battles and trials, and some very intense ones over the past year, but I know without a shadow of a doubt what the Lord’s calling is for me-to serve Him full time in the Family.

I plan to stay in the Family. I don’t have a problem with people who feel called to do something else, but I don’t think it’s right for former members to slander the Family or Mama and Peter. I think they need some serious help to get rid of their bitterness. Our detractors probably won’t believe this, but I’d like to put it here for the record anyway-I’ve never heard Mama and Peter speak badly of you. They actually pray for you.

For some reason, some of our detractors seem to think we’re forced to be in WS, but I’ve personally never felt forced to remain in WS or in Mama’s Home. When the GPU was opening up a few years ago, Mama asked me to pray and see if the Lord wanted me to join their team because she knew they would need more staff and helpers. She said she didn’t really want me to go and she was hoping the Lord would want me to stay in her Home and continue my ministry, but that she wanted me to be open to the Lord’s will. She told me she wanted to be open to the Lord and whatever He wanted, even though she’d prefer me to stay. I’ve seen her have this same attitude over and over of wanting to be open to the Lord’s will, in spite of what she preferred. She really does want what the Lord wants.

When she explains something to me that she wants me to hear from the Lord about, she’ll often remind me with something like, “Now, Ivy, you need to be sure you’re open to the Lord, and even though I’ve explained my thoughts, maybe the Lord wants something different. So really pray to be open to whatever He wants. We just want to know His mind and be open to the way He wants it done.”

I can testify to what Dad taught us about people-by their fruits you shall know them-and in my seven years of living and working with the folks, I’ve never seen the type of things our detractors accuse them of. They really are like the Letters portray them and I have no doubt that if you were to visit Mama’s Home, that’s the way you’d find them too.

They’re here to serve you, the Family, and that’s what they do day and night, with a lot of love and prayer and faith in us all. I’ve never met people in my entire life as honest, sincere and dedicated as Mama and Peter.

* * *

Meeting Mama!

By Naomi, 23, CRO, EURCRO

The very first time I had the opportunity to meet Mama, I was very happy and excited, yet I was a bit nervous at the same time. (Editor’s note: Mama and Peter had to make a business trip, and during the course of their trip, stopped for a brief visit at the CRO office.) Just a few days before, I had written her and Peter a letter expressing some of my battles and trials regarding my job as a CRO. I was battling a lot at the time, and I expressed to them that I’d been tempted to step down from my responsibilities, and shared my battles and trials with them. Although I had decided before writing them that I would not step down from my responsibilities and would carry on as long as the Lord wanted me to be a CRO, still, I felt bad for having felt that way, and I felt a bit condemned about all that I shared with them in the letter.

So when I met Mama, I was a bit nervous, wondering what she thought in light of the battles I had shared in my letter. The first thing she did when she saw me was just give me a big hug, and was so sweet and friendly. She put me at ease right away. She didn’t mention anything about my letter, but just lovingly hugged me and encouraged me.

Later we sat down together and she thanked me for sharing the things I did, and she prayed for me. She didn’t make a big deal out of it, or make me feel uncomfortable in any way, but she prayed a beautiful prayer, and was such a strength and encouragement.

I’ve heard some folks say that Mama and Peter don’t treat people very well, especially those who are not totally loyal and “on board.” Well, I’d have to say that at that time, it could have easily seemed to Mama and Peter that I wasn’t very “loyal” or “on board” in having these types of battles and wondering about my place of service, etc. But she treated me with such love and care, and I knew that she would love me no matter what I did-even if I were to step down from my responsibilities, or even leave the Family. I knew that she loved me and cared for me as a person.

In having met Mama personally, I can personally testify what a loving person she is. She is not some high and mighty queen that everyone has to bow down to. She carries herself just like anyone else. She interacted sweetly with my children and spent time talking with them and listening to them. She sat at the dinner table and ate the same food we ate. There was nothing she did that made me feel she was “above” me or that I needed to tip-toe around her. She is very down to earth and very normal.

It saddens me to hear the things some of our detractors say about our dear queen-saying that she is a manipulative control freak, that she only cares about herself, that she pushes her own way, etc. I’m sure our dear Family members would agree with me if they had the chance to meet dear Mama in person that she is so loving, so sweet and humble, and you can feel her love through the things she says, through the prayers she prays, through everything she does.

I was so touched to see her sample of praying about and for everything. In the course of our conversation, we talked about different situations and different people, and she would just stop and pray for each person and situation as we talked. At one point, Mama and I were talking about my 3^rd pregnancy, and she was asking me some questions about it, when she remembered that someone in one of the WS units had gone into labor earlier that day. She stopped right there and prayed a simple prayer for the woman in labor, and then we carried on with our conversation. She must have prayed for different people and situations about five or six times during the 45 minutes I spent talking with her. It is just a way of life for her, the way she operates, and it touched me to see how concerned she was about others, and praying for people and situations constantly. The love she has for people oozed right out, and it was very clear that she was not thinking about herself at all, but was always concerned about others.

I just wish it was possible for all of our precious Family members to have a chance to meet Mama, and any questions or doubts they may have will be gone in an instant when they see her smile, her loving and warm personality, her deep and sincere love for the Lord, her humility and desperation to stay on the right track to lead our Family. She is a queen to be proud of, and I’m so thankful for such a loving and concerned queen and shepherdess! No matter what others may say about her, I know from my personal experience in meeting her that she is very close to the Lord, very much in tune with the Family and its needs, full of love, care, and understanding for each person in the Family, and a beautiful sample of the Lord’s love, and no one can convince me otherwise!

* * *

I Should Know

By Keana (Techi), Mama's Home

I've lived in WS all of my life, and almost all of that time with Mom and Peter. So I know what it's like around here, and what it used to be like. Of course it's changed a lot, just as the Family's changed a lot from what it used to be. And thank God it has! There were times for everything, and mistakes were made, I'm sure, but I do know that Mom and Peter are in touch with the Lord. They're desperate to know the answers and do the right thing, and as a result, the Family has progressed and grown and is getting better and better all the time.

What I'm trying to say is, James hasn't lived with Mom and Peter for a long time, so I don't think he has any right to bill himself as some sort of expert on what they're like and what WS is like now. WS as a whole used to have a lot more little rules and regulations that we had to adhere to. I moved from Mom's Home into the unit where James was living when I was 16. He says she's a control freak, but in that unit that I moved to, he was in charge of security, and he was one of the most hard-line, heavy-duty rule fanatics I can think of! He would come up with all manner of extreme, unnecessary rules, and then become paranoid if people didn't follow them exactly. Talk about a control freak! But things are different now. It's like the day of choices; people are free to choose of their own accord if they want to be here, and as long as we're trying to make progress and to go forward with the Lord and in the direction He's leading, there's a lot of patience for people to progress at their own rate, to get in touch with the Lord themselves and let Him shepherd us.

That's what I think is funny about saying that she controls people through prophecy. Because most of the emphasis is put on personal use of prophecy and hearing from the Lord-to go to the Lord ourselves and get His direction personally. We have to work it out with the Lord and our faith. If she was so into trying to make the Family do what she wants through printing prophecies in the GNs, I'm sure she wouldn't be encouraging us all to get our own.

I haven't been what you would call a spiritual role model. I question things. I have my doubts. I'm not the first to jump into new things with both feet. It usually takes me a while to come around. At times I push the edge of the envelope, trying to get away with whatever I feel like. But I've never felt unloved or like they would give up on me. They know that I'm in the Family because I believe the Lord wants me here and I want to do the right thing.

Mom and Peter are the only ones I can think of that I'd want to be running our Family. I've been around them enough to know how much they love each one of us, and how our problems become their problems; they're happy when we're happy; they're sad when we're sad. Their whole lives are lived in service to the Lord and all of us.

* * *

They Do Really Care!

--The truth about living with Dad, Mama and Peter

By Rose, Mama's Home

My reaction when I hear these terrible accusations against Dad, Mama and Peter is that it makes me mad, sad and definitely not glad! The parts I've read have really made me upset, as they are for sure not true. Everything that is quoted to be the life of living with Dad, Mama and Peter is just the opposite! There just isn't any comparison! I thought I'd tell you a little of how it really is to live with them.

I came to live as a fulltime staff member with Dad, Mama and Peter in 1991, about 3 ½ years before Dad went to be with the Lord. (The first time I lived with them was in 1987 for seven months.) At this time, since Dad was getting older and needed more help, I was gradually with him fulltime and was his nurse and helper until the moment the Lord took him Home. During the time I've lived on the staff I have gotten to know Dad, Mama and Peter quite well and been with them on a daily basis. I've been with them and around them and have been partaking of their daily lives plenty over the months and years. Because I go in and out of their room often, I'm often privy to the things they talk about or the private conversations they're having. In the course of helping and serving them, I have naturally been around at different times when they have talked to people or about situations and personal matters, or made comments about people, and there is nothing that has stumbled me or come across as unloving or harsh. I can truly say and testify that they are the most wonderful and loving people I've ever known! They make you feel so appreciated and needed. To say that they belittle and abuse people is something that I certainly don't understand, as nothing is farther from the truth!

I'll start off with going back to the days living with Dad and give you a few examples. I have very specific memories of Dad and his unending thoughtfulness and unselfish care.

I remember clearly how he always used to pray for me at the end of the day and tell me how thankful he was for me. He would always ask me if there was anything that I needed. Here he was, often very sick and weak, couldn't eat much and not feeling well, and he would ask me how I was doing, if I lacked anything. Such a sample of the Lord's love of thinking of others instead of himself. I often cried in thankfulness, being touched by feeling the Lord's love and concern through Dad.

For example, there were times when he was very ill and sick, and he would get out of bed because he wanted to share the Lord's love and messages with us in a meeting. He then would ask us all how we felt, if any of us were sick or weak or in need of prayer. He checked if we were comfortable during the meetings, not too hot or cold. If anyone felt tired, he suggested they go and rest. It was like watching a miracle, as the Lord would anoint him so for the meeting and give him such supernatural strength and stamina which just wasn't there in the beginning. You knew it was the Lord's power and blessing through Dad thinking on the Lord and others above his own self. So to say that Dad was selfish, I just cannot understand at all.

Dad was always very concerned about each and every one of us on the staff. He would not rest until he knew that we were all okay, and would go way out of his way to make sure that everyone was happy and fulfilled. If there were any problem situations that needed help, he would counsel and do all he could to help.

Not only was Dad concerned about us all, but he also had a tremendous love and care for each and every one he came in contact with when out. He showed appreciation and love to all, from beggars and waiters and waitresses, to dentists and doctors-yes, to everyone. He was a faithful witnesser, always lifting up the Lord! He would point his finger up to Heaven and always make it clear that it's all glory to God and nothing in himself. Over and over he would emphasize that it was all the Lord. He didn't like it when people tried to give him the glory. People would feel the Lord's Spirit and would be drawn to him in admiration for the sample of the Lord's love that he showed. He was sure a testimony in everything that he did and said. He taught us when we were out to really care about the ones we came in contact with and be good testimonies to others.

Dad carried the Lord's message to us all, whether in the Family or out in the System, and even preached the Gospel to the animals and cared for them. He cared about any animal he encountered, and it was a great sample to me how he respected all living things and had a heart for everyone.

I must say that Dad was one of the most unselfish people I know! (The other two I'm thinking of are Mama and Peter.) He would give the clothes off his back and food off his plate to anyone who needed it. He never wasted anything, and that was really one of his strong points, to give! There just isn't any way you could call him selfish or inconsiderate. So many times it would make you so convicted to see his sample, and it sure made me pray to be more like him, which is of course what being more like Jesus is.

This is how Dad was until the day the Lord took him Home. He even wanted to go house hunting that very day, to help find us all a better place to live. His thoughts were of others, even until his earthly end! The Lord sure gave him a better place to live, and I'm so thankful that the Lord now has freed him from the flesh and taken him into the Heavenlies with Him where I know his rewards are great. And now he can continue helping us from the spirit and lead and guide and teach us!

Right now I'm using Dad as an example, but the same is absolutely true of Mama and Peter. I know that we all strive for more appreciation in our lives with each other, but I must say that I am eternally thankful for the time that I've had living with Dad, Mama and Peter, as I've experienced appreciation like never before, and seen true-to-life examples of how they care for the "little people."

I guess being on the staff, I've often thought of myself as a little person, as I don't have a specialized pubs ministry calling, but have worked more as a caretaker, cook, maid, done some secretarial work, etc. But one thing I would like to say is how Dad, Mama and Peter have always made me feel so appreciated and valued, and how they have never made me feel lower than anyone else. You experience an unconditional love, which gives you faith and encouragement to go on.

Another way that I can tell how concerned they are about others is how they value each person that they hear about or are in contact with. It really doesn't matter if it concerns a CRO or a VS or a member of our Home or another Home anywhere. They look at each person as a precious, priceless soul that the Lord has created, and are concerned about each and every one.

One of the most precious ways to see this is how they pray for these people. They can hear or read about someone, and they will immediately stop and ask the Lord to bless that person, or ask the Lord to help them if there is a problem, or heal them if they are sick, etc. I'm reminded of the verses that says that not one little sparrow shall fall to the ground except the Lord knows and allows it, and how each hair of our head is counted. This is how precious each one is to Mama and Peter.

Oftentimes when we have prayer at our mealtimes, Mama will call us on the intercom and remind us to pray for so-and-so and for such-and-such a situation. She and Peter are both such samples of believing in prayer and having the faith that the Lord will answer any petition, whether they're for our Home situation or for someone across the world, no matter how simple or complicated something can be. You just know that nothing is too hard for the Lord.

A beautiful sample of Mama and Peter's love for us all is how concerned they are about everyone's health and well-being. There has never gone a day but that they will ask how everyone is doing and feeling. If there are any health prayer requests, they will pray for that person and then also follow up later, asking others to pray too and check and see if they're getting better. It can be as simple as a headache or a stomachache or a dentist check-up, but nothing is too small for them to be concerned about. If there is anything of a serious nature, we are often called upon to do prayer vigils, and usually someone-or some ones-ask the Lord for encouragement and help for that person. I know that I have been taught some good lessons in being my brother's and sister's keeper, and it often convicts me to take time to pray and be concerned about others.

I have witnessed, and still do, countless occasions day by day, Mama and Peter taking time with people and situations, often sacrificing their time and schedule and health and going out of their way to help out in whatever the need is, in counseling, praying, etc. I have seen many lives changed because they took time to help someone in need. There are numerous people who can testify that Mama and Peter helped them to pull them through when they needed it.

I only had a short time of experience working under System bosses before I joined, as I was a student, but I must say that of anyone I have ever worked under, there is just no comparison to working under Dad, Mama and Peter. There are many wonderful Family leaders and shepherds who follow in the way of the sample that the Lord and Dad, Mama and Peter give. I do truly know that they are the ones leading the way and teaching us all how to be loving samples and shepherds to others.

One last thing I wanted to say is that I have never regretted the calling that I heeded to come and work as the Folks' staff member some years ago, and I know I will continue doing it gladly as long as the Lord wants me to. This has been one of my heart's desires coming to pass in my life, and I know that it's a priceless opportunity and privilege, which I am truly thankful for. So there is no need for you who read this to feel sorry for me, ha!

I pray that you will know the truth as you read this and other testimonies. There is really no end to wonderful examples to share, but I pray as you get a little glimpse through these paragraphs, that you will also be able to partake of the wonderful truth about the life of Dad, Mama and Peter. They love each one of us so and really give their lives for us daily. It seems that the least we can do for them is to stand up for them and the truth and resist the Enemy and his lies. We really owe them and Jesus so much for all they've done and sacrificed for us! Fighting for the truth seems such a small token of our love for them and the Lord, but it's worth it! Let's do it! I love you!

* * *

Interview with a Victim

By Kevin, WS

James Penn's letter is intriguing and well written. In fact, if I were the editor of a newspaper I might even consider publishing it. Of course, my newspaper would be a tabloid, and his article would reside adjacent to other literary works with titles such as "Woman Gives Birth to Two-Headed Alien" and "Dog Eats Dynamite and Explodes when Hit by Car." Much like the tabloids, while James' letter may contain some facts and figures to supposedly back up what he's expressing, they have unfortunately been twisted, exaggerated, and arranged in such a way as to conjure evil and sinister images in our minds.

It seems that ever since man has had the ability to put pen to paper (or chisel to stone), the world's leaders and celebrities have consistently become victims of character assassination. Regardless of their brave acts, triumphant victories, or selfless, world-changing actions, there always seems to be a cynical, hard-boiled detractor who feels it is his duty to wade through the sewers to collect the largest amount possible of hearsay and unfounded accusation. Then, in the name of "truth" and "freedom," he or she finds it necessary and noble to line us all up and hose us down with the goop, all the while proclaiming that our lives will be all the better for it. How brave.

For example, most Americans will admire Christopher Columbus for putting behind him the scoffs and doubts of the masses, to brave the seas and discover a whole new world of opportunity. In spite of his vision and courage, he is now being accused by a minority of historians of being an evil and depraved person, being directly responsible for the death, rape and torture of thousands of innocent people. Oh, yeah, and he apparently didn't really discover America.

Most people don't take that at face value, due to the lack of evidence; nevertheless, due to the nature of rumors you might still wonder what he did with those naked natives. Poor guy.

Mother Teresa, who gave practically every second of her life for the poor of Calcutta, was said to have "earned her halo through relentless self-promotion, abetted by various sinister interests." I didn't make that up; that's an actual quote from one of the aforementioned sewer junkies. I mean, think about it! What sort of "sinister interests" could an old woman have as she lived amongst the disease and squalor of one of the poorest locations on the planet? Maybe it was those naked natives again.

Pope John Paul is regarded by many to be none other than the Antichrist himself. It must be that fierce countenance. "Worship me! I am God! (Now where did I put my false teeth?)"

Then there's Moses, who may have been hiding hideous sins, and Jesus was considered a drunk and a devil. What's next? Was St. Paul a wife-beater?

Sad to say, our small Family of believers has not been exempt from the same sort of attacks on its leadership. So what can one do to stop this? Probably nothing, and that's very unfortunate. It is therefore up to the reader to be careful not to take such slanderous material at face value. Just because a tabloid says that Brad Pitt has a tail, you don't have to fall prey to their trickery and begin checking his butt during the Oscars.

Following is a question-and-answer survey that I put together from my personal, real-life experiences. This test is designed to help you measure how affected you are by groundless gossip and slander. Each question has multiple answers, but only one represents a real-life account, so choose your answer carefully.

During a meeting in which Peter discussed the Family's most pressing problems and needs, his speech consisted of (please choose the correct answer):

a. He laid down his and Mama's solutions to the problems, backed up with reams of confirmatory prophecy received by hand-picked WS prophets who have recently had their brains scooped out and replaced with an electronic device.

b. He began railing at WS leadership, placing the blame on them, and the rest of the Family while he was at it.

c. He proclaimed that the only way to overcome these problems is by having more Loving Jesus and Praise Time, and to make it mandatory 12 times a day. This was to apply whether or not you would be evicted if you did not raise your rent that day.

d. He said that the reason there are problems is that he and Mama do not have enough control over the lives of Family members, and that they planned on investing WS funds into a computerized bar code system and a homing device for each member. (This was accompanied by a sinister "muahahahahaha" laugh.)

e. He chuckled and said, "Aw, it doesn't matter," Jesus is coming back in a few years anyway.

f. We were told that no one person, not even he or Mama, is smart enough to come up with a solution on their own, so they wanted us to put our brains to some serious thinking and praying in order to come up with solutions.

If you chose a, b, c, d or e, you should refrain from reading stories about multi-headed aliens and detonating canines. If you chose answer f, then you are absolutely correct. Congratulations! Not only do you have a correct understanding of how the Folks work, but you probably don't believe Brad Pitt has a tail.

During a casual conversation, Mama asked me what I think of movies that are considered "foolish," and are not particularly hurtful, but have no real value except for entertainment. She did not seem to like them very much. My answer was that I actually like them; I occasionally enjoy "foolish" movies, as long as they don't poke fun at the Lord or serious situations. The result of this differing opinion was (please choose the correct answer):

a. She yelled, "You stupid, worldly idiot! You'd better get back on board or we're going to take the board to your back!"

b. Having never heard a differing opinion, her head began to spin and her outer hull cracked.

c. Six men wearing immaculate black suits and dark sunglasses jumped out of the closet, nabbed me, and began dragging me away, saying, "Looks like we need to put another bug in your bellybutton and take you through another brainwashing session."

d. She answered with, "That's very interesting. Thank you for your opinion."

Was your answer d? If so, then you are correct again! If not, then you probably have deep suspicions regarding the Pope, Moses, or St. Paul.

My experiences after having first arrived in WS were:

a) I was placed in a dark cell for three months to cleanse my brain of opposing opinions. The only activity I was permitted to engage in was prophesying.

b) I was forced to engage in sexual activity with partners chosen by Mama and Peter, and was required to participate in strange sexual rituals involving dozens of people and an assortment of tropical fruits.

c) I was forcibly placed on a chair in a cold, dank room with a single flickering light bulb, where I was repeatedly read the voluminous and bizarre rules of WS, interspersed with mafia-like threats.

d) Upon entering my bedroom I found a tastefully decorated appreciation basket complete with goodies and encouraging prophecies. All throughout the next week I was asked by several people, including both Peter and Mama (more than once), whether or not my room was adequate.

The one and only answer here is d. The others, as intriguing as they may sound, are drawn from a variety of movies with traumatic subject matter.

My wife and I were going on an extended trip, which would mean being away from the Home for some time. Before taking this trip, Mama and Peter did the following (please choose the correct answer):

a. Every day for two weeks prior to our departure we attended a continual stream of meetings with them, in which we were browbeaten and threatened to tell no one the truth of the harrowing experiences while at Mama and Peter's house.

b. Trick question! Once a member of the WS cult, always a member of the WS cult. Most people who have been caught attempting to leave WS, even temporarily, met with an "unfortunate accident."

c. Mama and Peter invited us to a simple meal in their room, at which we engaged in enjoyable get-to-know-each-other better conversation.

If you chose answer c, you got it right! If you chose answers a or b, you've probably been watching too many B movies.

Now for something truly juicy. Following is a fictional interview with a former member of WS, who, unlike James Penn, has actually lived with Mama and Peter recently and had frequent contact (well at least I, the writer, have). He has now broken out of this WS cult in order to break out of the Family cult, in order to get a job and make lots of money for himself and perfect strangers. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get the inside scoop on what it's like to be a WS member, and who the Folks really are.

(Interview begins:)

Interviewer: We have here with us in the studio a true former WS Victim. Thanks, Vic, for your participation in this interview. Say hi to all those people out there.

WS Victim: Hail Queen Mari ... Oh, I mean, Hello!

Interviewer: Tell us a bit about yourself. We understand that you were once part of not only a cult called the Family, but a cult within a cult called WS. Tell us a bit about this cult-cult.

WS Victim: WS is an elite group of weirdoes who all have one thing in common: they forgot to grow a brain. Since leaving the WS and Family cults, I have faithfully nurtured this brain by daily doses of "Baywatch," several cases of Diet Coke, and a computer game called "Granny Squish II." I'd say my brain is at about 30% now.

Interviewer: Well, that's really good news, Vic. How do you feel now that you can actually think for yourself?

WS Victim: It's just wonderful. When the boss tells me I have to "go ahead and come in for work on both Saturday and Sunday," I can think up for myself all kinds of evil things I want to do to him, and can even tell my friends about it. Before leaving the WS cult, I was constantly told to "ask the Lord if it's okay" when I had questions or needed some time off. WS leadership must have had some kind of psychological powers, because these "prophecies" would seem to answer my questions and tell me things like "you've been working too hard-why don't you relax and have a beer." That's just so strange.

Interviewer: How did you escape? I mean, escaping a cult is one thing, but having to escape from a cult-cult really takes the cake.

WS Victim: Oh, it was just a horrible experience. When I made the decision to leave, everyone acted like they still loved me and stuff.

Interviewer: That's interesting, but it sounds to me like they were just being friendly, sort of like loved ones saying good-bye.

WS Victim: I knew there had to be some sort of pernicious intention behind those smiles and sweet words of encouragement, etc. I suppose they were trying to brainwash me, but I held out, and now I can eat all the junk food I want.

Interviewer: So tell us a bit about "Mama and Peter." We've heard they are some kind of abusive despots who habitually lie and try to force people into submission. If this is true, then you who lived with them recently should be able to share some stories reminiscent of the Holocaust.

WS Victim: That's right, it was a living Auschwitz! We engaged in hard labor on a daily basis, and were subject to all kinds of psychological tortures.

Interviewer: Can you give us some examples?

WS Victim: Well ... uh ... for one thing we had to do dishes more than once a week. If we forgot to do the dishes, then someone else would often do it for us, maybe even let us know about it later. Though nothing physical happened as a result, I seem to remember abnormal amounts of psychological vibes from Mama and Peter when that happened, that seemed to say, "If you do that again we're going to tie you up and throw you into a dark, wet cell full of rats the size of Godzilla." I seemed to feel these vibes on numerous occasions.

Interviewer: We also heard that Mama and Peter do not tolerate dissenting opinions. How was this manifested?

WS Victim: While it's true that Mama and Peter spend a great deal of time counseling with other members of WS, and arranging delegates meetings with dozens of Family members on the field, in reality these policies are undermined by bizarre novels laced with the evil intentions of Mama and Peter.

Interviewer: But from what we heard, these novels are written by all types of people within the Family, both in WS and out, and that Mama and Peter have little to do with their content.

WS Victim: Well, I have a feeling that they somehow manage to sneak into the computer files when no one else is looking and place subliminal messages. It's not immediately apparent, but every time a child reads "Juanito's Christmas Tree," vile subliminal messages are being transferred to the innocent young reader's brain, such as, "You will be run over by a steamroller if you leave the Family when you grow up!" It's just not right.

Interviewer: Since as you claim, the WS cult is so weird, how do Mama and Peter keep them in line?

WS Victim: Through tactics that cause a great deal of fear. People in WS live in a constant state of fear that if they were to burn down the house or dump all of the computers into a nearby river, they will probably be asked to leave. Proof? On numerous occasions I noticed WS members typing at their computers at 1:00 in the morning, and I can only assess that fear robbed them of their sleep.

Interviewer: Tell us a little about these cult leaders and some of their supposed high levels of weirdness.

WS Victim: That's easy, because I was faced with it on a daily basis.

1. They both spend an amazing amount of time working, when they could be viewing "Baywatch" or shopping for Pokemon toys.

2. They call themselves a king and queen, yet live as frugally or more than an average Family community. If that's not eccentric, I don't know what is.

3. They try to relate to young people and understand what they're going through, when at their age anyone in their right mind would be spending their precious time watching reruns of "As the World Turns" and yelling at kids who are playing on their lawn.

4. They believe in Jesus way too much. It's just not right that they should be dedicating their lives to the cause of Christ, while encouraging others to do the same, including young people. Once you leave the cult and have the opportunity to step back, you realize that a missionary life is simply ludicrous when there are so many malls, yet so few young people to hang out in them these days.

Interviewer: We're almost out of time. In a few sentences expound upon why you feel Mama and Peter are the selfish, manipulative and egotistical leaders you make them out to be.

WS Victim: From time to time they discuss their own shortcomings and weaknesses with those around them, and act in what appears to be a humble manner, speaking very highly of Family members on the field. They weep for lost sheep or the problems the Family is facing, such as persecution by disgruntled former members. They spend time praying for individuals who they've heard are having battles, and do all they can to help. They appear personable and engage in casual, friendly conversation. However, under all those loving actions, that dedication to the Lord, the immense sacrifices they make on a daily basis, and their desperation to lead the Family in the right direction, there lurks a dark, creepy plot to "earn their halo through relentless self-promotion, abetted by various sinister interests."

(End of interview.)

Seeing that both Mama and Peter are open-minded and dependent upon the Lord and the help of others gives me solid faith in their leadership. I've been in the Family for a long time and have had a lot of shepherds, and from personal experience, can smell a hypocritical, egotistical leader from a mile away. But here's the inside scoop: I have no doubt in my mind that both Mama and Peter are competent, loving, and very sincere leaders. I say this not because of any secret coercing WS force, but because I have been personally convinced through critical observation.

* * *

No Regrets!-Why I’m Still in the Family and in WS!

By Misty, Mama’s Home

I knew James Penn fairly well in the past since we were involved in a relationship for a few years while we lived in the same WS unit. (This was up until about six years ago.) When I knew him, he was not particularly deep spiritually, but he was not vindictive or bitter. A personal NWO that he tried to fight was that he wasn’t spiritually hungry and needed to be regularly prodded to get in the Word. (By the way, in the Letter “On Guard,” Dad was talking to Peter about him.) In spite of these weaknesses, it was clear he loved the Lord.

During the years I knew James he consistently demonstrated a proclivity to accept the mindsets of the world over the Word-especially after his being deeply immersed in the court cases for a long time, which included his reading massive amounts of anti-cult propaganda. We all know how dangerous THAT is, having read “Faith Cometh By Hearing the Word” (ML# 2821), especially if you don’t take in sufficient antidote-the Word. I personally chose to bring our relationship to an end because his first reactions and attitudes were gradually going more and more the way of the world, and eventually it became too draining to have to listen to his persistent, non-Word-based arguments and conclusions. James knows this. He cried and I cried; it was a sad time.

James had not been strong in the Word for years before he decided to leave the GPU to become a Fellow Member in July of 1998, but I never thought he’d stoop so low as to write his “No Regrets” letter and to go on sort of a personal vendetta to try to destroy the people he used to love.

James’ account is history rewritten. He believes it, but there are many sides to the story left out, and the Word quoted is unbalanced or misinterpreted. Even though he does not admit it or possibly doesn’t even realize it, I believe he wrote that letter to cause as many people as possible to leave the Family. The way he does it is by attacking the character of Mama and Peter, because if he can get someone to doubt them, there is the possibility that that person will also doubt the Word they give the Family in the GNs. This is ultimately an attack on the Word, and an attack on each one of us.

If James had decided to leave the Family because he no longer felt it was the place for him or because he had differences with Mama and Peter, then fine. To each his own. I don’t have a problem with that, although I’m sorry to see his change of heart after we have fought together side by side with him for years. But this all-out assault on Mama and Peter with the intent to destroy others’ faith in the Lord’s Word is unconscionable. And the thing that angers me the most about it is that he is aiming his attacks at our kids! He’s trying to cause you, our second generation, to doubt, despise and turn your backs on Mama and Peter, and eventually the Family. He shows his true motive when he says:

“I feel sorry for the young people in the Family, who have their entire lives before them. What kind of a future will they have if they stay in the Family? My hope and prayer is that they will learn from our generation’s mistakes, and muster up the courage to leave.”

Man, if I were a young person in the Family and I read that, I’d be furious! Who does he think he is that he can tear down your faith and insult your intelligence and tell you that you should “muster up the courage to leave,” like you were idiots?! You’re bright, dedicated, thinking adults, and he has the gall to insinuate that you’re blind, controlled, abused, and wasting your lives. He’s trying to tell you what you should think and how you should live!

James doesn’t have any children. He has never been married; he has never had the awesome responsibility day and night, year after year of raising his children. He doesn’t know the joy that it is to have a child and watch that perfect treasure from Heaven learn to love and serve the Lord. He doesn’t know the passion with which a mother and father pour into a child, doing everything possible to prepare him or her for the tests and trials they’ll face in their life as a missionary. He doesn’t know the overwhelming joy it is to see your child grow up as a dedicated disciple, willing to forsake the world and the temptations of the System in order to embrace the high calling of being a child of David. He doesn’t know how much it takes before each young person is ready to make a commitment to the Family, including the sacrifices involved and the radical meat of the Word, and what a rejoicing of the heart it is when each one says “yes” to Jesus wholeheartedly.

Because he doesn’t know this, he also doesn’t know how absolutely and totally upset you can be as a parent when someone dares to intrude on that beautiful work of God with doubts from the Devil, misinterpretations, twisted stories, incomplete anecdotes, misapplied quotes or portions of Letters, and outright lies! I only have one child, and thank the Lord he is committed and strong in faith. But I know that James’ letter has so discouraged and stumbled some kids that they have decided to leave the Family. That is so sad! Poor James!-Some day he’ll be so very sorry. He says “no regrets” now, but some day he’ll have plenty of regrets! God help him!

All I can say to you who are fighting in prayer for your children’s future in the Family, and you (young and old) who have been confused by his letter and others like it, is that it’s a privilege to tell you what I know to be the truth about Mama and Peter.

z

I have been in the Family since January of 1972, and in WS since March of 1989. I lived for six years in a major pubs unit that was first called “Creations” and then later called “Research.” That unit was located in the same city as Dad and Mama’s Home. In early 1994 Dad and Mama and their team moved to a different city. A year later, right after Dad’s homegoing, I was invited to join Mama’s Home. That was the first time I met Mama. That was five and a half years ago.

I am Mama’s executive secretary. I think it’s safe to say that I know Mama well as my queen, shepherdess, co-worker, mate and friend. I can testify from personal experience about her character, her relationship with the Lord, the priorities she has in her life, her manner of shepherding and working with people, and her work on the GNs. Mama and I talk a lot; that is because I help Mama with whatever she needs me to do related to her GN work, her personal communications with others, questions she asks me to pray about, etc. Many (but not all) days we talk together for a significant amount of time; some days when there’s a lot to discuss we talk for extended periods of time. Our conversations are extremely varied. While most of the time we talk about things related to work-such as the GNs in the works, recent messages the Lord and Dad have given, questions that need to be brought before the Lord, the needs and problems of the Family, or specific situations involving individuals and what they’re battling-we also talk a lot about personal things. Because Mama doesn’t put on airs, you really see her heart and get to know her and learn a lot through talking with her. She’s a real communicator!

I feel free to communicate with Mama about anything and everything. There has never been a person who knows me better than Mama, or with whom I have been more open and honest. There have been plenty of times when I’ve made some pretty ugly, negative, bummer tapes for her related to my personal battles. (You already know of most of these battles through the “Spiritual Attacks Intensified” GN and my personal testimony about living the Law of Love and overcoming jealousy.) I’ve also shared with her my questions and observations about prophecy, shepherding, Family problems, the Law of Love, etc. I’ve also had the privilege of sharing my deepest joys and victories with her.

Mama also has been open and honest with me. Besides our work, which is the main focus of our relationship and most of our conversations, we have also communicated with each other in detail about our marriages, our sex lives, our jealousy battles, our intimate loving Jesus experiences, and sometimes, for fun, about “girl things” such as new food and recipe ideas, our tastes in clothes, ideas on how to be more efficient and manage our time better (although that’s usually my woe/need, as in my opinion Mama is extremely efficient), etc.

I know Peter well. During the years I lived at Research I worked with him on many pubs. I also was his secretary at a number of Summits, which allowed me to get to know him more intimately. Since coming to live in his and Mama’s Home, I have not worked with him on a daily basis because I’m not involved in Family administration, but I have assisted him on a number of projects and with his work on some GNs. Of course, I see him frequently through our interaction in our Home.

Okay, so much for the background and what I do and what my relationship with Mama and Peter is. But I figure it’s important that you know this because there are others, like James, who portray themselves as knowing some supposed deep, dark, evil secrets about Mama and Peter. But bear in mind that James hasn’t lived with Dad, Mama and Peter for over 10 years, and hasn’t had personal contact with Mama for the same amount of time, and has only seen Peter a few times, for several days each time, in the last six years.

How I see Mama

Much has been written about Mama over the years-by Dad and by others who know her. When I was on the field, I never tired of hearing those personal details. I hope it’s not boring to you, but to begin with, I’ll give you some insight about Mama’s personality and character based on my contact with her.

• Mama loves Jesus more than anything or anyone else. That is so obvious. When you are with Mama or talk to her, you have a strong sense of the presence of the Lord-He is always there, you can’t miss Him, it’s almost tangible. It’s because He’s so much a part of every aspect of her life. He’s everything to her; all else pales by comparison. Her conversations revolve around the Lord, the Word, prophecy, His blessings, His solutions, questions we need to ask Him, things He’s recently said that were enlightening, awesome or puzzling, etc. Mama does not show any familiarity toward the Lord. She praises Him naturally, regardless of the circumstances. She is respectful and humble toward Him. Her first priority in life, without a doubt, is to love and obey the Lord.

• Mama’s life is a picture of prayer. Her first reaction to a problem is to pray. I think some of the rest of us pray as just another thing that we do-we eat, we sleep, we pray. It’s a way of life for us, but unfortunately it’s not exactly our lifeline. But the way Mama lives testifies that prayer is very real to her. She stops repeatedly in a conversation to pray for whatever or whoever you talk about. She doesn’t hang up the intercom or part from you personally without praying for you and what you’re doing. She passes on prayer requests for her and Peter and others daily and reminds us to pray. She solicits numerous messages from the Lord on the specific effects of our prayers, to continue to motivate us to pray.

If someone is in need of desperate prayer, she organizes teams of prayer warriors to pray specifically for that person. (This is confidential when appropriate.) She often has someone in the Home send around hourly reminders via our computer network when there are urgent prayer requests.

It disappoints her if someone is away on a trip and they don’t send prayer requests home, because she knows that a lot of progress is lost if we are not motivated to pray or we can’t pray specifically because we don’t know what’s going on.

• I have never known Mama to lie. Honesty and integrity are very important to her because she knows that for her to lie would reflect negatively on her testimony as a Christian, her representation of the Lord to others.

• Mama is a passionate witness. When she and Peter come home from any kind of trip, when they share testimonies with the Home, besides thanking everyone for their prayers and telling of the many answered prayers, and talking about how much they appreciate each person (which they do every time they talk to our Home), they mostly talk about their witnessing. Mama is into prophecy, Loving Jesus, the new weapons, pubs, etc., but she’s also super into witnessing, and she is bold!

Not too long ago she and Peter took all the SGAs in our Home on a weekend overnight outing. I’m sure there were lots of fun things that happened, but when she came home and we talked about their time away, the thing Mama talked about (for about 30 minutes) was not the food they ate or the scenery they enjoyed or any interesting conversations she had had with the young people, but about one of her witnessing encounters and all the miracles the Lord did to bring that woman across her path so she could give her a tract. It doesn’t take long when you’re around Mama to see what’s important to her.

• Mama loves people unconditionally. She is merciful, kind, considerate, understanding, and goes the extra mile to try to help people. She wants the people in her Home to be happy. If she hears that someone is sick, she’ll ask someone to tell that person that she loves them and is praying for them. (She doesn’t usually beep or drop by so as not to disturb them if they’re sleeping.) If she hears you’re really bummed, she’ll call you and try to cheer you up. But she goes about it in such a good way, not making you feel like you have to pretend that you’re doing well and getting the victory if you’re not. She just accepts the fact that the Enemy really fights sometimes, and she shows so much sympathy. Even if you don’t know what’s wrong and you’re just sad or something, she just tries to be there for you. It’s uncomplicated and very comforting. You feel like she really understands and takes you where you’re at.

• Mama is really cool! She’s so unpredictable. She has a great sense of humor. I love to be around her.

• Mama is emotionally stable. She doesn’t have mood swings. Nothing seems to rattle or discourage her. She’s constant, and you can count on her to not overreact or get negative or accusatory regarding serious Family problems or the sad reports and personal letters she reads. She doesn’t get freaked out even about real problem situations. Take, for example, the accusations that are flying around these days about her and Peter. It’s not like she gets personally offended and says, “Oh, that’s disgusting! I’m really upset!” She prays about it and sees it as a serious attack of the Enemy on the Family and the Word, but her main priority is not to clear her own name, but to do everything possible to help the people who are confused and stumbled.

Mama knows you can’t please everyone all the time. Her priority and goal is to get out the Lord’s Words, and she is faithful to the Lord regardless of whether everyone agrees with her or not.

But what really does bother her is when such slander, lies and twisted half-truths hurt you! That really gets her attention! She’s a very attentive, vigilant and sober-minded shepherdess and she won’t stand idly by if wolves are threatening or hurting her flock! Then she’ll fight back!

Mama has been very involved with monitoring the effects of detractors’ activities, hearing recent reactions from the field, praying about how to strengthen the Family, answering questions in the GNs, and especially praying for the Family. She knows things have been rough lately. She doesn’t live in a dream world; she knows some are discouraged and are fighting heavy battles. But she has faith; she doesn’t ever waver or doubt the Word or the way the Lord has led, and I haven’t heard her say any disparaging comments about James Penn or anyone else. She knows this is an attack of the Enemy, and she knows we have to fight, but she also knows it will pass and we’ll go on to accomplish the great things the Lord has promised. When you’re around Mama you know everything is going to be okay.

• Mama is a good people handler. She’s very respectful of people and concerned about their feelings. She gives you the benefit of the doubt, anticipates your reactions, lets you hear from the Lord yourself whenever possible, and once you’ve learned your lesson, she drops it. She doesn’t rub things in or make an issue of something if it’s what she calls “self-correcting.” If you’ve recognized your mistake, communicated about it, heard from the Lord, etc., then she sees no need to keep riding it or even mention it again, which would only further embarrass you.

I usually try to pour out my really bad trials and battles on tape, because you know how it is…sometimes you’re crying and being real dramatic (a woman thing!), and it’s nice to just get it out, without having to try to be all positive or react to counsel right on the spot. Plus, sometimes I am just filling her in on the details via tape and then I’m going to hear from the Lord about whatever is bothering me. Mama doesn’t dissect what you say and get negative about you. She doesn’t label you or hold it against you. In fact, once you’ve learned whatever it is you need to learn, or once you’ve heard from the Lord, she usually only talks about the solution, the answer, the Lord’s counsel. She doesn’t even mention the details of your battles or what you said. All your negativity, wrong reactions, unyieldedness, etc., is irrelevant to her once you’re on the road to victory. And even if the battles go on and on, like sometimes they do, she still doesn’t get negative about you or hold it against you. She knows that some things take time.

Mama is really sensitive in that she doesn’t push you to tell her something if you’re not ready. She can sense if you’re not quite yourself, and she might say, “Are you okay?” There have been times when I was really battling and out of it when she asked me that and I said, “I’m having a bad day. I’ll tell you later. This is not a good time to talk about it.” Then she simply prayed for me and dropped it. She doesn’t pry or make you feel forced to talk. Of course, I guess if you were not communicating at all, then she might pry a bit more-ha! But if you are open and honest, she’ll give you the space you need.

• Have you ever known shepherds who talk about others behind their backs very negatively, in a critical, belittling way?-They really get into all the ways someone is so out of it or weak or proud or whatever. Maybe you’ve done that yourself. I know I have, LHM! Well, in all the conversations over the years I’ve had with Mama I don’t recall her ever doing that. If you have to discuss a problem with her or the problems someone is having, her motive in doing so is clearly to understand the situation and especially to define what to ask the Lord in order to get the counsel needed to help the person. There is not that icky self-righteous spirit of “let’s really get into this person’s problem and get down on them and talk about how bad they are (and thereby feel real good about ourselves).”

• Mama has a good personality. She’s funny, well educated, and extremely interested in people. She laughs a lot. She’s a real lady; she’s very queenly in her manner and beautiful, and she doesn’t use bad language except when there’s a real legitimate reason, and even then, only with the Lord’s permission. Ha! She doesn’t complain, and even when she’s really busy she doesn’t make you feel like you’re bothering her. She makes you feel important. She’s open and honest, and is always telling jokes about herself and the funny things she does. People who have never met her think of her as being real shy, but actually she’s great with one on one conversation and gives captivating talks before groups.

• She loves Peter so much and really knows how to wisely and lovingly care for her husband. It’s fascinating to see her balance her roles as a queen and a wife, which takes great wisdom because in one role she’s the boss, and in the other role he’s the boss. Ha! She’s very respectful of Peter and honors him. (I have to interject here that Peter is extremely respectful of Mama. He is not familiar with her, and when the situation warrants, he shows obvious humility and responds to her with “Yes, Ma’am.”)

• Mama lives the “One Wife” vision in that she loves her own kids, David and Techi, as their mom and she takes a personal interest in them, but she also loves the other young people in the Home and is concerned about each one of them too, She makes them feel loved and cared for as her own. I think it’s pretty amazing how she does this. She tries to spend personal time with David and Techi when she can. She does sweet little things for them, like share her snacks with them, or go out for an occasional pizza dinner, or give them some little token gifts every once in a while (like passing on sort of cool clothes to Techi that are sent to Mama from provisioning). She and Peter were also very sweet to Nicole and would sometimes have little times of fellowship with David and Nicole together. (This was when David and Nicole were living with us.)

Now I’ll go on to how I see Peter:

• He is humble. It’s amazing to me that someone who is so wise, experienced and anointed can have so little confidence in himself, and be so obviously dependent on the Lord. He often prays for the Lord’s help and guidance right in the middle of conversations. When you’re with him discussing something or deliberating about a need or problem, it’s very apparent that he is desperate to make the right decisions. He really thinks and ponders and goes slow. He’s in the fear of the Lord about his responsibility.

• He is a yielded bride for Jesus. I love to hear Peter say love words to the Lord. He’s not like super eloquent, but that doesn’t matter. He’s so desperate. He really loves the Lord and wants to be close to Him and be like Him.

• He sometimes worries about the problems of the Family.-Not in a bad way, not like he lacks faith, but I believe because he feels so responsible. He wants to be sure to be doing everything possible to try to solve some of the big problems of the Family-but it’s difficult because there are so many problems and so much to do, and he and the leadership of the Family can only tackle so much at once. He knows there is more that needs to be done to raise more finances at every level, improve the education of our children, take care of the aging FGAs, make life in the Family more challenging for young people, etc., and it weighs heavily on him.

• He works hard. Of course Mama works really hard too, almost all the time, but she’s a little bit in a different category, because her whole world is her work on the Word and for the Family. But Peter is a Taurus, and as you know, Tauruses usually really like to have time to relax and enjoy life. But rarely does he have much of that. He just doesn’t have time. Most of the time he’s very very tired, and yet he’s sort of “driven” by his vision and desire to improve things in the Family. Sometimes I’ve been concerned because he sets such short deadlines for his projects or travels or meetings, etc., because it means he’s going to work almost nonstop and be totally wiped out. But I know why he does that. It’s not because he loves to push himself or because he’s addicted to stress or he’s accomplishment-oriented. He does it for you, for the Family! He’s not even strong physically, so I think it’s a miracle that he manages to keep up the pace he does. I think it’s his love and concern for the Family’s needs that keep him going.

I want to clarify that while Peter is very busy, he gets his Word time and meditation/prayer time faithfully. He and Mama have devotions every morning. They hear from the Lord every morning (and sometimes at other times during the day). That time when they’re in prayer and reading the Word is “off limits.” We in the Home do not interrupt or disturb unless it’s a dire emergency!

• I love to talk with Peter because you see those many years of experience with Dad and Mama. And even though he’s the king now, he’s still very respectful of Mama and even Dad. He told me just two days ago, “I’m not in the Family because I have a job. I’m in the Family because I believe this is the Lord’s will for me, because I want to serve the Lord.”

Mama and Peter’s openness to counsel and dissenting opinions

I read the comments from James about how Mama and Peter get rid of anyone who don’t agree with them 100%, how they are control freaks, etc. That’s not true.

Mama and Peter counsel regularly with the CROs. They do this primarily through written communications, obviously. There are also the Summits, which is when Peter and the CROs hash out the various problems and big questions, discussing, hearing from the Lord, etc. But Mama and Peter also invite various CROs to visit. I’m sure they’d like to have all the CROs come, but each time a CRO or a small group of CROs come, it takes the majority of Mama and Peter’s time, because they have hours and hours of meetings each day, spend personal time with them, receive a lot of prophecies for them, etc. It’s not like they just sit around fellowshipping and enjoying nice meals or going out with the CROs, like a little vacation. They work hard and it’s quite taxing for them both. But the whole point of the visits, besides allowing the CROs who come to get tanked up a little by being around Mama and Peter, is to talk and pray about Family problems.

There have been two business-type meetings so far in the year 2000 with three or four CROs visiting each time. Those weeks were grueling for those involved! For weeks Peter had a three-hour morning meeting, then a meeting over lunch, then a three-and-a-half hour afternoon/evening meeting, then a meeting over dinner. (Mama attended as many of the meetings as she could, depending on her other timely work.) Then usually Peter and Mama’s few “free” hours at night were spent personally shepherding the CROs or catching up on timely messages and other work.

All these meetings were to discuss changes needed in the Family, solutions to ongoing problems, where to get the money needed, how to spread out the leadership load, etc. These meetings were lively debates, back and forth. Anyone who’s been involved in meetings like that knows how tiring, draining and mind-bending that kind of work schedule and pressure can be! And the reason Peter (and Mama) endure that is to hear from others, to counsel, to make wise decisions for the sake of the Family!

Anyone who says Mama and Peter don’t value others’ opinions or only want things their own way is wrong. They just don’t know Mama and Peter.

Mama and Peter also counsel with people in their Home within the realm of their various ministries or responsibilities. Of course, it’s not like you arrive in our Home and immediately begin debating with Mama and Peter. It takes some time before you feel comfortable voicing a contrary opinion or bringing up another side-after all, they are the king and queen. (Something our detractors don’t like to mention. Ahem!)

I don’t want to give the impression that everyone argues with them or is disrespectful or familiar. There is a balance.

Mama and Peter want to hear from others, but we who have that responsibility also have to remember that we are their helpers and counselors. They are the ones who have the responsibility to make the final decisions as the shepherds of this Family. The danger of being in a position where you are asked your opinion or what you say has some kind of bearing in the questions asked the Lord or the decision made is that you can get lifted up in pride. That’s dangerous.

If Mama is making a point about something important, I don’t particularly like having to say, “I understand your point, Mama, but on the other hand maybe you should consider…” Or if Peter is feeling led to go a certain direction in a publication or project, it’s not my favorite thing to say, “But it doesn’t seem quite balanced; it might have a better effect in the long run if we were to do such-and-such…” But like it or not, those of us who work with them do it because they want us to and expect us to. If we have an opposing opinion or a different idea, Mama and Peter want to know about it. They have made it abundantly clear that we are free to bring up any point we want. They have also made it clear that they might not agree with us and that sometimes we aren’t right in our opinions. We are respectful when bringing our opinions to them and they are respectful of our opinions.-And those of us who live here aren’t the only ones who express our opinions and give suggestions. The CROs do it as well, as do you Family members via your letters, and Mama and Peter honestly consider those dissenting opinions.

For those of us who know them well, there is back and forth dialogue, and it’s often pretty direct, without a lot of powder puffing. The reason it can be that way is because we know they want the other opinions; they respect them and consider them. Mama and Peter know they don’t know everything or see all sides. They depend on counsel, and they are very open. They hear you out. Even if your views are narrow and not presented very well, they listen, and they don’t just listen, they seriously and respectfully consider what you have to say. Listening is not the end in itself. They don’t listen just to make you feel good. Listening is a means to the end, and the goal is to make wise, loving, well-rounded decisions. When you voice your opinions or objections, they might ask you to hear from the Lord about your ideas, or they’ll put your views in the pot with all the others when they hear from the Lord.

Having said all that, I want to bring out that they are the chosen shepherds of the Family and they are responsible to the Lord and the Family for the decisions they ultimately have to make. As such, they wisely listen to counsel, they pray, they hear from the Lord and then make the final decisions. We have to accept that they have the final word, just like the boss of any company or organization has the final decision. And in our organization we can be sure that the final decisions will be right because they’ve been prayed and counseled about, the Lord has given confirmations in prophecy on the matter, and He has said numerous times that He will not let Mama and Peter be misled.

We who have the responsibility to discuss things back and forth with them have to watch out about getting familiar or critical or thinking we’re so smart if something we say changes the plan in some way or their perception of something. There is always the potential problem of pride. Everyone knows how it wounds your pride when you make a great case for something but it falls flat and those in charge do something else. If you hold on to your “rightness” in a case like that, it can be a real problem.

I’d venture to say that’s probably what happened with James. He had a lot of contrary opinions in the years before he left, which he voiced. But when Mama and Peter didn’t do what he said or thought, he didn’t let his own opinions go. Obviously, he’s got a lot of gripes; he cites a lot of things he feels Mama and Peter (and Dad) did wrong. He puts himself up as being amongst the few who were fighting for righteousness and truth, against tremendous odds. But really, the whole time he was in WS he had ample opportunity to share his views, just like all the rest of us do. And being the outspoken guy that he is, he did. But somewhere along the line I think he forgot that he’s not always right. He failed to trust the Lord when a different decision was made. Lord, help us all!

Things changed with Dad’s death

It wasn’t a big crisis for me when Dad died. I loved him dearly and have great respect for him as the Lord’s Endtime prophet, but I didn’t have a crisis of faith when he went to be with the Lord.

Granted, it was an adjustment to varying degrees for all of us when Mama started to depend so much on prophecy. (Of course even that wasn’t so much of a change for those of us who lived in WS, because Mama had been having us have what we called PPMs, united prayer and prophecy meetings, for years. We had prayed and heard from the Lord about lots of questions she had.) But anyway, instead of so much discussion and coming to conclusions based primarily on experience and knowledge of the situation or even counsel, there was the constant “let’s ask the Lord.” That really takes the focus off any individuals. My perception is that James, who thought he had a lot of “power” because Mama and Peter listened to him, had to take a more humble position, because now the Lord obviously had the last word via prophecy. I don’t think he liked that.

Also over the course of the next couple of years after Dad went to be with the Lord, there was a big change in the way pubs were worked on in WS. When Dad was alive, the Letters didn’t include as much prophecy, but rather were given by the Lord inspiring Dad as he spoke. Eventually, under Mama’s leadership, prophecy became the primary means for producing pubs. Mama’s GNs were largely comprised of prophecy. The first drafts of the Activated books were received in prophecy. The Heaven’s Library stories and books were also received in prophecy, and then teamworked on further by the earthly editors and spirit-writers. Prophecy was and still is the name of the game.

It seems James never made that switch. I think he resented it, and one reason I believe he refused to let the Lord work through him in that way was because it was much more humble. (I’m not sure if he had the gift of prophecy, but if not, I’m sure the Lord would have given it to him eventually if he had hung on.) You get quite a bit of glory when you write a book or a class or a GP pub, but not when you just receive it in prophecy like a little channel. In that case, you know, and everyone else knows, that it’s not you. You don’t get any acclaim for being such a good writer.

Granted, James Penn was a good writer when he was yielded to the Lord. He wrote the Tribute to Dad; in fact, he wrote the Tribute to Dad after the court cases, during the time he says in his letter that he was supposedly so disillusioned (See Statement: “A Tribute to the Man, His Mission and His Message”). Amazing, huh? Just shows how people can change their minds and perspective, depending on their choices and spiritual state.

My personal opinion is that James just couldn’t accept the place of prophecy in our lives. He now ridicules Mama, mocks her faith in prophecy, and doubts the prophecies she sent him. I think that was the deal- breaker for him! This might seem like a small thing, but it’s pretty sobering how serious the consequences can be when someone doesn’t flow with the major direction God is going.

Mama’s attitude toward prophecy

Some would have you believe that Mama uses prophecy like some kind of evil weapon to hurt and control people, that she maliciously adds weight to her own words and seeks her own will by using prophecy to make people do what she wants. That’s not true.

Mama is extremely respectful of prophecy. She is very much in the fear of the Lord about prophecy and that is displayed daily. She doesn’t change prophecy (as in edits or additions, etc.) without the Lord’s permission which is received in prophecy.

I think the rest of us get familiar with prophecy sometimes. We read so much of it in the GNs and hear from the Lord so much that we lose a little of our reverence; we can tend to quit seeing it as something totally awesome and supernatural, the voice of the Lord. But Mama is not like that.

Time and time again I have been convicted by seeing the respect Mama has for the Lord’s Words. She takes the Lord’s counsel and instruction seriously-whether it is a minor point like her need to cut down on the honey in her diet, or something major like His instruction for her and Peter to make a series of video meetings to pass on some counsel and shepherding to the CROs and VSs.

Everything the Lord says is important to Mama. When the Lord gives instruction, she does something about it. Prophecy is not just “inspiring” or “beautiful” to her. It’s real instruction and counsel from the Lord that she feels responsible to consider, pray about, get more details on, and try, to the best of her ability, to implement. When she gets instruction from the Lord, she changes or she follows up on it with the next steps needed to fulfill His instructions. There is action. There is follow-up.

Mama uses prophecy extensively when shepherding others. Some might think she does that because she wants to pressure people or make them conform, since they won’t be able to argue with prophecy. That is not the true reason at all. She uses prophecy to shepherd people because she has much more confidence in the Lord’s Words than her own. She doesn’t presume to understand someone’s heart or innermost feelings, battles, and desires. She usually has an idea of the needs of a person or situation, but she will seek the Lord’s viewpoint in prophecy so she can be sure her counsel is exactly within the Lord’s will.

Yes, she often does give prophecies to the person when she counsels them-almost always, in fact. But the reasons are because she feels most people would rather hear it from the Lord than from her, and she knows the Lord can present things more accurately and fully than she can. Some people look at prophecy as this “thing”-and they get bugged if it’s too in their face or too hard- hitting or if they think it’s “wrong,” especially when the Lord is giving some kind of insight about their personal life or problems or changes they need to make. That’s when I’ve seen some people put prophecy in a category off to the side, and it’s no longer the Lord’s Words, they no longer feel they need to respect it. That’s when the accusations come out against Mama-she uses prophecy to control others.

Whenever there is a “heavy” message to give someone, I know for a fact that she seeks the Lord numerous times about it. She also counsels with all involved. She also gives the situation time. She doesn’t just get a heavy message and then slam the person down with it. She’s extremely careful, and the reason she gives the message to the person at all is because she wants to help the person to grow. It has nothing to do with “control” and everything to do with love.

But what we have to also understand is that she is a woman of tremendous conviction. She doesn’t fear man, she doesn’t compromise. She delivers the message the Lord wants to give to the Family as a whole, to the world or to individuals. She is very loving, goes slow, takes her time, prays about it, checks with those who will be affected, prays again and again, spends a lot of time personally thinking and praying about the situation, etc. But when all is said and done, she doesn’t back down on the message the Lord wants to give. She is sweet, tender, understanding, gentle, but she says what needs to be said. Even when she dreads it, when she knows it will be very hard for the person or hard-hitting for some of the Family, she still gives the message. If you ask me, this is real love. It’s “tough love.”

To my knowledge Mama has never “used” prophecy to get her way or force anyone to do anything. She depends on prophecy because she wants to be sure to be right, because she loves the Family and the people she shepherds.

Often when Mama has prayed and heard from the Lord about a certain person and their problem, she will ask the Lord for another message-this time speaking personally to the individual involved-one that will make it easier for them, one that will be gentler. The reason she does this is that in the first prophecy the Lord is speaking to the shepherd about the person, in the second prophecy the Lord is speaking directly to the person with the problem. The last thing she wants to do is hurt someone through prophecy, which could hurt their faith in the Lord and His love. She is faithful to confirm with the Lord that any prophecies passed on to individuals are presented just as the Lord wants them to be-not harshly or too strong, and usually more gently than how the Lord may have explained the situation or problem to their shepherds.

She is so cautious and careful sometimes that it can be a little aggravating when you’re working with her. There is so much checking and double-checking. It takes a lot of patience, and sometimes it even seems she goes overboard with asking the Lord again and again. But it’s because she loves and cares.

About the Law of Love

Lots of anti-cult people, James included, like to rail on the Family for our living the Law of Love. James took the approach of being so terribly offended with this, like it is something so awful that Mama and Peter would dare to intrude on that most private part of our lives. That’s so typical of a churchy attitude. They put sex in a different category as if it were something evil that should never be talked about or prayed about, and certainly no preacher should ever be so bold as to get involved in any way in people’s sex lives! Tsk tsk! After all, sex is something secret and naughty!

Funny, I never heard James complaining about the sexual freedom of the Family when for over 20 years his sexual needs were met by single and married women. He didn’t have a problem with being the recipient of the loving sex given by many sacrificial women in WS. Hmm…maybe he’s forgotten that.

James is real uptight because of the Law of Love series. But he just doesn’t get it. He says, “Given their horrendous track record and the many lives that they have ruined, why do Maria and Peter feel they have the right to control, manipulate, and exhaustively regulate this most private, intimate act? What right do they have to dictate what people’s sexual values and conduct should be? Many Family Members are middle-aged. The Law of Love has been drilled into them for years. Many have FFed. They have paid their dues in the sexual freedom department. They don’t need to be lectured to, or bullied. Why can’t Maria and Peter leave them alone to decide what they want to do with their own bodies? Why can’t a mother who has several children feel free to care for them without being bombarded with sexual missives, and condemned because she just does not have the energy, or even the desire, to put out?”

That is a completely twisted and perverted analysis of Mama and Peter’s teachings about the Law of Love. Mama and Peter are not controlling, manipulating and bullying people! And how, by the way, does James think they would even do this-by going into the Homes and forcing people to have sex?! Come on! Ridiculous! My God, doesn’t he realize how feisty, independent and Charter-oriented the Family is today? People in the Family are going to do what they have the faith for, and no one is going to force them to “put out.” That’s the way it is, as I’m sure you know!

When reading James’ account of the Law of Love series I question whether he even read it. What about all the guidelines in it for those who create babies-is that making people feel forced and “bullied” to start having a lot of sex? What about all the guidelines for relationships outside marriage and the responsibilities of the giver and the receiver-does that sound like Mama and Peter are just pounding people over the head to have sex? What about the counsel about the need to care for single women, FGAs who are lonely? I think James is a little clueless about the state of the Homes these days, but it seems there are a lot of single women who feel a lot less worried about having to “put out” than they are about not having their needs for affection and sex met. So let’s get things in proper perspective.

I know the women I share my husband with are thankful, they enjoy it, they need it, and they want the affection, sex and intimate time loving the Lord. It’s a good thing, not something that is ruining lives.

Now, come to think of it, some people might use my own testimony of victory over jealousy to deduce that sexual sharing is forced. I’ve even received some pretty strong comments from brethren on the field who were offended that Matthew was having dates when it was causing me battles. I think people got the impression that he was being bad to me because he was having sex with young women. I have to admit that those comments bothered me a little bit because some people were writing in an accusatory spirit, as if Matthew was acting like some kind of lecherous old man, drooling after the SGAs, treating me badly, etc., like, “How could he do that!?” Well, the answer is, he didn’t! That’s not the case.

To set the record straight: I was never forced by Mama and Peter to live the Law of Love. All the dates that Matthew has ever had with any woman other than me have been our idea, usually mine. Mama and Peter did not even encourage us along those lines. In fact, when I brought up the idea to Mama of Matthew starting to share with the young women, Mama was very cautious and even said it might not be necessary or a good idea, that I needed to be sure I had the faith for it, etc. Mama did not hint, push or in any way make me feel I needed to do a certain thing regarding sexual sharing. She left that entirely in our court.

We didn’t share sexually because there was any pressure from Mama to do so or because it was the “in thing.” We did it because the Lord showed us to do it. We did it to care for others, to build unity. We did it because we believe it’s right and godly and the truth!

And I can’t tell you how happy I am that we did. I’m absolutely convinced that we did the right thing because today I’m completely free of the battles with jealousy that I fought for so long. The Enemy has been defeated in my life and now I have the victory not just by faith, but it’s manifested in feelings. Now when we share sexually with others it’s not a big deal. It’s sweet, it’s fun, it’s wonderful! It’s so cool, it’s so much fun! I no longer have the Devil and all his lies, accusations, suspicions, and fears on my back. I’m free. Glory to God! Hmmm…that’s not my idea of “ruining lives.”

In conclusion …

I imagine James spent months carefully weaving his diatribe, finding quotes (with the help of the ARC) that supported his position while conveniently ignoring whole Letters and the Charter because they didn’t help to build his case. If this shows anything, it proves to me the importance of knowing the Word. If we’re going to be in the Family, then we need to be here 100% and be fully persuaded, so we’re not rattled and upset and blown away by some detractor’s letter.

And yet, there have been people who have been willing to throw away all their years in the Family, based on what he said! What about all your years reading the Letters, knowing Dad and Mama intimately through the Word? What about all the Lord’s promises about Mama as His Endtime prophetess? What about Dad’s appointment of Peter as king? What about all the ups and downs you’ve been through in the Family and hung on? What about all the fruit you’ve seen? What about your faith in the Word and the revelations the Lord has given Dad? What about your commitment to being a disciple?

How can you let all that go because you read a letter from a man you don’t even know? It’s his word against Mama and Peter’s word. It’s his spin against their honest explanation. What’s his agenda? What’s his motive? Does he love you? Is he serving the Lord? What are his fruits? Why do you think he wrote that letter?

I’m committed to this Family and I don’t care what James Penn says! I don’t care what he does, what he thinks, or what he feels. He and his letter are of absolutely no consequence to me, because I have made a decision between me and the Lord to be a disciple in the Family. I refuse to let the prejudices of others tell me how I should think and what I should feel. I refuse to allow people to bring up some of Dad’s past mistakes in an effort to convince me to abandon my faith in the man who taught me how to love and serve Jesus. I refuse to judge the past actions of the Family by the climate of today. And I’m certainly not going to take the word of James Penn or the System and their interpretation of my religion over what Dad, Mama and Peter tell me and over what the Lord Himself tells me.

I know I’m following Jesus. He is our Leader. He is the Head of this Family. Not only am I following Him through the foundation of the Bible upon which this Family is built, but also through the Letters given through David of the End and his successor Maria-Letters that I’ve been reading and that have worked wonders in my life for nearly 30 years! I am following Jesus through the Words He gives me personally through my own gift of prophecy.

I am determined to follow Jesus in the Family no matter what all the James Penns of this world say. In fact, when I read his letter it only made me more determined and gave me greater resolve to tenaciously hang on and let no man steal my crown. I pray that God will continue to help me follow the Words of David, that I will have the faith and humility to continue to use the new weapons, to prepare for the future, and to be all I need to be as we enter the era of action! I pray I will continue to grow spiritually and be totally sold out to the Family and dropped out of the System, so that if I ever meet James Penn again or any of our other detractors they’ll see in me a living sample of the Letters!

I love the Mo Letters! I love the GNs that have been published since Dad’s home-going. I love Dad’s new messages from Heaven! I love Mama and Peter! What James Penn wrote didn’t shake my faith one bit; it didn’t make me doubt or wonder one bit! I know what I believe, and I not only put my all in with Mama and Peter, but I pray that daily I will become more like them. I follow them as they follow Jesus!

* * *

UNPUBLISHED

Letter to a Young Person

From Robin (formerly Keda), Japan

Dear friend,

I sure love and appreciate you and all the times you’ve worked hard, given it your best, and stood fast through difficult squeezings and tests. These aren’t the simple days of yore when we used to go out witnessing, taking one or two kids with us, talking with people here in Japan about the Lord and helping them learn that there actually can be answers to their lives. Things used to be much less complex, not only for us, but for the world as a whole.

You’ve read how amazingly things have changed since Dad’s life started compared with ours.-Well, they sure have changed amazingly in the last ten years in society, as well as our communities. Whereas we used to be fairly cut off from the world around us, and isolated, especially when you were younger, as you know, as the years have been progressing, we’ve been opening up far more in our thinking and relations with others.

I know recently you’ve read some material that talks about Mama being a “control freak” and how her and Peter’s “overuse of prophecy,” etc., has caused them to have a very strong rein on the Family. Well, I totally disagree. But I know for me, having had many chances over the years to live with Dad and Mama and Peter, in some ways I have a real advantage in having seen and experienced them in action in all types of ways.

I know you have read the writings of someone who has left, expressing his view of life and expounding on his personal reasons for leaving. I’m not perturbed about his leaving, as that’s totally his prerogative, nor am I so concerned about his reasons, as every individual is of course free to have whatever reasons he perceives as being important. What I am concerned about, though, is the very unbalanced statements and what I believe to be unfortunately critical and inaccurate conclusions that were drawn, because there is some degree of power when someone says “I was there.”

I’ve been able to visit Dad and Mama and Peter numerous times over the years, and have lived with them for several months at a time on different occasions, so just to balance things out, I felt I’d like to share a few of my personal experiences. Ultimately, what you believe is entirely your prerogative, but to have unbalanced input before you make your decisions, seemed to me to be unfortunate. I actually have literally hundreds of incidents and things that impressed me whenever I was with them, which cause me to feel entirely different than they have been recently portrayed, but I’ll limit my points to just a few that you possibly know about or at least would find relatable. I have no hidden agenda here, I simply felt that after having read a lot of what I feel is personal perceptions, which I certainly don’t agree with, you might appreciate hearing some of the other side of the coin.

My decision to send my kids to System school

One initial example of Mama not being a “control freak” centers around the fact that for years and years, the Family had almost exclusively home schooled our children, but then I personally decided that I felt mine would benefit more if they did differently.

I’m so glad my kids went to public elementary school here in Japan for three years after having been home schooled up until that point. It wasn’t easy for them, as you know, learning the language and the culture, but we had chances to reach out to people in the community around us and to be much more in sync with their lives and to understand the difficulties they face daily, which in some ways we’d been protected from. I remember having wrestled with the fact that my kids didn’t speak Japanese very well all the years we’d been here, wondering what the solution was.

At the time, I and the Japanese family I was working with heard from the Lord together, as since the Charter we felt the freedom to really decide what we felt would work in our situation. It was a fairly radical stance at that point in time to step out and say we were going to send them off, after having been very protective in the care of our kids up until that point, but I’m so glad I did. At the time I communicated with Mama, as she and Dad had been encouraging us to home school our kids to help them not fall prey to adverse influences, bullying, violence and overt materialism, etc. We felt a peace that the Lord was leading us this way though, so I was very encouraged when I saw her response. She printed my letter to her, which expressed some of the pros and cons we were experiencing, along with our conviction that this seemed to be, at least in this time and place, the best option for us, along with balancing views on sending kids to school.

I felt at that time that our situation, being in a mission field with a difficult culture and language to learn, it could be perhaps considered differently than someone who was still in the U.S. or Australia, in that putting children into a regular public school in that situation would expose the kids to a far greater level of negative influence than was the case here in Japan. Nevertheless, Mama’s openness and even passing on the option to others, to me was a very real indicator of her openness to alternatives.

When I didn’t agree or go along with Dad and Mama’s suggestion

I first met Dad and Mama in Madrid, 1978, at the time of the RNR. At the time I’d been a “chain leader,” and was actually wondering if I should try Africa or Asia, when I was asked if I would like to pray about helping out in the Pacific. I’ve been asked a number of times by the Folks if I would like to try a certain ministry or not. Because I have trusted their leadership and know their motives and love, I have usually felt good about going for the option they suggested, but not always.

There was one time when I was in Singapore, when Dad, Mama and Peter were there with their staff for a time. They had been praying about the oversight of the Homes in the Pacific, and one afternoon on a walk in a park, Peter suggested the possibility of a traveling partner I could travel with from Home to Home. This traveling partner was a very precious man, loved the Lord, and had a lot of gifts and talents that they thought might complement my own. I thought about it and just didn’t have the faith that it was what I would feel comfortable to do. So I told them I thought I’d rather not.

If indeed they were “control freaks,” I would have certainly noticed strong coercion, displeasure, disapproval or whatever at my resistance to their pretty reasonable suggestion, but that was not the case. I considered the matter many years later and wondered in my communications with them if I had perhaps missed an opportunity for the Lord to have blessed my work more, but not once have they told me that their opinion or suggestion was definitely the Lord’s will if I didn’t feel comfortable with it.

Dad’s attitude after correction

As you know, I needed and received a pretty big correction from Dad back in ’85, when I’d been traveling the Homes as the main shepherd for the Eastern Hemisphere. At the time, Dad discerned that I not only had a very self-righteous spirit, but that actually I had other spiritual problems, that if I could receive deliverance from, it would indeed clean up my spirit and I would regain my usefulness for the Lord’s service.

At the time, I’d been welcomed into their Home in the Philippines where I lived for about eight months. I’d been working as a traveling shepherd for years, but enjoyed working on pubs and helped with editing a number of publications at the time-Daily Breads, Daily Mights, etc. The Folks had had me visit a number of times and I’d helped them here and there since they’d come to the East, but this was the first time I’d lived for a longer period of time with them since Madrid.

Dad sensed that something wasn’t right in the spirit about me, and as they counseled and asked the Lord, it became clear that indeed, through my self-righteousness and other areas I was rebellious in, I had become a vehicle for the Enemy to come into their Home. Dad corrected me seriously one evening and said that it’d be good that I get a solid prayer of deliverance. Most folks have read the story in old Letters, but perhaps there are a few aspects at that time which weren’t so clear to the reader.

The very day after I received the correction, I was out in the yard exercising, when I met Dad. He came up and gave me a big hug and said, “You did good, Honey! The Lord just wants you to do better!” He was so encouraging and warm, and I have to say, that throughout the entire time of my being there, that was the case. In praying about what course of training would be good for me at that time, both Dad and Mama felt it’d be helpful for me to have a time of penance. This is a fairly normal Catholic concept, wherein someone makes some gestures to in a way pay for their sins and mistakes.

All throughout the day, everyone around me was cheery, positive, helpful and bright as we went about our work, and the evenings were the same too. The only thing that changed in that period of time, was that during the time when everyone would get together to relax and have dinner and dance, I would relax upstairs in my room watching the “Garden of Eden” videos which I greatly enjoyed, since I’d never had a chance to see them before. In other words, I certainly wasn’t sent to my room by angry people at any time.-Folks were incredibly understanding and positive.

Peter at that time mentioned that although I had lessons to learn, since my prayer, I was a “new creature in Christ, old things were passed away and behold, ALL things had become new.” He and Sara went over a number of Word classes with me to help me learn some key factors in considering the feelings of others around me. One of my weaknesses, amidst many, was that I’d been pretty pushy and opinionated and not very circumspect in decision-making. This was very far from the way either Dad, Mama or Peter had been with me, so they felt that reading some good solid Bible and Letters on these subjects would help me to move at least a few more steps towards being more like Jesus. I can’t say that it worked in that I achieved at all, but I do know that I’m most grateful for the Lord pulling me up in my tracks at that time and many other times before and since, as my earnest desire is to please Him and to be a vessel of His love to others.

The tape of everything

At the time of my being in the Philippines with Dad, Mama, and Peter, there were a few incidents which left an indelible impression on me. It was a time of learning for me, and the Lord was putting me through the squeezes of His love to help me be more useful than I had been.

One evening, Mama popped into the room and was talking about how things were going and she asked me if I would mind doing something for her: It was to dictate a tape of all the bad things I’d done before joining the Family and all I could think of after joining. Well, since I had a natural bent of being self-righteous, this was hardly the thing I’d relish doing. However, I sensed she had some good reasons, and decided that I may as well.

That night I popped the small micro tape under her door with a note, and despite a thought halfway through the night of getting a coat hanger and fishing it back out, I decided to leave it. Ha! The next afternoon she popped into my room as warm and fun as always and asked me if I knew why she’d suggested making that tape. She said, “It’s so that you can know in your heart that there is nothing you can ever do to make Jesus or us not love you!”

Having been guilty of trying too hard for years, or at times doing things in the energy of my own flesh instead of letting the Lord do it, etc., this had a tremendously touching impact on me, just realizing over again the incredible love that our Lord has for us, and it was Mama who helped me really grasp it in a far more profound way than I had till that time.

It’s up to you

At the end of last year, I had been thinking of my daughter’s exciting work in Zimbabwe, of the wonderful work our folks were doing in Kosovo, and of plans to open up Ethiopia, and I started to wonder if it might be time to consider a change of field, to move to a place where I’d get “more bang for my buck,” since working in a non-Christian field like Japan all these years at times can be a bit wearying to someone yearning to bear more fruit in the long term as an effective missionary.

I help to do some work for WS, taking care of some of their mail, passing on communications to the field, etc., so I wrote Mama and Peter and expressed my question about a possible change of fields, wondering if they would have any suggestions. Their answer totally put it back in my court, saying that they know I loved the Lord and that He wouldn’t fail to lead and provide, and that they would support my decision whichever it may be.

As it happened, I heard from the Lord personally and a number of ways to witness effectively locally opened up, and my mind was made up. The Lord did give me a choice, but His highest seemed to be for me to stick here where I have learned at least a lot of the culture and language. Lord knows I’ve got a lot to still learn, but I’ve felt so much challenge here since stepping back and reconsidering and reconfirming that that’s where the Lord wants me. But I must say, to me again, Mama and Peter were very open and in no way dictated what they felt would be politically the best option. They just don’t work that way.

Respect for young people who choose a different lifestyle

Contrary to what has been written recently, it’s clear that both Mama and Peter have taken a lot of time to encourage the Family to make sure that those who choose to not continue in the Family are helped to get set up in their new life, are kept in good communication with, and are encouraged to get established into situations that will help them continue being useful citizens.

To me it’s a little odd that anyone would take issue with this, considering the lack of wisdom we had towards those who chose to leave the Family in years past. If anything, it’s been Peter’s encouragement to be a lot more open, apologetic, and to have listening ears to those who have left and who had perhaps had less-than-positive experiences with shepherds from the past, that made a key difference in our present attitudes.

Dad was sold out for the Lord, and in our younger years, I would say we were definitely guilty of being rather polemic and having tunnel vision-lacking awareness of the difficulties those who chose to leave the Family were facing. It’s been precisely because Peter listened to so many former members as he traveled, and both Mama and Peter took note of things that were written them, that they have encouraged us to be far more conciliatory in our relationships with those who choose to not continue on as Family members.

Questions and differing opinions welcome

As a young person, one thing that’s unfortunate is that at times over the years, it’s possible that you may have come across some leadership in the Family who weren’t close to the way we’re all supposed to be. At times, I’ve personally been a considerable distance from the way Dad, Mama or Peter are, and regret that. If you read in the Word about consideration, giving people freedom of choice and a real gentility in shepherding, yet at times you find you’re under the leadership of someone who doesn’t listen to you as a younger person or who has an opinionated way of working with others rather than being simply a team member, I find this very unfortunate, as it leaves space for you to think that Mama and Peter may well have the same weaknesses.

I have experienced time and time again over the past 22 years since I met them, an amazing openness and sincere desire to learn how other people feel. Mama has a fascination for people and spends a lot of time trying to understand, to listen to them, and I know I have never felt more at home than I have in their company. Contrary to what has been written, I have found they encourage individual talents, different types of personalities and have been far from restrictive in their dealings with people. Mama has continually had the attitude if some mistakes are made, to not focus on the blame, but focus rather on finding the solution. She’s preached “don’t cry over spilt milk” and lived it time and again in counsel she’s given to different ones on the field, co-workers in WS who make mistakes, in my life personally when I’ve come short of the goal, and in her writing.

So real

For me, perhaps one of the most endearing qualities of both Mama and Peter has been the way they’re so simple, down to earth, and are so ready to confess their weaknesses. I used to always feel that if people would just meet Dad, by seeing the clear warmth and light in his face, they would know that he couldn’t be evil. I have always felt the same regarding Mama and Peter.-“Beholding the man,” what can you say?

You can tell by their writing that they are constantly fighting for the good, for love and consideration, for gentleness and unselfishness, while at the same time opening up about their own personal lessons in such matters. I have worked for a number of different bosses, but to me Mama and Peter are unique in that they don’t “pull rank,” but are very much as dear friends who I know have stuck with me through the good times and the bad.

Prophecy-ultimate preparation for the Endtime

I can understand anyone finding prophecy a little hard to take. I know that it’s stretching the faith of a number of people. But on the other hand, to me there is almost no greater proof that the Family is indeed everything the Lord has said we are destined to be-leaders in the Endtime. Were we to simply cling to every word Mama and Peter said after Dad had passed on, or were we to get tighter and more restrictive leadership, then I would understand feelings that Mama and Peter were controlling things too much. The fact is, though, and to me this seems the most obvious of all facts in the whole picture, they have done exactly the opposite of what they’re being accused of! They have set us all free to follow according to our faith.

If some felt they like some aspects of the Family but couldn’t really hack the close leadership, they have made working in the capacity of an FM member a very acceptable alternative. They have led us away from asking them or other leadership a whole lot, but have been training us to reach out to Jesus and the help He has given from the spirit world. If this thing [the Family] be of man, it will come to naught, but if it be of God, it will stand-as a testimony of those who didn’t claim to be strong, but who admitted they were weak and in need of Jesus. It will be a ringing testimony that none of the persecutions and attacks against it over the years have prevailed. None!

Personally, I’m convinced more each year that what Jesus has said in the Word all these years is being fulfilled more than ever. I expect there will be more false witnesses and character assassination attempts. I expect there will be more who scream “Sex cult!” or whatever the latest rage is, but I can attest of this one thing: I believe I could never have come to know Jesus as I know Him now, if it wasn’t for the faithful sample and teaching of Mama and Peter, after Dad had passed on. I could never have been motivated to want to have a passion to learn, to reach out, to want to give, if it wasn’t for the training and Word that we receive each week. Because of all I’ve received and continue to receive, I wake up with something to live for, something to give to people, in and out of the Family, a real sense of purpose. No matter what anybody tries to say, I know what I have seen and nobody can pull the “I’ve lived with them” phrase out and have any effect on me, because I have too, and I thank God for all I’ve been able to learn and see, and I wish I could live closer to it myself.

I love you tons and pray for you during this difficult time. I know Jesus has His hand on you and your sweet mate and kiddo, and always will. You’re special to Him.

Let’s stay in touch.

Love, Robin

* * *

UNPUBLISHED

My Personal Experiences

By Simon, CRO, USA

I’m almost 51 and I’ve been in the Family for over 29 years. That’s over half of my life. That’s a long time, and while there are some former members today saying that I’ve wasted my life, I can truthfully answer that the investment of nearly 30 years in the Family has been well worth everything that I have had to give up to serve Jesus fulltime.

I joined the Family without ever personally knowing or meeting Dad or Mama. I didn’t join a personality cult, but I made the decision to serve the Lord in the Family because I felt very strongly that the message they stood for was something that I wanted to give my life to. I judged them by the fruit that they were bearing in their service for the Lord. The same reason I joined the Family many years ago is the same reason that I’m still in the Family today-because the Family was the most on-fire, soul-winning group of people I had ever met.

Although the Family has been through many changes over these 29 years, one thing that I feel has remained a constant, never-changing principle is the goal to see Mark 16:15 fulfilled, that of living our lives for Jesus and winning the world with His love. That’s why I’m still in the Family today, because I still feel that we are the greatest soul-winning organization around.

I first met Dad and Mama during the first part of 1978 when my wife and I were asked to be a part of some discussions pertaining to the reorganizing of the work. The Family at that time was going through some major reorganization in order to be able to do an even better job of evangelizing the world, but we were also meeting to discuss how to take better care of those who worked hard to witness to the lost world, the ones that Dad said were on the tops of God’s list, the front-line witnessers-the missionaries. We personally met with Dad and Mama almost daily for the two weeks we were there, and it was easy to see that their loving sample and concern for every Family member was not just something that you read about in the Letters. I was able to see firsthand the loving shepherding of Dad and Mama and come to love them as the kind and sacrificial people that I always knew they were. Their real life sample of love and concern for the little people was plain to see.

For the next year I worked closely with them, via letters and reports, until we moved into a house in close proximity to them where we stayed for about three months. We had the opportunity to work very closely with them, as well as the other members of their personal staff. Although I was going through a particularly difficult time in my life, I received a lot of personal comfort and assurance as well. There are a few things that stand out to me that happened at this time, which have stuck with me through the years.

After having listened to a personal message on tape that Dad had made for me, a talk which contained some personal correction and instruction, I was pretty discouraged, to say the least. I was discouraged to the point that I felt that I didn’t have the strength to make the changes that I knew I needed to make. I knew that I was in need of getting my spiritual life straightened out, but I really didn’t know what to do. Dad was pretty firm with me, but I knew it was the truth and that I needed it, and I’m thankful to this day for all he did to help me.

After asking for united prayer, I was still feeling pretty down and discouraged about everything, when Dad suggested that I just relax and not worry about anything and to enjoy the evening by watching a movie with everyone. I certainly needed this encouragement, and although I had a hard time relaxing, this has always stuck with me and made me feel loved and cared for in spite of my shortcomings. A short time after this, while working on a project, Mama came to check on me to see how I was doing, and her encouragement to keep holding on and making progress was a help to me as well.

I remember one of the last times that I saw Dad and talked with him was after having Thanksgiving dinner with him and Mama and the rest of the staff. It was a very memorable time together and although I had made a lot of mistakes during the three months I lived close to them, I did not feel any condemnation from anyone at all. All I felt was love and understanding in spite of my mistakes. After dinner, Dad put his arm around me and said, “Son, I’m so thankful to see you making it!” We didn’t have much time to talk, but those words and his loving actions assured me that I was not condemned, but forgiven.

During the last almost five years of being a CRO, I have been working once again closer with Mama and Peter and others of their staff. While there are some who are saying that Mama and Peter are manipulative and that they have to have the last say about everything and control everything, I have to take exception to statements such as this. I have found Mama and Peter to be just the opposite of manipulative or control freaks. I have attended various Summit meetings with Peter, some lasting as long as two months, and I have seen a very concerned and ready listener who sought out our counsel and opinions on every matter. His and Mama’s concern for the happiness and overall spiritual well-being of each Family member was very evident by their desperation to hear from us and get our opinions.

Attending these meetings and seeing once again the way that Mama and Peter operate through prayer, counsel, and deliberation was clear evidence that they do not use prophecy as a means to get their own way or push their own program. I have always been encouraged to speak up and to give my opinion on anything and everything. During the Summit meetings, we gathered in small groups on a daily basis where we would take the opportunity to ask the Lord many questions about practically every aspect of the Family’s mode of operation. What always stood out was Peter’s concern, like Dad’s, on how to make things easier for each Family member. It didn’t matter if the point being discussed went along the Family’s usual way of doing things or not; I never once felt that I couldn’t freely express my ideas or opinions. In fact, I was always encouraged to speak up even though maybe I thought my ideas were totally different than others.

I believe that some former members are confused about what openness or having an open mind really is. The following example may not be the best illustration, but maybe it will help some of you who may be struggling as a result of some of the things that some former members are saying. I hope it will help you to see things differently by remembering that every secular organization or business has a set of rules or guidelines that they operate within. Members of these organizations or employees of these businesses are expected to abide by their standard if they wish to remain as members or stay in their employ. If I worked with the Ford Motor Company, I’m positive that the engineers and production and marketing analysts would welcome suggestions which could help them build more and better cars, but I don’t think that they would appreciate it if I tried to stop production of Ford automobiles because I felt that Dodge was a better car or because the Dodge company’s method of producing automobiles was better. The latter would lead the supervisors to believe that you did not like the Ford Motor Company.

I think the Family operates much the same way. I know for a fact how Mama and Peter operate because I have lived very close to them at times and visited with them personally and I have been involved in some of the decision-making process of the Family concerning many things. They are always very happy to hear from anyone, his or her suggestions on how to improve the Family and keep it moving forward where everyone can be happy and content in his or her service for the Lord. I do know, though, that if someone is not happy with our beliefs or lifestyle to the point that he wants to disrupt or sway others, then it would be better for him to go elsewhere and “build cars” in a manner that he is the most comfortable with.

Last year, myself and several others were able to meet with Mama over lunch when she and Peter came through our area on a short business trip.

We had the opportunity to discuss many work-related matters, as well as enjoy some very nice fellowship together. As always, when we talked and counseled together, the thing that stood out to me the most was Mama’s concern for the work and for every Family member. The needs of every single Family member was foremost in our conversation together.

Later, I was able to have some personal time with Mama in which I was able to open my heart with her. I hadn’t seen Mama for almost 20 years, so I was quite nervous to say the least. Just as I had witnessed her concern and deep love for others, I was now experiencing it again personally, myself, as we talked together. When she put her arms around me and hugged me I cried a little, but I knew I could open my heart without fear and that she would handle it with the greatest care. I told her about some of the difficulties that I was presently experiencing, but I never once got a sermon or felt condemned in any way, just encouragement to explain my feelings and that everything was going to be okay. Just as I was taught many years ago when I first joined the Family, she reiterated once again, how important it was for me to make sure that I take the time needed to ask Jesus about the things that I was going through so that He could answer my questions and comfort my heart Himself.

I can assure you that you have someone who cares very much for you and who would never think of forcing you to do something you did not feel was right or do something you didn’t have the faith for. When my son was diagnosed with leukemia, the letter my wife and I received from Mama was a very heartfelt and concerned letter, as if she was suffering right along with my wife and me. Mama expressed her thankfulness that we were able to hear from the Lord ourselves and thus able to get our directions straight from Heaven.

In closing, I don’t worry that Mama and Peter are leading the Family by coercion or prophecy to move the Family in the direction they want, as some former members say. I have seen that this is not true and their mode of operation, which I have witnessed myself, indicates clearly that they have a healthy fear of the Lord, are more than willing to counsel and explore all sides of a question or problem, and are desperate with Jesus to get His custom-made instructions for the entire Family.

If you’re struggling with some of the things that some former members are saying, I hope that my positive experiences of knowing and working with Mama and Peter over the years will help allay your fears. I also want to once again encourage you to judge them by their fruits. They have always encouraged all Family members that they can and need to have their own relationship with Jesus and that each person needs to look to Jesus and not to them. Contrary to what some say, they are very humble, loving, and fun, and I enjoy being around them and working with them.

* * *

UNPUBLISHED

If I were the Devil…

By Magda, CRO, Russia

Recently I wrote an article for the Grapevine concerning my visit to Mama and Peter’s Home. I shared there some highlights of my time with them and with the members of their Home, but I would like to write more about Mama and Peter and their dedication to each one of us, dear Family.

I hear the statements and accusations of some of the ex-members, which make me wonder “which” Mama and Peter they visited or know, as it seems like I’m hearing about totally different people when I read or hear about some of those truly strange declarations!

Mama and Peter are humans like you and me. They are people with both weaknesses and strengths. They’re growing and learning, like you and me. They’re making their decisions and choices each day, and they’re not exempt from struggles and battles, just like you and me. They use the power of the Word and prayer to learn His ways in their daily lives, and with all that is within them, and they try their best to lead the Family as He wishes. I don’t claim that they’re perfect, but I do know that they’re honest followers of God’s Word and desire nothing else but God’s best for the Family.

Some of the ex-members seem to believe that Mama and Peter are in it for money and for control. It couldn’t be funnier to even conceive such an accusation, but to come even close to believing it is even more preposterous. And what about control? You can’t be serious! If you know anything about dictatorship and full control, you must also know that it usually comes with such qualities as tyranny, totalitarianism, and absolute rule, which I never found in Mama or Peter’s behavior, nor in my personal interaction with them, neither in the Letters written by them.

When visiting their Home earlier this year, I had an opportunity to counsel with Mama as well as with Peter about different needs of the people on the field. Mama often expressed her concern that there’s not enough love being shown. She wanted to know what can be done for people to feel more appreciated, more loved, and she was concerned about it not because of money and control, but because she truly cares for you and me. She is a simple believer who is determined to follow God and His Words even if no one else will. And she’s doing it out of love for Jesus and not in self-righteousness or her own strength.

Peter is so excited about all that the Lord is doing in teaching us new ways of doing follow up, and giving more Word to the world around us. He, too, is a believer of Jesus and His Words. He is not perfect and he never will be, but neither will you nor me. During my visit to their Home, one day during a meeting Peter asked me, “What else can we do to help the Family? What can we give so the Family will be able to do what we’re called to do-to go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature.”

If he or Mama were interested in gaining full control over us and “using us” for money, we would never have those Letters teaching us about making decisions on our own. We would never have the Charter. They could just change the leadership structure to a more restricted one. Other worldly governments/leaders have tried, and they succeed in being totalitarian leaders, with much fear in the ranks of their people, many restrictions, and much hatred from the people. It never brought the fruits of joy and peace and faith that we have in the Family.

Let’s for a moment look honestly at the Word we’re receiving-new weapons, new directions, new methods. Were you expecting the Family to stagnate and be the same from the day we started? Were you expecting that God would get silent and let us still eat donuts and run around in search of hippies, driving around the States in big buses? Were you hoping that we’d always be God’s servant and never learn how to be His friend, much less His Bride? I hear and see many lives changed for the better (including my own) because of the new weapons. I also hear and see mockers, scoffers, and disbelievers of those new methods and new weapons. Some ex-members say that they feel sorry for people like me who use those new methods and who are so “brainwashed” and have to suffer an “institutionalized life.” I don’t believe that they’re so smart and I’m so stupid that they can think for themselves and I am not able to.

From my childhood, I was always very curious about life, and at a very young age I became very interested in God and His teachings, His ways of working. Meeting the Family was just another stage of growth in my spiritual walk with God. I don’t agree that just because I’ve known God since my childhood that I’m not able to make my own decisions or be able to see for myself if what Mama and Peter are sharing with us in the Word is true or deceitful. I have my own personal connection with the Lord, and I can communicate with Him. I can ask Him things as much as Mama and Peter.

I haven’t yet found things in their teachings that would go against the basic teachings of the Bible. I have seen, however, many problematic situations in people’s lives and Homes-which weren’t the result of Mama and Peter’s wrong leadership methods or the “wrong” Word we have, but rather a lack of living the Word. We’re in training, and much is required of us in the spirit, as well as in the physical-but it’s the personal choice of each one of us. Mama and Peter are very special people who are dying daily to make our lives better, and I would feel ashamed to ever accuse them of being in it for money or control.

Let’s play a game for a moment. Can you imagine yourself being the Devil for a moment? It’s the Endtime. It’s a new millennium, where the Devil’s minions have received new strength and anointing for the era ahead of them. The children of God likewise received new strength and anointing to go forth and perform miracles as never before and to become teachers of the Word as never before.

Being the Devil, I would shoot where it hurts and where the damage would be greatest. I know by now that I can’t attack with accusations and methods I used last year; I need to have some new weapons myself. I know that many dedicated Family members are in their last stages of being purged and tested in preparation for the era of action. Many are over that, and yet many more are fighting battles and could be a great target for me. How should I attack? I’ve tried doubts, fear, persecutions, financial struggles. But how about throwing some dirt on Mama and Peter? Not many know them well; there are many that are already wondering what it’s like at Mama’s Home. I could strike at them, and at the same time weaken the trust and faith others in the Family have in the Word that Mama and Peter are sharing with the Family. I know my days are numbered. I know I’m bound to lose the final strike on that battlefront, but if I act fast, I can at least slow down the work, discourage and confuse some, and I can also deceive some and lure them into my (the Devil’s, that is) words and beliefs. I will never have them fully, but at least I can use them temporarily.

We are each mature enough people, and those who know Jesus can find the answers to those questions themselves. Read the Bible, if nothing else. If you have questions and you feel confused, call on God.-He is able to answer and is willing to show you the truth. Are you willing to hear and to believe it and act on it? We all know that we’re in the Time of the End, and we know that the struggle over men’s hearts will intensify. It’s not a playground we’re in any more; it’s a battleground, and it will only get more intense. But it will also get more victorious for those of us “who know our God” so we can “do great exploits!”

* * *

I Trust Them With My Life

By Abner, CRO, USA

“Who on this freakin’ Earth is calling me at 10 a.m. on a Sunday morning?” I muttered as I stumbled out of bed to answer the phone. It was September 1979. I was working fulltime in my hometown in the US to pay off debts and raise my fare to go to the field. I wasn’t in the best of spiritual health (we’ll leave it at that, shall we?).

Me: “Yeah, who’zit?” (Most of my calls at the time were from friends who would understand my grizzly nature, considering the time of day and my current lifestyle.)

Peter: “Hi, Tom! (My name at the time.) This is Peter Amsterdam calling from Switzerland.” (Pleasant voice, especially considering the reception.)

Me: “Oh, uh, hi…uh…how are you?” (When people are nice to you, you tend to try to be nice back. This was about the best I could muster, but at least it was an improvement.)

Peter: “Great! It’s real nice here today. Abi and I were just out this afternoon, and I thought I’d call you to let you know that you’re welcome to come and join the Home here in Zurich if you’d still like. We’d be happy to have you.” (I’d answered a WS want ad some weeks before, and they were looking for a handyman.)

Me: “Hey, great. Wow. Thanks.” (Repentance starts setting in.)

Peter: “Well, do you want to go ahead and book your ticket and just let us know? The sooner the better. We could really use your help.” (Things are looking up, somebody even needs me. …)

Me: “Sure. I’ll do that.”

Peter: “We’re looking forward to meeting you. Dad and Mama said to send you their love, too.”

Me: “Hey, thanks. God bless them!” (That wasn’t exactly happening to me every Sunday.)

Peter: “Okay, well, I’d love to chat more, but since it’s long distance I guess that’ll have to wait until you get here.”

Me: “Okay, thanks, I’ll let you know my flight as soon as I book it.”

Peter: “Thanks, Tom. God bless and keep you. Sure love you.”

Me: “Yeah, right, uh … yeah, love you too…” (I was a bit rusty on some of the love stuff. See first paragraph.)

With that began my personal relationship with Peter. I traveled to Switzerland where Peter and Abi picked me up at the airport. I was coming out of a fairly backslidden state. My goals were still intact as far as my desire to serve the Lord and reach others with His love, but my standard was, well, sort of “fluid.” I was very Americanized. From the beginning, Mama and Peter have never judged me for my weaknesses but have consistently looked beyond that to bring out the good that lies underneath some of that corrupt exterior we all have.

I went on to help at the WIMM (World Wide International Mail Ministry) as a handyman-at least until I broke more things than I fixed, and so eventually worked more and more on office work where I was less of a wreck. Peter was actually only visiting when I landed in Switzerland, as he had been asked to work more with Dad and Mama, who were in France at the time, and they very much needed his help. This wasn’t an easy thing for him, as it required him being away from Abi and his kids. I eventually got mated to Abi and helped raise the kids, while Peter willingly sacrificed his time with them to do the work the Lord was calling him to do. Difficult decisions-but that’s Peter!

I later learned from Mama that it was out of her concern for Abi and her needs that she was led to ask for me to go to the WIMM, as she had the intuition that I would be a help to Abi.-And that’s Mama! From my experience, Mama puts the work first and she helps us in our service for the Lord to put Him first as well, but she is always concerned about our specific needs and what we’re going through, and desiring to do all she can to meet those needs. (Later, during a time when I was separated from Abi, I lived and worked with another precious leader, Robin, with whom I have great kids and who are all part of my family.)

So from the very beginning of our relationship, I saw the stuff that Peter was made of, and he’s been a tremendous encouragement to me. Over the years since 1979, I’ve worked in various WS units, some closer to the field, some more behind the scenes. Sometimes we worked near the Folks; other times we were in another field. Through the years, Mama and Peter have shepherded me through some real highs and some real, real lows. They’ve seen the best of me and the worst of me (so far, anyway). They commended me when I was doing well, and they’ve helped me when I wasn’t.

Sometimes that help was in the form of correction, and I have to say that I received the stiffest correction I ever got from Peter. As far as I could tell, I don’t think there were any holds barred on that one, ha! But without a shadow of doubt, those words were definitely the “wounds of a friend,” given at great personal effort. And it was given at a time when he and Mama knew that without the help, I was about to lose my spiritual orbit and go off into space, never to be heard of again. I needed help at that time and I needed correction. And Mama and Peter have always had the faith to give me what I needed. That’s not easy. It takes a lot of love. Anyone who is a shepherd knows that.

Some months later I got a little note from Mama. It’s in a tiny red envelope that I still carry in my wallet 15 years later. The cover says, “I thank God in all my remembrance of you. Philippians 1:3” And inside Mama wrote, “Dear Tom (big red heart), I love you! Thank you for your love, your faith, your dedication! I admire you for taking the ‘low seat’ and for your yieldedness and willingness to receive correction and your fight to get needed personal victories! You’re precious to us and we need you! Don’t give up! Keep going for Jesus! You’re doing a great work! Love, M.”

You see, without a doubt, both Mama and Peter have the faith that we can make it. And when we go through times of breakings or lesson learning, which is all part of our lives as disciples of Jesus, they are not only there for us, but they also have perfect faith that we can make it, and truly admire us for our dedication to the Lord. I’m convinced of that.

I made the foolish mistake one time of looking into another leader’s notebook after they had visited the Folks’ house. I thought there might be something in there about me. (Why on earth would I go out of my way to read something that would have been said about me? Well, I told you it was foolish.) I didn’t find anything after all, but it was a serious breach in the spirit for me to do that. Our life in the Family as disciples following Jesus as closely as possible is a serious calling. We are called to be a tight Family who can trust each other. To be looking through someone else’s notebook was a breach of that trust and it bothered me that I had yielded to that. I knew that I would be hindered in my spiritual growth, as it was a type of “cigar” coming between me and the Lord, as the old story goes. So I wrote Mama about it.

Mama wrote me back a very encouraging reply, once again looking past my sins and seeing the positive work of what the Lord was doing in my heart. Because I had coughed up what was not only an embarrassing mistake, but also one that would by all carnal reasoning cause me to be less trusted, she wrote that she felt that she could trust me more. Perhaps, she said, not trust me to not peek into another’s notebook, but to trust me to be open and honest if I did. She saw something greater that the Lord had done in my life.

The story doesn’t end there, though. It must have been about three months later when I was at a meeting with Peter that I asked if I could look at a computer that he was using. It had some programs on it that he was testing, and so I asked if I could take a look at it. He was about to lie down for a nap, so he handed me the computer and said, “I’ve got some open files on it. Just don’t look at those, okay?” This is to the known notebook peep, ha! But once again, he trusted that I’d learned what I was supposed to learn from that experience and that I wouldn’t let it happen again. And to this day, I haven’t. Why? Because you know when you’re trusted and it makes you fight a little harder to not betray that trust. (Aside from the fact that I really don’t want to have to confess that again!)

Mama was traveling through the area I was in, in order to meet up with Peter after one of his trips. Rather than staying in a hotel she asked if she and her secretary could use a camper that was at our Home. I moved it to a local campground where they stayed. (One thing Mama and Peter do not do is waste a dime of God’s money!) It rained that night, and I came back in the morning to find Mama sleeping in a chair in the camper as the roof was leaking in several places. I couldn’t believe how cheerful she was!

“It’s okay, Abner! It started dripping on the bed, so I moved over to the side. Then it started dripping there, so I moved over to this nice cozy chair and I just prayed against any more drips and slept so well. The Lord kept it nice and dry here! Isn’t He wonderful?” I mean, it’s one thing to be polite, but she was just genuinely cheerful and happy and loving Jesus and thankful for the dry place she had to sleep, even if it was in a chair in a leaky camper. And you can bet that those wakeful hours at night were spent loving the Lord, praying for individuals in the Family, or listening to tapes and attending to her huge mountain of a workload.

When you’re around Mama in her normal living or work environment, you become aware that she is totally absorbed in loving the Lord first, and loving and helping others second. She totally lives to love and to serve. For me, she is the embodiment of Matthew 22:37-40.

If I could say anything about Mama and Peter in a few short sentences, it would be this: The Family could not be in better, more loving, concerned or capable hands. There is no one that I would trust more to carry the ball across the finish line of the Endtime, to faithfully follow wherever God leads regardless of the opinions of men or carnal reasoning. They have unswerving faith that comes from a deep connection with God, and they have a tireless dedication to the Lord, to His children, and to those who have not yet found His love. We’ve all seen that. They are both very loving shepherds and extremely capable executives. (They’re pretty smart, too, though they’ll just tell you it’s the Lord. It does take some brains to run such a large and complex organization as the Family today.) They need and deserve our prayers, our help, and our support. They are only human, and they are totally aware of their own human limitations. And they are utterly leaning on the power of God to finish the job.

I trust them with my life.

* * *

If That Isn’t Love?

By Bethy, 27, WS

The accusation that Mama and Peter treat badly those who are not totally “on board” or “loyal” upsets me, because I have personally witnessed the exact opposite. Not just on one occasion, but repeatedly over the years. A few instances immediately come to mind.

One was during the first two years of the Zine. As a Zine team, we had a ways to go in being fully united with each other, as well as on board with the way the Family was going. Although we were living in a different unit than the Folks at the time, we communicated with Mama frequently due to the nature of our work.

Mama would approve the work we did, and there were occasions when she would make a change that some did not agree with or had a question about. Sometimes the letters written back to Mama explaining the reasons someone did not agree with her were less than positive and could easily be termed as disrespectful, doubtful or accusing. This type of thing happened on many different occasions, and it never ceased to amaze me how loving and sweetly-presented Mama’s replies were. She always encouraged us to ask her if we had any questions or didn’t understand why she was making the change she did. On some occasions Mama conceded on our point, and other times she felt led otherwise and stood by her point.

But she was always ready to hear us out, and if she didn’t agree with us, she would explain it thoroughly and very lovingly.

I found out later just how hard all this was for Mama. It came to a point where she felt obligated to defend every change to us, and spent a lot of her time doing so. However, despite continued questions and disagreement with the direction she chose to go, she was always encouraging and loving and kind in her presentation, and took her time to explain things to us even when faced with personal criticisms and questions on her decisions. The fact that some chose not to accept the answers or the explanations was not Mama’s fault or the fault of her presentation.

I have on file forty different long letters Mama wrote to us over the period of a year and a half. These are not just, “Oh, could you change this word to say that” kind of letters, but these are all letters of explanation as to why she felt led to make a certain change, or they are responses to different ones’ letters to her.

Here is a quote from one of those letters that gives you an example of the way she treated these differing opinions and questions that were posed to her.

“I appreciated your bringing up the points that you did, and I understand your thoughts and how you could feel that way. I’m always glad to hear from you, and I appreciate your taking the time to write. It doesn’t worry me when I hear ideas or opinions contrary to my own.-I freely admit that I need lots of help, and I’ll always pray about it if something comes up that I haven’t already considered. So don’t hold back on telling me something just because you’re worried about bringing up a different opinion, because I appreciate it.

“I’m really thankful that you wrote me. I didn’t consider your letter out of it.-Quite to the contrary, as you’ll see in the message below, Dad commends you for asking honestly, he really loves you and is proud of you!-And I agree. Thanks for being such a blessing and big help to us through all that you do there.”

No one can tell me that Mama and Peter treat badly those who do not agree with them on everything. All I have seen is continued patience, love, understanding and kindness, even when they might have been personally hurt or disappointed by what people who disagree with them say or do.

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One time I was present with my dad [Peter] when a young person explained to him the kinds of difficulties and harsh treatment they had received in a “Victor” type program gone-wrong. It was pretty heartbreaking to hear. I looked over at him at one point, curious as to what his reaction would be, and he was crying. It touched my heart so much. Of course, it was sad to hear of the harsh correction that this dear one had undergone, but I was so touched to see my dad so personally affected by it as to bring him to tears. I could see he felt responsible in some way and was very saddened that things had reached such a point. With tears in his eyes, he very humbly asked forgiveness of this young person. Even though my dad had nothing to do, in my opinion, with the treatment the young person had gone through, I was so impressed by the fact that he felt personally bad and asked forgiveness. He didn’t have to, but he did. It’s something I’ll never forget.

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It’s been a great joy for me to be able to see Mama and my dad together. They love each other so much and they are so sweet and personable with each other. It has been a great blessing to have had more contact with them in recent years. And to see them with Trevor and Olivia, their grandchildren, is such a joy! They are typical grandparents-which means of course, the children behave much differently around them than they do around their parents, ahem! Well, not to worry, the Folks just enjoy the children so much. The first time they had the opportunity to be with both of them together, they wanted to take them “solo,” assuring Keana and I that they would be fine, that we should take a break and come back to pick up the kids in a few hours.

After about an hour, Keana and I, knowing our kids rather well, and being especially acquainted with the energy they contain, thought we might consider “checking in” to see how they were getting on. As we got close to the door, peals of laugher were ringing out, and when we came in, the kids were doing….well, you know…the things three-year-olds do, and highly entertaining Mama and Peter.

It was just hilarious to listen to Mama’s account of their time with the children later, and to witness Mama’s amusement at how much energy they contain. “Do they ever sit still for more than a few minutes?” was her question. She and my dad had planned ahead of time what they would do with the children-a plan involving lunch, story, coloring, etc. All of which was completed in about 45 minutes, much to their surprise.

As a mother, knowing your kid is going to be spending a few hours of “quality time” with Queen Maria and King Peter without you around can be a little unnerving. You wonder what on earth they will think about your less-than-perfect three-year-old afterwards. So it was quite a relief to find they were just delighted with the children and with the chance to spend time with them, despite the food that had spilled on the table, the marks that had been accidentally drawn on the couch and the fact that the kids couldn’t sit still for longer than two minutes for a story. Mama commented, “I need to brush up on my pre-school skills, I can see.” But they immediately began fashioning great plans for an outing-although they wisely decided to bring the mothers and perhaps a “support staff” along next time, ha!

Although we don’t live in the same unit as the Folks, when we were nearby and whenever possible they’ve always tried to make special times to see and fellowship with the kids. Even when they were busy or had to take care of other things, they would schedule some special time to spend with them. Once we had a big meeting, and of course the children didn’t attend; however, they had dinner with just the kids afterwards in their bedroom. They gave them little plastic flowered “leis” as a gift, which they promptly donned and started their own little “Hawaiian dance school” in the room. The kids insisted that Grandpa Peter do a “Hawaiian prayer” for the meal, which he did, much to their delight, actions, dancing and all. After the meal, they played hide and seek. The kids took turns hiding and then it was Grandma and Grandpa’s turn. It was so fun for me to watch Mama scurrying around the room, trying to find a suitable hiding place while the kids counted from the bathroom. She settled on standing behind the curtain. Grandpa Peter was found easily, but Mama had to stay hidden for quite a while as the kids “searched” for her. Finally, this stifled giggle came from behind the curtain, giving her away, and everyone was laughing when the kids finally pulled the curtain away. It was so wonderful for me to watch.

Mama and Peter are so natural and normal, and to see them interact with their grandchildren is such joy and so fun. They always love to hear any funny stories we have about the kids.

* * *

It’s Our Right to Believe What We Wish!

By Dawn (formerly Lois), CRO, Europe

My name is Dawn-some of you may have known me as Lois. I’m very proud, thankful and happy to say that I’m coming up to the 30^th anniversary of my years in this wonderful Family, next month in fact!-Quite an achievement, some would say, but I know it’s simply a case of “by the grace of God stand I,” a testimony to His strength and keeping through my many times of weakness and desperation over these three decades. And I couldn’t be more thankful that He has done so!

Thirty years is quite a stretch out of anyone’s life, and as I’m sure each of you could testify of your own years in the Family, whether they be many or relatively few-the Lord really knows how to make each year a whopper, exactly what we need! I have been through many changes and “revolutions” in the Family. I have been involved in front-line witnessing and teaching my children to do so, as well as years in other type of work-secretarial, behind-and-in-front-of-the-scenes, shepherding of WS units, and most recently the Lord has entrusted me to help with the shepherding of the Family as a CRO, a responsibility which I am very desperate about.

Well, these are pretty tough times we’re living in, times which “try men’s souls” in many ways, and times in which the battles we’re called upon to fight are getting fiercer and fiercer. The spiritual warfare we’re engaged in is very obvious to those who have their eyes opened to what the words and sights and sounds that we’re surrounded with really mean-and to me they mean that the gauntlet has been thrown down with a force that it hasn’t until now, and it’s time for us to take it up with equal force and determination as we fight back.

I recently read something which a former member of our Family wrote-an explanation of his interpretation of some past events, the conclusions he’s reached regarding some of our Family beliefs, as well as his impressions and denouncement of Dad, Mama and Peter. He’s obviously chosen his path, as he has decided to remove himself from our membership, and as I have just explained above, I have chosen mine. I have written a few testimonies over the years on specific subjects or lessons as they have come up in my life, and you have gotten a peek into some of my highs and lows through the desperate introductory letter to “Let Jesus Bear the Weight” and a few other Letters. But this time is different.

I love you, my dear fellow Family members. This Family is my life, my chosen profession and dedication, my passion and my calling. I have no doubt that it was our wonderful Savior and Lover, dear Jesus, who called me to this ragtag band 30 years ago, and I have no doubt that He still wants me to be a part of it today. And you-each of you who daily make that same decision with me-are part of what I live and die for. Of course Jesus comes first, and without His wonderful Words and the channels through which He has chosen to pour it, our dear Dad, Mama and Peter, we wouldn’t have the Family to live in and for and with, nor to bring others to. All these things I am proud of and hold my head high when thinking or speaking of them.

But this Family is under attack-serious attack. It’s nothing new, as the Lord’s Words and prophets-and of course the Lord Himself-have been under attack since the beginning, as Satan the usurper desired to have God’s Kingdom and His children as his own. I have experienced many different and varied attacks on the Family, all of which you can read about in the annals of our history in the Letters and publications, and I have fought back in different ways at different times-prayer, working on Word compilations, being a part of one of our major court case teams, and prayer, prayer and prayer again!-And thank the Lord, He delivered us from each one, whether they were inside or outside attacks-and we still stand today.

But this present attack is different-as there will probably be many new and different methods employed by the Enemy over the years to come-and this one seems to be hitting its mark with our Family members directly, especially our tender, vulnerable, very potential second generation. In this attack, the writings and surmisings of those who proclaim themselves to be “in the know” raises questions about aspects of things which have been “behind the scenes” for many years: questions about Dad and Mama and Peter and their true nature, questions about their motives and character, questions about the sincerity of what we read about them in the pubs and whether it reflects reality, questions about the preparation of the Word for pubbing and thus its veracity, and so on.

Theirs are hard-hitting accusations, and they hit at those who don’t have much to counterattack with, because those of us who have had the blessing of being able to personally meet and live with the Folks have been relatively few. I am one of those, and my experience and conclusions are vastly different from those who write such scathing and demeaning treatises, so much so that it’s difficult to believe that we’re speaking of the same people-our King Peter and Queen Maria, and of course, Dad too!

It’s as if two people are walking a parallel path, side by side through much of the scenery, fields and parks and whatnot that they’re traveling through. Their paths veer off from each other from time to time, and then merge for a time again. And then at the end of the road, one looks back and describes a journey of horror and darkness and gloom, while the other describes a path of difficulties at times, but one in which there were some loving and caring hands there at all times to help them find their way, and which helped to make the journey one which I’m very thankful to say continues on today. Well, he told his story, and now I will tell mine.

My more intimate relationship with Dad and Mama began around 1983, when they moved to the Philippines where my husband, Apollos, and I and our children had been living for some time already. At that time we helped them to get set up in some temporary housing, and then helped them at various times as their team grew to accommodate the needs of the services they needed to tend to. Those were wonderful years of living close to them, of being for the first time under their direct shepherding, of benefiting from their guidance and closer hand in our lives, as well as their correction when we needed it. I began at that time to understand what Dad and Mama and Peter’s shepherding was really all about-and to describe it would be like trying to describe a rainbow, as it’s so multi-faceted and beautiful.

Just a little example: One time I was leaving one of the nearby unit-Homes after an evening of fellowship with them. It was rainy and a bit slippery, and true to my goatish nature, I hoofed it out down the driveway by myself, and promptly slipped and hit bottom hard-being a few months pregnant at that! Apollos picked me up and I hobbled home, and spent a few painful days with extra padding on my seat. When Mama heard about it, the response was one of those “rainbow” ones I mentioned, a bit of everything!

I got lots of sympathy and compassion, prayer and words of concern, was told to be sure to rest and not overdo; and then was chided for walking off on my own without holding on to my husband’s arm, and him for not taking ahold of it as he should whenever we’re out together, so that we could be a help and support to each other. Dad’s example came into the picture too, of how this is what he has taught Mama, and how we should be with each other-the men to be gentlemen and be there for the women, and the women to allow their partners to be gentlemen to them.

I could fill pages with such examples, and maybe I will some time. But with 17 years to cover from the time I began to know the Folks more personally, I’ll have to limit it this time. But perhaps a brief summary of some of the events and times and situations which stand out to me over the years will help to paint the picture a little more clearly of what this journey with them has been for me.

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Around 1985, during the time of the “wind down” of WS, Peter met with my husband and me to explain how they felt the Lord was leading for some of the families in WS that had children who were getting older to move to the field, that this would help to better meet the growing needs of the children, as well as help WS be able to better concentrate on their projects for the Family. This was a big change for us, leaving friends and loved ones, stepping out after years of behind-the-scenes work to the “unknown” of field life, including the decision of whether Apollos and I would go together or how it would all work!

The Lord had given me a verse as I was praying before meeting with Peter, which prepared me for the news he was going to share. Peter didn’t know of the Lord’s preparation of my heart, and it was obvious that it was very difficult for him to break the news to us-in fact, it was very painful for him, anticipating that it would be a very difficult heartbreak for us. His tears and honest and sincere compassion meant more to me than anything could have, and I knew that his heart was one that truly fit the description of rejoicing with them that rejoice, and weeping with them that weep. I have seen this time and again from not only Peter, but from Dad and Mama too, as after all, Peter was their “student,” and this was the sample and heart he had seen and learned from them.

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Mama helped me greatly in the transition the Lord asked me to make from being a behind-the-scenes, shy and withdrawn secretary to someone with shepherding responsibilities. This first came about as I was asked to accompany some of the ambassadors (Abi, Juan, and Gary), as they held delegates meetings for training in different parts of the world, followed by the TTC in Mexico. As unaccustomed and disliking as I was of any kind of public speaking, or even much one-on-one shepherding, Mama went very slowly and patiently with me. She never condemned or berated me for my hesitancies and fears, but rather encouraged me not to worry about it, to just be myself, and that others had seen enough of the big, strong vocal leaders, and it would do them good to see someone a little meeker and milder, who nevertheless the Lord could use.

Her own sample has been a great encouragement to me in this regard, and I have never seen her condemn or look down on others for their weaknesses or lacks. In fact, she has tremendous understanding and compassion on the weak and on those who battle, truly seeing herself as weak and needy of the Lord’s help in every area, as nothing without Him, and she reflects the faith that the Lord is capable and desirous of helping us all.

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I saw the Folks’ patience, mercy, and forgiveness extended to me many times, both during times of battling with my besetting weaknesses and sins such as self-righteousness, as well as after some serious blow-its. Once we were preparing a series of newspaper articles for a major local newspaper, and I worked on finalizing corrections and last-minute changes before they were sent to the Family members who would submit them to the newspaper for printing. One day Peter came to me asking if I for sure had sent the final draft of the last article, and if so, why had the Family member who received it questioned something which was supposed to have already been corrected? And lo and behold (and woe is me!), I had sent off one of the rough drafts instead of the finalized one-a very serious mistake considering it was for a broad GP readership!

But I received mercy-a little sad shaking of the head with a thankful sigh that someone had caught it-and that was enough for me to have some very desperate prayer time with Jesus, asking His forgiveness and help to be more on the ball and sober and prayerful, and never do that again!-And did someone else take care of the final draft the next day?-No, everything continued as it had, except for a much more serious and prayerful secretary, and a greater understanding through the mercy I’d received of what true unconditional love and trust really means.

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Over the years that I lived and worked with Dad, Mama, and Peter, I have been involved to some degree or another in their praying or counseling about many different people and situations. I can never recall them speaking or counseling about someone in anger or with any feelings or terms or expressions which would indicate that they didn’t like a person, were upset with them, had any motives of vengeance or harm, or anything like that. I have only experienced and felt their love, concern, empathy, sympathy, and deep desire to do all they could to help, whether it was by being able to understand a person or situation better and thus being able to give the counsel that was needed; hearing from the Lord for or about them; and of course praying for them and asking the Lord to work in lives and hearts as needed.

I’d like now to move on to more recent years. Perhaps one of the most difficult times for all of us was the persecution years beginning in 1992. In Europe during those years, we suffered raids on our Homes in Spain and France, as well as a major court case in England, which raised the question of whether our Family is a safe environment in which to raise our children. During much of that time I was involved with the court case battles in one way or another-at times living with those working on the case and being immersed from morning till night in the many details of it, at other times visiting and meeting with different media and legal teams about situations that had arisen, reading and writing reams of material about every aspect of the case and the various accusations which were thrown at us.

That time was one of those “crisis of faith” times for me, when because of the accusations which were hurled at us, which I was forced to read because of the need to pray and counsel with others about them, there were many different angles of our life and beliefs which I was confronted with which I hadn’t formerly considered. These were questions and criticisms about things which I had taken by faith these many years, questions which had previously never entered my mind, and accusations which sent the mind spinning with a completely different twist on things that I had previously believed with pure childlike faith-accusations of things such as child abuse, mindless adherence to a “cult” and “cult leader,” brainwashing, etc. So in the midst of trying to battle for the Family, I was faced with questions about my own faith and future, and knew that I had to reconcile these things with myself and the Lord.

So I did a lot of praying, rereading of the Word, studying and researching those things that I had taken with such faith and innocence before, to see if I still believed them in the face of these criticisms and contradictions. And in the end I made the decision that I did, that they were truth, that they were based on Scripture, that the spirit and fruits I’d seen in the Family were undeniable, and that it was worth fighting for.

I’ll come back to this reference point a little later, but in order to keep up with the chronological order of events of my personal experiences and interactions with the Folks, I’ll go on to another of my major battles, a few years later, when I again hit a low point. This was the time of “Let Jesus Bear the Weight,” when “troubles just tumbled about me and heavier came each task.” My letter to Mama and Peter at the beginning of that GN explains how low in faith and trust I had become, and their response was again a sample of their love and concern and true shepherds’ hearts. Peter came all the way from wherever he was to meet with me and our teamwork, with the main goal being to help strengthen me and to present me with a choice-to either grab ahold of the Lord’s strength and grace and learn to let Him bear the weight, thus being able to continue on with helping to shepherd the Family, or to let it all go and take an easier route of serving the Lord in a less strenuous capacity.

What I didn’t realize until Peter was with us for a few days was that his making this trip to meet with us was actually during the time of his and Mama’s honeymoon together! He had just received his new commission from the Lord and Dad, he proudly and humbly (at the same time) showed me the ring which was previously Dad’s but now on his finger, and told me that the Lord had put him and Mama together! Wow, what news! And here was I, being a “problem case,” resulting in calling Peter away from their honeymoon to baby-sit me!

Well, was I ever humbled when fully realizing the scope of their love enough to bend over that cliff to rescue this poor lost lamb. That’s the love I received from them, and this love is what I have seen as the motivation behind their decisions and actions time and time again-that of unselfishly, sacrificially and lovingly serving the flock, their fellow servants and mates in this Family that they love.

A few months after this incident when Mama began explaining in the Letters about how the Lord had put her and Peter together and had called and anointed Peter to be our king, I must somewhat ashamedly admit that I had a battle about it at first. I knew Peter fairly well and loved and admired him greatly. I had the blessing of working with him on different occasions over the years, and had been in meetings he’d held, counseling sessions and so on. Nothing had ever come up which would cause me to doubt his sincere love for the Lord and the Family, and his desperation to shepherd, lead, guide and serve us well.

But still, I was shaky in my initial acceptance of this change. Why?-Probably just because it was different, and because Peter wasn’t Dad, and because I had lived 15 years with Dad as our king-in other words, I was in a rut. But when praying about it, I remembered the sacrificial mission of love and mercy that Peter (and Mama by agreement and proxy) went on just to love and rescue me, to give me the opportunity to see through the fog that I had allowed to cloud my vision, that I might see clearly again in order to make a knowledgeable choice regarding how to proceed with my life.

I owed them much, as I’m sure I would have regretted a choice that would have been less than the Lord’s highest for me. And realizing what love I had received brought me to the conclusion that even if Peter isn’t Dad, I can accept him as the Lord’s chosen, for the Lord’s love through him and Mama had proven their anointing and right to royalty-our servant king and queen. I don’t know, maybe I’m such a weak vessel that the Lord had to engineer these circumstances to give me proof of Mama and Peter’s love and to help me have faith that they are truly the Lord’s chosen channels. But if that’s what it took, I accepted it gratefully and humbly, and my faith has never been disappointed.

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A year or so later, I have a similar story to tell-this time not of Peter coming to help me, but of me being invited to their Home for a time of rest and re-strengthening. Letting Jesus bear the weight didn’t come so easily for me, and on top of the continued workload which we had, I began struggling with the use of the gift of prophecy-not the doctrine or theology of it, but with my personal gift. I just didn’t seem to have it, and when all around me were receiving direction and answers and guidance through their gifts, mine seemed to grow dimmer and dimmer.

I had written to Mama about this and told her of my battles, and again the reply was one of love and faith that the Lord could and would do it, and then reaching out her hand to help pull me up. (You’d think by this time that they’d have come to the realization that maybe I was just too weak to hold any training or input or investment of time and attention they might give me, and just let me be. But that’s not their way-not with me, and not with any of their children, as far as I’ve seen.)

So I spent a wonderful three months with them, months which confirmed everything good I had ever heard about them, and decried every lie that had been uttered, including those that are presently being circulated. As I used the illustration earlier, living with Mama is like watching a rainbow grow and take its shape and form and color, and then watch as it maintains that fullness and completeness on an everyday basis. Mama is concerned about every aspect of the Family, the Family’s members, their hearts and lives and families, ups and downs, battles and victories, as well as the bigger picture of the Words that are being received and going through the stages to be sent to the Family, different projects in the works both in WS as well as worldwide. You name it, Mama is concerned and in prayer about it, and wants to make sure it’s right.

Those three months I was privileged to have many conversations with Mama about a large range of topics, and I was amazed at her capacity to hold so many situations and people and projects in her prayers and attention and concern all at the same time. Mama listened to every letter that came in to her, and many times our conversations were taken up largely by her desperate prayers for the ones who had written and their situations, that the Lord would give His help and answer their needs and prayers and bring victory-and of course, that He’d speak and give His Words of comfort and love or guidance and counsel. I saw (or rather heard of) Mama’s weeping through the night when reading the heartbreaking letter from the young woman whose letter prompted the “Jesus Our Good Shepherd” prophecies. No one was too little or unimportant-if their cry came before her, Mama was concerned for them.

Mama’s patience with me through my prophecy battles was a great help to me. She truly is that little girl of faith that Dad spoke about, who helped inspire and encourage his faith many times simply because she believed, and she continues to do the same with each of us today. Some of the accusations I have read about Mama are horrendous and ridiculous, and if there was any inkling of truth to them, I am sure there would be many more testimonies and outcries that we would have all heard about, and I’m sure I would have seen at least some hints of it during my visits and times with them. It’s sort of like the search for the “missing link”-if evolution is true, we should be knee-deep in’m!

But from my personal experiences as well as what I have observed to be their reaction and responses to others, I have seen only love and patience and compassion, and a very prayerful balance of shepherding and trusting the Lord to work in people’s lives. They were there when I needed them, there for me just as they are for you and everyone in our Family. I’ve seen their love and concern. I’ve seen Mama weep over letters she has received, heart cries that have caused her sleepless nights. I heard firsthand of her reaction to tragedies such as the Austin accident-such love and concern for her flock, and such a desire for the Lord to work and strengthen them, and to hear His answers and guidance for them.

Some have accused Mama and Peter of being “control freaks,” of wanting only conformity to their wishes and desires, to what they believe the Lord gives through them. But the love and concern I saw is not control-it’s tender loving care. Does a mother “control” her children? Does a mother’s love and concern and care translate to “control” to those who love and need her?-Sometimes, as with some it can be misdirected that way. But I don’t believe this is the case with Mama and Peter. As with the example of Peter’s visit to help me, they put forth clearly my options, and the decision of which path to take was up to me.

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I have also read accusations about myself-and about you too, by the way-that we are unthinking and naïve, that we have abdicated our right to choose in place of trusting Dad, Mama and Peter, and that we unquestioningly believe and obey whatever they say. Well, I would take exception to being called unthinking and naïve. I don’t think anyone who has been in the Family this long would be so without having put some thought and prayer into it, and without being aware of all the possible reasons why he or she shouldn’t! Ours isn’t an easy religion, as we all know. There are many difficulties and battles, both physically and spiritually. The Lord and the Folks have continually asked us to count the cost and to evaluate our status in the Family to make sure it accurately reflects our faith and actions.

There have been several points in the Family, such as recently with the call of decision to sign the Charter Membership contract, where the Folks basically said, “As of this point, there are no longer any Family members. If you want to be one, you have to sign up!” Those of us who signed certainly had to think (and pray!) to do that, especially as the contract included a list of the Charter Membership guidelines that we were agreeing to!

I don’t find any lack of thought or naivety there, and in fact the goal of the S2K, as well as other times of shaking the tree previous to that, was to only have those on board who were fully aware of what they were in the Family for, and fully in agreement.

And at this point I’ll go back to the crisis of faith which I explained earlier, during the time of persecution and the different court cases we were embroiled in. That time of re-evaluating what I believed in, as difficult as it was and as close to the brink I was as I looked down, served to set a stronger rock underneath me than had ever been there before. I looked the issues in the face, as well as the fruit of Dad and Mama’s shepherding of us all, and decided that in spite of the difficulties and problems, which I didn’t deny, I was still sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the Lord was in it and that He was continuing to be a very real and involved part of the Family. The Family was His “baby,” and our continuing to follow the radical lines He’d directed us down, in spite of the System’s persecution and disdain, only assured our continuing to stay in the center of His will and plan.

I hope you, my dear mates in this wonderful Family, take similar affront at such accusations against our intelligence and the decisions of faith which we have consciously and purposely made. It is certainly our right to believe what we wish, no matter how crazy or foolish it may seem to some. Isn’t that part and parcel of what we are called to as Christians? “I am become a fool for Christ’s sake!” (I’m sure you can quote many others along similar lines!)

Am I unthinking and naïve just because I choose to believe that which someone else doesn’t or can’t? I would hope not, although we know we shouldn’t be surprised that such accusations are leveled against us more and more, with greater and costlier repercussions. “If we have run with the footmen and they have wearied us, what shall we do in the time of horses?”

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The second part of the accusation I mentioned above, that we have abdicated our right to choose in place of trusting Dad, Mama and Peter, and that we unquestioningly believe and obey whatever they say-well, in a sense that’s true, and for those of us who have chosen this path of CM membership in the Family, we have done so knowing and understanding what it means-“with full consent.” I have no problem with giving over my “right to choose,” my right to discern what is true and false, to the Lord’s choice of Mama and Peter as our prophets and shepherds. This is what I knowingly and with full control of my faculties choose-what I believe to be their anointing and inspiration as the Lord’s mouthpieces for us in these End Times.

Were God’s people in the pages of the Bible unthinking and naïve in giving their full faith and obedience to the guidance of the Lord through Moses? (It was those who didn’t who were in trouble!)-Or Noah (same answer!)? How about David or any others of the Lord’s prophets for their times and places? Why should it be any different now?

And why should the radicalness and differentness of some of the messages which we are receiving today cause us to waver or doubt, or to proclaim that they are false prophets spewing out a mass of weirdnesses? “Did God Make a Mistake?” covered it all very well, the story down through the ages of prophet after prophet who were given unorthodox messages and means of getting God’s point across, proving that God is certainly not bound to our limited and conventional means and mindsets!

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But the other side of this “abdicating my right to choose” and “unquestioningly believing and obeying whatever they say” is that I can speak up, I’m encouraged to do so, and I most certainly do! Mama and Peter, taking into consideration that they are the Lord’s prophets and His chosen shepherds of our Family, are incredibly open and have made it clear that they welcome and desire our comments, thoughts, observations and feelings. About what?-Anything and everything!

I and the other CROs have had the blessing of being able to receive some of the New Wine in rough draft form before it comes out to the Family, particularly some of the series which will have a major effect on the Family such as the “Loving Jesus” series and the “Law of Love” series. We have been asked to prayerfully read them and to submit any questions, comments, reservations, possible reactions from our Family members, and anything we’d like to contribute. You might ask, “Well, if prophecy is prophecy and the Lord is guiding us through that, then why ask the opinions of others, and how can Mama possibly change something that may be in question if it is the Lord Who gave it?” I’ve asked that question myself.

But I’ve seen a wisdom and openness and relationship with the Lord in Mama which goes beyond merely taking dictation and proceeding without question. Mama takes her “winetaster” role very seriously, and in order to be able to see and understand all angles of a situation, she often employs the help of others-a very wise thing to do! And I am sure that each one of us who has ever been asked has been very desperate to be a “wise counselor” to her.

And as far as “unquestioningly believing and obeying whatever they say”-well, as I explained, we can question, just as can you. Mama has encouraged legitimate questions, and has encouraged the shepherds of the Family (whether Continental or Area or Home), to help direct anyone with questions to the appropriate answers in the Word, or to ask the Lord for the answers if none can be found. You and I are also free to ask questions directly of Mama, and these are also welcomed.

But there does come a time when our role is to “unquestioningly believe and obey whatever they say”-or rather whatever the Lord gives them. This is the proverbial “bottom line,” and the point of faith that each of us must have in order to be a Charter Member-that we “believe that David was God’s Endtime prophet and that Maria is God’s chosen and anointed successor, who has inherited David’s mantle as God’s prophetess.” (From The Love Charter.) This is my belief in the Lord’s calling and anointing upon them and in the Words the Lord gives through them. And as such, I choose to follow where the Lord leads them, as I certainly trust their channel more than my own-both because of the fruit I’ve seen the Lord’s Words through them bear, as well as because of the experiences I have of them being truly motivated and loving and sincere shepherds and followers of our King.

It’s simple arithmetic, if you believe the spiritual principles upon which the theocracy of the Family is founded. Such following of the Word doesn’t detract from our Charter rights to hear and find the Lord’s will for ourselves and our own lives. It’s just that as Family members, one of the things we believe and adhere to is that we have a spiritual king and queen, prophets who hear from God, and who we look to for our guidance through this ever-darkening world.

But I understand how it’s so easy, once the filter of faith is knocked askew somewhat, to see things in a totally different light than when looking through spiritually seeing eyes. What we see and believe in the realm of the spirit is a very delicate thing-it’s there and it’s real and it’s so precious, to be tended and nurtured with great care. But there are so many things which can spoil it or cause it to dim or even be lost completely-compromise; bitterness and resentment; pride; the admittance of pollutants such as System attitudes and values which go contrary to the Word, but which can seem so logical and right; not standing up for our beliefs in the face of mockery and criticism, thus weakening our conviction by accepting the shame in our beliefs that people place on us, etc.

It could be any one of these things that has caused the path which some of our former members describe to sound so different than the one which I have experienced during my years in the Family. That’s not to say that it’s been without its battles and trials and disappointments at times. But the truth stands sure-and I’m standing up too. I’m standing up and proclaiming that I’m putting my lot in with the Lord and His guidance of this Family through our loving Dad and Mama and Peter, and with the future which He’s moving us towards. The day of march has surely come, and I am thankful that I can say “I am not ashamed; for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day” (2Tim.1:12).

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Yes, I’m Proud of Our Family!

By Francis Fisherman, 31, Mama’s Home

Hi! I’m Francis Fisherman. I’ve been living in Mama and Peter’s Home for about five years now, and was in another WS unit for a year before that. I work closely with Mama and Peter, and with Peter in particular since I assist them with matters that concern the administration of the Family. I also oversee the production of our GP materials, the Activated program, marketing of our tools, and related projects.

I wasn’t born in the Family, but my parents joined when I was three, so I was raised in the Family almost my whole life. I’m 31 now, so I don’t know whether I still qualify as a “young person,” but I still feel like one, and I still think like one in many ways. I can certainly relate to and identify with the SGAs who may be younger than me, but who share the same common background and heritage.

I’m writing this in response to the letter that James Penn (Phil) wrote with his thoughts on the Family, our doctrine, leadership, WS, and Mama and Peter. I lived with James for a year prior to coming to Mama and Peter’s Home, and communicated with him a fair bit after that on work-related issues, until his decision to leave the Family a year or so ago. I got along well with James, or Ray as he went by at the time, and he was fun and interesting to talk with. So knowing James, it saddened me to read the accusations that he put in his letter, especially those against Mama and Peter. It was just hard to believe that this was the same person that I knew and lived with. He’s very logical and a good debater, but the bitterness was just too obvious in his writings. People change, I guess.

I can understand James’ and other former members doctrinal differences with the Family. A lot of people disagree with Loving Jesus, the use of so much prophecy in the Family, the Law of Love, etc., and that’s just fine with me. I don’t really care what other people think about those things and whether they think these or other Family doctrines are right or wrong. The way I look at it, if I’m going to believe in something, I believe in it not because other people agree with me or not-but because I believe it to be so, because examination of the facts, and what I feel in my heart, convince me that it is so. Those who disagree are entitled to believe what they want. We’ll find out in the afterlife who was right and who was wrong, and we can sort it out then. I don’t care for theological debates that much actually (other than for the purpose of witnessing and getting people saved)-I’m mainly concerned with whether I’m doing the best thing that I can do with my life here on Earth. The belief stuff we can sort out when we get to Heaven.

Don’t get me wrong, here. I’m not saying that I don’t care about the Family’s beliefs and doctrines, and that I don’t believe them. I do believe in them strongly. But I don’t like debating doctrine, because faith is a personal conviction, not something that can be resolved through debate and logic. If it was always logical, then it wouldn’t be faith, “for hope that is seen is not hope” (Romans 8:24). All that to say, I’m not going to get into that here.

But the things James and others have said about Mama and Peter really upset me, because I live with them, and have lived and worked very closely with them for the past five years. James hasn’t lived with them for many years (I don’t know exactly how many, but at least eight or nine), nor even worked that closely with them via mail for the five years that I’ve been in this Home, so I don’t know how he can pass himself off as an authority on what they’re like. If anyone’s an authority on Mama and Peter’s character, it’s those of us who have lived and worked with them every day in recent years.

So I feel compelled to write up some of the true “inside scoop” of what life is really like here and what Mama and Peter are really like and what their leadership is like. I not only live in this Home, but I teamwork with Peter closely. (I don’t interact with Mama as much as I do Peter, but still a fair bit-and I did more so a couple of years ago when helping her with various pubs projects.) As such, I’m privy to a lot of information about how the Family is run, what decisions are reached by Mama and Peter, how those decisions are reached and the prayer and reasoning behind them, the communications that go out of here, etc. I’m not trying to boast, but I think it’s helpful to explain that I’m pretty in the know about what goes on here, unlike some people who claim to be, but aren’t!

Let me explain a few things about myself. I don’t consider myself to be a very spiritual person. I love the Lord, I believe in the Word and the Family, but I’m a very pragmatic, down-to-earth type of person. I like to deal in facts and figures, not feelings. I’m a lot like a number of other SGAs I know, in that I’m quite analytical and I like to look at things as logically as possible. I like to be convinced about things in my heart, and I don’t just accept things at face value. I’m a far cry from the “unquestioning believer and obeyer” WS stereotype that James tried very hard to portray in his letter. C’mon, James, I thought you knew me better than that.

In fact, I’m a bit of a tough nut, and if you thought that Mama and Peter only live with people who are blindly yielded to anything they say, and ready to do anything just because they say so, then if you knew me you’d probably wonder what in God’s Earth am I doing in their Home, much less working closely with them? I wonder that myself sometimes, ha! For one, it’s because Mama and Peter don’t care to surround themselves with “yes men” who are just going to unquestioningly follow their every word without raising a peep! And I’m living proof to that. (Oops, there went another of James’ theories.)

At the same time, as I mentioned before, I have learned that there comes a time when I just have to make a decision whether or not to believe and accept something even if I don’t understand it and can’t reason it out. That’s called faith. I’m faced with that sort of decision from time to time. Some of the things that the Lord has shown Mama and Peter, like the Loving Jesus revelation, or so much use of prophecy, have not always been easy for me to understand or accept. Some of these things I couldn’t reason out in my mind completely. So I’ve had to make a choice to accept those things by faith because I believe that Mama and Peter are being led of the Lord and they’re hearing from Him, or else believe that they’re either making this stuff up or being duped by the Devil. That’s really what it comes down to.

Fortunately for me, I have an advantage in that I know Mama and Peter very well. So when it comes down to that decision, it’s not a difficult one. I logically examine each of the possible options:

1. “They’re just making the Lord’s Words up as part of their master strategy plan to get us to follow their delusions:” For that to happen, they’d have to be pulling the wool over my eyes and the eyes of a lot of other people in our Home. Pretty impossible, if I might say so. I live with some folks who I consider pretty intelligent and sharp, both FGAs and SGAs. I have a real hard time picturing them as mindless. If you don’t mind, I have a hard time picturing myself as mindless too, ha! Also, Mama and Peter would have to be somehow sending me subliminal messages so that when I pray and hear from the Lord myself, unsolicited by them, and ask the Lord about things in the GNs, what I get from the Lord confirms what they got. Sorry, I don’t believe in magic mind manipulation, at least not my mind-not to mention everyone else’s here.

2. “They’re being duped by the Devil into leading the Family astray:” If there is anyone who I know loves Jesus with all their heart, it’s Mama, and Peter too. I never met Dad personally, but from reading the nearly 3,000 Letters that he wrote, regardless of what people accuse him of or what mistakes he made, I could feel an unquestionable love for and devotion to Jesus. And I feel the same from Mama and Peter. I’ve seen it day after day in countless examples. They’re always praising Jesus, thanking Jesus, talking about Jesus, pointing me to Jesus-their lives are full of Jesus. I don’t even think our bitterest enemies could accuse Dad and Mama of not lifting up Jesus. So how could the Devil be promoting so much Jesus in my life? It doesn’t make sense. So I can very easily eliminate this option.

3. So that leaves me with option 3, which is that they are being led by the Lord and His Spirit. It’s the only explanation left. So I believe it, and I trust them. I’m reminded of the verse, “Beware lest ye be found to fight against God.” If it is the truth and I resist it and find out I’m wrong later on when I get to Heaven, then I’ll be sorry in the end.

One thing I know for sure is that I don’t have the same love and devotion for Jesus that Dad did, and that Mama and Peter do. I love the Lord with all my heart and try my best to serve Him, but if I’m honest with myself I know it doesn’t match theirs. So who should I trust to be right about whether something is from the Lord or not? Should I trust myself, or should I trust Mama and Peter? I’d much rather trust them, because I know they’re closer to Jesus than I am. I see it in their daily lives. (I’m certainly not going to trust James and what he says, because I don’t know much about his love and dedication for the Lord, nor have I seen the fruits of it recently; rather to the contrary, sadly.)

And if I’m having a real hard time with something, like I did with so much emphasis on prophecy at the beginning, or even with certain specific prophecies, here’s how I look at it: I trust Mama and Peter because of the sample that I’ve seen in them of dedication to Jesus and lifting up Jesus-not themselves, but Jesus. But even if-worst case scenario-we get to Heaven and I find out that Mama and Peter were wrong, and that it was all made up or a delusion, and that the Lord never told them to hear so much from Him in prophecy, and that the Loving Jesus revelation was just their own imagination, that the Law of Love didn’t originate from Heaven either, that the prophecies in the GNs were false, what is Jesus going to do? Is He going to punish me for trying to hear from Him more? Is He going to be upset at me for trying to love Him more with all my heart and mind and even body? Is He going to berate and cast me out for trying to be a sample of His love to others by sharing sexually with them? C’mon, let’s be real here! If He would, He’s not the Jesus I read about in the Bible, so I might as well throw the whole thing out and become an atheist!

So as you can see, even when looking at things in a totally logical analytical way, I figure it’s a win-win situation! Not that we should be looking at things analytically, but occasionally when my faith has been tested and tried, it has helped me to break things down like this and find that indeed I am doing the right thing by placing my trust in Dad, Mama and Peter.

So in writing about Mama and Peter, and the accusations that James (and others) make against them, my comments are built on the foundation that I trust Mama and Peter. That’s really what it comes down to in the end, doesn’t it? Now James might say that I’m just following blindly, but trust is not blind acceptance. Rather, trust is something that is built up over time as a result of events or interaction in which you know the person to be truthful, honest, loving, and worthy of that trust. My experiences in the Family for years, and then living and working with Mama and Peter, have resulted in that trust being built up. It was not an overnight thing, but rather came about as I saw firsthand their sample of love for Jesus, and became convinced of their love and concern for the Family and for the lost.

I think it’s that last point that has made the biggest impression on me. I have had a lot of discussions with Peter about Family policy, or certain situations, and he always shows a great deal of concern for each Family member, and how such and such a policy is going to affect them. He makes it clear that our job as leaders in the Family is to serve the folks in each Home, to help them fulfill their calling of serving the Lord. Yes, I am a servant. But I’m not a servant to Mama and Peter, even though I work for them. Ultimately I’m a servant to Jesus and the Family, and that’s what Mama and Peter are too. You know the Letter, “Without Love It’s Nothing”? Well, the love and concern that Dad shows for the Family in that Letter expresses very well how I’ve seen Peter operate.-And Mama too, of course. I’m just talking more about Peter because I work with him more closely than I do Mama. His sample is very convicting in that regard.

It’s very evident in the regular counsel meetings that Peter and Matthew and I have together that Peter carries the responsibility of co-leading the Family with Mama very seriously, and it’s a heavy weight on his shoulders. He and Mama do it because the Lord has given them this job and they love Him and don’t want to fail Him, and because they really care about each Family member. I know from talking with them that their goal is to give their lives so that we all can serve the Lord better. As a result of their sample, that has become my goal as well.

But I know for a fact that they would not want the job if it was just for their own benefit or gratification. I see what they do, I know what their job entails, and believe me, as young and ambitious a person as I am, I would not want the job. It’s a horrible weight! Just the knowledge that about 13,000 people around the world are looking to you for direction and the Lord’s Words, plus the practical side of running such a multi-faceted organization such as we have in the Family with the needs of so many different people to consider-children, parents, singles, single parents, teens, outside sheep, catacombers, etc.-is frightening! And then on top of it to have people attacking you for it and persecuting you! I’m amazed that they don’t have a nervous breakdown! I guess it’s just their faith in the Lord that He’s in control.

Speaking of Mama, I have never in my life seen someone work as hard as she does. She is a living example of a shepherd laying down her life for the sheep (despite James’ claims to the contrary). I consider myself to be a hard worker, but I don’t hold a candle to Mama. Her life is her work, and her work is 100% devoted to helping the Family, answering people’s questions, going over the pubs, praying about and for situations that need help. I like to take days off, have fun, play games, watch movies, etc., but she doesn’t do any of that-well, hardly ever. I wish she would take more time off! I have to admit that at times it’s even bothered me that she works so hard, because in my pride I’ve felt that I have to match that, and I can’t. It would be interesting to calculate exactly what her daily average of work hours is, but my estimate from living with her is around 14-15 hours a day, 7 days a week. No matter what she’s doing, she’s almost always got a taperecorder going and is listening to some work.

So what’s my point? My point is, why in the world would anyone work as hard as Mama with so little in return? She and Peter are well established as the leaders of the Family, just like Dad was before them. She could work less than half as much as she does now, and the Family would keep on going and serving the Lord without hardly a hiccup. So why do it? For money? I happen to know a bit about the Family finances from working with Peter, and I know that what comes in goes back out in services to the Family. So no money. Even our enemies know that. For power? Just to feel in control? Just to get people’s adoration? People in the System do push themselves very hard to get that sort of thing. But in Mama’s case that logic doesn’t fit, because she could have all that with much less effort on her part. If her motives were selfish, she wouldn’t push herself to the limit for the Family like she does. Besides, she’s always pointing me to Jesus, trying to get me to hear from Jesus personally, not to go to her for the answers to things, but to go to Jesus. That’s not a “cult of the personality,” it’s a “Jesus cult,” ha! I am therefore convinced, both from her words and her deeds, that what motivates her is Jesus, pure and simple. Love for Jesus, obedience to Jesus. “The love of Christ constraineth her.”

Here’s an example of this: There have been a couple of times over the past few years when I’ve asked Mama about cutting down on the number of GNs that we send out to the Family. Not because I feel there’s anything wrong with the GNs, but it’s a heck of a lot of work to get them all out! It takes a real toll on Mama, as well as on a few other very dedicated souls in our Home who help her. Plus it costs money, is more work for the NPCs, etc. What do you think Mama’s answer was each time we discussed it? “What about the folks who are having battles about such-and-such and need some counsel on that subject?” “What about the parents whose kids have left the Family and are in need of encouragement and are desperate to know what the Lord has to say about it?” “What about the young people who are faced with questions on what to do about such-and-such?” “What about the bad samples in our Homes that need to be addressed and corrected so that they can reflect more the spirit of Jesus?” And so on. My thoughts were, “They’ll get by on a little less-let’s slow it down.” (Now aren’t you glad that Mama doesn’t listen to everything her counselors tell her? Ha!) But her response was along the lines of, “But if it will help them, shouldn’t we give it to them while we have it beside us to give? Why wait if they need the help now?”

There are so many different people in the Family and each has different needs, and Mama tries as hard as she can to receive (through Peter and her channels in our Home) and pass on the Lord’s counsel on those issues. And sure enough, we get back responses to each of those GNs from someone, saying how much it helped them and came at just the right time. And as far as Mama is concerned, if it’s even just for that one person, then it’s worth it. And there’s no one making her do it except the conviction of the Holy Spirit in her heart. To me that is unquestionable proof of her love and devotion to all of us, and the purity of her motives.

James says that Mama and Peter are, and I quote, “abusive, controlling, manipulative, self-centered, deceitful, and callous leaders who were willing to do just about anything to save their reputations and preserve their image.” He says that he reached this conclusion after years of living and working with them years ago. I didn’t live with them years ago, so I can’t speak for then. So maybe five years ago, when I moved into their Home, Mama and Peter had a miraculous conversion from being horrible people to the very loving and concerned people that I’ve known-and continue to know-them to be. Likely? I think not.

As far as being willing to do anything to preserve their own image, that’s an easy one to disprove. If there was anything that risked destroying Mama and Peter’s image, it was the Loving Jesus revelation. If they were selfish and concerned about keeping the Family under tight control, being of good reputation, etc., then publishing that revelation was the stupidest move they could have ever made. And they’re far from stupid-even those who disagree with them can attest to that. I was with them when they published the Loving Jesus revelation and talked with them extensively about it (unlike James, who was not living with them at the time). I even argued in favor of postponing publishing it for the Family because I didn’t think that people could handle it. I have to confess that I was more worried about their reputation than they were. But they were convinced it was from the Lord, and therefore chose to “obey God rather than man,” regardless of the consequences to their leadership or reputation. I personally don’t know anyone else who would have had that kind of courage. That’s why I’m proud of serving Jesus with them. They don’t compromise for personal gain, no matter what the cost.

And the result? Sure, some people left the Family over the Loving Jesus revelation, but our stats show that the Family’s population is still growing. 1204 disciples, not counting babies born, have joined the CM Family since the LJ revelation was published. Interestingly enough, that’s a 25% increase over the 5 years prior to the LJ revelation, when only 964 new disciples joined the CM Family. (I use CM stats in this example because people joining the FM Family wouldn’t even necessarily know much about the LJ revelation.) James, on the other hand, affirms that “no adult in his right mind joins the Family anymore these days.” So in case you didn’t know it, all of you who have joined the CM Family in the last few years are not in your right mind. So maybe you were brainwashed into joining the Family. Oh yes, I forgot, sociologists have disproved brainwashing. Uh, let’s see, maybe you were love-bombed? Oh, right, we don’t allow sex with new disciples anymore, so scratch that one. Let me see, could it be that you joined the Family to serve Jesus? No, certainly not. No one in their right mind would want to serve Jesus, right?

Back to LJ. Despite the fact that some have left, I’ve read hundreds of responses from Family members around the world saying how much it has helped them. Last year we conducted an anonymous survey of 600 Family members (16 and up) in South America, and 98.4% said that they accept or believe in the LJ revelation. And 79.9% said that they practice it personally in some form. In addition, 88% said that the LJ revelation has had either a “great” (55.7%) or “some” (31.5%) improvement in their relationship with the Lord. So, were 600 people lying? To claim that a few might have fudged their anonymous questionnaire I would accept, but 600? To what purpose?

So the numbers prove that the LJ revelation has had a positive influence on the Family. Sure it’s radical. I don’t understand it all myself. But who cares? Do I want to be closer to Jesus? Yes! If loving Jesus intimately will help me reach that goal, then so be it! And like I said earlier, if it turns out when I get to Heaven that I was deluded, I know the Lord will give me credit for trying anyway!

James says that “Maria and Peter have debased the wonderful gift of prophecy. They have twisted and manipulated prophecy to serve their own ends and control the Family, so that it is difficult to believe any of their prophecies … destroying its value by printing too much so that it becomes worthless.” He uses the analogy of a currency losing its value through overprinting. The problem with that analogy is that the reason a currency devalues when a government prints too much of it is they don’t have enough gold or other hard assets to back it up. And unlike gold or precious metals, Jesus never runs out; there’s an unlimited supply of Him. Therefore, it’s not possible to dilute the value of prophecy, no matter how much of it is used or published. To say that prophecy can be diluted is tantamount to saying that Jesus is limited in His capacity to speak, or that He’s not as all-powerful as we believe Him to be. That strikes at the very heart of Christian belief.

As far as manipulation through prophecy, when I first started out hearing from the Lord more, Mama was more involved. I wasn’t used to hearing from the Lord about everything, and I needed a lot of prodding and encouragement. I also needed to learn how to hear from the Lord-mostly about really clearing my mind of my own thoughts in order to get the Lord’s mind on the matter. Mama was a good teacher. But she didn’t dictate what I should be getting from the Lord. In time I became more used to hearing from the Lord about things without her having to remind me. Now, when a work question comes up that I’m responsible for, I go to the Lord and ask Him for His answer. Mama doesn’t even know about most of those prophecies because they are about minor issues regarding my day-to-day work and decisions. That’s a far cry from manipulation. There have been a couple of times when Mama and Peter have given me prophecies that talked pretty straightforwardly about my NWOs. They were difficult for me to receive. But the reason is not because they were untrue, but because I’m a proud guy and it’s sometimes hard to admit to myself the areas I need to change and grow in. Were they using prophecy to manipulate me or berate me into submission? No. They could have sat down and told me the same things in their own words, but instead someone had prayed and gotten it from the Lord. What difference does it make? It was true either way.

What about the accusations of the total control that Mama and Peter exercise over those in WS, and by extension, the Family? That they suffer no dissent or difference of opinion? Over the years that I’ve lived with Mama and Peter, I have had quite a few differences of opinion with them. I’ve discussed a lot of issues with them-little issues, big issues. I’ve always found Mama and Peter willing to listen. It’s one of the things that amazes me the most about them, their willingness to listen despite being very, very busy. They never blow me off.

Three or four days ago, Peter was getting ready to go on a trip and was very busy with last-minute prep. Despite that, he took about two hours to talk with me about some things. In the course of our conversation I asked him a couple of pretty heavy questions regarding past Family policies. Most people would have been very hesitant to ask those questions. It’s no credit to me that I did ask-it’s just that I know Peter (and Mama) well enough to know that his response would be prayerful and loving, not defensive or retaliatory, not cutting me down or accusing me of being “disloyal” or “unyielded.” He encouraged me to share my heart, answered my questions, we talked about it and discussed it. I made some suggestions that someone who was used to “being kept in line with a great deal of fear” (as per the “Gospel According to St. James”), and who was used to being “manipulated, controlled, bullied and belittled,” would not in a million years have dared to make! But Peter took it in stride and was very open to what I had to say, and we talked about it quite openly.

If there’s one thing that Peter and Mama have encouraged me in the most, it’s to share my heart with them about things that bother me, things that I have questions about or I don’t agree with. Just in that conversation Peter and I had a few days ago, he again asked me to please be open with them about anything that’s on my heart.

So, far from being closed off to what others have to say and trying to control them and their actions, Peter and Mama are extremely open to others. In fact, they are some of the least sensitive people I know in that regard. I think most people, myself included, would have a hard time with all the suggestions and constructive criticism that they get-not to mention the unconstructive criticism from those who dislike them. I don’t think I could take it like they do, much less encourage it. They are shining examples in that area.

That’s not to say that they always agree with what everyone says. Like I said, I’ve had differences of opinion with them, and we discuss things together and pray about them. I (or others, as the case may be) make my proposals of what I believe should be done, but the final decision is theirs. Sometimes they’ll go with it but sometimes they don’t. And that’s their prerogative as the top leaders with the ultimate responsibility for the effects of their decision.

It’s the same in any company or organization, and there’s nothing evil or sinister about it. A company CEO will consult with his VPs (vice-presidents) and advisors, but when it comes down to it, he has to make the final decision and bear the responsibility for it. And once the decision is made, the VPs’ responsibility is to make sure that decision is carried out to the best of their ability. If it’s a big decision that they feel is wrong, they can appeal it, and if the CEO stands firm in his decision, they can resign in protest if they choose. It’s the same with me. There have been times (though not often), where I didn’t agree with the final decision. But I know that I’m not always right, and just because I don’t agree with something doesn’t mean that it’s wrong. I’ve learned to trust the Lord in these cases.

A perfect example is the LJ revelation-I was worried that the Family wouldn’t handle it and it could even cause serious division in the ranks. Time showed the contrary to be true.

James writes, “I sometimes wonder how many Family members are sincerely proud of all the Family’s present-day beliefs and practices.” Well, I am for one! The Family has its faults, and there are things that I would like to see change, and that are changing. We’re learning as we go. Show me something better and I’ll go there. But so far no one has shown me anything better. So, yes, I’m proud of what we’ve done and what we’re doing today for Jesus. And to be honest with everyone reading this, no offense intended, but I don’t really care whether the other 12,999 members are proud of the Family or not.

I’m not proud of the Family because 12,999 other people are proud of the Family, I’m proud of it because I know for a fact that despite our many faults and mistakes, we are trying to serve the Lord the best we know how, to be a sample of His love, and fulfill His commandment to “go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature.” And, if you don’t mind, speaking to my peers in the Family, that’s why you should be in the Family too. If the accusations of some former member make you ashamed of being in the Family, then please go do something else with your life.

If as James-the new self-appointed spokesperson for Family SGAs-claims, “Many, especially SGAs, have consciously decided to ignore the doctrinal weirdness and simply use the Family infrastructure to carry out ‘Consider the Poor’ ministries,” then please go use someone else’s infrastructure instead. If all you need is infrastructure, there are a lot better ones than ours out there, with a lot more people and money to help you do what you want to do. (Of course, if James’ claim was true, then why don’t those SGAs who leave the Family and who say they feel this way join some other groups? I haven’t heard of any joining the Peace Corps, Red Cross or some similar outfit.) Sorry, I don’t mean to be harsh, but that’s honestly how I feel about it.

That’s not to say that I’m so super strong and have never thought of leaving the Family. Actually, I have battled with leaving the Family a number of times. But it wasn’t because I thought what the Family was doing was so wrong and that I was going to “escape” and do something better with my life. I might have used that as an excuse, but inside my heart I knew that the reason I was thinking of leaving was because I wanted to live for myself for a while, make some money, do something a little easier than “laying down my life for the brethren,” take a break and see what the System was really like.

I am convinced, however, that despite whatever problems, difficulties, sacrifices or oddities living in the Family may present, the Family is the place for me. And I can’t think of any two people more dedicated, prayerful, in love with the Lord, and concerned for each and every Family member than Mama and Peter. I gladly stand by and support them as the Lord’s appointed Family leadership, and I can testify to seeing this anointing manifested daily in their loving care for both you and me.

* * *

They Are My Friends

By James, Mama’s Home

I joined Dad and Mama’s Home in January 1992. Until that time, my main ministry in the Family had been witnessing, and I had spent most of my time on different mission fields. I had always considered myself a field person and loved to be on outreach. In November of ’91 I was invited to help out at a Summit Meeting doing staff work, and right after the meetings were over I was invited to WS. I thought that I would be going to another unit, but to my surprise I went directly to Dad’s Home! At that time it was unusual for someone to go directly to the Folks’ Home from the field, but there was a need at the time and I was available, so off I went.

Before this I had never seriously considered going to WS, and I didn’t really know what to expect. I guess I was expecting the Home to be very tight, full of rules and do’s and don’ts, but was relieved to find out that I was wrong! There were actually less rules and schedules than almost any Home I had ever been in! It was a small Home, only about 12 at the time, but we all pitched in and worked together well. There was a lot of unity, and we had a lot of fun.

I started working closely with Dad right after I got to the Home. We were staying on a farm at the time, and Dad was involved with a number of handyman and farm-related projects, so I began to work with him on a daily basis. Even after we left the farm, I continued working closely with Dad right up to the day he passed away.

It’s hard for me to explain what it was like being with Dad, and knowing and working with him closely. He was a father and a friend to me. He was young-spirited with lots of new ideas, but he was also the voice of wisdom and experience and a real sample of prayerfulness. At first I was quite nervous about meeting and working with him, but after the first day or two my fears quickly vanished. I felt very comfortable with him and enjoyed being with him. I’ve often thought about what it’s going to be like when we meet the Lord. I think we’re going to find Him so loving and warm and we’re going to be so comfortable with Him that we’re going to want to be around Him all the time! Well, that’s kind of the way it was with Dad. I loved working with him, going out with him, sitting in his classes, and just being with him.

When I think about my times with Dad, many different experiences and stories flood my mind. For example, just a few days after I joined the staff, Dad and the other handyman were working on a building project and they wanted to get an early start, and Dad invited me to join them if I felt up to it. So I showed up bright and early in the morning and ready to work. Dad was a bit surprised as he thought I was going to sleep in. (Both Dad and Mama have always been concerned that we get enough sleep and rest.) Dad told me that I didn’t need to get up so early, and then he said, “Son, contrary to what others may think, this is a voluntary army.” Meaning that he didn’t want me to feel pressured, or feel that I had to work if I was tired and needed to rest. There was a genuine concern and care for people, that no one was overworked or didn’t get enough rest.

At the same time we worked hard, but a lot was left up to our own initiative. When we were given a project to do, or if we were responsible for something in the Home, then we were expected to pray and come up with ideas and to do it. The Folks wanted people to think for themselves; they didn’t want to have to tell us how to do every little thing. They wanted us to see the need and respond, and they wanted it to come from the heart. And that’s the way the Home was run; everyone was expected to take initiative and do their part.

Dad also had a lot of faith, but he was understanding of others who didn’t have as much faith as he did. I remember how I needed to hammer a nail into a wooden frame that was adjacent to a large pane of glass. I was afraid that the glass would shatter or crack from the vibrations, so I was gently tapping in this nail and being ever so careful. Dad was there watching me do this, and after awhile said, “Son, let me do that.” And he took the hammer and boldly pounded the nail with just a few strokes and the glass was fine. Then he just laughed and said, “You see, you just need more faith!”

Another time I was painting the outside of the house and Dad was holding the ladder for me. I had to paint the top edge of the house, so I had my paint bucket on the top of the roof. Dad suggested I balance the bucket on the top rung of the ladder, as it would be closer to me that way. So I tried it, but I wasn’t so sure of doing it that way, as I was afraid that the bucket would fall. Dad right away noticed that and said, “Son, you’re the one that’s painting, so put the bucket wherever you feel comfortable with it; it’s according to your faith.” And that’s the way Dad was, he would sometimes give ideas and suggestions, but he expected us to operate according to our own faith.

During the last couple years of Dad’s life, his body had grown quite weak. He especially had a hard time walking long distances as he would become weary quickly. His mind was very much alert and he would still want to go places and do things, but his body just couldn’t keep up with his mind. So towards the end we would push Dad around in a wheelchair, and that way he could get out and about and not get tired. He never did lose that pioneering spirit!

Anyhow, Dad was always trying to improve things and find a better way, and he wasn’t afraid to try something new, even if it seemed a bit wild. So talking about wild ideas, he had the idea to replace his thin wheelchair tires with thick mountain bike tires, so he could have a smoother ride. It wasn’t easy to do this, as the spokes and the hub were all different, but after a few modifications, we succeeded. The only problem was that the mountain bike tires were a bit higher than the original ones, so the back end of the wheelchair was slightly raised, and the seat sloped downwards a bit. But we decided to go on a test ride to see how it would work.

It was working just fine until I hit a dip in the road, which caused us to come to an abrupt halt-and because of the slope of the seat, Dad went sliding right off the front and landed on the ground! I just stood there, dazed and shocked, as I felt Dad must’ve been hurt for sure. But he just calmly said, “Well, Son, are you going to just stand there, or are you going to help me up?” As it turned out, Dad wasn’t hurt at all, and actually thought it was quite funny. He used to joke with me about that afterwards and say things like, “Why did you throw me off the wheelchair that day?” That’s another thing I liked about Dad, he had a sense of humor.

But perhaps what I remember most and liked the best about Dad was his outgoing love and concern for others. We in the Home felt and experienced this love, but it wasn’t just with us, he was that way with others too. When we took him out in the wheelchair he would always be kind to people he’d meet and was a faithful witness as well. I remember in particular this one elderly lady who we kept running into. She was quite poor and Dad would always say hi to her and give her a small donation, and make her feel loved and special. She loved Dad and would just light up whenever she would see him. But there was a period of a couple of months when we didn’t see her.

Then one day we ran into her again at a small café. Dad was so happy to see her and right away asked me for some money. Then he got out of his wheelchair, which took a lot of effort for him, walked over to this lady, put the money in her hands and gave her a kiss on her cheek. I was watching the lady’s face, and immediately tears came to her eyes (and mine as well), as she was so touched that this man would be so sweet and loving to a little old nobody like her. But that’s the way Dad was. Everyone was important to him, and he seemed to be extra loving and sweet to those little nobodies who really needed love and encouragement.

Shortly after this, Dad passed away. This lady was so sad when she heard the news and asked us if she could have a picture of him to remember him by. She then prayed with us and received the Lord in her heart.

After Dad passed away, I remember wondering what would happen to our Home. I always felt that Dad was the radical one; he always loved change and doing new things. Mama was the more cautious one, and I thought that things were going to be boring without Dad around, ha! It’s funny when I think back about those things now, as Mama definitely inherited Dad’s mantle and there have been lots of changes!

Things have changed after Dad passed away, just like the Lord said they would in all those “New Day” prophecies. Our Home, and WS in general, has changed a lot since then. For one, we have a lot of young people in WS now, and they sure make our Homes fun and exciting. I can’t imagine what WS would be like without them! But our Home, and the other WS units, had to change and adapt when we started to take in young people. We couldn’t operate the way we had in the past, because if you know young people, they need change and variety and excitement in their lives. It’s not like we didn’t have fun before, but it was different with just FGAs in our Home. FGAs can sit for long hours at their desk and find fulfillment and challenge from their work, but SGAs need more than that. They do very well with their work, but they generally need more changes, activities, fellowship, etc., than the FGAs. So our WS Homes have changed a lot over the last five or six years.

Sometimes I hear things that some former WS members have said or written about their life in WS, and it really makes me wonder. Some of these people I know, but I also know that they haven’t lived with Dad or Mama and Peter since I’ve been on the staff, and that’s going on nine years now! To me it’s like someone saying, “Yes, I know about computers, I used to work with them ten years ago.” Well, a lot has changed since the days of 286’s! And if you haven’t continued working with computers, then you have no idea of the progress and incredible changes that have taken place, and how the computer world is very different now than it was back then! It’s like these guys are living in the past, and they don’t really have the scoop of what it’s like now.

That’s one thing that I love about Mama and Peter-they’re probably the newest bottles of us all! They’re always willing to try and do something new, which is evidenced by all the changes and new moves that have been happening in the spirit. But I must admit that some of these changes have been difficult for me as well. The “Loving Jesus” revelation and some of the New Wine was hard for me to swallow and receive at first. But I feel I have an advantage over a lot of people in the Family, because I know Mama and Peter well, and have lived and worked with them for years now. I know how much they love the Lord and how sincere they are, and how desperate they are to follow Him closely. I’ve seen how prayerful they are and how they don’t make a move without making sure it is the Lord’s will. So it’s easier for me to trust the Lord and accept these things, because I know the “source.” It’s easier for me to trust that the fruit will be good as I know the tree.

I‘ve often felt if people could know them like I do, it would help to alleviate or erase any doubts or questions they may have. I sometimes feel if I was still on the field and I heard some of those accusations about Mama and Peter and WS, I wonder how I would receive it. I’m no spiritual giant, and I could easily get hit with doubts or questions and begin to wonder if those things are true. It’s just the Lord’s mercy that He placed me where I am, and I’m very thankful for that. But I also feel it’s a responsibility, because very few people know the Folks in such a personal way like I do, so I feel I need to speak up to help set the record straight.

It’s as if you have a close friend, and this friend is being accused of all sorts of things, but you know that these things they’re being accused of aren’t true, as you’ve lived with that person and have known him for many years. Wouldn’t you feel that you needed to speak up on their behalf? Well, if you didn’t, I wouldn’t consider you much of a friend.

Well, Mama and Peter are my friends, and I know them well. Not only have I lived with them for years, but I’ve also worked closely with them. I feel I can talk to them about anything. I often share my thoughts and ideas with them, and I come up with some pretty wild and far- out ones, but I don’t hesitate to share them even if they are kind of wild, as I know they’re very open to ideas and suggestions and they believe in counseling. And I appreciate their counsel very much. I know that they will prayerfully consider and discuss and pray about issues, and I’ve learned over the years that they’re usually right.

I’ve gone on different trips with both of them. I was able to travel with Peter on his visitation trips to both the Far East and to South America. For the past year-and-a-half I’ve helped to shepherd their Home, so I’ve been in many meetings with them and in close communication with them. I know how they work and I know how they are. I know how they treat people. And this is what I like the best about them-the patience and love and faith that they have in people. They’re very concerned about each and every one of us. They live their whole lives for us. Nearly every waking hour Mama is either listening to tapes, or going over the pubs, or praying and discussing with different ones, doing all she can for us. Peter is also constantly pouring out and holding meetings and doing all he can, to the point that he often becomes weakened and worn out physically.

I’ve been in meetings where they’ve talked about personnel, and I’ve been amazed at how much patience and love and faith they have in people. Sometimes I tend to feel frustrated about people or situations, but the Folks seem to have an unlimited amount of love and patience. But their love and concern pays off, and it’s manifested in the lives of those who know them well. A number of people have joined the staff and a number of others have visited over the years, and I think they can all testify that their lives have been touched in a special way. I look back to how some of the young people were when they first joined our staff, and how they’ve grown and matured and have become so deep in the Lord, and it’s a beautiful thing. They’re happy and fulfilled and doing a great work.

Sure, Mama encourages us all to pray and hear from the Lord and use the new weapons, but again that’s part of her love for us. She knows that if people do that, then they will be closer to the Lord and will be happier too. And I can also testify of that from a shepherding viewpoint. When people do get on board, they’re more inspired and have more joy of the Lord. They still have battles, of course-everyone does-but they hear from the Lord and He speaks to them wonderfully and gives them words of comfort and guidance and encouragement, and shows them the path to victory. And as a shepherd, that makes my job a lot easier, ha!

On the trips I’ve gone on, I’ve seen individuals or Homes or even areas who weren’t so on board, and I’ve seen that these same ones were uninspired, and struggling both materially and spiritually. Whereas I’ve been to places where people have really tried to live the Letters and I’ve seen His blessings on their lives and Homes. So of course the Folks encourage us all to get on board and do our best for the Lord, as they love us and they know that this is for our own good and benefit.

When I first prayed about writing this, the Lord reminded me of the story of the blind man in the Bible who was healed when Jesus put clay on his eyes and asked him to wash in the pool of Siloam (John Chapter 9). The Pharisees who were there saw the miracle, but they still accused Jesus of being a “sinner,” and they tried to persuade the people that He was not even of God. But to the man it was obvious by the good that had happened in his life that Jesus was a prophet. I have seen miracles of good fruit happen in my life and in the lives of many others, so it’s quite obvious to me that Mama and Peter are of the Lord. And I hope the experiences that I have shared with you will help to give you a little clearer picture of what it’s like living with them.

* * *

Our Queen and King of Humility

By Dora, Family Care

I’m reminded of a project we recently worked on for our children: “Mama’s Childhood Memories.” We had asked Mama to recollect memories of the time she grew up, so that our Family children would have the opportunity to get to know how she was as a child growing up, and thus relate to her on that level.

Mama dictated quite a few stories, and just days ago we sent the project to Thailand so that it could be printed there for our children: a beautiful volume of Mama’s childhood memories, decorated with beautiful art matching the time period Mama describes. I think it will be a treasure for our kids.

In the last story, titled “A Cemetery Story,” Mama tells how when she was about 11 or 12, she liked to go to an old cemetery, a favorite spot where she would take some books with her and read. She tells how she enjoyed being alone with Jesus in her “magic garden,” as she called it.

Mama says: “One time when I was in the cemetery reading and thinking about things, Jesus told me that I was someone special to Him because I liked to be alone with Him. I had no idea that I was going to become Mama and lead the Family! Isn’t it amazing how God can even use little people, little children, and help them to be someone special for Him? You’re special to Jesus, too, and He loves to talk to you, too. So keep listening to Him, and keep reading His Word so you won’t miss anything that He has to say.”

I think our kids will really enjoy that book of her childhood memories, and of course it’s meant for them. I enjoyed it too, and the above paragraph is my favorite part, I think. For two reasons, one because I like how Mama takes the focus off of herself and instead reaches out to help others, even with the things she’s experiencing. I like how she tells these stories in this volume and yet she thinks of the kids who are reading them. She doesn’t tell the stories to glorify herself or draw attention to herself; she wants it to be of help to others. The other reason why I really like what Mama says in that paragraph is because it reminds me of when I was younger and having that “feeling” of doing something special when growing up.

At age 26 I joined the Family, and two years later, in August 1978, I met the Folks and began living with them for the next nine years. Mama and Dad shared their daughter with me and let me experience loving a child as if it were my own. But this is not really a story about myself; I just wanted to give the background picture.

Back to the cemetery story: Mama looks at herself as a little one, but her love for Jesus is what makes her great. The first time I saw her she was walking next to Dad, coming towards me across the big back yard at the Swiss house in 1978. I thought she was so young, so bouncy and bubbly, and not really as shy as I imagined her to be. Knowing of her shy side, Mama makes herself be outgoing, which is quite humbling for her. Dad and Mama greeted me and just took me into their personal family circle, and I lived close to them till 1987.

I got to know Mama as a mother, wife, shepherdess, work overseer, manageress, and as a friend. I treasure and respect her as our queen and I hold her dear for the sample she has been to us of someone who’s given her life to the One she is in love with, to let Him be the One leading and directing the Family. I would describe her as very focused. I liked that about her. At the time I lived with the Folks, Mama oversaw much of the publication side of things. Dad had trained her in that area. Mama is a hard worker and a good manageress. I’ve often admired her for how diligent she is with details.—I’ve sometimes even felt impatient, thinking she was too into getting it “just right!” If she wouldn’t have answered the Lord’s call in her life, I could imagine her as a directress of a great successful company, very much interested in making sure her employees fulfilled their obligations. And so, as head of the Family and as head of WS, dear Mama likes to see her “employees” (if you will) fulfill their obligations: our Family’s obligation to be missionaries to the needy world, and WS’s members to fulfill their obligation to serve our Family missionaries! We can see from the recent GNs and moves of the Spirit that Mama and Peter, as present-day heads of this Family, are very much interested in helping us be what the Lord wants us to be: to service this dying world, to break the box and let the gold of His treasures flood the world, to seek out the lost and feed them with His Word.

My personal goal is to continue to follow where the Lord is leading dear Mama and Peter. I know He’s using them, and I know He speaks to them, because I know they’re very desperate with Him. They are small in their own sight, but they know they have an amazing God by their side Who shows them the way.

As for Peter: I always liked him as a person and a man, and I really like him being our king! I know what it costs him to fulfill the responsibilities the Lord is asking of him! Thank you, Peter, for your yieldedness to Jesus which is rooted in your love for Him, to be by Mama’s side and spearheading this work. It must not always be easy and I am sure you have your share of trials, but I thank you for giving them to the Lord and seeking Him for the solutions.

I’ve lived with Peter for many years in the Folks’ house and have experienced some of his ups and downs. It was always extremely easy to talk to him and discuss things with him. I would often think of him as my “big brother,” because I felt whatever I was going through—lessons the Lord was trying to teach me or mistakes I had made and needed help with—he had been there, he’d understand and be able to help me. Peter wasn’t lofty or up on a pedestal; he was “one of us” on the staff doing his job and being a help to Dad and Mama.

There’s a beautiful picture in a HTK Jeremy drew of Peter sitting with Jesus enjoying a glass of wine—I think it’s in “Peter, the Water-bearer!” Peter looks so good, hearty, kind of rugged, and very human! That’s what he is, a man touched with the feelings of our infirmities, and that’s why I’m happy he’s our king, and a mate, counselor and helper at Mama’s side!

I love you, Mama and Peter! Thank you for following Jesus in your personal lives and giving your lives daily to hear from Him and help show the way!

* * *

A Letter to Our Wonderful Family

By Joan (Endureth), CRO, ASCRO

I have been in the Family for about 27 years. Sometimes it even surprises me how long it’s been! I am now basing out of the Middle East and am helping to minister to the many precious people here. As many of you may be aware, different things have been circulating from former members of late—letters that have not been the most inspiring to read. What burdened me the most was feeling that our shepherds were being put in such a bad light and made to look like unfeeling, uncaring, and downright bad shepherds. From knowing Mama and Peter personally, having visited their Home on several occasions, and having spent hours and hours with Peter over the last 10 or 12 years, I felt burdened to at least share with you my personal perspective of Mama and Peter, and those who work closely with them.

First of all, before I ever met Mama, I grew quite close to Peter, who has always been a help and blessing to me. I wondered whether I could meet a sweeter, more kind-hearted person than him. He seemed to have such a tender heart, even though he is a big strong man. He is highly talented and gifted by the Lord, yet the thing that touched me the most about him was his simplicity and his willingness to be weak and to let the Lord’s light shine through. He would admit that he was weak and in need of the Lord, always giving the Lord the glory.

One of the main things that made me feel so close to Peter was his love for other people, his willingness to lay down his life, to go to the nth degree even when he was tired or weary, to be an encouragement to others. He seemed to know when I needed a little word of love and encouragement, a pat or a hug to lift my spirit. I would see him being exactly the same to everyone else that was around, male or female, always willing to lay down his life.

As I said, Peter has a tender heart. I have seen him cry time after time when singing songs to the Lord. I have seen him touched to the point of tears when talking about the sheep or Family members who were going through trials or battles. These things touched me deeply, as I know that those feelings or emotions are not something that can be worked up in the flesh nor put on. These shows of emotion weren’t in public, but just in times of talking together about certain people, situations or sheep, so I know with all of my heart that Peter is an unusually loving and caring shepherd. I don’t think it’s because he’s any better than anyone else, but just that he was called by the Lord and he said “yes.” Because of this, the Lord has been able to make him into a special instrument, a tender, loving, and sweet vessel of the Lord’s love.

I feel very honored to have visited Mama’s Home on several occasions, spending about a month there each time. All I can say is that each visit changed my life for the better. I think the times I went were usually times when I was going through particularly big battles and needed a fair bit of help and encouragement (though I was never told this, ha!). Mama and Peter took me into their Home and showed me personal care, gave me a lot of love and attention, showered me with His Words, and helped me through my battles. I always went home strengthened and, I believe, closer to the Lord and with more faith that He could again use me, more connected to Jesus and with a greater desire to serve our wonderful Family.

When it comes to Mama, it becomes a little harder for me to explain the qualities that I have seen in her. In some ways she is rather special and unique, and that’s why she’s been called by the Lord to be a special instrument in His hand.

Mama’s love for the Lord is so obvious. When celebrating her last birthday in our Home, I was sharing a few tidbits from having been around her. One is the way that she constantly acknowledges the Lord, how she brings the Lord into every conversation, how she thanks Him and praises Him for everything, how she asks for His help in whatever matter we may be discussing, and how she prays and asks Him to help people that we may be talking about. She doesn’t want to do anything without the Lord and His presence and Spirit. It’s a wonderful sample. I always envisioned our shepherds to be like that, and they are!

Another thing that has touched me about Mama is that she talks about her weaknesses; she shares the areas that she feels she needs to grow in. She has shared with us about her need to be more loving, giving, and sacrificial. But honestly, her loving and giving puts me to shame each time I’m around her. She’s so sacrificial. Every time I was around her, she seemed to sense my needs, even my desires, and wanted to meet them in any way that she could.

I find it amazing that with all that she had to do—the multitude of work, all the Family mail coming in, the GNs to work on—she still had such a personal loving concern for me. After being around Mama I wanted to do more for the Lord. I wanted to please the Lord more. I wanted to make Him happy. I wanted to serve Him and love the sheep, and I especially wanted to love Family members more.

Mama speaks highly about each Family member. No matter who they are or where they are, she really does look at them like they’re tops, because they are. She says she could probably never do the job that they do, have the faith that they have, or accomplish what they accomplish, and she means it with all of her heart. It has always helped me as a shepherd in the Family to see Family members through her eyes in that way.

Mama and Peter are constantly trying to help us, your shepherds in the Family, to do a better job of loving you, caring for you, and serving you. They constantly remind us that we are supposed to be servants of the flock, that we’re supposed to be there to serve you, to take care of you, to love you and to sacrifice for you, and not to be as hirelings or as some of the bad shepherds that we’ve had in the past.

I’ve heard quite a few of the comments that have been floating around—negative things that the Enemy has inspired concerning Mama and Peter—and you have most likely heard them as well. One is how Mama and Peter are trying to manipulate people and get everybody to do what they want them to do through prophecy. Well, my experience is somewhat the opposite, as although they do pass on the Lord’s Words, whenever they gave counsel, and even when they have heard from the Lord—I’d say almost all the time, they would still ask me to pray about it. They would encourage me to take into consideration the things they were passing on and use them if they applied, but if the Lord led or showed me differently, then they’d encourage me to follow how the Lord was leading me personally.

I have to say, though, that the counsel they gave was very helpful and almost always applied. Still, I always felt the freedom to be led of the Lord on the spot, and knew that if the Lord led in a slightly different direction or slightly modified the counsel that they passed on, I had the freedom to follow that. I didn’t feel that I was failing the Lord or going against their desires or wishes. In fact, I felt that they were happy that I prayed about the matter on the spot and received direction from the Lord, since that’s what Mama has been trying to teach and train us all to do—to hear from the Lord ourselves personally and be led by Him.

Some former members have stated that our more radical doctrines aren’t really of the Lord and that they’ve gotten us into a lot of trouble and are being forced upon us. One example they give is the Loving Jesus revelation.

God bless Mama and Peter!—I don’t know if it was any easier for them to receive that revelation from the Lord than it was for us. They counseled with us CROs about it and asked us for our thoughts, feelings, and reactions on the material before sending it out to the Family. It was difficult and it seemed pretty wild and unusual.

Of course there were the fears that we could get into pretty big trouble for this, being that it was a pretty radical doctrine. I’m sure a lot of CROs and other people expressed these feelings and opinions, yet the Lord encouraged them to go ahead in giving this revelation to the Family. Although it took a while for us to absorb it and begin putting it into practice, I personally would like to testify that I am so very thankful for Mama and Peter’s conviction and their desire to follow and obey the Lord’s words.

There are times when the Lord specifically shows them something that they should do as shepherds of the Family and they do it, no matter what we the people say. For we the people aren’t always right, and sometimes we lack in faith and trust.

It’s true that we’re out on the field and we know and experience certain things from being out here, but just the same, in the spirit they are on the mountain, and because they are not so influenced by their surroundings or what people say, they are able to hear quite clearly from the Lord on matters. In the case of the Loving Jesus revelation, although it was pretty meaty, I can testify that it has completely changed my life. Sometimes I wonder if I would have made it this far without it!

So I’m thankful that Mama and Peter have obeyed the Lord even when we might have thought it was a little bit too radical, or a bit too much, or that maybe they were going off the deep end, so to speak. If you want to look at it like that, Dad didn’t hold back in giving the radical revelations either, but I’m thankful that we received each revelation that Dad gave. I believe that the Family is what it is today—a wonderful missionary group around the world in many countries, reaching many people—because we followed what the Lord gave Dad, and now Mama and Peter.

Thank the Lord we didn’t solely follow our own faith, as for me personally, I wouldn’t be what I am today or be able to accomplish much for the Lord if it wasn’t for the Word that is being poured out, even the more radical Word. It spurs me to action. It makes me want to serve the Lord more. It makes me want to be more dedicated, more sacrificial. It makes me want to give more and not live so selfishly. It makes me want to witness more and get out there and do the job.

I don’t believe we’ve been led astray, not even a little bit. I believe we’re on the straight and narrow for the Lord and we’re heading into this Endtime period determined to be witnesses for the Lord to the very End, determined to help people to know Jesus personally so that they don’t have to live lonely lives without the Lord. Some people have left the Family and dislike the Family. Well, that’s their choice, but my choice is to continue serving Jesus in the Family, to continue witnessing, to continue living a life of sacrifice in taking up my cross and following Jesus every day. I pray I won’t be satisfied until the world has been reached for the Lord, and I’m thankful that we have such a dedicated, free, exciting, and wonderful Family which surrounds us and helps us to do the job, and such precious shepherds.

Every time I get hit with battles, read distorted stories that former members have told, or read something that puts the Family or our shepherds down, I get the verse, “By their fruits ye shall know them.” I look around and I see our wonderful Family. Of course we’re not perfect, but I see people going out witnessing every day, souls being won, lives being touched, and I know that it’s because of the Word that we read and the shepherds the Lord has given us.

I pray that no matter what battles and trials the Enemy brings along our way, no matter what attacks of the Enemy we have to fight, no matter what anybody else says, each and every one of us will continue serving the Lord to the best of our ability. I feel privileged to be fighting side by side and hand in hand with all of you in this Endtime battle.

* * *

For the Record

By Pearl, Mama’s Home

Recently there have been things said about Mama and Peter that have been untrue. Because these things were written by someone who has lived with Dad and Mama and Peter (though not recently), and because the accusations were well written and seemingly “factual,” they have hurt some people’s faith, and caused others to doubt or become confused.

Presently I am one of Mama’s personal secretaries. I have lived with Dad, Mama, and Peter a long time, going on 20 years now. I’ve not just lived nearby or visited occasionally or met them in a passing encounter, but have lived almost all of those 20 years in their Home, sometimes in the bedroom next to them—interacting with them daily, talking with them almost every day on the intercom, transcribing many of their meetings, discussions, their daily prayer times, and times of hearing from the Lord. There was a short space during this 20-year period when I didn’t actually live in the same house with them, but was a five- or ten-minute drive away, but I was still in communication with the Folks and transcribed their personal tapes and letters.

I have traveled with them, lived with them, cleaned their room, and can say I’ve known Dad, Mama and Peter very personally and intimately for the last two decades. I can confirm that they are everything the Letters say they are. They are the most loving and concerned shepherds the Family could have—unselfish, sacrificial, honest, humble, yielded, upfront, hardworking, anointed leadership who love Jesus with all their hearts. Their only reason for living is to bring His love and message to you and the world.

There is no doubt in my mind about this because I’ve seen them in action, not just for a visit, but consistently and constantly. They seek the Lord and His highest will for the Family daily, and are consistently loving, prayerful, living the Word, sacrificing, working on the Word, and doing everything in their power and strength to promote and give the Lord’s love. They eat, live, and breathe to serve the Lord and the Family. I know that sounds vague and general, but let me give you a few examples.

Some have said that Mama and Peter don’t listen to people or that they’re close-minded and determined to have their own way no matter what.

Sometimes I make Mama personal tapes, and many times I’ll have ideas or suggestions. Some of the ideas are pretty wild and I’ll say, “Mama, this is from the wild ideas department. I don’t know if it’s from the Lord or not, and I may be really off.”

Mama has told me many times when I’ve said that, “Don’t ever hesitate to share your ideas. I like to listen to them all. Of course, they may not all hit the mark, but we need to get everyone’s input so we don’t miss anything. One of your ideas could be very important.” I can personally testify that Mama is very open to ideas and suggestions and takes them seriously. She prayerfully considers them and implements many of them, including the ones you send in to her in your letters. And that’s what the Summit meetings are largely about—discussing how to implement the many ideas people bring up.

Recently I had more to do than I could handle, and prayed about my workload—what work I could do and couldn’t do. I basically presented to Mama what I could handle and what would have to be delegated to someone else. Basically I was saying, “I can do this, but not that. I’ll be able to do this and not that,” and she was fine with it. Of course, I asked the Lord and got a confirmation from Him. But Mama is definitely not a “control freak,” otherwise she’d be ordering me around and not considering my feelings.

Mama really does let people work according to their faith and abilities. She isn’t standing there breathing down your neck. Whenever I begin to feel pressured or overloaded, I just say so. I’m not afraid to speak up, because I know she wants me to, and I know she’s not going to think I’m a dummy, incapable, or that she needs to get someone faster or replace me; I’m not afraid I’m going to lose my job if I can’t keep up or someone better comes along. Mama and Peter don’t work like that.—If they did, I wouldn’t be here, that’s for sure! They are extremely patient and forgiving.

Here’s a typical note from Peter, “Hi Honey, I love you! Would you mind putting this on tape for Mama? Thanks. You’re really looking nice! Love, Peter.” Isn’t that sweet? Having your boss call you “honey,” and “would you mind”—wow!

In our work, Mama and Peter trust that we’re hearing from the Lord. They trust our judgment and what we have the faith for. Mama has asked me to receive prophecies sometimes when I haven’t felt up to it, and I just say so, and I know she’s not going to think that I’m “not on board.” She doesn’t order or pressure. Sometimes if she knows she’s going to have timely work for me later on in the day, she’ll call and let me know ahead of time.

Both Mama and Peter are very considerate. In other words, they’re not dictators or overbearing generals. There has been many a time when Mama was going to ask someone to do something, and if they had a headache or weren’t feeling well she’d ask them first how they felt, if they felt up to doing it later or if she should ask someone else. I could write a book on Mama and Peter’s love and the thoughtful things they do every day.

As you know, recently Peter had a heart attack and was very weak, but despite that, they decided to go ahead with some meetings with a few of the CROs about how to better the Family, asking for ideas and how to implement them, how to spread out the responsibility more. That’s another story in itself—how they listen to others and ask others to help in making the decisions. It’s definitely not Mama and Peter running the whole show, taking credit to themselves, or manipulating things.

Anyway, Peter had just had a heart attack some days earlier and a leadership meeting was about to begin the next day. We had CROs visiting and there was a lot of work. Peter has an extremely heavy workload and carries many responsibilities, and there were the meetings to pray about, topics to cover, the keynote, how to go about the meetings, and many important things and details to attend to. But that morning Peter and Mama in their personal prayer time asked the Lord for an encouragement message for me. They didn’t have to; they had many other things they could’ve asked the Lord about.

They are always willing to help someone, are open to their needs, opinions, ideas, and most of all they’re open to the Lord and the leading of His Spirit. So you know if they would stop to hear from the Lord for me despite Peter just having had a heart attack, and preparing for very important meetings that would affect the future of the Family, I know they would pray for you too, if you needed the help and the encouragement.—And they do! That’s how much they love each and every person in the Family.

Also about being open with others, Mama has at various times asked me to pray about her NWOs. In fact, I don’t know anybody as open, honest, and humble about their personal NWOs as Mama is. On a regular basis she asks not only me but others to check in with the Lord as to how she’s doing.

Specific things that she has asked me to pray for regarding her personal life have been (taken from her personal dictation), “Am I being affectionate enough or should I be more affectionate, and how?” “How can I improve in my marriage?” “Sometimes I take too long or can’t make up my mind, or when I talk I tend to get into too many details. Ask the Lord if that’s ok and how I can do better.” “I have no sense of direction. I’m uncoordinated. Can’t follow exercise. I feel a little handicapped and have to have things very simple. Could you ask the Lord about that?” When Mama was battling jealousy she was very open and honest about her tests and trials. She would frequently ask for prayer and ask the Lord specifically how she could be less jealous and more loving and how she could get the victory.—You’ve read her story in the GNs.

This definitely isn’t the person I’ve heard about in some of the things that talk about Mama and Peter covering up. The truth is this: There are no secrets, no hidden agendas, no cover-ups. In fact, even in the tiniest things, which are really insignificant, she’s honest and open. For example, occasionally she may think she has given me a tape, but she forgot it in her dictaphone. She’ll call on the intercom and ask about the file, and when I say I haven’t received it she’ll say, “Oh dear, maybe I forgot to give it to you. Ooops, I did! Sorry about that!” She’s so sweet about it and she doesn’t try to cover it up and say, “Well, somebody called and distracted me.” You know how we kind of “wiggle” out of things sometimes? She probably was distracted, as there are always problems, emergencies, timely messages to go over and important business, various interruptions, etc., but even with the tiny “human” boo-boos she’s open and honest.

Not long ago when Mama and Peter were traveling, she got up to leave and forgot her purse for a moment, and also forgot to lock the suitcases. She shared her lesson and asked someone to pray about why she forgot those things. I’ve never known Mama to try to cover up, but to the contrary, she will share her mistake or lesson and ask for prayer. And when she asks you to pray and ask the Lord about her personal life, in her explanation she’ll say, “Now ask the Lord to clear your mind of any opinions and to give you a clear channel and not be influenced by your own thoughts, even if it comes out to be a correction. I want the Lord to correct me if I need it. I need to know the truth and I want to be open to anything He has to say.”

On another subject, if anyone thinks the Family has changed in its original fire to witness, or in its original goal to reach the world with the Gospel or get out the message, it sure hasn’t changed as far as your top leadership—which is Mama. If you go out with her, you had better be prepared to have plenty of tracts, and know how many you have and what kind and in what languages, and that they’re folded nicely as a good sample—and how many you’ve passed out!

I have a file of the names and addresses of sheep that Mama has personally witnessed to and who have received the Lord. Right now in my “approval” subdirectory is a letter and prophecy that needs to go off to a dear man that Mama and Peter witnessed to, prayed for and Peter received a personal prophecy for. Even if they’re traveling, tired, busy—it doesn’t matter—if they meet a needy sheep they’ll do whatever the Lord leads them to do to witness, encourage or help them.

Peter and Mama, no matter how busy they are, do not start their day without asking the Lord for His agenda and what He wants them to do. They also ask for the Lord’s blessing and approval on their work and any and all activities. You can be sure, dear Family, that there is nothing that comes out in the Letters that Mama and Peter ask the Family to do that they don’t do themselves, or have received the Lord’s confirmation on and have asked others to pray and receive confirmations on as well.

Some time ago when Trevor and Olivia were living in a unit nearby, the Folks were in the midst of a lot of work—they had pubs to finish, some emergencies had come up that they were having to attend to, and they were about to go on a trip as well—but they wanted to see the children, who were living at a nearby unit, before their trip, so they asked the Lord about it.

Mama prayed: “Lord, we really need You and we need Your strength, we need Your help. We need to be a good representation of You to Trevor and Olivia when they come over, even if we’re only with them for 10 or 15 minutes. So please, Jesus, do help us and show us what we should do and how we can be what You want us to be.”

Isn’t that precious? Even though Mama and Peter were extremely busy and about to make a business trip, they took time with the children and took time to pray that their sample would be the right sample—to 4-year-old children. That’s an example of how much they pray and ask the Lord about the littlest things.

When someone is going through a rough time or needs some correction, it’s very difficult on the Folks as well. Their heart goes out to people and they pray for people having a rough time and ask the Lord to encourage their hearts. They also ask us, their staff, to pray for the person. If someone goes through a rough patch, the Folks do not say icky things about them. I could give lots of examples about this one, but because they involve personal details of others, they’re a private matter.

Mama and Peter don’t go into their room and talk behind people’s backs and badmouth them. They’re just not like that. And they don’t take advantage of people.

Unless you have lived with the Folks and have been privy to their daily prayers and conversations, it’s hard to grasp how much goes into each and every thing they do—how much prayer they put into things, how much love and concern, how much they try to be everything the Lord wants them to be, how they try with all their heart to please the Lord, to please the Family, to witness, to get the Word out, to feed the Family.

I could fill a book with Mama’s private prayers—her prayers for people who write her from the field, her prayers for people in our house, for people going through battles, her personal prayers for victories and help in her personal life.—And, by the way, if someone is having a tough time with something that comes out in the New Wine, she doesn’t belittle them or look down on them or think they’re weak, or decide that they’re an “old bottle.” The first thing she does is pray for them. Then she asks someone to pray about how we can make things easier, clearer or better explained.

Here’s an example of a prayer request Mama asked me to pray about, which she asks from time to time—for her and Peter’s strength because they’re pouring out and giving so much for the Family. She said, “Please ask the Lord why Peter is so tired. He’s really, really tired. I keep telling him it’s just that everything has caught up with him, especially that meeting. It was such a terrible strain. He says, ‘I don’t like being tired.’ At dinner he’s almost ready to go to bed for the night. Anyhow, I’m sure the Lord’s going to strengthen him, but there’s an awful lot to do and he’s very tired. Thanks for your prayers.”

Another time Mama asked for prayer for herself: “When I went to visit some of our loved ones, it was good and I was glad I went, but I was so tired. I mean, I don’t know when I’ve been so tired. When I got back I could just hardly stay awake even during dinner. I wonder if that was just to show me how weak I really am. Of course I got cold and I was fighting a cold, but still I wondered if the Lord was trying to show me how weak I am, and either nudge me to do more as far as exercise and eating better to get strengthened, or just show me what a miracle it is when I don’t feel like that. Maybe you can ask Him about that.”

So, dear Family, please do keep both Peter and Mama in your prayers. They really do give it all they’ve got every day and they don’t take vacations. I’ve accompanied them on a couple of “work-cations” when they have to take a break from the constant press, but these are for short time periods and they usually work in the mornings all the way through the afternoons, and then around dinner time knock off, go for a walk, eat, and many times, if the Lord brings a sheep, they witness to them, and of course they pass out tracts.

I’ve practically grown up with Mama and Peter and I can personally assure you that you couldn’t have shepherds that are any more dedicated and loving and honest and sacrificial than Mama and Peter.—And that’s exactly the reason the Lord has made them our shepherds, because they are the most loving and best there is. If they weren’t, He wouldn’t allow them to be our shepherds, I’m sure. Do you think the Lord would give you less than the best, or put hirelings as your shepherds? No way! And I know if you were to meet them personally and live with them you would have a book that you could write too about their love for the Lord and this wonderful Family and for you personally!!

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They Took Me Into Their Home

By Ezra, Japan

I love Mama and Peter dearly. I not only consider them to be my king and queen; they are also my friends. They helped me at a time when I was really going through it, when I had made a lot of mistakes in a leadership position. Despite that, they took me into their Home to help while they were here in Japan, and that was certainly “Days of Heaven” to be living with Dad, Mama, Peter and their sweet household. I lived with them for a couple of months, which were some of the most rewarding and memorable of my life.

I haven’t read the letter that James wrote, and I don’t plan to. There is just something that is not right about someone trying to “get even.” I don’t know James, but I do know Mama and Peter, and I had the wonderful experience of getting to know dear Dad as well. I treasure that time, and I’ll try and paint a picture of the Mama and Peter that I know.

Mama ... well, from the moment we met at the airport she tried to make me feel at ease. She was always concerned about my health and how I was doing. I always felt sincerity from her. We lived in a very small house, and I was so impressed with how little they would get by with—no luxuries, just simple accommodations. I would see dear Dad every day for a few moments or together on walks, but it was Mama that I spent hours with—on the intercom! I was set up comfortably in a little room downstairs, and Mama was faithfully next to Dad upstairs, while carrying on lengthy conversations with me over the house intercom.

Mama was searching desperately to try to help the work in Japan. She wanted to glean every drop of information that she could get from me and others who had been on the field here, for the sole purpose of trying to find ways to get the Japan Family back on its feet and bearing fruit. I clearly remember that I could freely express myself and my opinions, and Mama really encouraged me in this. It was no holds barred, because she was after information. Mama was gathering info from other sources at the time as well. She would ask me questions on these other points, then listen, then give her opinion, and then ask me what I thought. It was very definitely a constant, ongoing, two-way conversation. I never felt stifled in my opinions. I never felt that I had to be careful about how I said things. I in no way felt intimidated to follow some “party line”; in fact, Mama wanted to cover any and all ground, which to me seemed so radical and free! The fruit of that time was some very helpful advice and guidance for the Japan Family, and it was a privilege to be part of that.

It was always very clear to me that Mama was concerned about the “littlest” person in the Family, and that love and concern was clearly manifested to me. At one point I was faced with some very serious battles about my visa and whether I would stay in Japan or not. I was secretly worried that my situation might cause some serious problems, but I wasn’t confessing my fears about it all. It was then that I got a sweet note from Mama asking me 10 different questions about why I would be putting in a request to leave Japan. Each one of the ten questions was valid, and could have been a possibility, but I was touched that she knew so much about me—enough to ask me all those very pointed questions about what might really be on my heart. Actually, it was the unasked 11th question that I confessed and got the victory over that kept me here serving the Lord in Japan, and I cannot thank the Lord enough for that.

I owe my service here over the last 10 years to Mama’s loving persistence, but that’s our Mama! That’s what makes her so special—she’s always striving for the best and highest, and she has great expectations for us all, and at the same time, great understanding and sympathy for us.

One time I made a serious mistake with our Home’s central heater. I was leaning to my own understanding and had gone against Dad’s careful and prayerful counsel on how to set the thermostat. The result was that the house got extremely cold in the middle of the night, and Dad woke up freezing cold and could have caught pneumonia. Dad came down and saw that I had moved the setting too low, and soon after that, he was on the intercom giving me a much needed rebuke. Boy, did I deserve it! Mama came over to me in the middle of it all, and put a blanket around me and said, “Join the club!”—meaning the club of those that had learned a good lesson directly from dear Dad. She looked like an angel, so very tender and understanding and not condemning at all.

A few weeks later at the New Year’s celebration that we had, Dad was going around the room, making sweet comments about each one in the Home. When he came to me, Mama pointed out that I had learned such a good lesson recently after Dad’s good bawling out that I needed. Referring to my mistake, Dad quickly replied, “Ezra could never have done that.” In other words, Dad was publicly forgiving me by just letting it pass. That’s the way it was living with them. Even with our mistakes they were so generous with understanding, sympathy, and forgiveness.

Mama was super concerned about my back, as I had a back problem at that time. She was insistent that I shouldn’t overdo or strain myself, no matter how insistent I was that it was “all right!” I can’t help but feel a warm and loving memory come over me of the wonderful time I had living and working with her. I’ll treasure those memories forever.

Now, Peter, here’s a great guy. He always had a magical way of making you feel very comfortable and at ease, but at the same time, you knew just where the line was between when it was time to play and time to work. I got to know Peter through meetings and times of serious discussions regarding problems in the Family. It was a very difficult time, and sometimes the conversation had to be about people and situations, but I was always clearly impressed that Peter wanted to hear all sides. He didn’t go for putting fingers on the scale, and he wanted to give everyone a fair shake! Look at me! It was a real gamble for them to have me come to live with them, as I had been generally only on the field, and had been recently in an office situation that had turned out to be a real problem. But they obviously had the faith for me, and it pulled me through some rough times in my life. The Lord’s love really shines through Peter. You can see that he really loves Jesus, and he really loves the Family.

I feel so very sorry for James. I have been serving the Lord for 27 years now—25 of those years in Japan—and I’ve been through thick and thin. In all those years I’ve had the blessing of seeing things through rosy glasses, and I believe that it’s a pure gift from the Lord. I’ve had to battle with bitterness and negative thinking very little in all of those years, and I really thank the Lord for that. The few times I’ve entertained bitterness it has just about destroyed me, as it only brought me deep sadness and loneliness. Bitterness separates, isolates, destroys the one who entertains it, and does nothing but terribly hurt the ones around it. I feel so very sorry for those who have not been able to look at life through those famous Romans 8:28 glasses. I do all the time. I couldn’t make it otherwise.

Hail to our Queen Maria and King Peter! I love them both, and I hope that this little personal testimony will help someone else, especially if you’ve had to wade through James’ letter. I didn’t read it because I know it’s not necessary. My suggestion is to do the same. The Mama and Peter that I know in the flesh are the same Mama and Peter that I read about in the Letters, and that’s enough for me!

* * *

From Someone Who Knows!

By Gabe, of Amy, WS

I didn’t come to the Folks’ house to help write or edit pubs. I came because I had the gift of helps and I loved to serve. I was very happy in my ministry. I cooked Dad’s food for seven years. I made his bed for 12 years. I enjoyed my ministry.

Eventually, because of the gifts the Lord had given me, combined with the training I had received from Dad and Mama, the Lord called me to be a shepherd. That is what I have done for the last 12 years.

I would venture to say I spent more time with Dad than anyone else besides Mama. I joined the staff in 1981 and was there in 1994 when Dad took his last breath. The reason I spent so much time with him was because I cooked for him; I brought him his food; I was his handyman, his driver. I even slept in the same room with him at times when he was extremely sick and Mama was exhausted and needed extra rest. I know Dad. I continue to feel his presence in my life every day. When I drive, I hear his voice cautioning me just as he did when he was sitting in the back seat. When I do handyman work, I hear his voice reminding me to pray. His training continues to play a big part in my life, and I’m thankful for that.

Because of all the time I spent with Dad, and knowing him on such an intimate basis, I of course saw him at his good times and bad times. I could tell you many things he did that proved his imperfection, but can also testify that he loved the Lord above all and gave all of himself and his life and strength to serve the Family. I know Dad had a sincere love for the Lord, as well as a fear of failing Him. This is why he passed on every message and revelation that he received. He knew that many of the things that the Lord gave him were going to be difficult for some people, but his love and reverence for the Lord motivated him to do what he had to do.

When I joined the staff back in 1981, in South Africa, there were 10 people on the staff. There was Dad and Mama, Peter, Joy, Sara, Alf, Pearl, Dora, James Penn, and myself. I’m happy to say that all of these people, except for James, are still going strong for the Lord. They’re all serving the Lord in some capacity in the Family.

I was saddened when I heard about James leaving the Family. I was very close to him for many years. His and others’ decisions to leave the Family have helped me understand what you young people feel when your friends, brothers or sisters leave the Family. Of course, each person has to make his own choice; that is part of the Lord’s plan and something Dad and Mama have tried to teach us.

When James decided to write his negative point of view, it saddened me even more. James was at one time a dedicated David’s Mighty Man and a big help to Dad and Mama on many occasions. I don’t want to argue James’ points one by one, but I will tell you what I know to be the truth about Mama and Peter, and the choice is yours as to who you will believe.

Keep Your Eyes on the Lord

Dad was human. He had weaknesses, but he was honest about them. For example, Dad was very honest about his weakness for alcohol, which he confessed to the whole Family in “MY CONFESSION!—I Was an Alcoholic!” (ML #1406). I’m happy to say that the last three years of Dad’s life, he didn’t drink any alcohol. Anybody who knows anything about alcoholism can recognize that that is a total miracle. Of course, Dad wasn’t an alcoholic in the true sense of the word because most alcoholics desire to drink constantly. Dad did not drink during the day and only drank in the evenings, when he woke up in the middle of the night, and when he couldn’t sleep or was trying to go to sleep. In my opinion, this isn’t a true alcoholic; nevertheless, Dad felt it was a weakness. He also felt it was necessary to be honest with you, his Family, about his weaknesses. The main reason he wanted to share his weaknesses with you is so that you would know he was human and that you wouldn’t look to him, but rather you’d look to the Lord. I can’t possibly count how many times Dad reminded us around him to look to the Lord and not to him. He did so constantly.

Mama and Peter are also human. They have their personal weaknesses just like you and me, but they’re also honest about them. Like Dad, they also have constantly reminded us to look to the Lord.

Many people are thankful to Dad and Mama because of their love for the Lord and the decisions they made to make the Family possible. It’s like that verse, “By one man’s obedience many were made righteous.” Because of Dad’s faith and obedience to the Lord, he was used of the Lord to start the Family. Lots of people are very thankful to Dad and Mama, and now Mama and Peter, for their continued love for the Lord. This is natural, but the thing Dad, and now Mama and Peter, have tried over and over to stress to us is to not look to them, but to the Lord.

Way back in 1982 when the Family was sending Dad their videos of their marvelous works around the world, we were sitting with Dad watching a video of our Family. One Family member on this video was expressing his love and appreciation for Dad so exuberantly and enthusiastically that Dad felt he was giving too much credit and glory to Dad rather than the Lord. So Dad paused the video in frustration and explained to us, “You guys have to realize that if anything good gets done, it’s the Lord. You have to give credit to the Lord. You can’t give credit to me.” He said, “What has to happen? Do I have to get sick; do I have to die? If you guys are going to give me the credit, then I’m going to have nothing but problems. You’ve got to remember to give the credit to the Lord, and this is very, very important. Now, I want you to learn that lesson and I want you to learn it well.” Then he released the pause button and we continued to watch the Family video.

He also explained at that time that he had weaknesses and problems and made mistakes, but, he said, “As long as you guys continue to keep your eyes on the Lord, the Lord will not fail you and He won’t fail us. We’ve just got to keep our eyes on the Lord.”

The Bible says to desire not to be teachers, because unto you is the greater condemnation. The interpretation of “condemnation” in this verse is “judgment.”—There’s a greater judgment and more is expected of teachers, shepherds and leaders, so it’s important that you pray for them and do your part to keep your eyes on the Lord and not on them.

I think one reason why Mama has promoted prophecy so much is because she wants us to look to the Lord! As long as people are looking to the Lord, then they don’t look to man. Mama and Peter don’t put themselves up on pedestals as being “perfect.” Mama and Peter are like us. They’re doing their best to be a sample of Jesus, to be more like Him, and that’s certainly what is reflected in the Letters, and it’s also reflected in the Home, in their daily interactions, decisions, and discussions.

Because of my 14 years of working with Dad and 20 years of working with Mama and Peter, I could tell you lots of stories and anecdotes to illustrate the point that they are weak human beings, they need others, and they are very open to ideas, suggestions and the opinions of others. Anyone that is trying to control or manipulate someone else doesn’t confess their own weaknesses. There have been numerous times when Dad, Mama and Peter have confessed their faults before the body and asked for prayer. Some of those talks have been published; many of them haven’t. Nevertheless, Mama and Peter continue to come to their teamworkers and sometimes to the whole body when needed to ask for united prayer.

We who live with Mama and Peter see some of the times when maybe they’re tired, irritable, or simply “human,” but that doesn’t make what they publish not true, or of any less value. That doesn’t lessen their anointing as queen and king, or take away from the responsibility and anointing the Lord has given them as the leaders of our Endtime Family. They are human and they have human weaknesses—but they’re NOT like James says they are and makes them out to be. They are not manipulative, deceitful, cruel, uncaring, selfish or untruthful.

They are learning, as we all are. We all grow, we change, we revolute, and that’s what keeps giving us fire and life to keep serving Jesus. When you stop changing, then you die. In order to change things, you have to reassess, re-evaluate and look honestly at things in life. Mama and Peter do this regularly, and they do so with a lot of counsel with other shepherds, and lots of feedback from you, our dear Family. If they didn’t, our Family would have died out long ago.

The Dangers of Pride

Something that could cause people who know Mama and Peter well and who work closely with them to begin having problems is if those people fall prey to pride. The reason for this is that the Folks are very encouraging; they listen to people; they constantly solicit ideas and opinions and ask those around them for input. What happens then is that we around them get in the habit of being able to share anything with them, whether we agree or disagree with something. Once Mama and Peter hear our ideas, they may have some personal feelings on the matter, but what they do, pretty much without fail, is pray and take things to the Lord. It’s not that they don’t listen to people, it’s just that at some point they take the matter to the Lord. They obey God rather than man.

If we put forth suggestions—and I think for the most part many of our suggestions are taken, implemented and approved by the Lord—over time it becomes easy for you to expect to be not only listened to, but you expect that your suggestions will be taken, because many of them are. But what happens when they’re not? Then it’s easy, when you’re personally involved, to get a bit resentful and hurt. If this continues to grow and you maybe are not praying enough about your suggestions, a root of bitterness can begin to grow and cause you to blame those around you for what looks to you to be wrong decisions. Voila, a problem occurs, and you start labeling Mama and Peter as the “bad guys.” But check out the Word. Read up on bitterness. What is your experience with bitterness? How does it cloud issues? Who’s the villain here?

The sad thing is, sometimes little disagreements can fester or grow and cause somebody not just to disagree with Mama and Peter, but to let that disagreement lead them to the path of bitterness, and eventually they not only leave the path of serving the Lord in the Family, but they go down the path of not serving the Lord at all.

Mama and Peter Listen to Others

Some people say that Mama and Peter don’t listen, that they make all the decisions and call all the shots. I’ve heard this before, and from time to time, when things weren’t going the way I was hoping they would, I would tend to feel that way myself. When I did, I took it to the Lord and asked Him about it. Here’s what the Lord said to me:

“There are certain things that your shepherds, leaders, and prophets are obligated to do for Me. They realize the importance of counseling and they do counsel, as you know, but there are times when they have to do what I have shown them to do. This is their obligation to Me. This is their responsibility to Me. There were times when you even criticized your Father David for not taking your counsel, but he knew the seriousness of following Me and doing what I showed him to do. Now you see the wisdom in the way he operated.

“Even though you didn’t understand it at the time, you see now why he operated this way. When it comes down to it, this is what you admired him for. He bucked the System, went against the tide, and didn’t conform to convention and the norm. He told you that you could live without the System, and you believed him. He told you that you could forsake all and follow Me by faith, and you followed. He told you I would supply, and you saw miracles and testimonies of supply. This increased your faith to continue to follow and have faith. If you hadn’t followed and had faith, you would have missed so much. But you had to follow by faith.”

This little explanation from the Lord, even though short, helped me to understand and have faith.

WS Has Changed

WS has gone through a lot of changes in the last five years, especially with the infusion of a lot of young people. We no longer operate the way we used to. Things have changed. Dad has graduated. We’ve continued to progress. The dynamics of our WS Homes have changed dramatically over the last four or five years as we brought in more newcomers, and particularly more young people.

It’s very difficult for someone like James Penn to speak as an authority about the workings in the Folks’ house when he hasn’t been here for over 10 years! Believe me, things have changed so much. We’ve grown, changed, adapted, morphed in so many ways, in my opinion, for the better! Not that the old was wrong, but we’ve continued to move forward and change and revolute, TTL! Learning to work with the young people that came from the field in many instances, and learning to understand them and how to integrate our generations, now three under one roof, was a challenge, but I believe many of the things we learned in our transitions and mergers have helped our Family worldwide.

Certainly we’ve learned some things the easy way, and others the hard way, but the lessons we’ve learned have been shared through the Letters. The growth we’ve made as a Family is pretty evident, and the growth has not been towards more control by Mama and Peter, but more control over our lives by the Lord. I have experienced this growth in my personal life and in the lives of those in WS, as I’ve visited the various WS units during the past years and talked with and know each person in WS personally.

I shepherded Mama’s Home for 12 years, but a year and a half ago Amy and I were asked to help with the shepherding of another unit. When Amy and I moved to this other unit—which was a fledgling one—Mama trusted us to shepherd and organize the Home without her direct oversight. Not one time that I can remember did Mama get involved in the running of our Home. She could have called, she could have written letters. To me, the fact that she didn’t was commendation that we were doing a good job. She let us operate the Home the way we felt led. We as a Home made our own decisions, decided on our own schedule, set our own in-house goals and policies. As long as our Home members fulfilled their WS responsibility to produce the pubs in their court, Mama was content to leave the ins and outs of how we did it up to us and our Home. (I was never so glad for the gift of prophecy and the emphasis on hearing from the Lord for our situation!)

As a shepherd of a Home in WS—and as someone who hates to be poured into a mold—I have operated and worked independently of Mama and Peter. I don’t want to say it was independent of their oversight, because they were available for counsel whenever we needed it. But as far as them getting involved in the details of our Home and with the personnel of our Home, they did not get involved, except when we asked for counsel and advice on occasion. They figured we’d had several years of training, we were experienced in the new weapons, and they had faith in our channels and our abilities to shepherd. I’ve operated this way for a year and a half now.

Our Home has gone through transitions in the way we operate and do things since our young people came. I have changed, Amy has changed, our shepherding has changed, and our Home has changed. And our Home was Mama’s Home at the time these changes started. Mama and Peter were available for counsel and advice, but we made the adjustment and changes—and they were happy to let us. They didn’t try to control things or get involved with every facet of our lives.

Sincerity, not Manipulation

One of the accusations against Mama and Peter is that they try to manipulate the Family through prophecy. I can personally testify that Mama’s motive in asking the Lord questions and sharing His answers with you is not to manipulate you or to control you, but rather to seek for ways we can serve and love the Lord better.

Mama felt that we needed a closer and more intimate relationship with the Lord and asked Him if there was any way we could love Him more and express our love for Him, which resulted in the Loving Jesus revelation. Mama also asked the Lord if we needed to spend more time praising Him and loving Him, so our prayers wouldn’t constantly be petitions asking Him for things, but also thanking Him for our many blessings. As a result, the affection time/praise time revolution was born. She wanted to make sure that we weren’t resting on our laurels and coasting on our past training from Dad and the way we used to do things. She wanted to make sure we were operating according to how the Lord wanted us to operate today for our personal situations, hence, the emphasis on hearing from the Lord in prophecy individually.

All these various revolutions and revelations were born purely from the motive of loving the Lord and pleasing Him, not for manipulating our personalities and individual characteristics. Mama just loves the Lord—as Dad did—and she feels it’s her responsibility as the shepherdess of the Family to continually ask the Lord if there are any ways that we can love Him more or please Him or do a better job for Him. This is her job and she continues to abide in her calling.

Amy and I recently visited a chiropractor, as Amy sometimes has problems with her back. He was talking to us about the benefits of eating good healthy nutritious food. I explained that we try to do that, but some of the people we live with like white sugar or white flour products. (We don’t buy those products but still, there is the temptation for some people to want to eat them.) He explained to us, “Don’t buy it. Don’t make it available. Just tell them you can’t find it.” He gave us a stern lecture about the harmful effects of these things on your body. Here was a System person trying to get us to enforce some rules and regulations because he knows of the devastating effects junk food has on one’s body. Mama’s motive for trying to get us to take care of our bodies through proper get-out and eating right is because she’s concerned that we have healthy bodies to serve the Lord for a long period of time.

Mama’s motives for asking the Lord questions on various spiritual issues and even practical matters for the Family comes from her desire to love and please the Lord. She is a wise and loving shepherdess who doesn’t want us to fail the Lord in any aspect of our lives.

Mama and “Control”

Mama is concerned that we are doing the most we can do for the Lord. She is an efficiency expert and expects quality work out of people. She insists that you get the rest, exercise, and time off that you need, but also is an anointed motivator with an ability to get you to do your best for the Lord. Sometimes that might mean a little “meddling,” but it’s for the purpose of seeing to it that we’re getting the job done for the Lord that we need to do. It’s not a matter of her desire to control people personally. She has the interests of the Lord’s work at heart, and getting the work done means taking care of the workers.

Mama was very involved with the individuals in her Home at one time, but now those in her Home have largely learned to run and manage themselves, by seeking the Lord more and more. She certainly knows what’s going on and the state of her flock, but for the most part, the Home is run by shepherds who counsel with and inform Mama and Peter of how things are going. A lot of informing the Folks is done through the many personal prophecies that the Home members voluntarily send to Mama and Peter, which are evidence that people are seeking the Lord and asking Him how to go about things.

Mama has been like a parent in many ways. She got involved when she needed to, when we were young and “green” and didn’t really know what we were doing when it came to our work in WS or even areas in our spiritual lives and relationships. But once she had done her motherly job and knew we had the basics down, she stepped back.

Take other scenarios: Would you say that bosses like to control their employees? Yes, some do. By controlling their work hours, they control their home lives too, to a great extent, and they certainly control how the work is done at the workplace. Does the army like to control its soldiers?—Definitely, there’s total control. That’s the nature of the military. Any church organization, corporation, business, or army has to have a united goal. To reach their goal they need an overseer, head or leader who points them in the direction that they believe is the right way to go, and if people want to be part of that group, they follow. The point is, what’s so unusual about Mama and Peter and the Family? What’s the beef? And we in the Family have the security that the leadership of Mama and Peter is sound, wise and according to God’s will, because we know they pray and hear from Him each step of the way, and they counsel with others.

People have to choose whether they want to be part of any organization, corporation, group or whatever, knowing its guidelines and standards. Being in the Family or being in WS is much the same. I believe that if people are not here for the Lord and because of their love for Him, then the Family is not the place for them. No one has to be here just because they were born into it. Each person should make a choice.

I can’t forget a very important point here, and this might be a bit sensitive for some women! Generally (notice I said generally, as there are exceptions), women are noted for being much more easily labeled as “control freaks.” In my experience with women, such as Mama, Amy, Sara, Dora, and other women who are pushers or like to get things done and are really doing something, it can appear that they are trying to control things. Sometimes they are to a certain extent, and they need to in situations where they are the boss and they are responsible to help people do the right thing, as in Mama’s case.

Some women tend to want to know what’s going on all the time so they can plan, and that can make them appear to be “control freaks.” Mama is an extremely curious cat (Leo) and she loves to know what’s going on. That is part of her job, to know the state of her flocks. When it gets into meddling in our personal lives, then the point of “control” comes up. Mama is a bold woman and she is not afraid to tell people what the Lord says. In fact, she often asks the Lord for messages of love, encouragement, instruction, direction, etc, for people when she feels they need it. Sometimes the messages may conflict with our personal feelings or desires.

This is a point at which we can either take something as from the Lord or begin to complain that Mama is trying to so-called “control us through prophecy.” The choice is ours. When I shepherd, I face the same dilemma sometimes when I have to pass on a message to someone. It’s not easy, and I run the risk of someone feeling like I’m out of line to be trying to “tell them what to do.” But really it’s not me; I’m just the channel or vessel passing on what the Lord wants to say to the person, and the choice is always theirs as to what they decide to do with the counsel and whether they will receive it. Nobody can “force” someone to do something, at least not through prophecy. It’s clear in the Charter that it’s our choice to follow a prophecy that is given to us personally, to pray more about it, or to disregard it.

I think the “control” that people struggle with is more often that the Lord tells us what He wants us to do and sometimes it’s hard for us to do it. Then we can either come to grips with it by going back to the Lord and asking Him about it, or we can choose the easy way out. The easy way out is often to blame things on the deliverer of the message if it’s not one that you received yourself, and say they are pushing you, pressuring you, and that you don’t want to be controlled. As a shepherd I have seen person after person who has received hard sayings in a prophecy and has taken them to the Lord personally and asked Him to explain them and has overcome any questions they had that way. I have done that myself as well.

The key is recognizing the cause of the difficulty and dealing with it. Think about it. Why are you having a hard time with a prophecy? Is it because of who received the message? Then ask the Lord about it personally. Is it because of who is talking to you about it? Then ask the Lord about it personally. There is always a solution to the struggles people have, but the individual has to deal with it personally rather than turning around and blaming someone else or some circumstance. That road leads to destruction, not production for the Lord.

We in WS do strive very hard to live the standard in the Letters in our WS Homes. We try very hard to remain united in our goals. Dad explained why we are different than the churches and other religious organizations when he said:

“I’ll tell you, brothers and sisters, what makes the difference—this huge, vast, insurmountable, incontrovertible, undeniable difference!—It’s our unified leadership and total unity! It’s our unified message and total cooperation! It’s our unified organization and total coordination! It’s your unified obedience and total dedication! We are one Family, one Nation, one Kingdom, one Fold, with one Shepherd!” (ML #189:22)

We have found in our WS Homes that to have this high standard of unity it is necessary that someone with authority can make the final decisions. With so many diverse personalities, so many diverse opinions, someone has to be given the authority to make the final decisions. Of course we try to involve all Home members in Home decisions as much as possible. We have Home Council meetings, and we also ask the Lord about any decisions, but sometimes there is still a need for further counsel and final decision-making. That’s where the teamworks of each WS Home, or Mama and Peter in counsel with their teamwork arrive at decisions, taking into consideration the counsel of others and the Lord’s counsel in prophecy.

The members of each WS Home love and respect their shepherds and have agreed to make personal sacrifices for the sake of the unity of the Home. It doesn’t come up very often where anyone disagrees with the decisions to the point that they get up and leave, although that is their prerogative.

It does make it clear in the Charter that you forgo some of your rights when you come to WS, just like you do in a Service Home. There are good reasons for that. For example, we can’t have people working at System jobs when we’ve invited them to WS for a specific ministry. They can’t fellowship with other Homes when we have certain security standards. There are certain requirements we have in WS, which we try to make very clear to people before they come.

The fact of the matter is, yes, we do have some control, but it’s not anywhere near the extent that James portrays and it is something that those in WS have agreed to. And we have agreed to those terms because we love you, we love our work for you, we love the Lord and we love our shepherds.

Amy and I work with a wonderful team that operates very much according to their faith in life, yet are committed to sticking to a high standard. Some have said we run a tight ship, but let me ask you a question, since you are the ones who support us through your tithes. I was once in your place. I went to the post office every month and mailed in my tithe. I laid hands on that tithe in the envelope and I prayed, “Lord help our WS Family to use this money wisely.” We are shepherds of the representatives that you have sent from the field to serve you in administration, publications, and producing the Word. Would you like me to say that we run a loose ship here, that people work when they feel like it—if they get inspired, they work, and if not, they don’t? Or would you rather that people here work hard, put in long hours, and use the money you send in wisely and are frugal?

Human nature is such that it doesn’t like to make sacrifices and die to self. So our job as WS shepherds, and Mama’s job, has been to get people to be inspired about putting in the hours and working hard for you and making the spiritual progress needed in their personal lives. That is a tough job. Believe me, I know. I almost quit, as you read in the “Spiritual Attacks Intensified” GN (ML #3255, GN 856). Then Dad spoke to me, through the messages that were published in that GN and others. He said, “Son, I trained you, I taught you. You have the anointing, you have the authority. Now use it to accomplish what you know needs to be accomplished.” That’s where my life changed. Rather than running from my calling, I decided to do the hard pick-and-shovel work of being a shepherd. One of my friends on the field, who was a really good shepherd but had stopped shepherding, told me, “I didn’t want to continue to go through the breakings it requires to be a loving and understanding shepherd.” By the way, when he told me this, he was explaining how he needed to get back into shepherding and has since abided in his calling.

I decided to fight on and am still fighting. It’s not easy. I sometimes feel like quitting, just like you probably do. But my personal goal is still the same. I live for winning souls and giving the message of love and salvation to the world. I can’t personally go out and do that much, but I believe that the Family is the best place to do it. I live for you who are out there doing the job. I know it takes faith, and our goal is to provide you with the Word, which gives you the faith to fight on.

Besides the GNs, my favorite pubs are the FAR, Grapevine and other such pubs that show what a tremendous job you are doing. You’d better be doing the job, because we are living to serve you, and if you’re not, I might come out and try to “control” you! Ha! I’m just kidding. I know that’s impossible, as you’re all so different and unique in your special way. We are committed to doing our job here of getting out the Word—which for me means shepherding those who do. I pray we continue to operate in unity here, and with you, so that we can accomplish the Lord’s will for us as a Family.

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A Queen To Be Proud Of!

By Abi, CRO, USA

Peter and I met each other in our junior year of high school and ended up as boyfriend/girlfriend from that time on. We met the Family together while traveling in Europe, and we joined in 1971. From the very beginning I knew there was something very special about Peter—he seemed to have a special love for those he came in contact with. Everyone seemed to love being around him. Of course, when we met the Family this came out even more and continued to grow as he lived with Dad and Mama.

When he was asked to go and be with the Folks, he was very loving and considerate about it; even though we parted physically, I never felt abandoned in any way. He continued to call me his wife and was always very loving and caring in our interaction together. Whenever we would see each other it almost felt as if we had not been apart.

Even when he got married to Mama—something I was so happy about as I knew how much Peter loved Mama—he still included me whenever we were around each other.

I’ve had the blessing of visiting with Mama and Peter for extended periods at different times over the years that I’ve worked with them. During these visits I’ve gotten to see the fruit of the Word they so faithfully pour out, through their sample of living it.

If they were as corrupt as some former members make them out to be, I don’t think so many would be touched by their sample of love, concern, and simplicity. I don’t think they could fool all those that they come in contact with.

Like Dad, you can tell that Mama and Peter are not here for their own profit, gain, or comfort—and this is something I’ve seen them sacrifice time and again for others. I don’t think anyone would complain about them being comfortable or having nice things, as they give so much of themselves. But the way they and their household live is a sample of simplicity and frugalness with the Lord’s funds, from their housing, down to their vehicles, furnishings, and personal needs.

Even when there’s a need for something that costs a little more—as they usually get things secondhand—I saw Mama very concerned about the price. She had a very painful ingrown toenail and needed some good walking shoes, and when someone pointed out some which fit without hurting her toe too much, I saw her battle over the price and spending money on them.

Once, while Mama was traveling through our area on business, I saw her choose to stay in a very small motor home over a bigger, nicer one, as she wanted the two secretaries she was traveling with to have that one. And then when it rained and the motor home she was in leaked, you didn’t hear a complaint out of her mouth—only thankfulness that it wasn’t worse. I was convicted, as I felt she deserved something better and could have easily moved into a hotel, which would have been a lot easier physically, but again she opted to stay, remaining happy and content in her surroundings. In my opinion, she is a queen to be proud of.

In working with Mama and Peter I have never felt that I couldn’t say certain things. They have always wanted to hear whatever I had to say, and in fact have encouraged me time and again to speak up and say whatever I felt, even if it was contrary to the way they were feeling.

They encourage us as field leaders to question things and bring them to their attention for further prayer, counsel, and direction. I’ve never felt that we had to always do things the way they’ve been done in the past. In fact, I feel the opposite, and sometimes felt bad that I didn’t have more to contribute in the way of new ideas or suggestions.

You can tell from the Letters that they’re not content with the way things are, but they’re always looking for ways to do things better. It’s so untrue that they don’t appreciate contrary opinions.

I remember a time I was explaining some trials a person I was helping to shepherd was having. After I was done, Mama explained to me that these were very longstanding problems which I needed to be aware of, but she never discouraged me from trying to help, and having faith that that person could change. She is not stuck on how things were in the past, but instead she is a woman of faith—knowing that things can and will change.

I remember getting corrected for whispering something to someone at the table in front of someone who was battling and feeling a little left out. I could have gotten sensitive about this correction, thinking that that person should be a little stronger. But when praying about it, I saw the love and concern Mama has for others—something you definitely see in the Word and through her sample in every way.

These are all things that would not be if Mama and Peter were as corrupt as some are making them out to be. I know that they’re human and probably make mistakes like all of us, but one thing I know is that they respect the Lord’s voice and leading, and in coming to Him so often, if there’s anything that needs to be changed, they will do it, as evidenced by the New Wine coming out.

In Mama and Peter encouraging all of us to hear from the Lord ourselves, you can see that they’re not getting everyone to look to them. They want all of us to have our own personal connection with Him. They aren’t controlling us through the Charter or the S2K—they have just defined for the Family the guidelines the Lord gave for discipleship, which have been right there in the Bible all along.

I’ve seen that when you open yourself up to the Lord for His guidance through prophecy, whether you get it through the Word or yourself through a personal prophecy, the Lord always leads you to do the right thing—the harder thing—as He is helping us to be the disciples He wants and needs us to be—called out and separate.

I don’t know if I can really do the subject justice, but it hurts to hear some of the things that are being thrown out. I know Mama and Peter personally and I’ve seen their hearts through the Letters that have come out, along with seeing their personal sample, and I stand beside them fully convinced that they’re doing the right thing. We have a ways to go and a lot to learn, but I firmly believe that we’re making a mark, and that’s what’s important to me!

* * *

How I See Things

By Steven (Silas), CRO, ASCRO

I have been in the Family for approximately 29 years. Having been not only in the Family but in a variety of positions of responsibility over the years, it has been amazing to experience the different revolutions that the Family has gone through—including the graduation of Dad to his Heavenly reward and continued oversight of the Family, the “New Day” weapons that have been introduced through Mama and Peter’s anointed leadership, and their having received Dad’s mantle, like Elijah of old.

I often think back on the different things that have happened over the years, such as the “New Revolution,” the “RNR,” the FFing revolution, the DFing revolution, and so forth—most of which had fairly major ramifications for the Family as a whole, often leading to a realignment of our goals. In some cases, such as with the RNR, it resulted in a clean sweep of the leadership at the time, leading to a “New Day” leadership then as well.

We shouldn’t be shaken in mind or spirit when there is a purging, as it has happened before in the Family. It has almost always resulted in a stronger, more determined, more dedicated Family than before. For example, during the RNR, some of the top leadership of the Family, including Deborah, Jethro, Rachel, Timothy and pretty much the entire “top,” with the exception of Dad and Mama, ended up choosing another path—yet the Family has accomplished more since then than we ever dreamed possible. In some ways, I feel that what we have experienced in the last few years is not unlike that, although in many ways we seem to be faring much better now than we did after the RNR.

The reason I mention this is because of some pretty malicious lies and exaggerations that have been circulating of late, which have destabilized some—particularly some of our younger generation who may not remember that these things have happened before, and yet the Lord has kept us and made us stronger and better through it. “Every branch that beareth fruit, He purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit” (Jn.15:2).

I want to share with you a few personal experiences that I have had over the years, from as far back as 1975 when I first met Peter in Italy, before the RNR. Needless to say, we (Endureth and I) have both had our ups and downs, depending on what the Lord was doing in our lives. But thankfully He has allowed us to make it and to change with the different moves of the Spirit that have happened over the years—which is the reason why the Family has kept alive and vibrant to this day, challenging “the very gates of hell.”

My experiences with Mama

I met Dad and Mama when they were living in the Philippines many years ago. We were all living at MWM at the time in Sri Lanka. There was a plan for MWM to move to the Philippines, and I was asked to go house hunting. To my surprise, it turned out that Dad and Mama were living there. To my even greater surprise, I was invited to visit their Home.

Over the years many people have written about how wonderful Dad and Mama are, which I can certainly affirm from my limited 25-day stay. The experience left a lasting impression on me, and it’s something that I treasure and will never forget. Mama was as bouncy, bubbly and full of life as I had read, always concerned for those around her. She went out of her way to pass on to me little tidbits, counsel, love, and appreciation every time I happened to encounter her. Of course, she had not taken on Dad’s mantle at that time, as he was still here with us, but it was clear even then how gifted spiritually she was, and how the Lord had given her such a mother’s care and heart for all of us in the Family. She was then and is now genuine, sincere, and real.

Peter’s anointing

Prior to the RNR days, Endureth and I had worked very closely with Timothy Concerned. Timothy was probably the best friend I had in the Family, and we were also very close to Rachel and Emmanuel. Given this, it was very difficult for me when Timothy left. But I could see so clearly in meeting Peter what the Lord had in mind all along. The Lord knows what our choices are going to be, and while I don’t know if it can be called predestined, it was clear that the Lord had been grooming Peter from the beginning to fill the shoes that had been temporarily worn by Timothy before he left. Peter was anointed for the job. He was concerned, efficient, and organized—everything that Dad and Mama needed at the time.

I remember meeting Peter at Dad and Mama’s house for the first time in that capacity. It impressed me at the time, and has continued to impress me ever since, how personable and down-to-earth and “real” he is. It’s hard to explain. I suppose when you read a letter from Peter, or some of the wonderful and beautiful prophecies that have been shared with all of us, it’s difficult to imagine that these gifts are embodied in such a friendly, easy-to-talk-to, and genuinely concerned man of God.

Personal encouragement through our battles

One thing I wanted to mention about Peter is regarding my “Weakness Revolution” testimony and lessons that you may remember. (See GN 820, ML#3218:256-294.) Different prophecies were received for me, some of which were pretty strong meat, I thought, ha! Dear Mama and Peter lovingly suggested that Endureth be the one to pass these things onto me on their behalf, to make sure that I was able to take it in the right spirit, in an attitude of faith, and not to be defeated by what the Lord had said, but to be challenged by it. Endureth had a wealth of counsel that she had received from both Mama and Peter on this, and it made a huge difference as far as my being able to take the Lord’s Words as from the Lord and not be devastated but rather challenged by the fact that the Lord was bringing this about in an effort to help me to grow and change.

The concern Mama and Peter had for me personally was very reassuring, and they expressed their unconditional love. I know that love is not just for me either, but for every member of the Family. I know from seeing the amount of correspondence between Mama and the field, the various prophecies that she sends to people in answer to their letters and heart cries is very much the same. It’s a spirit of encouragement, a personal encouragement revolution that Mama herself has lived since the onset of the Charter—or at least that’s my perspective from being able to help handle some of the various messages that she’s passed on to different people in our field.

Going back to this time of the “Weakness Revolution,” the other thing that made a big difference was that Peter had taken a lot of time to put together for me, aside from the prophecies, a beautiful letter of encouragement. I can’t remember how long it was, but the first two pages were nothing but encouragement, commendation, and appreciation, which was then followed by six or seven helpful points of what I could do to help safeguard myself from the weaknesses that I have. The points in themselves were very, very helpful, but the thing that impressed me the most was that Peter took so much of his time to make sure that I was feeling encouraged and not discouraged. That, coupled with the fact that both Mama and Peter had gone out of their way to make sure Endureth was able to encourage me personally each day until I had gotten over the hump, helped me to know that they have genuine concern for each one of us in the Family.

Though there may be times when we need to have our weaknesses or the areas that we need to grow in pointed out, this does not necessarily mean anything other than that the Lord is showing a little bit of “tough love” through our dear queen and king. It’s part of their job in shepherding and leading the Family.

Mama and Peter via video

Another recent experience that we [CROs/VSs] had with regard to Mama and Peter was seeing them on video. It was very exciting to see how natural and “real” they were. Not having been around Mama physically very much made the videos pretty exciting for everybody. She’s funny, natural, engaging, determined, spiritual, and wise—everything that the Lord has said. The anointing and the gifts of the Spirit were obvious and impressed us in a wonderful way. Then, of course, the natural way that she and Peter were with each other—both in terms of affection, humor, or the prophecies and spiritual principles that they were sharing—was fantastic.

Peter’s sacrificial nature

Four or five years ago, Peter and a small team visited Thailand. One of the things that impressed everyone who met Peter at the time was how concerned he was for everyone that he met, every Home he visited, every person he talked to, every situation that he encountered, every project that he became aware of. He was extremely sacrificial with his time, and spent a lot of time talking to the different individuals he met whom he felt he wanted to talk to, or who wanted to talk to him, regardless of his personal needs or strength.

He took time in the Homes he visited to meet with the children, to tell them about life with Mama, to show them pictures of Mama and his Home, etc., which the children still talk about. He showed himself so interested in and concerned about the mission field of Thailand, and all that the Lord was doing here.

Mama’s outgoing love and concern for others

This is something that I’ve been impressed by at Summit meetings—how Peter would go out of his way to show the Lord’s love to the various women leaders that would attend, knowing that he is quite in love with Mama, and she with him, and it’s not necessarily that easy being away from each other for such lengths of time.

Knowing what a sacrifice it must be on Mama’s part, it has been pretty remarkable to me to see how Peter has continued to go out of his way to show a large measure of love, sharing with the different women that attended the Summit, knowing again that this is something that Mama is not only a party of, but definitely encouraging. Both Mama and Peter were an example of living the Law of Love to the full. Another thing that has impressed me regarding Mama is how concerned she is for the individual. I know that for Endureth the last many years have sometimes not been super easy for various reasons. Although we are still mated and together in every sense of the word, I am also together with Pearl, and we have several children together.

Although I’m not sure if it’s for that reason, I do know that Mama has gone out of her way to make sure that Peter has shown Endureth a large measure of love during the times we have visited, which is something that Endureth has been very appreciative of. This personal love, concern, and the personal touch is so beautiful and Christlike. It’s somewhat inescapable and these are some of the things that I have seen and experienced with Mama and Peter both.

I hope that gives you a picture of my experiences with Mama and Peter, which couldn’t be anything but wonderful, beautiful, and very real. The Lord is now beginning to bring to pass an era of greater works that will make everything that the Family has done until now seem like building blocks for what He had planned all along. It’s therefore not surprising, just as Mama said in a recent Letter, “Stay on the Wall,” that the Enemy is fighting in a variety of ways, including this particular letter from a former member that is not only insidious, but has the intent of weakening those who the Lord has chosen to carry on this work until He returns.

* * *

Mama, Peter, and the Grandkids!

By Rejoice, WS

My name is Rejoice. I worked with Keana (Techi) during her teen years, and have been involved in the daily care of Mama and Peter’s grandchildren, Trevor and Olivia, for the last four and a half years.

About a year and a half ago we moved closer to Mama’s Home for a while, and there I met her for the first time. During the time that we were living nearby, Mama and I had some talks together.

Even before I met Mama, her love and concern for Keana and the grandkids came through in her wanting me to communicate regularly and share news of how things were going. I’m a mother whose grown son is off on a mission field, so it was very easy for me to understand Mama’s desire for this communication. You want to hear news about your child because you love them so much and they’re such a part of you.

Something that I admired in Mama was that I never felt my communications with her had to be watered down. I didn’t feel I had to hold back and not be honest with her even when Keana went through her difficult teen years. There were a couple of times when I felt nervous about some of the things I wrote, but Mama took everything in stride and would right away write back encouraging notes to me along with either some counsel or telling me how they were praying for the situation and Keana and me. I think it’s a wonderful quality in a mother to be able to hear not only the good things about your child, but also hear about the hard times they’re going through, and then not blame you for their hard times, even when I know there were times I didn’t handle things as well as I could have.

Then Keana had Trevor, Beth had Olivia, and once Mama was a mommy but now she is a grandma. What’s more, the mommies, grandkids and I, along with some others, moved nearer to Mama and Peter’s Home for a time, so Mama and Peter got some hands-on grandparent training. I’m happy to report that although some of the first sessions were pretty exhausting for them, they came through with flying colors. Ha!

Mama is a normal grandmother, although she is the first to admit that caring for little kids is not her forte. The kids are live wires, and Mama and Peter have sometimes come out of a few hours with the kids ready to take a nap. Nevertheless, even when she and Peter have been busy with the affairs of the Family, they really try to make time for the grandkids.

When first living near them, they were so excited about the grandkids and decided they would take the kids on an outing. The mommies were a bit concerned, knowing full well how exhausting two four-year-olds can be, especially these guys who are so full of energy. So after talking a bit with the mommies, Mama and Peter decided, “Well, maybe we’ll take them for a few hours in the afternoon instead of for a full day.”

Mama and Peter haven’t been with young kids this age probably since David and Keana were that age; plus, as you know, as we get older we just don’t have the stamina that we used to. After a few hours with these guys (and there’s nothing shy or meek about these two once they warm up!), both Mama and Peter were wiped out and told the mommies that perhaps the next time they’d bring a support staff. Ha! After taking the kids that first time, Mama and Peter also took them for other outings. (This time the mommies went along!) They did things like going to the circus and to a marine park.

When Trevor was sick with a cough, Mama called to talk to him on the phone to encourage him and pray for him. He was so excited. While he was on the phone, Olivia was in the background shouting she wanted to talk with grandma too, which of course Mama had full intentions of doing.

One time when Mama and Peter were going to take a trip, the kids, upon hearing about it, wanted to draw and color some pictures for them and also send them prophecies for their trip.

The kids love Mama and Peter a great deal and often talk about them. One day when Olivia was talking with Keana about their grandparents, she said, “I know Peter is my grandpa, but I call him King for short.” Ha!

When the kids were making a card for Mama’s birthday, I was suggesting different pictures to draw, and one was the picture of Mama with the sheep. They had on occasion seen some real shepherds, so they both looked at me and I could tell they were visualizing Mama as a shepherd of real sheep and trying to figure out why on earth, with all she had to do, she would be walking across the pastureland herding a bunch of sheep. Then the penny dropped and they realized, “Oh, but we are the sheep, right?”

One time when Mama and Peter were at our Home giving a talk, they wanted to be sure that Olivia and Trevor had special time with them. So when they first came they spent a bit of time with them and then had a dinner with them and the mommies. After the dinner the kids were just beaming and telling me of all the fun they had while with their grandma and grandpa. I wish I could remember all their little stories of what went on, but what sticks in my mind is how happy and excited they were and just talking on and on about all the fun they had with them.

Mama and Peter, being in many ways typical grandparents, give the children little gifts at times. One thing that stood out to me was that they were concerned that when the kids thought of them they would associate their love and care and gifts as coming not only from them, but from the Lord as well. They try to bring the Lord into the conversation with the kids whenever they can, but not to the extreme where it gets to sounding preachy. The little surprises they give to the kids range anywhere from books, a magic trick set, or a prophecy from Jesus printed on special paper.

The kids love receiving prophecies from grandma and grandpa, and are so excited when they get home to show them to us.

Also at Christmas and for the kids’ birthdays, Mama and Peter made sure they spent time with them, along with giving a gift to each of them and praying for them. The gifts they gave weren’t extravagant, but to the kids, the fact that their grandparents gave it to them makes them very special. On their last birthdays, which are eleven days apart, Mama and Peter spent time with each one of them individually. They wanted to emphasize to them that Jesus’ Words are the very best present of all, so they gave them each a beautiful birthday message printed out clearly in big letters with pictures and borders and stickers. They gave these to the children first, emphasizing what a special privilege it was to receive such a wonderful present from Jesus. Later they gave them a toy, but only after making a big deal of the birthday prophecy—reading and discussing it together. I know that it always touches the mommies’ hearts to see both Mama and Peter so concerned about the kids and taking time from their very busy schedule to spend with them.

Mama is very concerned that each one gets equal time, and anything she gives to one, she goes out of her way to make sure the other has the same or something equivalent. One day I told Mama that the kids noticed that one of their prophecies was on a larger paper than the other. Mama responded that she had a check about that, but that the prophecies were already printed out so she had gone ahead, hoping they wouldn’t notice. She made sure the next time she sent a prophecy for them that they each had the same size paper. That takes time and love to go to that degree to make sure one child doesn’t feel they’re any more special then the other.

In talking with her about the little guys, Mama has been very supportive and encouraging in my care of them. She has never made me feel that I don’t do it right or anything like that. She is so easy to talk to and always listens when I explain different things the kids are learning or battling, and she’ll often take my hand or touch my shoulder and shoot up a prayer right then and there for them and me.

When first hearing that I would be coming to live closer to Mama, I wondered what it would be like. I understood that Mama was very concerned for all the children in the Family, and from what I’d read and heard, I felt that she tried not to be partial in her love even with her own, but I did wonder what she would be like around her daughter, son, and grandchildren. I was very impressed as I saw her give them that personal love and touch that only a mother and grandmother can provide. She’s concerned about their health, their relationships, their ups and downs, their needs, basically everything.

From what I’ve seen, though, she has this level of concern with all of us. True, it may be manifested differently with each individual, but she doesn’t show partiality to those of her immediate family, but has that motherly concern and love for all. It’s a tough role to play, because she wants her own family to know that they’re special to her, but at the same time she’s also a mom to us all, and I personally think she plays this role very well.

Each time I’ve seen Mama she asks me about Keana and about how the grandkids are doing. Whatever she can do to help, whether it’s with a prayer, spending extra time with them, or whatever, she’s available for them and it’s obvious.

I hope this gives a little insight into Mama, and Peter too, and their interactions as parents and grandparents. They are concerned and caring people, but a lot of fun also. They enjoy mixing and mingling with us and letting their hair down when they can. I love them and like them too, and I’m sure you would also if you’d get to meet them.

* * *

Travesty of the Truth

By Bonnie, USA

Recently someone in my Home got an email from a friend containing a lengthy letter which is being circulated from James Penn (commonly known as Phil, also known as Jay or Ray). James was a long-time member of WS, but left the CM Family a little over a year ago. This letter was supposed to be a personal letter written to a couple in answer to their question of why he had left the Family, but it seemed pretty obvious to me that it was written with a much broader vision in mind, as evidenced by its pubs-like format.

I’ve lived behind the scenes in WS for 16 years—12 of them with Dad, Mama and Peter. And I happen to know James very well. I also lived in the same Home as James for the two years previous to his departure from the CM Family, during the beginnings of the GPU (now FCF). All that to say that I definitely have something to say on the subject matter of his letter!

Since James feels so free to share his views and opinions of things, I would like to also take the opportunity to freely express mine—which differ considerably! James devotes pages to voicing bitter criticisms and judgments of Mama and Peter (as well as Dad) and their shepherding of the Family, condemning them for everything from the way they handled the issues brought up in the B.I. court case, to their dependence on the Lord through and full faith in prophecy, to their use and application of prophecy, to the way they shepherd people in WS, etc., etc. He uses much carnal reasoning, witticisms and sarcasm to mock Mama and Peter and the New Wine and supposedly prove his point, all the while portraying himself as some poor “victim turned hero,” now himself a “beacon of light” shining the way out of the darkness to help others. Oh boy, give me a break!

James seems to have lost something vital on his road to higher logic and reasoning, and that is simple faith. His road has in fact led him to the depths of judgment and bitterness. Following the Lord and the Word and His prophets has never been and is never going to be “logical” or widely accepted or understood by the mind of man. Reading the Bible shows us that. “For the carnal mind is enmity against God. It is not subject unto the law of God, neither indeed can be.” “My thoughts are higher than your thoughts, neither are My ways your ways, saith the Lord.”

Having lived in the same Home with James before he departed from the CM Family, I could write as many pages as James on what transpired in our Home that long year before he made his decision to depart. James spent very little time in the Word. He had a very exalted opinion of his ability to handle things in his own strength, and deemed himself to be quite far above the average Family member in his intellectual abilities.

While he now out of one corner of his mouth praises and commends Family members for their service to the Lord, Godly attributes and sincerity, during that last year before leaving he made derogatory and condescending comments about Family members as a whole, feeling he was above normal Family members and it was his duty to help these poor, pitiful, brainless people. His comments were very arrogant and self-promoting.

Somehow, in spite of his lack of Word and his operating according to his “great intellectual mind,” he seemed to see himself to be a great discerner of spiritual matters. Hmmm. It was a continual weakness with James over the years that he needed to be reminded to stay in and feed from the Word, especially with the ministry he had of helping to research and write for the more legal and media-oriented pubs. Unfortunately, he spent many more hours of his time reading and studying the words and opinions of man and the world and man’s wisdom than the Lord’s and His Word, and prided himself in his knowledge.

I believe his anger and frustration at Mama and Peter and the way they decided to handle things because of what the Lord showed them in prophecy is because ultimately his pride was offended that they did not take his advice, his “logical” and “reasonable” suggestions. They listened to and considered his and others’ suggestions, and brought them before the Lord, as they always do. But ultimately they follow the Lord and do what He shows them to, and it may or may not be in accordance with what others may think or suggest. James accuses Mama and Peter of not listening to others, but this is far from the truth, as any one of those of us who has lived and worked with Mama and Peter can testify, and which is even evidenced by the many topics in the GNs that Mama addresses that have come from the Family’s personal letters to her and Peter. What really bothered James is that they didn’t do what he wanted them to do and what he thought was best.

Another factor that I personally believe offended James’ pride regarding the use of prophecy is that he did not have the gift of prophecy himself, and it somehow offended his superiority when others who he looked upon as less intelligent and important than himself could receive prophecies about things which Mama listened to and treated with equal respect as anyone else, no matter what their job or position. After all, it was the Lord’s Words, and it didn’t matter to her who they came through and how smart or educated they were. It didn’t matter to the Lord or Mama, but from cutting remarks I heard from James, obviously it mattered to him!

Prophecy sort of leveled the playing field, so to speak, and James found himself feeling not quite as lofty and important as he deemed himself, and this highly offended him. To think that a “lowly” kitchen staff worker could get a prophecy that could override his great and mighty opinions and vast personal wisdom! (It was the hit dog—or should I say humbled dog—who was now howling!) With the growing use of prophecy, people’s opinions were still sought and listened to, but ultimately what the Lord had to say about things (no matter who it came through), and what His opinion was, determined the final outcome. In my opinion, James felt a loss of power and importance, which was very disconcerting for him.

One thing that really angers me is that James thinks he can get away with writing such slander about our loving shepherds, and present such a twisted distortion of them and situations and events by playing upon his position as a long-time member of WS, someone who was really “up there” and “in the know,” and using that as a platform of credibility to dump his disgusting doubts, putrid bitterness, weak faith and gross misrepresentations of the truth on others, basically trying to poison others with his hatred.

He tries to use examples of people who were supposedly mistreated, prophecies that supposedly contradicted each other, things that were decided and said and done, details that he knows that the vast majority of Family members aren’t aware of because they weren’t there, to sow doubt and suspicion and fear and mistrust in people’s minds about Mama and Peter, as well as the New Wine. But hey, I also “was there,” as were others in WS, and sorry, James, “it just ain’t so!” He can’t hand ME that stuff, nor the rest of those that were and still are there. In fact, some of us were there when he wasn’t, and we are aware of the full picture and what happened in each of those supposed examples and situations he writes so confidently and knowingly about. It truly is amazing what some people choose to leave out of their account of things!—Like most of the details and background and important circumstances surrounding their little “factual” statements of things.

James seems to want to make people think that he is the “dispenser of all truth” on “what really happened” when it comes to WS and goings-on behind the scenes and the real scoop about Mama and Peter’s leadership. Well, I guess he just forgot there are a few of us around who were “also there.” Maybe he was counting on us not saying anything. Oops, sorry about that, James.

If people want some nitty-gritty, “inside scoop” stories, I could write a book on what it was like living with James the year or more before his departure from the CM Family. It would probably make for quite interesting reading. But I’ve got better things to do with my time than to write such things, when there’s so much to be done for the Lord, and you’ve got better things to do than read it. It infuriates me that he would attempt to download his big stinking load of spiritual fecal matter on every unsuspecting soul who received his letter!

It grieves me deeply to hear James speak so critically and judgmentally of Mama and Peter when they extended so much love, care, patience, concern, understanding, guidance, prayer and support to him personally for so many years. Personally I was astounded at Mama and Peter’s prolonged love and patience, and willingness to go the extra mile and have faith for him.

I too have received so much from them. Dad and Mama are like my parents. Along with Peter, they loved, shepherded, provided for, listened to, prayed for, trained, encouraged, inspired, comforted and cared for me in every way possible for many years. They were, and continue to be, the most loving, caring parents and shepherds in every way that I could ever hope for. When I joined them in my mid-twenties, I was not quiet, meek, humble, disciplined, spiritual or well trained. I was just the opposite, a bit of a handful, a wild horse with a lot of energy and strong will and a host of NWOs that would have scared anyone! But they saw past all those things (which, believe me, wasn’t easy!) and saw my heart and love for the Lord and desire and willingness to serve Him with all my heart. In spite of the rough material I was made of, they had the faith to take me into their arms, their hearts, their lives and their Home and love me, shepherd, teach me and train me into a more useful vessel for the Lord.

Dad loved each one of us as his children, and no matter what kind of harebrained things we did or how we stumbled and fell, even though we very likely got corrected for it and sometimes a good “spanking,” he was very quick to forget and continued to love us always; there was no doubt about that. I personally made Dad very upset on one occasion through my selfishness and stubbornness, and got quite a deserved tongue-lashing for it. But Dad came up to me afterwards and looked deep in my eyes and took me in his arms and said he was sorry he had to spank me but it was because he loved me, and I knew it. There was no doubt about his love. He made an effort to spend special time with me later on that day just to make sure I knew.

There were many mistakes we on the staff made over the years, both large and small, serious and not so serious, and Dad continued to be the loving father and shepherd that he always was, instructing, guiding, teaching, feeding, correcting, encouraging, comforting, and above all, loving us. And he had fun with us too!

And dear Mama has a very special place in my heart, as she has been, and continues to be, a very real and tangible personification of the Lord’s love, patience, mercy, understanding and tenderness through the years to me. She has never expressed anything but total faith, love and encouragement for me through the years—and sometimes that has been a tough order! Because of my strong will and personality and consequent weaknesses, I have gone through a number of breakings and the Lord’s hand working in my life. I have not been an “easy child,” so to speak. I am not an exceptionally talented or gifted person in any area. I am pretty ordinary, so it’s not like I had some great indispensable talents that outweighed all the trouble I was at times! It was really just the Lord’s love and mercy through Mama, as she continued to encourage me and express faith in me and love me and pray for me through it all. She had faith for me when I did not have it for myself. She loved me when I didn’t see how anyone could love me. She loved me in spite of myself and my weaknesses, and believed the Lord for me and manifested that love and faith, patience and tenderness for years, and still does. THIS is how Mama treats those who live and work with and for her, and so does Peter.

This love Mama has does not stop within her household or WS, but is extended to all of us in the Family. Aside from loving the Lord Himself, Mama lives and breathes for this Family! I can testify that she is thinking of the needs of the Family every waking hour of her day, day after day, as she lays down her life continuously in prayer for us, listening to our letters, bringing our heartaches, needs and desires before the Lord, and then seeking the Lord for His answers and guidance and instruction on practically every aspect of our lives. She lives to receive and feed us the Lord’s Word. She lives to give to us—to give us the Word, to give us love, to give us encouragement, to give us faith, to comfort us, and give the Lord’s answers to our needs and questions. Her whole life is for us and revolves around us—to give us what we need to love, live for, and serve the Lord, and be happy, healthy and provided for in doing so. You have no idea how relentlessly she and Peter both labor for the Family day in and day out, to their own sacrifice. In my observation, Mama and Peter have done and continue to do all that is humanly possible for the Family.

To hear someone like James say that Mama and Peter do not lay down their lives for the sheep is a gross travesty of the truth, a heinous lie! They do nothing but lay down their lives every single day! They both bear a huge burden of responsibility for this Family! How would YOU like to be responsible to the Lord for and daily be confronted with the burdens, problems and heartaches of those in the Family? How would YOU like to be responsible for making some of the decisions that Mama and Peter have been faced with in times of intense persecution—where you neither want to water down or nullify the truth of the Word that the Lord has given just because of the pressure of the godless world system, nor do you want to jeopardize the lives and freedom of our children and Family members?

Most of us can barely carry our own burdens, or those of our personal families, Homes and situations (which we often bring to other shepherds or Mama and Peter), let alone bear those of the entire Family! It is so easy to sit in the judgment seat and criticize others when we’re not the ones who are responsible before the Lord for the outcome and its sometimes serious consequences. I’m sure it would make each one of us very very desperate! And so it does Mama and Peter.

If Mama is anything, she is most certainly a woman of prayer. If anyone believes in prayer, I can testify that she does! She believes in it, and she practices it, and makes sure those who live and work with her do the same—and bear our burdens and the burdens of our Family daily in prayer. She and those who live and work with her pray continually for us—our problems, trials, afflictions, provision, protection, ministries and situations, both generally and specifically. She and they often pray for specific people and situations they know of around the world, and they are aware of a lot. Those in WS consider it a part of their service to the Family to fight for and support you daily in prayer, and this is due to Mama’s personal conviction and love and concern for you, and her faith in prayer, which she practices herself, along with Peter.

Mama is very much touched with the feeling of others’ infirmities, and more concerned about others’ troubles or suffering than her own. Any of us who have lived with Mama over the years know how cheerful and positive she is in spite of some of the intense afflictions she has endured for years at a time with her eyes, headaches, and for a while profuse bleeding. Often you would talk to her on the intercom or see her in the hallway, and unbeknownst to you she would be battling a headache or her eyes were extremely sore and hurting, or she was nigh to fainting due to weakness from loss of blood. Yet you would never know from her countenance or reaction to you. She would always be full of love and concern for you, asking you about yourself and your work and how you were doing, being sure to love and encourage you in some way, and listen to any of your problems or woes, and pray with and for you on the spot, all the while suffering herself.

I have had regular migraine headaches for the past six years. Thank the Lord, they are much milder than they were in the past. I first started getting them regularly when I was with Dad and Mama, and they were rather severe. Mama was always very concerned when she heard I was getting one, and would usually call me on the intercom. I would try to insist on working until it got to the point I was not capable of working, because there was so much to do and not so many of us to do it. But Mama would make me stop working at the first sign of a headache and insisted that I forget everything else and just rest and get whatever I needed to make me as comfortable as possible. Not only would she pray for me herself but would have everyone else in the Home praying for me. She would have people check on me regularly to see if there was anything I needed or they could do for me to make me more comfortable, whether it be dashing to the store for some bubbly water to help the nauseousness; preparing something for me to eat; or getting a cold washcloth and bathing my forehead, or lightly massaging my head. She would have someone take time from their work to sit and read the Word to me to encourage my spirit and give me something to hold onto during this time of affliction and battle. She would make sure there was an intercom right beside me within reach so that I would not have to get out of bed or look for it should I need to call someone for help or prayer.

Many times Mama told me how she admired my fight and perseverance through my affliction, and how her afflictions were nothing by comparison. Well, I certainly beg to differ with her on that one! My headaches, however severe at the time, usually only occurred once a month and only lasted for 24 hours. Dear Mama faced very sore eyes on a daily basis and often had headaches while carrying her huge load of responsibility in the feeding and shepherding of the Family, yet remaining so cheerful and positive all the while. To me, she is amazing!

Mama always deems others’ sufferings greater than her own, yet her own sufferings have given her great compassion and tenderness towards others who suffer, not only physically but spiritually or emotionally as well.

All I can say is I have never been as loved or well cared for in every way as when living and working with Dad, Mama and Peter. I have received great love, care, understanding, input, training and shepherding. However undeserving, I consider myself to have been incredibly blessed, even “spoiled,” to have received so much when deserving so little. It was just the Lord’s love through them—through Dad, Mama, and Peter.

So, if you want to know how Dad, Mama and Peter treat those who live and work with them, that’s my experience.

I know there are many of you who have met Peter on his travels and have seen what kind of a man he is, and I’m sure there is no doubt in your mind why the Lord has chosen and entrusted him with the responsibility of being our king. We couldn’t ask for a kinder, gentler, more loving, serving king.

All I can say is “wherefore by their fruits you shall know them”—the fruits of the Family all these years in the way of souls reached, the message going out to all the world and those helped and won to the Lord; and the fruits in your own lives from the wealth of Word and spiritual input and training that has been poured out to you, and your own relationship with the Lord. That is fruit of Dad, Mama and Peter being willing to lay down their lives for you every day to take on the burden of the responsibility of shepherding this Family and its many facets, people, ages, nationalities, situations and complexities. It is a burden and responsibility of desperation, of prayer, of sacrifice, of love, and of giving without end. Those are the kind of shepherds we have! Thank You, Jesus!

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